₦airaland Forum

Belafonte:
I concur with this. Nigerian men have refused to lead, probably because we don't know how to. We are given to carnal pursuits and this is the perfect recipe for failure.

@Bold:

Spot on.

We infantilize leadership in our society.

God help you men become worthy leaders in the family which is the bedrock of the society.

Amen, amin, ase, iseee!

descarado:
Mr, why are you making video about this?
Reminds me of Nigerian gays.
Nigeria is a hostile place for them cos of extreme religious beliefs. Do we have gays? Of course yes, but they piped low cos irate people will not hesitate to lynch them.
This man would have piped low and look for ways to seek asylum outside his country. He is at advantage but he is exposing himself to danger and even those who will rescue him.
Olodo rabarata

Real olodo

Anyways, common sense is not common.

cococandy:
But his identity is hidden. You don’t know him. Neither do the Taliban. He merely stated what would realistically be the fate of gay people there now.
Ask yourself why your first instinct is to jump to judging and insulting him.

It’s entitlement to want to be free to live? Okay. Got it

Once a secret is told to one person, it is no longer a secret. His identity is no longer hidden the moment he granted the interview and he might have drawn the Taliban's attention to something that was not even in their radar initially.

Stating the fact has become judging and insulting in our woke and politically correct generation; I understand.

There is no absolute freedom anywhere; that is the illusion modernity sells to people. Everyone is constrained to conform to something.

@OP:

1. Keeping nagging till they change;
2. Do something they don't like to drive the impact;
3. Join them in leaving it dirty till big cleaning day;
4. Always nag while cleaning it;
5. Put measures in place to mitigate about repetition;
6. Clean it in peace

Choose either one or all six as you like

You are spoilt for choice

Richy4:
This got nothing to do with marriage.. even flat mates does things like that...

I remembered sharing common spaces while in Uni, the Chinese landlord that rented the student accommodation wrote in the kitchen " your mother is not here, Please clean after yourself.

Congratulations sir

I was about to ask for his twin, Mama Peace

cococandy:
You wouldn’t have this same opinion if a group of heterosexuals are at risk of being hunted and killed for loving people of the opposite gender.

What you consider entitlement, victim mentality and whining amongst a marginalized group is the same thing that you take for granted in your own life. Simple because you believe it’s your inalienable right. It shouldn’t have to be discussed because duh, it’s your right. The way you feel entitled to your life in all its aspects is the same way they feel about theirs.

Empathy can’t be taught.

You don't know anything about me to assume what my opinion would be

Everyone would 'stick out' somewhere; if you do not have the emotional intelligence or the mental capacity to survive till there is a resolution, goodluck. Except the Taliban has a list of homosexuals, the foolish man would have been safer quiet. It is not like homosexuality is obvious unlike gender, complexion or nationality.

As always, I don't have empathy for entitlement, foolishness, victim mentality and whinners.

Know this and have peace.

Does the Taliban have homosexuality detector test?

If no, can't you shut up and live your life while you find a way out of the system?

I am sure the human race would have been wiped out if humans were this stupid, entitled and nursed victimhood mentality.

Instead of looking for solutions or making do with the hand life has dealt them, they keep whining and looking for pity.

Mercy & her hubby look so alike that their kids are a perfect blend of the both of them.

God continually bless your marriage.

Amen.

Onyi22:
And the palm wine tappers were busy tapping from their engagement and relationship
What should they do now?

@bold:

Klass99:
Oh....really? I didn't know that either, please can you further enlighten me.

Does the blood of covenant mean blood shed in a covenant (an agreement) between two or more people like it was/is with Christ, The Church and God the father? Does the blood of covenant also mean blood oaths people make for a variety of reasons?

All of the above.

It also means the bonds/friendship/relationship you have made by choice can be more important than your birth family.

The Biblical version would be: there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.

Klass99:
My thoughts are ;

1. Scripture doesn't lie and your narrative only proves that God's word is indeed true - A man's worse enemies are from within his own household

2. They say blood is thicker than water, but sometimes your deadliest enemies are your closest relatives - That's the opening statement of an intriguing crime documentary titled Blood Relatives. But, an accurate statement and reality of life.

3. I am not shocked or surprised at anything you've said, I've read worse stories on Twitter and watched even more brutal documentaries of relatives turning on each other and it is always about money.

When I see comments like these - blood is thicker than water, family is everything, nothing beats family etcetera.......... I just smile and think to myself, some people have very little life experience, a limited experience of the real world or they are just plain naive. I don't mean to be negative or even sound negative, I'm just saying it in a matter of fact way.

@ 2. The full proverb is 'The blood of covenant is thicker than the water of birth'.

So we have been applying it wrongly.

The opposite of why people live.

pepetua:
I am a husband and wife agent and my commission is moderate, just call or watsap.

Husband & wife agent?

Do you collect 10% of the bride price or 10% of the engagement things?



Babe might be catching cruise.

If she is not, hope she never use husband do boyfriend.

lonelydora:
The me in me hates intimidation

It is not all about rights.

Putting off the phone the first time the people told you would have cost nothing.

Worse case, you call the person back and plead 'poor network'.

With your strong head, you delayed the other people in the bus with you. It did not occur to your that someone might be in a hurry or trying to solve an emergency.

Thank God you are alive to share the story so others can learn from it.

Such a beautiful interview and all you should extract as headline is this? :-

Only salvation and holiness takes one to Heaven. Perhaps we should all wring our hands on earth then since nothing here takes us to Heaven.

The woman sounds like she has a very fun personality.

Klass99:
How person wan sing kumbaya for this matter?

It feels like the beginning of the end, kinda situation.

If you are one of the siblings in this case and you only hear what the fiancee did, your mind go do you one kind towards that babe.

She don buy bad market, where an apology may have worked with her guy alone (if she kept the fight between them with no witnesses) it will now have to be extended to all the siblings

The elder brother has slapped her so two ge four.

Two of them are now calm after the temporary madness and decide the way forward (if interested).

If I were one of the siblings, she wouldn't say it even if she fell on her head from her mother's back

How people celebrate divorce that is the failure of a marriage is baffling.

Richy4:
I know that some people can say so many unbelievable and unprintable things when they were angry just to score a point... Some people can even say worse that what that lady said ..

Say worse things to their spouse/partner in private is one thing.

To say in the presence of the partner's family? I have not seen.

Most abusive/bad partners still try to maintain optics in front of their in-laws.

Maybe it is the Yoruba in me sha.

I rarely see bad partners misbehave in front of their in-laws. They maintain optics sha. If a husband/wife is uncouth to their in-laws, you will know that the marriage don enter express.

GboyegaD:
Let's assume it is real, did the brother's act not justify the lady's statement? She was way overboard and she herself isn't different from the guys in question however, his actions cannot be justified.

I am not justifying the elder brother's actions; he chose to deal with the issues as he wants to.

If the elder brother's slap justifies the lady's statement, then the lady herself lacks home training. Because if her parents trained her well, she would know what to say.

The fiancee and the elder brother are birds of the same feather.

I just hope the last sibling in-law I am expecting in my immediate family is not like the girl sha.

He might chop slap or if home training still stand gidigba in that moment, I will send him home.

'If his mother/parents trained him well, he will know what to say in public. And I would warn him in his miserable life never to say such again'.

On the other hand, the slap is faster to correct.

Nonsense!

I sha trust that no in-law who knows me will say such nonsense to my face.

Richy4:

I can't just watch anyone disrespect my mother..... Though I wouldn't have slapped the lady if I was in that situation.. I would have given her "the Look"( looks given to scums) or a serious warning with red eyes...
But since the big man has slapped her already, he should have used the opportunity to reset the younger brother's brain for standing there while his late mother was disrespected... I am guessing it was not the first time she was saying such...

I am picturing the scene and I am just praying no mad person joins my family.

My husband can't try such, my SIL can't try such so let me be praying my baby sis don't jam such.

On the flip side, I can't try such never can my brother.

I am tempted to think the story na cruise.

A fiancee that can look her elder BIL to be in the eye and tell him that his dead mother did not train her kids well that's why they are misbehaving?

This story na cruise abeg!

Richy4:
She did not only insult the late mother but she have to also include all the brothers.... what a girl with runny mouth.....That younger brother should have been slapped too for tolerating such transgression ...

@bold:

Na wa o!

You mean the slapping rounds has not ended?

Klass99:
Lol, this was funny. How did you react when someone insulted your late mum?

@ Topic, if I was the lady in this story I will seriously reconsider moving forward with that marriage.

Because, this is not the sort of thing family members easily forgive nor forget. I don't even believe people forget certain slights to begin with, they may forgive but will never forget.

They may also hold a grudge for a really long time, while claiming they are over it. How does one even redeem herself in a situation like this? Fear go catch me to proceed with that marriage o!

While there was provocation and a reaction, all the players get their own for body. From the engaged couple who couldn't suspend their fight while they had guests, to the fiancée who doesn't know when to stop talking and a brother who couldn't rein in his temper - this is African Magic Reloaded.

Na real AM reloaded.

They should all sing kumbaya and make up jare if still interested in the relationship/marriage.

Teerach:
They fill other nations and begin to demand for the same haram they ran away from. I'm not finding this their exit funny anymore.
They've all refused to be enlightened.... It's only a matter of time before they begin to clamour for their muslim shitz.

@bold:

That's the irony of the whole situation.

Kudos to the co-founder for endangering her life to rescue the girls.

Isn't the interview premature though? You don't want the Taliban finding out about the co-founder or putting systems in place to mitigate against more people/women escaping.

I also hope the Aghfan populace who escaped to other countries remain very grateful to them and refuse to develop entitlement mentality.

I also hope they integrate themselves in observation to the local laws and not expecting their host community to adjust their laws to fit Sharia.

1Sharon:
As long as the Muslim population remains around or under 2% in any given country, they will be for the most part be regarded as a peace-loving Minority, and not as a threat to other citizens. This is the case in:

United States -- Muslim 1.1%

Australia -- Muslim 1.5%
Canada -- Muslim 1.9%
China -- Muslim 3 %
Italy -- Muslim 2.5%
Norway -- Muslim 1.8%

At 2% to 5%, they begin to proselytize from other ethnic minorities and disaffected groups, often with major recruiting from the jails and among street gangs.

This is happening in:

Denmark -- Muslim 2%

Germany -- Muslim 3.7%
United Kingdom -- Muslim 4.7%
Spain -- Muslim 4%
Thailand -- Muslim 4.6%

From 5% on, they exercise an inordinate influence in proportion to their percentage of the population.


For example, they will push for the introduction of halal (clean by Islamic standards) food, thereby securing food preparation jobs for Muslims.
They will increase pressure on supermarket chains to feature halal on their shelves -- along with threats for failure to comply.

This is occurring in:

France -- Muslim 8%

Philippines -- 5%
Sweden -- Muslim 5%
Switzerland -- Muslim 4.3%
The Netherlands -- Muslim 5.5%
Trinidad & Tobago -- Muslim 5.8%

At this point, they will work to get the ruling government to allow them to rule themselves (within their ghettos) under Sharia, the Islamic Law. The ultimate goal of Islamists is to establish Sharia law over the entire world.

When Muslims approach 10% of the population, they tend to increase lawlessness as a means of complaint about their conditions.

In Paris, we are already seeing car-burnings. Any non Muslim action offends Islam, and results in uprisings and threats, such as in Amsterdam , with opposition to Mohammed cartoons and films about Islam.
Such tensions are seen daily, particularly in Muslim sections, in:

Guyana -- Muslim 10%

India -- Muslim 19.4%
Israel -- Muslim 16%
Kenya -- Muslim 10%
Russia -- Muslim 15%

After reaching 20%, nations can expect hair-trigger rioting, jihad militia formations, sporadic killings, and the burnings of Christian churches and Jewish synagogues, such as in:

Ethiopia -- Muslim 32.8%

At 40%, nations experience widespread massacres, chronic terror attacks, and ongoing militia warfare, such as in:

Bosnia -- Muslim 40%

Chad -- Muslim 53.1%
Lebanon -- Muslim 59.7%

Nigeria 50% Muslim

From 60%, nations experience unfettered persecution of non-believers of all other religions (including non-conforming Muslims), sporadic ethnic cleansing (genocide), use of Sharia Law as a weapon, and Jizya, the tax placed on infidels, such as in:

Albania -- Muslim 70%

Malaysia -- Muslim 60.4%
Qatar -- Muslim 77.5%
Sudan -- Muslim 70%

After 80%, expect daily intimidation and violent jihad, some State-run ethnic cleansing, and even some genocide, as these nations drive out the infidels, and move toward 100% Muslim, such as has been experienced and in some ways is on-going in:

Bangladesh -- Muslim 83%

Egypt -- Muslim 90%
Gaza -- Muslim 98.7%
Indonesia -- Muslim 86.1%
Iran -- Muslim 98%
Iraq -- Muslim 97%
Jordan -- Muslim 92%
Morocco -- Muslim 98.7%
Pakistan -- Muslim 97%
Palestine -- Muslim 99%
Syria -- Muslim 90%
Tajikistan -- Muslim 90%
Turkey -- Muslim 99..8%
United Arab Emirates -- Muslim 96%

100% will usher in the peace of "Dar-es-Salaam" -- the Islamic House of Peace.. Here there's supposed to be peace, because everybody is a Muslim, the Madrasses are the only schools, and the Koran is the only word, such as in:

Afghanistan -- Muslim 100%

Saudi Arabia -- Muslim 100%
Somalia -- Muslim 100%
Yemen -- Muslim 100%

Unfortunately, peace is never achieved, as in these 100% states the most radical Muslims intimidate and spew hatred, and satisfy their blood lust by killing less radical Muslims, for a variety of reasons.


It is important to understand that in some countries, with well under 100% Muslim populations, such as France, the minority Muslim populations live in ghettos, within which they are 100% Muslim, and within which they live by Sharia Law.

The national police do not even enter these ghettos. There are no national courts, nor schools, nor non-Muslim religious facilities. In such situations, Muslims do not integrate into the community at large. The children attend madrasses. They learn only the Koran. To even associate with an infidel is a crime punishable with death.

Therefore, in some areas of certain nations, Muslim Imams and extremists exercise more power than the national average would indicate.

Today's 1.5 billion Muslims make up 22% of the world's population. But their birth rates dwarf the birth rates of Christians, Hindus, Buddhists, Jews, and all other believers.


Muslims will exceed 50% of the world's population by the end of this century.

You mean business

immortalcrown:
Jealousy is not part of love. Jealousy has more negative impacts than positive impacts. There is more anger and less joy in a jealous mind, which means a jealous mind is a bad mind. And a bad mind can hardly offer love.

Love is what you owe men, women, children and adults. How does jealousy form part of it? Are you jealous when you see your fellow man talking to another man or your fellow woman talking to another woman? Are you jealous when your children are happily playing with other children? It is only when sexual intercourse is involved in your relationship that you bring in Jealousy. And sexual intercourse is not part of love.

People claim that being jealous shows they do not want to lose their partners. I disagree. You cannot use jealousy to keep someone you do not want to lose. As you try to use jealousy to keep him or her, she or he will dump you for someone that is more caring than you. Jealousy is not care. You can be so caring without being jealous. You can be so jealous without being caring at all. This is why breakup rate is increasing. The more people focus on being jealous in the name of love, the more they fail in relationship.

Jealousy is expressed for two reasons. One, when someone else has what you lack or what you wish to keep for yourself alone. Two, when a person you have sexual interest in is close to someone else and you fear that the closeness might result in sexual intercourse between them.

That I love my wife does not make it right for me to stop her from being friendly to outsiders. I will only guide her for three things. One, not to disclose my secret to the outsiders. Two, not to indulge in sexual intercourse with outsiders. Three, to know that no outsider deserves her time and resources more than I do, which means that if I am at home, she should not keep an outsider company leaving me lonely, or if I am hungry, she should choose giving me food over chatting with an outsider. And these things I point out in this paragraph are about marital responsibilities, not about love. That she keeps me company at home does not mean she does not love outsiders. That she serves me food before chatting with an outsider does not mean she does not love the outsider. If I am not at home, she is free to give her time to outsiders. Allowing her to give her time to outsiders when I am not at home does not mean I do not love her. But when I order her to stay indoor even in my absence, it means I am suspecting her. That is jealousy. A jealous man will be angry when his wife spends 5 minutes with an outsider. But he will not complain when the wife spends 10 hours on movies without checking on him. This is a proof that jealousy by human is about sex and domination, not about love.

Sexual intercourse is not part of love. Keeping something good to yourself alone when others deserve a share of that thing is not part of love. Wishing that other people lack good things is not part of love.

The mistake people make is they think love should be between only husband and wife, and parents and children. Love is for all. Love is love. There is nothing like more love and less love. For Christians, there is no part of the Bible where God or Jesus Christ said "I love this person most". God said "A man after my heart". God said "In whom I am well pleased". But God did not sound comparative or superlative in these sentences. Where the Bible said "..no greater love", the Bible is not measuring love itself. The Bible is referring to how far Christ went in expressing love. This is why God said "Love your neighbour as you love yourself". God did not say "Love your wife more than you love your neighbour".

@bold:




@Topic:

I like you quoted the Bible, I was going to make a reference and did not know your religious inclination.

There is no true love without jealousy. When you love someone (romantic or not), you always want to be the most important person to them. The idea that they regard someone else 'higher' than you in that sphere makes you jealous.

Jealousy is this context is not a negative emotion; it becomes negative when it is in excess or the partner doesn't want you to function or exist outside them.

In some aspects such as sex, secret sharing, special activities amongst yourselves (not limited to sexual partners), that jealousy drives for exclusivity.

Or like a poster above, you prefer territorial to jealousy?

Even like the Bible say, our God is a jealous God.

Lamanii22:
I am not jealous but I am territorial.... I protect my territory.

siofra:
Help Solve This Engagement Wahala

My answer is

A. Reasonable

When I see your own answers I'll give my reasons for choosing A

A man proposes to his woman with a receipt of her $70k student loan debt being paid in full in place of a ring. She thanks him, but says she still requires a ring before getting married. What is she?

A. Reasonable B. Ungrateful C. Smart D. Dumb

I blame the man.

How can a sensible 1,000,000 yards husband material husband cast his pearls before a senseless 0.1 yards wife material?

He obviously does not know his value.

Marry her and come crying after two years that your wife is a negative balance.

All4fun:
Look at the image below and tell me who you would pay visit to

I would only visit cousin.

Gadafii:
yes, women have been leeches since the days of Adam, so why can't men too

So you don't have an issue with leeching; you only have an issue when you are at the receiving end.

Toor.

MadeMan01:
Men are not complicated. We just need peace of mind, food, sex. When a woman cannot give this, there is a strong probability to cheating

You did not answer any of my questions.

Gerrard59:
It enables the woman know that she should be financially independent regardless of her marital status especially if she marries a typical Nigerian alfa meil. The stigma associated with divorce won't be felt as she knows what she wants and will make her happy. Basically, she knows her rights, especially right to happiness, and will seek to earn them.

I'll be stunned to find a Nigerian lady who has/knows feminist ideals and decides to remain with the man in question.

@bold:

Let me balance and laugh well first. .

Eku stunning because you would be very stunned.

@other parts of your post:
Financial 'independence' does not stop abuse or nonsense in marriage. I have seen men & women who are sole earners still bullied and abused by their spouses.

Stigma in divorce: maybe it is a cultural thing but I never really saw any woman stigmatized because of a divorce or in the olden days (sending the woman packing). People gossiped but then, what have people not gossiped about? Lagbaja cannot pay school fees, Temedu has moved to a bigger/smaller flat, Kosoko's children are abebelube etc. (You get the idea).

The question should be: 'why should a woman marry a typical Nigerian Alfa mail?'

That is what you should ponder on.

When a woman marries right/well, she doesn't need feminism as a shield to protect her from her bad choice (by omission or intentional).

When a man marries well, he doesn't need red pill to warn him about the dangers of women.