asdfjklhaha: Ok so I came home cos we've closed for the semester. And in the evening I came into the living room and saw dad sitting on the couch watching TV so I sat on his laps. then mum walks in and pulls me by my ear and tells me never to sit on Dad's laps again.
I felt very bad and angry. did I commit any crime if I can't sit on my Dad's laps who's laps should I sit on.
its seems mentally
you are still a baby
the main issue here is you are now a woman/girl of sleeping with age
hence such interaction are sort of taboo
i dont know way your father feels comfortable letting seat on his lap to the point where you feel entitled that you ask who's lap should you seat on
Realslimshady: So I'm a teacher in a private school, we are holding an angel and mortal event where you pick a name and buy gift for the person whom you picked. This female colleague is a married Yoruba lady, she has a newly born baby, she is someone who I respect a lot. She should be in her mid thirties and the gift I intended on buying for her is within the range of a limited budget of 500naira to 1000naira. What type of gift do you recommend?
you are very dumb
she has a new baby that the answer to your question
buy gift/s for the baby simple
you respect her so much so you cant by anything personal for her
Logobenzz: Only a poor man will cook for the wife.simple! I want see I go visiting and see one of my brothers in the kitchen. God knows I will be pissed. How I go buy house with my money,run the house and take care of all real bills then come back home to cook? E no go funny for the woman weh go tell me that BS o!
your mind is narrow because of your environment and thinking
but at the end of the day its what works for you
let me open your eyes abit
Here in the west like UK, it depends with lots of things eg african adopting the new type of life etc
lets say both of you are full time workers wife is a nurse they usually so 12hrs shift and yourself you do 8hrs shifts
so lets say wife had two days of 12hours shift and on the 3rd day she started 0700 and finished 1900 and got home around 1945. you as husband you did your usuall 0900-1700 so are going to seat and wait for her from 1730 till 1945 to start cooking?
she would be very tired already lets say she starts cooking around 2000 and 2130 dinner is ready 2200 she goes to bath and go to bed, in the bedroom you want sex, this is the same woman who did a 12hrs shift and at 2hrs of cooking and finally you want sex so basically she has been working average 16hrs including the cooking
in such situation you help wife with little things eg boiling the meat or doing the rice, or running a bath for her etc, she will have the energy to cook for you even after doing a 12hr shift because she has seen the effort you have done to makes things easy her, she would see your apprication in trying to help
your mind is based on the life of our fathers and beyond as jobs as in working were for men, hence our mothers stayed home looking after kids, therefore wife had no reasons to not cook for men
am saying wife should say its your duty to cook but help out of love, there is nothing wrong seeing your brother cooking while you are there its there home if it works for them leave it, go and control who cooks in your own hone
Dremovre: Audi a4 quattro 2001 v6 engine, automatic transmission. The timing belt cut off and the valve bent. The cylinder was worked upon and the gasket was replaced but ever since the car has been over heating once it is in traffic for too long but will get back to normal once the road is free. I've changed the fan. I've changed the water pump I'm bid to flush the radiator but I am not sure if it will stop this persistent problem. Pls I need experts who can help solve this!
was the car bleed properly ? aka removing air bubbles from coolant system ? very soon younwill blown your headgasket again
iwaeda: Six men have landed themselves into trouble after they were convicted of performing money ritual popularly known as “mubobobo” in Zimbabwe, with 63 pairs of women’s panties in a graveyard. The ring leader of the group Handerson Chiwondo fled from the court leaving his disciples to bear the brunt of the judgment after Chief Makope’s traditional court in Nzvimbo village, Chiweshe, Zimbabwe, gave its ruling. File photo: pants The culprits pleaded guilty to the charges and exposed 70-year-old Handerson Chiwondo as their leader who then fled before the judgment.
The syndicate was only caught after traditional leaders summoned Bulawayo prophet Rutendo Mapurisa, also known as Madzibaba Sejiby from Umguza district to expose the criminals. Murder of Credit switch boss: Police beam searchlight on family members Chief Makope confirmed the incident and said six of the culprits pleaded guilty to the charge but one of the accused distanced himself from the allegations and called for a different set of prophets to prove his innocence. “After the prophet from Bulawayo (Madzibaba Sejiby) identifying the culprits five of them said they were initiated into the “mubobobo” syndicate by the villager who fled after they were given small sticks which they used when going to bed.
“Five of the culprits wept in court, pleading guilty to witchcraft so I fined them 16 cattle and four goats since they were initiated unknowingly,” Chief Makope said. Chief Makope is appealing for prophets who are not from his jurisdiction to come and prove the innocence of the villager who pleaded not guilty. The traditional leader said if the villager is found guilty, he will be judged harshly for wasting the court’s time.
Ggoo: Hello. I have sisters from the same father but different mothers. Whenever they are introducing me, they tagged it "my half brother" which get me pissed at times. The funniest thing is that they don't call their same mother and different fathers brother or sister "half". They are even addressing a far relative which is well to do as " my brother". One of them sometimes referred to me as "my father pikin". I don't know what's your take on this but I think maybe because I haven't arrived yet and still hustling to become somebody.
usually half brothers/sisters get the nasty attitude from a bitter parent. generally where there is a half sister/brother means parents separated and when one get introduced, you get treated as if you are the reason they separated
then usually when you are raised by one parent and born of different fathers/mother you would rarely call each other half simple because though you might have different fathers/mothers the fact that one parent raised you both or more you become sort of a team hence you brush off the HALF BROTHER/SISTER label
YoungFr: I started with the issues of marriage cos it all started during and after my marriage, people may asked why I didn't tell him before putting it up for sales. I owe the land not my dad
by law your father has no right to tell you want to with your property aka your land in this case
as a father he can advise you what to do but the decision can always be yours but also some people do what parents say just a sign of respect
but sometimes respect dont pay bills or give you more money
the decision is yours on your land, you either follow what your father says as a sign of respect or your stand by the right being the land owner and you can sell to anyone
YoungFr: Good evening Nairalanders, please read and advice me on what to do without minding the errors
Some months ago I made a post here https://www.nairaland.com/4676286/im-big-mess-please-advice. After going through all the advice I decided tell my girlfriend (who's now my wife). When I told her everything that happened she gave me just one condition and the condition was that I pay her bride price because we were not legally married before the incident or she will leave with our daughter who's just a year plus.
When I was preparing for the marriage my dad made me go through hell all because he doesn't like my wife (who's an Esan girl) like the other girl who was pregnant for me(Urhobo girl). I did all the marriage arrangements myself without the help or assistance from my dad, on the day of the marriage I provided vehicle for him and his meeting people, the food and all the refreshments. All he was saying is that I have changed since I started dating my wife. I told him things for rough for me but he never believed me.
This is the same person who told me he need a bus of 1.1m for public transport and I gave him 950k, I paid rent his rents numbers of time and even gave him 20k for his meeting for straight five months when he said things was rough for him.
After my marriage I decided to sell my plot of land with foundation on it cos I wanted to get another land in an unknown location to my dad and also pay off some debts. When he found out I wanted to sell the land he said I have no right to sell my own land, saying moreover the price I gave the buyer was too cheap for the land. But before he founds out I already collected 450k from the agent who refereed the buyer to me. Now my dad said he wants to return the 450k and get the paper of the land back, I told him to go ahead cos I know he doesn't have the money and I pulled myself out from the land issue.
My problem now is that the person who gave me the money is on my neck, she called today saying I should come get the balance money. I told her to meet my dad cos I already pulled myself out. Although I and the woman wrote and sign a piece of paper saying I have agreed to sell the land 1m which I have been paid 450k and the paper will be transfer to the buyer on completion of the 1m.
Please advice me on what to do, should I pull myself out and never get myself involved, can I get back the land or I should let go of the land to my dad.
Note: I'm the sixth child, third son of nine children.
Modified: One of the reason I didn't tell him about selling of the land was his attitude during my marriage, his lack of understanding and him pointing fingers at my wife.
Lalasticlala seun please help move this to front page for advice. Thanks
i will go straight to the point
the issue is about land but you gave us the story about marriage etc which has nothing to do with land
back to the land issue you didnt tell us who owns the land you or your father or both off you
we can not give advise when we dont know who really owns the land
Elesta: Hello family, I have a long post about my terrible marriage. Please bear with me, I just have to pour everything out because it's killing me slowly. I am in my mid 30's ,got married to this man in his mid 40's who has never been married before.We attend the same church although different branches, so the pastor of his branch and the pastor of my branch brought us together. We started dating and he seemed head over heels and started talking about marriage immediately. At first, the way he was talking and his reaction to things I wasn't interested and I even told him, but he begged me and the pastor begged me so I overlooked and continued especially considering my age. If I wasn't in my mid 30's and if I hadn't done fibroid operation and so, eager to take in, I won't have made this terrible mistake. We also work in the same place so everything seemed perfect.
Now we started making wedding plans just after one month of dating and we got married 4months after because of church process. It seemed blissful but I stumbled on his messages with a lady he was saying before me and eventually at the same time with me. I discovered he kept begging n begging her even while me n him were dating .he kept telling her to agree to attend his church or dey can be going to their separate churches but the girl kept insisting that they should attend the same church. I. e. he should leave his church and she will leave hers. Don't get me wrong, if this had happened before we started dating, I wouldn't have gotten angry. but all these happened while we were serious and even after he came to see my father, I discovered he was still pleading with her as per church matter. Who does that?? So what if she had agreed for the church matter, he would have dumped me n embarrassed my dad??
I brought it to his notice and he kept saying he never meant it, he was just using it as an excuse not to marry her.
Now in the marriage, emotional abuse never ends. Just fewonths into the marriage, he started behaving somehow bcoz I hadn't taken in. all kinds of insults oh. one day, he said if he knew I couldn't have children he won't have married me. this was just 4months into d marriage. any little thing he complains. on weekends, he expects me to get up by 7am m start preparing his breakfast oh. weekend which is supposed to b for resting since we work Monday to Friday. Every little thing, he keeps saying if he knew he won't have married me. I still remember how he slapped me several times, he insulted me n i insulted him back, that was what caused d slap. even when he saw me crying he wasn't moved. I have complained to family members and friends ,they have spoken to him, he will change for a while and later go back to his terrible ways. I have never seen this kind of acrimony between couple. I am not a bad looking person, I have dated people in d past, they didn't treat me half as badly as this one. I was just too unserious. I want to leave this torture. but we work in the same place and I am trying to avoid wagging tongues. I just tired. I have seen and experienced mutual love and it's not like this. I long to share love with someone that loves me just the way I am. I don't deserve to be with this animal. When it comes to food, he eats so angry if his food isn't ready on time.
Please I need advice. he went for test n it was discovered he has low sperm count. that made him humble for some fine but recently he started saying again that if he had married a younger lady, d lady would have been pregnant by now. just imagine this kind of torture. God knows I have absorbed so much from this man
my dear though the husband is a devil in his own way
you are partly to blame in the situation you are in
you pleased two masters in getting married, yourself and the church
you can only really serve one master which is yourself, the church pushed you into rushing to marrying the guy
where is the church now ? all i can say is go back to church for counselling
LilMissFavvy: No please, I was not trying to look down on the amount of bride price, ok? My problem is that the men complain about it, they make so much fuss about bride price, they feel the women are not worth it. Yes, the bride price is significant, I only mentioned that some bride prices are so cheap, to clarify my views on why men should stop complaining, cuz it's not too much a sacrifice. Am not even bothered about name change, my point is, men should always remember that a woman had to let go her father's name, which is a big deal, to bear his name, show a little appreciation, simple.
men we moan about bride price as if its charged by women when in fact most african bride price are charged by the same men who moaned about it when he got married
he repeats the same cycle when his daughter is getting married
Halo22: Please don't expect any name to be mentioned, but trust me, this is a real life story. I have this friend of mine who lost his father at a very tender age of about 7 and was left with his poor mother and two sisters. Things became very hard for them to the extent that the mother resorted to all manner of menial jobs in order to fend for them. As they grow, things Continued to be harder for them. Then came one of his uncles who was a teacher and was trying to assist them, even though he would ensure that they worked out every penny he would offer them in one way or the other. As the guy was growing, he was working very hard, in order to train himself in secondary education. After his SSCE, his cousin( ie, the teacher's son) suddenly became rich via online deal and promised to train the guy in the university. At a point things went sour between them and my guy decided to go for business at Onitsha. He was already doing well in the small scale business he learnt and was helped to establish by the man that trained him in the business. After about two years, his cousin having been well established financially, told him to return to school and forget about what transpired in the past. When he told me about it, I advised him to focus on his business and maybe sponsor himself through school later, even his boss in business advised him in the same manner. But he didn't heed our advice. He then returned to Enugu for university education and secured admission at the state university. But then, in his second year(200level),his cousin started putting up a kind of attitude of not assisting him with school fees like he did earlier and the guy would call him but he won't pick his calls, if he does, he would start giving flimsy excuses of not having money, even when he would be seen spending money frivolously at clubs and beer and beer parlours. The situation continued for the poor guy until he dropped out of school. Now, he has nothing to hold on to as he completely abandoned his business. What the cousin is now promising, is to send him overseas which he has been delaying for about three years or more now, even when he is one of the richest guys in the community. As it is now, my guy is totally depressed and frustrated which has led him into taking Indian hemp and alcohol in excess. I know people are wicked these days, but I can't believe that someone could be that wicked to a stranger, let alone his cousin.
this is stupidity
he could have carried on with business, while going to uni
how can one drop off from good running business and go to back to uni were the fees are paid by someone else, when you business could have paid uni for you.
damiloladuke: Was Anthony Joshua loss to Andy Ruiz fixed? Well you are about to know that as a Nigerian man believes so in his own opinion.
The Facebook user identified as Seun Taddy Duro-Fadipe, while taking to the platform, wrote that there was no way the Mexican boxer could have defeated Anthony Joshua and the loss was all a script.
He wrote his opinion on his Facebook page where he mentioned that no one actually wanted to fight Anthony Joshua before Ruiz showed up in the scene
Well played AJ... Here is exactly why I think this match was fixed.
No one wanted to fight Joshua. Ruiz picked up this fight just 6 weeks ago. Properly scripted.
1. Pot for the rematch will be X10 what was generated today becos of hype
2. Joshua will beat Ruiz very very comfortably.
So, Was Anthony Joshua loss fixed?
Seun then further wrote that now that a rather unknown boxer has been crowned the World Heavyweight Champion, he believes that Wilder and Fury would want to come out to challenge Joshua.
3. Wilder and Fury will be scrambling for who should go at AJ first. Same people that were demanding a planet as a ruse not to fight Joshua.
Flooring Anthony Joshua is the classic boxing movie script. Tyson 90', Lennox Lewis 2001, beat the undefeated champion, get him more contenders who'd take a shot at his title therefore generating buzz and more pay for him.
efefemi: A mother of two who pleaded anonymity has taken to social media to ask members of the public whether it was wrong to ask her husband to wash the dishes. According to her, her husband lost his business to scam and she has been the one catering for the family with the little she earns from her restaurant business. She said: “Truly, My husband was the one who opened the restaurant for me, I cook very well and I still do my cooking by myself as I only direct my staffs on what to do. “My husband lost his business to scam and since then it’s been me carrying the responsibilities, most of my staffs left because I could not pay them and at some point, all of them left and I had to do everything by myself. “My husband is doing nothing yet, he just sits at home and maybe go pick the kids from school and all, so yesterday I had lots of customers in the shop, I was doing everything by myself, so as soon as my husband walked in, I asked him to help me rush to wash a few plates while I serve, and he looked at me in some strange way, I repeated myself and he slapped me in public, and walked out. “I ignored the embarrassment and even most of my customers left, when I got home I noticed that he moved his things, I called his phone and he said he is in his friends place till he gets a job he will come home, that I should take care of the kids. “He cut the call I tried to call and the next he blocked me. “What did I do wrong, who is supposed to be upset? I just need to clear my conscience.”
both are victims of their own tradition and culture
let me explain
Am 42 years old the time i grow up, boys were not allowed to do kitchen related chores, hence most people of my generation both gender were by default raised knowing cooking or any house chores are for women.
i was lucky that me and my cousin being the 1st sons were taught to do all the house chores, where families that had mixed kids, boy stayed off kitchen, there was even names for boys that loved hanging around kitchen and they would be bullied for that
so on this couple if the guy was raised to believe that its women job to do the dishes and he never changed as eg now he is married he can actually help wife in doing the dishes and these aint even house dishes but for business, so generally he cant help wife in doing bits for business, no wonder the business is not returning profit
then i think its a Nigerian thing i hear it alot, "I OPENED BUSINESS FOR HER" its more like husbands open business for wife and they got nothing to do with the business. Whereas in my world once you are married there is nothing like business for HER, it should be OUR BUSINESS but run by wife, so in the slapping of the wife if he knew the runnings of the "wife's business " he wouldnt have slapped her becoz it meant that she is busy doing something else serving customers
this couple are trouble becoz of culture and tradition upbringing and not moving with time, since he is not working, why cant he help ie running around to cut business cost so that the remaining income source makes more profit
his slapping is both anger from being conned and also culture and tradition values, that he thinks that it was wrong for wife to ask him to do dishes, nigga its your "wife's business" help her, you shouldnt be ashamed with what bring food on the table
oblo: You are stuck in a desolate place cuz your battery gave up on you in your auto drive 2006 honda accord. U tried all you could but it never could start cuz the battery was too weak to fully crank up the engine. Is there no way that car can be jumpstarted I want opinion from gurus in car tech if there is any way it can be done without any major negative effect on the car. Let's all learn.
there is a difference between jump starting and push starting
you are asking about push starting
any car can jump started, jump starting is when either connect cables from another car to your car or use jump start packs nowdays there are portable jump packs
SageMK: Most men wouldn't even share their last bottle of beer yet she expects to us to share our wife?! She is crazy.
I am not disputing the fact that polyandry is impossible.
But with so many fishes in the ocean, why should four men settle for one fish? — I can't fathom such fúckery.
Let her get a man that'll marry her first. Before you start day dreaming about four. Marriage is not football abeg.
you are going too far let me simplify it
if she would sleep with those four men weekly and she fall pregnant, who among the 4 men would claim be the biological father ? NONE unless a DNA test has been done
ezzylee: A friend of mine said she was stopped by an FRSC official in Abuja because she was using google maps at a traffic light stop. She wasn’t holding on to the phone, the phone was located in the compartment just below the A/C controls. The man let her go because she mentioned she’s related to a BIG INDIVIDUAL in Abuja.
My question is, is it in the law that using google maps in your car is a crime because there’s no difference between using google maps and using the NAVIGATION SCREEN (if available) of your car.
Thanks.
i might be wrong but it depend how he narrated to you
using google maps is not the problem but using the mobile phone while driving is against the law
let make it simple in UK using the sat nav for directions is NOT against the law but touching aka typing directions on the sat nav while driving is against the law, one should pullover on a safe spot input destination then drive
so your friend while he was at the traffic light did he touch the phone? if yes the he technically broke the law
aybabz101: hi everybody, I have a GF and we've been dating for quite some times now. she is nice, beautiful and I really likes her. everything about her has been smooth but I have a little problem with our sex life.
One thing that I have observed about her is that she is afraid to demand for sex and to express herself during sex. Whenever we want to have sex, I always initiate it and she enjoys it a lot. I know she love sex but she always pretend as if she doesn't.
I have sat her down severely to tell her I am a free person, that she should express herself to me. That she being wild in bed will not change my view about her. I initiate all the styles in bed which I believe she enjoys too.
The problem is I feel like I am controlling her and I am not comfortable with this. I initiate every aspects of our sex life and its disturbing me. I want her to challenge me, to demand it from me. sometimes I even feel like a slave master. pls I need candid advice
i know that english is second language, may be you chose the wrong word "SEVERELY"
in my world you can not "sit down severely" someone and talk about your sex life
you have to set the mood and environment eg lets say to you have done the 1st session and you are cuddling to regain energy for next session, thats when you encourange her not be shy in initiating sex etc
004gist: Ask your wife if her son he carried for good 9 months, breastfeed and cared with or without your input now married a wife and before he send her money in the village the wife must approve of it and also know like they both agreed first before the son can send her money.
Imagine the Nonsense and ingredients
Unless the money belongs to your wife.
a clever man will tell his wife and same with a clever woman
let me explain
most mothers think there are entitled to her son's money even when the son has his own family to look after.
but to the scenario, there is a sort of built in cat and dog relationship between daughter in laws and mother in law so play clever on the two, if the husband sends money to his mother he should send it saying, it come from his wife and the same with wife if she sends money to her parents she should say its from son in law
this way your are sending a message to say you work as a unity in home, sending the wrong signal creates a problem one wont feel respect, telling the wife doesnt mean it needs approval but you are keeping her into the loop
a good mother in law will say thanks to the wife even though she was given the money by her own soon, and wife wont be surpraised be hubby told her.
LilMissFavvy: It's an African belief, a backward outdated kind of lifestyle. House chores and cooking is supposed to be shared by couples in this modern era, if both are working class. Gradually, the tables will turn, probably in few decades time.
its not outdated belief my dear
your circumstances determine the roles whether you call it culture or tradition remember half of the world expect the man to look after his wife in general it means providing, while she manages the provisions, in that sense the men go out work while she manages the house and kids, he bring out food etc directly eg he went to fish or works 9-8
now things have changed as in law (women rights &equal pay etc ) , working environments support women but it still hasnt taken away the women roles of cooking for her family and neither has it stopped men to work becoz the wife is working too
then poverty or the economy has forced many women to go out and work becoz what the man brings is nolonger enough there are not sticking to the old type tradition just being a housewife and let husband bring in food at the table
bad economy and poverty nothing about roles in the house
How then will you trace your ancestry to.your husband side because you are married to him
What kind of foolish country is this bikonu
you see the bigger picture than most people
and also
what does the State one comes from has to do with marriage? and which use does it have to do with marriage on choosing your own state or husband ?
its all tribalism which makes us hate each more
one's state of origin (be it a country, State, town, city & tribe or race) can not be changed due to marriage its your identity with or without marriage
taking your husband or keeping your doesnt put more money on the table and neither will it if one dies
Sandrazima: The culture of women cooking and doing house chores was created at a time when women didn't work and just stayed at home all day as their husbands brought home food and money. Now that women also bring home money why should they be the ones to cook and do chores?
Why should a woman go to work, get home in the evening and still be the one to cook and clean the house while her husband who did the same amount of work as she just sits and relaxes? I think men should also cook and do house work.
good question
but you have to look at the bigger picture
as much as we have more women working than before it doesnt mean the old tradition of roles will just die like that
lets look into 1st world countries, the laws of divorce still favour the woman if she was just a house wife meaning, those roles you are trying to question are still being supported indirectly by law
so the role within culture and tradition it still expect the wife to cook whether she works or not
now its up to individuals to divide roles and they wish in their marriage without the influence of how their were raised or the culture and tradition around them, they should start something thats works for them, than following culture and tradition
kunleweb: And you don't feel/think idols influence wrong decisions, send wrong persons into people's life's or triggers a negative cycle to be kept in place?
Note spiritual negative schemes always hide behind. Faulty logic all the time
i dont dispute what you said
but its hard to separate the influence of idols and his own mistakes due to mindset of blaming the idols
when the idols thing has no influence what so ever
i was just trying to bring out a point that it might be his mindset that all,
then you cry foul when the world keep on judging nigerians
anyway all the countries you mentioned, police or authorities dont just take the licence at face value, they check your details against a data base from licence issuing department
then
its obvious the licence would be fake
and
1 you would be charged with fraud of fake licence
2 plus whatever reason the police would have stopped you for
PSTEMMA1960: A Dying Soul Needs Ur Urgent Advice B4 It's 2 Late.
Good evening my good people of nairaland..hope everyone is doing fine?
don't know the right section to post this but I think i'll get mature response here...
Note: the post is going to be very long, but pls read to the end, I just want to pour out my heart to get an answer to some issues about my life.
My Name is Emmanuel born December 25-1991 from isiala mbano local government area of Imo state. My grandparents gave birth to 11 children, as I type now all 11 of them are dead, none of them married b4 death, my dad was the only one that married.....
My dad died December 25 1997 and my mum died in the year 2000... it hasn't been easy since then.....my mum's people rejected us saying that my dad did not legally married my mum...
my 2 sister are in Lagos now (married with children) I came to Abj in the year 2006 with a woman that owns a restaurant at area3 (my aim then was to save some money and go back to the village and start doing okada)
after working there for 2 years I was able to raise some money (my salary then was 3k) when I told the woman that I wanted to go, she asked me not to do so, that she really wants to help me...(I was happy) she asked me to go and learn how to drive with a promise of buying a car for me on higher purchase.
after the driving school no car, she sacked their driver and I became their driver (1k was then added to my salary) I didn't complain I waited till December again, I told her that I want to go, she now explain that I must drive her for like 4 good years b4 she can buy the car, i lost interest immediately. .
then to give my my 3 years salary became a problem (I was telling her to save it for me because i was naive then)
the woman did plus and minus money for driving school, shortage of beer and other stuffs....i was left with only 1500 after 3 years of my hard labour.....I had no option but to carry my Ghana must go bag and start sleeping with Hausa guys outside. ..
that wasn't still enough the woman arrested me that her life was in danger because she has sacked me.....police asked my to sign an undertaken that if anything should happen to her I'm responsible which I did.....after 3 days I was released. .
I was still sleeping outside..... so many other experiences...but the last one was in Asokoro hospital canteen.....my salary then was 15k I was able to save 270k there was an Alhaji that was always coming there to eat almost everyday then "mr Haruna" there was a sallah period that he even dasshed me 20k.
so one evening I met the man he was telling me that he doesn't like the nature of my job, that I should give him my C.V for a better Job...when I told him my qualifications he was not impressed ..
then on my own i went to him after one week that since he is already willing to help me that he should assist me in getting a car. ..he said it was a minor thing, that his brother a custom officer at zone3 was in charge of auctioning......I told him how much I had, he said he was going to add it up to make it 500k I went to Oceanic back then and withdrew the 270k gave to him. ....till today I didn't set my eyes on the man ..
it was not 2 long our madam employed a new staff, David from Cross river state......in less than one week the guy ran away with the money that our madam kept with me (she has been keeping money with me close to 2 years) to buy drinks and chicken the following day....87k. I had to work and pay her back...... after that I decided not to work again .....
in 2011 December 31st I gave my life to Christ and started going to church.....
because of my zeal and commitment I was ordained a minister in 2012, the following year as a pastor.... in 2015 I was sent to a state to open a branch which I went.... in less than 6 months I was having close to 74 members....
but the offering was not much, I pleaded with the head qtrs to give me time let the place grow numerically first. but they refused and closed down the branch.....(I was sad, so I left the church in 2016)
I tried driving work I always have issues, if I get a car today the same night I'll hear audible voice telling me that I won't succeed unless I come back and serve them in the village...(my grand mum was an idol worshiper she was always going to the native doctors meetings with me when I was 4-7 years)
Right now things have gone worse for me, no food no clothes no house no job....... stange dreams I am even tired of praying......
I am loosing my mind and sleep as if I am running mad, I always ask am I going to die like my uncles without any achievement...... I haven't seen my only brother since 7 years.....i'll always think that this year things would be better but it will turn out worst.....
even a small car that I managed to buy last year broke down I had to sell it anyhow when my younger brother told me that our old house had collapsed in the village.......
I don't know if I can cross this stage of my life .....has anyone been in my situation b4? is there hope for me? pls someone should talk to me, i am frustrated.............pls no 2 much insults....thanks and God bless...
mod abeg front page....
based on your story i see no connection with idol worshipping, you have been making poor decisions, trusting people too much and also being taken advantage off
your family tragic hold you back, you blame your misfortunes on it, dont let it pull down
Gabriel99: Your conviction is the ultimate. Ephesians 6:1 "Children obey your parents in the Lord" don't confuse obedient for honour, there are two separate things. From what you've written its clear that your father doesn't want you married yet; I make bold to say that his reasons are against Godly standards, even asking you to impregnate her. Sir if you choose to go ahead, you have the full backing of God. You can only obey your parents when their in the LORD, when there compromise disobedience is not punishable from God. E.g, if ones father asks him to be a native doctor and he declines, is that disobedience? My answer is NO? It is saving your future and securing your destiny. Go ahead and marry the lady if you are sure, she's the one, because assumptions will only lead to regret. Wisdom to end well comes on you IJN. God bless you!
i think you are missing key things he said that makes it that the boy is driven by desire to marry due the fact that also for 7 years he hasnt slept with her
he "says mom passed away early this year right?"
then he informs family that he once to marry
the key word is mom passes away early this year roughly between jan-feb this is towards end of april meaning we got only march between early this year (jan-feb)
his father said wait for a year, if his father was giving him excuses after a year passed then we would say the father is wrong
we havent even reached half way march of the year and he thinks his father is being stubborn i dont think so
may be that how you do it nigeria am a non nigeria
tosyne2much: When reading one-sided story it's imperative to use logic when basing your judgment
What I see here is that, although I'm not disputing the fact that his dad might be a sadist, killjoy or control freak but the summary of the whole story is that the OP is in a hurry to get married but his dad seems to be a blockage
i get you
look at it this way
the boy is in his late 20s , the father has been mostly married to his mum for 20 years
20 year he lived with his wife and all he asking from the son is to wait for a year only,
depending on how the mum passed away he should have asked his mum or what to do with his plans and mum would have said its ok to wed after a short period of her passing
if it was his dad marrying after 3 months of his mom passing away was he going to be ok with it
tosyne2much: He said his mom died early this year and he's always planning his wedding barely four months after her demise which is one of the reasons why he's having issues with his dad
so i understood it correctly
so this is were he needs to tell us what his tradition or religion says in such situation
in my cutlure no major celebration such as weddings from direct children should be done in less than a year of a parent passing
megareal: If your Pastor has real spiritual authority, see him and plead with him to stand in for you as your father. He will also need to pray ahead and curtail every curse or spiritual manipulations that may be targeted at you after the act.
In addition, check out your father's spiritual stance, he may not be who he says he is. No man that will not be pleased that his son wants to bring him honor by marrying properly. He may want to frustrate the girl out of your life, they may have been a spiritual covenant that he doesn't want you to break viz a viz, marrying properly before sex and babies.
I also hope you know your girl's stance, spiritually and morally to avoid future regrets.
Finally, pray, pray and pray. You will get victory through prayers. Don't forget to involve your Pastor every step of the way.
may be we understood it differently
his mum passed away early this year and the son wants to marry this year too
i know culture are different, where i came from there should be a year of family morning,
then memorial service is done a year on whether church service or a traditional ceremony
in my culture thats when the hubby is set free to date/remarry to some
so this boy cant morn is mother by allowing the one year the father request ?
I am a popular jingo nairalander but got to hide under this moniker...
I have been dating my fiancee for the past 7 years, she had met my parents and I have met her's many times . We planned to get married earlier year. But it was the year my mother left this planet, I informed my family I wanted to get married but they declined, saying, it must be over years of mumsy's demise before I can marry.
We've fixed introduction days 3ice and it got cancelled by my father, what's his reason?
1. NYSC: I was posted to serve in the Northern part of the country 3 years ago, I went to camp, but I couldn't cope with the weather and couldn't leave my business as NYSC won't guarantee me job and I don't have other option. I absconded from the service and faced my business which I saved profits in 7 digits in same year, God made me comfortable.
2: He said I should rather impregnate the girl (backdoor talk)
I am close to my late 20s, he already banned all family members as many depend on him from attending my introduction.
He cancelled my introduction without fixing a new date.
My in-law trust me and ready to release the lady to me as I haven't had sex with her since 2012 that we've been dating...
And Also, God had supplied all I needed for my wedding from A-Z.
Do you think this is a cogent reason?. I want to ahead with my wedding plans...
Kindly advise....Thanks
did i get you clearly ? you mother passes away this year and your father said you should wait for a year
so the year hasnt passed and you think your father is not being fair ?
Family › Re: I Sat On My Father's Laps, My Mum Walked In And Warned Me by ZIMDRILL(m): 9:30pm On Jul 15, 2019*. Modified: 9:11pm On Jul 16, 2019
I want opinion from gurus in car tech if there is any way it can be done without any major negative effect on the car. Let's all learn.
