₦airaland Forum

Olivertwist1985:
My wife which we have been married for the past thirteen (13) years and have five(5) children, four boys and girl for me ,just left my house on Sunday to her parent house without informed me.

She left because we have little disagreement about monthly food allowance which I used to give her every month but I failed to give her this month when she requested for

She left with the girl which is six months old and a boy two years and left three boys for me.

Please I need your advice, should I go and beg her or I should forget about her and continue with my life. According to my family members, they said I should forget about her because of the manner she left.

Prior to this job loss, how was the relationship between the both of you?

If you have lost your job, why does she still expect you to foot the bills like you normally do?

Does she earn? If yes, does she contribute to the family pot?

What have you done to secure another source of income? You have five kids which is a lot in today's economy and everything is freaking expensive in the market right now.

What should you do?

Ignore your family and invite her back home to discuss the your issues.

I believe she told you she was going to her family house during the misunderstanding that's why you immediately knew where she went to with the kids.

I would have said you go to your in-laws house however, if they did not deem it fit to intervene/resolve the issue, then leave them out like your parents. Both in-laws seem to have given up on the marriage which goes back to my first question:

How was the marriage pre- job loss?

During your engagement, also assert that you would not tolerate her leaving home for issues anymore except they are life/death and she is willing to end the marriage.

With hardwork, you will break through.

Amen.

Nfchi73:
Is not the same Aisha that's critising the top government officials of sending their children school abroad? Now the son just graduated from a school in London.
Na wa ooo

If this is true, she is not a top government official so can't be said to be an hypocrite.

Congratulations to her.

P. S. Her son was in the abroad during the protest?

@anita98:

From your OP, you stated your husband is selfish and only thinks about you/your welfare when he wants to have sex with you.

That is what is making you resentful about the TV stuff.

I advise that whenever your husband does something you do not like, address it on the spot or earliest convenient time so they don't linger and begin to expand in your mind.

If you feel he is selfish, have a talk and outline the ways you feel he is selfish and take it up from there.

While engaging him, also understand the principle of fairness and common sense.

For instance, you work from home/close earlier hence you have access to the TV till he comes home. It is sensible he takes over the TV because you should have watched your fill.

Unfortunately, your program and his are same time. Engage him with those facts in mind towards resolution: subscribe for dual-view and buy a new TV; download DSTV app on your phone; record your programs & watch after he is done with the TV or the next day; subscribe to Netflix and watch the series there etc.

Goodluck.

owenseddies40:
My wife gave birth to 3boys and one girl for me,my last son scares me a lot because whenever I see him, it's like am before my father.they look alike,talk alike and behaviours too, it's really scarry

Babajide

Na ooooo!

3rd class madam don chop gbas gbos!

Anyways, it is inferiority complex that makes you constantly compare yourself to people whom you think are better than you.

Ishilove:
Tonto sure knows how to pick her men. This one na Churchill promax, version 666.

Walahi, she needs to wash her head in Osun river.

After the disaster with Churchill (let's assume he is a demon) wasn't she supposed to be able to pick better?

budaatum:
Your "J. K. Rawlings style", did you mean Jerry John Rawlings? If so, Nigeria w/should not put up with despotic extrajudicial killings! Buhari, 31 December 1983 – 27 August 1985 was our version of Ghana's Rawling with his 200 year jail terms. We hoped he'd have brought back something remotely like it but na democracy we de now.

People underate this NOI. Thing is, she has the knowledge, experience and international institutional support to transform Nigeria, and all she lacks is the support of Nigerians who can't think of a better person to rule Nigeria, mind. I see an Angela Merkel in her.

Nobody underrates NOI:

We are saying the system we want her to change needs a cleanup first.

This is not about the sex either; it is about her personality thus far.

I believe a repentant/changed Dizeani or Stella Oduah would do a better job than NOI to clean the system first (which would include a lot of killings or jail terms) then NOI can step in.

What you call despotic extrajudicial killings is what I call cleanups which is what we require a dark hero for.

I look at issues on ground and proffer solutions; I don't do theories someone dreamed up in their bedroom in Chicago.

Morningblues:
Christians alway cherry pick what to support and what not to support. The government should criminalize fornication, Adultery,lying and other Things their Bible condemn, They will start crying fire and brimstone. Because lgbt doesn’t concern most of them that why they re hateful

How did the moniker you quoted display hate?

Someone said 'something is wrong': does that translate to hate for the perpetrator?

She even added that God hates homosexuality and loves the homosexual; yet you mention hate.

Can I also accuse you of hating heterosexual people?

Thank goodness you are not a Christian.

The wonder is professing Christians who sees nothing wrong with homosexuality under the guise of feminism.

Morningblues:
Women aren’t here to please your childlike ego. People are allowed to love and marry who they want.
Be miserable elsewhere.

@bold:

Please lose the victimhood mentality.

It makes you see oppression in everything

mariahAngel:
They are both masculine lesbians.
Who be husband, who be wife?


Homosexuality is both naturally and spiritually wrong.

100%

Responding strictly to the topic: Eniola Salami aka KOB

I just saw a thread stating Ade Tiger is the kind of man women want.

Noshitboi:
God bless you and may He continue to bless the work of thy hands. You're truly a virtuous woman not the one I have in the house. I buy everything in the house even the chewing gum that she chews too

And she doesn't do anything or contribute anything to the success of your home?

Eviana:
Proverbs 22: 6 (KJV)
6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it

As a Christian, the greatest and most humbling honor is to raise up children fit for God's Kingdom.
A child on "fire" for the Lord who grows up to be an adult on "fire" for the Lord...complete with a "heart" knowledge instead of just a "head" knowledge...is the ultimate gift.
Anything other than that would be secondary.
No matter what career....
No parent who truly believes in the Lord God, His Word, and what He did on the Cross, would desire for his/her child to deny His existence.

I would honestly feel like an utterly complete failure if my child became an atheist....blaming myself for what may have gone wrong in their upbringing.
If the Word tells me that the child "properly" trained in the Lord won't depart from it, then clearly somewhere I would have to re-examine where I may have made mistakes and nurtured disdain in him/her.
Parents, oftentimes, don't know it, but their hypocritical behavior, strict church attendance policies, knowing only formalism/ritual---all contribute to how the children view "religion".
Not guiding children on "how" to develop a relationship with Christ....is at the root of the disdain for "religion".

Very rich response.

Abetterperson:
Nigeria is among the most religious countries in world and I really want to know how a parent would react if they found out that their child is an atheist

Please me kind and give constructive criticisms
Remember not everyone is supposed to think like u

I would feel like a colossal failure as a mother.

Abetterperson:
Nigeria is among the most religious countries in world and I really want to know how a parent would react if they found out that their child is an atheist

Please me kind and give constructive criticisms
Remember not everyone is supposed to think like u

I would feel like a colossal failure as a parent.

budaatum:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-YpticqS9-8

She'll be something new. And feminine.

I have very mixed feelings towards this.

Pros:
She is very smart and has done well for herself. I believe she should be able to move Nigeria economically forward and even if she wants to steal or be corrupt, she will do so with sense while growing the economy & other sectors in the country. I have no doubt in her capacity.

Cons:
1. What party would she contest under? If it is APC or PDP which is most likely to clinch her the ticket (except if we wake up and vote personalities instead of party), then she is already indebted to some demons who would be serious clogs in her wheel.

2. Nigeria has systematic corruption which would be hard to eradicate except she decides to do J. K. Rawlings style before she settles into her tenure

3. Failure due to 1 & 2 would be a huge stain on her achievements so far.

As much as I want better leaders in Nigeria, I would prefer a dark hero first to sweep it clean for two terms then the NOIs can step in for maintenance.

ImaIma1:
You are right about the female keke drivers and minibus drivers. They are quite many around and seem to be doing well. The agberos don't stress them as much as they do the men.

Luckily, I am not the only that sees it, women win some, men win some.

Thank God it is not all gloom for women.

dingbang:
her mum recently called her for money to subscribe for gotv, her dad barely gives her money and she finds it worrisome.


From her conversations with male friends on phone, she always asks for data or recharge card, i try to advise her against such as they would take advantage of her as she doesnt have to depend on men for her day to day needs.

I also find it worrisome that instead of her parents to fend for her, they are comfortable living off a child that has no visible source of income.

Keep up the good work and I hope she utilizes the opportunity you have given her.

dingbang:
true it does go both ways, it is a pity that many ladies do not really understand the vast opportunities that await them when they fit into such roles. I'm currently sponsoring a lady on barbing training and when she is done, i'll set up a barbing shop for her so she can fend for herself. I really don't like the way she asks men for little things like data or airtime.

What about her parents?

Keep up the good work.

Digmygold:
She will visit the plastic surgeon again soon for more silicon in order to maintain her newly purchased Made in Turkey body.

Wetin concern me?

Am I the sponsor, the doctor, Tiwa or her family members?

I believe she was/is sensible enough to count the cost of the surgery before she started.

fruitvillas:
https://www.instagram.com/p/CTzZVe4s9j_/?utm_medium=copy_link


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsajDYErR9U

Mummy JamJam, this newly acquired pair of hips suits you very much.

Biko maintain this fleshy look.

beautyfunke:
Madam..where is your husband!!!!

With edible catering.

Next kwestion.

Asian man?

Strange!

Couldn't the rescue team over power the father and save the girl then settle their matter in the police station for attempted murder?

Where was the mother? Story says the father, mother and kids went to swim.

RIP young girl.

Women enjoy more patronage and leeway in male dominated blue collar jobs if prospecting customers can get past the gender.

I notice that agberos do not collect money from women drivers (buses/cars and Kekes).

If the woman's vehicle breaks down, the men quickly jump out to help her push it. Peeps are also willing to leave their change with them.

In retrospect, I think it goes both ways.

Male hairdressers also enjoy more patronage and leeway.

InfernoNig:
It's so bad. Too bad I have a forgiven spirit, my siblings have forgotten they have a father. And I wish I can be like them.

Your siblings have to forgive him, he is still your father.

Does not mean they would be chummy with him or build an intimate relationship.

Interestingly, that's how life works.

mariahAngel:
Why are some men like this ehn?
If it’s not a curse, what would make a man destroy/treat his family bad, or just walk out on his family just like that?

...and some young men of this generation are not even willing to do better. Instead, they’re telling themselves to plan their own retirement and not rely on their children because according to them “their wives might poison their children’s minds against them”
Only a bad man will not trust his own children to care for him in old age.

@bold:

As if God is not on the throne again.

If they don't believe in God, they should sha believe in karma.

You cannot sow the wind and reap the whirlwind.

That's why most of the women in these situations receive grace and favour with open doors.

mariahAngel:
E ti yari!

These stories are so common around that the men have the sure hope that the wives would accept them back (whether forgiven or not).

That's why I hammer on intentional fatherhood a lot here and I am particularly happy there is no isonu reconciliation to cater to someone who roamed the streets in his prime and now old & broke.

Even happier to read she has forgiven him so she peace and no sin hanging on her head.

Klass99:
Heard what nah?



What other details you dey find again? The article says she quit one job for another, reach Dubai come jam gbese.

Na real jam gbese!

This is the handiwork of international people not village people again.

Iyaebe:
I really can't explain, but maybe it has to do with my upbringing.I don't ever want to be equal with my man,I want him to be richer and above me in all aspects. If giving my future husband all I have to get him way richer than I am,then I'll gladly do it.I don't think I can manage the situation of been equal or richer than my man.I want to be under him in all aspects. Maybe I'm weird and wrong but this is my true person,this is how I want it to be.

When we are referring to 'equality' here, it is in worth and value.

What you have highlighted is roles in marriage.

You want your husband to be the sole provider while you handle the domestics, good for the both of you.

@bold: if this is not sarcasm, it is good you have highlighted what you want in your marriage. I pray you meet a man that is the right fit.

Tomorrow, when freedom fighters start blaming your husband, please be kind enough to say 'this is what I want'.

And you are not alone, a number of women actually WANT (not trained, indoctrinated or forced) that.

Iyaebe:
Irony of life,me I have problems with the bolded

Well we have different perspectives to life.

Can you highlight why you have issues with them though?

TMKsouth:
The department of basic education in South Africa has made available condom vending machines in some schools in a bid to decrease teenage pregnancies and the incidence of HIV/Aids.

The provision of condoms is one of the services offered in a programme targeting adolescent girls and young women aged 10 to 19.

Working with the department of health, the programme provides a range of services, including HIV testing, emergency contraception when a child is raped, and screening, investigation and treatment of sexually transmitted infections.

Granville Whittle, one of the department’s deputy directors-general, told parliament on Tuesday during a briefing on teenage pregnancies that the programme also provides support for teen parents on how they can take care of their babies.

“Girls don’t drop out because they fall pregnant; they fall pregnant because they dropped out and so schooling is a protective factor,” said Whittle.

“We don’t deny services to boys coming forward to say they want access to services. We provide testing for HIV and condom distribution for boys when they come and ask for them,” he said.

Rape & societal problems

The programme is being offered in districts with a high prevalence of HIV/Aids and teen pregnancies.

“Schools are being encouraged to report pregnancy, particularly those involving children under 14, because that’s rape.”

The deputy minister of basic education, Reginah Mhaule, told parliament that teenage pregnancy was a societal matter.

She said the statistics indicated that “most of these young girls are impregnated at home ... by relatives, by their biological fathers, stepfathers and uncles”.

Figures for national deliveries in facilities by the department of health revealed that 132,612 girls aged 15 to 19 fell pregnant in 2020 and a further 35,209 between January and March this year. A shocking 3,774 girls aged 10-14 years fell pregnant last year and 1,053 in the first three months of this year.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sowetanlive.co.za/amp/news/south-africa/2021-09-08-condom-vending-machines-join-arsenal-of-interventions-to-help-pupils/

How effective is dispensing female condoms in curbing pregnancy and HIV from rape and other shenanigans?

Would the lady take a break during the act to wear it or wear beforehand in preparation?

Why is the rape incidents high though? And what is the punishment for proven rape in SA?

I don't think this system would achieve what they want it to.

jesusjnr2020:
Okay. I just saw it and shared because i thought they were in the same place. I don't know Lagos that well, but I believe my friend mentioned Lekki. There's a possibility that they have different locations they operate in the state, so that may be another one, people should just be careful regardless.

Thanks and God bless.

Thank you also for the thread.