₦airaland Forum

pro01:
There may be a more euphemistic way of saying that, but yes, that is pretty much what it is.

Richer men. Or at least men in a similar financial 'class' as the girls. Which further explains why financial insecurity in a man is the ultimate social sin in Nigeria. Rich guys hold all the aces, and head or tail, they win. They're always the number one preference for both poor girls and rich girls . . .both only settle for 'less' when they can't find a rich man that will be committed to them long-term.

You have answered me. Thank you. No man wants to be poor and no girl desires a poor man either. But every sensible girl rich/poor needs a guy who is worth more than what he makes. A man who will treat her well,not bad just cz he bought her.
If I am a guy and I go through hell to impress a girl,chances of treating her like a good or property are very high. Its very easy to become abusive if the lady ever crosses your path.
Those are the risks I cant subject myself to cz in life one needs a friend not a trader.

ronkebp:
I do not see how a relationship can survive without money being involved. I have never seen nor heard of it.

MRbrownJAY:
Pro01 has made some valid points, as usual, but there is ONE fundamental issue here: WE (men) are the root of this problem.
you see, some chiefs/senators/big men/gov looters etc are quick to showers some gal (half their age) with expensive gifts. this gal will get accustomed to this kind of "attention", so she goes around and now demand for such "attention" from every guy she meet. now, sadly,  the next guy she dates may be poor but he will do everything to try to act like these rich gentlemen, KNOWING FULLY WELL that he aint go it (thats his silly ego). THIS is the problem here, the fact that most Nigerian dont want to admit that they are NOT as well off as these guys, admitting that they are COMMON. . . . . and therefore that will keep these "part time ashis" believing that their company has a price tag.

who are we kidding? these women talk to each other and therefore the word has done the round already, and now, any two bit skank believes that she should be rewarded with gifts and money too, in order to be in a r/ship.

if your friend told you that there was a new system to make quick easy money LEGALLY, wouldnt you all go along and join that system? thats what these women are doing, thanks to men who have more money than sense (or those that are willing to eat garri for a whole month, just to pay for some thief's BB).

the solution to this is very simple: it doesnt matter how many of these gals beg, if WE (men) all decide to NOT pay these "criminals", hunger (and no money for BB subscription) will have them RECONSIDER!

so brothas, join me this weekend for the "WE NO GO PAY-KEEP YOUR STINKY TOTO" rally, and let's put an end to this nonsense!

jay bee:
Can i hire u pendo as my publicist?
U sure have a sweet mouth  

MRbrownJAY:
Pro01 has made some valid points, as usual, but there is ONE fundamental issue here: WE (men) are the root of this problem.
you see, some chiefs/senators/big men/gov looters etc are quick to showers some gal (half their age) with expensive gifts. this gal will get accustomed to this kind of "attention", so she goes around and now demand for such "attention" from every guy she meet. now, sadly,  the next guy she dates may be poor but he will do everything to try to act like these rich gentlemen, KNOWING FULLY WELL that he aint go it (thats his silly ego). THIS is the problem here, the fact that most Nigerian dont want to admit that they are NOT as well off as these guys, admitting that they are COMMON. . . . . and therefore that will keep these "part time ashis" believing that their company has a price tag.

who are we kidding? these women talk to each other and therefore the word has done the round already, and now, any two bit skank believes that she should be rewarded with gifts and money too, in order to be in a r/ship.

if your friend told you that there was a new system to make quick easy money LEGALLY, wouldnt you all go along and join that system? thats what these women are doing, thanks to men who have more money than sense (or those that are willing to eat garri for a whole month, just to pay for some thief's BB).

the solution to this is very simple: it doesnt matter how many of these gals beg, if WE (men) all decide to NOT pay these "criminals", hunger (and no money for BB subscription) will have them RECONSIDER!

so brothas, join me this weekend for the "WE NO GO PAY-KEEP YOUR STINKY TOTO" rally, and let's put an end to this nonsense!

oluface:
na war o

jay bee:
Dilemma Alert [size=14pt]***********************************************[/size]
How do i impress Nayah aka sweet potato 

MRbrownJAY:
Pro01 has made some valid points, as usual, but there is ONE fundamental issue here: WE (men) are the root of this problem.
you see, some chiefs/senators/big men/gov looters etc are quick to showers some gal (half their age) with expensive gifts. this gal will get accustomed to this kind of "attention", so she goes around and now demand for such "attention" from every guy she meet. now, sadly,  the next guy she dates may be poor but he will do everything to try to act like these rich gentlemen, KNOWING FULLY WELL that he aint go it (thats his silly ego). THIS is the problem here, the fact that most Nigerian dont want to admit that they are NOT as well off as these guys, admitting that they are COMMON. . . . . and therefore that will keep these "part time ashis" believing that their company has a price tag.

who are we kidding? these women talk to each other and therefore the word has done the round already, and now, any two bit skank believes that she should be rewarded with gifts and money too, in order to be in a r/ship.

if your friend told you that there was a new system to make quick easy money LEGALLY, wouldnt you all go along and join that system? thats what these women are doing, thanks to men who have more money than sense (or those that are willing to eat garri for a whole month, just to pay for some thief's BB).

the solution to this is very simple: it doesnt matter how many of these gals beg, if WE (men) all decide to NOT pay these "criminals", hunger (and no money for BB subscription) will have them RECONSIDER!

so brothas, join me this weekend for the "WE NO GO PAY-KEEP YOUR STINKY TOTO" rally, and let's put an end to this nonsense!

Basildon1:
No u dont sound like a broken record. Your points are very valid, hopefully u see my point too. A breakdown will be long 

jay bee:
How do i get creative without spending?
Does your mind need an expensive makeover? Brains are God given. Use that mind to warm up Nayah. Picture a blank mind with a fat wallet> disaster.

Wouldn't i have to spend some cash If i have to come visit you in France?
Of course you would! But the reason you are going there is cz u impressed her in the first place and she invited you.See the difference? you dont have to spend if shes not impressed.

Wouldn't that be impressive as i'm leaving my domain to come woo you?
Yep thats okay.You are attracted to her to the extent of wanting to leave your domain. That feeling supercedes the amount you spend on travel.

Admit it, excessive is not encouraged but a lil spending is the norm. What we ought to be talking about is what amount of spending would impress the ladies.
I think you need to ask 'what other qualities do i possess as a guy that would make a lady fall for me before she even knows my worth.

Basildon1:
Dont get me totally wrong. I am not saying splash cash and hope it covers up for the qualities that you lack as a man. Just saying[b] the combination is needed is Nigeria. Females require a level of comfort to take it to the next level of considering your heart's conten[/b]t (at least with the current generation[b]). A banker will not date a plumber in Nigeria no matter how good his heart is.[/b]

Basildon1:
I am observing not judging based on the frequency of  female responses. There are lots of topics that get repeated daily on NL - even some where it is OBVIOUS that the poster is winding up the readers and yet i see females literally rip the thread apart on the regular!

Environments are different, outside of Nigeria,u can impress a hot girl simply by your approach, convo, going to a local restaurant  for a cheap  meal and cheap drinks while getting to know her better. It doesnt matter that u live in a house share, use a bus pass and carry a shyt fone.

THIS DOES NOT WORK IN NIGERIA! Just a fact - no criticism, A smart guy understands it is better to hate the game, not the player.

pro01:
Well I should have known that Pendo wasn't Nigerian; I'm now relieved it isn't a case of mischief or deceit.

Anyways, I just don't know how to argue in favour of something that is clearly the exception rather than acknowledge the rule for what it is. Patriotism or whatever it is would not make me distort the truth about Nigerian girls. They certainly are beautiful, sexy, and do possess some other qualities, but 'uncommercialized affection' isn't one of them. Yes there are Nigerian girls that are not at all interested in money. Yes, there are Nigerian 'princesses' that would elope with a pauper for the sake of love. And of course yes there are Nigerian girls that would happily love and date a regular guy that is unable/unwilling to spend on her (while also secretly having an affair with another man who is spending big time). But then, what is the majority position? 95 out of 100 would not last with a guy that doesn't spend on them directly or indirectly. If they're pretending to be cool with the lack of spending, you can be sure she's probably looking out for a better deal (or secretly getting it elsewhere). It's a cultural phenomenon. Even the starry eyed, love-struck girl in these parts is soon made to wake up and smell the coffee of materialism by a rainbow coalition of friends, sisters, mothers, aunties, school mates, colleagues, peers, neighbours and so forth. There's hardly an escape route.
Of course I've had my fair share of girls that I poked without any meaningful spending - and that's because these days I mostly do flings - even with the most virtuous of maidens. It's easier to charm, deceive, and 'mesmerise' one's way into a girl's pants without much spending if you know you have a short-term, 'chop and clean mouth' objective. But for any actual full-time relationship, it is almost impossible to make a Nigerian girl maintain a long-standing relationship with you ALONE without spending more or less frequently along the line. If you're a fine boy/charmer/good lover, you might be 'lucky' to be retained without spending at all on her - but that would be ONLY because another richer man/men elsewhere is 'subsidizing' your relationship (for a slice of her kitty, of course)
You can quote me on that.

bestofthisyear:
Pendo when was the last time you were in Nigeria? I understand you may feel like its bashing but it does tell a lot of the current situation of things. All you need to do is go to any hotel or shopping area in abuja to see old grandfathers from overseas (white,lebanese,indian etc) with young good looking girls to know the state of affairs is bad. Most girls are looking for a ticket

2buff:
My darling Pendo, I've always had nothing but love for my naija babes. This I have said countless times.
Besides if you know the right words, you can get your woman to do anything for you. . . instead of just b[i]i[/i]tching about them.   

I can only truly marry a naija babe. FACT 

(too many whites here mehn, I don taiya)

2buff:
My last date was with a nigerian girl. And she insisted she pay for [b]our [/b]food.

You are a very funny but real character mekaboy.I like your mind.

mekaboy:
[b] lol,  SHE IS EATING BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS EASY RIGHT ? NOW MONEY MAKES IT EASY.

SANDWICH AND EGG U SAID ? LOL IN AJEGUNLE? HA HA HA HA. THE GUY WILL LEAVE FREE CHICKEN TO MAKE SANDWISH AND EGG?

WELL THE KIND OF GIRL I AM TALKING ABOUT IS 90% OF THE GIRLS YOU WOULD MEET IN NIGERIA TODAY.

NO WHEN THE GIRL SPENT THE MONEY ON THE GIRL, HELPED HER PAY HER RENT, SHE FELL INLOVE WITH HIM, NOT BECAUSE OF HIS MONEY, BUT BECAUSE OF HIS HEART, HIS PERSONALITY.

SOME GUYS CAN BE FUNNY AND STINGY, FUNNY AND WICKED. THIS GUY SHOWED THAT HE HAD MONEY AND THAT HE HAS A GOOD HEART [/b]TO GO WITH IT.
HE HAS NO JOKES, BUT HE IS KIND. That makes sense.

ISNT THAT WHAT GIRLS WANT? A KIND AND CARING GUY ? ITS EASIER TO SHOW KINDNESS AND CARE WITH MONEY THAN JOKES. IF YOU HAIR IS DUE AND YOUR BROKE, I CANT SHOW YOU KINDNESS WITH TELLING YOU JOKES, I SHOW IT BUY TAKING YOU TO THE SALON AND IT COST MONEY.

IF YOUR PHONE SCREEN GOES BLIND, I CANT SHOW U KINDNESS AND CARE BUY TELLING YOU A JOKE, I SHOW I CARE BUY BUYING A NEW ONE .

YOU SEE THE ROLE OF MONEY ?

IF U SEE A BROKE GUY IN NIGERIA KEEPING A FINE GIRL IN NIGERIA, A CHAIRMAN IS FINANCING THE RELATIONSHIP. HO HA.

pro01:
Threads like this make me wonder whether some of these folks on Nairaland are 'cyber beings' that are detached from reality, or merely mischievious/deceitful people that deliberately misrepresent the reality of things in order to achieve God knows what. Maybe most of these peeps live abroad; that could be a cogent extenuating reason for the hopelessly naive and idealistic opinions they often express across this forum. But for those of us that live in Nigeria or among Nigerians, and know Nigerian females in-depth (irrespective of 'class', or 'status'), it is shocking to say the least that anyone would wonder why a man needs to spend to woo or retain a desirable Nigerian chick. You might as well wonder why you need to put fuel in your vehicle tank to make it move and keep moving.

When a sufficient number of hot Nigerian females start dating and phorking struggling guys that have nothing but 'love' , excellent conversation, and charming personality to offer, and also start rejecting rich, lousy jerks that throw money at them, then of course most men would realizing that money/spending is a needless disincentive. But of course Nigerian females would never evolve to that level. They'll insist they don't want 'losers', 'lazy',  'unambitious', and 'uncaring' men (i.e. Struggling/broke guys). Rather, they'll say they prefer 'hardworking', 'responsible', and 'caring' men (i.e. Rich guys/big spenders). Seriously?

BTW. So they acknowledge that "spending is inevitable", yet they purport to lament that fact that guys spend to woo girls? Lol @ their typical self-inflicted confusion.

mekaboy:
[b]  

BECAUSE A HUNGRY MAN IS AN ANGRY MAN, A BROKE GIRL IS NOT RELAXED OR IN THE MOOD TO ENTERTAIN YOUR JOKES. SO MAYBE A BROKE GUY WHO CAN HANDLE A GOOD CONVERSATION MIGHT GET LUCKY WITH A COMFORTABLE GIRL, WHO IS INDEPENDENT AND RELAXED READY TO LISTEN TO JOKES. AND IN NIGERIA 90% OF GIRLS ARE BROKE SO YOUR SWEET MOUTH NO GO GET YOU NOTHING. NA JOKE SHE GO CHOP?

See where u go wrong.99% of all nigerian girls broke? Even in somalia those statistics would be wrong. No country has 99% of its female pop. broke.
And when did being broke mean being hungry?u cant say a hungry man is an angry man cz hes broke! rich dudes get hungry too but disease can prevent them from eating.

2. MOST TIMES GIRLS SAY THEY WANT A GUY WHO IS REAL ITS NOT ALL ABOUT THE MONEY. OK SO THEY MEET A GUY ON FIRST DATE, GUY INVITES HER TO HIS HOUSE.  SHE COMES TO THE ONE ROOM IN THE GHETO, BLACK AND WHITE TV. SHE SITS DOWN, NEPA TAKE LIGHT,  SO HE HANDS HER A NEWS PAPER TO FAN HERSELF. SO WHILE HE DEY "SWEET TALK HER" HE IS CUTTING CASAVA, CRACKING ROMANTIC JOKES.  HOT WATER IS BOILING, HE STANDS UP RUNS AFTER A CHICKEN IN THE AREA, DIVES AT IT, GRABS IT , TRYING TO IMPRESS THE GIRL. TWISTS THE HEAD OF THE CHICKEN AND PULLS IT OUT, SHOWING HIS MUSCLE, THE BLOOD FLOWS, HE DROPS IT IN HOT WATER. REMOVING THE FEATHERS.

NOW THE GIRL ASKS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? HE SAYS I AM TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING WE COULD EAT. THE GIRL SAYS OH NO I AM NOT HUNGRY, YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME. THEY GIRL IS EVEN IN A HURY TO LIVE THERE.

I like the way u think.This is reality. But c'mmon lemmie tell u the truth. All that drama can be very romantic if she loves you. By her accepting to come to your place she must have gotten impressed in the first place. Don't try to hard to put show or please.Be yourself. Girls know when a guy is putting a show so it becomes a put off rather than a turn on.If she walks out she does so cz u are wasting too much time on that chicken or goat! She did not come to eat! she came to visit you.Spend time on her and let the chicken live.

BUT IN ANOTHER SCENARIO , THIS SAME GUY MEETS THE GIRL, TAKES HER TO MR. BIGGS, THEY BUY TAKE AWAY, WITH A CAR HE BORROWED. TAKES HER TO HIS FRIENDS HOUSE WHERE HE CLAIMS IS HIS, WITH AIRCONDITION, DSTV . OPENS A BOTTLE OF WINE FROM THE FRIDGE.
THIS SAME GIRL THAT WAS NOT HUNGRY IN THE GHETO IS NOW RELAXED AND READY TO EAT.

She is eating because everything is easy and available and you also have time talk not wash blood off your clothes. Its a different story chasing a hen all over the neighbourhood.A smart guy would make a simple sandwich or eggs and trust me that girl would appreciate.Must you slaughter a hen? A girl loves you not the hen.

3. ANOTHER SCENARIO, DEPENDS ON THE SITUATION WHERE THE GUY MEETS A GIRL.  A GIRL HAS JUST RECIEVED QUIT NOTICE FROM THE LANDLORD , HER FAMILY WILL SOON BE EJECTED BECAUSE THEY OWE RENT. A BROKE GUY COMES AROUND HER WITH HIS SWEET JOKES. DO YOU THINK HE STANDS A CHANCE?

Halo!! what do u mean? Is she looking for a caretaker or a lover? theres a big difference there. Its not the money but the girl's attitude here.

 WHAT IF A SHY AND HUMBLE GUY, SEES HER, PACKS HIS CAR, WALKS UP TO HER. THEY TALK A WHILE.  THE GUY SAYS, YOU DONT SEEM TOO HAPPY WHATS WRONG, SHE SAYS DONT WORRY ITS A PERSONAL ISSUE. HE SAYS WELL FIRST OF ALL, GET INTO THE CAR LETS GO TO SOMEWHERE COOL , U MUST TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT.

Oh so shes very wise jumping into a stranger's car without a care in the world? what kind of girl are u talking about?

THEY DRIVE TO A NICE RESTURANT, HE OTHERS DRINKS AND FOOD FOR HER, SHE EATS, AND WHEN SHE IS DONE HE NOW SAYS, TELL ME ABOUT THAT PERSONAL PROBLEM.
SHE SAID LANDLORD IS SACKING US.  THEN THE GUY SAYS HMMMM, OK LETS GO TO YOUR HOUSE I WANT TO SEE THT LANLORD THAT IS MESSING WITH THIS PRETTY ANGEL. THEY GO HE MEETS THE LANDLORD AND PAYS RENT.
NOW HE DOES NOT TALK MUCH, HE IS SHY, HAS NO JOKES, BUT WHENEVER THIS GIRL SEES HIM SHE IS SMILING AND HAPPY EVEN WHEN HE HAS NOT SAID AWARD. NOW HIS MONEY TELLS ALL THE JOKES FOR HIM.

Yes thats is why I said it's possible to receive care but no love.

I EXPERIENCED A SITUATION WHEN A SHY RICH GUY WAS CARRYING A BROKE, SWEET MOUTH GUY IN A CAR , THEY WENT AND PICKED 2 GIRLS, THEY BROKE GUY WAS TALKING FOR HOUSE, WHILE THEY WHERE PASSING A RESTURANT, THE SHY RICH GUY SAID, PLEASE I HOPE YOU GUYS DONT MIND, I AM HUNGRY, PLEASE LETS GET SOMETHING TO EAT BEFORE I FAINT.

I MEAN THIS IS THE ONLY THING HE EVER SAID THROUGH OUT THE HOURS OF CONVERSATION, THEY WENT IN, ATE, HE PAID FOR ALL, THE GIRLS SAID THANKS TO HIM.
NOW IN THE CAR. ONE OF THE GIRLS SAID, " I LIKE YOUR VOICE"  " I LIKE THE WAY YOU TALK" THE OTHER GIRL SAID ME TOO.
NOW THE QUESTION IS, WHAT DID HE SAY ?  WHATS IN HIS VOICE? THE BROKE GUY HAS BEEN CRACKING JOKES AND THEY KEPT LAUGHING TILL THEY BOTH BECAME HUNGRY. SO HOW COME THEY LIKE THE QUIET GUY MORE?

They liked the fact that he paid for the meal.They don't like his voice! Again the calibre of girls matter as well.Not all girls reason like that.

BUTTOM LINE, HUNGER DEY NIGERIA NOW, NO GIRL HAS TIME FOR JOKES OR SWEET TALK. YOU KNOW IF YOU LAUGH ALOT YOU COULD BECOME HUNGRY, YOU WANT A GIRL THAT EATS ONCE A DAY TO LAUGH AT YOUR JOKES?  WHEN SHE GETS HUNGRY WILL U BUY HER FOOD ?

Is the hunger there worse than in somalia?

SO IT ALL DEPENDS ON THE TYPE OF GIRL IN QUESTION. [/b] yep ur right there.

jay bee:
And what's the probability of that ever happening these dayz ?
1 outta every 1000 ?

jay bee:
No you simply cannot because every classy thing you had want the lucky lady to experience has a cost attached to it. However, you don't necessarily have to go [b]overboad [/b]to impress a lady.

Claus:
Amazing!

First, some guys were getting mad because some girls prioritise money/gifts at the expense of the other things guys can offer.
Now some girls are getting mad because some guys are quick to offer money/gifts in place of the other things they should offer.

If only these two sets can get together and leave the money/gifts people to their own wahala.