₦airaland Forum

Just cause you are getting married doesnt mean you have to break the bank.

If you wanna get married now and cnt afford it, then get married on a smaller scale and when u together for like 3 or 5 years then you go all out.

The main thing is that u are with the one you truly love.

As per tha fact of marrying someone with a salary of 41000 naira, why not if its enough to sustain urself and the family - and i suspect you will be contributing towards the upkeep of the home.

You can get love anywhere - so keep ur eye peeled.

edygirl:
Instead of you guys fighting over nonesense or pointing fingers at one tribe, it's better for you to figure out how to stop this mess.  Here in America nobody cares if it is Igbo or not, all they know, is that it is Nigerians.

Here is another Igbo man arrested in Chicago on tuesday the 10th for having 13,725 pairs of Nike shoes he was selling to people. His name is Chukwuemeka Ebelechukwu

True talk.

We are all guilty by birth, inheritance or association cause we are Nijas.
People dont care where u from in nija all they care about is that we are nijas.

But this internet fraud baffles me, i say the people that get defrauded deserve it cause they are greedy - how can you be the benefactor of so much money that you didnt even work for.

Na wa for you o.

So this oneis an issue now - that you like a girl that weighs more than 80kg.
Its totally on you as they say 'different strokes for different folks'.

Its only an issue cause you are making it one.

Girl definately, i cannot advice you on this cause its real life and it involves your child but like i said, you deserve to be loved and to be happy.

All the talk of the parents, that was then and he can never liken his situation to theirs.
He is using that tactic cause he is brainwashing you and he knows you would wanna leave him so he is playing his cards rite.

The reason i talk lkie this is cause am a Nigerian and i know how our men think.
Like i said earlier, you really need to think of yourself and your child cause trust me she sees all and knows all.

walelead:
@sin,

now youre talking,

But what has he said now walelead?

I dont think its about bashing anybody.

The truth of the matter is that - its nothing new.

All am gonna say is we as individuals should keep the nija banner flying and do the best we can to do rite. There are still some good Nijas out there and unfortunately the press only seem to concentrate on the worst.

This is a quite complex one.

You have done rite by considering your child. But thats the first am hearing about a family disowning a child cause the parents have split.

You really need to consider certain things;

- you deserve some happiness (everybody does)
- how do you know that staying with the guy isnt damaging your child emotionally cause children see it all and they dont forget
- if he isnt working how are you being suported?

I understand what you are saying but girl - i hate being slefish but you matter in this whole saga, you need loving and attention cause from what i gathered you are still quite young.

Consider all these cause the 'love' you have for this man cuold turn to hatred if you remain in this relationship.

Consider this caus you and only you can decide what you wanna do.

sin:
thansk adeboo. will do me best and hopefully, i will smile soon
so how u dey today?

Am doing great today sweetie - no long thing

It sounds like the girl is influenced by her friend's opinion and her friend may have said that you werent that nice looking or maybe you are not be good enough for the girl.

Omo she is using the classic - 'use the nearest guy available' trick.
I have used it once upon my young life.

She isnt really interested cause if she was, she would at least sound happy to hear from ya.
I bet the next all she will make now is for charge card for her vmobile.

My man, let her show you some interest before you try and invest so much into her.

You know the girl is gonna marry the UK guy cause he has the upper hand in everything.
He would be more loaded and the fact that her parents are saying no - then its a no.

The lady should have cleared that area before inviting your friend into her heart so tell ur friend to save himself the hassle and let it go.

at poster, i woulda said something but you told me to stay out and not contribute no more.

If i were you, oh sorry i have been bared, see ya

At least you have acknowledged the problem.

What you need to do is know when that tempatation comes over you to make that move, then you either avoid it by walking out or just counting to five.

Have a plan that works for you, pray and seek professional advice if available.

nezerst:
Your story is awesome! Cant wait to have my baby.
Curious about one thing though, is childbirth as painful as people paint it to be?
If its that painful how come my mama had to go through that painful experience TEN times?

lol. Oh ma goodness TEN! your mum must love babies.

But different women and different pregnancies, they say no pregnancy is the same.

I have a friend that looses weight as soon as she gets pregnant, she gets slim and stays in the hospital for the whole nine months.
Then i have another woman that has a baby every year, she doesnt get bothered by her pregnancy.

So they are all different.

You should be ashamed of yourself and if possible should be locked up.
You are very selfish and have let that girl down by your actions - you should have known better cause she is the younger and the innocent party in this.

What you should do now is accept responsibility for ALL your actions - take over ALL the girl's upkeeping (food, school fees ) and cater for the baby as well.

And stay the heck away from her.

Well ma guy, the thing is you just have to let her go cause she is someone else's wifey now.

If you cant help seeing her and you know once you do you get all mushy for her, then you need to leave that environment.
The thing is you cant get together anyways, so why torture yourself. She has 'moved' on and so should you.

There are loads of girls out there that can capture your heart as she once did.

Leave her alone cause one nite of lust could lead to the bedroom and she could get preggers which will lead to shame for her and i know thats not what you want for her.

O ga o this one is hard sha.

Its all good cause when you accepted all his generous gifts, you kinda gave him the go ahead.
The thing is if you do get with him he will get pressured by his folks to marry another girl and u will be a second wife.

I would suggest you say to him, to take things a bit slow, he needs to leave the marriage thing and any talks of baby outside the door cause u just arent interested yet.

Use some delay tactics and hopefully he will get tired of it and leave you alone. (not in a bad way but in a good way).

I would do that if i was in ur shoes.

yes as long as you are fifteen and fourteen year old

No wonder you are jumping to that conclusion.
Since all your time is spent is outside London.

You need to go out and mingle at Nija hotspots and find them there.

The quickest way to get my food shopping done.

My name is ABEBUKOLA (Bukky) i attended Radiance Nursery and Primary School in First Avenue, Festac Town.

I started the school i thik in 1989/90 and when i started the school had just been built and there were only 7 people in my class and our teacher was Uncle Joe (he was a ghanian).

In my class were - Olubunmi Otitiju
Monica (she was one of the teacher's daughter)
and i had a best friend called IJ (Ijeoma) she was very light and lived near the school.

Please do contact me at adeboo2@yahoo.co.uk - if you know these people or went to that school between 1989-1991

Na wa o this is the first am hearing of Will Smith and Jada - no wander they are still together when others have split.

But in all fairness- the whole thing just depicts the whole meaning of marriage. Where there are two people (male and female) and they vow to stay together for life.

I see all these gimmicks as an easy way out of not fully commiting and not working towards their marital vows.

I think its unheard of and God help me its notwhat i wanna even consider.

I must surely would.

If i liked him enough to date him and for him to become my fiance then its all systems go.

I actually prefer older men cause they can handle me better.

Oh ma goodness girl, congratulations - oh how you have woken me back to my senses cause i had been feeling very broody.

But children are a joy, its amazing the way they grow up and start looking kike their parents - its just amazing.

And another wonder is that once you push and the head is out, every single pain you had been feeling stops like magic.

Wow that was a nice read- i felt like i was there with you on that day.

Congratulations again and we eagerly await the birth of baby number two

It totally depends on the husband.

There are different reasons most women dont change their names.
e.g living in a country where there are laws, in order to change your name you have to fill in loads of forms, write letters to different companies etc and that takes too much hassle - thats why most women just cant be bothered.

Yes it is as well as any kinda love we have for anything.

Take my car, when it was just bought, i loved it, dreamt about it, treated it like my princess and loved it but now, the love has faded and its just something i use to get around.

Its only natural to loose interest in something especially marriage.
However i think the word marriage means making the whole relationship work, staying together against all odds and working things out. Like someone mentioned earlier in another topic - you just have to eat, pray,talk and sleep together.

I respect and take my hat off to whoever has been married for more than five years - they deserve my applause cause its just not an easy venture but i know that through God- it shall be possible.

If you are a Nigerian it will definately be a no no.

In Nija we have too many traditions and customs and any man that does that, brings shame on his family - his father may even disown him.

Definately call it off cause he is walking down the aisle with me under false pretence and thats just not rite.

I dont care how much people i had invited, i would rather save maself the years and years of suffering and pain.

We may later wanna get back together but at that moment, the wedding is off.

Oga o this one is harder than the eye of a fish o.

The bottom line is that guy can never trust that girl again and that lack of trust will lead to hatred.
But just cause she is SS dont mean her kids will be full SS, thats unless he is an AS.

But he should just do what he feels is best for the kids cause there are kids involved.
I feel personally that that marriage will be a living hell for the wife cause he will never trust her again.

Wow there are so many beautiful names online.

I have taken down a few as well.

I have a daughter called Jazmyne (its a flower/ spice/ a sweet smelling fragrance) and the muslim call theirs Yasmine or Yasmina and her second name is Olivia. Her nija names are Olamide and Abidemi but we call her Jasmine.

Pharell is a nice boys name but i will keep ma baby boy's names to maself - for when he is eventually born.