₦airaland Forum

Biglittlelois:

Check back buddy. You may need it

So, the current trend in rape cases and accusations have reminded me of an incident that happened some years back.

Earlier, I was living in Lagos while my immediate elder sister was living with my other sister who lives and works in Benin.

Fast forward to 2012, I got admission into Uniben and my sister got married the same year. Her husband lives in Lagos so she left Benin to Lagos while I left Lagos to come and take up my admission in Benin.

During my matriculation, my sister came down to Benin to celebrate with me. There's this friend of hers (I don't know the type of relationship they had) that wanted to see her.

My sister was reluctant in meeting up with the guy but he insisted. They agreed to meet at Mr. Biggs, Ugbowo. My sister asked me to follow her to the restaurant.

When we got there, the guy's countenance changed immediately he saw that my sister came with me and the meeting didn't last for more than five minutes before we dispersed.

When we were done eating the rice and chicken we ordered, the guy wanted to pay but my sister refused and rather paid for everything we bought.

This is so the guy won't feel sad for wasting his time and money. Whatever his intention was, his only regret should be not achieving it and not in addition to spending his money or thinking my sister brought me to leech on him.

Now I am writing this to teach girls and women alike two important life lessons.

1. Never ever visit a guy in his house if you are not ready to have sex with him. This is not the same thing as saying that for every time you visit a guy, sex must occur.

80% of guys believe that once a girl agrees to visit them at home, she has agreed to whatever outcome such visit would bring.

70% of the times, even if the girl escapes penetrative sex, she will not escape touching, kissing and smooching.

Even the Bible admonishes that the best way to avoid sin is to avoid the occasion of sin.

Girl's attitude aren't helping in any of these. A girl would tag a guy weakling, jew guy, simp, etc., simply because he refused to make a move on her. I have been a victim.

Even meeting in so called open places could be dangerous if you don't trust the guy at all. One thing could lead to another and the next thing, you will find yourself in his house. Guys with a ride can relate how easy it is to convince a girl to follow you home after meeting in an open/public place. So, don't trust your instinct 100%. If you know there's nothing good that will come out of such meeting, don't embark on it.


2. Never accept a gift whether money, goods or free services from a guy if you don't have a way to pay back. Economists believe that anything that is free has no value. They believe in no free lunch, you can't get output without an input.

This is becoming a trend as most girls feel eating and cleaning mouth makes them smart. Sometimes, you might eat and while trying to clean mouth, the water will stuck on your teeth (proverb).

For every gift or favor someone does for you, they expect a repayment. A profit oriented entrepreneur expects some return on investment (ROI). In consumption, it is called UTILITY. A rational consumer expects to get the highest level of satisfaction (utility) on every money spent in purchasing a good.

The high rate of rape cases can be attributed to the decadence in morality in the present society. Ladies of the 80's and early 90's guide themselves very well. This is because majority of them were virgins and would do anything to avoid finding themselves in some situations.

But today, our ladies have thrown caution to the wind. They feel that the worst thing that will happen is sex. Well, sometimes, it might cause you more than just sex.

The case of the Uwa girl is a sad one but I wouldn't let my daughter leave alone to read in a church that doesn't have any activity. She could have gone with a friend or read at home if she couldn't find anyone to follow her.

I'm not absolving men of rape or an apologist to rapists, but our girls need to do better. Wearing skimpy dress is not the problem, nobody will rape you while you are walking in a busy street.

The same precautions you will take to safeguard your phone from criminals, is the same precautions you need to take to protect yourself.

If you don't want/like a guy, don't indulge him. Don't use your teeth to share a meat you don't eat to children (proverb).

I know many will have a different opinion, this is mine.

Over and out

Abovebest:
After seeing pics of some places, you get disappointed when you visit

I had my undergraduate in Uniben and currently doing my masters in unilag.

Bro, unilag is not overhyped. The school in terms of infrastructure is really doing well. Uniben no near...

Lecture halls are well equipped with either AC or fan. Some faculties like faculty of art even uses elevator that works perfectly well.

Security is top notch.

adoreyou:
Please be honest. Pick out of these options; *Report to nearest police station. *Jump and pass *Start counting your blessings *Take to your pastor *Donate to charity

I'll wake up

Here's a video of blacks fighting back over the recent murder of Floyd. They were actually pelting stones on the police officers

Video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivIg3CcB2gM

Another video here
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-T6bCXiGTmE

Erosion2020:
U put it nicely.
But say the biggest obstacle most times are those married women, they can divide especially when their husbands has some cash.

I think it depends on experience. To me, it's the women that are married into the family that cause the division more than the women married out of the family.

The women married out of the family will only have influence if the male children allowed it. But the women married into the family will first start with the mother in law, then the single sisters of the husbands if any, then extended to the husband's brothers.

My own brother hit me for the first time because of his wife. Our family fought him in a way that he couldn't try it again. That's in the past.

Depending on the size of the family. Some families are concerned about cousins, uncles and aunties.

No, my family is concerned with just my mother's children. This is largely due to high number of children (10 children, 9 married with kids).

One of the causes of the disunity is this general saying "nobody owes you anything". Some family members make it earlier in life and thus turn their back against those still struggling.

And when those struggling ones finally makes it, they wouldn't want any association anymore.

You can put it generally on imbalance in financial strength.

Death of parent(s) is another factor. Once the father and/or mother dies, the family is disintegrated. Parents act as a force bringing children and cousins together.

It's more when the ladies are married and the male children leave the family house to build houses elsewhere. Even when they return home, they are in their respective houses and visiting the family house, they appear like visitors.

It's not compulsory to relate with every member of your family. You decide your friends based on interest and mutual feelings but you don't decide your family members. Some family members are better off kept at arms length.

So, in an attempt to unite, an experience may make you regret ever attempting the reunion. Just take those that are already close to you and relate with them.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

newdawn2017:
Y?? He is right. Is English uour mother tongue?? I work with British people here, do dey know how to speak Yoruba?? Or ibo?? Or even one native language here or write it??

It's obvious you didn't understand my comment.

I had nothing to do with his comment but his username "God Punish Biafra"

Dreyton36:
stop being unintelligent, you misunderstood him,

I didn't quote him base on his comment. I quoted him base on his username. "God Punish Biafra".


Unless you are unapologetically a tribal bigot, you are the unintelligent one here

Freest:
Ok. As at the time of discuss I planned to get a car hence I applied for the loan. Later started having second thought when I saw an available land for sale. But then I have started the process already.

So this was my confusion. I only felt the need for the car cos of the travails of my family

You write exactly like someone who has never own a car before. You have the feeling that buying the car will solve all your life problems.

If you must know, your wife carrying your child under the sun is not strange. Even if you get a car for her, there are some markets in Lagos that she cannot go with the car because of lack of parking space.

Calm down about this car thing. It may not be what it seems from afar.

A land of 1.5 million in Lagos should be in ibeju lekki or badagry

crestking:
I am new on Fiverr guys, pls help me check out my page so I can know if it's standard enough to attract buyers.
Thanks in advance.

https://www.fiverr.com/danielifendu

Your profile picture is unprofessional. Take a professional studio shot with good shirt and trouser.

Your profile description is too scanty with too many use of the word 'I'. Try to write a more comprehensive description and make it more interesting.

Your gigs are all similar and conflicting. The images need serious attention.

People have complained bitterly about this read receipt thing. Some say it's inferiority complex and cowardly to turn it off.

I personally turned my own off to keep my sanity in tact. Someone can just mark the message as read without logging in to WhatsApp with the intention of replying later.

You might feel ignored whereas the person didn't have the intention to ignore you. Sometimes, when the person finally replies, you were already fuming and might not reply properly or at all.

My last seen is available simply because I have nothing to hide

GodPunishBiafra:
I just hate reading people apologizing for their so-called typos or wrong grammar and sentence.

Is English your mother tongue?

How may Oyinbo sabi speak and write Yoruba, Igbo or Hausa?

You shouldn't exist where humans are with this your username. I'm surprised you do

Ope88:
Please don't read and pass, also Pardon all my typo, I'm typing out of duress.

I am from a family of six, 3 girls, 1 boy including my parents.
Had a horrible childhood experience, My Mum (no thanks to her) was something I can't quantify, I can't start writing every of the things she did and I can't say If the religion she practiced contributed largely to the devilish she put up while growing up.
My mum has no good record nowhere, in the church, with the neighbours, with her siblings, we the children, her in laws and even at work, She was always at war with people, if she dreams that someone was trying to attack her in the dream, if she sees the person the following day, she was ready to attack the person,
Also, she would curse her children at any slightest provocation and leave only my brother out(last born and spoilt), She doesn't have any good relationship with her siblings and won't allow my dad visit his family member, I remembered them (Mum and dad) always saying this (don't be unequally yoked together with unbelievers). To them anyone who isn't a Christian (deeper life) is not supposed to be associated with.. My dad on countless occasion will call his mum a witch just because she was a Muslim and one of the oloyes of allasalatu(Muslims will understand this) and had nothing to do with his family members.

This went on and on like this until my elder sister moved out of the house and in the process of trying to find her feet, she got pregnant and my mom practically tormented her life, she later got married to the man, and for that act alone, she's always at logger heads with my sister and her husband..

Later, I got married and then my younger sister followed suit, leaving my dad, herself and my younger brother (whom I have disowned)

You disown your own brother? Hahaha

Tomorrow is pregnant, just so you know!

Modified

Sorry I posted when the story was not complete. Your 26 year old brother beat up your sister and her children? He is a lost cause

Mcsauce92:
Hello Nairalanders!

I'll try to make this as short as possible so as not to bore you out.

I have been a guest of this wonderful forum for few years now but never saw the need to register because I just read people's topics and comments. I had to register last month because I need to let out an issue which is giving me sleepless nights and almost getting me fed up of life itself.

I'm a young man in my late twenties, the first and only son amongst 4 sisters. I live on my one in a one room selfcon apartment with no help from family, they look up to me for help instead.

I have a pregnant girlfriend who will be due for delivery in less than 2 months, I have sent her to live with her parents because I can no longer care for her financially already raining insults as I couldn't provide for her needs. House rent expiring this month and landlord already sending me reminder.

I used to have a Job before the lockdown as a marketer in one of this banks which allows me to keep up with rent and basic amenities.

I'm at home now with no hope of getting money from anywhere, no street OT and no friends or family to help me through my predicament. Depression is already setting in as I think about my debts and all the bills I'm supposed to pay as a man.

I have never been in this situation, I always find a way to pay my bills but this time I am incapacitated to do so. I harldy feed not talk of taking care of family.

I have read through threads speaking on how to make money online on the business section but each time I contact them they either ask me to by eBook or pay a sum I don't have.

I'm appealing to kind hearted nairalanders to please help me with a business that I can do online to make some money. I am so broke right now I'm ready to do anything but don't have the money to buy books or subscribe for any training. I only have an android device and data.

Anyone willing to help in any form should please send me a PM or email me on grillcoin92@gmaildotcom

I am available for further questioning.

Thank you

If you are looking for cash to solve your immediate problems, online business is not one of the sources for such quick cash.

You need something like Uber driving that will fetch you immediate cash.

You don't have reliable source of income yet you got your girlfriend pregnant.

Online business is not for everybody. If you don't have the passion and skills, you may as well not bother

samsard:
I think it's specific to some Payoneer accounts. I don't get charged any fees and I know some who told me one of his accounts is that way too.

Yes it is. One of my payoneer accounts has never been charged any fee. I withdraw from Fiverr and the fund is available on my payoneer account instantly with zero charges. Even my mastercard was never charged when I received it. I have been operating the account at zero cost both receiving and sending.

My first payoneer account gets charged $1 if I want to wait for 2 days to receive the fund or $3 if I want it within 2 hours

TiyTrip:
I wonder, is it right to call your child names? Names like mumu, fool, dundy, otondo alike. Even worst this starts when the child was just a little kid. This is what i passed through. I remember feeling so depressed anytime i'm called such names to the slightest mistake like droping a glass cup. I feel this can cause a dent in a childs life, most espesially when such comes from his parents. The thing is, it never stops. I'm scared for my life because now i feel like i don't no longer belong. Alot of times i feel so depressed.

Lack of love from people who are supposed to be the only source of unconditional love could hurt.

But, like someone said "prove them wrong".

Find any available opportunity to stay away from such environment/people.

EtssehEsse:
Good day everyone, pls I'm in earnest need of a job. I'm a fresh graduate of mass com awaiting results and service. Been trying to secure one but nothing is coming up.
I urgently need a job at least to be able to take care of my daily needs, this whole lockdown wahala is sickening. I wouldn't even mind menial jobs, (cleaning, laundry etc) anything as long as its legit, I just need to fend for myself..
I can be reached via- 08130465044, I stay in Lagos, Ketu precisely.

If you would want a day job that you get paid per the day you worked which would not stop you from getting other full time job, let me know

Bartork:
You'll get a good job. Keep sending out your CV all...

But putting your address and phone details here won't get you a job faster than it will attract THEM boiz to you.

You said you are a graduate. You didn't state what you studied or what jobs you'll prefer. You only stated what a no degree holder would go for.

I know you may be down. But you can get the best of you keep your hopes up.

All the best

Your advice is good but what do you take boys/men for?

Girls phone numbers are everywhere on the internet. It's only a jobless man that picks phone numbers and start calling an unknown person

Ceeci6:
it depends on what u see as rude sir..

You said that the poster you quoted should mind her business. Why did you post on a public forum if you want her to mind her business.

I wish you luck in your search

Chidebless111:
Pls I need advice on what to do
I have daughter who is 14months old, though I'm not legally married but I and my daughter's dad live in together, and yesterday will be the third time he is physically abusing me that I almost passed out, I choked me and hit my out daughter feeding flask on my head and beat me. Now when I called his mom to reported what happened,she asked me to pack my things back inside, that she knows of a woman that her husband beat regularly And still she's still with her husband,that next time he want to beat me I should run outside,and if I decides to leave ,I should leave and if I take my daughter along she will fight me,that if I don't want her anger I shouldn't take my daughter.... Now my problem now is I can't leave my child for them,as I'm typing I'm weak and tired from all the beating, I'm 26years,I can't continue this way,cos I don't know how long this will continue

No pity given. You guys like them "bad guys". They are manly and can protect you. Deal with your cross

Ceeci6:
hello my Darling sister, I didn't open 3 thread within a day, I actually opened them at a time , its my choice to post where ever I feel its appropriate, thank you for ur observation, secondly, you don't know me, and cannot conclude anything about me, why not learn to read and pass next time, if a matter doesn't concern you, instead of giving unsolicited advice women are always the enemy of themselves.. Have a blessed weekend fellow woman like me.... Advicer general

This is unnecessary and rude


HAHAHA

It put me OFF

farem:
Banker commits suicide after divorce...


A banker identified as Okpanachi John, working with a branch of one the new generational banks in Kaduna, has reportedly committed suicide.

The 37-year-old, who was said to have borrowed N3 million for his wedding from the bank two months ago, took his own life after the marriage crashed.

Michael Okoanachi, his elder brother, said a suicide note found beside his corpse inside his sitting room, revealed that he committed suicide over his failed marriage, West African Reporters reports.

He confirmed that his late brother took loan from his place of work to finance his wedding.

The deceased, who lived in the Sabo area, along the refinery road in Kaduna, married a lady from Ankpa area of Kogi State, while he hailed from Ofu Local Government Area of the same state.

Michael said John’s marriage hit the rock as soon as they wedded, narrating how his brother had on many occasions, called him to report how the wife tried to turn him into a house boy, an attempt he said his brother resisted.

He stated that the marriage finally ended, when John’s wife pulled him out of a car he was driving on a busy street in Kaduna, on the ground that the car is a wedding gift from her father, and he has no right to drive it without her permission.

Michael noted that his younger brother, who became angry and embarrassed over the development, terminated the marriage two months after the wedding, and did not come out of the trauma until he committed suicide.

He said John drank a poisonous chemical suspected to be a sniper on the morning of April 5, 2020.

He stated that his neighbours forced his door open at about 1.00pm, when they did not see him.

According to him, his body has been deposited in a mortuary, while the family is preparing to take him home for burial.

Source?

The guy died an idi(o)t

lukui:
SURE TRUTH MENSTRUAL CYCLE AND OVULATION PERIOD...



Most ladies don't understand this because of much heavy grammar used to teach it, and we don't listen to our body too.





Pls read, start listening to your body for signs and follow the simple analysis/steps for ease of getting pregnant........ �





MENSTRUAL PERIOD:The time blood flows out of your private area, when you use pad. �





MENSTRUAL CYCLE: Days it takes to see another blood in the month. If you last saw your period in October 11th and it started again on November 10th 2017, then you have 30days cycle (count from 11 October to 10 November).





NOTE: It is erroneous to believe its 28days cycle, different women have different cycles ranging from 21-35 days. �





OVULATION PERIOD: This is time to get pregnant without stress. This is 2 weeks after your period or 2 weeks before the next period.





Here's a simple way to calculate your ovulation (unsafe) period.



1. From the first day you see the blood of your period.



2. Pick up a calendar and count 14 days including the first day of the blood stain.



3. Mark the 14th day with a pen.



4. Mark 3 days before the 14th day, and



5.mark 2 days after the 14th day.



6. You will notice you have 6 days marked. These 6 days are your ovulation/fertile days also known as unsafe period. That is if you have sex on any of these days, then you have 98% chances of being pregnant.



7. Do this every month diligently Qua OTHER DAY IS YOUR SAFE PERIOD.



For example: 1. If your period is 11th Nov, 2017, 2. 14 days after the first day of the blood stain will be on 24h of this Nov month (2weeks after) counting from 11th. 3. 14th day is on the 24th November 2017. 4. 3days before the 14th day is 21, 22, 23. 5. 2days after 24th November 2017 is 25 and 26 6. 21-26th November (6days) is when you are ovulating. It is your fertile window and period.





**Don't forget that the 6 days is a reminder that sperm stays in the female body for about 6 days. Any sexual contact in between ovulation period will form something that has ears, eyes, etc.





ALSO...... If you want a baby girl, have sex between 3 days before ovulation (21- 23rd) 2017. For a baby boy on the main ovulation day and 3 days after 24th. ...........





MAJOR SIGNS THAT YOUR OVULATION HAS BEGAN... You don't need a doctor, just relax. After 2 weeks you may feel the following:



1. Headache.



2. High body temperature.



3. Dizziness (feeling of tiredness and sleepiness).



4. Breast tenderness/ size increases just like when you are menstruating.



5. Increased sex drive.



6. Light cramps or pain on one side of the pelvis.



7. Abdominal bloating.



8. Heightened sense of smell, taste or vision (you eat more).



9. Vagina mucus becomes slippery (if you notice, put it in between fingers...it stretches like thick catarrh or snail mucus...colorless like egg white. ...........



N/B: If you have headache without a cause, check back to when your period started.



You can drink both malt and peak milk....don't run to the pharmacist always on issues that can be naturally handled, because drugs are not always good on girls.

Or you can take only paracetamol. �



MEN, read and educate your wives and sisters, most don't know this. Women are not climbing climbing tools, care and share!!!

Great writeup. Although, this is not the general rule...

There are exceptions

KanwuliaExtra:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGOPpSF2OV4

La click la...

KanwuliaExtra:
Before you jump the gun, this is a general theme among black families all over the world. Yes, it also exists in all other races. But the black race always sets new standards by promoting “struggle love”!

Are you in a STRUGGLE LOVE? Please share.
I have been in a struggle love, but I did not put up with it and I NEVER WILL!

Black woken for through “STRUGGLE LOVE” more so than black men.

I had a 23 year old client who texted me about her struggle in her relationship. Her self-esteem was practically in the sewer. Men also go through this, but women are the worse victim. Is this a generational or racial CURSE?

You have not said anything

EhiGid:
The issue is becoming a source of concern.
I don't want this to be a stumbling block to realising our marital aspiration.

Does it mean the woman (the mother to your fiance) does not know the house to the man that married her?

How sure are you that the man is still alive. This seems like a waste of effort to me.

yuswrld20:
RIP to the dead
tragic

It seems Uniport is one of the most high risk universities to attend in the South.

Cultists killing themselves is fair, having innocent students killed is something else.

The recent news of the three students kidnapped and killed...

demanuel:
What if I run ads to an engaging content post on the page (to drive traffic to my page) but my gigs are embedded in other previous posts. Would that be an issue too?

No, it won't