₦airaland Forum

UjSizzle:
I realised that men as much as they might try to deny it, have a lot of of problem with self esteem.
They are also so threatened by feminism that even when you are making an independent contribution based in personal opinions, they find a way to sneak feminism into the discuss.

I've spent the past few post on this thread and another, talking about preparing people for autonomy if the situation ever arises, and yet what I'm reading here is someone saying people should not be independent in relationships lol.

My children will learn to fend for themselves. And they will learn that relationships are partnerships....which ever way he and his woman decide to handle that is their business. But God help me if I won't feel like I've failed as a mother should his wife leave him someday (God forbid) and he's such a wreak and confused.

What we just have here are people who feel the need to validate their manhood and positions everytime. A boss knows he is a boss, and his woman knows he is too

@bolded:

Very true

JeffreyJamez:
All this old men shouting "weakness ""black man" and shii, abeg tell me what your "blackity" has achieved.... black men and black brain.



OP I feel you man.

LOL!

DailyNews:
Lol, the only things I am very certain men dream about is: fancy cars to drive, beautiful mansion to build, and businesses to own not how their future wife will be. The last thing on a man's dream is how his future wife will be; only jobless, broke and lonely guys think about a woman they haven't met! Men even fantasize more about dating super-gorgeous ladies more than they think about marriage or wife.

Like SirShymex rightfully said, women are more inclined to romantic and unrealistic life fantasies than men; men live by reality while women live by emotional fantasies and daydream...

I repeat: the only thing all men fantasize is fancy cars and money, nothing else. Any guy telling u otherwise is a liar or he's broke and unemployed and also lonely!!

No guy that's getting enough money and female attention will have time to start daydreaming about how his future wife will be...he can only come across ladies he admire and feel like taking them home, ladies stop being deceived by imaginary write-ups and go face reality.

And which girl self are u dreaming about- the girlfriend to one bad guy or the ex to one club addict Guy pls wake up from that daydream and go out there and hustle for a better future first!!!

No be only future wife, na future concubines

Meanwhile, some of the females hailing your daydreaming write-up are typing from their boyfriend's bed o...some are even with their 5th, 10th boyfriends and hailing u the real man, kai...women wicked

Is it not strange that you know how all men think or dream?

It is well o

eleojo23:
Some guy on this thread thinks it's unlike a 'black man' to write something like this. He thinks it shows weakness. Well, that's his philosophy and a warped one at that. I intentionally wrote this to 'upset' people like him. A real man is not afraid of showing and expressing his feelings.

Someone ( Yangki Christine) wrote this somewhere and I wish to repeat them here. Every person is born with qualities of the opposite energy (masculine AND feminine) within him or her— and not simply in the biological sense, but also in the psychosexual sense of attitudes, feelings, dreams and desires.
Men because of their biological make up express more of the masculine energy and women because of their biological make up express more of their feminine energies.

If a man or woman is well adjusted and harmoniously balanced, the feminine traits and the masculine traits are both expressed. To say one is a “real” man or woman would be to say one is a “real” human being with a good balance of both masculine and feminine energies.

When a man has his masculine energy well developed he can afford to express his feminine energy without fear, timidity or feeling a threat to his masculinity — which is already strong and developed.

When a man’s masculinity is not well developed and strong, he’ll tend to suppress his feminine side (i.e. being sensitive, nurturing etc) because he is already insecure about his masculinity. He’ll tend to express a more “macho” image to try to cover up his insecurity about his masculinity.

I agree

the only beautiful thing about childbirth is the baby

aisha2:
The Bible I realise has really beem twisted over the years
God was more concerned about adulterous men than the act of divorce itself but over the years the same adulterous men have de emphasised the adultery part and blackmailed women into staying in misery with adulterous men.

God spoke 5 chapters condemning adultery and unfaithfulness yet they never preach that. Hence people read the bible for yourselves

Beautiful

Happy Sunday

cococandy:
I don't see how learning any of those so called domestic chores will stop him from growing into a man. In fact I think it helps him become an all round balanced man. What you're saying is same thing as saying a woman shouldn't be raised with a go-getting , achieving mindset because she has to concentrate only on being domesticated. What bollocks!

And tomorrow treads like 'why do girls say they were used and dumped'; 'why do wives think that chores are demeaning' etc. will crop up

I pity the 'Nigerian' woman made for the 'Nigerian' man

P.S.: I wonder why 'we are Africans'; 'this is Africa' etc, chants are used for irrelevant and backward stuffs

No 'this is Africa' so we are hospitable, honest, hardworking etc. people

@OP: teach your child what you will

thorpido:
No you can't be a believer and continue to live a life doing things that destroy marriage.

That is the serious problem I have with people who want to use the Bible to justify themselves and yet are not ready to live by the dictates of the same Bibke

We cannot ear our cake and have it

We should choose the side we are on and stick firmly to it

thorpido:
You're right those words are not in the bible.However,not everything we say as Christians is necessarily in the bible.God already gave us a guide(the Bible) and His Spirit.

In Matthew 19 from vs 3,the Pharisees came to ask Jesus about divorce and Jesus replied in vs 4.He said,
'...And said unto them,Have ye not read,that He which made them at the beginning made them male and female,and said,for this cause shall a man leave father and mother,and shall cleave to his wife:and they twain shall be one flesh?Wherefore they are no more twain,but one flesh.

The words of Jesus here simply means they stick together forever in all situations(for better for worse as some say).

In vs8,He responded to further questioning by saying,'Moses because of the HARDNESS OF YOUR HEARTS suffered you to put away your wives(or your husbands):but FROM THE BEGINNING it was not so.
You can see the divorce stems from a hardness of the heart.Abuse,sexual neglect and addiction all come about as a result of the hardness of the heart.Christian teachings do not encourage anyone to continue in such a relationship.The Word of God is that love should grow in the hearts of a couple and naturally,they wouldn't have a reason to even want to separate.Where that cannot be achieved,separation is inevitable.

.....by the way some churches have modified those words and some simply say.......' for better,for richer and in health'.

I agree with you

Paul said if an unbelieving partner wants to leave, he/she is free to do so.

I strongly do not believe a cheat, abusive partner etc. is a believer

tpia6:
^^you can include yourself,





in fact, i thought they'd rush here to claim their superiority in the cheating game, surprised everyone is feigning holy now. . . . . . . .

I thought so too

BABE3:
Men.

If a woman finds a good dìck, it's like winning a lottery. It'll be hard for her to let go; added to the fact that she feels vulnerable after the pounding.

It's harder for a woman to find a man that satisfies all her séxual needs, than it is for a man to find a woman that satisfies his needs.

Women are more sexuâlly complicated.

A woman. Who feels vulnerable is probably one who was interested in the man, thought se.x will hook him and the man had other ideas.

A lady who set out with an agenda will not

Valeree:
Silent treatment is bad in every way... I have a male friend that does that a lot...and it really pisses me off..he won't reply my massages on viber or what's app or anywhere and won't pick my call, and if he manages to reply it would just be a text that said " I'm busy".
Once I did it to him over an issue we had, and he got so furious and sent a message , where he had rambled on over 11 pages of total bvllshit explaining why It should be only him that has the right to do such.
.. Meanwhile Currently, he is giving me another silent treatment since 4days now over something I'm yet to find out about.. U can imagine that sort of thing.. he doesn't know how fed up I am with the relationship and I will seriously be cutting away from him soon.

LOL!

Read this post over and over again

Truckpusher:
@Kachisbarbie......Silent treatment givers are emotional blackmailers.
One common thing that I have noticed about silent treatment givers is their inability to receive just 1 minute of silent treatment from their partners.
They will do everything humanly possible to make you talk,they will poke you,they will do all manner of things even irritating things to make you talk and the more they do this the more offensive they become.They would rather cover all their misdeeds with playful banters instead of sitting down and talk about the issue at hand.But as soon as it becomes them at the other end, they will stone up and become as cold as anything and expect you to beg until their ego is well massaged and they will turn around and behave as if they've done one great favor for you......All na wayo.
They are indirectly manipulating you - Because immediately after then whatever they do that doesn't go down well with you would get a natural waiver because no man in his right senses would want to stir up the hornet's nest after all that silent treatment and the begging for peace that followed.
I repeat silent treatment is immature and childish and they can be manipulative - And if you try it with me ,I'll personally treat you like you never existed until you come back to your senses and act like human.

Truckpusher:
@Kachisbarbie......Silent treatment givers are emotional blackmailers.

One common thing that I have noticed about silent treatment givers is their inability to receive just 1 minute of silent treatment from their partners.
They will do everything humanly possible to make you talk,they will poke you,they will do all manner of things even irritating things to make you talk and the more they do this the more offensive they become.They would rather cover all their misdeeds with playful banters instead of sitting down and talk about the issue at hand.But as soon as it becomes them at the other end, they will stone up and become as cold as anything and expect you to beg until their ego is well massaged and they will turn around and behave as if they've done one great favor for you......All na wayo.

They are indirectly manipulating you - Because immediately after then whatever they do that doesn't go down well with you would get a natural waiver because no man in his right senses would want to stir up the hornet's nest after all that silent treatment and the begging for peace that followed.

I repeat silent treatment is immature and childish and they can be manipulative - And if you try it with me ,I'll personally treat you like you never existed until you come back to your senses and act like human.

Nothing annoys me more than using playful banter to cover up misdeeds...

Just say sorry even if you want to use 'banter' to cover it up.

To me, it's pride

5minsmadness:
Are you saying a married couple cannot disagree totallyon a point? TThey are two different people from individual backgrounds. No matter the amount of love they have, disagreement is bound to come in sooner or later. Who takes the responsibility of the deciding vote?

What deciding vote?

If Wife says A, why?
If husband says B, why?

If they both roll it over, there will be more merits in someone's points and they both go with it

herald9:
Sorry I didn't mean to but I just had to laugh




Ok

Please do

Feminist + Non-feminist discuss and it ends in laughter

Hallelujah!

NL is getting better.

Have a great day

herald9:
Looolz... you're funny sha... but I can be funnier... but this is not a funny show....be serious


Maybe that's how you feminists understand it but my dictionary states otherwise ...

I wonder why you still holding on when It's obvious you're fighting a loose battle...

Some things weren't meant to be equal...

So just chill...let's have a toast and drink to our fates

How can I be fighting a battle in my office? (You are right; with my tasks @ work and standing up from my bed )

Bros, in no mood to discuss/argue feminism or mascuinism wanted to point out that equality doesnot mean rubbing shoulders or cheeks.

When we log off, we go to our individual lives so lets leave things as they are.

Emmalot121:
Are you not tired of doing the same thing eueryday. O ga o! Its not a must to marry.

Are you alright?

Last I remembered, I was not discussing with you

Everybody who has a different opinion is single/divorced/not interested in marriage/unhappy/bitter etc.

Now run along.

herald9:
Lolz... how do you define equality?



btw are you one of them?

Who are the them? Feminists?

Equality: Treat others how you want to be treated

herald9:
hmmm


Dhammy you're a G...

What you're carrying is too much for your young head.

Being different is cool...But being a feminist is an herculean resolution.

The society don't welcome women who tries to rub shoulders with the men.

You can still be different in another way.

Feminism = rubbing shoulders?

Physically or spiritually?

Religion is a very tricky thing

If it was cultural differences, let him be advices would be perfect

But religion? A genuine Christian knows that Jesus is the ONLY way so I understand the OP's POV that she wants her hubby to change.

@OP:

All you need is prayers

You said he is a good husband and father, then appreciate that in him and forget what people say.

Truth is that some of them don't have it as good

All the 'all men cheat' have silent?

Or is it all men cheat except me?

naijababe:
Shymexx, you are full of beans and you know it . David and Victoria were hated in equal measure before leaving for Spain. Her first solo album after Spice girls costing £5M sold less than 70k, she was panned by almost all of UK media. In fact, i recall her being dubbed 'the one that points' because she was pointing for the best in one of the Spice Girls videos. While in Spain, she wasn't doing much either and was desperate to return to the UK because the Spanish public already had Raul and wife, there was no room for Posh and Becks or so it was reported. This was largely the reason reported for her move to USA before David followed. She might have done whatever with Damon Dash, David was always the bigger star with the larger portion of their net worth until her fashion business took off like 4 maybe 5 years ago. Why the heck would she leave?

On Hillary, you may choose not to admit it, there was no way on this planet Hillary was leaving Bill until she'd her shot at her own political elevation. Bill had been cheating for years, long before they got to the WH, why would sleeping with Liz Hurley be an issue when he'd been philandering all the way back from Arkansas? Hillary knew staying was a means to an end. If I was in her shoes I'd do the same.

Cheryl and Ashely?! You really want to go there? The same Ashley aka Cashley Cole The entire nation wanted Cheryl to divorce him, heck staying with him could have ruined her career. Same thing again, it might have been difficult for her as was widely reported but she chose her career and looked after no1.

Omotola is Nigeria's sweetheart because she is still married amongst her talent and hardwork. She will never dream of divorcing her hubby even if he cheats with the whole world (not saying he is cheating o!). For some people who can stand on their own single, they stay married to cheats because their fame/net worth/success is hinged on the marriage.

For some, divorce might make no difference. E.g. Funke Akindele

pickabeau1:
Well...its an option...
If he wants to marry the girl....let him do a registry and a small read



LOL

That is an option too

I guess due to pregnancy, she cannot do white so just trad & court.

30K should take care of court and 100K take care of trad depending on the culture and bribe price

Don't mind that poster jor

Edited:

Went back to OP:

Just working and wedding end of this month?

I doubt he can cope.

Exjoker:
Tell your friend to claim his baby then dump the girl

Don't worry, police is coming to catch you on whatsapp

pickabeau1:
Still not a good idea to borrow
What if an emergency ensues just after the wedding

If he borrows about N500,000K he is paying back 40+ monthly. He still has 150+ to play around with.

This is a shotgun wedding so I doubt the option of saving till he can afford it and the wifey to be contributing because she is still a student though her family still has to pay their part.

I will just advice he lends what he can pay back without a dip in his resources.

pickabeau1:
Never borrow to execute a wedding

Make do with what you have

If he is borrowing for wedding what of the accommodation or baby items

He earns well and can sustain his family according to the OP but needs the more in bulk for the wedding ceremony

@OP: Your 'friend' can open a bank account with FCMB and take a loan of N500,000 or N600,000 and pay back in one year

Beautiful one @ OP

May God crown all our efforts on our kids

GoodFaith:
I am not against Nigerian women because I have seeing how my sisters support their husband
I am against bad Nigerian women that was not raise with high values and morals
There are lot of bad B out there

Well well

[quote author=iykedare post=28154438][/quote]This thread was created for 'faithful husbands'

If you are neither a husband yet nor faithful, you can hang around to learn.

If you have made up your mind to be unfaithful, please realize that some men have made up their minds to be faithful

Take care.

P.S.: Next time you quote me, do so in a format I can quote back

Thanks

What a thread

Glad it all worked out

pickabeau1:
no need convincing u otherwise

as i said before......



with time we will all know better that the whites we deify are no better

Bros,

I don't deify anybody

pickabeau1:
we all wish for improvement but the rants against naija gets too much
what i see here are things which happen in other places

its not unique here..

The exposed ones should know better

The issue is not that these things are exclusive to Nigerians...

The fact is that they are been justified is odd for a 'religious' country

There is a stark difference between 'I am a liar, I need to change' and 'There is nothing wrong in lying for me because I am a man/woman/child' etc. and others must NOT lie!

Who thinks like that?

A Nig

Your improvement may never come. They do not see it as wrong.

Now this amazes me: How can our mothers have happy marriages when our fathers were cheats?

Naija, the mind boggles