bukatyne, I get you and I understand you. However, in the OP’s case she didn’t make mention of being the one driving the domestics, she didn’t say her husband wasn’t doing chores.

Provision isn’t gender base anymore, equal opportunity for women brought about equal responsibility. Should a man be more involved in chores? Yes. Should a woman be more involved in providing? Yes. In a situation where a partner isn’t capable of fulfilling his/her obligations in the relationship, should there not be accommodations?

I think the comparison here would be If a woman who took care of the domestic aspect of her home was involved in an accident and confined to a wheel chair, would it be right if the man starts complaining about not wanting to do chores and resenting her and start cheating? The man who is temporarily financially handicapped needs all the support and encouragement he can get now.

RichGal, I appreciate that you are respectful with your comments, even to those who disagree with you. That’s a very scarce behaviour on nairaland. May God give you the wisdom to handle your issues the right way. Cheers and all the best.

RichGal, you are right. I don’t have all the facts neither do I know you or your husband. It just happens to be a frequent occurrence that when a woman is in a position of being the one to sacrifice for the family, it becomes an issue.

What would change in your responsibilities if you leave him? You are most likely going to continue paying the rent and fending for your children right? Meaning your issues are centred majorly about not wanting to fend for your husband.

My saying the opportunity never presented itself for you to be physical has nothing to do with your appearance or looks or the men hitting on you. If the right man hits on you and the opportunity to do it without been caught appears, you would. Besides just because it wasn’t physical doesn’t mean the deed hasn’t been done.

It’s when you get a divorce that you will begin to notice the things he does right that you do not see now because you resent him for being dependent. My initial post wasn’t to attack you but to advise men to learn wisdom from women on how to behave in relationships. We see men choosing their wives over their mums, when the chips are down these wives do not reciprocate this energy.

There’s no coming back from what you did with Mr Reddit man, your husband may be aware but unable to leave because you feed him, plus the resentment you have for him will show in the way you treat and talk to him. It’s when he gets up you will see the true colour of things. My advice to you is to take a walk now.

Someone once made a post ‘asides money, what do men bring to the table?’ This same money you put aside is what many women will find exceptionally difficult to bring to the table like the OP in this case.

This is why I have always recommended that a man shares the bills on a 50-50 level with his wife no matter how much more he makes than her. Some of you men make more than your wife, you take care of all the bills and even give her something to supplement her income, you need to know that no woman will do the same for you.

You make more than them you feel the need to bring them up, they make more than you they feel the need to replace you. This woman has cheated on her husband and the reason it didn’t get physical is because the opportunity hasn’t presented itself.

To the OP, God has blessed you with the finances in your home, your husband is suddenly a burden, would your husband feel the same way about you if he made all the money? Divorce him. I hope what happened in the movie Acrimony becomes his reality. How can someone who has tried his hands on multiple businesses be termed lazy and not ambitious?

They say to women, marriage is like the flies on the kitchen window, the ones inside wants to get out, the ones outside wants to come in. Two months after divorce you will be on dating sites asking if there are no ‘real men’ looking for commitment anymore, asking why everyone you meet wants fwb or one night stand. Just divorce him, I’m sure he would have made something of his life if he stayed single.

Travelled to surprise her. She thought she would be spending Christmas alone, but I showed up when I told her I wasn’t going to. When I texted I was outside I heard her loud shout as she ran out to see me. Never seen her that happy.

I tell ladies the same thing. He may genuinely forgive you as your boyfriend but when he’s ready to pick a wife he will recall the past. Men set different standards when choosing girlfriends and wives.

Ladies, if you get caught cheating in your relationship just walk away. The chances of progression for such relationship is less than 2%.

post=111393646:

In the pin of Osun state we are eleniyan.
(Baba 70 or Wizkid).

Chief Topmaike,
Could that be the correct translation please?
We are trying to brush up on all Nigerian languages.

Eniyan iyi ni wa ni ipinle Osun is the campaign slogan of Iyiola Omisore. It’s a double entendre, it could mean we are people of honour/prestige in Osun state and/or we are Iyi’s people in Osun state ( Iyi being the short form of his first name Iyiola). Iyiola means honour or prestige from wealth.

;

okrikaboi:
Church we were in the choir together
When I saw her hold that mic go down on her knees and sing I knew she was the one

Foreign women getting married to Nigerian men are very interested and willing to abide by the Nigerian culture of submissiveness.

You see white women learning how to cook Nigerian meals, learning the man’s local dialect, kneeling to greet him and his family members etc.

There’s nothing wrong with someone being outspoken or independent, you can be both and still acknowledge that your husband is the head of your family, if not for anything by virtue of his age, as most Nigerian men marry ladies younger than them. Any lady who knows this can’t be too liberal for a Nigerian man.

Atiku will wake up the ‘ must the north always rule’ sentiment in the south. The same sympathy vote GEJ got in 2011 because the north wanted to chance him is the same the southern candidate of the APC will get especially in the south.

That northerners would want to contest this election after eight years of northern rule is a slap to the face of every southerner in the PDP. Umahi saw this earlier and that was why he defected. There will be more defections from the PDP If a northerner gets the ticket.

The same Atiku that walked out on the PDP with 5 serving northern governors when GEJ decided to contest in 2015 because it was the norths turn is the same person wanting to retain power in the North after 8 years of northern rule. You see the double standard?

The Igbos blame Tinubu who was in opposition and whose life ambition was to remove the PDP from power for betraying Jonathan, then queue to support the one man that left the party with 5 serving governors that cemented Jonathan’s loss. Irony of life.

Someone will come to say there are still good women out there. Good women means the ones yet to get caught.

Friends talk about everything, sport, game, food, family, politics etc but somehow to be considered real they mustn’t make mention of sex!

99% of the time when a guy discuss sex with his friends, the girl being discussed isn’t his girlfriend. If you don’t want to come up in such discussions as a lady, make sure you only have sex within the confine of a relationship or don’t have sex at all.

If the discussion at hand warrants me to talk about my sex life, I would. If that makes me an unreal man, then so be it. If a woman talks about her sex experience with a guy, is she also an unreal woman?

You didn’t forget to block him on Instagram, you left that Chanel of communication open for possible reconciliation. Whether he slept with someone else one hour after breakup or one week after, he did not cheat on you, there was a break up.

When you chose to leave you opened up the possibility of that happening. What if he married someone else two months after the breakup? Is he suppose to consult you before having sex with another girl as a single man?

You are independent, good and all the other qualities you listed, how do you know the other girl isn’t just as good? His only fault was seeking to make up with you. Take your man for granted, another woman will declare him wanted.

A lot of ladies in loving marriages are also trying to leave their marriages. A loving man is not all there is to have a good marriage. In Nigeria, a lot of women aren’t married to their choice or spec.

A lady can get married to a man she has no atom of feelings with the hope that love will come when they get married, some women even say they don’t have to love the man, as long as the man loves them. I believe this desperation to settle down is the primary cause of infidelity among Nigerian women.

I believe one of the greatest show of love from a man to a woman is commitment. Any man who chooses to marry you as shown you love and care. The scarcity of male commitment out there proves this, the average man gives up a lot to commit to one woman, and most of the time we do it solely for you.

stunnert:


After the divorce, what's mine remains mine and what's yours remain your own. I ain't splitting shiii with any fvcking body

Prenups can be broken with a good divorce attorney, the court is the ultimate decider of whether you get to split shiii or not.

I see those comparisons as dumb. Nature already favoured the man.

The reason it looks like the society favours the woman is because we tend to be sympathetic to the plights of the ‘lesser’. You see a grown up man beating up a child, you take pity on the child and feel the need to favour him. A fan insults a celebrity 500 times, the celebrity claps back once, everybody blames the celebrity, they ask why he/she can’t ignore. A poor person insults a rich person it’s fine, a rich person insults the poor and he’s judged, he’s proud, why can’t he be humble etc. The society is always rooting for the underdog.

In the next life and the next after it I still will prefer to come as a man. The sheer strength, the brute force, the ability and willingness to take risk, survive, dominate are just some characteristics nature bestowed on men that I would rather have than getting favoured. Any man who thinks ladies have it better can bobrisky.

Did he give you a reason why he isn’t ready for ‘more’? When your relationship gets to the point where one person wants more and the other doesn’t is a good time to take a walk.

The relationship never remains the same, the laughter and the happiness in the relationship begin to slowly evaporate. The relationship become plagued with frequent fights, less energy, declining romance etc.

Usually the woman thinks the guy is being selfish and isn’t concerned about her feelings, the guy begins to question if she really wants him or she just wants marriage.

If he loves you and you him, I think you should have a discussion where you are not ‘demanding’ marriage but making him see reasons why settling down will be beneficial for both of you guys. If you are close to his parents, this is the time to be in their consciousness. Visit them often, buy little gifts and generally start acting like ‘our wife’. His parent will turn on the pressure on him to get married.

Nosayer:


That it happened in Canada does not mean it is right and neither does it exonerate Buhari. When we argue, it should be critical argument that is sound and not all these argument that only shows our subservient nature to slave master's driving the country to perdition.

And when you say "exaggerate our issues", do you mean that #Endsars was the only problem Nigeria had up till then?

I’m in no way trying to exonerate Buhari, neither am I saying it’s right because it happened in Canada. I’m comparing the news coverage of such incidences. End Sars was on almost every major news station in the world, who’s covering the Canadian version?

Where is Jack Dorsey? By exaggerate our issues, I mean we give press to every negative happening in the country. Someone who never lived in naija would think Nigeria is one very big jungle where nothing works. Even though some of our problems are not peculiar to us.

University of Lethbridge in Canada is currently on strike.

Canadian truckers have been protesting in Ottawa for almost a month now. The government of Canada froze their accounts and has been arresting protesters. The exact same way end sars protest was handled.

We don’t see these reports from ‘saner climes’ in the news. We Nigerians just love to over exaggerate our issues.

The Igbos in APC should support the Yoruba presidency now so when power returns to the south 2039 they would be supported by the Yoruba’s.

2023 is a game of influence, would the APC survive if Tinubu leaves with his SW governors? Less likely, would they survive if Okorocha leaves? Most likely.

Tinubu would approach the south south for their support and if he wins, by 2039 he will return the favour while Igbos keep lamenting it’s our turn.

Ask yourself why no Yoruba man contested in the 2015 APC primaries. Now that’s a bargaining tool for the Yoruba’s in the APC in the 2023 election. We supported you, you owe us.

I’m not a fan of Tinubu but from all indications the APC ticket is his.

How did you observe this? You go around asking men for sex?

If your girlfriend isn't sleeping with him already, it is because he doesn't want to sleep with her. Your gf definitely likes the guy. She could have sent this message to the guy privately, posting it without blocking you first also shows she has no respect for you, she doesn't mind losing you, especially as you previously complained to her about their friendship.

Your girlfriend knows you won't leave, she wields the power in your relationship, don't confront her about the message, just walk away. If you confront her, she will most likely dump you anyway. There is a feeling of self respect you get when you do the walking away, it shows strength and decisiveness. All the best on perhaps your first heartbreak, many more to come. Cheers son.

If she's demanding for it then it's not a gift lol, it's feeding her entitlement mentality. The guy nacking her, who will most likely not buy anything for her will lick the chocolate you buy for her off her nipples later at night.

I hope you advised her to be sending FFK something monthly for child support? She should not be a deadbeat mom.

Brand new relationships be like

Opeyemiextra:

I'm glad when I see comments like this. As long as it's possible that marriage should work, I have made up my mind and working it that mine would work and that should be the mindset. I see beautiful homes around me and it gives me hope. Are there bad ones? Of course, yes but that only encourages to work towards mine.

While this is very sweet and positive, you can’t speak in absolutes when dealing with other people. A marriage doesn’t necessarily have to be bad for people to want a divorce.

You can play your part in making your marriage work, can you play your partners part too? You can vow not to cheat, can you vow for your partner? You can choose to overlook his cheating, what if he wants to be with the person he’s cheating with?

It’s best to do your best but prepare for the worst, so if (and a very big if) the worst happens, you won’t be caught unawares.

While there are good marriages everywhere, missing someone isn’t an indication of a good marriage. Couples can hate themselves and still feel the absence of their partners.

The same reason people find it difficult to break bad habits, it becomes part of your identity that you don’t feel like you anymore if you stop doing it. People fight the entire duration of their relationships and still miss their partners when they breakup. Heck, if they never did anything fun together at all, they will miss not having someone to fight with.

Men in particular struggle to cope with change, the same reason most men take long to decide if they want to get married and take longer to decide if they want a divorce from a bad marriage.

A man can live in a one bedroom apartment all his life, drive one car for 25 years and be comfortable with it until a woman shows up in his life. First she wants to change his furniture arrangement, then upgrade to a bigger house, then a bigger one. Women are catalysts for change, good changes or bad changes, a woman never remains the same for long.

This is why many ladies feel trapped in marriages, you think you want to be married but you still want to live a kind of life that isn't accessible to the average married woman. I think women should get married in their mid forties after they get tired of the party lifestyle. Men should get married in their mid eighties, so they can suffer small and die. Her ex husband divorced her because she left their baby at home to party all night.

Wizkid is just like me, we prefer our women grown.

1) Anybody who knows how to turn #5,000 to #200m in 3 years won’t be on nairaland trying to sell it to people.

2) Any investment that guarantees a stable return isn’t taking risk factors into consideration. There can’t be rewards without risk. Therefore fake.

It smells like a Ponzi scheme or outright scam to me. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.

You saw someone dragging her ex all over social media, your sense didn't tell you such woman had no shame? she probably heaped all the blames on her ex and you swallowed it hook, line and sinker. You thought you could change her as the messiah that you are. Take your L in peace orobo.