₦airaland Forum

I noticed there is always fuel scarcity in Nigeria each year. I also understand from friends who owns fuel stations that scarcity period is the happiest in the business.

Seems you don't have a job. She visits you at home due work hours. Get a job young man

badmusatari:
Thank you sir. She's no longer with such mentally. For more than two years now till now she don't even want to hear anything from them and whenever she want to talk to her dad she finds a way of doing that without then know but they always get mad because they always miss the opoory to influence their dad by way to telling him what to demand. So she's woke up.

Your communication skills is really horrible and it makes your post a difficult read.

Sad times for Imo state. This is misplaced priorities. Hope Uzodinma should remember how he got into power. He was not the majority winner.

Lucasmuyiwa:
My mom died in 2013 and I never even smelt her presence when I'm alone and I never had a dream of her... Despite being alone all the moments of my life. Sometimes I imagine and talk out loud when I'm alone in my room maybe she could hear e and givee a sign but it has never happened. I stopped believing in all these black people mentality.. If I would know how it feels it would be when I'm dead and which I believe that I can't feel anything
Thank you

She heard you. She spoke but you didn't hear.

Interesting stories. However, we must come to realise that we are spirits in human body.

Yankee101:
This is petty

Take him to court, if you win convert the assets to Imo state's

Uzodinma will suffer. You can't maltreat people and the environment like this and not pay

He has misplaced priorities. He should because he knows how he got into power. It was not the people's will.

EmekaA125:
Hope Uzodinma is a mad idiot digging his own grave. He won't win this fight. Ka ana ejegodu

Very possible. I also think he is politically naive and eratic. The individual questioning Rochas was speaking emotionally and it seemed personal. This stunt was poorly coordinated, not properly thought out and may have future repercussions.

Rochas still has political influence in Imo state. The reason his son inlaw didn't win was because Abuja was against the power transition and not because Hope Uzodinma is popular.

olarent:
I wash the video on channel news this evening,it was show of shame for okorocha and govt in charge okorocha asking governor aid who are you the aid responded by asking okorocha too who are you.can Nigeria be great with this stealing going on?

Okorocha is right to ask the question. He was a 2-time governor of Imo state and a current serving senator. Regardless of how you feel about Rochas, he is one of Nigeria political elite.

In my opinion, this is nothing but power play over the political soul of Imo state.

It appears Hope Uzodinma is not fully in control of Imo politics and is scared of Rochas influence.

malcom1X:
The man has moved on and decided to marry the same woman that Tonto has been accusing him of cheating.... You sef think am.. you are wiser than this?

Like I said the alleged affair was not the reason for the divorce. The man owes nobody including his ex-wife any explanation and I think you all have been completely unfair to him.

The alleged mistress now turned wife did not break Tonto's home. Please revert back to her first interview and subsequent interviews. Also, review Churchill's interviews as well as interviews and social media posts from Churchill family members.

Can we move on with our lives. A woman who wants to be married and stay married should know how to keep her home. Same applicable to a man.

AFvckingAlpha:
The fvck

Niggarr!!

One of the realest niggarr, Invictus my niggarr!!


You did what you thought was right, I ain't go judge you, you just tryna survive.

I see all this pussy niggarrs talking crap.

Let who has no stains cast stones.

There are thousands of Invictus springing up.

Boys still dey move millions as I dey type.

Meanwhile I keep bombing, keeping up with updates cos thats only how we gon get rich.

And if I get to do time, I do it. That's life.

Cos I know I'm greedy, I want make FBI dey track me gan.

I said what I said.

I hope you are caught and end up in prison

espn:
Tonto may be a toxic person but she was right. He used an hashtag saying #twoyearsandstronger. Fear men...fear women.

What was she right about? She said she didn't want him. Abused him and called him a one second man. His alleged affair was not the reason for the divorce.

Like you said Tonto is toxic. I wonder why so much vitriol was thrown at the woman. The man has moved on and decided to marry. If Tonto was interested in her marriage, she would have acted more of a wife.

So Kevin Samuels news is on nairaland. That guy is going places

OvaSabi1:
I noticed that as men get older, their specs change and that the true spec of a man is apparent only when he has made money. For most of you who are in polygamous homes, you will notice that the last wife is usually the finest and the least hardworking. Meanwhile, the first wife (she may be fine too but just simple looking) is enterprising and calm. Usually, old man married her when he was not yet well off and as at then, she prided herself on being the hardworking wife material he was looking for and made her believe she is.

Many young men these days usually claim that they are attracted to intelligent, ambitious and hardworking ladies. Infact they have launched campaigns against so called slay queens. Also, many are not very comfortable admitting to their partners what physical attributes they like in women. They claim they are only attracted to what is inside which I think is not true.

I think that when a man starts making money, all these talk about being sapiosexual will disappear. Every man wants a dumb woman who is fine as hell. If this is the case, then I think that many women are being deceived into marriages. Women are just married because they're convenient and available and not because you are the man's spec. Then much later, he meets his spec and makes her the 2nd wife or side chick who he starts spending money on, because of course she is not trying to proof to you that she is an ambitious work mule. This is not fair.

My advice to men is to prayerfully work hard so that they can settle down with the women who they truly desire when they want and without any pressure. There are many men who married women who are not their spec and they're regretting now. Some will even complain bitterly that the current wife (who was an ambitious non slay queen) is controlling and proud. Marrying your spec when you have money will save a lot of men and women agony.

Please I am looking forward to seeing intelligent and profound analysis from mature and preferably middle aged men here.

You're right. Men are attracted to beauty. As his earning capacity increases, he seeks the most beautiful woman he can afford. A woman being dumb is not true. Probably she is resting on her feminine power. No man wants a woman who is argumentative. A submissive woman is best. A woman who strokes the ego of her man, conquers all.

sirjamesjnr:
Every day we video chat both in the morning before I step out for work and in the evening. During the lockdown, we spend almost 8 hours of video calls every day. We order things online for each other. We are trying our best. A lot of sacrifice and compromise from me and her. We are evolving and still growing. I was only pointing out what we put in to make the relationship work.

Chief. I decided to weigh in here after reading your post and the comments from others.

First, I'm married and have been for a long time so in this regards, I'm very experienced than you. I was also in a long distance relationship with my wife, then my girlfriend. Honestly, she worked for the relationship because I had many ladies on rotation. She worked extremely hard. I read where you said you loved being the boss in your relationship.

First, you cannot be the boss. You are only the man and should dictate how the relationship goes. I also read you make 4x your lady friend. That's good. Now, being the man, you have to make her relocate to where you are. As a doctor, she can get a job in your location and since you earn good, money shouldn't be the problem. If your lady friend says no - then you have a problem on your hands.

Trust me on this, family is everything regardless of your job, career or the money you make. You don't want a woman who doesn't have time for you or the kids. That won't go well and it will result to resentment in the future. If you think your relationship is hard, wait till you get married without fixing these issues. Women love what gives them meaning and it seems your ladyfriend is in love with her job/career and that's not good for a marriage.

Control your relationship now before you create a lifetime of pains in your marriage. Forget the 8 hours of video calls - long distance relationships are not true relationships. I know this from experience. Be the man in your relationship and lead it in the direction you want. Your lady friend should be compromising to you and not the other way around. She should be doing the visiting and not you. You can foot the flight tickets but the commuting should be on her and you have to give her a deadline when she has to relocate to be with you.

I speak from extensive experience. You may choose to ignore or implement it. However, if you do nothing and end up marrying her, you won't be satisfied in your marriage. Trust me on this - marriage is very hard, very very hard.

Finally - there is nothing as a high value woman. High earning, yes. But high value woman - no. All the best.

Davash222:
As a man, getting married, especially to a Nigerian girl, is one of your greatest mistake you’ll find difficult to accept. This marriage of a thing is just a game orchestrated by women to trap men down. Adam and God was paddy until Eve came.


Stay away from Nigerian girls.

If you're toxic, you will attract toxic people. If you're good, you will attract good people. Race, geographic location or culture has nothing to do with it.

MT:
I woke up in Nigeria to watch this debate. Trump just lost the sub-urban women and the seniors in the US. Apart from Trump firing up his base, he won over no new voters. Trump will lose convincingly.

True. I'm a Trump supporter but I think he has lost the election. Trump lost the objective of the debate - to win over independents and democrats who may not like Biden. His composure, demeanor and behavior did not do any of this.

JoshOxborn:
There are threads for seeking Travel information and knowledge for different types of country including Canada. This is for immigrants to write Journals about their stay in Canada and some insight information about Canada, The fundamental objective, ideal and purpose of this thread has been curbed, thwarted and deterred. I can't recall and think to back to the last time pictures and adventures was shared on this thread. I'm not a hater or someone that loathes or despises the improvement of this thread but y'all should not make this place a section of Q&A only. if we don't have money to travel now, we should at least see life in Canada through you people's eyes.

I agree with you. However, you should know people are busy trying to settle down. A better approach would be asking specific questions of interest. I believe the members here would gladly respond and it also assist to narrow down to specific interests.

So Nigeria will be annexed to China.

Opemi93:
I am not in support of what the lady did but in situations like this its better to just walk away, keeping quiet or walking away doesn't make you a coward, so many people are walking but inside they are dead, what if the lady died in the process, the wedding would have bin a disaster and he would have bin living the rest of his life in prison...

Then she died fighting. Maybe in the next life she would set her priorities straight.

Liposure:
To be fair here, the ladies were clearly at fault on all counts cos they started it. Even though another guy would have chosen to walk away. However all men are not the same. Women cant be playing the weaker sex card all the time. Agreed violence against women is shameful. But that does not give them the right to provoke a man as they please

This is not violence against women. Stop being stupid. This is a man defending himself. How do you walk away after being spilled with liquid content. What did the man do to deserved being assaulted. Defending yourself is not violence against women. If a woman is stupid enough to engage in a brawl with a man, so be it.

All men should defend themselves against nature, gender, and evil forces.

SPDAZZY:
Wow! Just Wow!!

Has anyone ever considered why one of the ladies returned with a changed attire? What if she was stained or something caused her to go home and change?

How would you feel if you return and someone has taken your seat in a place with few seats and lots of people were outside. Did it not occur to the guys that haven seen lots of people outside, that it wasn't a miracle to find empty chairs?

OP, you too didn't try. Why didn't you avert the plenty talk and subsequent fight by informing the guys that the ladies were there earlier? But you could intervene when the matter was already out of control.

That said, the ladies could have resolved it better and not fight despite their frustration. I believe that the guys would have given up the seats if they originally belonged to someone they know was stronger than them. They obviously felt the ladies were not strong enough to challenge them.

It was an empty seat. You cannot lay the blame on the men who saw empty seats and decided to occupy it. The ladies could have expressed their interest to the ushers and even at that the ushers still have the responsibility to either relocate the men or the women. It is not the right of the women to claim seats in an event where they are guests. Bush people should learn etiquette. If I was the host I will throw the ladies out too.

NockMedia:
I am not trying to justify what the lady did, but never raise your hand on a lady as a man. Don't.

I think this logic is ridiculous and its promotion should stop immediately. Once an individual, regardless of gender, puts their hands on another person, it is called assault and that person deserves to defend himself or herself.

Black women are very aggressive and tend to have more testosterone or depict more masculine nature than women from other races. As a man it would be stupid of me to get into a fight with Anthony Joshua or any man I consider strong enough to beat some senses into me. In this respect, it is stupid of women especially black women to engage in a brawl with a man - what do you intend to achieve from fighting a man?

There are numerous ways to resolve conflicts. A more simpler way is to walk away from the conflict. However, black women would never heed to such advice and want to stick it out. If you are courageous enough to fight a man as a woman than NEVER claim to be a victim. What I won't tolerate is men who instigate fights with women - that's a no-no, but if the woman is the instigator, I think the man deserves to defend himself.

Black women should start acting like proper women and lady like and not men in female bodies.

makydebbie:
Lol wtf is a bitter feminist? Is there a happy feminist? Am I supposed to be happy about a systematic oppression? I called you out for misleading the public.
Izu was not accused of rape. He was accused of non physical assault which he confirmed he did and apologized. Stop painting a false narrative on an innocent girl if you truly believe false accusation destroy lives.

What is non-physical.assault and how do you accuse someone of non-physical assault?

What happens when mad people express an opinion

Lions don't live in jungles

I think some of us here are sounding off as singles. If we are all married individuals then we are sounding off immature. All marriages experience challenges. The severity of these challenges differs. However, we sow an oath in the presence of God, family, Priest/Pastor/Imam and well wishers to keep our vows for better, for worse, in sickness and health, for poorer for richer, till death do us part.

We chose our partners. We accepted them into our lives. We agreed to start a family with our partners. We didn't arrive at that decision alone and I will assume we are responsible Nigerians. As responsible Nigerians, we got our families blessings to go start a family. During disputes we sort the wise advice of our family especially the elderly ones, who may chose to intervene if necessary. Prior to relocating, I believe we had methods of de-escalating our marital issues. If it has been successful, stick to it.

As one poster beautifully wrote - one of our reasons for relocating to Canada is to give our children a fighting chance and provide a better life for them. If this was a collective objective why engage in activities that will break the family structure and subject your children to a lifetime of struggles.

I also think the word abuse is very broad. If the concern in the marriage is domestic violence and your marriage is still important to you. Adhere to the suggestions I provided earlier. It works.

For those of us screaming - they both go their own ways. Separation and divorce cost money. It is not cheap. The system is designed to benefit greatly from couples who don't want to reconcile. To be honest, they don't want couples to reconcile. Divorce lawyers would like to eat and pay their bills. Others involved in the separation proceedings will like to keep their jobs. The money that's meant for the family is redistributed amongst these individuals.

Married men and women respect your vows, respect your marriage, respect yourself and respect the byproducts of your marriage which are the kids. Please for those of us that are still single, I plead with you to keep your opinion to yourself till you are married.

OP you are 36 now and still acting like a 17 years old teenage girl. You need to reexamine your priorities in life. Please note you are approaching 40.

MoneySmart:
Since registering on nairaland 5 years ago and reading posts on nairaland everyday, this will be my first post as I have been a silent reader.

The tone of this your post is better than most of the other ones that you have posted on this issue. However, bro, I need to be honest with you, you have to chill with the way you are making conclusions about people you do not know, have never met and will probably never meet.

The bolded areas in your writeup above are just uncalled for. Simply because an individual’s viewpoint is different from yours, you keep on stating that the individual’s talking point is ignorant, and that they are repeating it. What makes your viewpoint correct and theirs ignorant? Do you expect them to change their viewpoint simply because you think yours is right? Think about that for a second. Why can’t you make your point and let people either take it or leave it.

How do you know that the individual is saying what they are saying for likes? Reading all the postings of this person regarding this topic and other topics, it looks to me that this individual is very intelligent, and that he is not making his posts for likes.

As you will see, this person is not even bothered by any of your posts even though you keep referring to him derogatorily in your posts. So, please make your point and move on.

For me to make this first post after 5 years on nairaland, you must know that I am very bothered about your approach. I do hope you will know better than attacking me for this post.

Peace!

Hi MoneySmart,

Glad you took out time to express your opinion. As humans, we are social animals. We are influenced by the actions, ideas and experiences of others. If you understand how the Media and Hollywood works, you would also understand how views are framed. It is opined that experience is the best teacher. However, wise people learn from the experiences of others to avoid mistakes.

I passionately expressed myself because the comment was dangerous. I strongly insulted the individual because he is ignorant and decided to stand by his ignorance. While there is absolutely nothing wrong with being ignorant, it is stupid to stand by an ignorant viewpoint. There are certain situations or topics I am ignorant on or half knowledgeable. However, I do not express an opinion or stick by an ignorant opinion. The category of people I know that take such action are MAD MEN.

In life, it is so easy to give advice especially when you are remote from the situation, unaware of the full information, detached or have no interest in the individuals involved. For example, everybody is a great marriage counselor on other people's marriage other than theirs. It is also funny that people are quick to give advices themselves will NEVER implement. Some people have suggested that abuse victims do not need therapy. How would a victim heal? Often abuse victims tend to become the abusers later on in life. Another example are molested children who become pedophiles. Also, a chronic abuser might be unaware of why he/she is abusive or that they are abusive. Oh yes, you would be shocked.

In other not to beat around the bush or to seem repetitive, I have presented an alternative approach based on the lives of people who initially felt their actions were right, only to discover they made a mistake. Their discovery is as a result of their OWN experience and now they wish they had adopted a different approach. Fiction is different from reality. I can confirm to you that these individuals, the alleged victims who escalated as well as the alleged accused, are experiencing a difficult time.

To conclude, I wasn't interested in the response of the individual and still not interested. This is not a debate. My focus was to clarify how dangerous, ignorant and stupid his comments were and to provide alternative suggestions that works. For victims in abusive marriages - YES, you need therapy whether you want to continue in the marriage/relationship or not and if you think your marriage is important, both you and your partner need therapy and counseling. Also, remember, you chose your partner. Hence, leaving or staying in your relationship/marriage is also a CHOICE. Choices comes with circumstances, either good or bad. So the choice is yours to make and don't blame anyone, other than yourself, for the choices you make in life. This is my last take on this. I believe I have expressed myself enough.

19CannyMum:
Ermmmm... Pardon me but I'm not sure that's how it works. Because I know someone whose child called 911 on the dad. Before police arrived, papa beat the living daylights out of the boy so that he will know he beat the boy. Police came. Pikin told police to take him away he doesn't want to stay. Police still did not take him because they realised that there was no real abuse.

If the situation is genuinely not abusive you have nothing to be afraid of. I had a personal case worker for about a year and there's 'nothing they want to hear.' They're just doing their job. If your hands are clean, the system won't automatically turn against you.

However if you're beating children in a country that you voluntarily moved to when you were aware that such method of discipline is not allowed, you're on your own.

We also need to be aware that a child you're beating here even if they don't report, will be traumatised. Because that's how they are conditioned by the environment. It is just not normal here to be spanked talkless of beaten. They themselves will feel victimized and may never forgive you. They will probably need therapy as adults and they may hate you.

Parents, please read this thread just posted today on reddit. Children of nowadays are not us of those days so we need to evolve our parenting styles. Read and choose your methods of discipline carefully. https://www.reddit.com/r/Nigeria/comments/hs9rkb/african_parents_are_abusive/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

Thanks for your comment and for validating some of my points.

Paragraph 1 - You know the individual and I don't. However, the Police cannot take a child. It is not their job. The Police may choose to escalate the case to Child Services and this is often done when there are domestic issues. I don't know how long this is but the Police would have reported to Child Services to review the case.

Paragraph 2 - Well you maybe surprised to know that what you call discipline maybe considered abuse and what you call abuse may be considered discipline. When your case is under review, the assessment is dependent on the case worker. May I also ask why you have a case with child services? This is not good because it opens you up for bias assessment in the future if a similar circumstances occur.

You are very accurate with child services case workers doing their job. However, they are not doing their job for your own best interests rather from their own agenda. Just like we pursue our self interest at our workplace, the case worker pursue their own agenda too. Please, I will stress here - don't get it twisted.

Now let me tell you another story - this happened around June 2020 and I don't know if you are aware of this story. A Nigerian family lost their son and told paramedics that their son choked on his food. The food here I believe was meatballs and the parents said it was his favorite. I got to know about the story because a GoFundMe was created for funeral services. My opinion on this is that a child cannot choke on his favorite food especially if that's what he enjoys eating. There is the possibility of force feeding and that's abuse. I'm not saying it can't happen but the story doesn't add up. I have advised they get a criminal lawyer ready because the police will investigate the matter and where stories don't add up - Omo na criminal case.

Why am I highlighting this - for the righteous and popular talking points opinionated ignorant individuals quick to express ignorant dangerous opinions to know that they are not above mistakes. It is easy to speak about things you don't know, but stupid to stand on them especially when you have no understanding or knowledge.

I have read some comments indicating the justice system is designed to be fair - Yes. However, practically it isn't. Don't take my word for it. Visit the nearest regional court or have a good discussion with a criminal lawyer. Infact I encourage everyone here to do so.

I have a clear understanding of how "out of touch" social media or chat fora can impose on individuals. Nevertheless, it is your responsibility to understand how the justice system operates. I also understand how people enjoy popular talking points, and like I previously wrote I'm less concerned with that, rather advise you strongly against getting yourself into situations you probably do not fully understand.

Is the justice system bias in Canada - Yes. As a matter of fact, your postal code determines the severity of your penalty. Nobody will tell you this till you confront the Crown or a Peace Officer a.k.a the Police.

I will repeat again because the same individual is still repeating the same ignorant talking point. The Police Officer, Crown, Child Services and entire Justice System do not care about you. To them, you are a job and a statistics and they will pursue things from their own agenda - which is primarily to advance their career. I recently discussed with an individual whose wife spanked the son due to poor behavior. The boy went to school and as a kid was discussing with his friends and in few days Child Services called them seeking appointment to visit them. Child services visited separated both parents and children, took the children to a separate room. Luckily for these family, the children are in their early teens and they didnt disclose any information.

Now let me tell you what would have happened if the children had said something the child service worker (case worker) wanted to hear. Immediate separation of kids and relocation to foster homes. The family will have to prove why the kids should return back to them and it is at the discretion of the case worker to say the family is no longer a threat to their children and the environment is healthy for them to function. Also, the case worker, at her discretion, will escalate the case to the police. Please note I said at her discretion because when I say the system can be bias this is part of it. Then there is potential criminal charge against the parents based on the report of the case worker.

For those in abusive relationship and still feel their marriage or relationship is important - go for counseling and also seek clinical therapy. If you feel your marriage/relationship is not important, leave or initiate dissolution of marriage. The Police is not a peace negotiator. However, a marriage counselor can broker peace and a therapist can sort out behavioral issues. I am not saying this for LIKES or to be popular. I am saying this for those who are unaware and to debunk ignorant talking points. Also, if you are tired of your marriage and want instance separation from your partner, you can call the Police tonight. There must not even be an argument, just tell them you fear for your life and you want your partner gone. The Police will be happy to do the job. Don't take my word for it - just dial 9-1-1.

Finally, for those spewing popular talking points and/or opinions for likes, be careful. You have no clue.

Almost a year. Is the OP married now? If she isn't, I think she needs to watch Kevin Samuels on YouTube.