₦airaland Forum

Are you sure she’s saying the truth about the other guy? She doesn’t like him, yet she planned to visit him and he turned down the offer. Looks like the guy doesn’t like her or he’s tired of her.

Once he discovers she has a boyfriend and he isn’t obligated to marry her again, he will suddenly start liking her for something casual. Just be careful, most women usually fall back to ‘unserious’ men as soon as they get something serious.

It will shock you to know these are some of the women insulting him on social media, they would not mind being his third wife.

There’s no better way to die than dying from enjoyment.

1 million in the currency you earn and spend in makes you a millionaire. According to the world bank, to be categorized as wealthy, you would have a net worth of at least 1.8m USD.

How are you sure their wives knew what they made? especially since their earnings are variable. It would be tough to estimate what an artiste earns.

Some countries of the world operates on a household income principle. So when you file your taxes at the end of the year, your earnings would get exposed to your partner.

I think one of the major causes of divorce today asides infidelity is that most people aren’t appreciative of their partners. Everyone thinks they can do better and they deserve better. So people split to prove a point. Some people do better, most don’t.

Divorce isn’t all bad, most times it’s a learning curve. Most people become better in their next union, most people make better decisions in selecting their next partner too.

The only lessons to be learnt are;

1) If you don’t want a divorce, don’t get married.

2) if you get married, prepare to get a divorce.

With higher premiums, insurance companies will earn more and then pay more taxes, the taxes from these companies would be used to subsidize the cost of public transport for the poor.

It may be inconvenient but these premiums and taxes are very necessary, we say we want a working society, these minor inconveniences are the prices we have to pay to achieve one.

I would like to see increased taxes and duties on importation of luxury goods, increase taxes for car owners, home owners, high income earners etc. we must take from the rich for benefit of the poor. We can’t continue to depend on oil revenues if we must progress as a country.

About 10% of white women are attracted to and date only black men. About 30% of white women would date anyone, no preference at all, as long as the chemistry is there. The remaining 60% are only attracted to men from their race, they will go for a Brad with bald head and pot belly over a Denzel Washington.

Money, looks and other superficial attributes aren’t important factors in getting with most white girls. White people in general aren’t as money crazy as Nigerians.

It’s not always about racism. My choice of a life partner has always been someone from my race, nationality and tribe. Not out of racism, prejudice or tribalism. Just preference.

Why should there be a comparison? If I gave my girlfriend a $900 wristwatch, translated to about 486k and gave my mom 300k, you would consider it giving my gf more, but would my mom be happier with a Movado or would she prefer the 300k?

Keep in mind I gave my mom money every month of the year. My girl play a strategic role in my life, appreciating her once a while isn’t a slight on my mother. Plus my girl will give me something in return, my mom wont.

Unsolicited advise rejected!!!

OkwuEziokwu:
Prior to this, I was naive and told the guy everything. They all visited and I introduced them. I don't care who she likes. I rejected her. My qualms is with my "friend"/housemate.

With the more serious girl, introduced them as well because I want a strong core of friends. The number exchange was not an issue. His sister knows her. Omo, I don reason am and don follow my guys yarn. They all said it's strange and that I should be careful.

Well, you know your friend way better than I do. All the best with however you decide to handle it.

OkwuEziokwu:
The girl told me. This guy has shown dodgy behaviour before. Approaching him will show my hand don't you think?

The one about the bed, perhaps the girl is playing a game. However, as per my guy, he suppose insist sey e no fit happen, or even tell me wetin happen first.

I don’t think you would be playing your hands, I think you would be giving a friend the benefit of the doubt.

It is possible these girls downplayed their relationship with you to your friend. A woman would relegate her man to ‘nothing serious’ just to get with someone she likes. Maybe she told him you were nothing serious, you wouldn’t know until you talk to him.

How did he get the girl and her sister’s numbers in the first place? This is why I don’t like having any form of relationship with my friends girls. Asides regular greetings and small talks when we see, all these over familiarity usually doesn’t end well.

What informed your preference? I would think someone who chooses not to marry would want such because they would want the freedom that comes with being single.

Having a live-in partner would not be any different from a marriage, in some countries it is in fact a form of marriage.

Why not confront him? How did you find out he reached out to the first girl? From the girl right? She told her story, why not hear his? It could be your girls throwing themselves at him and he could be turning them down.

You saw him sleeping on the couch, you don’t know if the girl went to his room and tried to get cozy so he fled. I wouldn’t kill a long term friendship over some assumptions. Talk to him first.

Why not just ask for her pin? If she doesn’t give it to you that’s the only confirmation you need. I can’t be in a relationship where phones are off limits, if we can’t have access to each other’s phones we are just friends with benefits.

Sweetplum:
She said her story. Are you her?
Stop this.

I’m not quite understanding you, what exactly should I stop? she said her story to get opinions, to start a conversation right? You are not the OP, let her say I have said anything offensive and I would apologize for it.

Sweetplum:
See generalization. The lady cake out plain to explain herself. Men like you love lies

Love lies? How so? People date from within their circle, you can only choose from what’s available to you. If she has never liked someone who likes her, who’s she going to like?

There’s a difference between not wanting to date because you have other priorities and not liking anybody that has shown interest.

Although you are right on the generalization bit, I would think a 23 year old final year student would be getting a large number of “chykers” to not find anyone good enough, but this may not be her reality.

I don’t agree with the narrative that a woman not been married at a certain age is due to one fault or another, but as a final year student, if you haven’t met anybody you like or the someone you like never approached you then there’s a bit of a problem. You are picky, you are shooting your shots too high.

The get rich quick syndrome is usually common with high power distance societies like Nigeria. A society where the differences between the quality of life of the rich vs the poor is just abysmal.

In a country like Canada where a CEO and a cleaner can drive the same cars, have their kids in the same schools, live in the same neighborhood etc. the get rich syndrome isn’t as compounded.

My mentor would say, whenever you see a rot, ask yourself how did I contribute to it? The tweeter is probably a nairalander calling boys broke, she probably treats sales girls and madams differently, she probably only respond to the dms of guys who look rich etc. Everyone is trying to come up to be treated better.

That’s a code for telling you he wants to sleep with you. No man thinks he needs help from womanizing except a married man who gets caught.

He’s either indirectly telling you he wouldn’t be womanizing if he had a girl like you in his life or he’s indirectly telling you a lot of girls like him and you would too. Looks like a tactic I would have used some ten years ago.

Except you are a therapist, the only way you can be of help is to be DTF.

She did the right thing. Most of the time when girls do the asking out it ends in a casual relationship, if she wants something more serious than just sex, which I think she does, she has given you a blinding green light.

If you feel same way she feels about you, you wouldn’t mind asking her out. You want to get her in a situation where she will start asking ‘what are we now’ after six months of knacks.

Would you dance with other girls if your girlfriend was present at the party? Whatever you can’t do in her presence shouldn’t be done in her absence.

Dancing a few metres apart isn’t bad, rocking and touching body is bad.

Nebes:
Financial misfortune for a man is a different situation. We're referring to women who do not want their men to be successful even a little bit.

A woman not wanting her man to be successful does not stop her man from being successful, wishes are not horses. How many men would be with the woman they are with if they were more successful?

There is a reason why a woman would not want her man to be successful or more successful than she is, and most times it stems from insecurity, not diabolical practices. It’s also a general human tendency, like someone pointed out earlier, there are men with the same outlook towards life. Would you call them diabolical?

It’s mostly connected to insecurity, the guy they are with is basically perfect except for his finances, they think if he gets money he definitely wouldn’t be with them or he would cheat on them, or his character would change. A change in their partners finances would alter their relationship dynamics.

I really do not see a problem with women holding things down, as long as it doesn’t breed disrespect. Men should learn to allow themselves get taken care of.

You don’t need to have a penis to make money, you don’t need one to spend money either, if your woman makes more and is willing to do the spending, let her.

Is this your first breakup? If yes, it’s a lesson to give you the strength for future heartbreaks, if no, how did you move on from the previous ones? recall the techniques of the past.

First, know there’s no one above breakfast, if the likes of Bezos and Gates could get served, who are we mortal men?

Secondly, be empathetic. Know she didn’t leave to hurt you, she left to please herself. Except you are an enemy of progress, you won’t wish to stand in her way of happiness. It’s left to you to make her look back in future and regret the decision of ever leaving you.

Thirdly, There’s nothing you can do to ease the pain, the more you want it gone the more it hurts. You aren’t only angry that she picked someone else over you, you are angry that you are angry and can’t move on, that’s double anger. Let one go.

It’s okay to be pained, time is your greatest ally, just keep living. In four months time you definitely wouldn’t be hurting as you are now, in 12 months time you probably wouldn’t remember how she looks anymore.

She’s right, but there are several other reasons why a man wouldn’t want to commit to a single mother. If na by toto, most guys wouldn’t turn down sex because you have children.

People are allowed to have standards and choices, it doesn’t make them local boys, primitive or ignorant.

MrBrownJay1:
having sex on these shows is the norm, thats what makes the ratings go through the roof, thats what all the VOYEURS (who watch these BS shows) want to see. the organisers know that and thats why they will never get a burqa wearing babe or a holier than thou bible pushing person on these shows.

the sluttier you are, the more chances you have of being famous through these BS shows, because remember, people dont go there to have self control, they go there to win the big prize.

They had married women on the show, Bambam who was a holier than thou bible pushing person, Khalid was a devout Muslim, yet they still had sex, this is how most young people live, we don’t just have cameras following us around.

When I went for NYSC, some people started talking when they met at the bus park, they smooched all the way till we got to camp, we got to camp on the first night and people were already cuddling up, we stopped at a park to eat and rest, some people exchanged numbers with the occupants of other buses and after camp they travelled down to have sex. The only difference was there was no camera on them.

When people of opposite gender exist in close proximity, this is bound to happen.

Kobojunkie:
Nigeria no send anyone common law union. Na for that same Nigeria, the man's relatives go label those children bastards if that man waka tomorrow leave there mama.

The two need to make their union official, if at least for the sake of the children. If they can at least agree to register it at the court's for now, hurdle crossed.

Someone would have to take a stand to make Nigeria send it, Nigeria did not send women wearing trouser some 15 to 20 years ago, now almost every woman wear one. I’m not saying making the union official is bad, I’m saying there’s nothing wrong with what they have now.

The relatives who would label the children bastards because the father left are unreasonable and their unreasonableness wouldn’t change because they made union official.

They are married, they are in a common law union. They have a family, what are the benefits of collecting list? how would collecting list benefit their union?

There are people who collected list and bought heaven and earth whose marriage didn’t last one year. If two people agree they want to be together, what’s the hullabaloo about doing a rite? they should collect the money and use it for productive ventures.

Obasanjo had the power to make an Igbo man VP in 2007, he chose a south southerner. One thing is for sure OBJ will not support someone he can’t control. As soon as GEJ became uncontrollable he started sending open letters and later withdrew his support.

OBJ knows from experience he can’t control Atiku or Tinubu. It’s all about control for baba.

What you’ve gone through is the norm in most relationships. Some people are in the same situation as you but haven’t found out yet. I have a buddy who is based in Australia, he visits Dubai twice a year and he organizes women from Nigeria to join him, most of them are married, engaged or in relationships.

Your relationship is temporary, even when you marry, someone else could take her. Whatever you would regret doing for her if you find out she’s cheating, don’t do it. Imagine how much you spent on her and her brother, if you saved that money as back up fund you would have something to fall back to when your business took a hit.

Antyxx:
Thats not the only reason i left him

Good for you then! I dislike entitled people too. You feel sad for him because you care, you love him and that’s ok, nobody stays for 8 years if the love wasn’t there. As long as communication has stopped, moving on will be easy. Just give it time. You don’t have to do anything to get over him, just keep on living without him and you will adapt to your new way of life with time.