₦airaland Forum

pro01: Smh. 7 out of 10 times, the husband would be horrified if he ever gets the chance to read the messages in his wife's inbox/outbox (facebook and whatnot). But then, some husbands are just too 'secure' to bother about that - to the delight of their appreciative wives [s]and their extramarital 'admirers' and ex's[/s].

Western education and the influence of the western media/culture has had too many unintended consequences for Africans of this generation. I guess we might as well adopt the 'open marriage' model, since that absolves both parties of moral responsibility and ensures mutual rest of mind. The present traditional model that prioritises fidelity is fast becoming incompatible with the re-negotiated (im)morality of the Social Media generation.

you omitted something sir, fidelity on the part of the women...

ashson: Women are best respected in islam, it doesnt allow any hardship for the women. all her responsibilities ar 4 d care of her parents as a child, husband as a wife, children as a mother. women are treated with best care and affection in islam.

sorry, but the women woulo be best 'respected' if they are allowed to choose for themselves! choosing for that role for them means that is the only thing they have capability for. imagine you're in a football club and because of your family you are naturally 'respected' and 'unstressed' such that the only thing you do is carrying the jerseys of the players...

tbaba1234: From the article, it is a commercial city, NOT a residential city

Men work together all the time in our male dominated societies; why do they not get comments of breeding gay people?

It gives career oriented women an opportunity to pursue a career path; These women still have families outside the city...

and why should they seperate them in the first place? the men u re referin to stil see women or do you know of any male based town/city? this is manufacturing of lesbians emasse!

@OP: marriage isn't bondage and indecent dressing isn't good for anyone either single or married. this type of thinking is wat actually make a lot of pple esp ladies misbehave b'cos they want to live life b4 they enter the 'CAGE'. i would advice u discuss such wit d person u intend to marry so she knows that after marriage, she is expected to change her phone no, deactivate her fb and all other social network accounts, not accept compliments from men etc.

Decryptor: He supports her endeavors cos she didn't allow fame to get into her head or cme inbtw her role as a wife.hw many women can do that

and ow many men support their wives d way the hubby has done? i really give him kudos for holding their home today! he goes wit her for awards, dance competitions etc! ow many husbands can swallow their pride and do that? i'm not saying d man's perfect cos i'm not wit them but it's obvious he's her great fan. maybe if husbands supported their wives more instead of competiting wit them, the wives would 'behave' better.

234GT: For me, I want to marry a teacher who will be at home latest by 3pm to take care of the home. I will look for that woman and I wont compromise. I need someone to teach and mentor the children. I cant leave my children to the care of maids. I wont compromise. Its shape-in or shape-out.

u must be very selfish! u are not thinking of how u'll add value to the life of ur spouse! tell me, will u like ur children to be teachers forever? i guess u don't know that FATHERS and mothers should motivate and train their children and the fact that a woman is an house wife doesn't mean their kids will turn out well!

n op who told u that when a wife has a business instead of 9-5 job she would take care of the home? besides a 9-5 job is different from a career so which one are you talkin about? anyway in general, everyone has their destiny in life and while i believe that couples should help one another (not the wife helping the husband alone), everybody has his/her life to leave and it is very selfish of you to expect your wife to leave her dreams for yours because she's 'lucky' enough to be mrs. hononeric!

On the 7:30am yoruba news this morning, the newscaster said a story of a man who was shot in his house and was hospitalized. the newscaster went ahead and said that the man knows the identity of the people who shot him and would go after them when he comes out of the hospital. now, my question is this: should the newscaster have broadcasted that the man knows the people who shot him? is the newscaster not endangering the life of the man as the shooters might want to kill the man to cover their tracks?

i have noticed this a lot whereby journalists give information that can endanger the life of some people or cause certain unpleasant situations. so is it right?

engrtee: B4 women were d weaker sex.they dont work hard,just stay at home and raise the children.

Today,they want to make money. They arent satisfied wit staying at home.they want to president.they started pushn for genda equality,woman empowerment.what a man can do a woman can do better.

THEY BROUGHT IT TO THEMSELF.WHY COMPLAIN

and in ur mind now, you've contributed meaningfully to d thread! @OP, as some other posters said, life has dealt some pple wit a heavy hand and they don't ve d luxury of being choosy anymore. a typical person esp woman wouldn't want to do such but as they say, there is dignity in labour and it's better to do such horrible jobs than steal. i went to balogun market one day wit my cousin durin d prep for her wedding and we saw a child of 7 or 8yrs working as an alabaaru (those that help people carry heavy loads on their head). everybody was screaming b'cos d sight was horrible to the eyes! d child carried cartons of wine piled high on a plank on his/her head (d child was so small that d face was not too visible). anytime i reflect on it, i still wonder who was so heartless to hire that child! i rather give d child some money or find out how d parents are and 'talk' to them.

Sweetnecta: ^^^ and at the end for being enemy of belief/faith china will crumble in the presence of Islam,if Allah Wills.
an adult person who wants to skip meals should not be forced to it.

@bukatyne: could tell us your reason that you said "dont say that"?

then according to u, saudi'll soon fall! i said that b'cos islam is NOT tolerant of other pple's beliefs and will never be so pls lets not go there! i have heard of countless things that happened to christian missionaries when they went to evangelize is islam dominated countries and places.

[quote author=Africa's jolie]No dear the first daughter is 16years[/quote]and d second is about 15! even @ 16 and 15, i don't want my kids to look and act older than their age/time. if u jam those kids on d road, ll u cal them 16 15?

i don't support wat china is doin b'cos everyone has d right to worship God in anyway he/she likes as far as the religion doesn't constitute a nuisance to d state. i don't believe that ramadan fast disturbs d state in anyway but like they say, 'what goes around comes around' and 'what is sauce to the goose is sauce to the gander' and the chinese are learning very well from the muslims themselves!

Yasmeena: I wud sure look out dis thread n make my contribution appropriately after ramadhan,if Allah wills.. Bt I'll challenge u all 2 research on d fact dat islam is d only religion dat protects d ryts of non muslims living in a muslim state, n pls dnt 4get dat, islam is perfect,muslims are nt, n are'nt required 2 be. Peace!

Please don't say that again!

i wonder why some pple just sit and think of how to destroy themselves! i remember Chris when he just started singing and he looked clean and very cute but now, he looks like a first class tout!

d pictures re nice but the kids look like they re thrown into a role they re too young for. i believe d first gal is about 14yrs... i wouldn't want my 14yr kid to look like that! anyways, thumbs up to the family! i like d fact they re stil together. d hubby really planned d cost of marrying a celebrity b4 he did and it really worked for him!

Sweetnecta: @Op: If Boko Haram, etc are your ideal muslims, where do you put your parents who are muslims, spending their emotion, monies, etc on you? Are they not the logical examples for your life, instead of looking at shadowing ignorant group of low lives, pretending to be humans? Allah says some humans are even worse than cattle.

I took my Islam from my late father [ra] and in time, in less than a decade ago, my former christian mother became a muslim when I asked if Jesus was God, The All Powerful? She said no because she was able to differentiate lies from reality of "of my own power, I can do nothing", as Jesus had declared. I asked if Jesus was son of God, she knew enough that Adam and Eve who had no mother[s] were not children of God, and they would have been more qualified to be if God is to have children from mankind, since Jesus had even a mother, and looked like her, who in turn had parents. Alhamdulillah, my mother now in her 80s is a woman when she dies [not soon oh Allah. Give her many more decades, still, for you are abundant in Mercy, Blessing, etc], i will be able to make supplication to Allah for her.

From the family of the people who call themselves boko haram, there must be someone who dislike what they stand for. Okay from their cities, towns and villages. Ok from their tribe[s], because not all muslim hausas and fulanis and other northern nigerian tribes wants to leave Islam. I am a yoruba man and i know how unpopular Islam is now around the world. Thanks to the likes of boko haram, alqaeda, etc. However, do these groups have hold on my soul, my heart with ability to know right from wrong? No. I am a free man with free mind.

I remember my years in high school, university, and the early years of marriage. Almost all the christians i know cant help themselves in indulging in everything from drinking, getting high etc.

. sorry but your mother was never a christian. she was just a church goer.

petokey: Heyy! Do u want me to become a slave to her becos am broke. And all this things you listed what made you won't spend doing them.?

and so cherishin ur gf means u've become her slave! wonders ll neva cease!

jumman: When your girlfriend needs money to buy the latest dresses, shoes and blackberry in town you wan start to dey whisper i love u 1000 times for her hair, shey na dat one she go chop. Do all these without giving her money she will leave ypu for a richer guy.

and is it d guy's responsiblity to buy blueberry, brazilian weaves and Gucci bags for his gf! any gal not content wit d OP and a little extra gifts once in a while doesn't know wat love means and should go hug a wet transformer! i don't know why pple in general would never learn that it's easy to spend money for people u don't even have an iota of feeling for but it's difficult to spend quality time wit u.

elampiro: What is the essence of this topic? Does it mean you girls lack confidence? You people can go ahead and breed young girls that will grow up not willing to stay in their husbands' houses (not being able to stay in marriages). Perhaps, the very reason marriages are not working in the western world. Women are programmed and stereotyped from girlhood.

and u think d beginning and end of a woman's life is her husband! can't u differentiate b/w a rude gal and a confident one? gals should also be warned to stay away from men like u!

@OP: i like ur thoughtfulness towards Nigerian Ladies. however, just read several posts on NL where men defend d cheating of other men saying dat 'it's normal for men to cheat' etc and you would see where women get the idea that all men cheat. read the threads where men treat women like BS and u'll see why women are looking for the perfect man. check around and see how men dump wives who suffered wit them and marry young sweet 18 when they have arrived and u'll see why women want to marry rich men. although, i agree wit some of ur other pts. so men have a lot of things to do. the men that don't cheat, advice d ones that cheat. d ones that treat women like queens, talk to those that treat women like BS. those that appreciate women that support them when they lack, fish out those that dump them when they've arrived. so dear OP, if u want to see women change, u men need to step up ur game.

this is a beautiful topic and CC thanks for bringing it up. such topics interest me a lot cos i'm known as d 'woman right activitist' at home.

@OP: upbringing is very very important which is not easy esp in Nigeria of today. a woman having self confidence is labeled as rude, unsubmissive and 'unladylike'. our parents drum it into our heads right from birth that a boy is better. in so many homes, the boys get away wit murder but d gals re trained to be 'good' wives. how many of our parents sit our brothers down to educate them on how to be a good husband? the society also sees a boy child as better. even in d church, men seems to outshine the women. i believe parents have a huge role to play. as a poster said, 'train up a child and when he/she is old, he/she would not depart from it.' parents should encourage and love their children and i believe u've raised some salient pts. women too should also build up their self esteem. don't wait for a man to validate b4 u feel like a human being. i guess women are women's problems. most times, it's women that say 'ow can a woman do this?' etc. i remember a thread a poster opened that she wouldn't train her boys n gals equally cos they're not. well, that is disaster waitin to happen. submission is another issue where we get it wrong. it doesn't equate slavery. God help us b'cos we ve a lot of damaged women walking about.

[quote author=Hour_Glass]Of course am not speaking Efik now, or it sounds like Ibibio?

Anyways, what am trying to say is that you should not try to loose weight in just one place on your body. It does not work that way, you can only tone an area. So if you are out to one your already flat tummy, you can do as many crunches as you want.
Please try to read up earlier posts, you will gain a lot.[/quote]thanks! however, my tummy is not flat, i'm gettin there n u didn't answer my initial question. does situps reduce one's bum?

infogenius: Possible causes are Emotional stress,hormonal imbalance,perimenopause,illness,diet,exercise,excessive weightloss or weight gain,eating disorders,drugs(used for birth control methods),problems with pelvic organs,travel,premature ovarian failure,breast feeding,obesity,liver disease,tuberculosis and diabetes.But also note that you can get pregnant even though you are not menstruating

thanks.