₦airaland Forum

jasent2020:
Thanks alot bro.. This really help. Yes I have money to spend your get the knowledge, so I will to give it my all. Sorry for replying late, I have OT been online for sometime now.

You are welcome. All the best as you make us proud

gowonmaharajah:
you don't sound like one.
my guess could be wrong though

#Laughs. Dude, is there a particular way Nigerians 'sound' on Nairaland?

But you are wrong though; I am full blooded Naija and yeah, I also reside in Nigeria, bro

gowonmaharajah:
you surely ain't a Nigerian, are you?and if you are by chance, you sure don't reside here.
am I right,sir?

Hmmm, Why would you say that?

I wonder why most folks are bashing him, telling him to have stashed it in a bank. It is in this same Nairaland most folks usually break their Piggy bank (a.k.a Kolo) at the end of the year or when the need for spare money arise.

I also have my own Piggy bank where I just stash little cash remaining from the day's hustle or small cash gifts given to me.

I don't know how the hell I landed on this page but it has been nothing short of laughter and fun

The story about the guy who waited for his girlfriend to return after going out with a male neighbour and leaving him all alone got me laughing hard and at the same time very mad. I mean, WTF, dude?!

The other dude a.k.a "Captain Rent-a-bae".

Oh Lord, is that they don't read other guys' story on this thread. I feel sorry for the men of this generation and the mini-simps we are grooming.
One thing is for sure, my son will swallow the Redpill once he clocks 12months; I ain't taking no chances

Humanoid01:
If I were in your shoes, I'd pull them off 'cause they wouldn't fit.

Not if they were a pair of J's. Well, If you are sneakers person. Like I said, it's in the past

Humanoid01:
If you have no regrets for what you did, then it makes no difference emphasizing on when it happened.

I did it just to make it known that it happened years ago and I have grown past that and wouldn't do such now or in the future but I was happy I got my own pound of flesh.
I wouldn't want to go into details but if you were in my shoes then, you'd probably do worse instead of letting it go.

I kind of made a colleague have issue with his girlfriend and they broke up and in less than a week we started dating (she did the asking out).
Please, this happened back in secondary school; We were childish and foolish, but do I regret what I did? I'd say "No", because it was some sort of revenge for some hurtful words he said to me.

I seriously hate how I sound whenever I play the record. That's why I hardly do voice notes on social media. I don't understand why I sound like Vin Diesel or Idril Elba when I speak but when I send voice notes, I sound like Adam Sandler with his nasal whatever effects.

Ryan03:
I didn't see it as an insult. People are different, what sounds like an insult to you might not be to someone else. Saying someone's food is salty doesn't seem like an insult to me, mothers are humans too, I dont see why we can't talk about them like everyone else

Thank you for this; I don't get why the dude is trying to paint his mom like a perfect being that cannot be criticized. If someone says that about my mother's food, I'll definitely not be happy about it but I cannot see it as an insult (the way the girl told her man).

YINKS89:
baba Ill only respond to the last paragraph for me I'll say my mum is the best and if am fortunate to find atleast 50% of my mum in my wife then am good to go

You just repeated what I said. My mother is also the best just like you claimed yours is too but I am saying you guys over-hype it like they are gods and can never make mistakes. Yes, they did very good in bringing you up and all but doesn't still make them perfect.
So you mean to tell me all the food you have eaten from your mother's pot are 100% perfect or your mother has never done any thing that irritated you? Please be sincere

She told me her ex just out of no where started chatting her up again and he has been on her issue ever since, even though she has rejected his calls severally. She was trying to play the trustworthy gf but what she didn't know is that I never believed her.

One day, I paid her a visit her and while going through her pictures I saw a screenshot of where the ex was telling her that he misses her, especially the sex they had before the breakup. She was in the kitchen when I saw the picture, I just calmly told myself I was gonna strap up hence forth, no more skin diving.

I was just too hörny that day to be bothered about the picture. I didn't say a word to her after that day. I just intentionally got her angry one day and while she was busy screaming I just told her about the picture I saw and that I was done with her. She denied having any thing to do with her ex and I said may be not now but soon I am sure. So it is better we save ourselves the trouble.
She kept on begging and crying and even swearing that nothing happened but I wasn't having any of it.

I ended it because sooner or later it will definitely happen because:
1. She likes sex a lot and I am damn sure a little teasing from her ex and they'd smash for sure.

2. From the chat, when he mentioned something about the sex they had before the break up, she just replied "Hmmm u are nt serious". If she was serious, she'd have rebuked him and definitely blocked his number at least. But I guess she also missed his sculling

Brother, women can be cunny but you should train yourself to be at least a step ahead of them because they are already a step ahead of you. Nairaland has really opened my eyes to one of their many lies and deceits.

Mehn, that guy is so immature- how can a grown-ass man just agree with what ever his mom tells him. Even after the girl tried to wave the issue aside he still kept on riding on it. I guess the girl dodged a bullet because all I see is a Momma's boy who can't think for himself.

As for the lady, I feel that wasn't just the appropriate time to say such, I mean you just started out ruining a good morning after the 'man-boy' told you how exited his family were and also looking forward to seeing her again. Even though she said it with no intent to insult, that wasn't just the appropriate time to bring up such issue.

Almost everyone here claims their mom is the best, but still doesn't mean she can't put too much salt in a food due to one reason or another; not all mothers are great cooks abeg. Una (we Nigerians) too dey over-hype this mother issue like they are gods on earth and can never be wrong.

Garrieveryday:
I used to complain of eating Garri everyday as my moniker implies not knowing I was in paradise. Today, where is the Garri?

;DLmao

jasent2020:
number 2 is my dream.i am so much interested in learning it.op can you recommend how and where i can start?and can i be a self thought programmer?please i really need help.

True, it is very lucrative but forget how people just say the word "programmer" like it is just like eating a piece of cookie. It takes months, probably years depending on how serious and committed you are to become one. You cannot just read and relax thinking you are done, you have to keep updating yourself. One thing I can assure you is this: you will be frustrated once you get started, but will you push on or give up is the issue.

To get started, go to the website w3schools.com and select the language you want. I'd recommend Python or Javascript because these are the top two PL as of April 2020 but I'd advice you go for the one you find easier to understand. You can download PDFs from numerous websites and you can also follow some YouTube programmers and tutors like Clever Programmer, Ben Awad, CS Dojo, Jacobowski etc.

If you have spare money for online bootcamp, you can try Codecademy or Udemy or may be you can try the ones here in Nigeria with reputable names that will drill you till you become good but they are usually expensive.

PS: Research first before you make a decision, because most people I know dropped along the way because they couldn't keep up due to poor research and because they heard this or that PL pays higher and all they are after is the money. What I am trying to say is, do the one you fancy the most because you like it, not because of how much it pays.
Also it is better to be a master of one than to be a learner in all I.e learn a language and build yourself on it rather than trying to learn all the languages there is and end up with nothing.

My God, some people are heartless. How do you sleep at night with things like this locked inside of you.

The females aren't left out, because most 'heartless' guys here were once keeping it 100% before they were broken and dumped.

In my last relationship, my gf wasn't that full in front (ßoobs) and she had a friend who had these amazing set of standing jugs with crazy nips which my then gf caught me twice staring at lustfully and this got her worried. Though her ßoobs are nice but not not as big as I wanted in size (Yeah, I am a big fan of good looking ßoobs). But I always tried to make her know hers are the best ever.

But by God, I always fantasized about that her friend's set of jugs and what it would be like to have them in my mouth but I had to suppress it and stay away from her friend and I don't regret I did.

Another one was when I was keeping another female friend as contingency plan which I only told her was a friend I met when I went for a relation's wedding. After we broke up, I just initiated the plan called 'Project Ironhand'.
Guy's always have a plan B, because the females usually have theirs even though they tell you there is no other person.

I don't know why people are attacking the OP; Try to read and understand the write up first before hitting the reply button.
Nigerians have this entitlement mentality and it can be very annoying to be very honest. Some people have chosen a career path in begging because it pays big time and they have no iota of shame left in them.
For the sake of avoiding tribalistic comments, I won't mention the place. From dusk till dawn a group of abled-bodied young lads will position themselves at a particular junction and will be hailing whomsoever drives a nice looking car just to receive tokens. That is what they do all day.

I know of a man who is very very rich, but his kids are not entitled to his money. He told all of them to get a job and one of his sons took a loan from his father's company for another business start up and he paid back every penny he borrowed.

You hit a big contract, then your friends start asking for their 'share'. You win big in a lottery game and the betting agent wants his 'share'. Please stop using economy as an excuse- some people don't know how to plan and manage money. Somebody made a comment about February's valentine budget #face palm. You earn about 50k yet you have the guts to plan for Valentine. Sometimes, village people take a break but you guys will go and wake them up

The earlier we erase this mentality, the better for us all

I usually feel bad for them when I turn them down because I know the amount of courage they had to build to reveal their true feelings for me. But eh, it is better to be rejected than to be dated out of pity and be taken advantage of.
I have only been rejected once and I was the cause of it because of inexperience but since that rejection, I went home to do my assignment and till date, no lady has rejected me not because I am like Aquaman but because I study my target carefully before I go for the kill....

Mine would be when I was still an undergraduate, I called my sister, and immediately she picked she jokingly asked "What is it this time around,eh? I don't have money". I was shocked and really felt insulted.
Funny thing was that I called to say hello, nothing more. I always asked her for money directly because I felt we had a connection and since it is a sister-brother thing, I felt like it was nothing.
I was earning a little cash back then in school but it just wasn't enough, and customers weren't coming forth like before and since I also had a girlfriend (yeah, silly me).
The good thing about it was that, it spurred me to keeping pushing myself by myself and for myself. I am going to surprise her with a very expensive gift

LeoFish92:
I've always had interest in programming. Started with python. It was all interesting till I started to get deeper and it became more technical. Mhen, I can't even remember why, when and where I stopped. I just realised that for weeks, I had not watched my video tutorials. And that was how I abandoned it.

Now for a while, I've been learning web design. Html, Css, Bootstrap. Will start learning Javascript next... So far, so good, so sweet.

But my heart skips a beat anytime I remember that after Javascript, Node.js, Php or Django will come next. I hope the passion will see me through those dull moments

Good luck to you,brother. May our hard work and resilience keep us on top no matter how our codes try to frustrate us :-D.
Maybe from time to time, you should checkout the latest trends on programming and jobs; last i checked, Python and JS are like the top two in the market in terms of jobs

I am an ardent follower of Tom Traversy, Clever Programmer and Ben Awad on Youtube. You should take some time and watch their videos on YouTube.

LeoFish92:
Mhen, The boredom starts once you enter server-side.

Client-side is quite interesting. You see the results of what you are learning instantly with the changes on the UI. But you see all those server side languages eh, it takes the Grace Of God to finish that without abandoning it

Lmao. As I am typing this now, I just abandoned my laptop for a while to cool my head; Silly code has refused to run and at the same time I used the opportunity to scan and repair my system from malware and virus. I just started a new project last week Friday, now I feel like I should just leave it

4reala:
No, you don't have to call the grooms dad silly, or if its ur dad DAT behaved in such a manner, wld you like someone to call him silly

You know that saying "A man who wrestles with a pig....."? The man lost the respect i had for him when he decided to exchange words with a boy who is probably younger than his last child.

My father can never and will never behave in such a silly manner

Think about it, why would an elderly man like that, not just an elderly man but the father of the groom bring himself down to that extent. He was supposed to be seated around the high table with his kinsmen, but he abandoned what he was supposed to do and go struggle with a young lad whose job indeed was to pick the money being sprayed on the couple.

So the man deserved/deserves every insult thrown at him

4reala:
Your story right up was good, but your description of personalities, especially the grooms' was way, way wrong and awful

I don't really get you; Are you trying to say I am being one-sided by painting the groom's family as bad or you are irritated by the groom's family's behaviour?

I attended a trad wedding last year December; it was a crazy one I tell you. I was jejelly seated in the living room when I heard the clattering of irons and utensils, only for me to stand up to take a look and discovered a fight broke out between the bride's male cousin and the groom's father. OK, this was what happened:

The bride's cousin was picking the money being sprayed on the dancing couple, the silly father of the groom who was seated on the high table or what it is called, left his seat and went to confront the young boy. I said boy because the dude isn't up to 22 years. The silly father was angry because the boy was picking the money and nobody from the groom's side was picking (obviously worried he may not see his own share).

He started raising his voice at the young boy and as the lad didn't want to fall to his intimidation, he raised his voiced back at the old man and the brother to the groom stepped in and slapped the dude for 'insulting' his father, na so dude vex, carry tray hit the dude (groom's brother) back, then the real fight broke out. It wasn't funny that day but it was the first time I was watching a live entertainment because it felt like a free-for-all fight.

The groom's sister who was in charge of cake, refused to bring out the cake after the fight was settled, telling people that the wedding is over. Na so a friend to the bride vex ask am, "Are you the one getting married? Don't you dare say such. Just bring the cake out and if you want to leave, then by all means do". Another round of quarrel started that day. The groom stepped in warned his sister to behave else she won't like what is going to happen next.

I just felt bad for the bride though; her childish in-laws almost ruined her big day. She's married into a family of troublesome and childish in-laws. I just hope she can cope

Damn! So much negativity coming from nairalanders, I must say; Even some bloody hypocrites are bashing the guy and telling him he is jobless. So taking an hour or two to compose and text a loved one is now a crime?! *Spits

From my observation, it is obviously obvious most people that are bashing him were/are all heartbroken one way or another and this 'prank' just brought back memories they once had before they were dumped. It isn't his fault that you were dumped or cheated on because you dated unappreciative thots.

I was working/reading all night, and then by 7am this morning, I decided to prank my siblings with April fool's message on WhatsApp, so does that make me jobless as well? Even Mark Zuckerberg who is a geek with a little pinch of nerd and hardly has time for fun but usually take his family out from time to time, what does that make him? Gosh, I am so disappointed today - didn't expect such bad energy, especially from few known folks I respect on this platform.

You guys are so so immature and bitter, that is all. Grow up

Yancy:
Una sef. Sometimes people just need to cry out their pains, anxiety & hurt. Y'all think some folks are happy until you open them up & you will exclaim 'Jisos!!!'. They just need a shoulder or someone to cry to & one who would just tell them 'Don't worry, everything will be alright'. This time of tribulation is for the dogged. Some can't believe the lives they once knew is turned into a freaking horror movie. So from me to her 'Cry it out if it will make you feel good'.

Crying is not the problem here; why would she video herself crying and then upload it on social media. For what exactly? Isn't that a childish way to seek attention.
So, she wants us to feel emotional because she's shedding audio tears. Total BS

I am really sorry about the upbringing of most folks here; I read your story and I can't help but thank heavens for giving me the kind of parents I have.

My dad is more than Superman, like he figuratively carried the whole family on his shoulders while my mom did her job taking care of us.
The only thing I don't really like about my dad is that he adores my mother too much, like everything she says is right, no matter how we try to convince him we(my siblings and I) are right. My mom has all my dad's mumu button but it truly served us well o especially when it came to finance, my mom knows how to make good decisions.

Ever since my mom "found Christ" , I didn't found it funny. She's against all my friends, especially the females. I didn't know how to approach a girl till I turned 18-19 (with memorized lines). She killed my social status. She has embarrassed me many times around female friends because she thinks the devil sent them to destroy he son's destiny just like how Delilah was sent to destroy Samson's. Seriously, religion really turned (not brainwashed) her to something else but that was then.....but man got his status back immediately he got into the university.

This lockdown has made me focus on the issues I have with my laptop; Up almost all morning 12-7am for two days straight, trying to cleanse my system with Malware and Spyware softwares. Scared of formatting my system and losing my files but wetin man go do

Watching YouTube tutorials and other educational and entertainment channels....yes, even self-defense tutorials on YouTube.

Taking my time to wash my bathroom and toilet, keep my place in order

Idleness has started to make me remember and think about my past relationships....fvck!

But the best of it all is that; I sit down for hours trying to picture that perfect life I want, think and plan what needs to be done to achieve it.

My only regret is that I didn't buy any game console before this lockdown. I am just bored playing Soocer games on my PC and since my PC is not a high end one, there are no badass First person shooter games to install. Can anyone recommend one.
System spec: 4gb RAM,
Processor: AMD E2-1800, Radeon. Graphics 1.70Ghz.
System type: 64-bit, Windows OS

AndroBlaze:
I've not watched John Wick, but none of the other people you mentioned have a scouse accent, Chris is even Australian, though he does attempt to do a southern English accent in some movies.

My bad, I didn't delete what I wanted to post initially. I was gonna say I hate the scouse accent because they sound Scottish and Irish mixed together but I consider the standard British accent the sexiest; I love the way Idris Elba, Jason Statham and that man in John Wick speak. I also hate the way most ghetto black British speak, you know, that "grime rap" accent (Skepta and Stormzy).

So Chris is Australian?! Very difficult to tell British from Australian accent

I wonder how AY would feel if he is a Nairalander; see how folks shifted the main topic of discussion to "Accents of Nigerians in diaspora";-D

Well to me, I have no problem if you try to switch your accent when communicating with Brits or Americans but as a typical naija guy or babe, if you try to switch it when we are having a discussing, it is a big turn off for me. There's a big difference between using the right pronunciation and faking your accent it totally.

But I just love the British accent; I consider the scouse accent the sexiest, just like that Ammunition expert in John Wick: Chapter II, Alfred The Butler in Batman, Idris Elba, Jason Statham, Chris Hemsworth and many more

Experts/Experienced folks in the house should please respond to this. I am also in same situation here.

I need to know the "Things to know before purchase". I want to get nine at Alaba Market, Lagos

Hello here. I am a novice when it comes to game consoles. Please, what is hacked or jailbreak console? I am planning on getting a ps3 console and I have no idea about these terms.

Another thing is, I need games pre-installed I.e the one that do not use game CD plates but can be downloaded with HDD of at least 350gb that can contain at least 10-15 games, because the main games I need are
Uncharted(1-3)
Last of Us
Fifa(any year from 2017-2020)
COD(blacks ops2 or Modern Warfare)
Battlefield IV
God of War (ascension or III)
Crysis
Assassin's Creed(any)
Dark Souls
Metal Gun Solid IV