₦airaland Forum

Happens on the regular.

theForth:
Big lie bro.

Do what is best for you, shine your eye.

Not enough information to give advice.

Emirofmakurdi:
Good day everyone
I would just go straight to the point, I met this girl February this year, I liked her or would rather say I love her, I approached her, told her how I felt for her and asked her to be in a relationship with me, she politely declined and told me we could just be very good friends, since then we have been in touch, she even comes to my place sometimes to see me and even sleep over in most cases.
Recently she started asking me if I was still interested in dating her, that we should date, though I still love her, but I have discovered some things about her that is holding me back from dating her now. She has a sugar daddy and has been with so many guys, and she is currently still seeing the sugar daddy, I still love her. But I am just confused.
Please you guys should advice me on what to do. Thanks.

Flexing money without having a clear source makes people wary.

If it is a guy who is doing that, they may be scammers, if it is a woman, she may be a scammer or a 'hospitality expert'.

There are also many people who have eventually been found out, so...

With the current rate of divorce, this is already the case.

Nna, you for cook the peppersoup na.

sayle1952:
Pregnancy is a period that comes with dramatic changes in a woman's body. It also comes with women having this funny and sometimes crazy cravings that will awe you.
I remember when my wife was pregnant for our first child. Oh! It came with some very funny moments. One night at about past 10pm or thereabout, my wife woke me up to tell she wants to eat peppersoup. At first, I pretended I didn't hear her. The next thing was a kick from her that woke me up from my sleep. I got up and got dressed to go look for where to get her peppersoup. Luckily, Lagos is a city that never sleeps as I found a place to get her a nice plate of peppersoup. Funny thing, when I got home, this woman said she lost appetite for it. I just laughed. Okay, madam since you lost appetite, let me savour the sweet peppersoup that I had to leave the house for that late, madam said I must not touch her soup. There were several other funny moments we had to deal with.
Our boy is almost 3 now and fatherhood is such a blessing.
Guys, let's hear your own funny stories when dealing with pregnancy.

Loool.

Lollittaa:
Don't let NL guys hear you. Especially the ones one this thread. Before they start questioning your sexuality. Ehm Ehm. *Clears throat*

You want an 80 years old yahoo grandpa?

Fiscus105:
You can bring 17 years old yahoo boy now

The world is also witnessing REBIRTH and REJUVENATION.

The lava is creating new land, fertile land.

Righteousness2:
It is so Clear to all that the Earth is in times JESUS Christ referred to as Birth pains.

The World is witnessing Death, Destructions and Despair at Unprecedented levels.
These Devastating events are not accidents or merely Natural cycle of things.

The World is Enduring Events, designed to bring about the End this age and the World.

The RAPTURE of the Bride of JESUS CHRIST is so Imminent.

REPENT, Believe in JESUS Christ, Live Prepared, Watch and Pray! Anymoment! Anyday, JESUS will Breakthrough the Sky and Harpazo all who are ready and Prepared.

I still don't understand what the size of boobies have to do, even in a purely carnal sense.

Lollittaa:
Na them sabi. It's no secret they're simps. I mean see them drooling over milk sacks. Mtchew

Nice throwback story.

Are we really going to 'elect' an 80 year old man who has a long history of medical illness, has no fresh ideas, and is a firm believer of rent-seeking?

Like I replied to raalsalghul, many people value life more than money, especially at very high incomes.

mariahAngel:
Is relationship all about money?
I think it is more of some men feeling intimidated and insecure when their women earns more.

Even (some) poor ladies who "have tasted life" look down on their men.

Also, many top-earning women value things other than money. They already have money or come from money. They know money doesn't solve everything. They have their fellow high-earning women friends who can't find nobody.

Raalsalghul:
And you're sure she won't treat him with disdain at some point in their marriage?

She could wake up one morning and start feeling like "I could do better" even with the guy busting his ass off.

These are delicate issues my friend, don't trivialize it.

This is colo mentality.

stanluiz:
Freedom of movement does not mean that you should be senseless and stupid.

Chinwetalu agu shouldn't have wear the attire with the security situation in the east.

Ipob has turned biafra flag into a Terrorist flag.

There have been multi-million naira judgements before, even this year.

Not sure if the judgements are eventually paid.

Mr. Agu is famous enough, and this matter in the public eye, that he is safe from harm by the DSS.

tctrills:
wait oh, are you talking about Nigeria or some other country?

If the mother now disowns this boy/man, (some) people will still call her wicked.

Reason number 1 million to not be a 'christian'.

The more people actually READ the bible, the more they stop taking it seriously.

Toks2008:
I saw the attached somewhere and I just can't imagine this law in the present day.

I wonder how many married women will be alive and how many unmarried ladies will dare to get married If This biblical law is enforced in this present day.

This one shock me...

I wish they take him to court and I hope he wins a multi-million naira settlement for his fundamental rights being violated.

Freedom of speech, conscience, movement, etc are in our bloody constitution.

It is cultural. It is also a means of watching your weight. A girl knows if the beads are tight, she needs to cut down on her food and exercise more.

It is a beautiful tradition.

Baldwretch:
I have seen this thing on two different women.

First woman was doing exercise in her shop and was doing it in a way that makes the beads obvious. The place is a GRA but their house has a shop where they sell.

Second one, I was flirting with one and before I knew it, she's bent sideways answering calls.

The beads are like four or five.

I don't know what to make of it.

They probably think she is a runs person.

I doubt this is as common as you imply because they risk deactivation.

She may be so nice and sweet that guys naturally fall in love (which crazy but not impossible).

shortgun:
Can I report Uber and Bolt Drivers?
They keep harassing my girlfriend whenever I book a ride for her to come to my place, meet up with me or go back to her house.

I am busy most times and don't have the time to pick her up or drop her off.

She keep telling me of the harrasments and how she will prefer I pick her than book a ride.
I always overlook her complaints until yesterday a bolt driver who told her he's married came back to her house to look for her after a ride yesterday!!

The randy man picked her from my house, I spoke with him on the phone and she told him she's in a relationship but he still carry his poverty stricken blokkos to my girls house?

I tot guys that do uber are trying to make ends meet? I always tip them cos I tot they need help but this have shown me that they are just a bunch of unserious people.

- Likes you for you
- Wants to improve herself
- Only has eyes for you (no RUNS)
- Eventually (say a year in), is happy to talk about family life.

Notice how all those ladies are a lil fat.

I thought RP guys don't like fat/curvy girls anymore?

Lollittaa:
This is why you're poor. Daydreaming of babies food.

Was OP rich as a student when he started dating her?

cococandy:
Funny when poor people don’t want to marry other poor people.
Abeg who will marry us if our fellow poor folks think they are too good for us?

I'm a man.

- He should limit how much he spends on her family & his family.

- Why is she not an auxiliary nurse yet?? If he ever wants to japa, this is extremely important.

- Even if the girl is from a middle class or even rich family, he may have to spend more:
There are girls who see it as okay to spend N30 k in a week; these tastes worsen with their experience in life. Is he ready to buy iPhone and designer for rich gf? Is he ready to buy very wealthy apartment or build overly lavish house for his middle class wife?

- This guy has known this lady for 8 years and has only positive things to say. How many girls will he meet now (now that he is a fully fledged MD), who won't be after his money or can manage the doctor lifestyle?? (He could marry another doctor).

tensazangetsu20:
Guy notice how all the people supporting the marriage are all women. That's hypergamy speaking. Ask yourself this if you were uneducated and poor would any female doctor be willing to marry you.

Guy give yourself brain o. Doctors in Nigeria don't earn well and the responsibilities she will bring both from her and her family members will stall your dreams. I don't know if you are a resident planning to become a consultant or even writing foreign exams to japa but whichever route you take will require serious financial resources and concentration. Once you marry her now, prepare for her parents to ship at least two of her siblings to you. Don't say you don't care bla bla bla. This is Africa o. A cup of beans is 700 naira now. A cup of rice is 500. Food is expensive. Even on a salary of 500k as a doctor which you need to be senior resident to earn you will live hand to mouth. Better give yourself a working brain before you do what will you will regret for the rest of your life.

Will a girl making N3 m a month marry a guy making N700k a month?

Yes.

theForth:
Will a rich woman even associate with a poor man?
Na only man God take dey uplift family?

Bro just do what's best for you, always put yourself first in everything.

He can still refuse or limit what he does for the family.

AutoChick4U:
So y did you accept to carry such weight when you know it ain't easy? Never out do yourself in this life. The chioma can be brushed up to become independent and assist her family, any of her siblings can blow tomorrow.

Lol.

No be me and anybody dey do that bread winner rubbish.

yomi007k:
When he has money- it is the man that is expected to be bread winner. This is Africa.


When she has money -it is expected to be gender equality. This is 21st century.

I blame him almost 100% for that.

Eight years and he has not gotten her engaged as an auxilliary nurse? Haba.

bukatyne:
Don't women develop men where you are from?

The husband in this case is the 'enlightened' partner and should have developed the girl to his standard or influenced her to the point she is thirsty for the next level.

She is not even thinking of becoming an auxiliary nurse or chemist to complement her husband.

What were they discussing?

Was marriage even on the table or it just progressed to marriage because they have benn together for 8 years?

You and her dated for EIGHT years and NOW you are having second thoughts.

All the women you and her know will use you as the reason why women are "single until there is a ring on her finger".

My friend, you have even done introduction.

Are you spending on her entire family to show yourself?

I know some ladies from poor families who were even fighting their husbands and fiancés to STOP sending money to her family.

Discuss with her, set a LIMIT to what you send her family's way. If you can, help them plan their way out of poverty: school, job with prospects, etc).

Xman12345goat:
Good evening all, I am a medical doctor who just graduated about 5 years ago. I have completed my mandatory one year internship and NYSC program. I now work in a Federal medical Center in the East.

The reason why I created this topic is to seek advice on the risk of getting married into a very poor family. I love my girlfriend Chioma very well. I have been dating her for more than 8 years now and would like to settle down with her. I have met her family and paid her bride price.

The problem here is that she comes from a very poor family. Her dad is late and her mum is a petty trader. She is the first child and has six siblings. She is very beautiful, hardworking, God fearing but not educated. She only completed secondary school. Immediately after introduction, I kind of became the bread winner of her family and had to support in training her younger siblings in school not forgetting that am the first son/child of my own family and I have to cater for my own siblings too.

My mum is now bothered and wants me to call off the wedding and marry someone from a middle income family, at least some one with a degree certificate, am beginning to reason with her because of the nature of our economy, but I love chioma very much and I don't want to disappoint her.

You wasted the gas so nobody gained.

Tell them they should fill their own gas.

Meet these things head on, not through corner corner.

Are you a man? Were you expecting something from the wife?

NEVER beat your househelp.

Treat her or him like family, else what you have is a slave.

Explain to your mom that NAPTIP is supposed to arrest her.

Hismasterpiece:
Good day my fellow nairalanders.

Ever since i was a baby, my family has always had a house help living with us (so far we've had 7 since the mid 90's till now).

One thing that has always been constant is my mother flogging the house helps when they misbehave (in her opinion).

My dad even told me that while i was still a kid my mum would frequently flog the house help that lived with us as at that time very early in the morning (and she was a little girl).

We currently have a househelp living with us. She should be about 13 or 14 years old. She was sent to us from the village. Before now my mum would flog her almost every morning early in the morning (some days i used to wake up to the sound of her flogging the girl). After we talked to her about it severally she reduced the amount of flogging. Right now she still flogs her when she misbehaves but not like before.

The girl in question has done many bad things in the past. Recently she stole my mother's phone and would use it to play games every night (when everyone in the house is asleep) this was during Christmas and she hid it for days. We searched for the phone and couldn't find it. My mum even called her bank to block her account thinking that it was stolen by an outsider. She later got caught playing a video game on the phone at night.

I was even suspected. They thought i had stolen the phone and sold it.

Another thing the girl does is steal meat and food from the pot. Recently she stole some beans and plantain from the pot while it was still boiling. She took some and put it in a nylon and my mum caught her with it (she didn't flog her though).

I personally don't think it is okay for my mum to be flogging another person's child even if the person is under her care and even if she does bad things. Sometimes she uses a standard cane, sometimes she slaps or knocks her, sometimes she uses whatever is in her hand at the moment.

I personally believe scolding her would suffice. I don't feel comfortable with her flogging someone else's child.

What do you guys think? Is it okay to flog your house help? Even when she misbehaves?

Don't make it an accusation, and please have these conversations in person.

Explain that you were not trying to 'catch' her but you do not appreciate any 'small' lie.

Use religion to buttress your point.

Good luck.

There are more fundamental questions:
- how many children
- is she working, going to school?
- Could she work from home? (Fiverr, Youtube, writing)

armstrongadeola:
Good evenning house ,

I just want to ask this simple question !

What will you do if for the first week you get your salary paid into your son account and your wife withdrew #35,000 but lied she withdrew #30,000 ?

This is what happened .She gets the SMS notification from our son account and she also keep the ATM card but all I do is to get the mail notification.

Tonight ,she was indirectly complaining she doesn't have money and I asked her how much she withdrew in the last five days and she said #30,000 but the mail notification I got showed she withdrew #5,000,#15,000 and #15,000 on Monday and Tuesday (this week ).

The amount that dropped in the account was #150,000 and she was the one that even started doing transfer for those we needed to settle last sunday when my salary dropped .

We paid our son school fee ,sent little amount to my sister and little amount to her mum and her elder sister and I borrowed #13,000 from the money for transportation.We paid debt of #20,000 .

I stay and work on the island while I go home three times a week (mainland)

In all these,she was able to withdrew #35,000 and I was surprised she was telling me this night to get the money someone was owing me so that I can return the #13,000 I got because all what we have as balance in the account is #2,000 .

I was like is she trying to tell me she have finished the #35,000 with her and jokingly I said how much did you even withdraw from the salary and she said #30,000 !

I asked her if she was sure and she said that's what she withdrew .I now sent the notification I got to her and she was shocked and refused to reply me since 8pm .

My question is why did she lie ? Definitely ,she know she took #35,000 (#5,000 &#15,000 on Monday&another #15,000 on tuesday )but I am still shocked why she lied and why she is insisting on getting the #13,000 she transferred to me from my own sweat !!

Seriously ,I have lost my trust in her .This is someone who I have never benefitted anything from her rather than the fact that we have a son together after our wedding .

I love her so much and we have been together since 2013 .I have never seen any trace of infidelity in her but she locks her phone with heavy security just because I lock mine and that have never cause an issue but I still don't know why she had to lie this night !

Is there something I don't understand ?

She have definitely been a good wife since we settled down( with prayer and moral support )and she always stand by me in term of better and worse and she is not wayward despite how pretty she is .

But why did she lie ?

Sadly, virtually all security outfits could have done this.

No CCTV, the killers have also disappeared.