₦airaland Forum

God will console those she left behind. What a tragedy.

Good evening NLers.

I was surprised when I learnt yesterday/Wednesday was the International Day of the Girl Child. I remember that March 8 is International Girls Day.... excluding the recurring mothers' day, women's day etc.

While it seems these recurring days to celebrate women are highlighting their importance and spurring them to aim higher, the boy child is left behind again.

Why again?

In the past, we have screamed that boys and by extension men were not taught how to treat/respect women and make their marriages work apart from footing the bills. I know how old RCCG women's fellowship is and when the men fellowship was birthed; I know the ratio of women programs in churches and mosques to men programs. We know how women were/are always admonished to keep their homes.

Yet we have just done same thing in different forms...

Several women empowerment programs; all sorts of educational boot camps for young ladies; grants and all sorts of funding for women businesses; skill acquisition programs for women etc.

Have we sat down to think that men make up 50% of the human race? Do we acknowledge that almost every woman apart from lesbians will be in intimate relationships with men?

DO WE ACKNOWLEGDE THAT WE NEED THE SUPPORT OF MEN TO EXCEL AS WOMEN?

Interestingly, men realized they needed the support of women and engineered them to provide that support. We women are behaving like we can do it alone which is why it seems progress is slow.

In Saudi Arabia that is draconian towards women, some men still taught their wives how to drive. Some men still supported their wives quest to be able to drive. Some men still reasoned with their leaders to lift the ban.

When you train your daughter to be all she can be without men who are trained in a corresponding manner, do you realize she will marry/mingle with that pool which will frustrate her efforts?

Imagine a high flyer married to a man who believes a woman's ambition should not be past a certain point.

For instance, we say there are few women presidents and CEOs...

Do you think it is because more are not interested in it?

How many men will support their wives to be presidents and CEOs? How many men are ready to pay the sacrifices that come with such and other similar positions?

We women need the men to support us 100% which would not happen until we stop over emphasizing the girl child and recognize her partner and support: the boy child.

How does a pregnant woman sleep with someone else?

How does a man sleep with a woman he did not pregnate?

How do people having affairs chat intimately while in other committed relationships?

Na wa.

Elder0001:
You're seeing his point from a different angle.

Nope, he said all she typed were conjectures hence the question.

Have I seen gender based disparity for same job and hours? No

Can I swear that it does not happen? No

Why? I have not worked everywhere.

The day someone told me that a company pays all employees cash (No matter the salary) because they dedicate it to their idols first, I was shocked.

Prior to then, I might be tempted to say it cannot happen because it doesn't make sense.

crackhaus:
All you have here are conjectures.

Name the companies.

Have you worked in all companies?

Brazenbabe:
There is a pay disparity between genders
It might not be apparent as much in the few multinationals but it is very evident in indigenous companies
The HR would offer a woman less even at the point of negotiation
It is assumed that the man has more dependents so will need more money
When you enter a department in an indigenous company, with a man and woman doing the same job, the man is paid more
Often times, if there is need for retrenchment, guess who is sacked first , regardless of qualification.
I mean, some companies don't even employ married women
Pay disparity among genders is very present. Even in the structured companies, it exists in their contract or 3rd party staff.

I have never experienced it however, I have not worked everywhere so I will not say it is 100% wrong.

@married women, I want to believe it depends on the job. A bank might not want to employ a married woman as a marketer because she might be able to do what is needed to market the bank; some other company might see that the role requires late hours and a married woman might not fit in; the role might be a role that requires high availability and they do not want story of my baby was sick.

For instance, would you advise a married woman to be a male boss' PA? If the man says he wants only men preferably single so they can move at shortest notice, is it bad?

Some companies tell newly married women not to get pregnant until a certain period etc. You don't want to pay for mat leave back to back neither do you want all your employees out on mat leave at same time.

@HR offering: You collect or reject na. I am sure that if you drill down, you would see that there is a difference somewhere.

I have been involved in a little recruitment and they look at for a looooooooot of things in addition to performance. They go as far as looks for some roles, proximity to the office, your surname etc.

Human resource planning is no joke.

crackhaus:
Most organizations usually have a well-defined pay structure that cuts across gender. If there's a situation where a woman is being paid less for doing the same job and working the same hours as her male colleagues, it's probably because the woman involved didn't do her homework before negotiating her salary in the first place.

@Bold,

Not true. The defined structure is only on paper.

However, the pay disparity is not based on size of breasts, it is based on certifications, who you know, where you are from, your family pedigree, your university, your last pay grade and good old packaging.

The girl has fish brain.

Eketem:
Co habbiting and civil partnership the difference is with civil partnership one can list the partner as next of kin in case of emergency and they can benefit from each other's health insurance, and have other legal rights a couple has without being married

What a joke.

Thanks.

pcguru1:
Government involvement and Legality the rest is just good ol shackling together

Except they are divorcing or doing anything with the government, they don't need the legality and involvement so it's all same.

Why would I move in with a guy without marriage?

merahki:
I am a woman, and I also prefer civil partnerships.
It is therefore not a man thing but a person thing I believe.
Some people are commitment-phobic, and in this case, when they are in love they can be in a union with all the benefits without feeling trapped
It is a thing of joy (for the said phobes )

Help me understand:

Does a marriage ceremony make you trapped?

What's stopping you from quitting a marriage if you so desire?

I understand a man/woman sleeping around because they do not want to be 'tied down' to anyone.

I do not get the rationale behind deliberately
moving in with a man, having kids with him, running the home etc. without marriage ceremony when we can do a civil rights with a token after doing the traditional rites.

I agree that the martial vows does not automatically make a good spouse or lover.

Now that civil partnership is recognized legally, aren't we deceiving ourselves?

crackhaus:
You're asking a question you already know the answer to.

Practically, there's obviously no difference.

Legally and religiously (for people like Ishilove), there's a big difference.

I wonder why any man should even get married when he has the option of a civil partnership.

Oh well.

Anyways, there is no difference between an adulterous/lying/stealing married partner and a co-habiting man/woman.

Seahawk:
I wonder too.

Maybe no rigorous divorce process when the couple wants to dissolve the partnership? No vows or rings or claims to monogamy (at least official monogamy). Wish I knew. Each to their own

It is well.

Something tells me that a Nigerian child won't try this.

You mentioned me on a duplicate thread.

You have to go back to the beginning....

Why was marriage instituted?

1. For companionship: your spouse is actually the only person you have a claim to. Every other person have other people first in their lives and are not mandated to prioritize you.

2. To guard against adultery and ensure sexual satisfaction : Sex is only acceptable within the confines of marriage.

3. For child birth: To produce and train godly children.

Now the above will be forever relevant hence marriage will always be relevant.

As per the working or roles in the marriage: they will evolve over time. Men are more open to doing things around the home because they realize they want their wives to make something of themselves which requires the sacrifice of time.

Besides, homes were usually bigger with domestic servants who do the chores. I remember in my village, younger ones went with their elder siblings after marriage to help them with chores and other stuff.

ednut1:
Rumour has it the babe is pregnant daughter hahahahah. Everything about this man ehn. Divorcee, jerry coil and now preg daughter

I don't think this is funny.

I don't attend his church nor do I even listen to him yet this is low.

Even if the girl is pregnant, they are doing the honorable thing and getting married.

It is one thing to train your kid, it is another that they follow. It is even possible they follow and one mistake messes them up.

I am sure this was him clowning..

Baawaa:
As a matter of fact,no good gospel music will be play at night club,Chris knows you are not singing gospel music

What do you know?

AntiWailer:
Selfish leaders


Dem no approve plenty marriages with the excuse of sisters focusing on the work of God.

Well the concerned aunties were foolish.

Kingosytex:
Happy married life to the young couple.


pastor chris is always looking cute

That's not Pastor Chris, that's daddy Sharon.

Mankosi:
I thought church people don't believe in traditional wedding that they only pay pride price to the bride's parents and then do church wedding. And why will they do traditional wedding before church wedding? Does it mean traditional wedding is more important than church wedding?

Yes.

Most churches need parental consent to join you.

What is the practical difference between marriage, civil partnership and cohabiting?

cruchenutii:
Well said Madame. For the first time you say the truth

For the first time?

Who's counting? Truth according to who?

Where is that meme of Odunlade slapping someone....

fulaniHERDSman:
You only live once. Cowards die a thousand times.
Better to die on your feet ... than to live cowardly on your knees.
Whatever the outcome, -ve or +ve ... AMBODE shall remain an ICON of War Against GOD FATHERISM.

Ambode is an icon of biting the fingers that fed him and betraying the system that made him.

For starters, who knew Ambode before same godfather Tinubu who is now evil imposed him on us? Was Ambode the most qualified then?

When he got in, why did he start destroying things he met on ground?

He packed up LAWMA (very efficient) and brought Visionscape. Fashola worked hard to clean Lagos up, Ambode removed that system and brought his that is clearly not working. See how dirty Lagos is now.

Even the toll gate increased in his time. Same as Land use charge and more taxes.

If he wanted to tear up Fashola's projects/ the 'master plan', he should have ensured that he brought in something better.

Ambode's problem is that he is greedy. He either determines to be clean (then his 'fight' against Tinubu will be applauded) or continue the chop I chop system that brought him into power.


I saw people hailing him as paying salaries on time. I have never known Lagos State to owe salaries.

Earthbound:
Correction. Arsenal FC wishes Iwobi.......

The fact they were thoughtful enough to remember is commendable.

I have never heard of another club going same.

benabbey:
For everybody that contributed to this discussion thanks so much, I think I am done carrying this cross, of abstentions in marriage.

I tried relocation to another state in the south west ondo state specifically and only visit my family one weekend in a month to reduce my sexual demand but alas madam is not ready to give it just for weekend if I managed to get once I should thank my star.

I think I am done with monogamy.

Hmmmm.

carammel:
I still don't know how people will choose not to vote a performer like Ambode simply because one greedy Tinubu says he is tired of him..mtcheeww.

Do you live in Lagos?

otokx:
Hope Ambode is not being persecuted for being a Christian?

Christian?

I dare say that Fashola was more Christlike.

Was it not same Tinubu that imposed him?

toyetade:
Our food are not ok. All our food are too high on carb. OP only very few of our food can be low carb. Amala and Okro is a good food low on carb. Look for wholemeal bread and mind the quantity you eat. Brown rice is ok if eaten in moderate quantity

Is it not same food our parents ate?

The problem is that we want to eat the way they ate without considering the activities of both generations.

If you eat right, you will be OK.

Benekruku:
Amala with fresh fish in one plate, and Saki, round-about, and liver in another plate, with another plate filled with soup soaked Ponmo


Make sure you dont introduce any other thing except water for drinking

For a person or a whole family?

Small amala, fresh fish and maybe one ponmo/saki/liver/roundabout is OK.

And water of course.

olajide21:
Hi all,
Time as come when i become conscious of what i eat, when i eat and how i eat. Rice, plantain, yam were my regulars and in above average servings.

To the well informed people in the house, is Rice and yam low carb diet? What are the other low carb food that i can eat that would not make me miss my regulars. I would appreciate anyone willing to give a certified advice.

Thank you in anticipation.

Except you have a medical condition restricting what you eat, all our foods are OK.

Just measure what you eat and reduce the oil. Also eat balanced diet. For instance, I have learnt to add vegetables to rice (runner beans, green peas and carrot) so it is not all carbs.

Beans is high carbs so don't always eat with garri, bread or rice.

Don't fry your meat, let fried meat be a treat at parties. If you can't stand boiled, grill or boil without water.

Don't heap swallow on a plate with oily soup full of shake, pumo, cow leg, roundabout etc. in the name of enjoyment.

Don't over cook your vegetables. Add it like 2mins before you turn off the heat.

Run away from fizzy drinks.

Good luck.