₦airaland Forum

djon78:
Women have higher tendency of being in love or falling in love more than men.
In fact they easier fall in love that's why the Bible was silent on them loving there husbands.

But men have higher tendency of not giving in to love emotions so that's why bible commanded to love.

A relationship works better when a woman loves more but neglecting that love can lead to catastrophe. Many men prefer that situation but they use it to maltreat and neglect there woman. Which leads to scenario like this topic.

We men look at these things from our own selfish position.
You marry a woman that loves you more but at the other hand still maltreat and mess up her life because she loves you more. And this is exactly the case with many Nigerian homes. Many women are in regret.

That's why many of these modern ones go for ready made men. Especially the younger ones in there 20s. They trade off there young freshness for a ready made man. At least she knows what she is getting.

The ideal relationship is when a man loves very much more.

That why, the woman would submit effortlessly to him and there would be no drama.

Him loving her more also means he is looking out for her interests as she is looking out for his.

A woman doing the loving and submission is a recipe for disaster.

Which is what occurs in the world today.

Popebliss:
Pathetic as your mother's case may sound, l'll tell you straight up, you aren't alone in this fight. But it's late now trying to drive some sense into your dad's head, as the undesirable attitude he has, can't be unlearned again after many years of being overlooked by your mom[b] (Most of our mothers failed to force our fathers to be responsible early enough, something most of the new breed wives don't joke with, hence ,they're reaping good results)[/b] . Your mom's life is precious, so do all you can with your siblings to take good care of your mother, if possible ,take her somewhere your father won't be able to reach her let alone compound her woes. Good luck!

Hahahahahahahaha?!

The bold is very funny.

Evercurious:
Maybe her siblings cautioned her earlier. But she didnt listen and so they have left her to her fate . And they did just the right thing.. Maybe she wants to learn the hard way

I believe at this stage, the siblings should step in if she lets them to.

But the wasted years......

Ytea:
The choice of who to marry isn't beans

I like the lesson you learnt.

Dpharisee:
Stop quoting all the topic as if you are inconsiderate

Nor vex

deleSayo:
@Seun thank you for looking into this thread.

I'm also a victim of this. Your power-hungry, power-drunk moderators are very biased and wicked. they clearly have favourites. Justwise has logged in now and has started banning people who exposed him. Please do something sir. Put an end to this despotism!

Justwise is particularly known for banning people for up to 2 years simply for having opposing views to him. while Mynd44 is an unapologetic enabler of family section bullies just like ishilove used to be when she was a mod.

Now is our opportunity to air out the injustice we've suffered on this forum. Please hear our cry sir.

HarunaWest, emmaodet, Benevento, Lekan239, Sundrus, Hathor5, Venusman, sisisioge, lonelygem, dammypat, Kenwood007, Hed0nist, ibkayee, Acidosis, catwalq, Richy4, andyanders, youwanbanme, Sterope, Thegamingorca, femi4, OlawaleBammie, bukatyne, desvi, galadima77, peacefulhome, urchcoded, veave, Twoclans, nickvanilla, sassysure, djon78, rex444, Kingarthur21, SweetCunt97, NextD18, bluebay, Stewart883, benjida, adelegan1, AFONAMARO. Rawhumper, LilMissFavvy, eyinjuege, Friend22, merahki, darknez, kapelvej, Nooil, ednut1, worworbabe.

If any of you have been victims, please speak up now! Seun is on this thread.

Interesting thread.

Now, I cannot accuse anyone of having the mods under their 'thumb' or numbers or whatever.

However, there is an irritating practice of alternate monikers springing up to 'gang up' on a moniker they do not agree with his/her message.

Perhaps the Mods feel it is OK so let it continue.

Why these monikers are not confident enough to use their main monikers beats me.

I believe that Nairaland should be a platform where people can interact respectfully and intelligently and we can learn from one another.

It was on NL I understood the concept of stay-at-home mothers and polygamy in Islam because I was open minded.

The registered users are increasing: let the engagements be increasingly intelligent and let everyone be mature enough to overlook or respectfully engage different opinions.

Poorboy:
in money ritual it's the valuable person in your life that they want.

So they won't need the father rather his beloved mother or siblings.

Hahahahahahahaha

Lekan239:
yes this is my next plan of action thanks

God help you and give you the wisdom to navigate the issue.

I hope you and your siblings are learning the kind of spouses to be/ to have.

arinze198:
Source: https://pmexpressng.com/i-was-a-painter-but-robbery-paid-better-suspect-confesses/

So he decided to paint the town red.

Femsyn:
This is a very typical story of many Nigerian homes. Later in the man's old age, when children and wife ignore and treat him like trash, one stranger, in the name of a fiance, who has no idea of their history, will become judgmental and share blames.

Another uncle will encourage other women to endure abuse, just because his own mother barely survived a marriage with an egotistical and insensitive man.

How you treat this man later is completely up to you and your siblings, as we all have different tolerance levels, and no one has any right to question your decision. Good or bad. However, I will suggest not to pay evil with evil, as these people have a way of getting hooked in our conscience, especially after they die.

In cases like this, I wonder if women deny their own families, as soon as they get married.

OP, where are your uncles, aunties and grandparents?

Hmmmmmm.

Very correct.

Lekan239:
yes she said she can't leave my sister alone in ph who has been staying with her pastor for over 16years now. But I did not see that as a valid reason because the said girl will be through with her university education this year. I tell my mom she is old enough to take care of herself. But she won't listen

Maybe you NEED to engage her very very well.

A 23yr old girl is NOT a baby and can take good care of herself.

The truth is that UNTIL your mom is 'ready' to get on her feet and say no more, you will keep swimming against the tide and you will later feel very betrayed when she forgets all your efforts and goes back to your dad.

Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's has if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seized to exit, this I need advice on from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born(1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only come back home(Lagos) ones a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad,it wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he don't drink nor smoke but he lavish all his money outside and Care less about his family. My mom strive and engage in little business which we managed to survive on, my dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately. So 2010 I left pH to the village,w writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses, 2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH my mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeat same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advise my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering. Today this morning my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying do my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumble upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too. Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction it hurt me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who don't care nor love are even at her sick bed,he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

What of your mother's siblings?

And have you engaged her why she keeps putting up with your dad? I think you need that answer to intelligently take a step.

.

Alcapodetuti:
Is it because she doesn't possess the mentality of cultural enslavement? She was brought up in a society where everyone dignity is respected.

Is she not foolish to leave the men brought out in her respectful society to marry a Nigerian Traditional ruler and expect to be treated differently?

A typical Nigerian girl will do Ned Nwoko sef before a cultural King half his age. Instead of you to reach out the Alaafin of Oyo's pepper them wife on how they worked things out, you are wailing here.

Where did she think the king saw all the money he was lavishing on her before?

When will women like this have sense?

Richy4:

She should have said that's not what I meant...

After the 2nd wife has landed?

TonyeBarcanista:
Bukky abeg o

I will thinks about it.

Lionessza6:
Not everyone who is around you will be as straight up with you as you are with them.

There will be people that will use your loyalty & protective nature against you,even the people you care about.

1. You can lead from behind.

Your energy and drive might intimidate others; but dont ever forget that these are your biggest strengths.

Being chaotic is not necessarily a bad trait.

Dont feel guilty about getting over things & people quickly .

2.Being rebellious doesn't make you smart or a special breed.

1 & 2 fantastic!

You know, after studying the Bible more, is realized that most of the people we pray to be like were never the ones on 'top' e.g. Joesph, David before he became King, Daniel, Esther (not such a fan sha ), Joshua & Caleb, Samuel, Nehemiah, Ezra, etc. etc.

Raalsalghul:
Jokers!

Tomorrow, you folks will advise a man earning 30k a month to get hitched and start small.

You even go as far as to remind how time is passing: how he'll spend his old age lonely.

Abi una know know say na like that e dey start?

In a failed state like Nigeria, abortion/birth control/family planning should be preached aggressively.

Those who fail to comply should serve prison sentences.

Earning N30k is not the issue.

If a couple earns N30k and have one or two kids, they will get back depending on where they reside.

Problem is when N30k decides to have 10 children because any one can be a president or prime minister.

Besides, someone can be earning N200k today and lose his job tomorrow.

Some others earned well and illness came and swept all their fortune away.

Some of these parents are not even doing badly: they just expect their children to be retired plans or they want to reap their labour on their kids.

sassysure:
Hahahaaa
Pay money

It was after giving birth and she thought I had vj delivery so she brought the stuff for me to use and then gave me this to drink. I only know two things inside date palm and tiger nut. The rest I don't know.
Did I use them, would have loved to but I forgot it in my friends house before going back to my base( lived in Lagos but usually deliver in Abuja.stayed in my friends house) but from.the female drs to nurses to all the ladies swore that they will speed up my sexual energy really fast

Those Hausa women ehn!

Heard there is something they put in their food not to be fat.

The rich ones are very exotic from afar sha.

sassysure:
It's a man's world out there you know.

Left to the ladies, they don't want to share.
And educated ladies( fulanis, kanuris etc) don't wanna share. Agreements are reached and signed that u will not marry another wife between families especially the wealthy.

U don't expect Buhari daughter to have a co wife

@bold:

One time on NL, the muslim guys were guilt tripping their ladies not to sign a pre-nup of no polygamy as Allah's will (polygamy) should be done.

Awon scammers aye!

You know their polygamy is only allowed if the man can love all the wives equally and be fair to them. So the very rich ones buy same thing for all the wives.

Buhari's daughter ko wife ke? Did you see her wearing their hijab and stuff?

I don't see her SILs wearing hijab either.

@man's world:

Not really.

I would however say the quality of life a woman lives is very much dependent on the men in her life (father & husband).

sassysure:
Go to the north, it's normal for them.
That is their religion and culture.
Some wives recommend their best friends.


Still better than our case where the best friend will go behind you and nyansh your husband and marry him if possible while u become a divorcee

My mom told me that during their mothers' time, the women used to be taunted for wanting to be only wives.

TonyeBarcanista:
Never you campaign for Buhari again

Hahahahahahahaha

We are supposed to line you guys up and give you 12 strokes of the cane or one big portion of grass to clear.

Iyawo buruku se Fe, Ana buruku ko she ni.

It is better to have a bad wife than have bad in-laws.

Goes both ways.

Oro buruku toun terin.

rano1:
By Philip Obaji Jr.



Source:https://www.aljazeera.com/indepth/features/survivors-nigeria-baby-factories-share-stories-200420091556574.html

Ideally, people from IDP camps should stay there for a while till the Govt rebuilds their communities and they are released to become productive again.

These baby factories need more stringent punishment like death as a deterrent.

I pray for healing for those girls. To be raped, gotten pregnant and watch your kids sold is just plain evil.

Nobody knows the amount of girls who die for pregnancy related complications in those mad houses.

I believe the victims should also speak up so their community people are abreast of the updated format the evil ones are using.

Glad to see the girls make something good for themselves and not wallow in self-pity.

uruba23:
Me I haven't seen any evidence in what he wrote just guilty conscience. A woman saying i love you more does not connote cheating for it could be a distant relative...but what is my own i just too a twenty minute nap and saw my red yellow efiko girlfriend with a guy solving some problem for him then two yeye girls who are partially nake came to distract me by jumping around during a fasting period i woke up from the dream wondering what the interpretation means then i saw this...biko i can't be guilty jare like the OP neither do i start suspecting my red yellow hopefully green girlfriend.

:


Red yellow Hopefully green girlfriend.

If not that green entered the equation, I thought it was red palm oil.

So I was wondering if you were yam!

sassysure:
Hahaaaa

Where is miswisdom?
Can u see what I told you

Corona pls ease so we will face real life.

The male monikers will list all their faults and still wonder at the wives' reactions:

1. I don't bath,slump all day in front of the TV and have bad breath: I don't know why my wife refuses sex. He goes to bed by 3am on a work day o'

2. I flirt, cheat, stay out all night and jobless. I don't know why my wife is 'disrespectful' or a 'nag'.

3. I cheat on my wife and feel betrayed my wife does same.

The female monikers are pristine married to demons:

1. My husband suddenly changed, he doesn't talk to me anymore

2. My husband just wakes up and beats me

3. My husband keeps malice even though I don't say anything.

At this rate, keep us entertained.

Plead:
You don spoil

Toor.

uruba23:
It is monday comeback in the evening the elders would be avaliable.

He wants to book slot down na.

@sassysure:

The counter of the raped virgin thread

Plead:
How did you know about codedruns?

Don't get ahead of yourself

Nairaland has buzzwords; one time, it was CodedRuns.

sassysure:


Givers never lack zion ministry

Sister Sassysure the lead choirster.