₦airaland Forum

Rozz:
wao,i give it to you,you are reachly blessed with wisdom.Whats ubunjaas thread? where can i find it.Thanks ma

crackkhaus:
Two of my friends, one South African, the other Welsh of East African descent...they will always say:
'Nigerian men and Nigerian women...you all deserve each other, none of you are innocent.'

I giggle every time we get into one of those gists and they end it like that.

Rozz:
It is said that a young mind is easier to adaptability and sustenance but as the mind grows old it tends to become habituated to firmness in the decision making process, thus leaving far less possibilities for the couples to compromise on situations.For women,an early marriage is safer in terms of pregnancy.However there are also disadvantages of early marriage for ladies like:responsibility has to be shouldered at a very young age,missing out on the fun of teenage life and being young,health also can get affected as early pregnancy can have a negative impact on overall health and so on.For the married women here who quite married early and still sustaining the marriage,how was the journey like? any regrets?what would you have done differently?what advice would you give a young lady within the age bracket of(17-21) who wishes to get married early as soon as the opportunity present itself?For the married men who married a very young lady,how was the experience with your young wives? bukatyne maximus69 you are welcomed.

MMotimo:
@Topic

You’d think this should be common knowledge by now but no, even in Nigeria of 2020, some people still think they are doing kids a favour by bringing them to this world to suffer when they don’t have the financial capacity to raise them.

The same person begging other people to help raise his/her kids would be the same one waiting to feed off those kids the moment they are capable of earning any sort of income; even if it’s just #20,000 a month.

This mindless birthing exists in the developed world too but the difference is the society and the levels of government there have programs in place to support low income folks - regular cash deposits to their bank accounts, subsidies, free services that everyone else has to pay for, scholarships targeted at students from low income households, etc.

crackkhaus:
Circle of life.

I cannot can abeg

Mizwisdom:
True talk. But it's not entirely the man's fault. If a man decides to be nice to his wife, help her do domestic chores, cares for his family and makes the wife happy, if his family member visits and sees what he is doing, he/she will quietly retur to his family to give a report that his wife has bewitched him, she's using remote control for him, she has turned him to mumu, etc. People don't expect men to be good husbands, they'll say he's bewitched. So whoever marries a Nigerian man should know what to expect before entering, that's why I'm telling this sister that what she's going through is what society expects her to go through and it's what she will expect to put her son's wife through, so swallow the bitter bill

Dande55:
[s][/s]
Gibberish. You are just a clown.

Cuddlebugie:
Tell me, why won't everybody "hate" you?

GboyegaD:
This your number 3 though.... I can't imagine someone apologizing over and over again for a crime not committed and I sure would detest it s a man.

crackkhaus:
Wow, so many stories of unhappy women in their marriages.

What must be responsible for this

Is it that the men involved have always been like that, but as expected, they are very good at gaming these women with love and excellent sex... OR is it that the women never really paid attention, got carried away easily, and were quite easy to deceive?

It really has to be one or the other, because I don't believe an adult already set in his/her ways can suddenly change.
They may pretend, adapt, or be able to project a false personality but to change? NEVER.

Saintmary:
Reading your post, other similar posts on this thread, and MizJaY's previous posts, my head is reconfiguring and recallibrating about marriage.
Ego without money is just bullshit.
Thank you for sharing your experience.

crackkhaus:
In 2020, it's very easy please.

Heiterkeit:
Do men and women truly hate opposite genders with high self-esteem?

According to this moniker @funmisticqueen2: "So why am I one of the most hated females here, because my self esteem is above average (a lot of work to get there) and I say my truth in a way no one wants to hear. Men in Nigeria, live off putting the women below them. That's why I call it privilege.

Why do you think we have redpillers here. The are the ones who cry foul because they are losing their privilege."

Extracted from the following thread: https://www.nairaland.com/5825659/fine-art-being-baboon/2

illicit:
oh my.....!
funniest thing I ever read this week

Richy4:

MizJaY:
sorry for d long message but this lockdown period might favour reading long msgs. I'm d quiet type so I have never open mouth to insult my husband during any misunderstanding. just arguments and my voice may go up a bit trying to explain or clear myself but he will start saying im raising my voice and talking back at him and start saying all sort of things, honestly sometimes I wished I could unleash d anger deep down and screammm but I always have self control. if u sit with him, he will give u a million reasons why I'm not a good wife and if u don't know me well, u will fall for it because he tells it so well. I will not say everything he says is false, but 80% is. Only those that really know me, will know he is d one dat has problem he's too difficult at times. In an office, there's usually that one person that quarrels with everyone am I right? But I end up being d only person that dat person doesn't quarrel with cos I try as much as possible to avoid quarrels that's just d kind of person i am. Calm n quiet. When I met my husband nysc days, he was very close to God, organizing programs in church and handling them. That was d main reason I got close to him cos i wasnt so spiritual and needed someone to help me grow spiritually thru life. He told me he was called to be a pastor and that excited me but im not seeing that now lol. He's spiritual life is almost zero. And back then, he had nothing, we would spend all my money even to reach he's sick mother in d village i would buy all d foodstuff to send to her, d way he talked he sounded promising that things will get better with him, but today, I still suffer, I have no savings, all my salary is on d house. He works too and earns but he's salary cover rent and d children's school fees finished. I do d rest but he doesn't appreciate d fact that i sacrifice everything I earn to feeding d house we are family of 6. Everything provision, food, children school snack, fuel for car n gen gas filing etc etc it's me. And that's how my whole salary will just go fiam, if I ws getting a little appreciation I for no mind but rather i get insult o. It's my fault that
Money is finished, it's my fault that we have no savings, I don't know how to manage money, I'm hoarding my money etc etc those are d words that come out of his mouth o � I used to be a beautiful woman but no more, I wear one shoe everyday to work, can't buy myself clothes shoes nothing I had to cut my hair to relieve myself from hair money lol. I'm stressed out thinking of where money will come for feeding when my salary gets finished before month end at times I have to beg my sister or my dad a pensioner or hussle one way or d other. I now developed high bp and today I'm living with hypertension taking drugs everyday. It was my parents that gave my husband d job he's doing today. He is not in talking terms with he's dad n siblings. Before he's mother died, things were not too good between them. My husband likes to always form man of d house and want me to apologise whenever there's a misunderstanding saying that I am d one wrong, I'm always wondering how am always d one wrong and he's not � every time, sometimes self I don't know what I did that mks him angry he will just start carrying face. Today makes it a week we are not talking cos he has been carrying face since 7days now, and went to post something on wassap yesterday that a woman that cannot apologise to her husband cannot stay in marriage. My brothers and sisters if I know of anything I did that I have to apologise for yet I refused to apologise that is making him carry face, may God strike me. If u know I did anything wrong why not come to me and tell me u don't like what I did and tell me what i did rather than carry face up n down. He always does that. At times I do ask him and as usual am always d one at fault. Maybe it's cos I'm a quiet person he's taking me for mumu. D national anthem now is that because he does not have money that's why I don't respect him the way I'm supposed to. Im always careful with my word when gisting with him cos make I make mistake say Donald duke is d current governor of rivers state haaa problem don enter and it may spoil d sweet gisting we were having. He go almost insult me and become uninterested in gisting with me again cos i don talk mumu talk. So how can I handle such man cos if no be say I be quiet person, I for don receive serious beating black and blue from this man cos he has done it earlier on in our marriage not serious beating sha but I had some bruises. If not that my parents are still alive and warn him. Tho he still attempt once a blue moon I go jus arrange myself. But I'm kind of tired. I have no money cos trust me, if I had, Maybe i for don dey plan my move sef I no dey enjoy marriage life at all

nuelyoyo:
And on April 29 he caught his dad fvcking thier landlady. To think I wasted my time commenting on this thread. It seems the OP post stories from other social media platforms or what he watched in movies on NL. Smhaykins is a joke.

Mrstoned:
To say I have gained nothing from the follow up comments is to say the least,bravos to everyone that has commented one thing or other,I will add up some few things learnt now and find peace within me.
Also,she added a caveat when she said it,that maybe later the love can grow and come back to her heart. Though I must add this,for few days I've been full of attitudes towards her;one word answers kind of,and I started coming back home late.I expected her to subtly find out what's come over me,only for her to drop the msg.Going forward I will be fine.Thanks all

Mrstoned:
Well,even if I cheat,she can't ever know,meanwhile,I have cheated b4,but none I can rem in more than 2 years or more. I have always been all hers for years

semiyink:
my mother inlaw set a trap for me twice I discover where I pray

Souqwaqif:
Alright go through this:

Goodmorning all, I will try to make it very brief. This lady has tried and needs urgent counselling.
She seems to be the breadwinner of the family while her husband while a way with I don't care attitude,such as not providing feeding allowances, coming home very late at night often,with no good reasons,not picking calls when he travels to his village for days, chatting side chicks which has been confirmed on several occasions,leaving house rent almost completely for his wife to pay,not allowing his wife siblings to spend the night in his house but his own relations will do,not bothered about the wife health challenges and her concerns to make peace.
Recently the wife family members had a meeting with him to resolve differences but after a while he continued again and this is virtually affecting all areas of the family psychology and mental health even spiritual. The last attempt she made was to contact the wife family relations and they called him on phone,but he was rather speaking old issues that has been resolved concerning his wife bringing her relations to the house.

Please what is best counsel out there we can give this relation of mine,remember she has tried prayers and still praying, she has contacted a few family members of her husband but they are all in support of the man.

Your input is appreciated for sake of peace

Generalnomercy:
We're you the one who hurt her?

What prevents the woman from telling her husband her problems?

She's obviously cheating. I hope you're not like her?

Mrstoned:
I am just curious to know the effects and implications that one can expect from what my wife of 10years said to me this morning.My wife told me as I was about to make love to her that,she doesn't love me again,meanwhile, I was sucking the breasts when the bombshell dropped,I went ahead to remove her cloths and went down to do the normal duty.But I have been cold to her afterwards,cos I kind of feel strange presently, I don't want the cascading effect of her words to gofar,I might not forgive her.

So if I may ask,is it possible she was pulling my legs,also considering she has never said something like that before,even at times of difficult and problematic issues.

Needy19:
Definitely, I've wanted to do dis long time ago, but got no medium to do soo here at nigeria, am advertising my s*x business here on Nairaland, am a male young nd vibrant gigolo, if interested, u can send me an email message, am at lagos, itz very affordable!

MZrapper:
Thanks so much

I die here.

MZrapper:
Who can help me with the link to the part one please.

Smhaykins:
Hello peeps,

Please advice.

I stay with my sister, they av a 3 bedroom apartments. And I stay in one of d room because z closer to my office and I go to my house on weekends.

But since I moved in, I observed dat her husband always beat her.. I don't know if he just started or he has been doing dat before...because my sister has never complained to us.

Though, if not dat I leave with dem, I will advice every lady to pray for dat kind of guy...cos he z so caring, Av time for his family, comes home early, religious, doesn't smoke nor drink. Most times do d cooking if he comes home before my sister.

We r a bit close, cos z a cr7 fan, n we go to viewing center to watch champions league together, ( he prefers viewing centre Dan watching at home).

When I tried to discuss the issue of him beating my sister with him, he was so angry, and he replied dat z not my fault, dats y dey don't want a third party in der ouse cos ppu will never mind der business.

I also tried talking to my sister, she said do I want her to pack out of her husband ouse or wat do I want her to do if av not gotten another husband for her. Dat every marriage has issues. N she warned me not to tell our parents.

Actually, z not always a serz beating, may be a slap or two, den my sister will lock his shirt n dey will start abusing each other...after some minutes dey will enter d room n by d time dey come out z always settled. Most times I will just hear d sound of d slap in my room, by d tym I rush out out, my sister wud av locked his shirt n dey will start abusing each other. When I try to intervene or settle it. The two of dem will tell me to leave dem alone dat dey will settle it. But I feel bad whenever it happens cos I will feel guilty for not speaking out if domestic violence leads to my sister's death someday.

Please advice if I shud report to our parents or not.

placeofallure:
AprokoNigeriaLimited, You want updates? My friend is still going out with the lady. Nothing has changed. The wife , according to him, is still denying him. Infact, he said he doesn't ask anymore. He has travelled to his home town to inform the dad about the new lady. They will get an apartment and move in together soon.. that's as far as I know.