₦airaland Forum

crackkhaus:
Leave Ada with her people

Toor.

placeofallure:
Thanks, I appreciate.

Madam, this thread is a year plus.

Please give us updates.

What happened?

semade8076:
straight to the story.
my wife is from akwa ibom and in her mid twenties . . well, before we got married, i'd rate the sex 90%
but now we married, two kids, i'd rate it 15%
its a "tale" that women from that region always go the extra mile, maybe she did during the relationship
but marriage has been different, and she feels those stuffs done during "single-ship", for lack of a better word
are "b1tchy" [in her own words]
need ur views.

Wait, she decided to change the way she sleeps with you after marriage because she thinks it is bltchy?

Why does she think it is bitchy?

That is the first step.

blinkz4real:
Let us hear from the man's side cos u women can paint story 2 suit yourself.

I suspect the man left the chores to her because she was the one dt orchestrated her moving out of the house.

After God fear women!

@bold:

Even when the OP told us what made the nanny leave?

traihit:
It's all about creating a balance. All things being equal, no one gets envious or jealous without feeling threatened. It's the fear that makes an individual jealous. E.g my friend or partner may stop communicating with me because they're doing better than I am and they may leave me. So in reaction to that, I start getting jealous. When two of you are going on the streets and you see one admired while you're not, you start feeling you may be abandoned and so envy and jealousy creep in. That is why it's better one gets closer to people of his calibre and if they step ahead, it's either you also move up or you reduce your presence around them.

You have got a nice signature

LordKO:
No, a male child is not overrated. Of course, a female child is equal to a male child and reasonableness doesn't know gender.

Truth, however, is that you and all the males around you are unreasonable, citing your own confession - stop using your group as a standard for every other male.

ScotMisile:
Well, I read the story on Facebook. The man never in anyway put your family in a bad light. He never called you evil neither did he tell anyone you are responsible for his woes.
But,you are just an extremely wicked girl from a very poor background ready to supply sex to anyone ready to liberate your family.
How can you attack a man who never attacked you??....
That's why I can never date a girl from a poor background....they are more dangerous than deep sea creatures....
That man is broken and looking for a way apologized to his wife and you are here destroying a man who is already down.....can you return his shop? And other things?
Crazy golddigger like you.

Story is on Facebook?

Sassysure, we have gone global

crackkhaus:

The energy Ada used to relate this story to the OP, I would have used it to move on from all of them.

crackkhaus:
Na wah..

Keeping up with Ada
https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/dsb1.gif

Hahahahahahaha.

The day Ada can't accommodate the madness around her anymore, she knows what to do.

8 children?!

Thank God for helpers.

I thought this same story has made rounds in other versions.

gypsey:
Absolutely! it is totally wrong how are been treated

So sad.

Although I think a lot of companies would go same route or reduce the amount of leave days.

Have the employees been working remotely?

If yes, this is nonsense.

If no, the company is been 'smart'. What I find obnoxious is that they want to reduce salaries for people who have exceeded their annual leave.

There is a reason events like pandemics are force majeur.

Nobody plans nor foresees them.

neonly:
Only a mumu will still of staying in d same house with dat kind of person
U won't see all dis feminist typing now but if it was d opposite nairaland for don fail from heaven

Chillax, the story has been recycled hundreds of times.

The part two is coming out soon.

drmikeadams:
Them no get case at all...people will learn d hard way with these pastors

Most Nigerians are mentally lazy and can't/won't think for themselves.

Tell them to be careful, it will turn to 'don't touch the anointed of God', 'it is only God that can judge His prophet', 'the man of God is only answerable to God' bla bla.

How can a woman sell a plot of land because she has financial issues and give 80% to the pastor?

Even God asks for 10% to run the Church and feed the priests there (which is not even how it is today. And totally different discussion).

sassysure:
Have to create my own story too.
Seems people are cashing out here seriously .


Didn't read the first story.
This one is yuk.

Oya na.

Singleness is not a blessing, marriage is.

You 'attain' marriage because your natural state is 'singleness'.

Frenemies: the most dangerous person to a man.

Smhaykins:
Hello peeps,

Please advice.

I stay with my sister, they av a 3 bedroom apartments. And I stay in one of d room because z closer to my office and I go to my house on weekends.

But since I moved in, I observed dat her husband always beat her.. I don't know if he just started or he has been doing dat before...because my sister has never complained to us.

Though, if not dat I leave with dem, I will advice every lady to pray for dat kind of guy...cos he z so caring, Av time for his family, comes home early, religious, doesn't smoke nor drink. Most times do d cooking if he comes home before my sister.

We r a bit close, cos z a cr7 fan, n we go to viewing center to watch champions league together, ( he prefers viewing centre Dan watching at home).

When I tried to discuss the issue of him beating my sister with him, he was so angry, and he replied dat z not my fault, dats y dey don't want a third party in der ouse cos ppu will never mind der business.

I also tried talking to my sister, she said do I want her to pack out of her husband ouse or wat do I want her to do if av not gotten another husband for her. Dat every marriage has issues. N she warned me not to tell our parents.

Actually, z not always a serz beating, may be a slap or two, den my sister will lock his shirt n dey will start abusing each other...after some minutes dey will enter d room n by d time dey come out z always settled. Most times I will just hear d sound of d slap in my room, by d tym I rush out out, my sister wud av locked his shirt n dey will start abusing each other. When I try to intervene or settle it. The two of dem will tell me to leave dem alone dat dey will settle it. But I feel bad whenever it happens cos I will feel guilty for not speaking out if domestic violence leads to my sister's death someday.

Please advice if I shud report to our parents or not.

@bold:

This is not 'domestic violence', it is two 'fighting'.

You told us that outside the slap and shirt grabbing before she starts to rain abused on him, they are a good couple.

I see that they have a terrible conflict resolution skill which they will pass on to their kids if they do not wean themselves of that nonsense.

Ask your sister's husband why he slaps her. Not as an accusation: you can whine him that you admire the man he is apart from the slap. He should be able to tell you and you relay the feedback to your sister.

Also engage not accuse your sister why she locks his shirt and abuses him. Also pass on the information to the husband.

Then you can have a joint session with them in a polite manner.

You can even muster up some tears if possible.

Goodluck

eboniest:
My fellow nairalanders, listen to my story
It happened about 7years ago.My mum attended a certain on man's church and the church happened to be owned by a family friend. My mum served with all her heart in this church even though my dad is late.. During this time,we were struggling to survive as nothing was moving atall for my family.After a while this man advised my mum to sell her only land property she had in order for her to start something.She and the man went together to sell the land not knowing this man has some mischievous plan.After it was sold for 4.3m, unknowing to me ,my mum gave this man 3.5m out of it saying that she used to sow a seed in the church and she had only 800k to herself..After covering some few expences like payment of school fees for me and my younger ones cause I was still in high institution that time,then paying of house rent and starting of a little buisness, she complained that the money has finished and she has been back to square one since then and she never opened up that she gave this man that some of money until yesterday that she opened up to us.. l have been very furious since yesterday cause she has been struggling since then with no money or family to rely on cause she's a widow and this said man has relocated his church to Abuja..So am seeking for advice, what can I do in this situation to collect the money back .
Thanks..

How did the pastor dupe your mother

I even thought she was not paid for the land or something else.

Your mom, an adult decides to 'sow' about 80% of a transaction to her pastor and you call it dupe?

Miszflavour:
My phone was down yesterday and when I charged it late this night and decided to Browse and boom...I came across a story that look like mine. I wonder if he thought I wouldn't see it or what?
Yes we live on the same street!
When he was building his house my mum worked for him as a labourer and me and my younger brother used to run around his car anytime he came to supervise. He used to give us snacks and money. My mum was selling few drinks and pure water to the other labourers on the site while still worked daily with them. All this for us to go to school. I was then in JSS3 . This man show interest in our family when he heard my dad was late and no one was taking care of us.
My mum trusted him alot, sometimes when he came around my mum will cook for everyone including him to eat. He always dash her money. He later stopped my mum from working at the site but gave her 20k to buy more drinks and be selling.my mum business started growing fast during that period. Me and my younger brother resumed school. By the time am through with my JSS3 long vacation and entered ss1 ,this man has already completed his duplex but they never moved in.
We use to fetch water in that house because he gave my mum the gate key for her to be cleaning the compound,with 10k per month but he gave her xtra money for upkeep out of his own generosity.
Sir,I know you will be reading this,am sorry that it has to come to this open confession but I have no choice than to clear my family names.
Sir ,do you remember when I told you about my SSCE waec results on phone , you payed for it so you deserve to know my results. You told me you will be coming to the site soon that you're planning to relocate your family there,so you want to rush some things to be in order?
You came that day,my mum cooked for you and asked me to bring the food along to your house. After showing you my excellent results,you promised to send me through higher institution. I told you am going home so you asked me to follow you upstairs to see how you have furnished your master bedroom...you locked the door... You forcefully had sex with me ...twice in a roll...you raped me and took away my virginity�
You promised me heaven and earth to not tell my mum. Ofcos,I couldn't bring myself to tell my mum because she idolize you,you are her angel sent from above if you don't know.
Your family moved in,you got me an admission,paid everything and always lavishing money on me and my family,which we are forever grateful for.
You never gave me a breathing space while in school. You always come around ,sex me till you satisfied your urges. I never knew what was going on in your marriage untill when I came back from camp and your wife called me to curse me on phone,you were also there with me and I put the phone on speaker. What happened after then I do not know. You left my place out of annoyance is all I knew.
Meanwhile,you gave me a surprised gift of a baby shop,filled up with foreign goods as my graduation gift. How would I know that it belong to your wife?
Immediately I got admission was when you opened a provision shop for my mum. We are all grateful for whatever you have done for us but please do not make my family look like a bad person we are not .

I have never for once denied you of sex because I know how much you love and enjoyed sex. I always made sure you're satisfied.
You always wanted to marry me,but I can't just be your second wife,and besides, check our age gap...is too much.
Meanwhile,the guy am pregnant for is who I love and he love me too with the little he had. We both went to school together,he knows about you and everything about us.All your threats won't work on us.
Is not my fault that you abandon your wife!
Is not my fault that you've lost your business!
Is not my fault that you're madly in love with an innocent girl like me!
So please ,stop putting all the blames on me and my family. My mother did not know we had an affair up till today,and do not force me to tell her everything because,you will be doomed.
Respect yourself and let me be. Just forget about me and focus on your family.
#jugdeMeNot

You are the ex-side chic in the other story?

The OP did not blame you na: he came to ask how he can win his wife back.

Before the story got to front page, most people doubted the story and/or blamed him. Nobody saw you in the story so I do not see the need for this thread.

So you were sleeping with OP and sleeping with your 'boyfriend' in love with a girl sleeping with a married man?

Too messy and tacky my dear.

I am wondering, at the point you knew you couldn't marry the OP due to the age gap, you should have cut ties with him.

Your claim to victim hood ended when you did not report the rape and instead started an affair with him so he could put you through school.

Since you are no longer interested in the OP, return the shop aka graduation gift to the OP's wife and ask for her forgiveness.

Use your story as a lesson to your daughters that there is no free lunch in Freetown.

Rozz:
im fine.old enough or not,maybe your last time tackles still ring in my head

Awwwwww.

Good to know I impacted you in some way.

LordKO:
You know say as you dey wise, anybody wey call you "ma" no make mistake, whether or not you old for age. Mama de mama! Lol.

Then we go dey hail you Oga sir be that.

phorget:
Sure he'll need to win the kids back but the easiest way would be to go still through their mother.
When the father and the mother are happy together then the kids would be good.

Not in a case like this.

funmisticqueen2:
Yes I do. How do I train my daughter to be feminine, respect everyone learn to enforce boundaries, to know how to say no to inappropriate behavior and to learn to protect herself from maniputors and predators.

Good one.

Chidonc:
Imagine collecting the keys to your wife shop and handing it over to your side chick

Things dey happen.

Mubbyleey:
You earned yourself a follower because of your high intellectual topics & posts bukatyne... I can see that you really understand yourself & you understand human nature. I could deduce that you're a very realistic person. I like realist a lot because they have the ability to see things from different perspectives & also because I'm too.

Consider yourself among the lucky ones...
Have a nice day!!!

I should consider myself one of the lucky ones you follow?

Considered.

So where is my goody bag?

Thank you for the compliments.

The story has morals to be learnt:

1. A husband and wife are one. That oneness should reflect in everything that concerns them.

2. The couple should plan together: N60k is coming to the house and allocate resources to each venture.

3. In an ideal situation, a wife must know what 'sacrifices' her husband undergoes to 'put food' on the table. I know this is African Magic scenario and willing to play with you. In the real world, men & women work to feed their families.

4. Communication: if the wife felt N30k out of N60k (50%) (considering she doesn't pay anything else) was too small for upkeep, she should have discussed with her husband. And present facts why the money was not enough monthly.

Thank you for the lessons.

I think you mean someone that lacks initiative and can't think through assigned tasks.

Because if you do, you will make mistakes
along the way.

There must also be a balance of people pleasing versus seeking pleasure with a conscience. This can be muddled into self-love and healthy self-esteem.

It is good to be good.

Richy4:
I just have a question for you... Where did you hear all these? Are u a social worker? Or u witnessed it first hand..

I have noticed that most stories making around nowadays on social media/ online are just friction and fabricated just to make people talk / traffic..

I know the people involved.

Most of those women are docile and carrying their 'crosses' because they saw the signs and still married the husbands.

Some of these women are doing well as in well.

That's why I say earning is not really an anecdote to domestic abuse.

I knew the Registrar of a university that was catering for her husband and chopping beating on top.

emmaodet:
oooohhhhhhhhhh Arizaaaaaaaaaaaaa
You see? you know why i missed you when you deactivated your former moniker?
You are always neutral or see things from both ways and i appreciate that and you are mostly likely not to have it easy with your gender because they may feel you are biased. Likewise bukatyne, she gets roasted regularly from her gender.
For me, even though i may be emotional sometimes, i still like and share ladies comments that i find reasonable even when it's against men BUT the truth.

Hahahahahahaha @ roasted.

funmisticqueen2:
you are absolutely right. If you try to change the narrative, you are called a bitter feminist.


Men will obfuscate, bully and fight you with everything they've got to maintain the privilege patriarchy gifts them.

Part of the blame falls on us women too?

How do we train our sons, to be strong, visionary, ambitious, leaders and men, and also train them to respect women without being exploited by them?

How do we walk this fine line?

May enlightenment and the will to act fall on us all.

@bold:

Funny.

Why are you concerned about your sons being exploited by women if they are gentlemanly?

Do you have such concerns for your daughters too?

Ishilove:
Don't ask me why. My best guess is that it has something to do with the way Nigerian women themselves were raised. Or embedded deep inside the limbic brain where the red neck lizard lies doing pressups while the female lizard arches her back.

The Dog Faced Baboon and his Harem.

It takes a level of maturity (no correlation with age), it takes a level of empathy, it takes a degree self control, it takes self awareness, it takes honor, it takes patience, it takes tolerance, it takes money and a lot of the time it takes a lot of gullibility to treat your average Nigerian woman with respect.

Those who do it are those enlightened enough to enjoy the luxury of a conscience. To the vast majority it is a worthless proposition. A thankless labour. An expense of resources they cannot and need not afford.

I will tell you something that sounds even more twisted. Your average Nigerian woman will lose respect for you if you respect her or other women in her presence. She will quickly label you soft, woman wrapper, weak, gay, "this one wife go dey control am", "na man be this?", or just plain mugu.

The average Nigerian woman longs to be domesticated by her man.

So do not blame the men who became adept at the game you taught us. They are the Masters of the game you both play. If you don't like the game, don't play it. Make your own rules and stick by them. Be the change you desire.

The Truth shall set you Free.

https://m.facebook.com/1245261394/posts/10222562043060210/?from_close_friend=1&notif_id=1588090302088358&notif_t=close_friend_activity&ref=notif

I was going to type a long epistle before I saw this.

This author is apt and 100% on point.

Like I always say, the average Nigerian woman's marriage or relationship with men is what she makes of it.

Women use the phrase 'na im wife dey control am' even more than men.

Or the fact that the woman goes ahead to train her sons like the man she complains about?

Crazy lots, the men & the women.