₦airaland Forum

pcguru1:
Apologies for generalizing, it's just what I experienced at my father's people hands was so much that after 27 years it has affected me psychologically its why I have a harsh view on Ijebu Ode people I admit I have meant decent ijebu ode people but its always their family back home I'm worried about, once again my apologies

No problem apology accepted, few bad eggs spoil everything. I believe it's those set of people that have the 'our brothers property category' mentality.

27 years is along time they must have been civilized by now.

Some Ijebus also discriminate against other Ijebus too,

I have heared stuff like Remo people are wicked
Ago people are wicked and jazzy in nature
Epe people have jazz

And on a lighter note some of the Ijebu odes feel they are more civilized than other ijebus possibly because the town is quite bigger.

One thing that seems to be common though among all ijebus is the love for partying

Well technically she's not hiding money from you since you have access to her online banking and can even transfer from it, so you know how much she's worth.

Maybe she believes she's helping the family by saving her own income. You can explain to her that her income is also needed.

She bought the asoebi for you that 'concerns you alone' and you didn't have money for, that says quite a lot.

It's a simple matter I think.

As for the guests explain to her you guys can't afford to keep entertaining visitors.

I wonder why some people are focusing on the couples age.

pcguru1:
Can't advice you OP all I know is, if I see a snake or an ijebu ode man, I will walk with the snake pls cross check his family. ijebu ode Inherently are wicked people unless the educated ones, the ones in the village are fetish and diabolic , I have experienced and witnessed it first hand,but then again you are Igbo too, so the fighting for the husband property shouldn't come as a shock to you.

Note: your experience might differ

That's quite harsh, I believe it was just one experience from a family definitely not all Ijebu-ode people are.

E we soo ooo

Tumtum16:
His extended family members are not comfortable with my tribe and have mentioned it subtly. I don't mind his tribe but almost all my Yoruba friends tell me that I can't cope with Ijebu people because not all Yorubas marry Ijebu not to talk of Igbos. I and my family don't see tribe as a problem but his side of the family does. He is also subtly tribalistic these days but it doesn't extend to me. I have been feeling that he not hustling may be because he has been dependent on parents for a long time till we met and I made him realise that he can't continue that way but then...

I was waiting, like screening for this in your write up

That aside, Ijebu or no Ijebu the guy doesn't seem to worth it, why do you want to stress your self. You are not married to him yet.

You have other men coming for you.

By the way please don't take your child to one uncles place oo, you know he's a babalawo what are you going to do there?

I wonder when the beef against my people will end oo.

Raymie:
With the way you're going about this your post, I have little doubt you're the snitching cousin of some sort of relative of the OP. Tell ya brother, whatever the underlying faults the madam may have, he nor try. And of he thinks he can browbeat her into submission, e fit no work. He'd just be giving himself headache, moneyache and heartache.

Forgive me I just had to laugh.

Jesusgirl92:
Hope u later got to read the husband's side of the story. Especially the part where he had to fly his sick father abroad for treatment. She conveniently hid that part by saying he used his own part of the money for "his parents". Making light the situation of things just so she'll appear as "the helper". And she also said they had a " disagreement " without telling us how she insulted her husband's background because she came from a rich family... Na this type of woman go call her husband "useless" in the presence of their children. I hope she's enjoying the house now sha.

Madam she did not hide the sick parent part, if you read past page 0 of this thread you will see it.

You are not saying anything about the part of his share he used to build for his own parent

She said they had a disagreement the husband went into details she insulted the man, yes she was wrong but something triggered that- allegations of cheating which everyone is avoiding talking about.

She never mentioned she was from a rich family, the husband did.

The husband's story and the wife's story are the same, she did notlie or say anything about being from a rich home stop making it sound that way.

EgunMogaji:
They were told that they wouldn’t need it. And like sheeps they believed it too.

Oh really!!!

I was thinking there should be a law in the US about that right?

It's most likely all would have survived if they were on life jackets.

Nothing wrong with morning devotion now.

BoleAndFish:
Hahahaha this cracked me up. We go do thanksgiving put for church tomorrow.

---

Who can help with how do I fry groundnut to get that brown colour? E dey always burn. How do those guys that sell in bottle fry theirs? I want to buy in large quantity, fry and be eating small small at home.

Get your groundnuts, select out the shriveled ones

Place in a bowl, pour hot boiling water just to cover the groundnut, add salt (if you want the salted one), leave for one hour or more time by then it would have absorbed the water and salt and swollen a bit.

Pour in a sieve and spread out to dry in the sun or air dry as there's hardly sun these days when it's dry you can fry with garri or clean sand.

You can also fry without soaking at all too but soaking will make the nuts swell a bit.

The key to frying is continuously stirring, not too much heat, you pick one from time to time to see if it's peeling. Once it starts peeling your groundnut is almost done. Just stir few times more.

If you leave it even for 1minute without stirring it can get burnt.

Try to fry like half derica first.

I understand your plight, I burnt my first set of groundnut too.

That lake rice is the real thing. I never knew the imported Thailand rice was terrible till I tasted our local one It's taste is nice . When eating it you will know you are eating quality and the one I bought is stone free.

Our local rice is healthier jare. That imported rice is beginning to taste like chaff in my mouth like it's overprocessed or something

TonyeBarcanista:
I don't think many men will be comfortable living in a house solely owned by the wife. If she had informed him, at least he would have determined whether to agree to such arrangement or continue to live in rented apartment while making efforts to build his own/family house.


Very obvious


Who says she won't/can't? But it will be for herself not one to house the family



You are welcome

Thanks

But you did not answer the question 'why is it not necessary to include wife name on a house built solely by the husband:

TonyeBarcanista:
Pls do well to watch your choice of word.

A man doesn't necessarily need to include his wife's name in the documents of the family property neither is a wife forbidden from owning properties but she must inform her husband if she was a good wife; this will enable the man know where he stand and he would determine whether or not he is comfortable with it.

As you can see the man isn't a poor man, she deceived him and he's has told her to keep the house (that's my man).

Why is it not necessary to include the wife's name in documents of family property

Why does her owning or not owning a property a determinant factor for where a MAN stands?

Why won't he be comfortable with it?

Let's assume he's not comfortable with it wifey wont/cant acquire a property right?


Will appreciate your response, trying to get how some Nigerian men think. Thank you.

Youngzedd:
For sure. 1 + 1 = 1 to those who know what they are doing.

Very good



@topic

They will most likely reconcile but my own ish is the inlaws matter, they might make life miserable for the woman since they now know 'it's not our sons' house. Then because of this incident she ll be tagged as a proud disrespectful woman, then the issue of 'it's because her family is rich' will begin to play out, resentment will come in etc etc. They most likely won't consider that she may not have shown any sign of disrespect all these years.
Before you know it ideas are being pumped into the OP's head and if he's not careful, extended family interference will be what might cause separation not necessarily this matter.

Martinez19:
Op, who do you think you are deceiving? If, in the first place, you thought the house was jointly owned and that she owns a lion share of the house, why send her out of the house? If you felt that the house deserves to be jointly owned, why insist on your sole ownership of the house? You wife has begged you, from her post, she is sorry, she wants you back and is willing to give you a joint ownership of the house (which you deserve, at most) but you still put your marriage at risk and insist on sole ownership. Is forgiveness and the breakdown of your marriage less important than you sole ownership of the house?
Forget that nonsense talk of she betrayed you, act maturely and restore your marriage and get back your joint ownership of the house. Pride dey your body. You know say person get lion share of the house and you say you thought you had joint ownership of the house yet you sent her out? Oga na pride and wickedness be this. No matter how much she insulted you, you don't deserve sole ownership of the house.

isybeke:
Madam landlady u see ur life, u ran here nd twist d story to favour u,how foolish can u be......see how u use ur hand to destroy d home/family u build becos of greed, shey u want to carry house for head abi,,,,kontinue

Madam the story was not twisted at all, the same story same details Oga just elaborated on what caused the arguement.

peacengine:
Correction, marriage is not 99% dependent on a woman for success especially when a man is supposed to be the head and leader of the home.

You, oga are very unfair to your wife. Imagine if it was your sister, daughter or even mother going through this crisis. If she was my sister, I won't find fault with her at all. She never acted as if the house was hers, it's clear that it's in her name for security reasons. If not, she would be a destitute today as you are capable of asking her to leave because of an ordinary argument. Oga, you have the property which you built for your parents, me and you know that it's your property not your parents. I read your wive's thread but ignored it thinking she was lying as women can be full of drama but you have confirmed the truth. You are 95% wrong.

Thank you

Youngzedd:
The husband self weak me. Even me as a man won't even allow my wife to use only my name on her property. Mr and Mrs will do or probably her name shekina provided it's not the house I currently live in. That's her money and I don't do sh1t with it because I gotta have mine and hers will be change to where mine is.

I MUST fault the wife for making it only her name in the first place, common sense would have made her use Mr and Mrs because She's under someone who owns her and everything She got. All I can decode is that maybe She forgot that and it's left for someone to remind her of the tradition.

I don't know why what shouldn't be an issue in marriages is now an issue. This is just a minor issue both should solve within 15 minutes, now they allowed it to stay longer.

Mehn, trying to sending your wife out because of this issue is laughable.

E be like say their love don hang boot.

I hope this tradition extends to the wife also owning everything the husband owns?

Platony:
Did u know......

Long lasting Married couples av heard worse??

D thing is, dey shld jst let go of d pride & ego infesting
in der marriage.

I strongly believe d issue wil be resolved amongst dem, Remember frm d first post wer d wife complained,

she pointed out smtin dat i pin pointed; dat her husband is a good man.

So therefore, i strongly believe peace cn hover in der home again except, it is bn handled wit carelessness n wil blow it out of proportion which might lead to divorce.

Nope HE should let pride go but with the way he wrote the 'ONLY' on the initial post and that her putting it in her name only belittles him so I think putting the name in his name ONLY will 'un-bellitle' him

Well he has decided that she should not change the name which is good enough

He should go and settle with his wife jare, but this one family will begin to chook mouth.... those that have believed it is 'our son' that owns the house that alone can cause another big issue with the family resenting wifey.

And for the aproko cousin ehn...

Platony:
One thing i cn sincerely argue wit my knowledge is majority of d commenters here sayin he wouldn't av told her to move out of d house "ARE NOT MARRIED".

.... If u're married n av bn in marriage,...u'll knw such statements holds no water becos it is once in a while said wen ders heated arguments. . Yet, dey stil grow stronger in love.

Wat i see here in der issue is "PRIDE" being incharge bt believe me u, dey'll reconcile & reunite.

By d tym dem stay 2 months without each other, der brain go reset to factory settings. Especially as children don involve.

Dem die there!!

Culled frm an experienced married man o.

ME

14yrs no be beans!!

@bolded really!!!

It's like 'Get out of my house' is a common phrase among nairaland married men the way I keep reading 'he didn't mean it' he didn't mean it' and it's so annoying.

That statement is wrong simple

Which kind of joke is that.

metro10:
Mr. Man, you are very deceptive. I won’t buy your lies. I know the game you were playing on your woman. My dad did play that same game on my mother, until she wised-up.

You used your part to take care of your dad and used the rest to build a home for your parent and still expect to be treated as co equal in the real estate? Others can lie to you to inflate your ego, I won’t. You did tell her to leave the house, mistake number one. We wouldn’t be talking about this this way today, if she was dumb and stupid not to have used her name. The lady would be on the street today with no where to go. You’re here telling us it was a joke. Stop lying. I believe you have an affair. You want to push her out, bring in another lady and treat her like a fool.

She was wise and thank God for that. My dad did the same thing to my mother. He will use her cars, trash them and still push her out. She built a house, he drove her out, sold the house and messed her up. Finally, she got some common sense, built another house and gave me the documents as her first son. That he couldn’t take. My dad was like take my mums money, squandered them on the other woman and still come to trash her.

Ladies, please be wise! Imagine he saying she should change the documents to his name ONLY. Thief. Ole. Be a man, go build a house, bring them all in there. Let her rent her house for investment purposes. The true test of your love for her is to do this and prove to her, your kids and US that you truly love your FAMILY!

Don’t deceive this man to deceive the wife. God is watching you all!

There's no difference in the story naah, still same story she came here to narrate.

I wonder why you said you didn't mean it when you said she should leave your house.

She can as well claim she said all those things to you about your parents out of spite and anger.

This is why everyone should be careful what they say.

I think the main issue is the matter of background and insulting your parent she never should have used that to spite you at all but then she was angry, besides a woman would say quite a lot if she even feels you are cheating

To be honest from this your write up, you seem to have an ego.

You guys should sort your issue out,since you have decided to that she shouldn't change the name again.

Pastor having girlfriend

Issorait

No wonder my mum always said that place was sandfilled

Chai A lot of Nigerians are shallow, let NOI enjoy her appointment in peace nah everything must not be politicized.

Buahri this Johnathan that, NOI this Adeosun that.

Even president Jonathan used style to politicize his congratulations, can't you all just congratulate and move on.

We have problems as Nigerians I can't believe NOI's success is now something that should be a yoruba vs igbo stuff and even bringing politics in it.

What has this got to do with tribalism and her past job
A successful woman got a nice position and all people can say is finance minister this and that. A post she has left over 3years ago and she has moved on to better things.



A simple congrats will do shikena.

efilefun:
One of the main things sorted out by fashola was this refuse shiii, he did a tremendous job. I just don't understand how a reasonable human being will just wake up one day and decide just one company should handle Lagos waste, its not possible and can never ever work. I think it's time for Ambode to eat the humble pie and return things back to normal or better still consult fashola on how he got things done. Lagos is fast becoming an eyesore.

It's been returned to the PSP for almost 2 months now.

obailala:
I also heard a lot of people are rejecting it. My brother in PH previously paid about N15k monthly estimated billing and was lamenting. He got his PPM sometime last year and his bill jumped to over N35k monthly. By fire by force, he quickly learnt how to turn off his ACs which he runs almost 24 hours (he lives in an area where light is almost constant). Sometimes he now even rations the way he turns on his freezer; e.g. turn on only few hours a day, create blocks, and switch off for the rest of the day. The truth is that if everyone is given PPMs, the power bill of so many households (especially those with ACs) will double.

And for those of us that there is almost zero light our bills will be just like 600 naira with prepaid

Me I want prepaid meter oo. It's those with light in constant areas that reject prepaid meter and that's where the discos take them too because they know they will make maximum profit there. Those of us that have bad supply they will stifle plans to get a meter because they know we can't be cheated again.

Ole them.

murmee:
I have always known that the Meter Assets Providers (MAP) thing is a fluke. The major enemy of Electricity Consumers is NERC. If NERC wants MAP to work, it will work.

The Agency first said that MAP will start in April. The date suddenly shifted to September. Right now, they are not saying anything again.

NERC is a highly corrupt agency. They are not on the side of Electricity consumers at all. NERC is working for the DISCOS!

Haa it's now September

What is wrong with Nigerians, provide meter disco can't provide.

Let the MAP provide for us we will pay still no show.

They are claiming people are owing billions abi. Who will pay for darkness.

Olorunmaje

PharmaGirl:
Lol yeah because you're likely to take more spoonsful of milk from the cup powdered milk.Sometimes unknowingly and other times so that your tea go make mega sense whereas two sachets of milk woulda been enough for the same cup of tea.

You got it.

The refill is much more economical by some naira ( if only one can resist the temptation of adding more milk to make it creamer) it will last much more longer than the amount of sachets equivalent to the price of 450g refill price.

Those sachets, the milk inside is not up to a teaspoonful
The one that managed small is the Loya sachet and peak and I think it's for 50naira retail price about 400-450 roll price.
Those 20 naira own (Jago etc) are quite horrible in quantity sometimes I wonder at the cost of producing the sachets itself if it s not almost up to the selling price.

The refill is better if one can discipline him/herself but then it's not a sin to take tea rich in milk is it? who no like beta thing.

The one that is so annoying is that some of those nurses will be talking as if it's not your right to look at/ know what they are giving to your baby.

That is why I still respect a nurse I met at one health Centre in somolu, she said it's your right as a mother to know what and what is being given to your baby and in the process of giving the vaccination explained that she's giving a 2cm distance between the 2 of the vaccine on one of the thighs for 14weeks immunization.

Expired vaccine ke?

airmark:


Yoruba elders know how to unexpectedly hit you hard with subtle words.

Fayose, finally tamed.

Wo mo oro fi nu eyan laara

I wish the Oba said it in Yoruba it would have conveyed the meaning better