₦airaland Forum

Must you marry him?

Hes into something shady - possibly scamming
He's processing a divorce -once married for papers
Has a huge ego
Sneaky deceptive.


Can you cope with all this?

Lots of silly people on nairaland, not even surprised lots are rape apologists.

Mtchew

somehow:
yea but to me, this isn't a marriage. why is she not borrowing him money to complete their permanent home instead of borrowing him money to pay rent?

Why is the man not loaning money from her to build their permanent home instead of loaning money to pay rent?


It all still boils down to this

The question to ask here is “How can a man sold a house for N150m 7 years ago and can’t build another one?

That should give you ideas of why the woman need to act the way she did.

And this

The N24m was a loan refund to the woman.

Make I no lie, men sabi fuckup.

Note the bolded

LordsBattleAxe:
you know what you want. Don't compromise. There's always a ying for a yang. FYI: not all guys demand for sex during dating. No, they aren't simps or impotent. It's just personal conviction.

God bless you ooo

larryjonze:
what if the gurl was just lucky to have dodged a bullet, sometimes men with ED, impotence & fertility issues hide under the guise of no sex till marriage. i won't buy into the ideal of a sexually experienced lady marrying a virgin guy cos in every area women want someone ahead, someone they can alway learn from.

the 2nd scenario justifies nothing , her 1st born could have been six yrs by now, lets just thank God she found another man some gurls made that same choice and till date they're still roaming the street @ 43 no boyfriend.
wedding nite or no wedding nite people should be more focus on trust & compatability

Like I said everybody has his/her type.

Those who believe in Sex before marriage will look for excuses to do it forgetting there are thousands who didn't have sex and everything is still fine.

2nd scenario, you also forget it could easily swing to
1, The guy might end in sleeping with her and not even marry her if she doesn't get pregnant at that time

2. She might even get pregnant and still get dumped and become a single mother its still you guys that will be saying single mother this single mother that.

3. Are you saying all those single at 43 with no boyfriend never had sex with those they dated.


Whatever you believe in do it, my own is do not let someone push you to what you don't want to do, If you do not want to have sex before you marry don't allow a guy or lady to pressure you into it.

I am a strong advocate of NSBM and I shout it LOUUUUUDD.

Make your choice and accept the consequences.

.

Rosement:
Yes, sis. Having the same experience over and over can be so frustrating, I think I'm going to follow your footstep on this matter.

The both of us are not broke, we exchange gifts on special occasions. I use to prepare food and take it down to his office to surprise him.
I am in a healthy relationship, we treat each other with respect but the problem is we agreed to wait till our wedding night but now he is suggesting that we start having MouthAction.
Perhaps, he does not understand that I'm not trying to keep my hymen intact, I take fornication as a sin

Break up with him your type will come.
Don't go against what you believe in

There are guys who don't want to have sex till they get married

My colleague a working class guy opened up to me ,actually broke up with a lady because she was trying to seduce him. Babe was like 'you better stop suffering yourself' kept on arranging situations where they would be alone, bobo confessed that he almost lost it at some point . last last the guy broke up with the lady and I do blame her because they had an agreement of no sex, it was a relationship leading to the altar, why did she agree if she knows she can't.

Now he's in another relationship with a lady who truly understands the NSBM agreement and we thank God.


Scenario 2, babe was a virgin been dating this guy abroad, guys mother wants babe to get pregnant before wedding, babe said she doesn't even intend having sex before she weds not to talk of belle, the issue dragged and dragged, laslas they broke up. Almost 6years later babe got married few weeks back as a virgin to one cool guy like that .

These things are not hard every opolo get hin kind.

So OP break up with him, you will see the one that will wait with you.

Its simple she says no sex before marriage and if you can't cope move on.there are guys who actually don't want to have sex before they marry.

You will meet your type.


And to the ladies if one guy is saying if you don't have sex with him he won't marry you and you strongly believe in no sex, kindly take a walk your kind will come.

These things are not that hard.

Its a belief that if your first sale for the day is on credit, its only creditors that will patronize throughout the day and if its on a Monday throughout the week will be full of creditors.

There's also this belief that the first customer of the day influences how sales for that day or week go, or even the presence of a customer with 'good legs' can influence sales It may be right or wrong, there's a belief that some people have 'aje' in their hands .

Experienced it once, myself and mum went to buy lace materials at oshodi, we bought one from a shop and almost immediately another woman came in, I went to the ATM to withdraw extra funds about 2-3extra customers were standing ready to buy. This woman was telling mumsie to wait small, 'ejoko die si ma' mama was like ahh we came from far, was wondering what all the drama was about. After we left and i asked mama shewas like mo ni aje lowo that the seller observed the change in the shop ( increased no of customers )after she purchased from her that was why she was using tactics to delay her a little more I just smiled.

So some people take this stuffs seriously

Finally someone has remembered this road.

I still can't believe amosun couldn't fix that road despite the industries at Agbara estate.

Back then when it was good we used to pass that road to link papalantoro- sagamu- Ijebu ode, we didn't need to pass the Lagos Ibadan express.

bukatyne:
@bold:

Came out very funny.

I laughed out loud



@topic do you guys (the couple) live in Lagos, have children under 5?

Owocourtesy:
Advising them against such act will be more reasonable and effective than spanking them.

Kids are ignorant of most of the things they do, so advising them inculcate more wisdom and values in them than spanking them with a rod. To them, they feel they are just having fun. Spanking them is more or less a waste of time and energy cos kids will always be kids.

To those that are saying 'I'll spank them', it may likewise intetest u to know, that most of u did much more then these kids when u were kids.

Regards

Not kids of these days, they are very smart and know exactly what they do.

Parents of nowadays don't want to hear the truth, teachers see a lot about the students. Private schools try to polish the reports because they dont want to lose studentsmost govt /military schools no send you.

My teacher wrote she's intelligent but she talks a lot in my report card, Js1 or 2. It was not a lie.

omaclarry:
You all saying its wrong to comment re mad, and i guess re the modern day parents breeding unruly children every where. You forget that schools moulds students both in character and in learning, if a school can report ur academics why not your character. well school is now a business venture, no moral, some schools dont even grade students with positions but with blooted average scores.
i remember when i played a dirty prank on my teacher in primary 4, the teacher flogged me, reported me to the headmistress who flogged me in assembly, sent a report to my dad who flogged me again. My class mate who stayed close to me told her parents what happened and they inturn told my dad again who flogged me again, the matter was brought up in the PTA and my dad came home and flogged me again for bringing my surname in bad light. that was the last tym i ever did bad in school.
My next offence was in SS3 when i went over the fence to get my bag that fell off and i was caught with other student that were truants, after flogging the principal told us to get our parents, other students wia ok with it, but i refused to leave that office i told my pal to do watever he likes to me than 2 bring my dad into the matter, i blocked the door and refused him to leave other teachers tried to make leave but i refused till they unanimously agreed to not bring my dad into the issue.

Schools should do well to report students character aswell as true academic performances, not letting the parents know will make them feel all is well, as most children pretend to be good at home and wild outside. And some short coming may actually be from the home due to emotional stress on the child aswell as pressure from parents for the child to b a science student when the young child actually want to be a rapper.

The bolded

Maximum shishi
See the cycle of cane chopping your head reset sharpsharp

Loool this guy and his threads.

crackhaus:
Dear OP, don't kid yourself...
There's no where in the world that a woman would agree to share all financial responsibilities 50/50, I dare say this.

I could make an exception for families where the husband and wife have decided not to birth kids. A woman in this union may just (emphasis on may) agree to do 50/50, but then it'd still be rare.

Women are simply not built to want to split financial responsibilities straight down the middle – doesn't matter how modern or exposed she is.
You could very well meet exceptions to the above generalization, but they will all be non-african women.

If it's a naija woman you're looking for to split bills/share financial responsibilities 50/50 with you, then sorry oo.
Our wonderful sisters believe that opening their legs for you entitles them to your money (lots of it), not to mention when they now have children for you... ohh trust me, it's a mountain of gold sef they expect from their men for pushing out babies.

Any woman (like some above) who tells you to share in the housekeeping, child raising, and chores, so that they can share the financial responsibility with you 50/50, is lying to you oo. NA TRAP!
You will just end up doing plenty housework, and still see yourself spending the most money. LOL! No such thing as 50/50 when it comes to money in a naija woman's handbook... Better make peace with this fact and learn how to be following dem with brain.

Loool @ bolded

But then there are men who spend most ( if not all) the money and still do house work.

This OP only wants to share bills, he doesn't want to share chores,it does make sense if he wants his financial burden relieved he should also relieve his lady's domestic burden that should balance out the European system he is quoting.

Loool, I knew I wouldn't be disappointed in page 2, it was beginning to sound like a format at the end of page 1. The emphasis on 7k pounds ...

Nairalanders I hail

Lemme finish reading

JustCruise:
Most of you don't understand what the Op is trying to say. Last year, my junior in sec school after 10years and he was in his own benz while i was walking home.
I swear, for two complete night, i couldn't sleep. How would i buy a car like that with my 30k a month salary?

And what makes you think you won't buy your own Benz too.


Time and chance happens to everyone .

Ladycewhy:
Does holding black nylon bag make a person poor? ,Even if i go to buy clothes ,I prefer to put them inside a bagco bag, I see it as concealment or is there something else I am missing?

Bagco is even fancy its that 50naira dangote cement bag I buy and I still don't see anything wrong with it.

Maybe there's something else both of us are missing sha.

majamajic:
Me too , what he meant by holding a black nylon bag ? She came out from mob , what that mean too ?
Does holding black nylon makes one poor ?

I don't talk what I don't understand

Same question on my mind,

chival:
What's mob though? I don't understand that part of the story.

I thought I was the only one but it seems it means a car.

I am officially old school

I thought organic means natural not chemicalized.

I just remembered that My self and my friend made black soap for ourselves years back.
blacksoap, eyin aro ( the liquid at the bottom of the pot after making the local black soap), local fowl egg , ( they said its the local egg that will work) honey, and I think osun( camwood) and maybe lemon.

It worked for pimples and smooth skin.


There are natural products that clear spots, Lemon does this, but because its natural it works gradually.

Our sharp sharp people will add harsh chemicals to so called organic products and the bleaching begins.

All these una generalizations sha

airsaylongcome:
Agree with you on most of your points. People will relocate abroad and suddenly become fair. When you ask "How manage?" You get silly responses like "Its the weather". So all those dark skinned African-Americans wey don dey America for at least 300 years the weather no change their colour?

Actually the weather does help the skin, how did I know? I went to Adamawa for NYSC camp backthen for 3weeks during the cold season, it was annoyingly cold, little sun I wondered how cold jos would be.

I came back after settling down and everybody was asking if I changed cream that I was fairer, funniest part was I dont rub cream on my face only hands and legs.

So most times less exposure to the sun over there will help prevent darkening of the skin, if you have seen the skin of hijabite women in naija that cover their face and every part of their body you will understand, supple smooth fresh skin and this is because they don't expose their skin to the sun.

Heared this as far back as 2011, thought the person was just bragging

I used to call them old generation back then till I opened an account with them in 2019.
Wema is so cool, and no long queues in their bank, transactions are seamless, Customer care is good. I would rate wema over some of these our new banks.

I would always tease mumsie about wema and union bank as old peoples bank. Both of them are now new school

Closing the window shouldn't be an issue but then she could be sending a message that she's being disturbed.

Now concering the sharing cake matter nobody knows her mind if she is offended or not but since you celebrated in your parlor its not supposed to be an issue.

I saw your initial thread and I just couldn't relate , now it has come to this, stealing to play the game.

This permissive parenting style is not the best.

Its bad enough that his mum pays for those stuffs, now he had added stealing and lying to it. The day theres no cash in that account its your own ATM card or that of anyone around he will use, by then the mother might begin to grasp the ripple effect of this matter that looks so simple but can easily degenerate to a very complex matter.

Loool, my mother just came knocking too after church this morning, I was surprised to see her because I stopped by her place yesterday. She said she wanted to see the grandkids, that was around 10 after early morning service.

I can't imagine my husband opening this kind of thread, the guy just greet mumsie, all of us chop Sunday rice been watching TV and gisting. Mum even helped me fold some clothes, pluck vegetable, feed the kids, bathed them.

As I am typing this they are all in the parlor with the kids disturbing them while I am locked up in a toilet trying to get some few minutes 'me time'

Latest in one hour she will have gone to her house as she no dey waka for night. Her presence helped me and hubby greatly .


So OP since its a visit not a sleep over I honestly don't see the problem.

Learnt how to eat beans as a choice food.

I think I ate more beans in the first three years of my marriage than I have ever eaten, before I got married I can never say I am hungry and beans will come to my mind lailai, but hubby loves the thing ehn.

I remember this thread.