₦airaland Forum

coogar:
what about their finances? i think that is often the issue when it comes to marriage in this generation.
a far majority of the ladies think only about the wedding and not the marriage itself. all they want is a glamorous wedding, a fat rock on their finger, a stunning wedding dress and exotic drinks/food at the reception. that is how far they think. they don't even want to know if their partners have enough in his tank to start a family or face the challenges that lie ahead.

I am assuming that every learned lady knows there's a difference between a marriage and a wedding. If she doesnt know then she is not yet ready for marriage.

there are different kinds of men. some men would marry regardless of what the future holds for them. i will not marry any woman if i am not sure my finances can guarantee a life of luxury for her and the unborn children. those are the issues. so it's not about failing to commit and defining it. sometimes the issue is about money and mostly the mental part of it .

Makes sense but instead of luxury,'comfortable' should have been best. Most couple at the time of marriage have just enough to live comfortably. The luxuries come later when resources are pulled and couples work hard to gain wealth. Now if you are waiting for the luxurious life before saying I do, you might miss on God given opportunities. And yes financial stability is necessary before walking down that aisle.

oh ye weaker s[i]e[/i]x of little faith!

the moment a man says let's take it slow - a woman starts pulling off. she loses faith completely and she's seeking other options. while she's doing that, the man is doing his math. how to get a house comfortable to house his newly wed, how to put money in his savings account for the coming child, etc. the woman is now making herself available for her other admirers. then one day, she gets unlucky and her partner finds out she's been flirting lightly with some other blokes. he's vexed and he kicks her out. then the myth that men are evil is reborn!

2 cases have been discussed here(romance) regarding this very issue. If you dont define that 'take it slow well'then you live her to the wolves.
To some women it could mean 'he finds me less desirable cz he's met another lady'. Thats how some females think. You can take it slow but keep the action going.After all actions will speak louder.(phone calls,dates evrything remains but slow).
What most guys do during the 'go slow' is withdraw,go MIA then resurface and expect to find a girl where they left her?

mobf:
Funny, but a lady should know if her man is serious enough about her to make her his wife.
Thing with most guys is that once you start asking where the relationhip's headed, you're looking for trouble

coogar:
i hate that question!
it oozes of desperation. she should wait for me to make up my mind.

don't ask me where it's headed to in the 3rd week.

coogar:
says who? her perfume does a good job for her when she's clothed.
the odour oozes out the moment the panties come off. odour bad enough to kill live rats instantly.
don't lemme go into details. some women aren't hygienic at all. if you have stayed in the hostel before, you'd know what i am talking about.

mobf:
^^
None. It's a chance she has to take. Afterall, she agreed to date him

mobf:
Lol @ Topic. I don't think dragging him is the solution. What's the guarantee that it will be a happy union.
Now don't think i embrace the "user" term quoted by the poster, it's just one of those things ladies goes through

coogar:
it's not about great sex in marriage. it's about discovering what one doesn't like to see after walking the aisle. by then it would be too late to do anything and one would have to live with it for the rest of one's life. imagine if my partner had a putrescent odour down south. something i never knew cos i never went there during courtship. how am i supposed to feel after the discovery?

coogar:
yes, i have to test intimate compatibility. it's a must, it's my right. when i am buying an automobile, i do a test-drive.

does this not depend on the age of the man? if i meet a girl at 19 and i love her. . . .whether she likes it or not, she must wait till i am 30 before i can enter marriage. i am never going to marry her @ 24. it's impossible.

freecocoa:
R321 like for real?

@ Topic I wouldn't say they should be dragged but I suggest asking him"where is this relationship going?" If he doesn't shake body,in short if I'm with a man for a year plus he just has to let me know what his plans for us is.

hasyak:
the process involve in wooing without cash in this country is time wasting, thats when you will be hearing very funny story, "why are always disturbing me", "dont call me i will call you", "my bf is around" and " i will think about it" you will talk talk, you will lie, you will pretend, and you will be at the receiving end, but with money you only need to talk once and your money will do the rest. why do i waste time wooing when i can use the same time to make money and the money will do the talking

kpolli:
So r u trying to say we men spend on women because we feel like it?

We spend cos the lady wants us too. . . . Too much money is not worrying us

kpolli:
This question can only be answered by the ladies. . .

mekaboy:
[b]  PLEASE GUYS, IF YOU CANT TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF , PLEASE TRY AND FORGET WOMEN AND FOCUS TO BE MORE COMFORTABLE BEFORE CHASING BABES. IF NOT YOU WILL HAVE GREY HAIR AT AN EARLY STAGE.

That word care means a lot but I think its wise not to do crazy things like steal/sell bikes,loan to impress somebody.extreme

YOU GUYS ARE ACTING LIKE A RICH GUY HAS NOTHING ELSE TO OFFER BESIDES MONEY, A GUY CAN HAVE ALL THE GOOD QUALITIES YOU MENTIONED AND STILL BE RICH AND WILLING TO SPEND. 

Oh yes they do.I wont tell a story and many other more,but they do.

SO IF A GUY WHO IS COMFORTABLE MEETS A GIRL AND IS TAKING HER OUT ON THE FIRST DATE AND TAKES HER TO A CLASSY RESTURANT WHERE THEY SELL WHERE A BOTTLE OF COKE IS SOLD FOR 10K  , NOW PENDO MAY SAY THIS GUY IS TRYING TO IMPRESS ME WITH HIS MONEY SO I DONT WANT HIM, MEANWHILE HE IS JUST TAKING HIM TO A PLACE WHERE HE FEELS A PRETY GIRL LIKE HER DESERVES.
HAVE YOU EVER LOOKED AT IT FROM THIS POINT OF VIEW. IF A GUY TAKES YOU TO A FANCY RESTURANT OF CLASS, SPENDS MONEY ON YOU, MAYBE HE IS SIMPLY TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT A GIRL LIKE YOU DESERVES BETTER. HE MIGHT NOT JUST BE TRYING TO IMPRESS YOU, HE IS TRYING TO SHOW YOU HOW MUCH HE VALUES YOU.
Now YOU SURE MAKE SENSE.Who is disputing that? A guy who loves his girl will give her the best. He will dine and wine with her in the best of places he can afford. Who wouldnt do that? If you have the money to spend please do cz if you don't then you are very mean to her and yourself. I personaly hate mean people.

WHATS WRONG WITH SPENDING MUCH ON A GIRL TO WIN HER?
There's nothing wrong in spending on a girl.But there's something wrong in wooing through cash.Look here Meka,Taking her on a date and spending on her means you have impressed her already. .Which girl would agree to go on a date with a strange guy she feels nothing for unless its a blind date? The spending you are talking about here is coming later after you have done your thing (impressing) no? You sweet talked her,you charmed your way into her heart,you complimented her dressing,you made her laugh,you taught her a thing or two  before you finally asked her out. You get it?

YOU SPEND TO GET WHAT YOU VALUE, WHY DO PEOPLE LEAVE THE UNIVERSITY IN NIGERIA AND SPEND MILLIONS TO STUDY ABROAD? ITS BECAUSE THEY PLACE SO MUCH VALUE ON THE SCHOOL AND ARE WILLING TO SPEND TO GET IT.

OK, A GUY DOES NOT WANT TO SHOW HIS WALLET BUT WANTS TO WIN A GIRL. NOW HE HAS TO LOOK GOOD= MONEY.

SMELL GOOD= MONEY.

CALL OFTEN= MONEY

TRANSPORT  = MONEY.
Now all that is supposed to be the normal way of living. Men,women,old people do that.


A NICE GUY WHO IS FUN , HAS JOKES  WITHOUT MONEY VS  A NICE GUY WHO  IS FUN HAS JOKE AND MONEY    WHO WOULD YOU WANT A GIRL TO CHOOSE ?
They are both nice.They have to work hard to score with me. There's a lot to consider here like his potential and ability to secure a job as well so this comparison is not fair. If I want quick money and easy life NOW of course the latter.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN A GUY SHOWS HIS WALLET TO IMPRESS A GIRL?  HE MIGHT TO SPEND THE MONEY ON THE GIRL TO IMPRESS HER BUT HE STILL SPENDS THE MONEY ON HIMSELF TO IMPRESS HER.   EITHER WAYS, HE IS SPENDING.

SO IF A GUY SPENDS MONEY ON CLOTHS, PERFUME, FURNISH HIS HOUSE , BUYS A NICE PHONE. IF HE GOES TO CHASE A GIRL AND BRINGS HIS PHONE OUT AND ITS EXPENSIVE, PENDO WILL SAY HE IS SHOWING OFF.   IF HE SMELLS GOOD YOU WILL SAY HE IS SHOWING OFF.
BUT IF HE DOES NOT LOOK GOOD IN THE FIRST PLACE WILL YOU LIKE TO GIVE HIM THE CHANCE TO IMPRESS YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE?

There's a big difference there.You remind me of a girl who argued that girls also spend money on dates because she buys herself new clothes and makeup to look good for her date,so no guy ought to complain that hes paying dinner alone. Do you agree with that? I am sure ul say no.
Lemmie show u the differ. If you spend cash on urself ,you improve on your general appearance which plays a role in attraction. What the girl see is a well groomed,nice smelling gentleman. Now is that all he brings to the table? Can he talk to impress? his clothes wont compliment me,his perfume wont make me laugh,not his well furnished house either or car. They make life easy but they dont wipe tears or make laugh.
It's what comes out of his head that draws me close. The opposite is also true. A shady dressed character lacking conversation skills will not impress either. That should tell you its not really your overall appearance which money can fix well but what comes out of that expensively groomed character.



THE DEMAND FOR MONEY IN NIGERIA NOW IS BECOMING SO MUCH, SO A GIRLS RATHER GO WITH NICE GUYS WHO CAN TAKE CARE OF THEM.
You make the girls sound desperate.Cant a girl take care of herself? If I can take care of myself I will look for a guy who can take care of me. simple.

DONT SAY THAT GUYS WHO HAVE MONEY TO SPEND ARE NOT FUN, AFTER ALL SOME OF THEM, BEFORE THEY BECAME RICH THEY WERE BROKE , SO THEY CAN BE RICH AND FUN WITH ALL THE LISTED QUALITIES AT THE SAME TIME.
yes yes. I told you I dont need to tell u a story but I know moneyed,nice and fun guys to be with.They dont even flash

I DONT SEE ANYTHING BAD WITH A GUY SPENDING MUCH TO WIN A GIRL, IF HE SPENDS MUCH ON HER IT MEANS HE BELIEVES SHE IS WORTH THE MONEY.
What happened to using your head? Must money do the talking. You cant sweet talk a girl or charm your way into her heart without buying her chicken?

SO WHEN GIRLS IN NIGERIA EXPECT A GUY TO SPEND MONEY ON THEM, THEY SIMPLY WANT TO KNOW HOW MUCH HE VALUES HER. AND THE BIBLE SAYS "WHERE YOU MONEY IS = WHERE YOUR HEARTH IS" IF YOUR HEARTH IS ON A GIRL THEN YOU MONEY SHOULD BE ON HER TOO.
Halo!! stop misquoting bible That is not the right interpretation. So men who spend their money on LovePeddlers have their hearts there as well?
crazy mekaboy.

THERE ARE ALOT OF GIRLS OUT THERE, JUST FIND YOUR LEVEL. DOES IT MAKE SENSE FOR A BROKE GUY TO GO AFTER A BROKE GIRL ?
What is it you are searching for? poverty/rich is not happiness rem

IF THE GUY WAS THE GIRL KNOWING THE PROBLEMS THAT COME WITH POVERTY, WOULD HE DATE A BROKE GUY ?
Why talk as if all girls are poor and needy.Rich and poor girls alike need love you know.

THE MAJOR ADVANTAGE OF HAVING MONEY.

1, A RICH/COMFORTABLE GIRL CAN EASILY DATE A BROKE OR RICH GUY.

2, A RICH/COMFORTABLE GUY CAN EASILY DATE A RICH OR BROKE GIRL.

BUT A BROKE GIRL WILL FIND IT HARD DATING A BROKE GUY WITHOUT SUPPORT FROM A RICH CHAIRMAN.
Ok this will need evidence. I wont push that further. But there's this guy raising a family under a bridge.Isnt that true love baked in poverty?

A BROKE GUY WILL FIND IT HARD DATING A BROKE GIRL WITHOUT SUPPORT FROM YAHOO, SUGAR MUMMY, KIDNAPING OR ARMED ROBBERY 
see now your justifying criminal activities

SO THE BROKE GUYS WILL HAVE TO GO FOR THE RICH, WHILE THE RICH CAN DECIDE IF THEY WANT BROKE OR RICH .
Your mind needs a makeover,You are saying a broke guy has no choice whatsoever on whom to date? That is encouraging laziness cz its a 'give up on trying mentality'

IN ADDITION.

BOTH RICH AND BROKE GUYS - HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON= GAMES(CHEATING). A RICH GUY CAN CHASE A GIRL JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SLEEP WITH HER, AND A POOR GUY CAN ALSO CHASE A GIRL JUST BECAUSE HE WANTS TO SLEEP WITH HER. IT WILL BE BETTER FOR THE GIRL TO FALL FOR THE RICH GUY AND DISCOVER HE JUST WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HER, THAN FALL FOR THE BROKE GUY AND FIND OUT HE JUST WANTED TO SLEEP WITH HER.  

I say again your mind needs a makeover. Neither is good. some strange diseases cant tell the differ btwn rich or poor.Either way players are dangerous  

ANOTHER REASON WHY A GIRL WOULD WANT TO DATE A RICH GUY=  SOMETIMES A BROKE GUY CAN BE SO SWEET TELL YOU NICE STUFF AND WORSHIP YOU, COOK FOR YOU WASH FOR YOU. JUST BECAUSE HE DOES NOT HAVE AN OPTION.BUT AS SOON AS HE BECOMES RICH HE WILL DUMP THE GIRL AND FIND ANOTHER. BUT WHEN A RICH GUY IS NICE TO HER, SHE CAN BE SURE ITS REAL, BECAUSE HE IS ALREADY RICH AND IS BEING NICE OUT OF HIS WILL BECAUSE HE CAN HAVE OTHER GIRLS IF HE WANTS.

Yeah .why didnt you go on to elaborate like you did for the poor guy? You say the poor guy cld become rich and dump his girl.
What if the rich guy loses it all and the girl decides to leave because she cant adjust to a life of poverty? look here if poverty is not permanent then neither is richness.Both circumstances can change in a flash so stop talking as though the rich dude can never lose it and the poor dude can never make it.

[/b]
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Basildon1:
Ms Pendo89, u beginning to real sound funny - DEFEATIST? ME? . I have a gf and she definitely doesnt fall into the gold- digger category. So please hold up with your God-like advice! Everyone wants to date and have fun while they hope to meet the right one. There's more fun to be had when there is money - OVERDOING it becomes stupidity, it can be balanced and simultaneous esp in Nigeria. I live in the UK and it is way different!

Did you ever see me label anyone on here - call them gold diggers or throw stones? I am a realist and dont believe in condemning anyone that doesnt fall into my line of thinking. This is a forum, deal with it and stop thinking that anyone that posts on here and doesnt fall into your line of thinking has no sense. Who made the guys you have mentioned the SI unit for measuring men. 

This is no form of slave trade where you show money and you get all the girls. Heck, it doesnt even guarantee nothing! If you want to go ahead and put words in my mouth and say I AM ADVOCATING MONEY FOR GIRLS, you welcome, my dear Mother Theresa.
Bro, no be today i sign up for NL nah. I know your style, u could be judgmental, not saying it is a bad thing o but why the self denial. On a casual date basis,  have you never had to impress a gal with some posh restaurant while  trying to get it?! Maybe yes, maybe no and maybe it was not even necessary  but this stuff happens. I LOVE McDee's  doesnt mean I am taking a gal there till we on dat level. Even if you dont spend it, you will ooze it to a level. Girls are creatures of comfort!

Basildon1:
And as usual,  @MrBrownJay had to get all analytical and ish on this one! Mekaboy is in no way supporting them lot, he is just seeing both sides of the coin with a generous dose of humor!

I had friends back in uni who only dated guys that could handle their bills and they were some of my best friends, THERE IS NO NEED TO TAKE THE JUDGEMENTAL STAND that they are similar to call girls (except maybe u seeing more than one, that kinda gets iffy!)

Blue pill or red pill, like Neo, the choice is up to you when it comes to babes in Nigeria. (tis why we spend time trying to get who suits our tastes)

Nayah:
You're talking about my pic honey?? actually I was in Miss Ghana France, I was one of the jugdes and that was amazing!! what a wonderful people these ghanaians!  

vowiski:
‘dead’ Man Wakes Up After Three Days In Mortuary

The news of his regaining consciousness broke out on Sunday evening as members of his Mountain of Fire and Miracle (MFM) Church were preparing tents for his wake.

ssandl:
Dear all,
here are so many lovely images from Nairobi!
We are currently  searching for images from Nairobi for the next issue of our hotel book (see former ones here http://www.designhotels.com/shop)
Since we will have a new hotel member in the next issue we want to show a bit more of Kenya´s capital in the Intro: buildings, neighborhoods, people.
Who would like to be in the book and certainly get one for free if images are used?

Deadline is shortly, best would be to get answer within this week. I´m really looking forward to it.
Thank you so much for your help, all my best
Steffi

Steffi Sandl

Production Manager

Design Hotels AG
Stralauer Allee 2c | 10245 Berlin/Germany |
P +49 (0)30 884 940 085
F +49 (0)30 257 698 96
s.sandl@designhotels.com | www.designhotels.com | www.madebyoriginals.com | skype s.sandl_ds

valacious:
@pendo89, But why are d carefree and nonchalant guys having more fun and less heartache with women?

ronkebp:
Gat you Pendo,

The truth is that, any guy that thinks he could impress or win a woman over by spending is just a big mugu, because he would end up to be 'correct Maga', infact he has become her personal atm.


Now, Do i want an Einstein as a boyfriend, Hell No!!!! it is good to be intelligent but please do not bore me with all you have to say, stop quoting whatever i really do not care for it. and stop showing off by speaking grammar so that the whole world will know you have decided to committ the whole dictionary to memory

Then the OLodos' HABA NOW!!!!! that one i don't have anything to say about them, than for them to please ''UPGRADE''.

Therefore, a little bit of this and that is OK!! too much maggi or salt spoils the taste of the soup or food, everything should be done in moderation.

Nosyke:
Exactly the point ,
Let be straightforward with you, I dont have money for your ticket, hope I IMPRESSED YOU?

Nosyke:

Please for her to properly access the situation and have an all ecompassing "First hand experience" let her trip be sheduled to any of the following Nigerian cities
1. Abuja
2.Portharcourt
3. Lagos

Basildon1:
@ Pendo89, Just before i go home, i wish i could sponsor you on a 3month undercover stay in an environment with a lot of nigerian females like a university.

First hand experience beats theoretical knowledge anyday!  

Nosyke:
1. Keyword here is Impress, but you didnt state for how long. Even if you are combination of Basketmouth , Gordon and I-go-die with out fat wallet  believe you me the impression will only last for a while before reality sets in and she starts to compare the guy with her friends. [color=#000099]possible
2.How many girls will for example accept ONLY a flower on Valentine's day with a pure heart as proof of one's love for her ? your thinking nigerian girl
7. Assuming one just finished National service and sees the chick that he loves, but the guy has ABSOLUTELY   no work yet, what ratio of chicks wil agree for him to date them?[/color] and I read here about a nigerian chick who took care of her broke guy and when he was able to stand on his own he dumped her for another chick.