₦airaland Forum

This topic again? Thought it had been dealt with. My stance doesn't change either. From experience, I've been in girl groups to know that the ones who at the drop of the heart scream their lungs out to say women are their worst enemies are the biggest troublemakers in those groups.

chisco82:
Lol! @D bolded.
I thought every Nigerian woman likes that oo!

Lol, it looks good in pictures, but it's not comfortable. I've always wondered how a mother in law would travel all the way from the village to the city by bus with an intact head-tie. Those old women are gangsters.

babyosisi:
It is a borrowed culture for Igbos
Women's church group and women's meeting are the only people that wore uniforms
Just reading here that Yoruba men also wear asho ebi
That one never reach igbo people side
My husband and I don't even have uniform
Not one
And many Igbo couples I know don't have husband and wife uniforms
Never saw my parents in uniform for one day

I have never seen my dad in traditional wear, not to talk of buying aso-ebi, lol.
My parents don't have husband and wife uniform either, that does not mean my mom's wardrobe is not overflowing with headscarves, george and lace.
You are right about it being a borrowed culture. I even hear some Igbo people refer to the maidens that follow the bride as umu-asoebi. What is the meaning of that? We don't have our own name or what?
Having a theme color for weddings is nice though, I have to admit. Even Oyibos do theme colors.

The only time I saw my mum wear a uniform was during some Igbo women meetings.
For weddings maybe the bride and her girls or immediate family just sew some uniform if they like for aesthetics sake. But to be pursuing guests to buy a uniform for wedding, thanksgiving, 1 day old baby ceremony is just weird to me. Sometimes in church, I just watch Igbo people and Yoruba people during their thanksgiving where the pastor has to pray for them. The Igbo ones would just were normal every-sunday clothes, the Yoruba ones, chineke God. The one ceremony that made me bow for Yoruba asoebi craze was where different aso-ebi was made for the thanksgiving service and party afterwards. The celebration was for a girl who turned 10. Both extended family and friends sewed the aso-ebi for both ceremonies. Omo, I bow that day..

Talking or acting white is more of a black American term.
Educated AAs who speak correct English are often accused of trying to talk white.
But that's their problem.
In Nigeria, we don't say you're trying to talk white.
Some Nigerians feel you have to borrow foreign accents in order to be posh, not white. Some even fake a black american accent, lol.
For example Chimamanda Adichie and Wole Soyinka speak properly but it's still Nigerian accent. This is how they teach you in Nigerian schools to speak. But Toke Makinwa and those radio hosts in Nigeria often speak with borrowed accents. Some may have been brought up abroad like Toolz, so she gets a pass but majority are fake.

Ibo community has always have female deities , like ancient Greece and Rome. It doesn't change the fact that ibo cimmunities are ran by men. women do not partake in age grade meetings or umunna gatherings where serious decisions are taken. neither are they part of the igwe's council. you can point me to an ibo community that has a different socio-economic settings

Uhmm no. The fact that you even write Ibo instead of Igbo make me know you really do not understand you have not briefed yourself on precolonial Igbo culture.
The Igbo ran a dual sex political system.
The women headed by their chosen female leader attended to women affairs, and the men headed by their chosen male leader attended to male affairs.
Both ran their organizations independently of each other but could not carry out intricate and serious decisions like war without consulting the other.
The same way a woman could not attend a male meeting is the same way a man could not attend female meetings and his jurisdiction stops at the doorpost of his umunna meeting. Women used boycotts when their demands were not met and recalcitrant husband were always brought to book. The fast and pray entity (which we encourage women only to do I have to add) we operate now when a man misbehaves is as a result of Christianity introduced by the British.
It is the British who destroyed this political system and elevated only the male political structures because they were bounded by their own Victorian prejudices and the men ran along with it.

So you people cannot do relationships free of torture and emotional abuse?
Is it by force for Nigerian men to be in a relationship? Please remain single, hanhan.
No wonder Nigeria is in such dysfunction.

ifyalways:
The OP killed the woman.

Lol.

Do you really need bridesmaids though?

Soyinka was quoted to have said 'the Igbos voted based on their stomach and suffer from incurable money mindedness'.

This is the kind of comment you expect from small-brained Nairalanders that populate this section not a nobel laureate. The cable authors must be nairalanders.

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
GreatGod, it's not only you that was humbled by that, I am humbled too. What a sweet, sweet girl.

The chauvinist point has disqualified 99.999999% of Nigerian men for marriage.
Their husband material quality is analogous to a dirty rag.

- You Will Be A Nanny To A Grown Man: if God blesses you with a Nigerian man and a somehow scattered one, you are in soup. You've just graduated to being a nanny to a full grown man. You will pick his socks, shirts and what not after him when he gets back from work, even flush the toilet when he's done. Be ready to face a sulking man if the food is not ready on time or you try to get him to do something for you when his favourite game or tv show is on. You will have to pet and stroke his ego almost all the time to make him happy.

Rotflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KanwuliaJara:
Too late o!
To marry a Nigerian man, just fasten your seat belt and enjoy "the ride'!
Shikena!

No shaking! Just dish as much as they give!

Lol.

This is how I wanna look like. No unnecessary useless yansh or stupid exaggerations of the shape.
Slender and svelte!!!

netotse:
Hey, Stilly of the hot legs

Let me help you translate the italicized portion. You don't speak "man"...I do.

It reads, "You did not make me feel important/needed"...simple and short. Not everyman will require a woman does those specific things, but everyman will require a woman make him feel needed/important. Don't pay too much attention to the words and end up missing the message.

Disclaimer: Cheating is wrong, the dude was wrong to have cheated

Who is this?
Lol @ I don't speak man.
I not surprised though. I've always known the more needy you are the more manly Nigerian men feel.

SAMBARRY:
Still fire

Rotflmao. It's funny abeg.
Unromantic - check There's always the stench of banking on se.x afterwards.
Polygamous and NOT respecting the sanctity of marriage - check
Using marriage as a license not to clean after yourself after all my wife is there - check
Engaging in all vices known to man - check
Chauvinism -: an attitude that the members of your own sex are always better than those of the opposite sex - 100000000000% check

- They Are Not Romantic: you want flowers, a guy to follow you to the salon, exotic lunches, dinners, vacations, chocolates and breakfast in bed? Then, a Nigerian man is not the man you should marry. They often consider these things as cheesy and unneccesary. Maybe they will try on your birthdays and valentine's day (that's if they don't come up with excuses to forget). The most romantic thing some Nigerian men will ever get for you is packs of food from an eatery or drinks and few back/foot rubs just right before sex.

I know by now, some guys are already hissing and cursing me probably but it is undeniable that many Nigerian guys have terrible attitudes that make them really undesirable husband materials. I mean, it is tough enough we have to cope with the many issues in the country, men problems should not be added to our weighty wahala. We deserve men who understand us (at least to a reasonable extent), shower us with the affection we need, pamper us and make us feel very special and loved but how many Nigerian men can beat their chests that they can be the man of our dreams or at least, part of the dreams?!!

You are not wanted in a house and you balance there? Is that not witchcraft?
Some people have mind o.
Till date, no one knows what the cause of the problem is.
Na wa! All these razzness...

njokusboy:
Failure, a wife cooking for her husband is no favour.... she is just being a wife...

Op, tell ur wife thank you after eating her delicious meal, not because, she has done you a favour, but because you appreciate her... it's courtesy...
Nd she shouldn't insist on it as though it's a right, does she thank you when you give her money for the food?
If she's the one that brings money nko, you'd not only have to thank her, you'd also need to kiss her feet

Maybe favor might not be the perfect word to use here, but I was coming from an angle that wanted to know which culture tells you not to say thank you after a meal because the poster highlighted culture as his reasons.
Is it Igbo culture, Hausa culture or Tiv culture?
Some things we summarily attribute to culture is actually one's family upbringing.
There is no way someone gives me something and I won't automatically say thank you. I believe that's a thing of upbringing not culture.

Ngokafor:
....Mr dear i dont get your first sentence...so because i see my husband everyday,i should gum my lips and say nothing if he gives me money,gifts or surprises me with breakfast-in-bed?


...thats not nice at all,but i get your drift about the op not being brought up that way,so i guess his wife should understand.

Lol, Naa that's not what I mean. I'm talking about the scenario here and that is to be expecting a thank you after dishing out food for someone I see every day of my life. Well it is courtesy to say so but it's not the world's biggest problem either. It's just not that serious, but very petty . My persona does not care whether you say thank you to me after a meal or whether you greet me or not. That's just me. I do say thank you to people because it's courtesy but if you don't say thank you to me, it will not bother me. That's just my character.
I will not take it to heart if my husband forgets to say thank you after every meal.

This is how you know the ones whose parents were engaged in taekwondo from morning till night. Why won't she equate violence for love? Idio.tic beast! People like the beast should be banned from social media before she spreads and contaminate cyberspace.

edwife:
Well don't we read here everyday that a man still cheat irrespective of anything you do for them.It is a personal choice,maybe he was tired of the monotony,he needed something other than wifey was offering .

But honestly you will never understand what human beings want sometimes,you can't predict them.

read this story and you will understand where i am coming from....

Wow that story...

He sent me various emails saying he doesn't know what had gotten into him. That I'm too independent and don't allow him to feel like a man, and I don't ask about his movements like a normal wife. that all I do is cook, clean, make money and go to the gym to look good for others so he allowed me to be married to myself.

Nigerian men are scary! These men scare me for real, I cannot lie. See his reasons.
Shivers down my spine, goosebumps on my goosebumps.
Hanhan... I'm speechless

Dera25:
Bros I hail o please I mean that I was not brought up with it o. I do say thank you to anyone that do a favour to me but remembering to say it each time I ate my wife's food sometimes skipped my mind, I mean we are too used to ourselves to be observing such protocols. Am not trying to justify my action but at least such things should not be mandatory for husband and wife

Well you have a point there though. I don't think I would be up in arms if someone I see day in day out doesn't say thank you.
However if it matters to her, just do it. I mean she's not telling you to rob a bank or do something immoral.
She also has to learn that you were not brought up like that and has to give you some leniency. Marriage is all about compromise.

Ewuro4:
Ouch !

https://i3.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article2463139.ece/ALTERNATES/s615b/%C2%A3%C2%A3%C2%A3David-Beckham.jpg

FrancisTony:
At emboldened, that's if Nairaland men don't practise what they preach in the real-world.

Going by what I have seen and read, 80% goes to men.

Buhahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By greeting, I guess you mean saying thank you?
So which culture tells you not to acknowledge someone when a favor is being done for you?
Name the culture here.
It's common courtesy to say thank you when someone serves you food.

rather I should understand that she has hormones and sometimes they take the better of her.

Huh? She had better go and see a doctor if her hormones are always taking the better of her.
Don't fall for that excuse.
A well mannered woman is a well mannered woman whether during "hormonal high or low"

Any diplomatic, easygoing, respectful, not arrogant, humble and rational man make the best husbands. So White men take the cake and make the best husbands. They are the number one eligible men on dating sites. God bless white men and women for training good sons who respect women.

mrsmith11:
Well, we r actually four abroad but d youngest is schooling and married with 2 kids so she not consistent in sending money home so that y I said we r three(3).
The three of us r consistent in sending money to her and my eldest sis who pay her well has not be consistent since last year because she gave birth and stop working due to some reasons but she is back to work now so I don't hw consistent she is of today
The second daughter was also consistent,I think she send 40k every month but january this year they reduce her working hours and she has 2 daughters here so I don't know if she still send money every month end
I'm the third and consistent with my 30k but they always say am the man so .........apart from this month end money I do send other once in awhile for any issue arising(hope u understand what I mean)
My mum has about 6 flats she collect rent from ........
If you talk about. Seeding sowing in church then it was have been good but she travel round nigeria from revival program to another
Sometime last year,[b]she called me and said she need 11k to see an optician for her eyes then I sent her 20k only for me to call her the next day she told me she was in ibadan for a church program.[/b]A week after she came back she started complaining her eyes r dropping water or so that she need to see a dr that she only bought eye drop of 6k the last time not knowing it didn't work

Lol, mrsmith. Most of them are the same o. Our mothers do not stay one place.
Who knows where mine is now? Probably in Benin republic, doing missionary work.
Just see the church thing as their extra curricular activity, abeg. They are bored.
Help her create a budget and be firm whenever you send her money that you don't want to hear stories.
If an amount would stretch your budget, don't do it. Family should be able to understand.

bebe2:
I beg leaf her, she wan catch witch na

U know say we edo pple sabi fly,
@ op my kids tell each other worse things, who do I report them to?

And u forget to ask ur son wat he said to d boy.

Oh I get it now, Edo and witchy things, lollllllllllllllll, so that is where the OP was going to? lmao.

babyosisi:
Please watch your mouth o

Rubbish thread.
What did bukatyne say to warrant the hyperventilation from truthnl?
Bukatyne doesn't even insult people. Very decent and easy going. If it were babyOsisi though, I will understand.
The two women were speaking decently to themselves even though they were in disagreement.
Truthnl just ended up looking like a hungry bat devouring his first meal of the night.
Nansense