₦airaland Forum

ademola2017:
In 2017, i expressed my deep concerns on nairaland about my now ex wife double dating game before we got married, her attitude towards me and how the relationship was one sided.

I got several advices to let her go but decided to give the marriage another chance but it eventually crashed in March 2022. We did all we could to save the marriage but to no success. We were done patching. No child was involved and absolutely nothing to show for the marriage after 8years of being together. I still feel the pain but it gets better everyday.
I credit myself for not cheating on her till our last days together and even months after our separation.

After several months of being celibate, I had sex with a young 25year old lady. I met her through a family friend 2 months before she got pregnant

Just one intercourse, she became pregnant. At first, i doubted it because I laboured very hard to father a child for 8yrs and with just one sexual intercourse, someone is carry my baby?? with me being very knowledgable about calculating ovulation dates and timely intercourse, it conformed so I had to accept the pregnancy as a sign from God.

Deep down, my new partner and I do not love each other but the respect for each other is on point. We have ZERO expectations from each other. We communicate well and have started living together in peace. No arguements, no drama and no issues at all.

I changed my mindset by taking her as my younger sister and she does same by taking me as an older brother.

It feels strange to be at so much peace with someone that I dont love at all. Our baby is coming and I am scared things may change when the true reality sets in.

What do you guys think?

PEETAS:
As i earlier said on this plattform about a small tortoise i caught last week, the size is a palm of a man. Truly i don't if the tortoise is eating because i tried most of it local food and vegetables but it seems not to be eating. Please what should i do because am thinking of returning it back to the bush where i found it. I put it in a bucket with half sand which i wet it with water and the tortoise will go underground while its food is on top.

AlphaDavid:
Am very disturbed right now. Just discovered this growth in my genitals. It's small but from what am seeing it looks like genital warts. I read that it's an STI and it's been months I had unprotected sex. Can't figure out how. How has anyone treated this thing before, like home remedies or over the counter drugs cos I don't even have any cash for hospitals at the moment. And is there any test to diagnose it plus how much does it cost.

Johnholt909:
Hey guys, these are the three main reasons women out there break up with you.

Reason #1. She found another guy.

Reason #2. She's exceptionally smart and emotionally mature, and she realizes that you're not what she's looking for in a long term relationship.

Reason #3. You stopped doing all the things that got her attracted to you in the first place.

Guys, whenever a woman is really interested in you especially a pretty woman, then you have to play a little bit hard to get. And that's the key in making fall in love more.

Rubyjade:
From DM

HelpfulBro:
I'm a young man and still living with my parents and sisters. I earn some good amount of money and I'm doing okay for myself, I try as much as I can to help my family out with food stuff for example I've helped with 100k for food stuff from now till December and did a little things too like support my mom and help my dad but I'm very unhappy with my sisters and mom.


My sisters always verbally abuse me by insulting me when I don't do something for them and try to make feel guilty for not giving them what they ask for, when I try to set boundaries like what I don't like they tell me to shut up that I'm the junior that I'm talking rubbish

Just this Morning while I was still getting up with sleep in my eyes and praying they started banging my door that light meter has finished and I should come and pay but I was confused so I just didn't respond till I finished praying and came out. Before I did she was already shouting that they should leave me since I don't want to answer and she'll put #200 naira own if that what I want.

She injured her leg from the door while she was going out side to do it and now she's blaming me that I'm the reason why it happened to her, saying I'm still her junior and I don't have sense that why would I not answer her. I'm shocked and I told her how I'm I the problem and I just literally woke up, I just told them that I hate them and now she's insulting me more

I don't respond but I'm getting very angry at this and I'm looking for a way to leave the house and relocate, they are my older sisters and they don't even work or do anything but I don't say it to their faces but I don't see why they don't give me mutual respect at all

guobe:
Nothing Person No Go See For Internet.which Kind Pic Of Keep Fearing Women Is Th

The Internet in Nigeria has turned into a mad avenue.just saw this pic on my Facebook timeline with the caption keep fearing women. nawa.

Abisolababe:
Back to my previous post where my boss sacked me because I ask for our four month salary
I really want to thank the whole nairalanders for their love support advice and financial support when you all heard my story.
I pray the good Lord will continue to provide and bless each and everyone of you, you will never lack any good things of life, the Lord will reward you multiple fold...
I decided not to be a wasteful spending, I quite understand the economy situation of Nigeria, I have decided to venture into going into business with the little donations I received on this platform
Initially, I wanted to get a shop and get equipment for my hairdressing but I realise the capital won't be enough , and also food business also require a huge capital to start.
I actually came up with an idea and decided I will be selling Nigerian and American film.
I also got a flutter waves POS machine

I will be saving up money when I'm making profit so I can get a shop of my own

Thanks for your support

Domaining101:
Please Nairalanders I'm in serious trouble
So i just recently moved into the house my father just rented for me of recent ohh and because I've been a virgin all through my life (currently 22), immediately i moved into the new neighborhood, my main aim was to get a girlfriend and have the sex I've never been privileged to have while living with my parents.

I met this girl about a month ago and we officially started dating So last Saturday, we were chatting on WhatsApp, i initiated an argument about her ability to cook, i just wanted to use style to bring her to my place so that we can have sex. So on Sunday evening we had sex without condom, only for this girl to call me this afternoon to tell me that she's pregnant for house wey my papa rent for me wey never reach two months I don't even know where to start please. I've told her not to tell anyone for now, let's see if we can find a way to fix it because I'm not sure neither my father nor her mama will like that news...

I've been googling about postinor 2 but it seems that one has to be taken 72 hours after pregnancy and it seems too late now.
Please Nairalanders help me i beg you in the name of God almighty

Slawormir
Ilegend
Siofra
Jennyclay

TemplarLandry:
Ignorance is really a bad disease.
These ignoramuses don't know they type of government Germany operates.

BunbleBee:
I currently work in a top firm in the industry as a young graduate and fairly compensated but I seriously do not like the team I'm assigned to. My team members are great but I do not see myself doing what we do in team in many years to come. Additionally, what the team does limits me to this same thing within the industry and the number of opportunities as a whole. The tasks are repetitive and not as technical like I would love. This demotivates me and does not make me actively develop myself in this field. I do not find joy in it. I have tried many times to switch teams but that did not work out for me. I work with members from the team I would like to join and I always wished I was in that team.

I'm determined to change this as early as possible as I believe this is the best time to take risk. I have decided that if I can't switch to my dream team, then I would have to find this dream in another firm (most likely smaller with lesser prestige but with opportunity to learn valuable skills). However, I am confused on if this is a wise decision.

I need your advice on this drastic decision I need to take.

How low is low? Is there room for growth in the foreseeable future or can you build connections that would help you establish on your own?

Thank you all

Middleborn:
I just got a job offer in New Zealand, I am to earn 30 New Zealand dollars per hour.

I have been pursuing a career in academics and I currently run a PhD program in a federal University. I am currently in the field gathering my data.

Should i move to New Zealand or should I turn down the job to complete my PhD? Or is there a way to continue and finish my PhD program via video conferencing since I just have to present my research work.
Please help me. Tell me what may work in this situation.

ajuksobi:
THE MADNESS OF EATING AND DESTROYING EVERYTHING BEQUEATHED TO US BY NATURE

By:
Ajukura, Fidelis O.
ajukurafidelisobi@gmail.com
17th October, 2023.

What exactly is wrong with us? Right from the prehistoric time, we have constituted ourselves as threat to our natural environment by destroying everything therein. Our ignorance and refusal to understand the environment where we live has been most discomfiting. The black man has never been concerned in protecting and improving the aesthetic worth and value of his environment. His major concern has always been 'what to eat now'. It doesn't matter if the entire environment is destroyed, his priority is 'now' - eat today and die tomorrow. What foolishness! It is shocking that a large expanse of bush can be burnt down in order to kill a rat or rabbit for the purpose of food. Dangerous explosives and chemicals are often used in water bodies in order to catch fish. Whatever happens to the water thereafter is inconsequential. Trees are felled every day with renewed vigour without any plan for replacement. By destroying our forests, we destroy an array of different plants used in the creation of a variety of medications for humans.

Black man, out of his thoughtlessness has ruined the pristine environment that God almighty has given to him - he descends on everything within his environment without reservation, as if there will be no tomorrow. Today, we look at the beauty of certain foreign locations and wish they're ours. The truth is that we have never bothered to preserve the beauty of our own environment. Our stomachs are like gods that we must worship anytime they groan. In fact, we think through our stomachs.

Our environment is all that we have. For this reason, we must protect it with our might. In nature, everything is connected to each other through the food chain which ends up with us, humans. If we eat all the wildlife and destroy the forests, we are going to be the biggest losers because it will put us at the risk of extinction. Nature has carefully arranged everything such that destroying them will be catastrophic to our own existence. For instance, butterflies, birds, bees etc promotes pollination and saves native plant species for herbivores animals which in turn serve as meat to carnivores animals that end as food for man. When we begin to kill antelopes, impalas etc in their numbers this, obviously will create a deficit of food sources to wild cats. When this happens, it affects the population of the wild cats and other carnivores animals including man who is at the end of the food chain.

Few days ago, the news a young man from Ogbolobolo community in Ahoada West Local Government Area of Rivers State who killed a large animal known as manatee surfaced in the social media space. The young man was celebrated by his community for having killed such a mighty animal. In the olden days, such act of bravery would have launched the young man straight into the cult of warriors. The meat of such a mighty animal is shared according to the prescription of the peoples custom. In eating the meat, nobody cares if it's the last of its kind in the environment. They're just satisfied that they have eaten meat. What thoughtlessness! Like the manatee, many endangered animals that are at the verge of extinction have been consumed with great relish in the past. Only few months ago, a whale that was washed ashore in a Bayelsa coastline was reduced to nothing within minutes by the community people. In Rivers State, a giant marlin fish valued at over $2m was eaten by members of the community. Beside these, several other endangered species like; sea-turtles, dolphins, sharks etc have been caught and eaten.

For how long are we going to continue like this? Destroying our natural environment as well as eating up endangered animals will never do us any good. Instead, it will dislocate our heritage and culture. Above all it will threaten our own existence.

Let us learn to preserve/protect our forests and wildlife today!

prince10348:
Good day everyone. Please I looking to buy beans but don't really know where to get it and also cheap because I will be buying in large quantity.

Your advice is highly welcome.

SatanKeepOff:
I am currently working as an accountant in an oil company based in Nigeria. I have been with this company for three years but initially started as a contract worker for two years before being promoted to the position of assistant supervisor last year.

In my department, we were three accountants sharing the same office, but we had no manager. Instead, we had an assistant manager, an account officer, and myself. With hard work and dedication, I managed to become the best among us. However, earlier this year, the management decided to restructure the department. As a result, they removed my superiors and employed someone at my level and a manager.

Now, my boss is learning the job from me, and the newly employed lady is also at the same level as I am. However, my boss claims that I cannot be promoted because I am not superior to the newly employed lady. The issue is that both my boss and the new lady are learning the job from me, and I believe that I deserve to be promoted since I am already good at the job.

I have talked to my boss several times about this issue, and he still refuses to promote me, stating that there is no superior among us(myself and the new lady). Please, what can I do in this situation?

tctrills:
So you mean churches, are pastors are not important in our spiritual journey?
Again, if the church isn't important, why did Christ lay his life for the church?
Ephesians 5:27

27 He gave his life for the church so that one day he can look at the church and see that the people are great and wonderful. The people of the church must have no dirty spot or wrinkle or any thing like that. But they are to be holy and good.

tctrills:
Today, there are all manner of churches with different teachings and doctrines. Do all of them lead to the kingdom of heaven?
If not, what should one look out for before aligning with a church.
Please don't mention "a bible believing church," because all christian organizations believe in the bible one way or the other.

Nairaland1stson:
I have suspicion that someone wants to use my account to launder money. A lady visited my shop demanding to purchase goods worth millions of naira she was so much in a hurry or desperate for someone who intends to perform such transactions. She was accompanied by a man she claimed to be her sick husband, two kids, and another young man. She claimed she needed to perform the transaction as soon as possible so she could travel down to a neighboring state for her husband's treatment.

There was no much negotiations as it seemed she was the one begging for the goods to be sold to her. After confirmation she said I should bring my POS machine so she could make a transfer, I already had suspicions on her so I told her i didn't have one and besides who would want to perform transactions worth millions of naira with a POS machine mode of payment. I suggested that she heads to the bank or make a transfer from her mobile app, which she shrugged off immediately like it was not even an option.

The young man with her insisted I get a POS vendor so that the transaction can be made which I declined and told them that there were many around the vicinity that they can go get one if they wish to. The young man left and returned a few minutes later with one, when they arrived the woman suddenly said she was scared and needed to invite the person who referred her to our place. She called this person and he arrived shortly, he was someone known to us in the past but not well known. She then requested that I get another POS vendor, which I suggested that they should get back the previous vendor they invited earlier. The young man went back again and returned with the vendor. The woman gave the vendor a debit card, which the vendor tried pulling the whole money at once, but it didn't go.(exceeded limit) The POS vendor then proceeded to split the money and it was successful. So she was only able to make part payment for the goods.

They were about to leave when I reminded them that I was supposed to issue a receipt for the part payment deposited into my account. Which I did later, and they left. Fast forward to the evening same day, she called me claiming that her husband's health was demanding much, and she wouldn't be in need of what she purchased earlier that I would have to refund her immediately.

What rose my suspicions on them are:

1. The acclaimed husband of hers, whom she claimed had stroke as at when they visited the shop, I saw him earlier when they alighted from a Keke napep which dropped them across the road and he was walking very fine but when they began to approach my shop he began to limp like he couldn't walk properly and the woman held his hand for assistance (they didn't know that I had seen him earlier walking properly without any form of aid) when they were at the shop, the acclaimed husband who had stroke sat and crossed his legs, is that even possible for someone suffering from a stroke?

2. Why would they insist on only POS mode of payment (for a transaction worth millions)

3. Why would a woman whose acclaimed husband is sick with stroke decide to perform such a transaction (her pirioty should be making sure her husband is taken care of medically)

4. I know you must be wondering what it is she bought, but I will not be disclosing such for privacy reasons (Hint: it is a single item)

5. She was incoherent when I asked for the name and address that would be added to the receipt (it seemed like she was guessing the name and address)

What are your thoughts? Should I refund the money immediately, if I will, what are the measures to be taken to ensure I am on a safe side

Serendipity2023:
I had been toasting this girl for few months on and off.

She visited two times; we kissed, smooched but never allowed me to have proper intimacy with her.

Then third time, after pre-intimacy, she was very aroused, and then asked for a condom.

I wore it, and was still touching her. She drew me closer to penetrate her womanhood and my manhood failed.

My manhood went flaccid. It shrinked.

All efforts to resurrect it failed. She was so upset.

She waited for few hours, nothing.

She was visibly angry and left.

I felt like drowning in an ocean.

My esteem was shattered. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed.


I think I didn't have enough libido because I had slept with a different girl a day before her visit.

Or was it just anxiety, malaria, etc?

FOR MEN,

HOW DO WE MAINTAIN LIBIDO AND STRONG BEDROOM HEALTH?

HoqueBD:
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EvergreenDiarie:
Thank you for the prompt comment, I have seen videos of people doing that off the sea and they are doing well. I am still researching how to get success on it without the connection to the sea water.

EvergreenDiarie:
I am so fascinated to go into lobster and prawn farming. I wonder if there is anyone in Nigeria doing it, I want to learn all the processes.

Zeal0000007:
Married couples who came back to reconcile with their ex and marry please advice me.

I and my gal have been together for a long period of time at a point we had to cohabit. I supported part of her school, thank God she will be graduating few months from now. We separated January this year, our relationship is 7 years older, reasons we stayed that long was because we were just growing up, i was 23 in my year 3 in school , while she was 18 writing her weac. This is someone i later engaged . Initially when she left me and parked out of my house I had to full my hands and watch her leave 7years of what we built . when she left, she couldn't stay without me unfortunately where she went to, she had to call and be disturbing me and I paid deaf ears , out of this she fall into depression and her bp rised , she was admitted twice in the hospital.

She had to recover with different people , today she has alot of different people she's seeing , unfortunately she's actually exploring life now, many people have asked me to let her be for now, though I was her first experience ( I deflowered her), that if she's mine, she will definitely come back, I have tried for the past 7 months now to move on I can't, and efforts to bring her back has provened abortive though we've been communicating but rght now i ended the communication . I have been at home now unemployment for a while now. My career is still young and a very good one as at that, just that it has not began paying yet.

People advice me to pray that God should bless me so I could call her back . Deep inside of me I'm just imagining how will our love life look like if we eventually come back after separating for a while. How will sex look like ? Knowing that she must have slept with a lot of persons. people who came back together please share your experience, I still love and want her to come back so we settle down, if you ask her , she will tell u that I'm still in her mind.

Gentlelox:
I have been to more than 100 relationships and have had several sex mates companion and i must say that the "love" people assume from their spouse is ironic. It doesn't exist.

When i was a teenager, i had a married woman that would come to my house after dropping her children off to school. The husband worked as a civil servant and throughout the morning until afternoon, we would spend quality times in my room. She was in her mid 40s. So beautiful and endowed with a low cut on her hair. And then she would say awful things about her husband. Terrible stuffs.

My friend had a fu*kmate that was about getting married in about a week. We were still in school when this one happened. The girl would call my friend and beg him to meet her and even promised him special dinner. They would sex and pour out her true feelings. She just had to marry the man but that doesn't mean they won't continue their sex affairs.


Recent surveys in Lagos had shown that 85% of women are guilty of paternity fraud. This is a novelty, so let me break it down. It means, they would get pregnant by paul and give the baby to Silas as the father depending on how it favours them. This is the true nature of woman from time immemorial and it not just in Nigeria but all over the world.

Your marriage comes as a condition and it not an undying longing to be with you forever, whatever forever means to you. Conditions as timing(her age), money, dependence tendencies, escape etc. It always about something and when that thing is taken away, your value is of no essence. So it very easy for married woman to cheat. Just like me, life becomes boring most times and you need to spicy it up with a bit of excitement, that excitement can't be gotten from the man she sees everyday. And when she gets caught, she blames it on the devil or brings up silly excuses for doing it. The truth is, you can't stop a woman from being a woman, a lying two face creature. You can't make a woman love you without a condition attached to it.

For relationship, mostly those in early 20s or teenage relationship, it mostly looks, the dressing of the guy, the class factor, his hairdo, his budgets is a less condition here. So to win a young girl, learn to dress proper and smell good. Have class and watch them flow. Their condition for love at this period is very cheap.

So when you marry that woman, remember that the love comes at a price. It's not free. There is something she is after and that what she actually loves.

And that relationship of yours, it a condition, and not love. The only person that a woman can love "unconditional" is her child. And even she gets bored of the man, she can decide to stay with the man because she wants the child to have a reasonable family background.

Lastly, your wife can kill you. If her condition can be easily meant with your exterminator, she would gladly eliminate you. But this is not always easy that's why it not common but it happens. No matter what, don't trust that woman, don't trust that wife, don't trust the mother of your children. Life has no duplicate.

I come in peace

essentialone:
Abusive husbands didn't fall from the sky, someone raised a boy wrongly.

Your 3years old son gets angry whenever you give him food he doesn't want and throws it on you, you laugh and say "😃😃 children ehh".

Baby boy will lift his hands and slap you when he wants you to drop him...All you'd say is "you're beating mummy 😃"

No other child in that area messes with him...And you're calling him "A no- nonsense boy"

He picks up things from the ground and hits people whenever he's stopped from doing something...You smile and call him "action boy😃🤾🏿‍♂️🤸🏽‍♂️"

You expose him to all manner of violence and say "He's a man, man suppose get mind"

Few years down the line the teenage boy bullies his sisters, commands them around, shares slaps as souvenirs to anyone that dares to challenge him.
You call him "man of the house"😃

He grew up having his way all through. Now he's a full grown man in the society. And it's not funny anymore.

Abusive husbands didn't fall from the sky, someone raised a boy wrongly.

*IT'S EASIER TO TRAIN A SON THAN TO CORRECT A HUSBAND.*

We could address a lot from the root.

Sorry if you’ve been hurt with this post ?

But! This is just the Fact 👌🤷‍♀️

May Almighty God make it easy for us all AmennN 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

Collinsade369:
Canon 80d camera still available

Kobojunkie:
My Mistake! I mistook you for another poster.

Kobojunkie:
You made what seemed a case for the man's inadequate contribution to be considered all he can bring to the table. Commonsense should then follow that the other adult in the household should equally go out and do their to bring in any extra, or is this not an acceptable resolve when the provider is not able ti meet demands?