₦airaland Forum

Please don't force feed your child and the baby should take ( breast or formula)milk only till 6months.

Babies seem to love SMA gold its very creamy you will just have to add about 1k to the price of NAN

IjeBos:
They do need to sit down and plan properly. But the OP isn't being realistic and he needs to be. He needs to appreciate that 25k is not enough for his wife to take care of the whole family for a month. And with that appreciation, he can be more understanding/patient of her frustrations. And that may make her less frustrated.

I agree with another poster, bring her into the process of how you distribute your salary. Consult her about what she thinks you should give your mom and whether or not it's the time to save. And honestly, I couldn't imagine my mom being ok taking 10k knowing I only make 55k and I have 3 kids.

@bolded, The OP and some posters dont want to understand this part.

In this present economy 25k is not sufficient to feed 3 infants or toddlers and 2 adults for a month that is just the basic truth except we want to deceive ourselves.

I have a toddler and the same tom brown( gunineacorn, maize, millet meal) peeps are saying is cheaper is part of her meals, I prepare it myself. Prices of grains doubled since lockdown and refuse to come down.

Presently what I make with 2,000 was what could be made for 1,000.

Let's say 1,500 worth of tombrown per child per month multiply that by 3 that's 4,500.

One of the cheapest baby milk is my boy and it ranges between 1,500-1,700 and a child will use at least 3Tins per month ( this is if you are managing it ooo) normally a child will take at least 1 tin per week or even more abi pikin no go drink milk. Multiply that by 3 that's about 4,500- 5000 for one child.

Just cereal plus milk(milk for one child oo) alone is taking almost 10k out of the 25k.

The child won't take the tom brown cereal alone, there will be fruits, other meals to compliment and we don't know the cost. The children have to eat well to be healthy



Remains 15k ( let's assume the 3 of them will take 1 tin of milk each per month which is impossible)

Out of the 15k

1. the money gulping part - diapers that stuff gulps money ehn multiply that 3.

2.Then food for the nursing mother and father one paint of garri is 800, beans is 400 derica, rice 350-400 derica, multiply what they will need for a month. Soup things, dried fish.

3. Other unexpected baby expenses

4. Groceries for the house, at least they will buy detergent to wash cloth .

5. Others


I honestly don't see the magic the wife can do it wont even be enough for basic stuffs.Things are too expensive.

People should plan before impregnating people, babies are expensive and the rising costs of things is not helping matter

osazsky:
did u read the part where the woman wil buy pampars baby food.buy food for herself cuz if she doesnt eat well while breastfeeding at night she will go mad.prepare food for the man in d morning and evening.why should a man with 3 children that earns 55k eat in d afternoon...did u read the part that those babies need cloths and drugs when they fall sick..he should give the wife the whole 55k ..trek to work to and fro and beg his mum for assistance with the asurance that he will return the assistance once he gets more income.thats a real man..sacrifice

Honestly your posts sounds harsh but there's some element of truth in it.

The bolded parts got me LOL.

I actually find it amazing that the guy is saying wife is starving him of sex, in all these sex still crossed his mind . Nawa.

Fxwarrior:
None of you advisers are even asking for the wife to get something doing to augment the income...

Simply because if she doesnt have an established business with a sales girl or a good job theres no point, she can't start anything now because of the triplets.

Those children are the main jobs, even if she looks for work, they have to pay for daycare which they can't afford.

Under normal circumstances one individual shouldn't be taking care of triplets alone, its the begining of mental breakdown now add insufficient funds to the mix, its not a very palatable one. Even those who get the money dey sweat.

She is a superwoman

Joejonah:
Dear op,
You can't continue to live your life this way.once the children has stop breastfeeding, take one to your mother, the other to your mother inlaw, then keep one with you.

Then you and your wife will have chance to double your hustle. If you continue like this you may die very soon. Lack of money is the cause of your present predicament and domestic violence. The 25k nor even reach give side chick �

See sharing formula

See how comments are scanty since its not a woman bashing matter

BlueRayDick:
*in Zlatan’s voice * Fresh fish ; E dey Lagos!

Eja tutu


This song came to my mind immediately I saw that picture

Kileleyi O eja osan, eja tutu re shokoyokoto

Foxie:
Oga erniok howfar?

Loool

Get a prepaid,

That 22-28k you are paying now can easily jump to 50-60k the next month.

Get a prepaid and regulate your consumption

Has there been a trend ? Try and observe

Just ensure money gets to mama, anyone of you can do the sending or giving.

saajus:
I won't judge cos this is a one-sided story. One thing I have observed in many wives is that they can suppress pressure so much. But, when they explode, may God help you. We've not heard from the wife. But, don't be surprised that the man may be the one that brought this misfortune upon himself. I remember a video circulating around a few months ago of a Nigerian man in the UK that his wife threw his belongings out. People were raining curses on his wife. Later the truth came out that the man is extremely wicked. The man left his real wife with three children and move in with a side chick. The side chick was the one that threw his belongings out.

Don't take your wife for granted. If she's ignoring or pardoning your bad deeds, she's not a fool. If you continue your bad ways, she will explode someday and you will regret ever being born.

For now, his friends should rally round him. Help him so that he won't injure himself.

The bolded is what a lot of them don't understand.

A lot of women will tolerate the mans nonsense as long as they can but when they have a defence for e.g the law abroad they will come all out on you.

Even in this naija some women will tolerate you as long as they can while planning their exit, some will say they are waiting for their children to grow up.

I heard of a pastors wife who left her husband after her last child got married she stated categorically that she has been waiting all these years and has endured because of her children now she wants to live on her own, they sent emissaries she said lailai that she can't continue living with him under the same roof that he is wicked. This is not 20 years marriage thats to show you how much women can endure.

The law over there protects the woman, the law/ tradition here doesn't protect he woman at all the man gets away with anything, the woman is thrown out with nothing, no child support whatsoever. Over there its the exact opposite.

If you treat your wife well whereever you are you most likely won't run into problems, this is one fact all those shouting and whining still don't acknowledge.

Can you count the no of naija couples living abroad and they have not divorced ? No.

I also find it surprising when people say its because they are abroad the woman files for divorce, do you know how many marriages break up these days in Nigeria? Some marriages will fail irrespective of whatever location they are. A man can decide to send his wife packing with the children without a dime but over there its the opposite.

Be a good man, I don't believe a sane woman will just book up stories to bring a man down except she is just being a wicked.

As much as I am not a fan of abortions, I still don't understand how the abortion she did is the cause of the infertility if she carried a pregnancy to 9 months and had a still birth. She did carry a pregnancy to term and the baby died

Except if the doctor told you the abortion was the cause of the infertility.

That said, if you want to get another woman pregnant its your choice but please stop blaming your wife, a still birth and 5 IVFs is not a walk in the park, shes been through so much already. If you don't want the marriage anymore just let her know.

But then miracles do happen, I hope one happens for you guys.

Iamdemola1:
I see a lot of comments saying the landlord was right. That's a big lie. I see they don't know about tenement laws, particularly in Lagos. The law empowers tenants a lot. Your landlord cannot give you quit notice unless your rent expires and it must be a 6 months notice so that in that six months, you can get another accommodation. So bro, your landlord and the barrister who signed that are so wrong.

Oya post a section of the law that says your rent must expire before you are given a 6 months notice.

And where in the law is it stated that it Must be a 6 months notice? Shey you know if the rent has expired he is only entitled to 7 days?

Now the OP has been given 6 months notice that his tenancy will not be renewed in order to find another accommodation before the 6 months end. Even if the notice is issued after his rent expired, he has to Pay for the time spent according to that same law you are misquoting.



Is it not the same LAGOS tenancy law we know.

The landlord is not wrong.

I have to admit that the 'A word is enough for the wise' part got me rolling in laughter.

This should be in Lagos.

BluntTheApostle:
Some landlords just like to put everything in writing.

Otherwise, it is not necessary to serve quit notice to a tenant whose tenancy is still active.

What the landlord is trying to communicate to you is that "When your rent is due, I will not be taking another rent from you. You will have to leave my house because I want to make use of it for other purposes".

The reason why some landlords like to give all these unnecessary quit notices is because of some stubborn tenants who would pretend like they didn't know that the landlord had told them that he wanted to reconvert his house.

So, that is why landlords always like to put everything in writing because they are easy to prove in court.

If you are not comfortable with the quit notice, ask to speak with the lawyer who served you. You might make a discreet recording during your meeting with him.

Also, keep the receipt of your rent safe and available.

So that they don't force you to cough out money at the end of the supposed quit notice.

You understand the situation perfectly.

Yansham:
The first thing you need to do is refer to your tenancy agreement. Most people do not go through it at all and these landlords do put a loophole there. The loophole is for them to be able to issue you a quit notice six months before the expiration of your rent.

Read below an extract from the tenancy law:

Length of Notice

(1) Where there is no stipulation as to the notice to be given by either party to determine the tenancy, the following shall apply

(a) a week’s notice for a tenant at will;

(b) one (1) month’s notice for a monthly tenant;

(c) three (3) month’s notice for a quarterly tenant;

(d) three (3) month’s notice for a half-yearly tenant; and

(e) six (6) months notice for a yearly tenant.

At the bolded, landlords do insert the notice period. But tenants do not take their time to read it.

People don't know the law most times.

Even a tenant at will would start claiming he wants 6 months ( free rent )notice. Person that his rent has expired ooo lool.

Even the so called 6 months notice is not free, you have to pay for it

Loool

He wants to live in free house that's why he's expecting it at end of tenancy.

Your landlord is simply informing you on time that he is not intending to renew your tenancy. Shikena. You no read your agreement ni

fashrola:
In this life eh... Marry a very good and supportive wife, Because I've seen a lot of men been abandoned by family (Brothers, sisters, friends etc) cos of "Economic downturn" predicament..... When eventually things pickup again, Some people go start to dey talk (The wife don cage am, e too dey listen to him wife) but they forgot what those couple passed through in life before getting their feet back

Never question couple's decision on their families (Because na dem get shoes and dem no where e dey pinch dem)

Your wife na your first family before any other person, Cos na the first point of contact be that for your life..........

Hmm coming from a man on NL that's impressive

The truth of the matter is to a lot men ( actually boys) on NL their wife is just an outsider she is not family, only his children , siblings and parents are his family.

Me I don't get surprised by such comments, you would see the trend on that thread where a guy claimed his mother wished his wife dead and see how people couldn't say the mother was wrong, its simply because the wife is not seen as family.

You see that bolded ehn, most people would never understand.

As for Lola I believe her and her hubby are making solid investment plans for her and the children sha because if in the future her husband dies before her, those her inlaws will not even hesitate to take all what they perceived to be their brothers own.
People that didn't even attend Lola's parent's burial, taaa!!

Best Advice - Trust your maternal instincts, if you feel something is not right there's a 99% chance its not.


Then

Avoid too many people carrying your new born, I find it annoying that people just want to carry and peck a new born baby, even before covid era as a rule I DONOT carry new borns when I go visit their parents. I also didn't allow it when I had my children, those babies are fragile, their immune system is still fragile, you don't know what infectious disease those peeps have, even cold could be transmitted easily.

Tenant and Landlord palava.

It seems 8 out of 10 tenants will always cause problems.

Just yesterday mumsie was telling me one of her tenants refused to pay security levy for 2 years he has lived in the house he paid only 2 months out of 24 months and the CDA keeps harassing mum.

She asked him for this past februarys owm the guy come dey shout on mama head even saying mama is saying he's owing for 2 years, does she expect him to pay security levy during the covid lockdown

His 6months rent that he even paid in arrears has expired since January 31st he did as if he doesnt know now common 700 naira per month security fee he no pay come dey do strong head.

I just told Iya to calm down , there are ways of dealing with people who don't have sense like him. Sebi he doesn't want to have sense.


When landlords are wicked, harsh and terrible I honestly don't blame them, the tenants taught them.



@ Topic I honestly can't count the amount bad debt on my mums property, you might just have to let it go as bad debt.

Since thursday no bus, let the agberos feel te heat they should fight once and for all.

Even buses that were trying to pass short cut inside iyanaera were stoped by the drivers union.

They made every bustop a collection point for agberos. Even heavy duty trucks that pass through Igboelerin are taxed.

Bunch of rogues

xavuv:
Yes, if it's a fact our mother said those sad words, i will support his decision. With her words, she has suceeded in dissolving the tiny fabric that held the family together. She lacks empathy.

The mother from all indications has always been a troublesome woman, even advising OP not to marry from his Father's tribe. Is that not the same tribe she herself married from? I wonder how she's been treating OP's father.

Now let's twist it a little: if your mother prefered you to die instead of your own 2day old baby, would you still be sentimental in reasoning?

The bolded is what most of the mothers supporters can't answer.

Or if it was her own daughter that the baby died, would she have wished it was the daughter that died instead?

If the OP knows what is good for him he should run far and keep his wife away from his mother, she can kill the wife.

This one is not normal mother/ daughter in law clash this is far morlre than that.

seguno2:
So what is Sanwo-Olu waiting for, to complete the light rail? Or citizens are not suffering for that ni

Do you live along badagry express? If you do you will know work has resumed on road and the rail.

Sadly he has a point,

if sanwo had abandoned and refused to complete ambodes projects like Ambode left fasholas project this bridge would not have been completed and the citizens will be the one to suffer

Francis609:
She hates my wife because she is from the same tribe as my dad. She wanted me to marry a lady from her tribe.

she also thinks she is ugly and will give birth to ugly kids.

See reasons, what sort of hatred will make you wish death on your DIL.


Keep your nuclear family away from her. You really can't disown her because she is still your mother but keep a distance, keep your family away from her.

Jeez what kind of person is this, even the death of her grandchild could not elicit any compassion , she couldnt even commiserate with your wife despite knowing what it takes to birth a child.


Stay away from her, keep your wife very far away from her . She can actually kill your wife if she has the opportunity.

Shedoesnt like your wife and can't pretend- rubbish .

My people have a saying

A n ja bii to kaku koo - we dey fight no reach say make I wish you death.

Chai AM express crew
Sadiq
Yinka


One lady like that Maryann anazodo

When NTA was NTA

Erums:
Pls explain sir.. My wife is somuch in need of a cot.. I have told her it's not necessary, but she won't just back down

If funds is the issue, you can buy a mini cot bed with net that the picture is on this page. You get get some for like 3-4k. They out grow this ones in 3 months max. You can place this one on the bed beside you guys, no one can roll over the baby while sleeping.

Or better still if you have some more cash there are tokunbo play pen that you can put a mattress in and convert to a sleep cot, the babies sleep in this till they discover how to climb out that should be around 1 year.

Now if you are really cash strapped and you have to sleep with the baby on the bed, you can get this old umbrella net, it would be used to cover baby on the bed at least it will prevent the mum from rolling over the newborn.

Its not really safe to sleep with a newborn on the bed.

The truth now is this things are now very expensive compared to when this thread was opened.

I don't think its sustainable, businessmen won't want to lose their income , especially the farmers up north especially for Perishable products.

Tomatoes that has been lined up since Thursday will have started wilting. Millions of naira.

It just a matter of time.

Badagry Fayawo boys be looking at you guys with side eyes,if this persists they will smuggle tomatoes and pepper from Benin republic.

The major impact will be on all grains and even that too its just a matter of time, no farmer will want to keep goods stored for too long when there's a market.

I don't even care if the story is real or not

But I am not surprised that the NL boys hailing her, even using her as an example to keep a guy,some even went tribal sef, some even said she has the male son she will be given preference, all of them are now blaming her.

Aye le oo

I know biblically the child is named on the 8th day and presented in front of the alter of God ( dedication) by 41days.

Naming does not need to involve ceremony, even dedication too doesn't need ceremony.

Everything is always an opportunity for party in Nigeria.

And also people would choose culture over religion in certain issues.

I wonder why people are saying its not possible.

I know someone who teaches Yoruba in about 5 schools or more somewhere in Lagos.

Part time teaching ooo, I think it became compulsory for private schools to teach indigenous languages, the guy will just go and teach for the periods in different schools and receive his pay end of the month. No long thing, not the traditional teaching style of being in a school 7-4pm.

Also as far back as 2013 some schools have been paying very well, some peeps I know went for montesorri training and they got employed into big schools with big pay.

And you see that private lesson ehn, peeps are cashing out from it big time. For better area ooo.

You see all this Maths, phonics,Music, Art and indigenous languages teachers , some of them are cashing out big time.

Especially the maths and Phonics stuff