₦airaland Forum

Finally!!!!

It might not change anything.

Okoko officers are notorious. Even if you are walking on your own they will accost you.

Igando officers should watch out.

Obav. oh international

We hail ooo

baralatie:
Apostolic is su grade 1 (for the real ones o.and the serious ones don't marry outside apostolic)
So I don't expect an issue in that marriage unless other factors are creeping in and disguise as

This issue ehn it can go either way, I have a friend he was Mfm when he married, he said his wife said she can't be in a church without being a worker and Mfm doctrine is no jewelries trouser perming etcetc and she doesn't believe in not using those things, she can't pretend and so she can't stay in the church. The guy kuku joined her in RCCG. I think he's now a minister there sef.

The challenge would have been if this guy was a pastor or minister in Mfm what would have happened? Because he would see her reason as flimsy and think like what's in jewelries that you can't do without?

geedee4real:
I am into this already and I need help! I am an Anglican! While my wife was born into the apostolic faith. She loves her church so much. While planning for our marriage I promised her that I will allow her practice her own faith. After our marriage I started attending same church with her but wasn't comfortable with their mode of worship. How do I withdraw from the church without causing any issue at home. Because I withdrawing means am withdrawing my kids also. Please I need advise

The faith both of you share is christainity, both churches share the christain faith, even though Anglican is an orthodox church they really dont have controversial doctrines like other orthodox churches.

Never attended apostolic faith though but read lots of their higher way magazines it seems like an SU kind of church with lots of consecration teachings which in itself is not bad.

Promising her is the issue now because you would be held accountable to your words. Though Anglican is an orthodox church she will still be able to blend in but you promised and she will hold on to that.

This issue shouldn't bring problem to a family.

Awon hush puppy invictus gang.

If they were not caught now, they will be living large and some people will envy them.

Lool I can only imagine, use an headset, Pele oo OP.

Chochocho people can be annoying

Sltp:
This is what I saw online

Thats for a paying tenant whose rent has not expired, for an owing tenant he is already a tenant at will see what google says to about a tenant at will.

See peeps saying they can't cut of with family, until your life and your very existence is threatened by family you won't understand.

One of the best banks, I am still saying it they surprised me during this cashless season.

I think your sister inlaw should leave, since you say she's wearing seductive dresses on purpose.

She must leave.

Shes a boss abi she can get an apartment.

Eyah they never liked you ( a lot of inlaws don't like their sons/brothers wife anyway) the only consolation was that you were financially okay.

The sister was not comfortable with the fact that you guys (especially you) were okay financially, now that you are broke and your husband goes to her for help she feels fulfilled.

The good thing about the story is your hubby stood up for you so you will still cope.

You are married you are married, try to get another job then keep your mind of inlaw wahala.

They hate your daughter? Don't let your daughter go to their place. Just do what is necessary, Ignore them mostly you should be fine.

BloomingDale:
Did you read my Soln? All the bills and fees? Well, the wife is paying for some stuff like gas, baby diapers etc and I’m pretty sure he is not paying for his wife ‘s personal maintenance like clothes, etc The husband is just paying for the things he still has to pay for even if he was still single like a roof over his head, the food he eats etc, so it’s not like he’s even going out of his way too much with the bills. I’m pretty sure the wife supplements the money she is given without even letting him know. Imagine bringing out just 75k to feed a family of five for a month.


Well, the wife is now stressed and the household is unhappy. She is already running after 2 children. Can’t add another one. She has left the big child aka the husband to take care of himself. Whaddaya gonna do about it except come to Nairaland to complain. Lol.

Good someone sees the bolded, I do find it a bit funny that the guys here are pushing the OP that the wife should be spending more of her finances that the guy shouldn't take majority of the house expenses while watering down advices that this lady is stressed and he should do somethings to relieve her.

She has a job, she has a side hustle that brings in 200-300k and according to him she only pays maid fees, buy diapers and cooking gas, if the woman tells her story you will be surprised how much more she spends on the house.



I have been reading OPs responses and one thing I can see that is glaring to all who care to see it is that he is not comfortable with his wife earning that much even though he also says he earns twice that amount. Just look at how he's mentioned her income on this thread. Maybe he might be more comfortable if she was in the 100-150k earning bracket and I feel her earning that much is the genesis of their problem.
He is trying to compare the ratio of what he thinks she's spending to her income and he thinks the percentage is not enough that's his major problem. If she was earning 150k and spends about 120k on the home he would not be complaining about her income.

Honestly their problem is not much (except he has done something to hurt her and she's reacting) very resolvable, he has to do the work since he wants the marriage. Women are generally not that hard to win over, male ego is always the problem.

tomi4life:
I am tempted to agree with you. I dont think we love each other, infact when I reflect on things we really have alot of problems.

I have decided to fight back, I wont take any of this crap again. I think I have been too weak as the leader of the house this is why all this is happening.

Let not live in pretense anymore, there is a problem, a big one for that matter.

This may seem harsh I will hold back all the her entitlement, she cant expect me to play all the husband roles and she refuses to play hers as a wife.

It not even about the cooking itself, but how she responds when I raise certain matters.

fighting back won't help your marriage it will make it worse, good advices have been given but NLders prodding you to fight back won't be there when it all happens.

Your marriage is still salvageable IMHO, you ha ve to fight for it since you still want the marriage

She can as well call your bluff and decide to feed herself and the children with her money and continue watching you. As you are calling chop money entitlement she can also call cooking entitlement.

If you guys can come off your high horses all will be well, you no too get problem fa.

tomi4life:
thanks bro, divorce is not an option for me for different reasons:


1. The bible is against divorce, I dont want to disobey God
2. What people will say, we come from a spiritual background my parents and her parents are pastors, alot of people look unto us role model.
3. My children, I dont want to deny my children access to good parenting, I am someone who believes the role of a father and a mother is very critical in raising a child, my dad taught me many of the values i have imbibed today such as confident, financial discipline, hard work etc. Mum taught me to be patient, tolerant and have to empathize this balance is important. I enjoyed this while growing up and dont think it would be fair to deny my children the benefits.

I think me, she doesnt respect me that the issue. if I sit her down to talk, she goes on a defensive mode and gives all me attitude. I have told her lately she needs to watch her temperament, [b]even the way she yells at the maid, my children, our guard is strange. Very little thing she flaws up for no reason. [/b]Sometimes the way she respond to me when I ctry to give her feedback, I have to tell her why she is raising her voice, I only asking her a question.

You want your marriage to work very good you will have to be the one to do all the work initially, she will come around.

She's snapping something is wrong, it's a sign of being overwhelmed by a lot of things, why not find out what the problem is exactly,someone said up there her love language is act of service if you like talk from today till tomorrow buy all the gifts if you don't do these things in actions it will yield no result.

Actions actions and actions,

For e. g I say I am stressed and tired (or If you think I am stressed and tired) and you re not doing anything to help me out of it, you now say leave it and you don't try to make to take an action to at least ease the stress a little there will be a resentment and it will just keep building.

Sadly most men don't understand this.



Don't talk too much just act, she will notice.



Sometimes marriage can be the biggest political field.

Ijelenwanyioma:
I understand you sir but this happened about 5 years ago and she has not even enter 60 then. I have washing machine and market to our house is not up to 5mins walk. Even most times she will tell me to bath my baby that she's tired. I know how my mum treat other people children and she treat me differently. From my childhood, we were never close even though we lived together. She believes my father loves me more than her which is even not true. Like is it my fault for my daddy to love me?

Yeah I get you totally, Just ensure she doesn't come until baby is much older and you are stronger. you don't need drama.

The 2nd part of my post was on the omugwo process in general.

Then find a way to tell her not to come, however you want to do it. she will try to blackmail you emotionally ignore, she can come after 4 months or so when you are properly healed and can accommodate her whims.

A new mother doesn't need all these drama.



That said, a lot of grandmother's may not have the strength health wise to do all what omugwo entails due to old age sometimes the grandmother's get tended to by the person that is supposed to be taken care of.
This just adds more stress to the new mother if you ask me. I feel a younger person should be accompanying the old women for the omugwo but then there's also the issue of feeding two extra mouths for months. I don't know how we expect a 70 year old to cook, wash baby clothes tend to baby, press new mum's belly, go to market etc and etc.

Better still kuku let a younger person that has all the strength come alone and do all the work. The mother will cope with bathing baby. Just saying sha.

abdullahi45:
I tell you. What if they no longer end up married. Where's the honor, where is the self-esteem.

Same question I always ask, if the guy leaves her now she will be crying heartbreak up and down.

Honor ke? you are going too far seems honor is out of the equation these days.

Read this some years back I think.

Mtchew, I still can't understand why girls these days won't just respect themselves.

Roaming about naked in a boyfriends house.

Oladelepsy001:
You want to know more about yourself, even the exact spot your umbilical cord was buried and about your lineages? Go and join politics

This had me in stitches

Anything diggable will be dug.

I thought GRVs wife would have learnt something this election that it was the same tweets of her husband that caused all the katakata in the first place.

She is now talking on the same Twitter which will be dug in the future whenever they attempt politics again. Don't just know how some peeps can't learn, zero tact.

She's just adding more to the fire. There's a time to keep silent.

After selling lands for decades the land owners will always try to find a means to 'renew' agreements once the area becomes a prime area. As far as I am concerned that re negotiate means they want to re sell the land.

Well the claim is all lands are leased for a while (I guess 99 years) some are beginning to peg it at 30years after which you now re negotiate.

It's a cycle.

Some are not given as maids to be paid salary but the children are given out to couples so that the couples will take 'care' of them. The maid helps around the house while the couple are responsible for feeding schooling etc etc.

It might be non relatives but also common with relatives, someone from the husband's or wife's family sends their child to live with the couple mostly from those who can't cater from their child.

I feel the principle is supposed to be the same when your younger sibling comes to live with you, you protect and take care of her while the child is useful around the house but most maltreat the so called maids who are under 18.

If direct siblings can be maltreated, how much more distant relatives or non relatives The solution still is let parents take care of their children themselves just that sometimes life happens and there is no choice other than to ship these younglings out to relatives and non relatives.

I have seen this work for some people though, the children were treated well and trained up to tertiary level, I know one personally and those who don't know the story won't know she isn't the wife's sister she should be about 21 now, people's lives still get changed for the better by living with somebody from a tender age.

Mindlog:
Nigeria is very low on that!

I was awed throughout the project, how those folks kept records of all that was significant for their progenies....I really learnt big on wars, escapes, deportations, re-entry, religious intimidations, outbreak of diseases etc that happen through those centuries.

I came off with the knowledge that no matter how Britiain wants to look prim and proper today, their ancestors were baddos as them show present day US and Canada shege!

Interesting..

Mindlog:
The Caucasians keep records!

I did a research project for someone who was writing a book on her family history, I had to start from 1684 when her progenitor arrived present day Canada from France.

Went through Catholic church records in different Canadian provinces where
their births, baptism, marriages and deaths were registered.

Nice, ordinary primary school attended here 40 years later you might not have a trace of it especially private schools.

Nigeria needs a solid database especially of births marriages etc etc.

Funny enough my PG project supervisor told me something similar same thing she said she can't relate with our African male child brouhaha because in about 2 generations of her husband's family nobody has had a girl all boys. she now had 2 girls , she said see jubilation loool she was now a superstar.

bukatyne:
This is so funny!

Vanish Kwa?

Yeah vanish abi is there any other way to describe holding a management meeting with the individual present, issues were discussed, the person would have contributed oo only for you to hear the person has japaed 3 days later no letter nothing just disappear, the funniest part was now that 3 different peeps in a critical department did it.

The oga patapata who came back from this same UK himself and was appointed to head was like there are ways to do these things you don't spoil this ground because you are seeking another ground, you tidy up properly because you never can tell.

Lots who have jobs with good govt agencies are japaing without tidying up at their offices, I don't understand why a level 16-17 officer will just vanish without any paper work, at least apply for sabbatical leave.

Haha business studies, learnt only the very basics. I also carried typewriter to school that portable one.

Mum actually went to Pitman college London in the late 70s, she was/is so prolific in this stuff, she also typed fast, learnt my first typing from her typewriter.

It was so essential to being a confidential secretary back then but laslas she also learnt computer with us

What was your role in all of this because all I kept hearing was my husband this my husband that, you mean you didn't even at some point try to stand up for that boy?

Is it by force to read pharmacy?

Your husband is to blame madam and unfortunately it seems you couldn't do anything about it, don't you have some kind of influence over your husband.

This whole issue started from the you must study pharmacy palava.

How about just telling him normally.


These trips are they road trips?

Wish them the best

Those saying it will not last how sure are you? people got married at this age when things were good, it's just the way things are these days that's why there's late marriage.

Nothing wrong in starting early with proper guidance.