₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
Mtcheew

Some women don’t mind praying a side-chick dies all to ensure their horseband doesn’t cheat.

Some will rather employ a minor as maid, than a grown girl.

You will see them dressed in ankara and hideous head tie, moving from one crusade to another. All this to protect the supposed head of the house. Leaves me confused. Who is supposed to have this mantle of praying and protecting?

Do this for 10 years straight and you wonder why women age faster than men? You must age na. The day Nigerian men call themselves to order, you will see that pastors will stop making plenty money from aggrieved and stressed Nigerian wives.

The Ankara and hideous head tie got me.

The Nigerian Church honestly breed and encourage 'unchristian' and baby husbands.

I wouldn't be surprised that pastor has never taught the husbands how to be good husbands according to biblical standards.

His own wife might be among the Ankara tying group.

Is there any reason why the Nigerian Church CANNOT teach Nigerian husbands self-control, sexual discipline and loving their wives?

Any reason why they continue to breed and encourage baby husbands?

Please stop mixing culture & Christianity; it is very annoying.

Klass99:
I don't know what is shocking you about what I said o!

Mastering one's finances is not an exercise in eternity, it can be done in 90 days or less depending on how badly a person wants to turn their situation around.

Will you advise this OP to get married now? On the unreliable hope that his wife will be a better finance manager? And what if she's not?

Should he add a wife and baby to his list of expenses, when he hasn't figured out how to make 400k work in his favour?

I quoted the OP and gave my feedback.

Dude is truly not ready to marry; he needs to be financially intelligent first.

fxexperts:
Perfectly said. I will advice her to just ignore him and go bleeping the side Chick husband and other men.

me personally will like to bleep the idiots wife. In this case i don't blame women for cheating back at a useless man.



1. Trust me. Even if the idiot marries his side chick. They both cannot stay together for long. because they both know they are cheats and nothing more. So they cannot trust each other.

1. Says who?

A poster still said same thing happened to his parents and the new couple (his father + side chic) lived in peace till death.

WUdec:
Funny that a man that sodomises little boys then gives them record deals, pimps them out to women and men...etc is the one calling out rapists in the pic. Its no longer an industry secret, the whole island knows. Nigerians and hypocrisy.

In between, this is a good post but if you wanna capture the hearts of these little boys, would be better to address the issue on a heart-felt tone, not a rant.

These Nairaland kids have not had proper guidance, parental figures or mentors in their lives o the last way they'd respond to this is by being docile.

I understand the anger as a female and I tilt my hat to you for posting a topic very worthy of discussion

Nigerian males need to hear this everyday and actions do need to be taken. Same way the females of today need to do better jobs in raising themselves and their children. Laziness, social media, greed and fast money are turning our women into figures unworthy of self respect and respect from others. The moment Nigerian women become fully independent and remove the "Man" from their
ambitions, future motives and fend for themselves 100% creating jobs for themselves and inspiring other women, Nigerian men would start to respect them the way they respect foreign women.

The sad thing is, the average Nigerian always points fingers outward but never looks inwards himself/herself or their environment.

Weak women/men raise weak children. The person you are today will determine how good a parent you will be if persistence in self-discipline remains your mantra.

Nigerian parents pay more attention to your male children for the media is doing your parental duties. We no longer have men in Nigeria, we have boys. All they crave are the material and physical things of this world. They have become ambition-less and think that money equates success.


Their consumption of porn is another main factor that contributes to rape. If a parent picks up a book everyday and that parents actions are admirable, the children would grow up doing the same thing. If a parent is violent in the home, picks up the remote control, flexes babes whilst he is married and disrespects his wife in front of her children, the kids would grow up to do the same to females in their lives.

You're closest to my point. This whole blame game by women will only leave us with more rape cases tomorrow. We need to get pragmatic.

So many underlying issues are promoting rape. Few of these are:

1. In countries like Nigeria, corruption and the possibility to auction justice to bidding offenders is a major one. There have to be reforms to the justice system on rape. Rapists should be publicly humiliated before serving serious jail time to deter other potential rapists.

2. Sexual illiteracy: Society is not educating men on their sexuality. This is so wrong and we're losing the potentials of pure masculinity to this. So many wasted male human resources simply because they weren't taught how to bridle their appetite. Now the general consensus is that men today are less masculine and it's largely because of unbridled libido. Nothing takes away from the productivity and masculinity of men more than unbridled libido. Older men need to look out for our younger generation and teach them mastery of their appetites because if not, men will only grow more barbaric. Our sexual appetite can be bridled and we can have our future in our hands and not women's. Forums can be created for this online.
In worst case scenarios of sexual miseducation, some young boys are actually somehow made to believe that the woman enjoys rape. Damn!. Pleasing a woman sexually and making her happy is a major joy of sex o ye men and no rapist can ever get this.

3. Govt. should restrict porn as well as censorship of all this explicit movies and even social media(Instagram) "slaying". It's reorienting young males, growing their libido and causing them to be less human and productive in life.

4. We also need to reform female fashion because it fosters the situation. Of course ladies' will never understand that, having never experienced male physiology. And many also say "It's my body" but it's being brought into public space in the sight of all men. Like it or not, ladies' dressing today is contributing to irregular sexual behaviour of men and rape in particular and the annoying part is that it isn't the ladies guilty of this that may suffer. An innocent lady may end up suffering the effluence of the perverted lusts of males created by the general female behaviour. What people don't get is that it's not about the dressing of just the victim. It's actually about the dressing of every lady that feeds the lust of these perverts and building the momentum until one of the ladies falls victim when the pervert is finally fully demented.
People in Nigeria are hardly even seeing anything. Y'all just come down to western societies and behold the sickening nudity everywhere. This should equally be criminalized.

Of course, someone might bring up Islamic societies where rape is rampant but the problem with Islam is I don't think(and I stand to be corrected, no offense) it outrightly outlaws rape under at least under certain circumstances and places no real value or protection on a woman or her body, so rape runs free. In Jewish law however referenced in OP, it was both a crime for a woman to dress provocatively as it was for men to rape a woman. It worked. Rape is minimal there.
A good government should maintain some level of control over female fashion for our males' sakes especially for our little boys' futures.

@ bold:

Actually a biblical principle.

Nice post overall.

And very apt on weak/unproductive men as a result of unbridled sexuality.

The young men of today need to learn self control.

It is not even about rape, I am referring to consensual sex.

At gunpoint? By female cultist? Are you for real? Why do you all have or try to create this impression that women are not capable of hurting a fly? Why?
If it is rape when a woman's drink is laced, why isn't it rape when a guy's drink is?
You sure won't tell me ladies don't use the "I will shout that you want to rape me" threat to blackmail men into getting down with them . What's that?

Sigh...... Am I really reading this right now? You believe a guy can not be raped? Wao!

@ bold:

On point!

Here's the truth to all these, unless you all can seat and reason logically and not emotionally,you or rather We may never overcome this societal problem Rape or at least have a reduction in rape cases. Unless you lots go beyond ranting, typing long Epistles on social media or engaging in baseless arguments on Nl (which ends after few days and everyone goes back to their normal lives) We may never head anywhere.

When I saw Vera thread ,I was close to tears.It hurts and no one deserves that. But has that ever changed the fact that such is likely to happen again? It will, and like "We" always do, There will be uproar, we will rant, create threads,type theoritically correct Epistles, celebrities will REACT,Pastors will pray, Offenders would be punished and then we will go back to our normal lives until another case of million cases finds it's way on the internet again then we will have a repetition of the whole process.Please who are we decieving? . Until we understand the roots and address the issue, We may never get anywhere. And since most perpetrators are MEN. Isn't it wise to try to get into the minds of these people then profer solutions rather than issue unrealistic commands Online? Or getting to understand why they do what they do than create gender wars and man hating threads and opinions? I wonder where it has all got us all these years.


The world is bad enough, bad people are everywhere both Men and Women. Getting all emotional and spewing words that only last a moment won't get us ANYWHERE!

Unfortunately, you have deactivated.

This post still needs a worthy mention though.

Ariza/Palema, on this post, you did well.

Funny Poster.

Acidosis:
How do you manage your work responsibilities? Whoever spends in this manner can run down a Fortune 500 company in 2 weeks.

Just make sure you don't accept a budgetary-related role in your company and forget about starting a business.

You guys are evul

chatinent:
Don't act like you aren't from Nigeria. Of course, you can see a two-bedroom flat for that amount. It mustn't be in VI.

You think two bedroom in V/I is N1m?

OP must be living in Yaba, Ajah, Surulere axis.

Housing is very expensive in Lagos that's why I am wondering what a bachelor is doing with two bedroom flat.

Esseite:
Someone earns about 400k monthly which is suppose to be a very good salary, but his expenses despite frugal is not cutting it.. he has been advised on marriage countless times, but he does not just know how to support such. He tries to make people see reason as to why the "big boy tag" does not fit because he cant see it at all..

- his job prevents me from cooking and he really does not know how to cook either, really really bad at cooking.
- he stays in an apartment of 1m/annum, which is somewhat not luxury I think.

Rent - 84,000 monthly (average 2 bed)
Security - 5,000 monthly
Estate security - 3,000 monthly
Cleaner - 5,000 monthly
Dstv - 9,500 monthly
Auto Fueling - 50,000 monthly
Auto servicing - 7,000 (3mths projection)
Auto miscellenous/charges - 10,000 (tolls,pr)
Generator fuel/service - 30,000 monthly
Laundry - 10,000 monthly
Feeding - 77,500 (2,500/day)
Hangout/chills/network - 30,000 (7,500/week)
Clothing/wears/accessories - 10,000 (monthly)
Electricity bill - 10,000(monthly)
Gifts - 10,000(monthly- No wife/No GF)
Home maintenance/personal care- 10,000 (monthly)
Healthcare miscellenous - 5,000 (monthly)
Internet data - 10,000 (monthly)
Recharge card - 16,000 monthly (500 daily)

Total = N395,200
Savings - 7,800

How in the world would he explain to people that he does not have. He is an introverted character and a very frugal in finances. He didnt not factor in furnishing et all.. he has no school fees and multiple mouths to feed.

What is a bachelor doing with two bedroom flat?

If he is at work all day, why is he spending N30k on fuel at home?

If he is working from home, why is he spending N50k on car fuel in a month?

What kind of care consumes N50k fuel in a month? I am also assuming he spent N1m to rent a flat close to work. Why is he paying that much in rent, has no light and still have to send so much on car?

Food: N2,500 everyday?

You friend can't make eba and buy soup from online vendors?

Or he can't open YouTube and learn to cook basic meals?

Or he can't buy garri and provisions at home and take once in a while?

N16k for calls per month? Who is he talking to? If his job requires that much calls, they would provide phone credit allowance for him.

Your friend needs to learn financial management asap; he is living way above his means.

Klass99:
Alaye, there's nothing frugal about these expenses

Why is your savings not automated? As in, a huge chunk of your money should be automatically taken out each month and put in a savings or investment account with Cowrywise or Piggyvest.

Please remain single until you have mastered your finances, otherwise premium depression awaits you.

Mgtow8:
Middle class people and their love for being trapped in the rat race ......living rich and dying broke

Na so we see am.

Hope she has somewhere to go after the divorce because her family doesn't seem useful in this situation.

I wish her all the best in the next phase of her life.

siofra:
We have probably heard of alpha male and beta male but have you heard of Sigma male?

For those who don't know who an alpha male is, an alpha male is a dominant, assertive, protective, oftentimes successful, leadership type man or male. Alpha males are confident and the type of men that women are supposedly attracted to. While a beta male is a man who is less competent or desirable than an alpha male. Beta males are seen by society as weak and many times the type of men, women are supposedly not attracted to but they are not as bad as the Zeta male which is the lowest of the lowest. There are others which include the gamma and omega males which are all lower than the alpha male which is at the head of the hierarchy.

A Sigma male is a male who doesn't fit into the hierarchy but still manages to be attractive. They don't even care. They share some characteristics with alpha males but they do things their way and are non-conformists. Sigma males are supposedly more attractive to women because they seem independent. Sigma males detest authority and will bow down to no one, they usually have an air of mystery surrounding them and are highly intelligent.

Here are some of their characteristics:
1. Intelligence: Sigma males are very intelligent and tend to be analytical and critical thinkers, they are often very creative and think outside the box.
2. They are independent: Sigma males usually don't rely on people and so tend to be self-sufficient.
3. They don't feel the need to conform to any societal pressure.
4. They are usually quiet and spend time with themselves.
5. They value their freedom a lot and that's probably why they love traveling.
6. They avoid bowing down to authority.
7. They are not social butterflies.
8. Their MBTI types are usually INTP, ISTP, and INTJ.
9. They are usually redpilled from birth or an early age.

Beta male is not bad? So why did NL guys hap on beta males?

Or is that where their Redpill textbook stopped?

Besides, why would a lady think a rebellious man is a good mate especially for the long term?

purples25:
I left Nairaland for Real-world. Realworld is a code for another version of earth, where Nl is just an app in Nigeria. Let's just say the world has advanced to the level of travelling to other realms

Well, that's my fictional story on Nairaland. Feel free to draw anything silly and post your ideas with them. Sometimes you have to bring out the child or imaginative spirit in you.

Lovely story.

Have you thought of writing novels/columns/blogging or kids' illustrated books or being a cartoonist?

purples25:
I headed to another upscale part of Nairaland. I'd checked online for events that would be going on today. I found out that the owner of the biggest and most successful chain of restaurants in Nairaland was throwing a party, and everyone could come. Her name, Bukatyne. She looked awesome in her blue dress with the big red rose on it. Such a rich and successful lady. I enjoyed myself at that party.... all that food...

Awwwww

Just seeing this, Thanks a lot of the mention

purples25:
Taking the girl to cook and clean for her. Of course she does not believe that the girl has a say. She will make that girl her new emotional punching bag, house help and husband. The girl won't be allowed to go out and develop her life, since mommy needs company and compensation. I speak from some where, don't quote me on this.

Can you see she did not drag a boy instead? She needs a pliable house help and she knows the son can refuse to be that because he is a man. Mothers often believe their daughters are the dustbins of the family. A lot of times, women just can't treat other women right. They demand for rights from men, but they don't think their fellow women actually deserve it.

Believe me, that girl is struggling because this woman will over work her, treats her without respect and will turn her to a personal cook. Mommy is tired of married life, she doesn't want to cook again. In a house with the two of them, who do you really think will do the house chores? Mommy? No, this girl is going to be her personal maid. And if she is with the father, yes, she will work, but the father will not be as picky and troublesome as the mother. She would not be required to keep every cupboard and crevice shiny until she is thirty five. Mark my words, this woman, if she keeps her, will block her from school, cause trouble in marriage, eventually this girl will serve her until she is near forty. Mark my words.

Hmmmmmm.

elonmuskbaby:
lmaoo tout go behave respectable in private and public?

Yoruba say no Matter how much you wash a pig clean,e go still smell like pig.a tout will always be a tout regardless of the size of his pocket.

He is the one worried about his public image so I gave him a tried & trusted advise.

OnlyDeCapPlease:
How you see yourself is one thing and how others see you is another thing. Other people talk about you behind your back so it's not easy to know how others see you. Even more difficult if you are rich because most people will indulge you with what you want to hear.

Most people have an OVER inflated view or and UNDER inflated view of themselves (physically and mentally). **It's actually better for people to underestimate you though

So if you are wrong about what type your are yourself, then you'll be wrong about who you think your type is. Girls especially have a generic view of what they think their type is - Tall, dark, handsome, rich, romantic etc. Sounds familiar? That's what all girls want based on what they think is cool to have or what their friends will think is cool. Thats why they end up all going for the very same scarce type of guy, making it very easy for us, and we obligingly fvck them and move on to the next dreamer.

**Sometimes its good to put yourself in state that you can almost have an out of body experience. For example smoking some good weed (this is for medicinal purposes. I'm not recommending habitual weed smoking. Weed is a drug and should be used accordingly, with the right dose, for the right purpose). In such a state you can almost see yourself for what you are and see others for what they really are. It's a spiritual things when it's done well. Your head go reset small.

@bold:

Beautifully said.

A lot of people don't even know themselves, what works for them or their value in the sexual or relationship market.

Mrscarter:
Took me a long time to realize that my type wasnt good for me n that it wasnt really what i wanted afterall. My type now is the complete opposite of what it was wen i was really young

What was your type then?

mariahAngel:
You dey mind them?

A wicked and satanically evil generation that would rather encourage abortion than abstinence! *spits!
Generation of baby murderers!

You don vex ke

There is nothing new na. 1 Tim 3 has said it all.

angelfallz:
You're acting like abortion is not a criminal offence in Nigeria.

Man made laws (no matter the intention) CANNOT replace natural laws and principles.

The criminality of abortion is besides the point.

Let's assume the OP reports them and they force the mother's hand.

Four months down the line, babe starts bleeding and they rush her to the hospital:

Gbam! She just had a miscarriage (God forbid).

What would the OP do?

Likewise, a lady cannot force a man to be a good father to a child he doesn't want.

The highest thing that man-made laws has been able to do is force him to be financially responsible for the child.

And we know that finances is just a part of a child's upbringing.

A side chic or wife dumps a man for getting another woman pregnant?

Goodluck to them all.

@MC Oluomo, a better way to ensure your public image is not ruined is by behaving respectably in public & private.

angelfallz:
People want to eat their cake and have it. People want to have sex and not deal with the consequence of having sex.

I believe abortion is a criminal offence in Nigeria and rightly so.

As far as I am concerned, a woman that commits abortion no matter the circumstances (except if the pregnancy endangers her) has committed murder. A man who aids in abortion in anyway is culpable for murder.

The OP is not aiding in this case.

The thread exposes the hypocritical nature of humans.

If the OP opened a thread that he wanted the girl to abort, 90% of the people on this thread would jump on him.

If he or the girl said they wanted to change their sex, they would be old enough and matured to do so.

Everyone dey mix and match as it suits them.

angelfallz:
The bolded,
That is not true at all.

Also, asking him to wash his hands off his child without fighting for his child would make him complicit in the murder of his child.

That is one of the areas women win bros.

You CANNOT force a woman to carry your child to term.

I believe he has engaged the girl's family before coming to NL.

If after all he has done and will do (further advised on the thread) they decide to abort the baby, he is innocent in the matter and has no blood on his hands.

Burgerlomo:
Lobatan

CuteEmma:
What are you guys even talking about? So you expect the man to respect his wife and marriage by doing what exactly?

This woman failed to think before acting. Causing problem for the side chic only increased her own problems, now she has to face the consequences. It’s not about wrong or right anymore.

I don’t see how she would ever be able to live peacefully with the side chic, even if it’s in another apartment, as long as she’s within reach, there’s going to be payback and the husband will take sides with the side chic; her best option is to leave, something she should’ve done quietly if she was wise.

Back to your statement of respect, did you expect the man to ignore the other woman who had been thrown out of her house in order to respect his wife? As if he doesn’t have conscience?

And also, going to the woman’s husband is silly. Why couldn’t she deal with her own husband? For me fighting with the side chic is even too much, if you can’t work things with the husband then leave.

@bold:

How do you like your kunu?

If this story is true, Facebook no vex,

The mother should leave the child for the dad and do regular checkups.

Taking her forcefully would be traumatic for her.

oliverwrites:
Women truly are the problems of women.

I can't believe this statement. So nothing wrong with the tw*t of a husband behaving like an e-goat that should be slaughtered.

We men have tendencies, it is fact but doesn't mean it all of a sudden right to cheat on your woman and as if that's not enough, the public prick saw nothing wrong and goes about threatening the woman.

He deserves being castrated. Thank GOD I am not GOD, such a man I will visit it with some sickness for a while to let him realise a woman who can cheat on her husband with you doesn't really love you.

I have three daughters and when I hear pathetic stories like this I become annoying, restless and more prayerful for them.

Men we have today are mostly useless and this is coming from an 80s man.

In addition to becoming annoyed, restless and more prayerful, train them to have self respect, dignity and be more logical in their thought process.

Cliches unfortunately don't work on me Women are truly the enemies of women ko, cat is the enemy of goat ni.

The woman who left her husband to sleep with another woman's own is not the enemy; the man who left his wife to sleep with another man's wife is not the enemy.

It is Bukatyne who read the write up and commented based on the woman's pain point that is the enemy.

Madam OP is not mad her husband is cheating (did you see where she accused the man in the writeup); She is mad that he wants to marry his married side hen as a second wife.

And I told her and other women in her shoes that she chose the wrongest way to achieve that.

Imagine you saying men have the tendencies to cheat; and women don't? with the DNA disasters around?

Let people (men & women) not zip up and be talking to tendencies about.