OP in one word you have/had sexual feelings towards your sister. I think the feeling is still there, you would have had sex if she didn’t hit you when you smooched her.

Your obsession with your sister shows that the feeling may still be there, your sister is staying in her lane so you wouldn’t get the wrong impression. I’m sure before that incident you were very close and that was what made you think she had sexual feelings for you. The boundaries she has established are very healthy.

I have heard of people who had sex with their cousins and they all started from talking, playing and been too close till it happened. It wasn’t preplanned.

Cuddling

Amakaoyekachi1:
Hello Nairaland people, I am in a serious dilemma, I am a legally married woman who is based in Nigeria and married to a Nigerian student in Canada, I have been unable to reach him for several months now, no communication whatsoever, his family members are not doing anything regarding the situation on ground, I am really worried on what could be the situation of things over there, he will be done with school in less than 4months. Please what could be wrong? He has promised to call for me soon, so I am surprised I cant reach him for this long. I really want to see my husband. This situation at hand as made me depressed and I have been unable to function. What do I do? Please help!

I think your husband has moved on. When I was in school, I had a mate who was newly wed, he had a daughter just few weeks before he left naija. He met a Chinese chick and they moved in together, after school he went back home to divorce his wife. He’s married to the Chinese chick now.

Your man isn’t dead, if he was his family would have told you. He’s most likely moved on. For him to ghost you tho, I hope he hasn’t heard anything bad about you? Hope you haven’t been busy with another man since he left the country?

Anyways, I hope you’ve heard from him now. All the best. Cheers.

Nifemy4:
I am 31 year old , with a first degree in biochemistry , I don’t speak french neither do I have anyone in Canada .
I tried applying for the Canada express entry but it seem like an uphill task , I haven’t written iETlS yet . But it seem like by forecast I may not be meeting the score for the selection .

Kindly advise , what additional certification can I add up to raise my projected score if all things been equal . thank you

The biggest point givers are work experience, education and IELTS.

Get work experience, get a masters degree or study hard for the IELST, the exam is very very easy, lots of Nigerians do no like taking the exam, I have done the exam twice and they were really simple.

Also even if your point isn’t up to the cut off, you can still get a provincial nomination if your skills are in demand in certain provinces. The province nomination will boost you up 700 points.

If all these fails, you may want to consider the education route, apply for a study permit instead.

Sleeknigga:
In
Its small boys like you ppl that want to marry your agemate but wetin elder sees lyingdown pikin no fit see am even he climbs palmtree

I won’t marry someone who was born when I was 21 year old. If you like call me tata, I don’t want to see what an elder sees lying down biko. Let me remain on the palm tree.

To the OP, too much for who? Is the gap too much for you? Or for society? If you are fine with it carry on.

For me it’s too much, I can’t have my wife’s friends kneeling to greet me.

I don’t want to be called bros or sir by her friends husbands.

Our interests will be so unaligned that there will always have to be a compromise. Our ways of handling issues would be totally different.

Because you are a decade and half apart, you may not appeal to her fashion wise, she wants you to wear things you aren’t comfortable in or vice versa.

It may be tough to know if she’s with you because she really likes you or because you are due for marriage and she wants to get married.

By the time you are 50 she will be 35 hmmmm.

If I have lots of money and I want a trophy wife then I could consider 15 years gap, if not the chances that she will cheat with someone within her age group is very high.

Whether you have good intentions or not, talking about feelings with a minor makes you a shameless man. If you don’t want people to pressure you into marriage, stay away from relationships till you are ready to get married.

What kind of friendship would a 32 year old man be having with a 16year old? you are grooming a child for your own sick pleasure and proud of it.

For you the lady, just because he later married you doesn’t stop your husband from been a paedophile, I hope you watch his activities around children. You were groomed, he didn’t give you a choice because you were incapable of making a choice at that age, you may need years of intense therapy to understand the damages done to you.

I wonder where the girl’s parents are in all of this. If you are above 18, come close to my 16 year old daughter, I will feed your pinni to the dogs. Spits.

‘’When a guy fumbles, they say boys will be boys. When a girl fumbles the exact same fumble, they say she is wayward or wasn’t raised well’’

‘’ I do think that the tide is changing with this generation, more women are realizing that they are more than what the society expects them to be’’

From her write up it is unclear whether she’s advocating for more training for the boys or less training for the girls.

I do think this rhetoric of girls being better raised than boys has been repeated so much it’s starting to sound believable.

The writer wants women to stop being labelled wayward for sleeping around just as men aren’t labelled wayward for fumbling the same fumble.

Men are the most delighted with the changing tide of this generation. A girl’s fumble or waywardness or rebellion against societal expectations is almost every man’s dream come true.

It’s not in my place to ‘allow’ or ‘disallow’ the decisions taken by an adult. If he’s good enough for her, he’s good enough for me.

How did he find out she visited her ex?

You have stated the pros for the relationship, good sex, hotel runs, gifts, money. The con you stated (spiritual repercussion) is only in your imagination.

It’s bad to advise someone to give up on something that pays them without providing an alternative. Give your brother a single girl who can give him what the married woman is giving him and he may consider.

Asides the physical benefits your brother is enjoying from the relationship, there is a mental benefit inherent in this relationship; Your brother now knows the kind of woman not to marry or what not to do in a marriage to avoid a cheating wife.

PS: your brother isn’t your business, does he tell you who you can and can’t date? His relationship is not illegal, he’s not a minor and he’s not bleeping a minor. Let him be.

If it’s your money she’s using, stop giving her money or reduce what you give her. If it’s her money let her be.

I don’t take advise from people as to how to spend the money I worked for, neither do I give advise to others.

She’s going to stop telling you about her money moves if you keep acting like you are the only one who knows what to do with money.

Your wife isn’t a child stop being aggressive with her, she will soon start returning the aggression, then what? You will start pummeling her?

Will bothering give him a job?

chatinent:



So, fam, what do I do?

Interview her. Dele Momodu

Someone is looking for 50k to balance his rent, you are telling him to give you 15k out of the one he has? What if they don’t pay you before he needs the money? He’s looking for ways to add to the money, you are looking for ways to reduce it.

You were very wrong to demand 15k from his yet to be complete rent. I would have reacted way worse than he did.

In Timaya’s mind now, the recharge card money in his bank account can stop his wife from cheating. Small wizkid will kolobi his babe neat.

Men, don’t let anyone fault you for a cheating partner. There is always someone better than you in this life. Just hope your wife doesn’t jamb one that’s interested in her.

The strong desire to make money is how people become rich. Wanting it and being ready to do whatever it takes to get it.

We should plant these desire in the heart of our young, teach your children how to set money aside, reward them in cash for exceptional service rendered. E.g. your child cleans the house, give him #500 for a job well done, that way you teach them the value in hard work.

Bake cookies with your children, take the cookies to work, give them to your colleagues. Bring #2000 back home for your kids, tell them you sold the cookies at work, that’s the birth of entrepreneurs.

If parents stressed the importance of hustling to their kids as they stress the importance of a formal education, we would all be rich by now.

The question can also be substituted with “why is it easier for an employee to forgive his employer than it is for an employer to forgive an employee?

It’s because there are more employees than employers. An employee will have a harder time finding another job than an employer would have finding a replacement.

If the man has other good sides, most ladies would rather manage the cheating because it’s tough to get a man to commit and even tougher to get a faithful man.

So you asked your friend’s babe out and you are telling us not to trust Nigerian girls, we should be more careful of Nigerian guys like you.

You didn’t even let him ask you out. You were not cheap, you were free . Free isn’t necessarily bad, some people cherish free things.

Change, money, connection.

In my opinion, a person sexual history should not be overlooked. Someone who has enjoyed a lot of casual sex do not just outgrow it or discontinue it, it may reduce due to lack of opportunities/chance/space but it never really goes away.

If emotional freshness kept relationships, we would all be married to our first gf/bf. Just like most employers wouldn’t hire someone without experience, relationship experience is very important.

You learn to handle certain issues in relationships from actually being in one. Your last relationship ended because you were proud, you know how to act in the next one. Your last relationship broke up because you were a flirt, you know better in the next.

All my next relationships were an improvement on the previous, I dated a flashy girl who had 1million admirers, my next gf was a little less ‘hot’ and a lot less extroverted.

mariahAngel:


You reason like a child.

For the respect I use to have for you, I will pretend I didn’t see this.

Sterope:
Go and debate science

I believe in reality not science, science is a bunch of opinions.

OyinNurse:


That is the mystery of childbirth and the love between a man and a woman. Believe me, women do not exaggerate the pain of childbirth, but once the baby is placed in her arms, that sweet bundle of joy and the deeper love that develops between herself and her partner makes it all worth it.

Hmmm.

Sterope:
They don't exxagerate the pain. It is a pain that you forget. You know what it feels like but you will still go through it again.

Lol. Women have more pain tolerance than men. You won't be ble to do anything for a year

Lol I’m pretty sure if someone was to punch you and I in the face, only one person will cry and it won’t be me. Only in theory do women have more pain tolerance.

Arsenate:

Lmao, crack me up but I'm inclined to agree with you. Men don't make a fuss about things like that. I mean we work hard to feed our families and we do not rub it on our women's faces. We've been doing that for thousands of years. On the other hand, we know how Women (the very few) treat their spouses when they have to do that for a few weeks.

Bro you know na, everything is tough for a woman, especially married women. When man fell from grace God cursed one with childbirth labour and the other with work labour, somehow one decided they were going to joggle both curses.

With the current crop of complaining mothers we have these days, the number of mother’s day we have in a year should be reduced.

How can child bearing be like dying and going to heaven but you have 4 children? You like dying and going to heaven? I think women exaggerate the pain to men just because they know we will never get to experience it.

If men could give birth, we will give birth and 12am and be in the club at 12:30am same day.

The husband may be the over trusting type who has no clue about what is happening. The wife may have introduced the other guy as a family member e.g cousins. The other man may also be a real family member, some nack themselves.

If you want to do something about it, get close to the husband and find out from him who the other man is, you would be surprised he’s even the husband’s relative.

To your question, yes people may not mind their partners playing away, but it’s rare for the playing to be in their matrimonial home.

Lol. Are you saying all single mothers are whores?

1) One of the sole reasons why people go the baby mama route is because they know marriage isn’t a guarantee of exclusivity. They have a child and that’s it, the woman is free to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. A BM fvcking another man won’t hurt, a wife fvcking another man is like the end of the world.

2) Most Baby mama’s try their best to be in the good books of their baby father. They hope the relationship will lead to marriage and that hope keeps them on their best behaviour. When people are seeking for something they tend to be nicer than the people who got them easily.

Just like you said about wife’s, a man who gets a compatible baby mama won’t have problems either. Baby mama, baby daddy can also be a complete family. Just without the encumbrances of a signed document, easier entry and easier exit if things do not pan out well.

OP you didn’t extend your invitation to rapist? Jk.

Two people can have a sexual encounter, one leaves feeling raped, the other leaves thinking it was consensual.

When I was in SS2, I had a friend let’s call him Deola, smart good looking guy. Deola wrote Waec and Jamb in SS2 and passed, he went to the university while we were going to SS3.

During his holidays Deola would visit us at school, drive to school, come to class, chat with teachers etc. With that level of success, females in my class expectedly all wanted Deola.

One Saturday, myself and two other classmates went to play PS1 at Deola’s house, a female classmate, let’s call her Chioma also came visiting. We were in Deola’s room all 5 of us. Deola soon started touching Chioma while we were all present, she felt uncomfortable for a while then gave in. After about 20 mins of touching and kissing, he started taking off her clothes, she felt uncomfortable again but gave in. They then started having sex, like 8 mins into the sex, Dammy one of the guys with us then went there and started touching Chioma too. Fast forward both guys slept with Chioma. After sex she shyly left the house.

We finished Waec and I got admission myself, two years later Chioma got admission to my school, as a senior student, I showed Chi around, helped with her courses etc. Chi started liking me, I didn’t like her back because I liked someone else. One day she decided to express her feelings towards me, she then asked “why don’t you love me? Is it because I was raped? I didn’t understand, raped? How? Where? When? She replied “by your friends Deola and Dammy. Lol that was not rape I retorted, we went back and forth all day as to whether she was raped or not.

I have a feeling she will one day “come out” with her story about Deola and Dammy.