A mother can be good to her children and be bad to outsiders. Let’s assume your mom is a teacher, she flogs her students and she’s seen as a witch to them, she pays your school fees with the money she makes from teaching. She’s a good hardworking mother to you.

So she’s a hardworking, loving and sacrificing mom to you but a witch to her students.

Intersexxsherry:
If na for naija woman wear that thing, her entire family will disown her

She no do reach Toyin Lawani. We are getting there.

Klass99:


The bolded is exactly the point I wanted to stress.

I hear you on everything you've said and I understand. When a relationship starts to get serious I bet you a woman who is well grounded and into you, would want to know more about you and may start to ask questions then. We also can't trust that you will be 100% honest.

Hell, some of us will even have you investigated before we get hitched, some of us will drop you like it's hot if we don't like the things we are hearing or seeing about you. For example I have a serious problem with dirty/untidy men and the ones who like to borrow money left, right and center with a mountain of debt trailing them.

Long story short, I understood you the first time and I still do even now.

It’s so nice we could come to an agreement without the gbas and gbos characteristic of this section. Thanks for showing Klass in your response (no pun). It’s a pleasure having a conversation with ya.

Klass99:


Please where is Eazzy? Something interesting happened I thought I should share with you based on the bolded parts of your post.

In 2020 an individual from here quoted me on a thread and said please can we talk privately I have sent you a PM. I quoted him back and said we couldn't have anything to talk about, as he had been previously rude and insulting towards me without any provocation on my part.

I ignored him/the PM, wasn't interested in anything he had to say because he has a Nairaland history of nastiness, insulting and demeaning female users (again without any provocation on their part)

Last night on a trending front page thread, I saw the baba say he has 3 kids from 3 different women and he doesn't give a damn about his baby mamas

I thought to myself what sane, decent and well put together female will not care about his sexual history or will want to hook up/marry this kind of person with all his baggage? Tufiakwa

This is not just his history, it is his present continuous future tense - as we say in English language (I don't think I got it right) but you sha get my drift na? Baby boy we care o and we worry about ending up with community preeks. By we, I mean the sort of woman I described above.

Lol Klass, maybe I should put things in perspective, what was on my mind when I wrote that statement ‘’ women aren’t as bothered about a man’s sexual history’’ was women do not go digging or asking questions about a man’s sexual past.

I have dated a couple of girls and only one girl ever asked if I cheated in past relationships. Only one. Nobody ever asked if I had a party, orgies, anal sex and what not. Every girl I have dated I have asked these questions, we could be watching a movie a lesbian scene comes up and I go Klass, you ever been with a woman? ever craved been with one?

Also, every time I tell a girl I have done this and that, they just laugh it off, call me brolosho, Ashewo kobo kobo etc it was never a big deal to them.

For the guy in your story, having 3 kids for three women and not caring tells more than sexual history, shows baggage, irresponsibility and like you said it’s present and maybe future behaviour. Same way I won’t classify a girl having three baby daddies as sexual history.

You can truly love someone for their money.

That is the child’s problem. I get my own problem.

[quote author=Klass99 post=105776354]

No Eazzy, you guys cannot handle it . Let's not even begin to bullshit ourselves about this.

In the course of my NL sojourn and history I have seen too many threads and posts by men which speaks to the fact that you people cannot handle it.

Common text/chat messages you see on your girl's phone alone, you people will begin to hyper-ventilate .


Lol.. Tega’s husband is a man o, he’s handling such right now. Kpokpogiri is a man o, a guy went to Tonto’s room at 2:30am and the next morning Tonto told him what a night, she then deleted the chats, he gave her a second chance.

Many men forgive their partners past and even present indiscretions, you just never hear about these stories.

Anyways Klass you are digressing from the topic, most men will hyper-ventilate at a cheating woman because most guys go into relationships for the sex, so it hurts them to know that someone else can have the sex with you without having the burden of a relationship.

Don’t take my word for it, whenever a guy asks to date you, present him with the choice of casual sex/ friends with benefits and see if he insists on a serious relationship.

greenie77:


Best is both come into the relationship with little or no baggage.

I wasn’t saying otherwise in my writing, you have been on this section long enough to start seeing everything from the male vs female perspective.

I should have said in my experience women do not worry about a man’s sexual history, I have never been with a woman who was inquisitive about how many sexual partners I had in the past, if I had one night stands, if I had threesomes etc.

Klass99:


This (the bolded in particular) just goes to show that you men cannot handle half the shit you do or dish out. But, we already knew that (some of us though)

Lol we can handle it if you give us the choice to handle it. Lying about your past doesn’t give a man the choice to accept you or not. Lilian left Ubi because she found out he had a child before they got married, how he thought he could take that secret to the grave still remains an unsolved mystery.

Women aren’t as bothered about a man’s sexual past as a man is bothered about a woman’s. Not telling or lying when asked can bring hurt to the relationship in future. A man finds out you did things even 10 years before he met you can change his mind towards you 20 years later. Would you rather lose a budding relationship or the family you have invested years to build?

Telling when not asked makes the man open up to you too, it builds trust as you didn’t have to tell him, most men overlook when they are told vs when they find out, telling puts you in a position to craft the story to your advantage. Two people can keep a secret only when one is dead.

If there’s anything I have learnt it is that we live in a small world, the person who did the abortion for you may be your sister in-laws colleagues husband.

We F*ck this.

Annie is the toxic one. Sane people walk out of unpleasant situations e.g Lilian Esoro left Ubi, till today nobody knows why she walked, Anita, Paul's wife walked too, no drama, no public show of shame. What did Annie expect after insulting her husband and his family online?

Sensible people know this for a fact, you can't control people, you can only control yourself. If something threatens your peace of mind, remove yourself from the situation. The only catalyst to a genuine change of behavior from Tuface would be the fear of losing Annie. If 2face continues to hang out with Pero despite Annie's objection then he doesn't mind losing Annie and that's because Annie isn't worth been afraid to lose.

The main culprit in this story isn't Annie or Tuface but marriage in itself. Marriage breeds familiarity and familiarity breeds contempt.

I can relate. Last week Friday when I was going out, one girl ran mad from smoking colorado, she undressed in front of me and many guys and we didn’t cheat.

OP you are capping, Nigerian girls never come for just sex. No matter how good looking or wealthy you are, the average naija girl will come for commitment even if you have someone already.

EcomPlus:


Till now, as a married man I have 4 married ladies that are my besties.

Our friendship started way back from secondary school where we created a study group together. Though thoughts of sex do arise, but we have already established a boundary & we stuck to it till now.

It’s a matter of time you will Bleep one or more of them. Married man having female besties should not be chastising anybody. If the girls are married I’m sure their husbands are not down with the bullshit friendship.

Why are they coming after him? Is he the married one? He doesn’t owe anybody any loyalty. He’s just a coward locking his page. The likes of cee-c and tboss got worse bashings.

90% of the bashers will do the exact same thing Tega and Boma did given the opportunity.

The one with the bigger yansh

Congrats to the bride, best of luck to you.

Two married women and two married men have been sent to the bbn house.

First married man - Thin tall Tony cheated
Second married man- Mike Adeyemi stayed faithful.

First married woman - Ka3na cheated.
Second married woman - Tega cheated.

From this analysis 100% of married women and only 50% of married men cheat.

Yet men are the scum.

Women are not more skilled than men in cheating. When I was in the world, it was me who remind my affair partner to delete their chats and call logs.

Basically the guy has to exercise maximum caution for 2 major reasons.

1) If she gets caught and kicked out, the burden of being committed will be on you.

2) you don’t know the extent to which her man will go to deal with both of you. Her guy may be a cultist or know people that know cultists. No one wants to die for nothing.

Another reason why it seems girls don’t get caught is because girls don’t have to lie about their relationship to cheat. A girl will tell you she loves her man but still ride you like a bull. You are careful when texting or calling, you make sure she is the one with the phone and she’s comfortable before you start flirting.

Most guys lie to cheat, so the side piece has no idea about the existence of their gfs. Side chick sends messages or call or sends nudes when gf is viewing pictures on her man’s phone. Bursted.

Button line is women aren’t smarter cheaters. The men still do all the work to keep the relationship secret.

1) At a neutral venue - once a guy and girl agree to set up a meeting at a motel/hotel. They both are in agreement to have sex. 100 percent of the time they have both planned and consented to having sex before choosing a location.

2) A babes room - Girls do not invite guys they don’t trust to their houses/apartment. Once a girl invites you over, it is very likely that sex will happen.

3) A guys house - A girl can visit a guy just for netflix, to use his wifi, to find somewhere to go because she doesn’t want to stay at home. A guys place is the least likely on your list for sex to happen.

Aurelius1:
In Delta State, a man who secretly forgives a cheating wife and continue eating her food and making love to her won't live to see the next 3 months. If he must forgive, the woman must confess with her own mouth and a sort of prayer/cleansing is done. If not, the man will surely die. I've seen countless number of cases.

https://www.nairaland.com/4488657/how-cheating-wife-led-husband/4#70475550

Lol, sorry I don’t believe this. I lived in Abraka for a short while and there were a lot of cheating wives. They also say if a child makes an adult fall down the child has to make a sacrifice before the adult gets up, all of which were mere traditional myth.

Even if it were true, a woman will prefer her husband dies than confess to adultery.

prettypraise:
Work on yourself, stop cheating, and then you can earn others not to cheat. If a married woman cheats, she should be forgiven and loved again. This is what God wants you to do as a man. If your wife cheats, try to fix the issue, go for counseling, pray for her and love her again.... Learn to forgive cheating. You can do it. Ask God for grace.

Many men forgive their cheating spouses, they just never talk about it. It’s a woman’s thing to announce to friends, family, church and social media that her husband is cheating before she forgives. Men on the other hand just forgive and never mention it to anybody.

This is why you think men do not forgive their cheating spouses, you hardly hear of it.

Nothing can keep a woman who doesn’t want to be kept. Whether you she fell in love with your money or your qualities, she can decide to leave whenever she wants. Money will help you replace her faster tho.

Rude boy probably has 5,000 girls in his dm trying to continue where estranged wife stopped. That’s the power of money.

You can’t spike anything. The longer you are with a person the less frequent the sex is. When you meet a new girl, just looking at her will get you an erection, just sitting next to her will make you Hot. Once she becomes yours and sex becomes regular then the decline hits, she no longer makes you Hot. You only have sex when there’s an urge for it.

It also doesn’t help that women hardly initiate sex, over time men get tired of being the only ones asking for sex and that takes a toll on sex life. If frequent sex is a priority in your life don’t get married.

A wise man once said ‘’if you want to stop having sex, get married’’.

Obviously he serves himself at home and that’s what she’s used to. A simple ‘honey can you dish out my food’ will suffice. You will dish out your own food if hunger catch you.

Even your next relationship will end up been boring after a while, if your partner doesn’t give you problems just enjoy the boredom or find a way to make things spicy. You can’t rely on a girl to make the relationship fun, that’s a man’s responsibility.

mariahAngel:


You wan die?

The husband and the side chick never die na . I like to help out where I can. I’m doing the Lord’s work.

Text me, let’s cheat on him back . 50 50.

When Kcee was popping, he denied been married, he called the woman his sister. Now that career has hit rock bottom he remembers they are married.

You are using the word owe wrongly, if I lend you money, you owe me and I’m fully entitled to what you owe me. Owing and entitlement goes hand in hand.

Your grandmother is a good woman but that doesn’t me she owed them, she did what she did because she wanted to do it, she did not have to. Nobody would compel her if she didn’t do it.

To your example about Obi Cubana, let’s assume he sent the brother abroad to study, the brother was caught sniffing coke and got deported, he got a job for the brother, the brother wouldn’t show up so he got fired. He then put his brother on 150k allowance per month but that wouldn’t maintain bro’s lifestyle, bro wouldn’t get a job. After two years of collecting allowance bro comes with a plan, goes to Obi and says he needs #5m to execute his idea, but Obi knows bro is a black hole, the money will disappear so Obi says a resounding NO. Bro comes to nairaland to cry that his wealthy brother wouldn’t give him #5m for his idea, people tell bro you are 33 years old Obi doesn’t owe you anything, then you, from nowhere start getting angry.

Most entitled people only speak out when the giving stop, they don’t recount how much they have collected. So my question to you is when does owing you sibling stop? or is it forever? You have to budget a cut of your pay to give the sibling who got the same education and opportunity you got but who has chosen to be useless.

OP in one word you have/had sexual feelings towards your sister. I think the feeling is still there, you would have had sex if she didn’t hit you when you smooched her.

Your obsession with your sister shows that the feeling may still be there, your sister is staying in her lane so you wouldn’t get the wrong impression. I’m sure before that incident you were very close and that was what made you think she had sexual feelings for you. The boundaries she has established are very healthy.

I have heard of people who had sex with their cousins and they all started from talking, playing and been too close till it happened. It wasn’t preplanned.