₦airaland Forum

It's not by cooking. The primary reason for marriage is not eba of. Haba.

Confront, think again, push back the wedding. If after thinking, she still wants to call it off, call it off.

People don't change, in my opinion, so this will happen again.

Unless they can agree to open marriage.

People can assume whatever they want.
There are many people now and in the previous generation that never did traditional marriage.

Legally, they have no qualms. If they live in Lagos and don't go to their hometowns, they also have no problem. The problem, in my observation, only arises when they intend to be involved in their hometowns.

Lollittaa:
maybe in your current location, they don't. But if you are from/ live in southern Nigeria, and you don't, you'll be assumed to have an illegitimate union.

Not everyone pays brideprice. There is no legal backing for it so no one really has to pay it.

Also, all the ladies I know in this generation, are the ones who put importance on brideprice. You could say they learned to value it from their families but we all have influences. I remember talking with some friends in the abroad and she was insisting on having bride price paid for her. I asked why and the response is always the same: "because..."

Lollittaa:
in a way, men still pay for sex, legitimately through the bride price even. Men are the ones who put a price tag on women's bodies. But then, women are to blame.

Don't try to understand it.

Your actions were the best. Tell her you know what she's doing. Delete number, move on.

22o62021:
We bonded so well together, she is an NYSC member. She told me that she has a boyfriend but she has called off their relationship because the guy has beaten her twice. The first time , the guy did it in front of his mother to the extent that she lost a tooth. And spent days in the hospital

The second time the guy slapped her because she told him that he comes home late.
She said the guy is a serial cheat, she has caught him on different occasions.

They dated for 6 years. But the guy will not accept the break up. Their families knows each other.

I have her the love she deserved, pampered her so well. I told her that I know she will go back to the guy one day, she said nooo I can’t do that.

One week after I said that to her. The guy was calling and pleading. She stopped picking my calls. I stopped calling her.

I sent her a text to know what is going on. She said it’s not what I think.

I said fine. I deleted her numbers and move on.

This is to say that most girls are confused.
I think they prefer abusive men but on the internet They rebuke them.

Not all sex is paid for.

Lollittaa:
who are the ones that pay for sex? When will you stop writing rubbish?

I swear you people just live on SM and lie.

I know a security guard that almost had problem because a girl was sneaking in to visit him...the madam caught them.

Bricklayers that I know dey get woman steady, not even prostitute. For my very before sef, the bricklayer and the lady selling pure water been dey flirt so strongly i no fit laugh.

You people are either too young to know anything or are just spilling diarrhea from the mouth.

proxillin:
And girls they are dating don't need a job, because they have pssy...

try harder

That's why research is soo important.

bukatyne:
Dem full instagram.

That is the new rave in town: self-love and take me as I am

Guys doing hard menial jobs have girlfriends.

People date in the village, market, etc.

Mtchew.

hotwax:
Cut the crap. You see guys taking up hard menial jobs to look good enough to walk up to a girl.

Is that not on their sweath?

Sometimes I try to quantify nairalanders mental viability...very horrible

If you know how many scammers have stolen from American Christians in Israel eg, you will weep.

Benefits depend on who and why you marry.

Some are:
- economies of scale.
- two incomes
- normalcy & routine
- expanding your horizons
- ready made life partner and friend
- stable family

Yes. Age is a number.

Your relationship has to be based on MUTUAL RESPECT; like all relationships.

Biko, if this is still puppy love, do NOT get married.

Be together for like 2 years first before marrying.

darkstar6971:
Hello fellow Nairalanders pls I'm here for a suggestion and let it be positive pls ain't need no insult...
I'm having a girlfriend which is 29yrs and I'm just 23 years, We both love each other to the extent that we don't even knew the time we start the relationship... pls I need your suggestions here...

Please moderators help me to move this thread to front page so as to get more positive suggestions.

CC: Lalasticlala

Aunty biko, my Igbo never reach.

I'm from Opobo and I never learned to read Igbo.

mariahAngel:
Na so!
Ha gaa a gwa unu a gwa, unu o ga a mata?
I’m just telling you from a female perspective, ka I buru ya n’obi. Maka adi ama-ama.



E chetala’m mgbe nwanne’m nke ishi bara school.
My mum saw him off to the bus park, stood there till they loaded, and the bus was out of sight.
Gi hu ya eshi ahu ehn, chai! Ya dichaa weak.
She just came home and went straight to bed. Ebere m mere ya eshi ahu.



Ngwanu.

He has been intimate with her mother, as recently as 3 weeks before the wedding; according to her bio mom.

ebexofficial:
The man has been chopping her coddedly and now he wants her all to himself.
Bad man

I struggle to see what the dilemma is.

Elder bros and sis should marry and leave the compound.

The younger ones are too young to marry...but; the bride's family should have a right of first refusal for the younger ones to marry in 3 - 5 years time.

Poco has a way of painting mature things like this with the best analogies.

Biko, men, run from people who use this western take me as I am philosophy.

pocohantas:
Some people believe they should just be loved the way they are. With their good and bad. Even when they can make conscious efforts to change, they refuse to. They call it self-love. Some compromises are healthy. He is not asking you to go from dark skin to fair skin, he is only asking you reduce the salt you put in food. You na say the man that loves you would enjoy your food like that. You want to damage his liver?

Somebody beats you once, I can understand if you (foolishly in my opinion) give a second chance.

But noooo, the guy has beat you at least twice, you are unhappy, yet you are getting married??

Make sure you do court marriage first since you (foolishly) want to play with your life.

I hope for his sake that he did not kill her.

If he did:
- they will come for him
- he won't know what freedom is
- he will sully the Kenyan name and the black African husband reputation.

Also, I think among men who get paternity tests because they have doubts, the rate is close to 30%.

ahnie:
So whats the moral of this jist












Modified....to the imbeciles that are quoting me,98percent of you are not the legitimate sons of your fathers.

Blohungers will blohungry.

ahnie:
So whats the moral of this jist












Modified....to the imbeciles that are quoting me,98percent of you are not the legitimate sons of your fathers.

Run from these type of women. If she puts all these incriminating info out there, and you STILL chase her, I blame you solely.

(P.S: you shouldn't even be chasing in the first place. Mutual attraction or no dice)

Because you are chasing a woman that doesn't like you.

proxillin:
[s]I pay blood and sweat to have sex with a woman[/s].

5'9 is average in Canada and below average in places like Norway.

What are you going on about?

Bigchevy:
Hello Nlanders.

There's this girl we been dating for about 2 years now. We hardly fight, very understanding and beautiful inside and outside. But as a human, I've got this feeling of insecurity about our height compatibility as I'm 5ft 9 inches while she's 5ft 7 inches. I try not to think about it or see it as a valid reason for parting away with her but a part of me is saying don't be selfish and I need to consider the possible heights of our kids if we get married and start making babies. Fellow Nlanders, I need your thoughts on this. What would u do if u were in my shoes? Sacrifice your love over physical attributes of your next generation? And bear in mind to find another true love may be hard if not impossible after losing one.

I mean the lack of accountability in this statement is crazy.

Dilemma00:
My dad coerced me to apply for this banking job last month (I didn't want to because of the pregnancy and single mum tag), but I had to because I didn't want to seem like I was lazy and not making efforts to assist my family (he would have known if I didn't apply), also wasn't hopeful about the job or expecting an offer so I just applied.

Poor guy wetin??

He needs to man up yes I said it, and do right by this girl and their child.

Nigerians are quick to blame government and each other for tribalism but we are the most racist people on earth.

Just like a friend of mine whose boyfriend broke up with her because of the same reason you mentioned: a bad experience in his mom's family with a spouse from an Igbo state. This guy is from another Igbo state.

frozen70:
You can confide with the Top and inform them that you are dating and became pregnant


Your guy, informed his family about your pregnancy and his family doesn't want him to marry from your town because of the experience a family member had marrying from that same town

So you are keeping the pregnancy because your conscience didn't allow you to abort

Is only God that gives a permanent job not humans

1. Hope nobody is praising you for getting pregnant without a marriage or committed partnership.

2. You should technically have some protection under law. However, you will start showing during your probationary period and the bank may deem the pregnancy a misrepresentation during the application process. Pursuing them if anything happens could be prohibitively expensive.

3. You may be able to force the guy to provide for the child. Especially if your parents are involved.

4. Wake up girl and live life more intentionally.

Virginity is only special to those who consider it special.

I think that people who care about 'purity', 'unfaithfulness'; would be better served by considering the body count to relationship ratio.

Value your personal connection with someone more than anything else.

It is my understanding that human research indicates that relationships last shorter the more partners the people have. So this body count hullabaloo may have something to it, on average.

Poco, don't tell me you're an atheist ooo.
I may need to do introduction sharp sharp.

pocohantas:
What makes you think she wants to enter the kingdom of God?

Only useful for audio back and forth.

If your significant other, male and female, ever threatens violence against you; RUN!

Newsmic:
https://igberetvnews.com/1403854/woman-dies-husband-set-ablaze-insisting-travel-mothers-burial-graphic-photo/