₦airaland Forum

My dear you're getting it all wrong, most Nigerian guys don't really fancy the concept of baby mama. But considering the mentality of Nigerian girls towards marriage nowadays, they're beginning to give it a second thought.

Ask any girl out these days, in less than a week, she needs financial support, her parents are sick, she wants to start a business but doesn't have capital, she needs money for her school fees, her birthday is next week and she wants to celebrate it...if her phone screen is cracked, changing it or getting her a new phone would be your first romantic project...etc.

This is where most guys started adopting the concept of hookups. I chat you up, you tell me your price, we negotiate, we have sex, and you go...no strings attached. You solve your problem, I solve mine. Guys could no longer afford the heavy expenses associated with having a girl friend these days.

Look around you, there are more widows than widowers, go to any church and look for women from 45 and above they're mostly widows, what's killing their husbands...stress and pressure related sicknesses such as heart attack, stroke, cardiac arrest...etc.

The only advantage of baby mama like someone said in the other thread opened by Godoverevery, is when you have a child with someone you're better than in all areas of life. That way, she can't fight you for custody of the child, cos you would have settled her and collected your kids. And about raising the child, that isn't even an issue, your sisters, female cousins, mother...etc, would gladly do that for you peacefully with zero nagging.

What you ladies should understand is that all we men are asking for is peace of mind and support in the home. Nigeria isn't funny anymore. The inflation is on another level, once you can assure a man of peace and your support towards him, the idea of baby mama would evaporate from his system.

I'm afraid that your observations are on point cos I have the same observations as well.

The most recent was my cousin brother who got married in 2020 before the lockdown, as I'm writing this we barely talk these days, even to reply WhatsApp messages na war. And when he does it's one complain or the other, ranging from how things are hard and since I'm single and an only child, I should assist him financially, to how his wife has changed, to how their one year old child consumes food like an adult... etc.

To understand him much better, I decided to put myself in his shoes. I'm a single guy, I renewed my rent last month (April) and I sat down to calculate all my monthly expenses. Data, fuel, gotv/Netflix, electricity, security, LAWMA, feeding, gas, miscellaneous...etc.

My point is if a woman comes on board that budget would tripple cos kids would be expected, she might want you to open a business for her, courtesy of your pocket, she might come with her younger sister to help out whose training and welfare would be on you, she would sometimes want you to assist her family eg, parents, siblings writing exams, school fees, rent...etc.

Now while your expenses has tripled, your income most times remains the same or even lower, you would resort to borrowing just to sustain your home, of which she won't even appreciate cos according to her, it's not enough, other men out there like you are performing much better for their families. You would live all your life working to finance the home, even your own kids would be strangers to you and love her more when she buys them Christmas clothes from the money you gave to her. They would grow up loving her as a sweet mom and vow never to see her suffer. forgetting all the sacrifices and dreams you gave up just to give them a better life. After pondering through all these, I understood my cousin's situation much better.

If I'm to be honest there's nothing special about marriage, it's more or less like bondage for men. And benefits only the women. Marriages if you have noticed have have reduced greatly, there are so many guys in their 30s and even 40s who aren't even talking about settling down. Would you blame them....of course not.

Women these days aren't helping matters. They dump the larger chunk of the financial responsibility on the man in the name of men are the head so it's his responsibility to cater for the home. But what they don't understand is God created women as a helpmeet, meaning they're there to lessen the budern of the man and not to add to it.

Open any topic here on Nairaland and talk about responsibilities in the home. More than 99% of the female replies would be that it's the job of the man and the man alone.

Women need to change such mindset, cos it has killed and drained the honey of millions of marriages.

BigYash:
Nairaland FBI don burst the mumu op If you have ever sent him money,make una report the bank account, make them block am. Make he mind dey.
Why not beg genuinely instead .. You dey cook up stories to scam people. Then, when people wen really need help come,nobody go gree look their face again. Stupid boy..

Send money kwa...only a fóol would send money to an online beggar. Whenever I come across their emotional posts on Nairaland, I'll just ignore or report it and move on. Most of them have discouraged geninue people from giving.

Girls should learn to be contended with what they have and stop being greedy. All this news of guys butchering girls in hotel rooms doesn't it scare you people?

There's nothing like a nice guy, no guy who genuinely works hard for his money would wastefully lavish it on you in the name of being nice. Nigeria is getting dangerous by the day, if a stranger starts throwing money lavishly on you, just walk away for your own safety cos he definitely has an ulterior motive.

From your posts it's obvious you clearly haven't gotten over her even though you claim to be married. She's not on Nairaland so I don't know the essence of this post.

The Lord is your strength bro, you'll get over the pain, just don't cheat on your wife.

Michelle55:
Inukwa! Tell me more, I'm interested in this part of the lecture

There isn't really much to say, cos it's an abolished practice. But girls who were subjected to it back then are the the ones suffering in silence.

I made up my mind not to marry a girl who is circumcised, after visiting my mom's village one December in Ebonyi state, during which one of my female cousins who is circumcised was narrating her ordeal to me. She told me she's not easily aroused by sex, and how that costed her her relationship.

God kept the clitoris for a reason, cutting it off isn't scriptural cos the only circumcision approved by God is that of males.

Emma2Seconds:
How you go take know say she dey circumcised or not .

Absence of clitoris shows that she's circumcised. The clitoris is that organ above the opening of her vagina, which if you rub gently she'll go gaga, if it isn't there, then she has been circumcised cos during FGM (Female genital mutilation) that's what they cut off.

Find out how much is the golf 3, raise half of the amount or almost half, then approach your mom and give her a detailed explanation about how you intend to run the business and how you feel you would be making profit, also, tell tell her how much you have on ground and you need her to help you with the remaining money so you can start the business.

She would see you as a mature person and respect the fact that you've actually raised something and would be willing to support you.

But approaching her with zero capital to talk about a business she doesn't fancy would make her see you as a child and wouldn't want to waste her hard earned money on you.

They should rot in jail. These guys have become a nuisance on our roads.

advanceDNA:
I get you now


By the way...are you saying girls with boóbs, yansh, and curves are leeches??

Nope. But any girl who spends her whole life on social media advertising her looks is certainly a leech. Cos she's obviously jobless and would need hórney guys to keep maintaining her expensive looks.

advanceDNA:
Im not saying we dont need someone special..
We all do...m saying theres no need overly go out of your way for anybody...

Im an advocate of i buy you iphone 12 ..u buy me ps5.....but how many girls around do this things...women are veey smart..they love with their head alot...before woman will collect loan at work to buy her husband car, or somethimg very expensive ...hell will freeze over....but they expect you to do heaven for them..you will find men goimg out of their way to make their woman extra comfortable just because she has he wife title.....and when they want to betray you...u will hear ..i ddnt force you....thats why theres no point going investing or doing anything too serious for any woman...at the end of the day...u are just a penís that can be changed...

Read my post again you'll understand it much better.

If you've officially dated a girl for 3 months, and she hasn't spend a dime on you it means you're with the wrong person.

I have a friend who lost his job during the covid lockdown of 2020, his girlfriend paid his rent and raised money for him to start a provision shop. Girls like that still exists out there. The problem is that we guys are looking for boobs, hips, nyash, curves and baby skin, and would ditch a decent girl for an opportunity to bed these leeches.

When you're dating a leech you can't expect her to act otherwise, she's a leech and would definitely act like one.

advanceDNA:
How will you know a girl that will value you later..

A girl that reciprocates your love and gestures values you.

A girl who sees buying you gifs as part of her own commitment values you.

A girl who uses her money to throw you a surprise birthday party for you values you.

A girl who always have your back whenever you're financially down values you.

A girl that listens to you and go out of her way to make you happy values you.

A girl who values, appreciates and is contended with the little you give to her values you.

A girl who can say no to the proposal of a guy who is more handsome and financially stable than you values you.

A girl who can't bring herself down to cheat on you values you.

One of the greatest problem most guys make is falling for the wrong girl and forcing/begging her to love them. Truth is any girl you beg to love you would never respect you, she might cling to you for a while if you're financially buoyant, but she'll happily give herself to street boys worse than you to ravage her. And you would end up regretting or contemplating suicide cos no matter what you do for her, she doesn't love you and never will.

The rule is to look for someone who you're guaranteed feels the same way, and not someone whom you'd keep asking and asking if she does love you over and over again and coming to Nairaland to worry us about how your girlfriend doesn't reply your messages, or calls or how she constantly asks you for money even though you're still struggling.

advanceDNA:
Oga ade...spend on your self and your family..

Lol...I don't know why most guys love this line. Truth is no matter how much you choose to spend on yourself and your family, you'll still need someone special in your life. My post was aimed at making sure whoever you choose to spend on is the right person.

NOETHNICITY:
This is where you people always get it wrong. Spend ur money on yourself or your family. Those girls appreciate nothing

You're wrong bro.

Regardless of the kind of love you shower on your family, a time would come in your life when you'll need to show love to someone. Someone that would mean the world to you, someone that would compliment your weakness and faults.

My post was aimed at spending on the right person when that time comes. Cos whether you like it or not you will definitely spend on the woman you love. The problem is for you to make sure that she's not the wrong person, cos if she is, then your investment wouldn't be reciprocated.

Onuh211:
Please help, how do I convert my airtime to my bank I mistakenly recharged 60k instead of 6k

My data would expire on Monday, I can buy 8k airtme from you. Drop your number and I'll contact you.

I would also advise you to meet your working class friends and sell to them, and before Wednesday next week you would have sold everything and retrieved your money.

.

Sometimes I ask myself if it's a taboo for Nigerian girls to work and earn their own money. Everything you feel a guy should be doing for you, if you're not lazy as a girl you can do it easily for yourself and maintain your pride as a woman.

Choosing a wealthy guy over a broke guy will end in disaster cos sooner or later the wealthy guy would realize that you're a liability to him and he would dump you for a hard-working girl just as a hard-working girl would dump a lazy broke guy for a hard-working one.

The rule of the thumb is to work hard and become independent. So whenever a guy comes across you, whatever you feel for him would be genuine and not because he flaunts some few naira notes on you, cos no guy would choose a liability over a hard-working independent girl regardless of how beautiful she is.

The word born again doesn't exist in Nigeria.
When pastors engage openly in fornication, is it members you expect to live holy. Las last everybody na hypocrite.

May 29th is Sunday. No institution in Nigeria would fix the deadline of their acceptance fee on a Sunday, cos acceptance fees are paid through the banks and banks clearly don't operate on Sundays so how do they expect student to pay the money on Sunday?

Try another lie...this one is outdated.

She's right, most guys spend blindly on a girl and expect to trap her with his sacrifice. Some guys even force and beg their girls to accept their gestures, then complain when she changes, guys should learn to spend on girls that appreciate and value their sacrifice.

I really want Liverpool to win the league this season. Since my club (Manchester United) is out of the race, they're the next club I support closely after ManU.

Good luck to them.

Aify3000:
Ever since me and my girlfriend have been dating ,she have not post until i tell her to do so, either she blocks her family members before posting me oe she will not , please does it mean she doesn't love me ?
Because she doesn't even post me on whatsapp talkless of tiktok

She's probably still a teenage or in her early 20s and is avoiding an unnecessary family meeting summoned for sole aim of inquiring who you are from her.

If you're matured enough and truly love her, it shouldn't worry you. Whenever you're ready to marry and officially introduce yourself to her family, she'll post your pics until you get tired.

If you want to win her back, take her out, say like to a beach, an eatry... somewhere porsh. Ask her to order whatever she wants, don't quarrel with her, don't argue with her, just stare into her eyes whilst holding her hands smiling and tell her that you never knew how beautiful she was, then apologize for whatever wrong you might have done to her and reaffirm your love for her.

Use the remaining time gisting and talking, after you're done, take her shopping, buy some clothes and other stuffs for her, come home, prepare a nice dinner and end the day with a wonderful sex.

Believe me, she'll wake up the following day a changed person and you'll have your wife back.

Sometimes guys loose interest in a girl they just met. This could be due the following.

*If they perceive pride from the girl. (This could be they way she replied their messages or calls)

*If she's not as good looking with the right curves as they thought.

*If they don't vibe well.

*If she's always forming busy, promising to call and never calls...

If his withdrawal might be due to any of the reasons above kindly let him be. Trying to reach out to him would put you at a disadvantage, cos it will lead to sex, break up and further withdrawal from him.

Now that the infatuation is still early and you both haven't invested anything in whatever you have for each other, just kill those feelings.

I would strongly advise against you reaching out. If he's truly interested in you, he'll come around. If he doesn't, kindly move on with your life.

He's definitely contented with his farmers league. PSG cannot win the champions league, and if they don't win it next season, Messi, Neymar and other expired starts would be offloading from the club so as to reduce their expenses, of that happens they would be struggling to even win their domestic league.

Magnoliaa:
No. As a guy, the sensible thing would be for me to marry someone whose work schedule I'm comfortable with rather than deluding and displeasing myself over some fantasy and notions about a workaholic lady.

As a guy?

thalpy:
Want to hear from you guys. Can you marry a faithful woman who respects you but a workaholic? She doesn't play with anything career. She goes to work and come back home late. Yes late. And you know she is actually coming from work. Her colleagues does same work and go home but because of her passion they even gave her extra jobs to do . This in other round makes you lack her attention a bit. An attempt to stop her from doing too much might bring quarrel or a talk that you are bossing her up. If she is at home there will be gist but in no time it will be late and sleep calls. The circle goes on and on .

Sure why not.

In fact that's the kind of woman I'm secretly praying for. We would save together and accomplish so much. Have lots of building projects, businesses, investments...

Marrying a workaholic is a blessing in disguise. Not a nagging lazy woman who would wait for you to come home and pay 1k for sweeping or 2k for security fee, she would call you at work to tell you that gas has finished and she has both on credit so you should transfer the money to them. God won't allow me meet such women.

Stallionhorse:
madam go and brush your teeth and also clean cobwebs from your clitoris head.. This is very much mature thing to do to any cheating gf.. Strip her naked RIF possible since she has no shame and has turn her Luna to community palliatives why not show the community what they pay for.

Oga she's not he's wife so legally nothing binds them both.

But attempting to nàked her publicly is an offence (sexual assault) and he can be jailed for it.

The rule of the thumb is you mustn't give what you're not prepared to loose in a relationship.

MerciMe:
Why do 5-10 years need swimming practice sessions for heaven's sakes?

It' high time school owners vet non-schooling engagements they expose their students to. See, now, such good will and years of efforts will flush through the drain over some non-sensical activity that would have been suggested by a fool

It's all about money.

Most private schools these days look for ways to extort parents. If not what is a 5 year old doing in a swimming pool? The swimming lessons isn't for free, so they'll definitely be making a fortune out of it.

A friend of mine was lamenting to me how he's son's school organized music lessons for kids (primary school kids) during the just concluded Easter and sallah break. The cost of that lesson was the reason why he was telling me. Worse of all he doesn't have a keyboard at home, so he's kids can't practice what they learnt making their training a total waste of money.

Private schools care less about kids in their care, they care less about their teachers, all they care about is profits, lots and lots of it.

Fatalveli:
For a month? Or how long?

For a month.

Portable should be Itel

Olamide should be Infinix

The question is what business can you actually do with 10m that would yield above 20m within the space of 2 years in this present day Nigeria?

The answer is none. You'd end up defaulting on the loan. For me I can't accept such offer.