₦airaland Forum

Sirvingeo:
op you got a good wife. She has the fear of God that is why she wants you to do the church wedding which depicts God's involvement. You better don't loose a good woman because of sex o. I promise you a lady that could go this far for God will never cheat on you after wedding .

I wish you happy marriage life and I pray I get a godly wife like her. Amen!!!

stop lying God never said marry in church, marrying in church is cultural that was started, by people it has nothing to with God, Marrying before God means true to yourself and committed to God that i shall be faithful to the partner you have chosen and neither does a pastor bless your marriage its just ceremonial thing to do from a pastor, you bless your own marriage by being faithful to each other and doing good on to others

If she goes to deeper life she may be correct.

No sex before marriage means..

(1) No sex with my fiance but I can have sex with outsider. I want to preserve fiance, so I don't want him to sleep with me; but I can get it from ex or whoever.

(2) No sex with my fiance and no sex with outsider. I am not trying to impress my fiance, I am just again all forms of pre-marital sex. I may or may not be a virgin, but I can never bow to pre-marital sex again.

(3) No sex, I am a virgin.

you need to understand life before the bible and how coming of Europeans with their civil laws affected us and still affect us today

as per tradition their are now husband and wife, same if you use the bible aka he paid bride price for woman hence she now his wife

then the civil laws that came with Europeans, Europeans Incorporated their tradition, church and law to make it, Western white wedding whereby a civil wedding makes you husband and wife but in doing that they practise their tradition aka the groom father walks down his daughter etc

the confusion to us African is that we still do the two as separate things, and on both occasions its guy who finance everything therefore you are marrying twice

the question is tradition marriage not enough to make someone my wife ?

Lordwheez:
Teach him self defense.... Just give am permission to plank the guy when next the guy wan show himself. I promise, the guy will be so unprepared for this experience and would never step up to your son again...... Works everytime...

thats wrong but we see life and exprience it differently

all she needs is to play parent to the bully boy i.e the bully has to learn and know that for each fight he cause he looses the priviledge to play with bike and he gets send home


he will learn that for every wrong he has been told not to do, their is punishment aka loosing playing with bike

Akinsga:
One of the two fans blowing on my radiator stopped working. I got my mechanic to check it and he confirmed the motor is bad. he got a tokunbo fixed on it. It did not work but he looped the connection with the first fan saying that there is no supply from the wire from the original connection. the fan started working but after a while the wire melted and the fan stopped.he put another wire. The fan worked again but after a while it stopped again. i got tired of this and removed the connection back to the normal position although it still did not work but i have being driving it that way since then and the engine heat indicator never go above the half way mark. What advice can i have on this issue. My car is toyota camry pencil.

you need to explain how you got to conclude that the fan is not working, ie drive till engine temperature reaches 90 aka half mark on the gauge then park the car, DO NOT SWITCH THE ENGINE let it idle and within few minutes you will hear the coolant fan running (that is if its working properly) aka No direct connection

the for the AC fan it should run the moment you turn your AC on

perfectbuy:
Many years ago, you could disconnect a battery cable while the engine was running to test the alternator in your car. If the engine continued to run, that proved the alternator was working. But it’s a test you should never try on a modern car because they are equipped with computers and electronics. Disconnecting a battery cable while the engine is running causes the alternator to spike a 25-125-volt surge within 40 milliseconds after cable removal. That voltage spike can’t damage anything in an old non-computerized car, but it can instantly fry the many computers and expensive electronics used on all modern cars. Repairing the damage can cost a small fortune.

Please follow the link below to read more:
https://www.spotdem.com/2019/10/11/never-disconnect-a-battery-cable-to-test-the-alternator/

this BS an atlernater is self regulated unless it fails

hopefully:
I need help.

My husband lied to me and thinks I am naive.

We keep a joint account and it was his idea which is not so much of a problem to me. What baffles me is that he likes to have 100% control over my income, when I need to buy stuffs for myself and the kids, he questions it. When I need to give my parents anything, he knows about it and 90% of the time every penny that goes to my people goes through his account just so that they think he is the one responsible for it and same to his family. My parents asked me once that why is everything coming from your husband and you are working? It bothers me a bit but that is how my huaband wants it. My mother asked me for cash last Christmas but my husband declined saying there is no cash and that we already bought them xmas gift and why is she asking for money again.

I am very carefree when it comes to issues like this, he gives people cash at will. He forced me to withdraw 25% of my pension and put over half of it in his account. Out of my pension, he gave out 300k to his friend and I didnt complain but when my parents asks for stuffs he complains to the extent that he recently said they are liabilities. These are people who sent me to school for bsc and masters in UK, gave us 2k dollars when we had our kids. I make more money than him and will not complain. Sometimes he asks me to log into my bank account to see my transactions. He expects me to transfer every penny of my salary to our joint savings account after I take care of my portion of the bills. He is an advocate of telling the truth and transparency but yet I found him wanting.

Of recent he forgot his phone at home and I went through it. His friend asked to loan some cash which he did. When his friend was about to return the money, he asked his friend to use it to buy a tv for his mum in nigeria. Dont get me wrong, I will never ask him not to buy stuffs for his mum infact when his mum makes I demand, I push to wnsure that he gets it for her because I believe every parent suffered on their kids and they need to reap the benefits. But he bought the tv and never mentioned it to me till now. I kept quiet like I didnt know. Of recent, his mum called and mentioned something about delivery of something to her house and I asked him about it, he lied to me and said it was their uncle who bought something for her. Immediately after that conversation, he deleted his whatsapp conversation with his friend not knowing that I already saw it. I have been acting normally, we talk,gist have sex and all and I only think about it when I wake up in the middle of the night. I plan to talk to him about it this weekend but what concerns me is that why do people behave like this, how do I know he hasn't been doing this in a long time while I am 100% truthful to him. He goes through my phone, checks my account and yet he is not sincere. I dont have any cash called mine because he enforces me to put everything in our joint account, even my pension was withdrawn and over half of it in his account and the while cash is gone. I cant go out to but somethig for myself without him approving it orherwise trouble. Of recent my mum came visiting and I bought her powder and foundation of less than 30 dollars and when he saw it in my account, he complained saying that must I buy her stuffs each time we go out?

Am I being a good wife or am I just DUMB?

Please help!

1 your parents shouldnt ask you why money comes through your husband, its your home she has no right to ask such, you runs the home according to what works for you.

2 its is always wise to act in opposite i.e husband sends money to your parents and you send to his that way normal parents would be greatful to their respective son/daughter in law than to be viewed as your are eating our son/daughter money

3 you talked about paying part of your shared bill , that statement looks you operate as people sharing a house, whereas your married there is nothing like my part of bill, its your bills as couple

4 he wrong to touch the pension, unless if you had both agreed and the money being used for something that has future benefit to it, eg putting down a mortgage or putting the money in those higher interest savings. His move touch the pension shows that he has poor decision regarding the future or retirement it was meant to a family decision aka him and you to decide

5 i think he is insecure since your earn more and he wants to prove to outsiders that he has more money by giving out or buying stuff for other people without your thoughts, not knowing that it questions your trust in him and his leadership as husband

lanre2009:
good morning guys. pls i have an issue with my 2006 honda accord. the radiator is a single cell. It got cracked due to someones carelessness. I am being adviced to install a double cell type and direct the fan to always be on anytime i switch on the ignition. Is this advisable? Or should i just install a signal cell type and leave the fan the way it is.?

I also noticed that fuel consumption has increased on the car, pls what could be responsible for this?

let me decode what you said

the radiator got damaged by someone, right !! meaning before that it was working perfect

so why do you want to butcher the car when you know that all you need to do is change the damage radiator, you didnt have a double cell before and the single one was working fine before being damage

so why try to create a problem for yourself

when you know that you only need to replace the radiator, without any modification what so ever ?

Abortedfetus:
not good enough explaining.
Expand it.

there is no expanding there

assumptions is based on the two things
1 the woman
2 colour of the liquid being poured it looks like oil colour

on average a woman driver has no clue mechanical or any average knowledge of car stuff

then the liquid colour looks like oil

those two will make you rush into assumptions

nairalandposter:
Not every person's body is aesthetically pleasing.

Beauty standards could be relative, true, but some bodies do look better than others, just that some people might not necessarily be moved by what another person considers beauty.

yes but you are speaking your own reflection

which is different from the next person or me

in simple terms those we call ugly there are also married or being dated by someone

nairalandposter:
For those who are always fearful women would cheat.

good body according to who ?

remember beauty is the eye of the beholder

celeb4reallife:
The truth is true love, marriage, meeting the right person, failing in love is so difficulty lately.

Alot of us are scared, too conscious, too rigid to love and give in to love.
Please, share your experience with us.
Where did you meet your spouse? I'm sure it will inspire us. Maybe we might get lucky like you.

Share with us.

no place makes you the right person

its one character that make him/her right for you

theButterfly:
1. This shouldn't prevent the wife from preparing her own meals for her husband. She should just say, "Thank you, mama", set the food aside and cook for hubby as she normally would.

2. To look at it in a positive light, the MIL is saving them time and money. She obviously has the time and money to cook the food she's bringing, so they should allow her and enjoy the free food. On days when they're running late or too hungry to cook, they can eat mama's food.

putting the food aside might back fire, if she get to know about it, she might think its sign of being unwanted

generally who cooks for the food to be put aside? NO ONE

i think MIL should be talked to via her close friends to say if she is bring food she has to presented to her daughter in law and it should under the gesture of cooking for both son and wife

Her son should let to enjoy her wife's cooking, yes true old habit die hard but sometimes they destroy other people

MIL should find other things to do, than cooking for her married, is it that we say " a way to a man's heart is through food" let the daughter in law work her hubby's via her own food without, the mums food in the pic

Renderhelp:
@Renderhelp

My Wife has this bad habit of tying wrapper without underwear in and around the house. I have warned her against it severally but she won't listen.

Early this year, she got into a fight with our neighbor over water. She was tying only wrapper and it came loose exposing her full nudity to everyone in the compound! She didn't even care and continued fighting while some silly boys took pictures. I was the one who separated the fight.


Yesterday she went to the Akara seller close to our house to buy some. The Akara woman mistakenly burnt a batch and the customers refused to buy them so she asked them to take them for free and they rushed to get it. My wife was struggling to get the free Akara and her wrapper came loose again!! She didn't even wear panties or bra under. Stark unclad!!!

She hadn't even entered the house when I heard he news. I was so ashamed. I have sent her back to her Father's house to learn how to dress decently.

Am I being too harsh?

even if she had pants and bra still you would have said she was naked

but she needs to know what to wear when she ventures in public

tpiander:
She'll always need a man.

Nigerian women especially.

the same applies to men

Theyoungmatron:
Yes i am a woman and your thinking is erroneous.SO IT IS NOT HER HOUSE? You see your wife as a visitor too albeit a permanent one in "your" house, same way you see her brothers.
Let me be clear with you--------- in terms of packing, you are threatened. You are already thinking it cos you are sending her brothers packing for " overstaying". They must have misjudged or miscalculated their moves by thinking that they will feel at home in their in-laws. They erred in that regard by not being specific on the number of days they wish to stay but they do not deserve to be treated with disdain.
If reverse is the case, would you like your wife to treat your siblings the same way you are treating hers? Please tell them you do not want them in YOUR HOUSE.

when he said "this is my house," it doesnt mean he was excluding his wife -NO if the conversation was between hubby and wife then Yes it would be wrong to say "this is my house"

but the conversation was between hubby and the brother in laws, he was putting a bold statement to say i am my own men and this is my kingdom therefore i run and make decisions

for real how can someone visit you but doesnt greet you in the morning or evening, its an insult you sleep and eat my hard earned money but you cant show even respect by greeting me in my own house

jarmy:
Some have advised me NOT to depend on my wife's income for anything. Well, that means she equally have not right to question how I spend my money. Is that not separation?

I think this will create gaps in our home.

The best thing is for her to tell me how much she is willing to put on the table.

We both will then discuss what we intend to do with our income for the month or year. This is very import in a home. A man should know the financial status of his wife and vice versa . Many bankers have become rich due to financial secrets in homes.

Manner of approach also matters.

it shouldnt be "HOW MUCH SHE IS WILLING"

its her home too it not a matter of will but A MUST

its mostly men who need to change, especially those elders who take away everything from the widow

once society has changed in letting the widow take over everything that was left, then the attitude of women of feeling insecure will change

fairfora:
There's nothing bad about it. While growing up, my sister and 4 other siblings used to bathe together in the stream. We would even be making mockery of her because of the balls in her chest and she would be laughing, same with my cousins. My dad would even be the one to bathe all of us, including her.

Unfortunately, because of stuffs we hear nowadays, father sleeping with their daughters and even getting them pregnant and teens too becoming wayward. I watched a movie online where teens were sleeping with one another in a secondary school and someone was filming them, so sad. Things have gone so bad in our clime but that doesn't mean teens still cant bathe with their dads, provided the father is a responsible one.

read again it says a 10 year old daughter bathing with her own daddy

jarmy:
Why should a wife be thinking of the aftermath of her husband's death. She is the next of kin to all our properties. Woman and their thinking pattern!

The way things are going many single men will prefer to remain single and have baby mamas here and there.

its because of the environment she is aka she has seen other women loosing the house they built together with her husband simply because of 1 the house in her husband's name 2 inheritance after the death of a husband is dealt with traditionally whereby the relative of late takes everything instead of law letting the surviving spouse aka wife takeover everything

you see in zimbabwe where i am
from between 1990-2000 aids killed so man married man and most of the surviving spouse aka the wife lost properties due the traditional ways of dealing with surviving spouse, the late husband relatives takeover most properties and sold them etc

there even a movie made for awareness of how to deal with such issue, teaching people to respect and let the surviving spouse inherit her late husband's properties weather they were married traditionally or civil

so from 2000 and onwards most parents would encourage their daughters to have a civil
wedding, that would protect their daughter in the case the husband dies, the civil wedding protects a surviving spouse no relative would take anything (law wise) in case their is greedy relatives who would have admired the late's husband properties etc


so the wife would think of the aftermath becoz of how society is dealing with the death of a husband and husband is not also showing the wife that their future is safe in case he dies 1st

jarmy:
So what would you do with your income, knowing fully well that your husband's salary cannot pay all the bills?

good question

besides

where is her salary supposed to go ? is it that when you got married you claimed to be ONE

so his salary and her is meant for the two of you aka your house as husband and wife

jarmy:
What if they don't agree? marriages are successful because there is a will to make sacrifices.
It must be a collective effort and not a one-sided thing.

if they dont agree they need to back to drawing board and find a way to agree to knew thing that work for both

in this case he is saying she wants her own house, lets forget about the car because if money is there you can have cars in family one for each but for me when comes to marriage you can not say this is house my house and that one is hers

nothing wrong with having many properties aka house but having them in personal names while you are married is not a good idea

she wants her own house may be the house is in his name only thats why she feels insecure WHY? (from the few responds i see here when it comes to properties aka house when the husband dies, husband's relatives will kick the window out take over the house etc ) so her solution would be having her own house just in case

But eg if the husband puts both there name on the property she feel secure because in the even he dies before her, she will legally the owner of the house and kids would have a roof on there head

so sometimes it is us men we make our women insecure because we do not involve them in financial decision of the future, therefore they try to have secret future plans in case the worst happen

i agree that sometimes we need to sacrifice personal happiness for marriage to work but its always better to lead by example eg you as the husband lead by sacrificing first

jarmy:
Thanks for your comment, especially regarding the husband carrying out projects without the wife's contribution. Concerning update on her savings, she doesn't give me any update.

My wife knows everything about all my projects. I also ensure that I get her support before embarking on any.

I thinks the problems is her insecurity. I don't know where this is coming from.

i get you but

its you who have to make her self secure like right now you say "MY PROJECT" instead of saying OUR PROJECT

remember in most marriage ceremony they say you are now ONE meaning you no longer think and do things as an individual but as couple, couple means who people who have the same vision, goals and they sit down and agree to those visions and goals

jarmy:
Good day House.

Please, I need the response of only married couples.

Also, kindly indicate your sex.

My wife and I have been married for about 10 years now. We are blessed with two kids.
During courtship, we agreed that we will have a joint budget which will be funded by the income of both of us.

Initially, I was the only one working, with take-home pay of 40k. She then got a job of about 36k. back then, she would
withdraw her salary and hand it over to me. What I usually do is to hand it over to her and ask her to use it for feeding
while I take care of all other expenses with my salary.

My salary is now about 95k and her's 65k. Our children's school fees, house rent, feeding etc have all increase, no thanks to the current economic realities!

My wife stopped handing over are salary and insisted that I should be giving her feeding money. I clearly explained to her that my income can not accommodate feeding, for now, explaining clearly how I spend my salary and other income but she still insisted that I should be giving her feeding money

The thing is she is into so many saving schemes, without my approval. She just wants to save money!
She is insecure and doesn't trust me. She wants her own stuff: her own car, her own house, etc.

I have never cheated on her, I pay the rents, school fees, paid for her post-graduate programme, buy foodstuffs occasionally etc.

What should I do?

the word HANDOVER is wrong

but i would say PUT OUR MONEY TOGETHER

as Africans especially back in Africa few people or family understand what is a FAMILY INCOME

FAMILY INCOME is total money earned by whoever is working either its hubby/wife only or both

Most africans are financially illiterate, whereby both husbands think getting money from wife salary is a sign to say you are not being a man/not taking care of the family and wives think the same

remember the house or family is your family no one else both your salaries should put together and used for the family needs

you find that most men kicked out wives saying i bought this house with my own money simply because of the reason
above, the husband would be too proud to let wife contribute and when things go bad he uses that excuse to say i bought it with my own money

what the point of marrying and wife keeps money to herself without putting our monies together and work as one unity?

Having saving schemes is ok but the question is, is there any tangible evidence of growth of that money being saved, are you being updated every month of the growth of the savings

ebrahym:
Thank you very much, you responses has been very helpful, our auto mechanic came back and said the oil might be leaking via “Valve seal”, the engine body was a bit soaked with visible oil so he suggested we replace the “valve seal”

let me break it down for you

the "oil maintainance needed" as it has been said by someone your "oil reset" wasnt reset when you changed the oil, what is oil reset or service soon, every car has a service soon reminder, there is a counting of mileage eg service reminder eg every 1200miles so if you change oil before the 1200 miles the car will still continue with count then it will trigger the service soon even when you had changed the oils few hours ago, this is to the fact that the oils reset was done, the car's computer will only know if service was done via resetting the oil reset

in your case the reset was not done, it just need an oil reset done


as for the valve theory i suggest you wait and monitor because you were using a thick oil before and there is still a mixture of the old oil and the of new oil, remember when you do service there is always oil left in the engine

PDF:
Good evening,

I drive a Honda Accord 2007 (DC). I was driving listening to the radio and all of a sudden, the radio screen just went blank, prompting the radio to stop and also there was no power to the accessory power sockets (both of them).

Please what specifically could be wrong?

check fuses

oluite:
Growing up as a young girl,it was unheard of to live beyond your pocket money,questions will be asked if your hairdo was too expensive or you have what my mum calls 'unusuals' in your wardrobe or amongst your stuff.Accepting gifts from guys,wahala!!!There must be an acceptable explanation.Talk less of actually asking a guy for money.It was drummed into our ears you must have values,be contented,work hard,be independent et al.

Recently i was so embarrassed when some guys in my office where complaining about todays chics, a guy travelled with his girlfriend for a wedding,he paid all expenses.Suddenly the girlfriend sister and friend appeared in the airport expecting the guy to foot their travel expenses as they claimed to be stranded.These are all working class ladies.Of course no plan to pay back and his girl friend didn't see anything wrong in this arrangement.Another time,a young working class girl ended a relationship majorly because the guy couldn't give her a specific amount for her monthly upkeep. Please she knew exactly what he was earning as well and it wasn't so fantastic?!

I heard and seen many of such from young working women,only to come across a thread here with something similar.Mothers can we discuss this? How did this become the in thing today,where many working single women expect the men in their lives to foot all their bills? Maybe some women are not aware that this is not a good attitude and there should always be balance,boundaries....

these women are a product of what men created

flashing money in gifts and cash was a way to win a girl's heart, its OK if the country's economy is OK where formal employment is very high and minimum wage offer a descent living life --- this was then

now things are tight in every corner and the girls feel entitled, parents turn a blind eye to gifts their daughter receive and boyfriends are being used as replacement of parents responsibility

Jerryinchina:
??

let me answer your question in a very logical
way

going to church doesnt make you holy or better than non church goers,

meeting someone here doesnt mean there are certain things you cant achieve with that person

indiviudual persona is not defined by the place you met them, the place in this case "this forum" it is just platform that enable you to meet people only the rest you do it your self just like any person who has met a girl on the street

a forum let people speak their mind without prejudgement becoz you would be dealing with a faceless character

and people sometimes fall in love with than character, which can be just a persona that comes out when one is only writing

Onyi22:
From my inbox
pls how can I tell my boyfriend that he has mouth odour without hurting him?
I love him so much n I don't want him to have any low inferiority complex after telling him...
Any solution for mouth odour?

thats easy

all you need is to trick him to think that he uses to have a general good breath

if he works ask him what food he eat for launch, if the food is from street vendors tell him that it has affected his breath

the idea is to blame it on the food than directly telling that he has poor hygiene bad breath

OmoAlata1:
As long as there are desperate women everywhere, broke and ugly men can never be faithful. But I do agree that you have less chances if you are with an ugly man. That is why I recommend to date a man who has a good job and ugly. Even if he will cheat, it will not come that easily for him.

The secret women don't know is, ugly men are very very good in bed. They will break your back for you

ugly to who ?

look around those you call ugly are also in relationships and marriage

someone out there call you ugly same with me
at the sametime someone out their call me handsome and beautifull

in simple terms every mother calls her children beautiful, so we are both beautiful/handsome and ugly i just depends with taste of who is looking at you

many people dont cheat because the opportunity is not their

Offpoint:
If she's too sick to wash her panties, then I'll get her dozens of new panties she can wear till she's well.

There's no way on earth I'm washing those shïts... NOT EVEN AT A GUN POINT.

whats the difference when she washes yours ?

washing undies, has been groomed into men to think that, you are submitting to your wife

Traditional men believe that its the wife's duty to wash hubby pants and it is also a sign of wife being submissive, the moment a man washes wifes undies it taken as sign of hubby being submissive and stories of being under charm

someone mentioned the BRO CODE, bro code is for guys are still
dating who run their relationship based on, stupid beer chatting codes while watching football or something

their are certain things both male & female do in their marriages, that goes even against tradition and culture you grow up in but you do it your own home becoz it works for you

if you are disgusted if washing your wife undies, then expect your wife to disgusted by yours

as for me i wash my own pants while i bath, i find it degrading to ask a fellow human being to wash my pants when am able to do it, washing your own pants takes 2minutes while you bath

then traditionally were i came from its the duty of very close relatives to do such duties aka bathing and cleaning such cloths, the thread starter asked in the event that the wife is not able to wash them herself due to sickness by then you would have summoned help from her relatives

where am from its bad lucky for a son- in -law not to summon wife"s relatives is she sick to the point of not being able to even bath herself which means her pants has to be washed by someone

usually her own mum or sister would come to help you with such duties

MisterKings:
What other term is used to refer to plugs. When I search how many plugs a Honda civic 2008 uses. I don't see anything related to plugs. Be like say yankee dey call am another name

you dont search engine size based on plugs but based on engine size, engine size and vesion sometimes can gives you an idea of the engine configuration

eg 3litre V6 meaning its a 3litre with a configuration of 6 plugs, 3 in each side in a V formation

most nigerian cars are US import therefore you find them with big litre engines and V configuration or with straight line aka I formation but with more than 4 cylinders


so its the engine size and formation that determines the number of plugs, here in europe we have smaller engine that can be 1litre with I formation but with 3 cylinders meaning its has 3 plugs

then you can have 1litre engine I formation with 4 cylinders meaning it has 4 plugs


generally a plug represent a cylinder

https://auto.howstuffworks.com/question366.htm