₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
1. The blame does not lie only on the men folk since our society is not made up of just men but also of men. The vast majority of these women raised by women and not the men.

2. A man has no real power except the power he obtains from those around him. A man who claims to be superior only appears to have power because because women around him submit to him being so over them. The moment women wake up to see themselves as equals in whatever relationship exist, that power claimed by men disappears.

There is no such thing as a "man's job"... even a woman can do what a man can do in a marriage ... what you call a "man's job", and we have seen this proven to us , even right there in Nigeria, many times before us to know this by now.

This here is a link to a story of how one particular woman did what you call a "man's job" and did it very well too.
https://www.nairaland.com/6748029/familys-story-mum-won-time#105721336
Nigeria is littered with many stories such as these, of women doing a "man's job" ... I dare say it has become the norm in that country by now.

However many of the same women, never border to teach their children, particularly the female children, that they are equal to men in all wise. They refuse to inform their children that men and women should be equal shareholders in whatever relationship they find themselves in. Women need to wake up to the truth that has been ever before them.

That very thread was in my mind when I was responding to the OP.

@bold: how can I like the bolded of your posts over and over again?

@AFONAMARO:

Interesting convo with your wife/family.

Where I start losing interest in these types of threads fast is when I begin to read 'women were trained/taught not to aspire to anything' bla bla because the reality around me (not even my extended family) (for two generations and counting) and counting is different.

Maybe this is a cultural thing because housewifery is very discouraged (infact, the word for wife is Iyawo Ile (housewife) and husband is baale Ile (head of house/home).

Alluding that stay at home wives (wives who do not earn) are liabilities mean the individual has no grasp of what marriage and family life is all about. Women need to learn about their identities so they stop comparing themselves in relation to men. A fish will think himself stupid all his life if he is compared to a bird.

I have also realized that some women do not have dreams of earning or becoming the next Dangote or Alakija or Awosika which is fine. Some men do not have dreams either and work just because they need to feed their families. I have a colleague who has to use the continuity of their marriage to make his wife work. She did not see the reason to because her husband is the provider culturally.

It is so funny that we do not see that men still enjoy these comparison with them. On traditional roles, A man cannot cook nor clean and he gets a wife with his full chest; nobody calls him a domestic liability A woman wants a provider and suddenly she is called a liability.

According to Collins dictionary, a liability is someone who causes a lot of problems or embarrassment. Also burden, inconvenience, drawback, impediment etc.
How is God's name does a wife who is doing every other thing than bringing in money accept the tag above all because her husband provides the money?

My point is that this discussion is much more complex than we make it seem and there are a lot of moving parts.

Kudos to you encouraging your girls to be whatever they want to be (If the opposite is a thing around you). LoL @ 'they can do everything': no human being can do everything

@women deserving more than they are accorded: please explain further.

Crossroad1:
she forgave him many years ago now, still send him small change at times.. Na pupsy want comeback o, he want to be a man and knowing him, he is enticed with everything she has and if she let him in her life again, he will want to dominate everything and assume control.. We should never eat our cake and have it

@bold:

Fantastic.

Did not know she has already forgiven him before I wrote my first post.

Hahahahahaha @ he wants to be a man.

nnamdiosu:
I totally agree. I never knew she was even sending him small change sef. She really tried.

Funniest thing is, strange as it sounds, Popsi might have even changed o. It's well sha

Change ko, APC ni.

If he has changed, let Heaven be his focus.

truthsayer009:
Ahn ahn did you read the post? The details is actually there oh. I mean the exact reason she moved from Amsterdam.

Exactly what I am referring to.

We only know what she said.

We don't know if she is running from the law, from a family, wants a make over, etc etc

Klass99:
Why would any sane person want to leave Amsterdam for Dubai, in the first place? I stopped reading at that point.

We don't know the fine details na.

Happy birthday ma'am,

God bless you.

She is quiet these days abi I haven't stumbled on her works recently?

There is something about this woman, Belinda Effah and Linda Ejiofor:

They are so soft, sweet and feminine that even if they kill someone in their role, you are still trying to exonerate them or plead their case.

Midas01:
There's nothing bad in putting your opinions out there. Since they're denying our people visa on homophobic issues then Nigerian Govt need to start denying pro LGBT expats visas too.

Rubbish

Abi?

blaise26abj:
Political correctness is what will destroy this world . People don’t see the contradictions . She has a right to voice her opinion based on her beliefs . Judging her on that right because her beliefs is contradictory. If an atheist says on social media that's there is no God and all people who worship God are delusional ,?will he/she be denied visas for theophobia?

You are jumping the gun.

The first question should be:

Is 'hate' for God and religion a crime?
Is 'hate' or disapproval of heterosexuality a crime?

Etc.

Morningblues:
What do you think.

What do I think?

That the ungodly system of the world is working hard to ensure that everyone is at least sympathetic to their demonic beliefs.

I wonder if an homosexuals posted disadvantages of heterosexuality, it would be dubbed at heterophobia: a word which obviously doesn't exist while there are many gays who 'hate' straight people.

Also, I can hate homosexuality (the act) without hating the people who practice it. Just how we hate stealing, lying, murder etc. and everyother vice according to our moral compasses without hating the perpetrators.

I am sure that not every one in Australia (if story is true) supports homosexuality.

ahnie:
Old overused male bachelor's I'm here to greet you people.





Una Weldon o

See you fuelling the fire.

Most single people (men & women) feel 'lonely' when their inner clock tells them it is 'time' to marry.

What curbs that loneliness for most is complete dedication to the service of God e.g. Reverend Fathers/Mother's etc etc.

Marrying the wrong person is another set of problems though; more complex than the loneliness of singleness.

Then it becomes jumping from frying pan to fire.

Humanoid01:
It's not a must to own something and lose it before you realize what you've lost. Sometimes we just feel some kind of emptiness inside of us and we know that we're missing something.

To some, that feeling doesn't linger, to others it lingers and goes deeper until they begin the search for the fulfillment of their cravings. We're just wired like that, no matter how we try to hide it.

Fiscus105:
Red piller association, they hate women yet they can't do without women , they lamenting on issue pertaining to women on secondly basis .

They hate institution of marriage yet they want children. Kids that would be eventually raise by single parent and beome problematic to the society the way they themselves lost out.

Mercy might not be as curvy as the SM picture however she looks very good in real life.

That's one thing I have always admired about her:

She took/takes very good care of herself.

The poster of the other picture is just mischievous.

Crossroad1:
you Sabi this thing Sha, are you from ondo state?

Yes, Akoko and my mom told me about it.

peacettw:
1. This world is made for men. Women need to work harder to achieve as much.

2. No matter how much you believe that you are different, this world will always beat you back into shape.

1. How?

2. Some people have successfully broken out of the mold positively & negatively.

Emilokoiyawon:
Here is mine:

1. It is impossible for your girlfriend, fiancee or wife to love you unconditionally. Their love is ALWAYS about WHAT YOU CAN DO for them.

2. Christianity and Islam have destroyed our beautiful African essence. The average African today is a zombie of European and Arabic lies and propaganda.

3. Because of number2 Africans will ALWAYS be the most impoverished continent on the planet.

1. Do men have this 'unconditional love'? Of yes, please examples. For women, give examples of this 'conditional' love

2. How did these religion destroy our essence? Give examples.

Kobojunkie:
Still im papa headache be that one! How can he rope another person into vow without the person consent?

If im no inform XYZ while im dey alive, na with flogging from grave, and for dream XYZ suppose hear am?

I don watch enough American horror flicks - Tales from the Crypt - to know that it is never a good idea to follow all this nonsense because next na this one go come dey make vows dey rope im own kids into it like this before them, before you know it. Next you go dey hear be say na generational curse dey do dem.

My first reaction was laughter when I read the OP.

Even the topic sef!

Quite epic.

angelfallz:
even if Dangote was in a society that is "ruled by opinions and perceptions" eg USA, nothing would have happened. A divorced billionaire sleeping with one woman like that, and his buttocks is seen....... nobody would care.

So your Dangote example does not apply to what you were trying to say.

I hear you.

descarado:
Sewing no be for mouth o
The thing pass my power

As in

Some things seen easier than they really are jare.

larryjonze:
thanks for saving some of us the stress of shalaying. when i read comments/post here i feel like women don't know a thing about men.
however i don't bother asking gurls about their past cos i know she's gonna lie, i understand a lady's past will always be a depreciation to her value.

Well, most people (men & women) online know the world works; they just want fantasy arguments offline

People's colorful past depreciate their value (this is outside Christianity where we are new creatures when we give our lives to Christ).

Men are just more concerned with this depreciation than women (on the average).

Klass99:
No Eazzy, you guys cannot handle it . Let's not even begin to bullshit ourselves about this.

In the course of my NL sojourn and history I have seen too many threads and posts by men which speaks to the fact that you people cannot handle it.

Common text/chat messages you see on your girl's phone alone, you people will begin to hyper-ventilate .



Sugar Daddy get levels nah. Olumo na local one, I have heard from a former boss that Tinubu is a classy and generous one, he doesn't need to sleep with a woman before money exchanges hand.

If he jams you at that his Oriental Hotel and you enter his eye alone, he will give you money in admiration of your beauty I don't know how true this is.

This same boss told me Remi jammed him somewhere with lots of babes flocking around him and she just gave all of them a cold shoulder and walked away. Maybe the Lion later hear am for house , but Remi kept her cool in public.

What do you expect her to do?

Drag wig in public?

NL, IG and Twitter are fantasy grounds for a lot of men & women to try their hands on ideas floating in their heads.

That's why I am amused when small girls think that money suddenly gives you 'super powers' or ability to call men's bullshit if you don't have it inside of you which is evident in their choices.

I have been privileged to be in the midst of big girls (women who can live very good lives financially) and I have realized that money or lack of has no impact on their relationships/ self-esteem.

A very very good number of women (rich or poor) take the same type of bullshit from men. If it is nature or nurture, I don't know ( though I suspect a mix of both).

The only difference is that they can afford diamonds, spa sessions, designer bags & shoes, luxury hairs, solid investments and whatever else catches their fancy as they console themselves. I wouldn't guarantee that some of them don't have toy boys sha.

Some of them walk away from the marriage because of shame when the roforofo becomes public or things are sooooooooo bad that they can't take it no more or they realize na die we dey.

Interestingly, they will train they boys same way.

Exact same way they complain their husbands are.

NoToPile:
Hmmm first time I am hearing of this.

Is this still common nowadays in Ondo state?

Our ancestors were very 'colourful'

No, it is an old practice.

IMAliyu:
My Dad was called gay during this year's as a lecturer according to my Mom
The man didn't show interest or mess around with female students.

Abi na.

It is better than sexual accusations (true & alleged).

PlsHelp762:

What about the other tenants?

Angelfrost:
Yes ma...

You see that Sex matter ehn... Any wise man who aims to hit the top or pinnacle especially with respect to politics, leadership, entertainment, religion, etc, must be more disciplined than an ancient Chinese Monk!!!

Very true.

Dangote was just lucky that the Nigerian society is not yet ruled by opinions and perceptions else he might have been very hit negatively with his butt/orange towel saga.

I think young men need to be taught discipline, assertiveness, healthy self-esteem and self-control as a part of a compulsory coming of age rite.

damosky12:
I agree. It's important to set boundaries...

Many lecturers in universities didn't start out being randy. Some were seduced into that habit by female students...

Now, a low-key fact every male has to know is that, no matter your values, you can be vulnerable to seduction. Hence, it's better to keep your distance and set strict boundaries. It's better they call you a nerd or a fool than spoiling your name.

@bold:

I don't agree with you.

If you carry yourself well, a female student would not reach out to you. If she decides to try herself, your rebuff and consequent boundaries would give her sense.

A male teacher should be professional and very strict with female students.

Angelfrost:
Well said... I couldn't have put it any better.

Public opinion is a strange and silly thing... Everyone just has to watch himself. It takes just one wrong move and your career ends!

Just a wrong move o.

And everything one has built goes to dust.

When it comes to sexual matters tending towards crime, men have to be particularly careful.

descarado:
Why u dey laugh

I think I will send my clothes to you to help me sew

ahnie:
I think op's beak has broken,why he dey address him Papa sister as his papA aunt and addresses his pman as her.


I no understand the lamba atall.
Modified....Please the father should park well and maintain his lane.that woman has gone Tru alot and should be left to enjoy her peace.
What a courageous, hard-working woman.
Honestly she's the real MVP.

His mother and countless mothers in her shoes are truly the MVPs.

That's why I am irritated when women who have it easier today whine and whine without getting anything done.

Some of these women built something out of nothing; some has to go back to school first and start hustling up to be able to stand.

Olunmercy56:
Sorry, what happened?! A man can't just leave his family for another lady expect you are giving him troubles at home ( no intimacy, you starved him good sex, you are materialistic, or too much demands, etc) or you are baby mama. please don't deceive yourself, realize your mistakes and ask God for forgiveness. If you are innocent, please go into fasting and prayers, God answer prayers, He will return back to you.

Not necessarily.

Men who cheat in marriage might jam Jaruma's disciples who jazzes them through sex and/or food.

I have seen examples where a man goes for business and comes back with a wife/woman.

Or men that feel their wives who hustled with them is now outdated and want a cha-cha sweet sixteen when they have arrived.