₦airaland Forum

I am waiting. You only wish you had a husband like mine who loves and cherishes his family. You have directly referred to my children and my husband. Are you are miserable woman that will never be content until she has bagged a husband? What is it about my family that has got you all bent out of shape.  Let me advice you, you can talk about my mother and my father or even my husband but DO NOT ever get stupid in your confounded life and talk about my children and then top it all off with talking about God. That God should lead me. LOL. I just left the issue with my children to focus on the posters issues but this is just generally an advice to you. I will wait till friday because your "research" might help me help people who will actually benefit from the information.

If you bring just one case it might give the poster more hope. You know some people like to deal in facts. So I am sure if he is leaning in that direction that case will really help him. Nonsense. The fact is that there is likely none and you know it. I can bet you that if the poster ignores your ranting and focuses on himself he will be in a much better place in a couple of years. Not bitter and completely depleted because of the wild goose chase you sent him on.

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=626154.msg7958807#msg7958807 date=1300748606]Poster:

This writer IS SPOT ON!!!!

I have been in the court system for differing reasons in the U.S. and have WON EVERY CASE I have been involved with and I HAVE COUNSELED my different attorneys - DOCUMENTATION AS WELL AS LETTERS FROM FAMILY MEMBERS AND NEIGHBORS IF YOU CAN OBTAIN THEM WOULD BE OF PRICELESS ASSISTANCE ON YOUR BEHALF AS WELL.  It is critical that whoever works with you on a legal side - YOU NEED TO PROVIDE DOCUMENTATION and the writer above KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE IS TALKING ABOUT - MAKE SURE YOU HEED HIS EVERY WORD if this has to go as far as going to court.

Again - I will look into the law students I mentioned earlier - I will post on Friday - I should have heard something by then. 

If you can afford an attorney the optimal and ideal would be to follow the above writer's direction but as stated I will post information I received as well on your behalf.  University of Michigan has a law school and their law students would be able to assist you in this matter.  The majority of Law Schools nowadays has law students that are itching to take cases just to prove their worth.[/quote]Bring one case. Most of these cases we can pull up the information. Bring one similar case. Only one o. I will look it up and we can say you are not lying. Just site one case. I am patiently waiting

Irresponsible men at large. I have not seen one responsible married man on NL (we actually have a few) come into this thread yet so I will reserve my comment. Until one of them comes in here and says that they will let their pregnant wife go to a foreign land and in the two years they are gone bag a masters and give birth to a child and at the same time run a small business to keep things going then I will say I must have under estimated the strength of some women. I have had two children in this country with no family near. If my husband was not a hands on dad I would have gone mad. It is hell but the joys of being a mother is the only thing that keeps you going. That woman probably made that phone call to the poster from a psychiatric hospital because the only way she could have had that baby and raised him alone for two years and on top of that pass her classes is if she had to shut down her brain. It is almost not possible. I cannot imagine the hell she had to have gone through. I wish the poster will come here and say I sent her so so and so amount every month. Then I can begin to understand. I am not saying he is evil but I am saying without a doubt in my mind that if he truly put his wife in such an unbelievably difficult situation he really should not be surprised that she is saying bye. You can call her a ho or accuse her of being drawn to the dark side or say that America changed her but even the lowest of lowest of person should see that this man should have manned up for his family. For the females that say she is wrong even from what the husband has said pray that you get the exact same kind of man. Say Amen. This should be a learning experience for the poster. Next time do not stay apart from you wife for a long period of time and do not place demands on your spouse that you would place on yourself.

emmatok:
@ Outstrip

You must be a very heartless woman/mother.

That useless woman ran away with the man's son. And you are here saying the man is "fighting a losing battle" to get his son back.

Is that a mockery of the situation?

Well let me tell you MRS IGNORAMUS, the legal system in US do award child custody based on gender or sex. But on RESPONSIBILITY.

If the court has enough evidence that the woman is not responsible, the child custody goes to the man and Vice-versa.

For your information both parents(MAN AND WOMAN) are not even US citizens and that makes it easier.

Can you please grow up. You sound like a two year old. Name one person you know who went through similar (man or woman) who got the child back. People divorce everyday. He needs to accept it and see what he can do to have a relationship with his child. This "go and take your child" or "get an international lawyer" thing is crap. He is obviously a young man. He can remarry and one day he will see his child. Right now is not the time to start making threats when he still has a good chance of seeing his child. If he approaches this ignorantly he will lose this child. He almost basically gave her address to someone on this site from the silly encouragement people were giving him. Do you even understand that that is enough to cause problems for him. This is not Nigeria. There are rules. You follow the rules and for the most part you will be fine. I sensed desperation in him. Nobody makes an intelligent decision when they are desperate. Maybe one day when you grow up you will understand these things. I am just going to assume that you are 22 years old and so have no true life experiences with things like this

Michelin89 is likely right. She might just be disgusted with men because of what she went through. Also you have to take into account that when you expose a child at such a young age to sex they tend to experiment with it. She and her sister probably experimented with what they did not fully understand. I do not believe that she was born liking women like some people are. I think it is something that she simply got exposed to. She should get some counseling. That might give some clarity to the situation. @ Poster goodluck. Support your sister and don't turn against her. At the end of the day you have to be true to yourself to live in peace with yourself.

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=626154.msg7957377#msg7957377 date=1300732229]@ OP

AGAIN!!  I stand by what I wrote earlier - EVERY WORD!  Get an attorney - your thousands of dollars that you paid to support the unworthy, traitor of a wife proves that you can afford an attorney and you will be paying a WHOLE lot less for an attorney than you did for her education.  TRUST ME!  The wife was so double crossing that the many, many law students over in the U.S. take cases to prove their self worth.  I will look around for you this week - those students might even take the case for FREE or for very little money.

@ outstrip

Obviously you don't have SONS and if you ever birth one - listening to you speak here on NL - I PITY ANY SON YOU DO BIRTH or grandchildren you might have one day.  I wish on you and your future son what this man is going through.  I bet my $$$$ you will sing a TOTALLY different song.  Because no longer will it be a stranger experiencing this - but your own grandchild you won't see because of a VERY SELFISH WIFE as you watch your son being robbed by his wife of his money, his honor, his dignity and his child.

Egusi THAT!  Ogbonno[/quote]Eyah. Sorry o that it is hurting you like this. I do have two sons but don't worry about them. It is your mother who made the bad choice of not aborting the animal she was carrying that I feel sorry for . Don't worry about my sons. Focus your time and money to pay for the international lawyer that you swear the poster needs to fight a losing battle.  I am sure as long as my sons stay away from your blood line we will be fine. We will not mix with low grade swine. Pele my dear. My sincere sympathy to your mother

So sad. The ultimate sacrifice

emmatok:
Did you read what you wrote here.

You seems to be in support of that  lady's action.

So the modern  why to divoce your hubby is to travel to the US and make a phone call telling him you are not longer interested in the marriage.

Well for your information, her traveling document(PASSPORT, VISA, TICKET .et al) will indicates she is married.

And if her husband reports her to the US Embassy with necessary evidence. I can tell you that she is at the risk of being deported back to Nigeria.

Go and check the  conditions of getting a visa at the US Embassy in Nigeria.

Please tell me how shes gonna renew her VISA using her ex-hubby's SURNAME without proper divorce.

As for the kid he has the full right to contact the his child. And there is noting you can do about it.

I am supporting the woman because I said she did what she already did? Ok. She can divorce him if she wants to and then keep using his name if she chooses. It is now her legal name. It does not change anything. As for her Visa expiring he can definitely call and report her but I have a feeling that she is smart enough to get things rolling so that she does not get deported or break any rules. If he tries these games and it still does not work in his favor i.e having her deported what are the chances that she would make it easy for him to see his child. Nobody has said here that he has no right to see his child. I have said it a couple of times already and so have others. So I am not sure why you are hitting your head on a brick wall over what everyone here already knows. That is his God given right as the baby's father but legally there is more to it unfortunately.

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=626154.msg7955196#msg7955196 date=1300713698]CORRECTION - U.S. LAW

You keep saying "you" - like "I" am encouraging or leading the husband down the wrong path.

I live in the U.S. - I know what I speak - Couples that live in the U.S. - a woman tells a man it's over?  And they are married?  It doesn't work like that over here.  He still has children in the home.  Here - if you have a "ROOMMATE" - you can't tell them to get out of the house unless you put it in writing and give them a 30 day notice.  Unless they are violent - they are stuck in your home with you for the next 30 days and don't let them have a lease because they are with you until the end of the lease (364 days) - if they are meeting the requirements in that lease -you are stuck with them until the end of the lease.

She can verbalize whatever she wants to verbalize to him - in a marriage over here it doesn't work like that - you will be sharing that home with that spouse that you no longer want anymore as long as the spouse isn't violent - there is no "get out I don't want you anymore crapola" - If they have children - the children BELONG TO BOTH OF THEM NOT HER ALONE.  This isn't his baby mama - this is his wife.  The courts decide who gets the children - she doesn't decide.  

Also if she files her divorce in Michigan - Michigan Law dictates and guess what boo boo - when placing the child several factors are reviewed - one of those factors is "who is the morally fit adult?"  http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/michigan.shtml (as soon as it comes to light that her husband has been paying for her education, upkeep, etc these past 2 years and their preplans) - THE MANNER IN WHICH SHE DUMPED HIM in the eyes of many, many people to include the court - she would definitely look MORALLY UNFIT and the court would wonder just how safe is the child in her care? -  the court takes that into consideration.  

Education doesn't necessarily mean a good paying job - she can be working at McDonald's hamburger restaurant with her new degree.  It is a recession over here - she needs much more than a Masters Degree to obtain good employment.  Let's hope she speaks clear and flawless English, has quite a few mentors and close friends that really like her and will help her obtain employment.  Because the child will be placed with the adult that can prove they can care for the child better then the other parent.  Her husband very well could get THEIR child.

This is his wife - and his child - @ Poster - get a lawyer - don't listen to the rantings of those that know not what they speak and they are speaking from "emotion."

Find out your rights - because buddy you definitely have quite a few in the U.S.  Also international law will also come into play is my calculated guess - she isn't a citizen yet - so I'm not sure which law would take precedent in this situation.  But don't give up.  The child belongs to both of you.  Not just her.[/quote]He is not a roommate. Never stepped in the US. What has not being able to throw your roommate out have to do with a woman living with a child in HER apartment. Most likely even on campus since she is an international student. You are saying that maybe he will get a visa and then move in with his wife by force because he is her husband and father of the child LMAO. Na wa oh. It just will not happen. You are giving him false hope when he should do the mature thing and move on. None of your gra gra or international lawyer crap will work. Will you pay for an international lawyer? LOL. Geez. His "international lawyer" will take the money and nothing will come out of it.
I am sure working at McDonald's is still better than selling cray fish and egusi while going to school. What judge in the US will you tell that your child support for the last 2 years was egusi and ogbonno. Please don't let this man suffer any further embarassment. Even if he lives in the US and they are legally married but live separately he cannot just walk into her apartment. He does not own her. He would still need to wait to see his child. That is the truth and reality. Face it. As for me calling you a kidnapper because we don't agree anybody that read what I wrote can clearly see where I was coming from. With your way of thinking you would encourage your brother to keep a child past the visitation agreement simply because you are mad.

obailala:
@ceasyc and jay bee

[size=17pt]Cheiii!!!![/size] This is the height of Bad belle and jealosy. Wetin concern u if she dey enjoy free healthcare? . . Because u are being taxed heavily so u want everybody to suffer the same fate with u?  Which kain bad belle all these not-doing-well Nigerians in diaspora get sef?

With the way these useless british people are fleecing me with taxes here, i would be very very happy if more of my fellow Nigerians can come here and enjoy the awoof. . .Haterz!!

Your taxes are going up because people are misusing the system. Wait for more Nigerians to come here and enjoy awoof (whatever that means) and your taxes will keep going up. SMH

[quote author=Shy-One link=topic=626154.msg7954925#msg7954925 date=1300710995]author=Outstrip link=topic=626154.msg7952242#msg7952242 date=1300667458]
OHHHH YES HE CAN! I don't know where you got this information - but ACCORDING TO US LAW - HE MOST DEFINITELY can walk into his wife's home and remove HIS CHILD.

They are STILL MARRIED - she can tell him whatever she wants to tell him - she can have a change of heart and not want to be married any longer but until she gets a lawyer and officially files papers - he can fly to the U.S. - move into the home WITH HER, eat, sleep, etc - until she gets a lawyer and files papers. She is OFFICIALLY HIS WIFE. He can take his child as well. From Nigeria - He can hire a lawyer in the U.S. to take his child and prosecute her as well as demand his monies back in the divorce proceedings that he paid on her education. She can be garnished (her wages) on any job she acquires and he can be paid.

I don't know where you are getting your information. He has a whole lot of options. She can't just tell him over the phone it's over. As a husband in the U.S. he definitely has options where she knows it or not. He needs to research Michigan Law and International Law as well. He should get a Michigan based attorney - MALE. She is not a girlfriend, she is a wife that has taken advantage - I don't care how she felt or if there were some problems - she pulled SOME HEINOUS CRAP.

If a woman had treated my brother (I have 2) in this manner - I would be ALL OVER HER like white on rice.[/quote]Please you can scream it from the roof tops all you want. He cannot take that child anywhere. YOU ARE WRONG. As a matter of fact if he takes him out of state not even the country he will be in serious trouble. You can get all sentimental. What do you mean that she cannot tell him it is over over the phone. That ship already sailed. She already told him that. Even if he moved to the states and becomes a citizen today he still will not be able to walk into that house and get that kid. He might be able to see his child but if he goes there with that gra gra mentality I can almost say with no doubt that he might not see that child again until the child is 18.
I have a brother and we can never advice him to separate from his wife of a few years to go chase a degree in another country knowing that he will not see her again for two years. Please. I would hope my brother would not fall for that. If she decides to move on from my brother then she has the doggone right. Who the hell am I to tell her to stay married to him. I would love to have a relationship with my nephew and it would be on me to kiss ass to make it happen for my brother and my family if he is a position were he cannot live in a country legally.
If she says she is moving on what the heck do you want her to do. Say I am moving on and here is your son? That is the most ridiculous thing I have heard. If at all he has sisters like you I would even advice her not to let any of you near the child because you seem like the kind of person that would kidnap that child if she lets him go to Nigeria to visit his dad.

emmatok:
He is Father of the child and not the US GOV.

Even if the mother will be given priority, the father still has the right to contact his child.

Good International Lawyers can get the sorted out within mouths.

EVEN YOUR OBAMA STILL KNOWS HE HAS A FATHER  SOME WHERE IN KENYA.

He is the father of the child not the owner. He cannot go repossess the child like it is property. You need to read what this poster was responding to. Also I am not sure what an international lawyer can do for him. The child is not in danger. He obviously has the right to contact his child but he certainly cannot just walk into his wife's home and remove that child.

The sultry actress, Oge Okoye who is married to the international bizman, Stanley Duru has just put to bed. The leggy queen of screen, Oge was delivered of a bundle of joy at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital, London. She left the country shortly after she was few months gone and may be returning back to the country with ‘Bigie Bigie Bouncing Baby’ by the time you finish reading this. She exclusively had a telephone conversation with ALONGE MICHAEL last where she talked about her joyful moments, motherhood and other issues. Excerpts

WHY HAVE YOU CHOSEN LONDON TO DELIVER YOUR BABY?
I feel more at ease in London than any other country. Don’t forget that I was born here too.


HOW DO YOU FEEL NOW THAT YOU’RE BLESSED WITH A BOY AND A GIRL?
I am so happy and thankful to almighty God for making me a complete woman. You know, the joy of every mother is to have a baby boy and a baby girl. Though, some parents love to attach importance to a particular gender, in our own case, we first had a boy and now a girl, we wouldn’t have wished for more. I feel great.

HOW DO YOU INTEND TO COPE WITH THE PRESSURE OF RAISING TWO KIDS CONSIDERING YOUR CAREER AS AN ACTRESS?
That’s not an issue at all. When I had my first baby, I got a lot of help from my mum and my domestic staff too.
http://www.nigeriafilms.com/news/8775/5/exclusive-nollywood-diva-oge-okoye-talks-about-mot.html


LOL. This was from August of last year. I just realized something also. Sometimes Nigerian journalist might copy and paste stuff because I swear this one sounds like other ones that I have read. Maybe just maybe they are the ones making it sound like a big deal and not Oge Okoye

Comprehension is key. I don't think anybody here has said she is a devil for having children in the UK. The first time I ever read any thing about her was about 2 years ago and she talked about how she was a british citizen so all her kids must be born there. I read another one again and it was the same story. This is the third interview were she is talking about once again being born in the UK. For her it is a status thing which to most people is silly. No one is saying that she should not have her kids in the UK. As a matter of fact the people who are saying that people are hating on her are probably in the same boat as she because you obviously feel that she has "arrived" simply because she got in a plane and landed in a foreign land.

cold:
Like what exactly?You're so bent on playing the devil's advocate for the woman.Making excuses that fly in the face of common sense.
@op this marriage has broken down irreparably,you have no choice but to move on,i know it's easier said than done but you just have to.I feel your pain

cold are you married and do you have kids? Did you ever leave your wife alone with a new born and a bag of garri and expect that she would be okay? The little he has said makes it obvious that there is more to the story. I agree that he needs to move on but it cannot have come as a surprise. In most cases it is not a surprise and in this case it certainly should not be.

Ivynwa:
@poster
What started all these growing apart between you two is the distance that separated you. How about bridging that distance and making effort to go meet her there and discuss things out, that move may save the marriage or give you a clear direction of what to do instead of getting worked up about what she said on the phone. Take it easy, things may sort itself out for good you never know.

Do they give out Visas to stop marriages from breaking up? It's not as easy as that.

ceasyc:
most def = true talk but d 9ja part gats a long way to go tho

oge is a very close friend of one of my close gf who was also born in the uk but raised in 9ja

she confirmed that oge was born in the uk and raised in 9ja too

they both have british passport

but d oge gal is too snobbish so i didnt care to meet her whenever i was told she was in london visiting n at my friend's place

but my younger sista met her with my friend and d snobbishness was confirmed.

a snob 4 wetin na? cos your british or 9ja actress or almost ugly gal? SMH

I get that vibe from her interviews I have read. I wish she would brag about something else. Like a charity she is sponsoring or maybe her education or something that makes sense. The fact is that many of us are citizens of other countries and our children are and especially in this age it is not that big a deal. Most people who have the opportunity to do it might do it. It is not a big deal. She makes it a big deal that is why she comes across as tacky and classless. She just sounds so mgbeke(bush person) to me. Among her peers she cannot boast of being as accomplished. I don't even know the woman so why am I going on and on.

She has beautiful eyes. People pay good money for eyes like that. Congratulations to them.

We haven't heard the whole story. From the little I have heard things just do not add up. The first part is I have never heard of someone selling foodstuff sent from Nigeria to makes ends meet. That seems weird to me. The other thing is that while she is getting her masters degree and also raising an infant it would have been virtually impossible for her to be able to sustain herself. You never said anything about supporting her financially besides the foodstuff you sent her. If you were supporting her financially I would imagine that you would have posted it in the initial posts. So I guess my question is how did your wife who was getting her masters and raising an infant cope without your financial support for two years. I think the first step in moving on is for you to be honest with yourself on were you might have not stepped up to the plate. She has moved on I think you should try. The only part that I am really sad for you about is the child. He deserves to know his father and as it is now I don't think that that is very likely

Thank God he is okay. Hopefully he did not shoot himself as a publicity stunt

I really hope that this is an old interview because she stood out to me because I remembered her shouting from the top of the hills about how she was born in the UK and so will her kids. She is just trashy to me.

They will soon start a facebook page in her support

The man irritates me

Very possible. She can always move out if he intends to dish out that sort of treatment.

I wish I could embed that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRi2Szbx2NI

N500.00 a day is great if the food is so bad nobody will eat it. The hospital charges 500 people and cook enough for 10 people because nobody else will eat the crap they serve. No patient should be forced to eat hospital food. This is another way that organizations in Nigeria (with approval from Nigerians of course) mistreat people. If they want to keep it fair then charge more and make it a cafeteria. If the food is bad then people will not patronize them. If it is good then they will get paid. That is the only thing that is just. Everything else is basically the staus quo. Oppression and in this case the oppressed are probably the most vulnerable people. Wickedness

This is serious. I never cooked for a boyfriend what I did not want to cook. She is your girlfriend. You are not worthy until you put a ring on it.