₦airaland Forum

AllahOfBlood:


I'm suspecting jazz

Jazz is at work here

How could a grown man of over 40years allowed a small girl to control him, or is the pussy?
Is pussy that powerful to control a matured and intellectual man?

Not necessarily so. Any such things expire after a few years. Everyone knows what they are protecting or afraid of starting all over again. And any responsible man would always want his kids with him even if the mother may not be nice.

EreluRoz:
Ogiame he needs help but helpless in getting the needed help. Unfortunately nobody is ready to break barriers and save him as he has practically asked his siblings and other family members not to interfere in his marriage. All these are manipulation from his wife , it's sad his family fell for it

I believe no one should tell a man to quit a relationship. He should do that on his own or face the consequences. When a man quit a relationship, especially one with kids involved, their are sad consequences. He alone should make his decision and no one else.

EreluRoz:
He keeps saying it's because of his kids he still have her in his house, the annoying thing is this man is financially responsible for her 100% , takes care of her siblings too. Na him be their big in-law for her family. If you see this man outside you won't ever believe he's facing hell at home. I felt so much pity for him. If he were to be my uncle or related, that woman will be herself pack her things and never return. Sometimes I dislike this idea of minding one's business as that's what exactly his family is doing knowing fully well this woman is killing him gradually. Not me sha, I'll sooooo interfere and unremorsefully scatter that hell he calls marriage. Very sad situation

Well, if you know what most happily married men are facing in their house. Most face less than this. This is extreme. But they keep mute. Because they are not cheaters and won't cheat, the women take them for granted.

Cantonese:
If there is no pure water, why not look for “cold ice water” na? It is well tied in “lylon” and you may even get more quantity.

Na im dey reign before pure water.

First of all, is it healthy?
Secondly is there light to keep the water refrigerated?
Thirdly, how much is one plain nylon? It cost between 3 to 5 naira for one. Not cheap.

Thanks,

G00dharddick:
He is a very foolish judge!

How can you be living with a woman who gave birth to kids you know are acting indifferent from you? What a foolish man!

Men, do DNA test on all your kids

If you don't do a DNA test, how can you know that your kids are acting different from you. In this case, those boys would likely behave like him as they knew him for long and were close to him. Let's just pray we are not cheated on by our wives.

Gerrard59:
Fair analysis. Which is why this thread exists: https://www.nairaland.com/7496716/what-exactly-does-one-enjoy

But I am surprised, your comments have changed overtime regarding relocation and living in a place where the majority don't look like you.


P.S. We must acknowledge one thing: The majority of wealthy Nigerians live in Nigeria.

The fact is the majority of wealthy Nigerians spend almost 365 days in the country and in the place where they make their money outside their state of origin irrespective of whether they like the state/country or not.

pansophist:
When people say there is enjoyment in nigeria, it's about the communality, food, being the default, lack of civic responsibilitiee, and "freedom in chaos" such as hook up, bribery, abusing others ( eg sales girl, house boy) etc

Apart from these, I don't know exactly how Nigeria is fun. If one have adapted to their new home, it's far better fun than what's obtainable in naija

How can you enjoy a place with no light, dirty beaches that's not free, no free museum, architecture, library, etc?

And a preventable situation such as bad roads, dumb police officers and bad medical care can kill you in an instant?

Also, your money can only go far in a functioning society. It takes me about 20euros to fly from Amsterdam to the Spanish islands in Africa (Gran Canaria) , but can same amount take you from Lagos to Abuja by flight?

If I dump you in the desert with a million usd suitcase, your money becomee useless, just because the desert can't convert your cash to value.

It's the same thing with being wealthy in Nigeria. Hopefully the drugs you bought for headache is not fake. Imagine paying for your death.

So no, there is no enjoyment in a dysfunctional system. Just that human natures will adapt to bad situations and create fun in it. Just as the kids in the ghetto are having fun, but it's not good life.

I concur with all your points and it's painful especially on healthcare.

But I still like Nigerian soil like that.

ikorodureporta:
Despite the jappa tide flowing allover, there are some people who don't have jappa in their agenda even though they are not doing well...
Some reasons may include weather, culture, food, caring for loved ones here, lack of strict laws here, etc.
They've decided to remain in their "comfort zone"...

Are you one of dem

The end would soon come and God's kingdom would replace all human government. So why run away from one problem to another.

professor100:
Why no mosque but there's a church, when evidently, Nigeria has a high population of Muslims?

High population of Muslims in Rivers State?

franchasofficia:
Only a military helicopter on a special mission during war and for reconnaissance mission should fly under such weather condition.


I keep wondering what made Dr Wigwe agreed to embark on such deadly trip with his wife and kids, people really get mind; it's not advisable for husband, wife and kids to travel by air on same jet or helicopter, please friends learn from this. Always travel separately as a family, especially by air.


If my wealth gets to the net worth of Wigwe, I will stop traveling outside the country I live permanently, and if I must travel, it will be once in two or three years.


I still wonder the joy people derive in traveling around the world and even the nation, worst of via air transport. I derive joy in staying one place and moving around the city in a car, anything that involves flying or traveling long distance always make me sick, RIP brother, your death really hurt me, I pray Emeka doesn't squander your hard earned wealth

That's the fact

Officialgarri:
I have a strong belief we will go more than 50 years together

If you are ready to take nonsense and keep your mouth shut, it would last an eternity. Note that it's the man that is mumu in marriage and not the woman.

EreluRoz:
Your dad is inconsiderate and thinks about himself alone, he doesn't put you into consideration and that's bad. Don't do more than you can carry.

She should stop calling him. Let him make his move with his money so he would feel it. Stop carrying a burden for someone who doesn't care about you, your family and your finances. If your grownup child ask for money to rent a 3 bedroom flat, don't give him or her money to rent more than a self contained apartment. How can she be negotiating 2 bedroom for her father? Let him stay in highest one bedroom or find his way on his own to a 3 bedroom flat. Accomodation price doubles in many places after first payment. Don't ever start what you can't finish.

EconomistXplain:
... knowing that we all (male and female) love to marry higher classy people. and we regard the pos guyz and ladies as very low class / income level group. can you take the leap and marry one of them i mean especially when u are a working class...

I ask this question because my best guy took to POS, he makes good income nd is now getting past his ideal marriage period. ge says, he seek to marry a lady who works, mayb not very high level income worker, but just good job... unbelievably, his type of job has been reason "all" ladies wouldn't even look at him, all of them citing same reason.

"God forbid, not me nd POS husband"

plz people anything so bad with the job..?

My banker friend full staff, well paid resigned from bank to face POS. He has several POS stores and he's still doing very well several years after. Don't look down on any business. People buy car, train children and build houses from business others don't value.

Jackanda1:
No employment letter yet. But i have been told to start work. nlfpmod

No worries. Get your employment letter first and stop being depressed or comparing yourself to others.

Ab025:
Firstly,
Stop blaming yourself. Regardless of whether you do research or not before joining the company....it is not your fault.

The kind of Human Resource Management practiced in Nigeria is bad.

The question of how much do you want us to pay you should never arise as every role Una company has its salary structure attached to it but the unscrupulous practice of Nigerian HRs is to find a way to pay lower than the salary attached to the role..

Hence they ask you how much do you want to take at the last stage of the interview, hoping that you will mention an amount less than what they normally pay for that role.

My advise - Work hard there for 3 months, then meet the HR Manager. tell the HRM without fear that you feel cheated and conned by the company. On that basis, demand that your pay should be regularised to what is attached to your role in the company's structure. After that conversation, actively commence job searching...and if you get an offer, leave there immediately if they don't up your pay.

It's not Nigeria. It's New York, USA

Lonestar124:
You for allow your mother to die nah, what is that? abi everybody no go dey die again, he or she who do not like his or her life should die... don't be too emotional.

It is sad you don't have friends that advice you against this...There is way of leveraging on someone death for your own good dividend, that is if they die because they went against your wish...if you care to know pm me I will teach you....

Your mother is selfish..

No one should suggest who to marry to anyone because you would live to regret it.

Keepamsafe:
I feel so sad and devastated. Why are ladies treating good men like this

Today, I had to borrow money from 3 different loan app because im meeting a new girl today.

Luckily, we met and had our date and I spent roughly 45k I borrowed from loan app and still gave her 5k for pocket money and yet, she refused to follow me home.

Im home now, lying in bed alone and sad.

Hook up 7k, but I spent 50k today because i wanted to build soul connection. yet I gained nothing. Absolutely nothing. Not even sex and im now in debt, broke like a church rat and no woman to console me. I feel scammed.

Im in a dilemma. help please.

Serves you right. You want to go into a relationship for sex? Wrong. Who borrows money for liability/frivolous life? Nonsense move. You avoid borrowing except to purchase a right asset with good yield that is higher than the interest on loan.

Naijabad:
What will you do if your wife is secretly building a house in her fathers compound.

Absolutely nothing.

Nazgul:
1.7m in Tinubu's Nigeria is rubbish. No thanks to inflation and high dollar rate.

Do you know that at child both a considerable amount of that money would go into the hospital expenses. After being discharged from the hospital, there are still other things you'll have to keep buying.

Baby soap and cream.

Napkins.

Baby milk formular.

Baby clothes.

Routine medical checkup.

Coupled with your regular household expenses.

If he does this consistently for 3 months, that 1.7m would finish.

If he's working for a company, medical insurance would pay almost everything, he may not spend for hospital bills. I didn't spend too except a few minor expenses. Regular household expenses, more money would come to augment that and his savings would increase.

Valoromega:
I've thought about this and it's a very good reason. I won't lie, when it comes to my pregnant wife and the baby, my mother inlaw will go through hell for them. When the baby is born she will be the one to do the caring. I think I'll sacrifice 100k to buy the rice and other things for both my mom and my mother in law. But I tell me wife I bought it on credit ( the seller is close to us)

You don't need to explain to anyone your source of income just be good and you would receive blessings.

Nazgul:
Did you read the part where he said he's not getting anything for his own mom. Besides the wife has elder siblings who can take it upon themselves to contribute money to get their mother rice even if it's 25kg. If they choose not to do so why should he?

Based on his financial status in life, would he die if he shoulder the responsibility? I see no reason why as a husband, I won't spend for my mother in-law if my wife is good. I don't need to be reminded. I bought 25kg rice for my wife sister this month. Giving makes me happy and to have more not less.

Valoromega:
My wife and I are expecting our first child, so currently I'm saving up money before the baby comes, we are also trying to get baby things of almost 400k.

But she wants me to buy Christmas rice for her mom. I've already decided that I'm not buying anything for anyone this December, including my own mom. But she wants me to buy for her mom which I refused becauze my baby is more important.
Mind you, she has elder ones who can't even get anything for their mom this December (she's the youngest). I just lied to her that I'm broke and I don't have any money. But I have close to 1.7 million which I want I to save for the baby and also get a car for when the baby comes.

I'm I making the right decision by ignoring everyone this December or should I take like 100k and just buy a bag of rice and share to the mom.

Personally I don't want to spend a dime on anyone because my child is the most important thing right now

Why have you not done as she said to make her happy? Why are people stingy with spending?

havenz:
At least she for tell one person among her family members, what if something had happened to her badly or she go further (God forbid o), the whole of her plan and the building for be another stranger inheritance. Let's learn to keep somethings out of secret abeg, family is one.

There's no problem if it becomes a stranger inheritance than for a family member to abort the plan.

iCauseTrouble:
It's only jobless men that would want their dick to be up for more than 10 minutes.....
I do everything I want to do within 10 minutes and focus on my life and business

Wise thing to do. One of my friend said, are they building house on it?

Greatmind653:
Pls, if you don't really understand this post, don't comment please. If you're gender bias, pls, read and ignore.

Good morning kind hearted people in the house. Pls, I need honest and matured advice from experience and knowledgeable people in the house.

How can I train my sons especially my 11yrs old boy into a good, respectful, well behaved young man in a situation where he constantly see his father in gambling addiction, and the house is not always peaceful because of this?

How can I make them believe that the fact that their father does not provide anything for them nor anything in the house, does not mean they're not good enough?
My son has learnt the habit of not asking his Dad for anything no matter how little because he knows the answer already. He would rather starve than ask him for anything. Every of his needs, he will patiently wait for me.

I practically provide everything in the house and he knows. Infact my husband and my two sons can be in the house hungry for the whole day if I'm not around.
Any money he has is strictly for betting. He wouldn't even use it to feed himself not to talk of his children.
He eat anything I provide in the house without him providing. Most times it's very annoying.
Most times, we don't talk to each other in this house, yet anything I cook, he must eat.
I'm trying my best, because I can't watch my kids go hungry or stay without light, water, TV subscriptions and the rest. But once he's holding TV remote, no one dare change the channel.

How can I train well behaved young boys in a home like this? I'm so lonely and worried for my children too.

I'm no longer traumatized by his gambling addiction, because I have tried everything, and it didn't work if this is the life he wants, then fine.

I'm traveling with my two boys for the Christmas and I intend to stay in my family house for a very long time. Maybe not to return back here.
This house, I shoulder the house rent, all the bills all for the sake of my children. I don't want a broken home. I don't want my children growing up lonely without the presence of their both parents. But, am I doing the right thing here?
My husband has refused to change for years. all efforts, complain, family intervention all failed.
He's been in gambling even before we got married. I have endure for so long and I'm scared if what I'm enduring really worth it.

I've given up either.

Am I making my children better by staying together here or they could be better when we're apart?
Anyone experience this before?

What's the right thing to do here?

You have tried your best. Continue doing what you are doing. It would end well for you.

Whizzdom:
On Tuesday (21-12-2023), I was having serious fever, so went to buy an over-the-counter malaria drug and one flu tablet. The lady chemist told me to use 4 tablets in the morning and 4 in the afternoon for the malaria drug, but for the Flu medicine, I should use 1 tablet in the morning and at night. I took 4 tablets in the afternoon that day. On the next day, which is Wednesday, I took 4 tablets making 8 tablets in total plus 1 Flu tablet, A few hours after I took that medicine, I felt a sharp pain in my left hear, after which the pain subsided.

I am Welder by profession, I went to work that same moment, at work, I was using a grinding machine to grind iron to make iron smooth, the machine makes noise, but this day, as I was grinding, I could feel something in my brain or inner ear bringing buzzing sound or noise into my ear, after grinding that iron, I couldn't ear anything, all I was hearing is just noise.

The next day, which is today Thursday, I could hear people speak but they have to be loud, and my ears can't tolerate noise at all.

To go hospital hard me because I no gallant because of the series of test they will have me run which will expend my money I don't have.

My question is to the learned health practitioners in the house, should I give it time for it to heal on its own or I should go to the hospital for doctor's opinion on the matter.

Attached are the medicines for your scrutiny, I hope it is not one of those fake drugs.

How much did you pay for the antimalarial and how much for the flu drug? Antimalarial is usually to be 2 in the morning, 2 at night for three days making 12.

lavylilly:
Abeg! He should tell you and you would discourage him or reap him off

Love all trust NONE is the motor in Nigeria
Even family fit run you street gan

People get robbed, kidnap etc every day. Based on information given by close friends, family members. Never disclose to anyone, more information than they need to know. A colleague contribution by others worth about 4 months salary was debited last week. It was evidently done by people she knows who check the phone regularly and waited for the appropriate time.

Tobijays:
no one Should see any issue with this except you got bad motives! You can’t really say if this OP is a good person or a devil Only God see us!! wives wey dy follow person sleep wake up don kill all der husbands for Benin lol na dem be landlady talkless of a frie

Please, tell them. I have seen too many electronic fraud in bank perpetrated by family members, husband, wife, children and you are saying one should not be careful?

Jones90:
I understand where you are coming from, but you know it takes some months to build a house and during these periods of time, the acclaimed friend of the OP would have been dining and wining with the OP without telling him that he's building a house. He intentionally kept it secret from the OP.

Personally I don't see any sense in it. Telling the OP will not stop him from building his house, why then keep it a secret from him?

I don't see any reason why he should inform him. The friend is 100% free to do as he pleases.

brain54:
Just because people do certain things…

Don’t make it right. How can any sane person travel out of the country without their parents knowledge- if they are in good terms?

If na you wear the shoe how you go feel?

And na women Dey feel emotional about these things pass o.!

It can happen anytime. People do things based on their past experiences. They may have encountered challenges and don't know why it is that way so they choose to remain silent so they can achieve their goals. I see nothing wrong here

Peter532:
I don't know if I should be angry or just smile and take it as it is. This is someone that I fed, I clothed despite us being closed friends since we were kids. He knows everything about me that my parents don't even know till dates..We could go to a gathering together and I will be the one ordering and paying for everything we bought even recently because I always acted like the big bro and he accepted I guess .. Just last week I saw it on his status about is house opening invite. I later got a dm from him that same evening telling me about it that I should come through.

It came as a surprise I admit, even though I know he was doing quite well for himself. I know some will call it entitlement mentality but since I considered we were close like a brother we even ate from same plate last 2weeks, I thought I should have known atleast.

Note: I noticed so many people will come in here to call me names, even some accusing me to be someone with bad motives and sort I smile. Not everyone has a evil mindset like you or some persons you know, It's just that when you expect so much from people you hold very close to your heart you might get disappointed and it hurts badly.

Especially when you know you can't do that same thing to that person. I only brought it out here because I wanted to know maybe I'm overreacting because I feel a deep level of betrayal but hey I am happy for him and I will attend the house opening tomorrow.

File Photo for Illustration

Stop this improper jealousy. He doesn't owe you any explanation.

Seun:
Dear Nairalanders and Advertisers.

Nairaland's server was taken down by our host's abuse team because of an abuse report that wasn't attended to on time.

After rectifying the error, we brought the server back for a few minutes, but they decided to take the server down again. Since then, we haven't heard from the abuse team, yet the support team keeps insisting that only the abuse team can help us.

So we had to transfer Nairaland to a temporary host in order to bring it back to you. A VERY time-consuming process. We are not fully back, even though most features of the site are working. We still have a long way to go. Additional downtime is likely; don't let it alarm you.

There's a lot more to say, but I have to go back to work to ensure that our return is permanent. Please forgive us for the stress we caused. We appreciate the love and support that you showed us during the ordeal. Nairaland is too important for us to let this happen again.

Best Regards,
Seun Osewa.

I believe there should be more censorship on comments in Naira land to prevent recurrence.