₦airaland Forum

Hardrive:
If he wins this case in court, he would set a terrible precedent that might just destroy the country in the long run.

are you serious ?

does sperms and ovaries talk ?

pansophist:
It is ambiguous, and I do not want to misconstrue. Can you elaborate?

simple

you mentioned what you call the bad side of modernization (capitalis)


and

mentioned the bad side of before modernization

pansophist:
And your point is?

you cant figure it out?

pansophist:
Shot answer. Marriage cannot survive in a capitalist modernize world. Every fault that leads to divorce can be traced to the modernize world somehow.

fair point but look at the other side

women were not been a chance to education simply becoz one felt that it would enriching thr husband to be,

women were and in african traditions are not allowed to inherit her husband's wealth, the deseased brothers takes everything for her to have hands on the wealth she has to marry one of the brothers or else she goes back to her parents place empty handed

for a woman to survive she had to be married, women are important while she is a wife, the moment the husband passes away, she is seen as an outcastif she doesnt remarry or if she wants to what they built as husband and wife

xtivin2:
More women are getting born, more women are getting educated, more women are getting jobs. Until there is a reduction in 2&3 this trend will continue.
Reasons;
2. The more a women get educated the more she becomes difficult to control except God steps in
3. Women are getting jobs, they feel they don't need a man anyways to carter for her needs.

BTW, I forgot to add the social media, its becoming too crazy

i partly agree to say women are getting educated and getting jobs meaning she brings in income and they opt to leave a marriage, becoz she can provide for herself whereas long ago women depended on husbands financially


Were i differ with you on the "becomes differ to control" as for me you dont need to control a wife but make her understand you and her understand you

the moment you control you end up putting harsh treatments or condition, just like laws of a country they control by putting harsh sentenses on committed crimes

as men we had the upper hand, due to working and providing and that put women under us becoz they need someone who provide for her and future kids

ever since women got voting rights and rights to inherit property it has been seen as challenge by men, the west world took ages to adopt to these changes and has worked well for women

then for us africa we are playing catch up, to this woman rights or the development of working being able to work and being able to stand on her own without a man supporting her

so women are walking out of marriages becoz there something she is not happy about and she has a option to leave than being tied down like many women before her

its the option to leave, some men are afriad of and some women use it as an excuse over a simple matter can be solved without walking out of the marriage

an animal is the one that needs control as it doesnt speak, for an human speak your voice and agree to disgree and come up with new understanding

no one is perfect and the way we deal with an issue varies becoz we are individuals by nature and we were raised differently there an approach to an issue varies how were taught and how much have you developed as person

what worked for your parents 20 years might not work for you with your wife

llprincztonp:
DELAY IN MARRIAGE.
Some girls mentality is very low just like low battery... You will hear them saying "I don't want to marry yet am still young"... "I don't even want to hear anything about marriage now am still enjoying my life"...
Girls at the age of 18-24 always attracts serious men who is fully ready to get married but at this age most of our girls never wish to hear anything about marriage... You will hear them saying "who marriage eeep, who care about marriage"..... But this girls will be having serious sex relationship with small boys of their age... I mean serious sex relationship because at this age, they always have high rate of boys, guys and men coming for them but they will prefer to chose those boys rather than the men.. They are still young to marry but they're not young to have sex with boys... If u even ask them why are you small girl having sex relationship like this... You will hear her asking you back "Who is small girl? Do u even know what I know? Are u expecting me not to be having sex at this my age? Do u want to kill me? And beside, what is your own problem with my own life? Abeg, pack well".
At the age of 25-27, parent will start asking them how far? Don't u have any one yet? Are u not planning to get married? Your mate are getting married? Or don't you know how old you are?... But mind you, parent only seems outside of their daughter not knowing that inside is finished.... With all this questions by her own parent she will now be thinking and asking her self some questions like... "My mate are getting married? Does it mean am old enough to marry? Hmmm but how should I go about it those my boyfriends are not a serious type... They're not even ready to marry yet.. Well, God knows the best I believe in God"... My sister, Did u just mention God?... Hmm!!!
At the age of 27-30... They will now start looking for men to marry not boys to have sex again... They will start looking for serious relationship that will lead to marriage... But the funniest this is that, at this age of 30 no men will be asking their hand in marriage... Though they will see men but those men will only want date from them not marriage... Then u will see them forcing their self to marry a man who didn't like to marry them... No single man at the age of 30-35 will like to marry a lady of 30-35 too instead they will be looking for girls of 20-25 to marry and that is why you will see some men going back to their village to find young girl to marry when they seems that those young girls in the city are not serious about marriage and those that serious too old for them.
At the age of 30-35, if you ask her why are u not marry yet by this your age it getting too late... You will hear her asking you some silly questions like... "Are you God? Or do you want to marry me? Single at 30 or 35 it's a crime? Did I see who will marry me I didn't marry him? God knows the best pls".
At this age of 30-35 they will start going to Church like never before... They will now be a fake serious type.. Her name will now change from Lizy for sure to Sis in Christ... At this age if u ask her for dating you will hear her saying "My brother, am not like them... Am looking for husband not dating if truly u love me go and see my parent for marriage I can't do anything without asking for my parent hands... But when she was 18-24 yrs she was doing everything without her parent hands.
But ladies, do you even know that no man want old version again? Everybody is looking for latest version. U don't expect a young man of 30yrs to marry you of 30yrs as his house wife... Men that will be interested to marry you will be men of 40 plus and mind you, those men have married with kids except you wanna be second or third wife and I know that naija lady will not want to be second or third wife.
Everything in life has it own season and time... No lady that is looking for husband now that didn't see who want to marry her when she was 18-24 yrs but by then, they're not serious because they're not looking for husband but they're looking for sex. Let's assuming u started having sex at the age of 16-20... Now you're 30yrs old... My sister can you count how many time u had sex? Well, let's 4get about that because I know u won't like that part at all.
But let me tell you, everything is not about prayer. God who created you has made a plan for you but when you by yourself changed the plan or miss the road you will now be shouting God where are you... When God is shouting my daughter where are u.. You're there doing Shakara, enjoying your life and talking men for granted.
Why do we have high rate of single mothers and single ladies nowadays? Does it mean no men again? You will see that the old are there not getting married why the young ones are getting married. You as a orderly or senior sister never marry your younger or junior sisters are getting married.... You will now be asking God some stupid questions like "God why me? I mine not your daughter again? Do you want me to kill myself before u know what to do?"... After asking God those questions you will not go to your parent and be asking them some nonsense questions like "Mum what are u doing with my situation? Don't u want me to get married? Mum you need to do something ooh because I will commit suicide ooh."..... But why are u telling your mum before u commit the suicide? When you're committing sex and rejecting men did u tell your mum then? My sister, there is a time for everything... Don't let your time pass over you before you will start running after it.
They says grap your copy before it too late... Don't be too selective... Do not follow handsome... Nobody knows tomorrow,,, poor man today may be rich man tomorrow... I pray that God will by his mercy provide a better man (husband)

MOD. pls push to the front page. it help many

how has not been married became your problem? have you became their lawyer ?

if they choose to take time then let them deal with their own decisions

youngwifeinneed:
He has become emotionally blank towards me, so I no longer feel loved. This is unlike before. To his credit, he has been a good husband and and father to me and our kid so far. Both of us work, he takes care of almost everything in the house and buys every property in our name as a family, while I support when I want to and I earn more than him.

He does not cheat on me, so also I do not cheat on him. However, I have one property I bought in my name, I told him my decision before making payment for it. He did not object my idea, and to be honest if he had objected my idea of buying the property in my name, I would have still gone ahead to buy it anyway, because I believe we are partners in the marriage and I have right to do whatever I want to do with my money. This emotional absence from him started after I bought the property in my name. Did I do anything wrong? What do I do to win him back? I am young, sexy and beautiful woman.

I buy the property in my name alone because I do not want to have regret in the future. Maybe if my husband die or marry another woman. I do not want my children to suffer.

I have been a quest of this forum for many years, and I always read and admire comments from popular people like pocohantas, funmisticqueen, cococandy, elder0001, lilian789, acidosis01, jakandeola, victorian, carammel, Eberechi24, NwanyiAwkaetiti, XhosaNostra. Also, I usually live my life according to your opinions because I do consider them brilliant. Help me people.

you messed up dear, you killed the trust

you say you talked about the property, we dont know how you approached him and talked about it, the approach and words used can make something horrible when its not but the approach and words used would mess up the idea. and also there is difference in talking and telling, talking can be something you are thinking to do and telling can be something you have made up your mind. You said "i told him the decision" you didnt discus with him so that one alone killed his trust on you, most likely he thought that you no longer love him and if to divorce and he takes everything you will remain with that property in your name. nothing wrong with that based on worse case scenario but in his mind its all about trust most like him he has never thought of divorce or anything nasty happening in marriage but that decision of your just making that decision with a discussion might have made him think of the worse

then you say its your money, so on the marriage you are one but then on money you act as if you are single, your are the type of women that gives a bad name to women who work and said to be stubborn simply becoz you now have money coming through your name

money in marriage is our money, the moment you say my money then what stops you from having affairs and say this is my peenis/vagiina ?

buying a property in your name is not a problem but its better to explain your thoughts, like your sit down with your husband and tell him that you wish to buy a property in your name and explain the reasons, the most common reason, you have seen women loosing properties that they worked for with husband being taken away from them after husband dies, as the living relatives of the late husband would use tradition/culture laws to inherit what has been left. Brothers and uncles takeover everything wife and kids left with nothing.

From a discussion like that its either he agrees or says no but then you come up with a WILL that will protect his family, which is wife and kids not family as kids and his relatives NO

there is nothing wrong with buying a property in your name you are just protecting yourself from the tradition/culture that disadvantages a woman when the husband dies

As men we should stay away from our brothers and uncles property in the event your brother or uncle passes away leave these things to wife and kids

Ladyhippolyta88:
I think the reason for the high rate of divorce today is because there is less stigma on divorcees in those days people women especially were stigmatised for leaving their husband's houses if a man even had an issue with his wife he could just get another wife to marry.

People in modern times have choices and are tired of pretending or enduring BS from their spouses so once one misbehaves or falls out of love the door is always open for divorce.

If there was less stigma on divorce in those times and if some of our mothers were more financially empowered like now they would not think twice to leave their husbands who treated them like second fiddle mundane beings.

true

but also women now have an option as in finding a job to look after herself

if you look back the 80s going back most wives were housewives non were working, husbands were the sole provider, society sort of shun away few women who worked as they were sort labelled as rebels and loose simply because most job were around men

so husband being the sole provider and society looking down on those women who dare to go and work among men, most women stayed in these marriages even when the husband was abusive

even if you look now there were few women selling in the streets as compared to now, the modern marriage is still ok but things have changed women can opt to leave marriage becoz she can feed herself by simply having to sell on the streets than being abused

nnadychuks:
I won't argue with you but I believe u understood what I meant by "normal lifestyle"

saying what i think is not an arguement

what is normal life style to you ?

ubunja:
you are too much. People go to church maybe once a week. Obvious during the week the church girl can meet new men at work, school or on the street. Do they live at church and their rooms?

if we take it from a point view the same church girls have the same chances as non going since they can meet at work, school or the street

but there one thing missing the same church girls want to play holy at work, school and on the streets therefore they are disadvantaged

church girls are disadvantaged

why? its the same guys they see every sunday, aslong within the church the guys are the same old guys no new guys they will remain single


then the non church going girls usually hang around in different place therefore it increases there chances of being seen by random guys

its a simple equation, you can never win lotto unless you play, non church girls go out to be seen
whether they sleep around its s different topic
church girls stay indoor as reserved girls and go out sunday to church to be seen by the same old guys in the church who dont fancy them

how does one claim to be the real boyfriend ?

between the two boyfriend who is officially known by the girls parents/relatives?

if both have been officially introduced to seperate relatives and both are know as official boyfriend

tobby98:
Hmm. wordson marbles... are you a female? But for how long will I keep being tested... Test duration on campus doesn't last more than two weeks sef

i am male

remember the one who gives you the test determines how long the test should last

nnadychuks:
Hello, I'm a Nigerian, 19 years old. I've had this feeling burning inside me for the past three years; I don't want to follow the steps of my parents(study, work, marry, have children,etc..) I'm thinking of playing football like Cristiano or Neymar but people around me make me feel like I'm crazy and they make me feel like something is wrong with not wanting to live a normal life.
Is there anything wrong with me not wanting a normal life?

you gave us a half story, Christiani and Neymar are people who are talented in football hence their career is footballer

as for you what your talent ir carer path you want to follow ?

do you know that Christiano has kids and a girfriend so he is a father though not married but we say he is a family man

dont confuse a career and personal life, all these talented footballers have life aka personal life like any other person, girlfriends/wives, kids etc

you only see them as footballers and you think thats it, without knowing that after the 90mins they go home to wives/girfiends etc

tobby98:
That's only done if she is too abusive,proud and full of ego... Guys do this to help reduce her ego....though this is mostly immature but decisive in getting her pride in check

we are saying the samething

like i said there arw brought up being not to accept easily and also to test in you on how patient are you

in doing that she controls the period she wants to keep you in dark, you call it abuse (how) ego and ego but to her she is testing you

tobby98:
I have been on this girl for about 2wks now, and she is forming James Bond though she is beautiful young and curvy... My guy in her street told me that the girl is really one 'Hard to get' chick. that he had in the past tried to even initiate a conversation but she is not forthcoming.
What can I do to get her attention and love? Ladies please I need your help on this
Is it because she is introverted or just naive?

well

1 there are taught not to just say yes

2 guys sometimes kiss and tell, she say yes straight away and you sleep with her then dump and you tell friends that she was easy

Juliusdaughter:
I met a new guy after my friend's saga. We met late last year and he's made his intentions known. I've not really given him a YES answer but my actions have proved that I'm really interested.
We have had some video calls and we've seen once. The problem I have now is that he doesn't give attention. No calls from him, I'm usually the one to message him first and I've gotten tired of that. I'm fed up of making excuses on his behalf like maybe he's fixed up or smth. Do I have to expressly say YES to his proposal bfr he starts making effort to be in touch? I'm trying hard not to contact him for a while but it's kind of hard cos I really like him.
I'd like to get more inputs from a man's point of view so I'd know how to go about it
Advice pls.

never use sign langauge becoz as people interpret it differently

you said he made his intentions known but said nothing but when on to use actions than telling him direct

Chevrolet076:
this is impressive, btw, are you an history student or you just learnt about it?

am zimbabwean

ikuoma4rea:
My wife just developed an attitude that is quite disturbing.just because l get her involved in any project in the house by contributing her own share because she works so that we can get something better for the family.Anytime time l control her she says stuffs like after all my money was involved.but her income is more than mine but l ensure that the rent and running of the house is been handled by me except for the cooking that sometimes l just give her what l have to add to what she has.l could not watch a program just because she was watching a program and when l insisted she disconnected the television set and left with the cord to her room after all l joined my own money in purchasing the television set.she is always against me going to club and hanging out with friends,did that last nite and when l got home she refused to open the door and l had to put a call to the mum before she opened the door at 4am.she is working and earns more than l do but can't l have peace in my own house without her throwing tantrums on me even without been worried about our neighbors.what do l do to have my freedom and respect back because l don't get any respect from her anymore.little things she tells the mum and she calls to start advising me which l find uncomfortable .confused right now.we have 2 kids now.need good advice.

africas sometimes we are poor by choice, lack of knowledge, understanding and learning finance

let me break it down for you

1 we think withholding how much you earn is how to keep wife under control/ it shows who is the boss

2 when the wife does the same you cry foul, i cant control her

3 as africans few have master the power of being two, we love being worshipped as the sole provider, we want to see kneel while she serves us food

your problem is you start by saying my money and her money

being married is managing the resources you bring on table, there is nomore my but our

when i said we are poor by choice this what i meant both of you are working through is earning higher than you, your budget are run from individual pockets than putting the grand total of your monies on table, work out your monthly budget and save the remain either for kids future or retirement. since both of your are running the family expenses sort of individually the chances of not saving as family are slim therefore your wealth is not a combined force it has no value

this how it works in the west thats why sometimes we think white people are rich but not always but the system makes them work together as couple to achieve things as combined force ie wife and husband salaries are managed as one income, they can apply a mortgage or loan to buy a house, their are on the same page on what to achieve and calculation of payments is done the total income of the house

there is nothing like his money or my money its our money.

in simple text someone paying back a loan of 5000 a month on a salary of 30000 month will feel the 5000 loan pay back but if its a couple of total earning of 50000 a month and paying back that same 5000 a month loan they wont cry much

africans we have never understood finance to work as a team husband and wife its all about being individual, wanting to control

how can you plan a future when you dont know how much one earns its an complete equatition


only an animal is controlled becoz it doesnt speak
we use sticks ropes to control animals

your wife is not an animal that needs contolling, you talk and try to understand each other, understanding each other doesnt mean her agreeing with you all the or you agreeing all the time but understanding to agree and disagree

agreeing to disagree is also a tool that makes couple or people understand each other, the moment your agree to disagree you then try to find a better way to approach or solve whatever issue is at hand.

controlling is making someone behave and think the way you like or do therefore making one like a robot, through mistakes, correction we learn to understand each


always remember you grow up as individuals, your upbringing were totally different even if your are from the same culture, village, clan, tribe etc each and every family is different and we are all individuals in character

babyhrt:
I want to make this as short as possible.

There is a topic at the front page about whether or not it is okay for a woman to acquire property in her name.

https://www.nairaland.com/4970457/there-anything-wrong-wife-buying


I feel strongly to respond especially as I feel alot of the responses failed to address what I consider as the core of such a scenario.

PS: my views are heavily guided by my beliefs as a Christian.

This word "Two shall become one" says it all

To start with, when a couple starts acquiring properties in their sole names or in secrecy, then something is fundamentally wrong with the UNION... Something that is not sudden but has always been there with them either as individuals or something about the marriage.


That marriage is defaulted right from the beginning

Such couples have no business being married from day one...they should sit together and sort out whatever it is that is the issue or see a counselor.

Why are we married if you have your own properties and I have mine...means we should not even live under the same roof, or we sleep in different rooms, I don't tell you what I earn or how I earn it and you don't get to know what goes on in my life.

While the idea of having properties in your individual names may sit well with the proponents, I dare say such its only permissible in a TOXIC marriage...but in ideal situation where you got it right from day one.... Couple should NOT acquire properties in their individual names

It breeds division, suspicion and disaffection.



In a family..the man and wife are supposed to plan together, do things together, grow together, face their fears together while helping each other to become better each day.... marriage is not a competition

That is the kind of marriage that I know.

The fact that you are in a TOXIC marriage does not change the standard.

Happy Sunday

MOD... kindly move this to the front page

its a reaction to how widows get treated, the moment the husband does family membets claim everything as their brother's property (trafitional way)

then on divorce its the samething she is kicked out with nothing (traditional way)

you find that this all to do traditiona and culture eg in most african traditions and culture they never play fair on widows and divorcees

if all people would use constitunal laws on death and divorce these women would never buy house behind their husbands and constitunal laws give them the right to inhert husband property after all she helped indirectly by looking after the property, cooking etc for him so now has the right to the left property besides wife and his kids

same applies on divorce they worked together to build the little they have, she cant walk
away empty handed, whether she was a housewife he helped indirectly by managing the house eg the house being clean, cooking for him, washing, helping kids etc even if they had a maid still she would manage the maid thats was her input

if we all see it thise way we wouldnt have the problems we have today

many uncles (brothers of the deseased ) have inherited their brothers property and many failed to look after the left wife and kids

what one build with his hand with his wife let his and wife and kids enjoy or manage without brother dipping in via tradition and culture


our woman are poor, becoz of that we thing only a married woman should be empowered once the husband dies we strip her of what she played part in building

every nation has cultures and traditions that look weird or taboo to other nations especially when your shown a clip without a narration of whats going on

let me explain the video

its a common tradition in malawi, zambia, zimbabwe, to zimbabwe it was introduce via migrants from malawi.

its dance done by married women among themselves when they teach new weds girls, or when they teach teenage girl unfortnately i saw like two very young kids am sure they wouldnt know what the dance for unless they have been exposed to sexual things not through practise but family

back to video, those dances are associsted with what is called chinamwali


google chinamwali you will have a clear understanding


the only bad thing is that its being done in front of kids

akinsmyk:
It's above. Going towards the red line showing the maximum

thats dangerous you need to stop driving it until a good mechanic

otherwise you will burn your headgasket

but dont fooled by being told to remove the thermostat

Nicholas4:
Good evening to you all. My car (2004 corolla) was involved in an accident and the steering airbag and passenger airbag deployed. I fixed the car last year and recently decided to replace the airbags. I replaced both airbags, crash sensors and seat belt pretensioners. The car was scanned and no error was found but the the check airbag light has refused to go off. Please what else can be done. Your suggestions will really be appreciated. Thank you

not every scanner can reset the airbag light

cheap scanner dont reset airbags/abs or service light

some cars you can reset the airbag light without taking the module out and sent it for resetting

akinsmyk:
Good evening everyone. I had been observing my car engine temperature meter going up this evening. I don't really understand what could be wrong and this is it's first time doing that.

So I parked somewhere to check it out. I discovered that the water had gone down. I replaced it, check the oil and battery. I allowed it to cool down for a while. Then I start the car but it won't start. The lights on the dashboard is showing, but the engine won't start.

Pls what do I do? I am stranded here and it will soon be 10pm

can you explain the going up

its a common practice in nigeria for peoplet to take of the theromostat therefor a going up temperature gauge of non removed thermo and removed are different

a non removed thermo car the going up means the temperature will go beyond 90 going torwads red and operating temperature is 90 which usually the middle point of the temperature gauge

then with a car that has thermostst removed your operating temperature would be below 70 its usually on the quarter mark aka in the middle between 0 - 90 which around 50

so your going up is it above 90 or ?

trinity227:
Hello,
Please I am not in Lagos so I cant bring the car for diagnosis, but you can help a brother out by explaining the posible cause of these problems which I will be listing here.
My car is a 2007 toyota Camry (Spider).
It all started on a good day when I tried opening the car with the car remote, I pressed the remote but it dint work, the four buttons non work, I thought it was the battery that was dead so I changed the remote battery but it still dint work. So I use the key to unlock door and went home, in the morning when I try to start the car the car did not start car battery is dead, I had to find another battery to start it with and I drove to work, after the end of work that day I got in car to go home car dint start again battery dead so I had to start again with another battery, it continue like this for many days until I had to take it to the car electrician who said it might be the alternator... We had to test the alternator by disconnecting the battery head after car was turned on , we turned on all the car system including the AC it operate fine alternator did not went off.

So he (electrician) noticed the alternator pully is not turning so he concluded that was the fault, we had to change it and I went home. The next day I start the car and it start fine, for five days it start fine in the morning battery not running down but after the 5th day the battery ran down again, I charged it with another battery and after another 5 to 6 days it went dead again, right now its running down in like every 6hours when its parked, even when I am driving sometime it just go off battery dead. Right now more problems comes up,
1, most lighting system are not working
2, car wiper is working when ignition is turned off
3, door glass control is working when ignition is turned off
4, Ac stopped cooling

Four different electricians have tried resolving this issue but to no avail.

With your experience I am sure you can tell me what to do.
I have the money to repair it even if its 100k but no one has been able to explain to me what the problem is.. They are all guessing.

Please I need your help
Trinity.
Toyota Camry 2007
Location Warri, Delta State.
Regards.

based on your what you said your car might be sounding the alarm, but it seems like visual and sounding warming were somehow disabled or vandalise aka kazeemed

why because your problem started after the your key fob failed to operate aka open the car you then went on to manually open the car in almost every modern car if your lock your car using the fob and the manually open the car the alarm will do off

try this does your fob show usually a red light when your press the buttons? if it does it mean your fob is ok and just need re activate aka to re link to the car like with my audi if i take off my car's battery the fob loses the link to my car i have to put the key in ignition and turn the key on and off twice then take it out and then press any of the button to see if the car door locks responds once they do i know i have re link my fob to my car

lacapine:
House please help me look into this matter as its causing so much friction in my family. We are a family of five girls and a boy. The boy is the fourth meaning he has three elder sisters and two younger ones. They all live in Lagos.

I am the first, married and live with my family outside Lagos.

Now my dad died without a Will but had little money saved somewhere. After he died, his lawyer and this my brother tried so much to ensure the money came out. I must commend him on that. My mum is aged, 67 years. Not just aged, but sick as well. Now before my dad died, he had borrowed money from my mum worth a little above a million naira. She had to borrow the money from her coprative and she paid with interest for a year and six months.

Now this man wants us to refund her money back, this my brother has refused to give her back her money. This money was paid into my brother's account because he was used as next of kin. My mother has a building she began but had to abandon because of funds, he has agreed we finish it up for her from the funds which is fine with everybody but to give this woman her N1.5m is a challenge to him. I had suggested he gives her the money and then we ensure she uses most of it to finish her abandon project as she has roofed the house just minor finishing and digging of borehole. He still refused, saying my mum spends money carelessly and may begin dashing pastors money for prayers which in a way, he isn't wrong. My mum is like that. But this woman managed her home for over 30years with my dad and they never went begging. Besides it's her money, whats our business how she spends it? We can only advice.

I have a sister who works in one of the commercial banks in which my mum operates a current account, I suggested to him that if he has fears of her spending it carelessly, let's put it in that said account which she rarely uses cos of charges and ensure my sister supervises her spending cos Mum can't really do the stress of going to bank with cheque to start filling and waiting, my sister that works there can help her and see to it that she doesn't spend carelessly either in the completion of the project or in feeding. This brother of mine refused.

Luckily my father already built a house but they had been staying on rent cos the location of where they stay in Lagos is close to where my mum worked so she wanted to be done with pension documentation before going to my father's house of which she is done now.

Now there is no sofa in the house where they currently stay nor in my father's property and no television. This brother of mine had to say he would buy one miserable sofa of N30,000 for his mother. I had to beg him to buy sofa before he finally agreed and suggested one miserable sofa. This money is a little over N6m. To even buy television, he says why buy new one when we can repair the one with the technician and use(I had to agree for peace sakes).

Please is there an other definition of wickedness? How else do we go about this?

Lawyers please is it possible we change next of kin? Is it even possible for my mum to talk to the banks Sorry ibtc pension(they manged the funds till it was released) to move the funds away from him? I rarely delve in their matter because I am outside Lagos but my siblings had to call me to please intervene in this because they were tired of his domineering attitude.


Please advise me abeg.

thats the problem of most african cultures wives are treated as an outsider when husbands die

by law your mum is the HEIR to your father estate she is the surviving spouse


when i say LAW i dont mean traditional or cultural laws but CONSTITUTIONAL LAW

Funky123:
Have heard some parents saying if she is not 25 yrs and above marriage is a no for her,but some said they can release their daughter anytime she feels like getting married
My question is Will u release ur daughter to get married in her final yr in sch. Nb her husband to be is a working class and is ready for marriage
Or can u allow ur daughter to get married in her early twenties
Pls matured comments only

experience is the best teacher, am 42 got married at around 27 and when i look back now, i see that i was still young for marriage. the best thing is never to come out blue to tell a daughter that she cant get married at certain age and below but you teach them as they grow and show them the advantages of getting married at very mature age,

i was 27 i wasnt ready mentally and financially, all i was, was being in love and that i took it as being ready for marriage but its not(african wise 27 is the right age but its the number ) mentally and financially we are not.

if you want to tell your daughter not marry early teach her to be independent and show
her examples of those married early and are struggling due to rushing, there was a thread here talking about getting married and within a year a child is born

as couple your barely know each other and child is born, there come trouble inmaturity,a
child to look after and culture wanting you behave like a 35 yr old woman/man who has matured through mistakes etc its not easy

i would love my daughter to get married at 30

Olalan:
Oga we live in Africa where after wedding months later everyone stylish look out for a tummy bulge.........
BTW you can't label people's choice o when to have kids as dumb, this is a personal decision that should be respected.

what do you mean we live in africa ? are you saying those who live in africa cant think of mistakes that routed in a culture or tradition

let me shed some light

1 even if you dated for 7 years(mostly in african culture and tradition you dont leave together your only see each other for maximum of days) you barely know each to understand each that you run a home just as the two of you

2 dating in africa is usually from your parents home/your own renting place, you know each through just visits that are coordinated (its total different from leaving together and adding a child )

3 it is better to spend more 4 years or more having just fun while planning and saving for the child future, especially in africa were from primary till university the education is not free

4 as much your might have pressure from family members try to defend your goals as couple by telling them the truth aka we are not ready financially to have a child so quick, most newly weds are tied up in looking after their little brothers and sisters skol fees etc on top of that you add your own child its recipe for same cycle of poverty

Nollywoodpics:
Loading

was she supposed to look away ?

elRamani:
where is the solution to the problem in this?

or u only wanted us to know Zimbabweans ar on NL too?

someone from outside can have a better view than someone inside

people dont always respond with direct solution

based on my observation he boy more based on culture and upbringing

he needs to love them equally as his kids and embrace the individuality in them without favour

weyreypey:
If you can work the tissue very well.... It covers the entire perimeter of the vagina.... So gspot allover

may be but remember every woman is different so it might apply to every woman

pejuakinab:
You have not made any valid point that is convincing as per what why exactly man get so fagged out after 5 to 10 mins of sex rump.

valid point to who ? you or the one who opened the thread?

there is a valid point if you had made a woman climax becoz you would know that she also get the tired

i can assume that you have made one climax hence you didnt see the so you call valid point