₦airaland Forum

What about mile 2 axis towards a papa.

A whole service lane used to be full of trucks from as far as abuleado -mile2- apapa.

If those ones are not cleared they just changed the location of the problem then.

Your parents are elderly theirs is understandable, if you can find something that will generate income for them it will be okay, like okada rider someone suggested.

Something's can and should be cancelled if you ask me
Airtime for the siblings should be out of it
DSTV sef is not something you need for survival, it should be once in a while.


And please don't even attempt getting married until you sort your siblings out , don't bring a woman into this arrangement, marriage=more responsibilities meaning more financial commitment and this means you can't or might not be able to cater for your family like you did as a single guy or else she would be hated.
No try am oo ehen.

Hope you are saving sha?

Is this not the lady from that old series 'shallow waters'

No. 1 - Go home ASAP
No 2 - If it is as you say please leave the relationship. Don't marry him oo.

It might not be the general civil service scale, check the salary first , it should be on the same letter.

Also go to the organization and ask questions/ complain. Haba.

It might even be a typo, stranger things have happened.

Interesting read so far.

I do agree with crackhaus and risenphoenix1 on some of their points.


Personally, I think whatever you want to instill in a child( in naija or abroad ) should be instilled between 0 and 7 years, everything you would teach later is just a buildup of that initial teaching.

You can't start teaching a child to greet, to reapect people, be disciplined, to obey parents
basic morals after age 7, it just won't work, you start young.

Once you miss that wherever you are I don't see what magic that will be performed, I think its a lot easier to instill such values in naija than abroad but then peeps have done it over there and the children turned out well.

Hilarious thread, pocohantas no go kill person with laugh.


@ topic I know horses are expensive but 600,000 dollars for one Fresian horse? Olagbara ooo.

I thought the dirtiness was the issue but you have a problem with her acne, her religion, her mgbke dress sense, shes not beautiful facially, doesnt wear make up, she's shapeless , hasn't laid with a man blablabla - in reality all these are not supposed to be your problem.

The dirtiness should be what you should be worried about and that's what you should work on.

There's a worrying tone of hate in your writeup

Jimasun:
Vision Scape that Ambode's wife was a director was brought in by Tinubu?
Your hatred for Tinubu is making you manufacture lies just to distort the narrative

Loool, you saw that right?

Sometimes it seems when people post they don't know that there are people who know the in and out of these stories on NL.

delex004:
They are just church members
but very close

The truth is people will soon stop doing what they feel is right because of fear of being labeled as whatever.

The alaga my mum gave yam that I mentioned earlier was our church member, same housefellowship

It is well.

CalliDora1:
Answer not satisfactory. . Besides he's stated that the uncle understands what those things mean but ask him to discared them anyways.

You know its satisfactory.

.

ThatPetiteChic:
You don't need to keep explaining to her. She's probably not a Yoruba lady so it will be difficult for her to understand.

To the Op:
I don't see anything fetish in what was gifted to the uncle. Adun is a local snack and I love eating it just like eko(agidi). It's also part of the marriage list. Some people may read unnecessary meaning to it but I'm sure the woman gave your uncle with a clear mind. I hope your uncle won't change his attitude towards her and start thinking she's an enemy of progress because na so e dey start. Brewing discord and hatred where there is none.

Tooor, it is well

CalliDora1:
Why then are they questioning the gift? You don't get it. Your mum gave out yam which is ok but giving those tiny things to a full grown man who can't relate with them? ? [/b] I mean it's somehow. There things you don't give out.

Tiny things? Abeg they are not tiny, not everyone will get yam.

@2nd bolded you still don't get the concept which it is 'no matter how small you must get something from the items brought from the husbands family',

Some get only one small sachet of salt.

He got coconut, cucumber, salt and Adun .

Maybe his uncle is not elderly then if he can't relate with the items he was given but the poster asked a question to know what/ why and he has been answered.

CalliDora1:
They are not related. He's just a friend to them and that is why everyone, (including me) is wondering why they had to give such a thing to an outsider. Or I didn't read right? They are not families.

It's ok if it's the traditional rite but I feel it should stay within the family. If you give me such things, I won't collect since I don't understand.

They simply see him as family, he must be very close to them to be given a share of the marriage items. My alaga was given a tuber of yam by my mum, shes a family friend.

The uncle knows what he was given and why he was given. Deciding to eat/use them or not is his own choice.

CalliDora1:
Who shares such as sourveneir? Too fetish.

Since you guys have trashed it, I don't think there's any need bothering about what it means. It is better to let sleeping dogs lie. Don't you think?

Its his uncles share of the items the groom came with to marry the bride, where I come from everything is shared.

The tray jotter and umbrella is the souvenir.

The salt , fruits and Adun is part of the traditional requirement grooms family packaged to marry the girl. I believe the uncle is from the brides family.

Where I come from everything is shared into 2 between the brides maternal and paternal side of the bride and then reshared among themselves.

They share it to the last, some even use tin milk/ derica to share bag of rice into small nylons it must go round ,, sachets of salts, sugar, fruits yams everything even the kids get the sweets

Those that didn't make the wedding theirs will be packaged and sent to them. Most elders will get something from the package no matter how small.

The Uncle knows this. He's Yoruba naaw . There's nothing fetissh about it, its what is required by tradition .If you guys now decide not to use/ eat them its another matter entirely

Cc:delex004

ImaIma1:
He was talking to my husband and sending him threats and insults and my husband blocked him. When money is involved, not everyone can think straight.

So when he couldn't reach my husband, he vented on my own WhatsApp.

My husband was so upset that he told me to block him but I did not.

It is well .

ImaIma1:
Many things involved. The money he sends will reduce because he now has a family. But his siblings might not be able to deal with that. They will see her as a leech/ intruder that has come to reduce their ration.

Recently, I was under fire from my husband's brother because my husband wasn't supposedly sending money as they wanted. He sent me voice notes with unprintable words. I ignored all but kept it for future reference. He went as far as threatening our child.

Eventually, they realized that my husband was actually sending money but their mum wasn't declaring everything. But she kept quiet and allowed them blame me.

As long as the family depends on the man, there will always be problems with the wife. It is how to deal with the problems that we have to face.

But why not talk to the person sending the money? Why do In-laws always blame the wife.

If he had done that he would have found out that money was sent.

The way you described the baby running means there's more to it.

Babies generally see what we can't see, when a baby cries or refuses to be close to a person I am very weary of such people. The people themselves may not know there's something in them the baby is seeing.

This life is deep, the spiritual controls the physical. Pray and investigate spiritually the person you want to marry.

I hope your wife finds out you ran a DNA on your kids.

I am still trying to get the link between this story, virginity and how marriage favors one sex over the other.

The story and the girls stupidity is separate
Virginity is another issue entirely
And marriage favoring one over the other is another seperarate matter.

Three different things and the story doesn't even link all together.

And as for ken he will surely be matched with someone like him.

NikAustine:
I hate all this nonsense.
if I was the Op I will make sure she regret ever doing that. first I will report to my parents and my other siblings and then if my brother doesn't do anything, I will disown my brother simple. and you all know when two bloods are quarreling cause of a lady, the Whole family will end up hating that lady. and besides since she says her husband's house belong to her, anytime she comes visiting with her husband to my father's house or anything and I'm there I will treat her like dirt. infact, if possible I will shout that I don't want to see her step her witchy food in my father's house. so let her and her husband go back to where they're coming from
I will be the reason for their marriage to breakup and I will have no atom of pity. me I wicked o!

I don't see any wrong the op did there. she has no right ever.
if she wanted him to leave she should talk to her husband to also talk to him apart leaving and giving them space not behaving like an uncivilized maniac.

If you understand the dynamics of marriage ehn, you will also understand that you can eventually become the bad guy instead of her should such scenario happen.

All these can be avoided if guests respect themselves and respect their brothers wives but no they won't and some women no send you at all.


That aside



My mum always told me that if I want to receive favor from the man that has only a wife, I should never fight with his wife.

My cousins don't respect my cousins wife they even transferred the hate to their children. Imagine a 17 year old child talking badly about a woman that should be in her late 40s. They will go to her house and start commanding even went as far as saying its their late mother ( my mums sister ) that is supposed to be enjoying what she is enjoying .Na she kill their mama?

When she had her last born about 12yrs back,they went for naming and expected her to be at their beck and call, serving them up and down. One of my other cousins( not from their own mother) was even telling them to help may, they said lailai ooo he should come and carry their hands.

Me I kuku dey go their house respect myself, despite they have house help I will show up for kitchen and ask what are we eating etc. she likes me ehn, when I was still in school after my cousin settle me with cash she sef will give me cash, . Always asking when I will come visit. When I got married she played a very active role, when I had my baby nko she made sure she got to my place despite the distance.


Till date she and her husband siblings are just enduring themselves, my mum had always asked them what did she do to you people? No answer.They just hate her I think.
I think her offence was she married their brother and these my cousins are married women ooo not that they even live together with my cousin and his wife.

The day she broke down and told me she didn't know what she did to her husband siblings that when they were still in a rented apartment they were all fine, she said her problem started when they moved to their own home that was when they started frustrating her. I couldn't say anything because I know its true.

My cousins even accused my mum of going to this our wife's house that what is she going to do there blablabla. Mumsie said its you people that will never respect yourself, You hate your brothers wife you want me to hate her too kolewerk.

When in-laws want to be troublesome they will defy all forms of reason, these ones are my blood cousins oppressing their brothers wife for no reason we have talked and talked they should change their ways lailai they no gree.


Sometimes I wish she was someone like the OP who will show them small pepper just small like this.

When you carry that our brothers house mentality to act to his wife you are brewing trouble and the end result depends on the temperament of the wife. The OPs bros wife no send anybody.

Very bad sign, definitely not an ordinary cutlass.

veave:
I don't understand. Is this a joke?

Boyfriend has the guts to enter your house after dating your sister for 10years without wifing her talk more of borrow money? You as the brother what did you do when you saw them? You nor use 2by4 plank he toothpick leg comot una has?

This post made me laugh out so loud.

Nawa ooo

Despite the fact that her name is on the documents, the mistress is still following her to drag.

Some people are shameless sha.

If she was not smart enough to have her name on the property only God knows what would have happened.

Maybe its even because of the house the mistress is dating the hubby, let her go hustle and build naa. Abi.

Whatever means they devise to collect their money is not supposed to be an issue, the issue is the debtor should pay the debt.


Nigerians generally don't like paying debt so I don't blame these loan companies with their strange methods getting loans back.

This matter just dey pepper me for body.

Nawa.

I wish the wife can read this thread so she can frustrate you to the last.

She is not even supposed to be living with someone like you under the same roof. I can't even imagine it.

She all the rubbish he is saying. Very spoilt somebody and he's not even seeing anything wrong in the way he is addressing his bros wife.

If my cousin addresses my cousins wife this way I will so rebuke him ehn.

This guy has zero regard for his brother and wife the Original post and subsequent posts show this.

And some peeps are actually supporting this nonsense.

You are saying your brothers wife disgusts you, you don't know its your brother you are indirectly referring to that disgusts you.

Both their fluids are on the bedsheets,you keep on hammering on the wife, what did she do to you? is it not both your bro and his wife that had sex on the bed

Give the bedsheets to a dry cleaner and stop whining on NL.You even stated they didn't know you were coming back that day..

Reason why peeps hate third parties in their house.

See the way he is addressing the woman nau , very wrong.

'Is she stupid' , see the language he is using,

Spoilt brat.

Nonsense.
Mtcheww.

RisenPhoenix1:
Of course, men cannot deceitfully bring illegitimate children home for their wives to care for, so their having extra marital sex is no business of the wife. Cheating wives on the other hand, can get pregnant for other men and scam the unsuspecting husband into taking care of the illegitimate children. That is why a wife must have an impeccable moral reputation, but for a man, it matters little.

If a man has sex outside his home, it's not really cheating. Otherwise, what is he cheating his wife of? A man cheats his wife only when he fails to fulfill his financial obligations.

Your stand is noted

RisenPhoenix1:
Proof of a man's chaste habits is irrelevant to the well being of a marriage, a woman's chastity is a primary factor.

But you already knew that. Please I don't have time for unproductive argument. I'm busy.

@bolded seriously?

I know women that are having it good very goodactually and I know those that are having it very bad and regret every single day.

I know those who are faking it to be good

I know those who carefully selected their spouse with all the due diligence and all they still have it bad.

I know those that despite the fact that their spouses had very glaring flaws they still married and are even having it better than some with all the due diligence.

One size doesn't fit all, Life happens, its only on NL I see you didn't do this that's why this is happening and I always smile at such comments.

Marriage is a huge sacrifice on both ends (its supposed to be) both spouses will have to sacrifice some things however little at some point. Most times when sane spouses want to take a decision the first thing that pops up is how will this affect my spouse and by extension the children but then lots of upside down marriages nowadays,

crazy husband crazy wife and then crazy marriage.

Sane husband, sane wife and then sane marriage

Once one of the spouses is not sane problems happen.
Simple.