₦airaland Forum

MS247:




I hope the Man pays her reasonable allowance outside upkeep

You must make full house wife very very happy

Go to Gulf countries like Qatar and see how many house maid they get for their wife, their wife shop all evening for big brands, LV , Gucci Prada

.

She doesn't have to want the things you want.
Those are your own demons to deal with. Love of Money has warped the minds of your ilk in Nigeria.

mariahAngel:
She should just say she's not ambitious.
I mean, she's a (wedding) photographer that doesn't even require much time and energy.

Boredom is waiting for her around the corner.
Only she should not turnaround to blame the man later.

Dey try read content before you comment. No be every time you go be reactor.

Zonefree:
Spirit husband is a term devised by African women. They always use that word in order not to take responsibility of not attracting men for marriage.

Vqrious nations haave their own name/nomenclature for it. Some call it incubus (succubus for spirit-wives)

Basically it exists.

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

We are in Africa where respect and value is tied to your age and how much you spend.
If your parents are still alive, what have they done to address the situation?

Glad to know you pray, the scripture is simply being fulfilled;

Matt.10.34 - "Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword.
Matt.10.35 - For I have come to "set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law';
Matt.10.36 - and "a man's enemies will be those of his own household.'
Matt.10.37 - He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.
Matt.10.38 - And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me.
Matt.10.39 - He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it.

Luke.14.26 - "If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.
Luke.14.27 - And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.

Fuckyoumod:
Yes, Yemi is beautiful and famous with good banging body.
She get money yes, but like it or not, she be evening news paper. Yemi done expire!

Nothing remain for that body again.
At this level, only gold diggers would settle for her. The beauty and sweetness of a lady is in her youth, 18 - 25 years. Yet, that gender won't listen.

Young girls my advice is simple, if you plan on getting married, marry early. Don't waste away your sweetness and youthfulness. forget and stop the plenty shakara, settle down and thank me later.

But if you don't intend to get married, please don't let anybody pressure you into marriage. You don't need it.

Just they enjoy your life dey go. Nothing do you.
But I hope you don't join the men are scum gang, motivational speaker for young girls and feminist movement??

Marriage is not for everybody.

And who decided she has expired?
Some of you just say the meanest stupidest vilest things because you think you can get away with it behind your little phones/devices with your little data subscription.

You obviously assert that her value is tied to the age she marries but you've only successfully and unfortunately unwittingly exposed your naivity about the human anatomy and physicgnomy.

Your ancestors and society miseducated you with the inadequacy of their knowledge and limitation of their generation/age.
Yet you who by virtue of this information and artificial intelligence age should have the spiritual, scientific, emotional, psychological , sociological etc advantage but have refused to develop and instead to remain crude and primitive in your under-developed cerebral and spiritual capacity!

She has given a very valid reason why she will not be pressured into marriage. You should worry about your own expiration in whatever relationship you are in and the choices you have made with your life.

OLAADEGBU:
He said that Nigeria's population remains the greatest asset the nation wields in the broader mission to become one of the largest economies in the world.

God help us accomplish this.
Also, let's cooperate with government for pur collective good.

Crime only pays for a short time but destroys the lives of others and our future.
Let's do things right and at the right time and we all read the dividend and benefits and collective prosperity, including our posterity!

[quote author=blamingthedevil post=126863987][/quote]I pray we get our data collection and data bank right.
The quality of our data bank and data collection and analysis is pivotal to the effectiveness of govt policies and monitoring and curbing corruption and ultimately our collective Prosperity.

God's grace and favor and wisdom be with these one and with this administration and with us all in Jesus name. Amen.

If the child of Grace is privy to such divine heritage as Jacob and the Jews had because of God's Covenant with the Fathers of Faith, HOW MUCH MORE A CHILD OF GRACE because of God's Covenant with Jesus Christ, His Only Begotten/Beloved and Precious Son? Selah

lavylilly:

No wonder you ain't got a woman.

Women are territorial in nature know this and have peace ✌️.

He obviously doesn't need one yet.
When he finds the right one, he will cleave from his mom. And be conjoined to her.

When God honors a man or woman for serving him, he blesses them with children of Grace.
God is faithful to His Word and His Ways. All over the bible/scripture we see this repeat pattern in the lives of the Fathers and Mothers of Faith, from generation to generation.

Abraham believed God and it was counted to him as righteousness. When God tested his faith and it proved to be genuine, God made a covenant with him to make him the Father of many nations. Isaac his beloved son was raised to walk like his father. He was the perfect son. However Isaac gave birth to Esau and Jacob who were not close to Abraham and seemed not to have had the same relationship with God as Isaac did. But simply by virtue of being the seeds of Abraham, they were partakers in the Covenant and Blessing God had made with Abraham and their faith Isaac. (Genesis 26-33)

Esau did not even value his birth right because he did not understand the value of the covenant his father had with God. He seemingly didn't have a relationship with God.
Jacob on the other hand valued the Covenant and Blessing attached to the birth right. Perhaps simply because he was covetous, perhaps because his mother whom he seemed to be closer to had shared the value with him. He like wise did not seem to have a relationship with God.
Esau and Jacob were simply Chuldreb of Grace, by virtue of their grand father Abraham and their father Isaac. Whether they knew it or not, whether they served God or not, they were privy to the covenant of Blessing that their Grand parents and parents had suffered laboriously for. They inherited the Good Gifts of God without having to work for it.

God, as seen all over the scrioture and in reality, is Faithful to His Word and His Ways.
God's Covenant of Blessing is too precious to cast to swine where it is not valued. And it is too sacred to be commit to the wrong hands. God's name is too Holy to be profaned.
Jacob inherited the eternal spiritual blessing because he coveted it and valued it.
And when the time was right God orchestrated the situations that will make him finally know Him personal and have a relationship with him like Isaac his father did. Like Abraham his Grand father did.
On his journey to escape from Esau, Jacob eventually came to Luz where he encountered God and renamed Bethel because there he finally knew the God of Fathers and also made a covenant to serve Him.


Decades later, He would finally inherited the eternal blessing when he encountered the angel of God and wrestled with him all night till he received his promise.
Then God gave him a new name- Israel because he had prevailed with God and Man.
God became the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.

Jacob's story is a very relatable one.
Most of us born into Christian homes are either going to be like Jaob or like Esau. Yet God says Jacob he loves, Esau he hates.
By virtue of our parents being Christians who served God (not just church-goers), we are born to inherit God's blessing because our parents are in a covenant with God.
However, like Esau, some of us do not know or do not value the eternal blessing we are born into. We trivialise our faith. We are even ashamed of our heritage. We want to be like others. We want to do things our own way. We choose material blessings over our spiritual blessings.

We are naturally gifted with gifts others do not have. We find ourselves under a divine protection that things others do and get destroyed, we either don't do them at all or we do them and get away unscathed.
We find ourselves endued with leadership skills yet often we run away from leadership positions.

Until we come to our Bethel experience, we may not understand ourselves and we may continue to live outside the covenant of God for our lives. We may find ourselves with so much potentials, yet living unfulfilled lives.
I pray we come to the knowledge of our Inheritance as Children of Grace. I pray we understand that what others are searching a their lives for, pur parents suffered to inherit this divine blessing for us. Some of our parents sacrificed so much material blessings for the spiritual blessing. Some of them suffered shame in the hands of family members. Some sacrificed the lucrative jobs to serve God. Some sacrificed their lives to secure this eternal blessing for us.
Until we ourselves come into this personal encounter and relationship with God, He can not trust us to commit into our hands the weightier things.
May we not continue to run around in circles in Jesus name. Amen.

Have you encountered Children of Grace that have encountered God and have Personal relationship with God? They are exceptional beyond measure.
They are sure of who they are in Christ.
They are Problem solvers and Solution Providers.
They are trail-blazers in spiritual things and in their communities.
They are Inventors and innovators.
They are Great Parents and Siblings and friends.
They are Great followers and leaders who are blessings to work with.
They naturally know what's right and what's wrong and they always seem to make the right decisions.

Are you a Child of Grace?
Have you met one?
Are you raising one?
Would you like to be one?

May the Grace of our LORD Jesus Christ, the Love of God and the Sweet Fellowship of the Holy Spirit, be with us now and for ever.
Amen and Amen.

OmugwoAunty:
Nairaland, please what should I do?

I gave birth 9 months ago and for some reason, my mom never expressed interest in visiting me and my child. She is a new wife now and I heard from some family members that when she wanted to come, her new husband said ‘your daughter has other people around, why are you worrying yourself’.

I did not take it personally at all. My mother has never been a dependable person. Me and my mom still talk everyday and my child is always on her status. This is her ONLY grandchild.

My mom’s elder sister’s (my aunty) youngest child is moving to my area. My aunty said that she’ll visit me during the move, and come and hold baby. She reached out to my mom and even told my mom that if they plan it, they can visit me together. My mom and my aunty are VERY close. I even consider my aunty my second mom in a way.

Suddenly, my mom starts calling me, saying she wants to plan her visit. I say okay. But with work and everything, my aunty will get here before her. She started telling me not to let my aunty into my house, saying that my aunty is a husband snatcher etc. she said my aunty will destroy my home. I tell her I don’t care about that. She started calling their mutual friends and telling them to tell me that my aunty is a husband snatcher. I did not fall for that.

Frustrated, she called my aunty and said that the truth is that my husband is uncomfortable. She said that MY husband is not from our town and that my husband’s people don’t like visitors. She said that I did not tell her about this out of respect.

My aunty called me and was apologizing, saying that she did not know. I responded and said that this is a lie. I even put my husband on the phone. Here’s my mistake - I sent her a screenshot showing my mom saying that she’s a husband snatcher and that’s why I should not let her into my home.

My aunty and I now agreed that we should let peace reign and that she won’t visit. She said she will still like to see me and we can meet somewhere. MATTER SUPPOSE TO END.

My mom decided to bring my aunty husband into this. She told my auntys husband that his wife is not respecting my husband’s wishes. My auntys husband now sent her my screenshot saying that he knows the real reason and that your child doesn’t even support you.

The screenshot has shattered my mom. She feels betrayed. My siblings who live with my mother are calling me a betrayer. I want to salvage the relationship between my siblings and I, not so much my mother. I have not spoken to any of them since the screenshot.

What do I do? How do I approach this.

Wisdom is profitable to direct.
Never make decisions out of anger or to spite another.
You have driven a wedge between your Mon and aunt.
I'll suggest you explain the situation to the elder in the family they both respect.

nairalanduser23:
I am tired of my wife's quarrelsome behaviour which I think she reserves for me. I can be having a honest conversation with her and out of nowhere it will lead to a quarrel with her. It surprises me.

Strange enough, I have observed her communication with neighbours, work colleagues and she knows how to compose herself but when it is me even a funny comment can upset her. Even when I tell her I didn't mean her negative interpretation of a comment, she will still insist on her negative interpretation.

She sometimes talks to me in a way that seems unfriendly to the point that I desire her talking to me the way she talks to outsiders. I have talked to her about it but it is not helping matters. She acts like she is not ware of her tone but there is a stark difference between how she talks to me and other people.

I earn far more than her and take care of the house bills so money is not an issue. I feel like I am the only one proactive about peace in the marriage while she is care-free.

How can I deal with this?

Where does one start?
If you both married in a church, please seek counselling.
If you both have elders She respects or looks up to- have them talk to her.

Prov.25.24 - It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop, Than in a house shared with a contentious woman.

naptu2:
Differ = disagree.

1) There was a crisis in these local governments and I brokered peace.

2) There was no crisis in these local governments.


https://dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/differ

He meant ti use "defer". They're homophones.

Pastor Chisom Nwankwo
Sun 5th Nov, 2023
1Kgs.5.4 - But now the LORD my God has given me rest on every side; there is neither adversary nor evil occurrence.

Matt.11.28 - Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Rest is state of cessation of struggle, not lack of activity. Activities are carried out with ease. Even when the undesired occurs, the fortitude to bear it is given.
It means peace of mind. Not rest from work nut rest in work (depending on God's grace). It is God's promise to every child of God.

1Kgs.8.56 - "Blessed be the LORD, who has given rest to His people Israel, according to all that He promised. There has not failed one word of all His good promise, which He promised through His servant Moses.

Causes of Unrest
1. Wars
2. Adversaries
3. Evil occurrences (satanically engineered, natural disasters, soul-burden (mind, emotion, will).

Dimensions of Rest
1. Spiritual (rest from sin, demonic operations.
2. Physical (health, finance, education, family).
3. Personal, family, church, community, nation.

Tips For Rest On Every Side
1. God (Word, Prayer)
2. Wisdom, Knowledge and Undersyanding.
3. Humility and Righteousness.

Wisdom to know what we cannot change. Wisdom for academics, to study and understand and be prepared as we ought to.

There is a time line for rest. Ecclesiastical 3
Before the rest, there is a time to fight.
Solomon experoenced rest because David had fought. Before Jehoshaphat found rest on all sides, God had fought for them.

There is a time to sow and time to harvest.
Time to study and then time to rest.
For businessmenTime for diligent and faithful and hardworking. And time for rest.
For young, use the strength to fight now.
For elders, God is a God of second chance, we should not lose hope.
Our nation needs rest through advocacy, though social responsibilities to give our nation rest. We should not leave it to politicians. We should speak against evil and continue to pray.

2Chr.20.29 - And the fear of God was on all the kingdoms of those countries when they heard that the LORD had fought against the enemies of Israel.
2Chr.20.30 - Then the realm of Jehoshaphat was quiet, for his God gave him rest all around.

Conclusion
Since the fall of Adam, man became restless.contrary to God's plan.
The ultimate rest is in eternity with God, the blessed hope of the believer. No one should miss this blessed promise.

The desire to rest on earth has made many compromise and jeopardise their eternal rest. God in His Mercy continues to intervene to restore man into His rest through Christ.
Let's be careful and have the overall perspective of our eternal rest in Christ Jesus.

Nwaokunkpara:
. RUBBISH 🤔

Are you angry with God or with yourself?

MrColdsweat:
There are over 2000 religions on earth but it's only you Christian dummies that go about threatening people with hell.

Why do you feel threatened when it speaks of what you claim not to believe in?

It only seems like a threat because you're on the other side.
It is a Blessing when you are in Christ.

Police (in a sane society) is only a threat to law breakers. But comfort to law-abiding citizens.

Truth is whether you believe it or not, it does not change the Truth from being True. You only delay your salvation and peace of mind as long as you keep hardening your heart to the gospel.

MrColdsweat:
Oga stop threatening people on the internet.

Have you asked yourself, what if it's not a threat but the Truth?

The Message of the season is clear.

With the financial crises presently ravaging Nigeria, have you paid a close attention to what the Spirit is saying?

For a Time the Prosperity Gospel has been very prosperous in Nigeria. Majority of churches and believers have been serving Mammon and not God.

The LORD of the Harvest sent His labourers to the church but we rejected them for the enticing gospel of money, deceptively called Prosperity Gospel which crept into the Nigerian church.

The Prosperity Gospel is so enticing to the ears that it blinds even the most pious Apostles, Prophets, Pastors and their flock of believers because, "Who no like better ting?"

As long as we are still in this physical bodies/flesh of ours, we are bound to continually face the temptations of Lust of the Eyes, Lust of the Flesh and Pride of Life.
We desire money and the good things money can buy.
Especially when others seem to be acquiring these good things of life and it seems you are not.
And especially now more than ever when the prices of commodities are skyrocketing and people are desperate for money.
We keep hearing the testimonies of Miracle Money.
Don't get me wrong, I don't believe there's any thing God cannot do. However, we must discern spirits and know what the Word of God says. And ask ourselves the imoortant questions.

What is the Gospel?
Rom.3.23-24 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified freely by His grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus.

John.3.16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

Matt.6.33 - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

What does the scripture say about Acquisitions and Money (Covetousness)
Luke.12.15 - And He said to them, "Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses."

What does Jesus Christ himself teach about Money?

Matt.6.24 - "No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.

Luke.16.10 - He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.
Luke.16.11 - Therefore if you have not been faithful in the unrighteous mammon, who will commit to your trust the true riches?

What does the Word of God say about Suffering?
2Cor.4.16 - Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day.
2Cor.4.17 - For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.

1Pet.5.10 - But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you.

What does the Word of God say about Prosperity?
3John.1.2 - Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.

2Cor.9.10 - Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have sown and increase the fruits of your righteousness,
2Cor.9.11 - while you are enriched in everything for all liberality, which causes thanksgiving through us to God.

Prov.10.22 - The blessing of the LORD makes one rich, And He adds no sorrow with it.

Eph.1.3 - Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.

How do you know you're serving Mammon?

1. When your prayers are centered on financial/material blessing rather than, spiritual blessing, soul-winning and God's kingdom.
2. When you don't miss Tithes but you are not a giver outside church.
3. When you believe money can buy God's grace and blessings.
4. When you can't go to church whenever you're broke.
5. When you don't want to hear about suffering or poverty but only prosperity. Even though the bible says time and chance happens to all man.
6. When during your marital vows you said "for richer, for richer..."
7. When you are more interested in worldly gains than making heaven.
Just to mention few.

Several marriages are crumbling presently simply because the marriage was built on money and financial security.

By the time these financial storm goes away, how many believers will still be going to church?
How many marriages will still stand?
How many will be better through this challenges and how many will become worse?

By God's Grace, Jesus Christ is delivering and rebuilding His church and the Gates of hell will not prevail against it and against us. And as the Lord of the Harvest is raising His labourers, He will make us both suitable Harvest and suitable laborers in whom He is well pleased in Jesus name.
And may this translate to evident transformations thqt glorify God, in our individual lives, homes, churches, schools and dear Country Nigeria in the Mighty name of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour. Amen

Handsomejok:
Yes for 3 children aside from the 15k I will also be paying their rent, school fees for 2 children one is my stepdaughter plus Nepa bills I don't think that 15k is small

Have you met with any marriage counsellor to help fox your marriage?

bukatyne:
The claim that 'most Nigerian women are trained to believe their husbands would be sole providers in marriage' if assumed true is only half of the equation.

Most Nigerian women are also trained to believe that they are solely responsible for housework.

So if you want the weight of sole provision taken off men, I also hope you want the weight of sole domestic chores taken off women.

Sure. As long as both patners agree on the roles they play in the marriage.
No one size fits all. The roles may differ for each couple. It's a matter of mutual understanding.

oglalasioux:
Women see sex as a commodity. They give it to the person that pays.

Passion is every thing for a human being.
The source of her passion is dead. For many (male and female), that's money.
A dead-beat husband can kill a woman's passion fast.

Most Nigerian women were raised to believe their husband will be the sole provider in the marriage. And some men actially promised and assured their wives this. And words mean a lot to a woman.
So when for whatever reason tables turn and the Man isn't providing and she finds herself having to provide, the lady feels cheated, frustrated and out of her comfort zone.

If this festers for long beyond the threshold she can handle, the passion dies.
She may begin to reconsider her loyalty and might seek sex elsewhere especially in this generation where the fear of God is just a religious statement to so many.
We really need to take this weight and load off men. Parents need to train their daughters to be prepared to work. The irony is how you spend so much to send your daughters to school only to inculcate the virus of not working or providing in marriage.

God will continue to expose and deliver Nigerians from some of our cultural and societal norms that are negative and teach us the better and appropriate way.

modernWays:
Since a man is expected to take care of his wife and children in this part of the world, it is only logical for every female to marry at least who can comfortably provide basic things for the family.

Don't insult the girl, just don't get marry when you are broke because no matter how you try to explain, society will frown at you the moment you can't provide for your family.

The challenge here is we all have different definitions of Poverty.
As she stated, a poor man to her is some one who can't provide what her father can provide for her. Which agree is fair.

However some girls/women consider any man who isn't living lavishly as poor.

YourKarma:
2 years ago, I developed a software and used the SaaS business model to market it. Currently I have around 2300 subscribers and growing. The least subscription amount is $25 monthly and the software fetches me upwards to $8k monthly. This is aside my regular software development job in Canada, my web design agency and my dog breeding business in Owerri, Imo state (more of a hobby). If our youths will look inwards, they can make good money without fraud but they tend to think there's no other way aside fraud

Thank you!

Ahmed0336:
Make I laugh those that have been sabotaging government efforts in stabilizing the Naira and are usually the first to post any negativity regarding the Naira

The ignorance of our youths is decriable.
Many people are into business and forex and transactions that are killing the Naira every day, yet they are blaming the FG for what they are responsible for.

Some are actually ignorant of the consequences od their actions. While some are wickedly profiting off destroying the economy for their selfish gains and agenda.

But God is faithful. Karma also comes with receipts.

naptu2:
Alternatives.

Pictures = NNS Prosperity.

Thanks for the insight. You clearly know your onions.
I've heard all sorts of arguments as to why it is needed but with your points, it is clearly not needed or justified.

We know NASS has approved it but it has not yet been acquired. Let's hope it can be divested into more worthwhile needs and interventions.

Obviously this is an avenue some Cabals have been using to syphon our common wealth into their accounrs. Proforce might actually be complicit in this issue if they're the contractor.

eliwa47:
This country is in total mess, at the end of the day, he will be discharged and acquitted
Corruption rules!!!

Let's watch as the story unfurls.
Nigerians are not ready for Government to really fight corruption. Cos the oxen that will be gored will touch almost everybody.

Grabs pop corn.

wittywriter:
FTC dedicated to nigerian youths still earning a living legitimately
Going by the ways and glaring reckless corrupt practices of the present political leaders it's obvious many young people won't see anything wrong indulging in crime related acts to survival.
Sadly unfortunate.

Wittyness

It's a blessing to be legit.
Time has a way of revealing and justifying things.

This is good news.
When evil is left unpunished, it festers till it becomes normal. I hope more or our leaders/politicians also get their due jail term.

Hopefully with more cases like this, our youths will begin to see that rhere is dishonor in fraud and lawless living. And ehile is provides some initial financial freedom, it's however destructive to others and does not end well.

Hopefully they will start seeing more legit people who are living responsible and comfortable lives and raising good families.

akinsmail51:
973- Abu Hurairah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported, the Prophet (may Allaah's peace and blessings be upon him) said

"A woman is married for four reasons: for her wealth, for her class, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, may your hand be rubbed in the dust!"

Related by Bukhari and Muslim.

Explanation by Shaykh Muhammad ibn Saalih Al Uthaymin

The purposes of people regarding marriage are different. Women are often married for these four reasons: for her wealth, class, beauty or piety.

First: "For her wealth."

For example, an old woman is married for her big fortune because she will die sooner or later.

If she is childless, he will take half of her wealth or all of it according to a weak point of view.

Second: "For her class."

Tribes are different from each other regarding superiority and inferiority.

A man who is inferior can marry from a tribe superior to his in order to upgrade himself.

So, people will say that he married this one to upgrade himself and his children.

Third: "For her beauty."

The beautiful woman is married in spite of her low class and being penniless.

Fourth: "For her religion."

This refers to the religious woman, especially a knowledgeable one.

The Muslim has to marry a woman who helps him to obey Allah.

The religious woman helps her husband to obey Allah and she is obedient to her husband.

Some religious women can choose another wife for her husband if she notices his desire for her.

If she is not religious, she will make troubles if her husband has dreamt of marrying another woman.

A religious woman is an honest one. When her husband is absent, she will not betray him.

Also, she will care for his wealth, children and family.

The Prophet said,

"Select the pious," meaning to look upon her as a prize you want to win.

"The pious" meaning the religious one.

One should know that if they follow this advice, this religious woman will turn out to be the most beautiful in one's eyes even if she is only slightly beautiful.

Beauty is not the only criterion.

Sometimes the woman looks very beautiful, but Allah makes her look ugly in her husband's view.

And he hears people talk about her beauty, but, in fact, she is not beautiful because hearts are controlled by Allah.

So, if one follows this advice, he will be in good state because he followed the Prophet's advice when he told him to select the pious.

There are some benefits in this Hadith:

1. This is a reference that men's most desirable marriage purposes revolve around these four: wealth, class, beauty and piety.

2. There is no problem if anyone marries a woman for her wealth because the Prophet approved this but he urged to marry the religious woman.

3. There is no problem if the man marries a woman for her class to upgrade himself and his children.

4. The woman can be married for her beauty. So, there is no problem if she is married for her beauty.

Maybe the man likes beauty and cannot stand looking at a woman who is not as men are so different in this respect.

5. A woman may be married for her piety even if this is the only purpose.

6. The best one of these purposes is to marry a woman for her piety as he said,

"Select the pious, may your hand be rubbed in the dust."

7. Everyone should follow the Prophet's advice. However, nowadays, most people marry a woman for her beauty and others for her wealth and class. Are these the only purposes?

No, the proof is in the abovementioned Hadith.

Source: THE BOOK OF MARRIAGE PART 1 FROM THE EXPLANATION OF BULUGH AL-MARAAM by Al-AIlaamah Muhammad Bin Saleh Al-'Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him)

You don't think Procreation is an important reason to marry?
Just surprised how raising a family together is not on this list.

9jvirgin:
The only way out of the problems we are facing as a continent is to have a man like Peter Obi rule the people with sincerity and integrity. Without Peter Obi, Nigeria cannot rise as a nation.

And this is why Peter Obi lost and may keep losing.
Until him and his fanatics realise that the deliverance of this country is not in the hands of any man but in God's hands. And God can use anyone to achieve his purpose.

Samantha124:
The bottom line is that I didn't use any generalization anywhere.

And it's not my fault that Nigerian men in SA have a taste in certain SA women.

Even luminouz admitted to trying to corrupt the SA lady by attempting to pay her like a prostitute, but she turned the money down.

Which proves the point, she was one of the exceptions.

Lionessza6:
Exactly my point. Relationships centred around money are always shaky and there's always some resentment somewhere from the partner who is "oppressed" with the material staff. I notice that a lot of Nigerian men are scared of taking their wives to much more liberal countries where they will be earning and co-proving with him , I believe this has a lot to do with the woman now having an equal say on issues involving the family , she can nolonger be dictated to now . This will obviously wreck the esteem and identify of the man as he has always believed that his woman is his possession and not partner in the marriage. And ofvourse the marriage will be up in flames as he can nolonger identify himself in the marriage, his whole identity is put in question in the marriage. Money alone cannot build relationships and respect.

QED
Aptly said.

Samantha124:
So it's okay for the op to lie by saying most say ladies go for Nigerian men, but now it becomes an issue when I tell the bitter truth by saying it's mostly SA prostitutes who go for them?

Can you see that you're being biased?

You were right by saying "Most" however, you made it seems like all SA ladies that got involved with Nigerians were gold-diggers and prostitutes. You even argued when someone here (luminous) said he dated an SA lady who was not a gold-digger.
So you're probably right that Most SA babes that date Nigerian men are gold-diggers and pros but the point is, it is not All.