₦airaland Forum

Tamarapetty:
You thank God u're happily married now, so MOVE ON! U couldn't speak up all these years, na now the guy don marry u see to talk rubbish. . Get over it and stop being a beetch

if it is true then nothing stops her from speaking now or 70 years time. It is better than not speaking at all

Speaking sometimes helps with closure.

She should have spoken to the police or a lawyer first though before going public

She has been quite strong.

unlike what we typically see in failed marriages where the woman is playing saint and making the man the villian, Tiwa has not tried to manipulate the audience or attract self pity like her ex-husband did. She does not try to malign his character.

if she says she feels like giving up then we should take her serious instead of mocking her. She is not known for drama and manipulation.

AmazonTopaz:
Will sure do.
I believe we should be less judgemental of people.
I like to do what pleases me and I do not also force people to do what they do not like.
The post you quoted is what I plan to do when I find Mr right.

Nice one. Bravo !

AmazonTopaz:
Oga elder how far?
Don't mind them see nairaland men crying he couple have no problem so wetin dey there?

As for me I done dey talk am small small for house the idea of brideprice does not go down well with me culture or no culture.I believe culture is dynamic not static whether I am copying whites or Africans what I know is that I won't have an elaborate wedding I don't even expect him to kneel down self(depending on who proposes self)any decision concerning my marriage is between my husband and I family opinion is secondary.
So I would only have a registry marriage and have my honeymoon in Madagascar or Mauritius no time to waste.

indeed live and let live. find a Man who aligns with your values and expectations and do your thing the way you both want.

... and allow those of us that want to kneel and/or be "kneeled to" do our thing too

matters of preference are not definitive nor easily prescriptive.

Barristter07:
The man isn't saying a man should abandon his mother, Only a foolish man will do so, the key message in that post is " PRIORITY " . If either the wife or husband prioritize their parents than their partner. , the marriage bond is doomed . There are matters that should not even go beyond the two of them which they will carry to their parents and before you know it, their advice as imperfection can ruin it's ugly heads may cause further troubles or in some instances some parents start to broadcast the issue and to exaggerate; the matter will appear on NTA .


Some boys can't make decision until they call Mama , and ( being human she would give advise that will favour her own interest as against the wife )

Likewise some Girls will carry small matter and cry to their mum ( being human she also will want to protect her daughter at any cost even if it means dishonoring the man) , before you know it, a small issue has escalated to a big one.

carrying matter to mum isn't love. it is indecision. The OP was talking about love.

Love for parents is Storge and comes naturally. Love for wife starts from Eros, then dies or morphs into Agape (if the couple take decisive steps to be selfless) before reaching Storge/Philia where it then comes naturally.

final note: for those of you christians, you are under oath to love your wife.

not exactly

SmartyPants:
You are simply saying precisely what the young chap said.

they are saying different things:

the part starting from "Honour your father and your mother" was where the OP "young chap" started making a comparison

pocohantas:
LMAO!!!! Thanks for the laugh!!!

You are welcome. I know you are female though. I can probably induce a lot more.

pocohantas:
When I say men, my intention is not generalise. I mostly use it as a generic term. I do know there are some who are clear on what they want, but the bulk of them are hypocritical on this topic.

when you say them , do you mean those on this forum or at least those you have been able to track their conflicting needs/expectations?

Zinny25:
Please if any of you get to bond from here, biko let us know.

So some us can begin to reconsider the decision we ve taken concerning 'online things'

Goodluck to all of you

online relationships do work. I know countless examples.

However, they work more on platforms like facebook or instagram and not faceless forums like Nairaland.

It could take a long while to build trust here when you are not even sure of the gender of the person you are chatting with

Preshy561:
abeg,stop exposing your ignorance online.
thank you.

do you remember your "She is 100% correct" and "at least 70% of nigerian men are guilty" stats on the assertion "The minute he tastes money, his true colours will shine" in another thread. You justified your stats with "it has happened to me".

That was a worse generalization than the one the person you just insulted did.

pocohantas:
1) Why do Naija guys think sex is a loss to the lady?

2) Why will a guy and girl have sex, then Naija guys will call only the lady olosho with borehole pùssy?

3) Why is there so much emphasis on female chastity and virginity, but none for guys?

4) Why is male infidelity more tolerated/accepted than the female one?

5) Why do Naija guys turn totometer, trying to calculate the mileage of their girlfriend's vagina?

6) Why will you give a Naija man a blòwjob and he'll be wondering which man's dick you learned it with?

7) Why would a Naija guy date a girl and when they break-up, he will be happy he at least fuckéd her. Does it take something away from her? If yes, what? Is it a gift or collateral to the guy? If yes, why?

8 ) Why are there thousands of thread on guys analysing the female vagina, its depth, width, colour... in relation to her sexual partners?

9) Why is a sexually experienced guy a stud and his female counterpart, a slut?

10) Why are Naija girls slutshamed for being sexually expressive, whereas the guys can share sexcapades on ashawo beer parlour thread?

12) "Virginity is the best gift a woman can give her husband".
Do you agree with the above statement. If yes, why?

13) "A man can love his wife and fùck around, but a woman who does same can kill her husband". Do you agree with this statement. Discuss in not more than 6 lines.

14) If sex is indeed pleasurable for both,why does the female get all the antagonism and the guy gets the accolade?

If you can correctly and sincerely answer these questions.
The answer you seek lies therein.

why are sexually inexperienced guys shamed?

pocohantas:
I think Nigerian men are confused, hypocritical and undecided on what they want from their women sexually. I'm sure we all know what would be "99%" of reactions if a lady opened this thread or any thread telling women to feel free to fúck and move one. Same ladies they want to be sexually liberal and expressive.

That's what happens when men talk too much, they become less mysterious and more contradictory .

What john wants differs from what james wants.

... and what sally wants differs from what Lara wants.

I have heard "Men don't really know what they want" and "Women don't really know what they want" countless times. The reason for this is generalising one man's (or a few mens') needs as definitive for all male folks that when you hear a different one, it seems men (or women in case of the other gender) are contradicting themselves.

of course there are the rare occasions where the same group of men or women will have conflicting/contradicting demands.

Olalan:
Serves him right...... How people get to have sex with runs girls still amazes me....

from my analysis, the reasons are:

win-win situation for both parties
Not deceiving or stringing a lady along
No emotional complications. Focus is on financial gain and sexual pleasure.

Daeylar:
Men who patronise runs girls should be called runs men.
Men who patronise prostitutes should also be known as prostitutes too.

This one sided definition of someone doing runs doesn't make sense.

This is my only contribution to this thread.

there are male prostitutes but this is reserved for men who earn income from having sex.

As amoral as sleeping with a prostitute is, it does not make you a prostitute

VeeVeeMyLuv:
The reason for this lack of clinical experience is the draconian policy designed by doctors that completely bars allied health professionals such as anatomists from medical setting.

It's a vicious cycle.

truth is science is more research than practice

capitalzero:
it is not just about being a professir ir PhD knowledge. It is about clinical knowledge. we are talking about teaching what will be relevant to clinical practice. It has been found that out most clinical students have poor knowledge of basic med sciences that are relevant to clinical practice during rotations. medical students need to be taught what is relevant so as to produce better physicians. It is people like you that complain of 'bad' doctors but absolve themselves of any blame. anatomy,physiology,biochemistry ,pharmacology and pathology are foundations of medical practice. lecturers in those areas must have clinical experience to teach what is relevant. for example, medical students do not need to be loaded with information in comparative or evolutionary anatomy, students of vet medicine may benefit from that.
but I still believe that PhD holders without medical degree will still be teaching courses like genetics, molecular biology and technical aspects of embryology. my advice is that if you desire to teach medical students,do your PhD in those areas I mention.
Thank you.

you have put it well. Some others made it seem those with PhD's in anatomy were lesser or not knowledgeable enough to teach medical students.

Your post does well to explain that while that might have useful breadth and depth of knowledge, they lack the clinical experience to help relate the basic medical sciences to clinical practices for the medical students.

pocohantas:
Exactly!!!
A wise man buildeth his home...

OP, please follow this advice. Don't listen to all these alphas that would tell you to divorce your wife. They want you to be an unhappy bachelor like them!

lol. forget your obvious sarcasm. sometimes it might actually be better to stay in marriage with her in so far as her cheating was her seeking pleasure only. They have a son in their marriage which could complicate things.

However, if he feels he cannot cope then he should simply get a divorce. There is no need to be vindictive towards the guy as he didn't rape his wife.

eyinjuege:
There was an emphasis on her profession in the title of the thread.
Most people take a Drs word as law and the truth, and so there is a lot of responsibility that comes with being one. As a Dr, you have to be careful not to mix your religion, or beliefs when giving advice or counselling.
As a Muslim, she has the right to belive in polygamy, and even advocate it for her fellow Muslims, but not in the position of a Dr.
I'm not sure if the poster of the thread was just being mischievous by laying so much emphasis on her profession, but if she is speaking as a Dr, that is a wrong approach, and many dispassionate colleagues of hers will tear her solution of curbing STIs to pieces.

she wasn't providing medical advice and definitely wasn't speaking as a doctor. Most people said they were expecting medical advice but were disappointed. This means know one considered her advice to be medical. Poster emphasized her profession to drive traffic.

Your reasons for calling her a cretin are not sound enough

pocohantas:
Monex is always coming to the party late

lol I know I am always late. I only check once a day and by then it's many threads with many pages filled.

this one was interesting because it gives a unique perspective into what the men and women think of polygamy (polygyny).

I enjoyed all the comments except those that insulted the doctor.

Polygamy (Polygyny) is already legal in Nigeria. I think polyandry should also be legalised for the same reasons (woman wanting to look outside etc.).

Let each one have his or her choice. This choice could depend on religion, personal preferences and other factors but let both options be available.

if a lady wants multiple husbands but can't find willing spouses then she will rest na. ditto for a guy looking for additional wives. each party has a responsibility to tell their spouses before marriage that they would wish to have additional spouses.

there are societies in the world today with some form of polyandry. Polyandry is even a way of dealing with overpopulation.

Toks2008:
Now i can see that you have a bitter soul and i will continue to pray for you.

To think what i wrote was just a joke but because you have a contrary mind set, you had to respond by using that F word which simply shows the type of background you come from.You must have a terrible upbringing to use such word. In all my years on nairaland i have never addressed anyone with that word and i hardly ever see such word used. You are indeed wasted and i pity that unfortunate man that will ever have you as his lady.

How on earth will i literally discipline you in a free world...not even in Nigeria but as i wrote,it only takes a lady with a calm and humble mind-set to catch the joke in that comment but as i wrote,i will continue to pray for you.

she has a point, you won't use the word "discipline" even if you were joking with a male.

dragunov:
How did this cretin manage to become a medical doctor?

is she a cretin because she is muslim and advocates polygamy which is allowed in her religion?

She isn't forcing her polygamy down anyone's throat.

Please tell us why you think she is a cretin and does not deserve to be a medical doctor.

pocohantas:
LOL. What exactly is your point. You like or nah?

like what? sarcasm? I enjoy it tbh

pocohantas:
REAL MAN?

That's the word some ladies and guys use to blackmail you, into being who they want or doing what they want from you.

"Real Man" or "Real Woman" are nonsensical terms at best and manipulative at worst.

Define:"Real Man" - A word that has no meaning whatsoever, save for being a pseudo-alias for some fantasies in a girl's head.

blingxx:
September 7... the day 2pac got shot

same here

madridsta007:
Stay strong Bro. Women are (not) scum. Speak to someone, please. A therapist or something. You don’t have to go through this. Mothers should teach their daughters that a no means no.

Who invented sarcasm sef

highqueen:
I'm telling you!
A man baths his child, woow!! he's so caring.
really?what the Bleep is wrong in a man bathing his child??

not because the action is worthy of praise but because the action is not common.

Same with seeing a woman fixing her car or staying with a broke boyfriend or taking uncommon financial obligations

Mynd44:
Well actually, its her body and she can decide not to have any children sef.

The flip side is that it is his life, he can decide to walk out of the marriage to go have more kids.

These things shouldn't be binary. Childbirth isn't easy and a lot of women after going through one dont want or are scared to have another and they should not be blackmailed into it. But women should also not blackmail men into staying in a marriage where she has refused to have more and he refused.

A better solution is surrogacy. Her eggs, his sperm and someone else (paid or whatever the arrangement is) carries the baby to term. Everyone is happy.

Childbirth does a lot of things to women, a lot of women have to stop their careers, have to give up dreams, have to watch their body go through (sometimes irreversible) change so please do not blame them for not wanting it.

But is it selfish? Of course it is. But is it wrong? No.

Wisdom !!!

Strikethem:
Nobody is talking of that oga, the man is just talking of his experience. Why are you taking it personal? You called him paedophile, he raped your sister or family member?

abi o I just tire for the guy

lx3as:
APC just got the most lucrative offer out there! A big inroad that guarantee lots of votes for Buhari in that state and neighbouring C. Rivers next year.

A friend of mine in Akwa Ibom said they are actually moving en masse to APC as the party guarantee Akwa Ibom people opportunity to produce the next Senate President, tired of being in an unorganised opposition and an opportunity for Ibiobios to produce the state Governor next year.

isnt Udom Ibibio ?