₦airaland Forum

Why did it take a few months for the mother to intervene?

Definately, she wants to have her cake and eat it as well

Its very painful cause you will alwyas think what would have happened if it was done different.

Sweetie take heart, she is gone and you need to stay away. Cut all ties with her cause that could lead to having all your feelings messed up and that usually leads to you doing something you may regret.

It totally depends on the secret.

I believe in leaving the past in the past except its something that is so dire that could ruin the relationship.
Obviously, having a child and keeping that secret is just outta order shouldnt be done.

But there are things such as how many sexual partners you have had, etc - its better you leave stuff like that unsaid.

Na wa o - we will soon start buying people in a jar.

I dont think such agencies exist in Nija.
He probably asked a family memeber to watch you like a hawk.

Its not rite but he must have had reasons.

But i suggest you tell him you are getting someone to watch him too and put the shoe on the other foot.

Lack of trust in a relationship really doesnt work.

She shouldnt have to go back to the 'short' guy cause she doesnt really like him.

Cause she shouldnt fool herslf, she would do the same thing to the guy if he takes her back and she meets another 'tall' guy.
Let her just leave the 'short' guy alone so that he can heal and move on with his life and find someone that truly likes her.

Your friend schouldnt really be thinking about marriage cause she just drops guys for the slightest reasons - too short and cant find a job yet.

You better desperately stay outta it cause in the process of being a good guy, you will loose your friend. (been there before i know what am talking about)

And besides, whats to say the vivt to the guest house wasnt legit anyways.

What would i do?

i would get on with life as you should.

Keep all the presents, tell the guests they may as well eat the food cause it would waste.
Go on the honeymoon alone if i cant get ma money back - maybe go with a friend.

Then put maself back on the 'single and available' list for sure

It just depends on how well you connect during the date.
If its what the girl wants to do.

It also depends on the type of kiss u talking about.

Any wise woman shouldnt contact her ex while she is married if she wants her home to be in tact.

Her husband shouldnt have to stop the contact, she should do it herself.

But the thing is she was caught in adultery, she really didnt confess, she was caught.
Thats another issue - if she is truly sorry then there should be no problem.

Infedelity causes a lot of rifts in a marriage. The feeling of betrayal is very difficult to get over.
If you can forgive your spouse for the wrong theyhave done and try to work at trusing them again, then there isno problem.

However, if you find yourself always thinking the worst and not able to let go then its just not worth staying together. But i feel the couple should try and work it out if they can.

Maybe cater for more needs such as nail extentions, eye lash extentions, manicure, pedicure and different other things.

But na wa o.

She definately married him under false pretence and he needs to definately pray hard o - cause this one pass me.

I never see o.
Looking for a womb donor khe?
But on a good day if they both co-operate, they could get through this sha.

@osegwu - congrats ma man wishing u a happy married life.
Treat that woman write o - whenever she annoys you, just make sure you rememebr how much you spent on the wedding

@poster - definately cut your coat no be by force you must invite the whole world for your wedding.

Why cant you visit Nija often or is that isnt a possibility.

The decision is obviously yours. Why go into something with your new 'friends' that you know isnt going anywhere.
Be very careful cause if you say you wanna 'chop clean mouth' there may be dire consequences that will follow.

I understand the pressure you are in cause you wanna fit in but think very hard before you step into their world - obviously if you are thinking this way that means you have a good heart and a good conscience.

Omo, there are many that have taken the steps you are thinking of taking and have ended up in big time regrets. Its hard but omo you just have to ask God to strengthen you.

Ask yourself this question, How would you feel if your girl is doing the same thing?

Seun:
Your loving him is not the issue here. Even Hitler was "loved" by someone. Going to jail is the issue here.

Haba Seun, na wa o.
Free this guy now, we dont know if he is into anything illegal there are some hard working Nijas out there that make good money now.

Abeg free am o

tanasha:
Thanks you guys i guess time will tell.I love him and if he happens to be i`ll try to help him to stop but if he`s not well we`ll let the good times roll.Pray for me!

Help him stop khe?
Girl you cant help him stop nada.

Sometimes we dont need prayers just for us to open our eyes and smell the coffee

Nope.

The only person i can die for is my lil girl and thats it.
I only have one life and i cant afford to waste it.

Like i said earlier, the people that told ya dont approve of your relationship.

I dont think he is a drug baron - he could honestly be into a busness.

Just try and talk to people who have known him for a while - not really his close friends but people who know him.
Dont ask them outrightly but do it discreet.

walelead:
@tanasha,
Why worry yourself so much when u can easily wake him up in the middle of the night to ask him. At that time of the day, he wont be able to quickly make up lies.

Plan B.

If u are scared to face him alone, get a trusted friend to be there and honestly ask him

Assure him that You are not out to expose him but You sincerely cannot be with him if he's into that business

You have nothing to be scared about, be bold and take your life into your hands

i have reasons to believe that they are lying to you anyway

You could also try this too as well but make sure the friend you really trust try hard to keep out any third parties.

It would be necessary to know the person you wanna spend the rest of your life with.

So yes its not only important, its a MUST.

Any wise woman that wants to keep her home would NEVER keep in touch with an ex cause hummmmmm - lkie i say it before you know it, your clothes are on the floor and u are doing the deed.

Especially if its a guy that treated you like gold.

I dont think the husband needs to put an end to the relationship or contact, the lady that wants her home to be in order would do that herself.

Personally i feel you are a Ghanian cause thats your father's land and like its been said . The good thing is that you can have a dual nationality (two passports).

omogenaija:
what do u mean by outcast ?

An outcast is someone that maybe due to a crime he/ she commited was removed or chased out of that community/village.
Then they are called outcasts - all that is theirs, their children to the whatever generation are reffered to as outcasts and they are restricted from participating in any village affair.

Its a very lonely life and its also an abomination to marry an 'outcast'.

Your friend has let go of a very good wifey like girl because of his foolishness.
Whats the essence of testing someone that has been faithful to you all the while you dated.

You better tell him to go for deliverance cause he has let a good one go.

I dont think i wanna test ma fiancee cause i just cannot be bothered. I feel its childish to test ma fiancee, its not gonna achieve anything except some heartache (if he fails ).

kellofish:
i think it's called osu, not too sure either

we do need deliverance

at the end of the day, when they do listen to their parents and marry someone else who isn't an outcast, they're not happily married. i don't see why parents would rather see their children unhappy than 'spoil their names'.

I know, damned if we do and damned if we dont. There is just no pleasing our parents.
Its just up to you to do your thing - I say pray about the whole thing and do whatever brings you peace.

In this kinda situation, you both need to be very focused and be willing to make this work.

kellofish:
why should he suffer for his fore fathers' 'sins'?
if u love him, go for it

I know what you mean but i have seen the film 'Outcast' i think its called 'ozu' in ibo (please fogive ma spelling) but the girl was an outcast and the guy married her, he was disowned by his parents, they had to move and it affecetd their unborn children.

Its a bad thing that is unbelievable to me. God really needs to deliver Nigeria from all these customs, its just destroying lives.

I know its all above loving the peson you wanna be with and marry but sometimes, love is blind - sometimes we need to wear glasses so we can see where we going.

If you truly love this guy, you both have to be totally commited to make this work.

Cause you are gonna come up against mountains of oppositions and maybe your parents even disowning yous.

As i have said earlier, both of you have to be 100% in cause u know how this will affect you, your individual families and ur unborn children.

So both of you need to think about it and make the necessary decisions.

I sincerely think you need to take a step back and be by yourself for a while.

I was like that couldnt date beyond the three month barrier, but then i found someone that really took my fancy, he wasnt the most handsome but he seemed like someone that we could spend our lives together, could be responsible and hold his home.

We actually dated for like 2years, thats my longest till date.

Sometimes its not about love per say, sometimes we just blend and we like each other enough and we see each other being together for a long while.
So maybe you are looking for the fireworks but maybe its just about being compatible.