How can child bearing be like dying and going to heaven but you have 4 children? You like dying and going to heaven? I think women exaggerate the pain to men just because they know we will never get to experience it.

If men could give birth, we will give birth and 12am and be in the club at 12:30am same day.

The husband may be the over trusting type who has no clue about what is happening. The wife may have introduced the other guy as a family member e.g cousins. The other man may also be a real family member, some nack themselves.

If you want to do something about it, get close to the husband and find out from him who the other man is, you would be surprised he’s even the husband’s relative.

To your question, yes people may not mind their partners playing away, but it’s rare for the playing to be in their matrimonial home.

Lol. Are you saying all single mothers are whores?

1) One of the sole reasons why people go the baby mama route is because they know marriage isn’t a guarantee of exclusivity. They have a child and that’s it, the woman is free to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. A BM fvcking another man won’t hurt, a wife fvcking another man is like the end of the world.

2) Most Baby mama’s try their best to be in the good books of their baby father. They hope the relationship will lead to marriage and that hope keeps them on their best behaviour. When people are seeking for something they tend to be nicer than the people who got them easily.

Just like you said about wife’s, a man who gets a compatible baby mama won’t have problems either. Baby mama, baby daddy can also be a complete family. Just without the encumbrances of a signed document, easier entry and easier exit if things do not pan out well.

OP you didn’t extend your invitation to rapist? Jk.

Two people can have a sexual encounter, one leaves feeling raped, the other leaves thinking it was consensual.

When I was in SS2, I had a friend let’s call him Deola, smart good looking guy. Deola wrote Waec and Jamb in SS2 and passed, he went to the university while we were going to SS3.

During his holidays Deola would visit us at school, drive to school, come to class, chat with teachers etc. With that level of success, females in my class expectedly all wanted Deola.

One Saturday, myself and two other classmates went to play PS1 at Deola’s house, a female classmate, let’s call her Chioma also came visiting. We were in Deola’s room all 5 of us. Deola soon started touching Chioma while we were all present, she felt uncomfortable for a while then gave in. After about 20 mins of touching and kissing, he started taking off her clothes, she felt uncomfortable again but gave in. They then started having sex, like 8 mins into the sex, Dammy one of the guys with us then went there and started touching Chioma too. Fast forward both guys slept with Chioma. After sex she shyly left the house.

We finished Waec and I got admission myself, two years later Chioma got admission to my school, as a senior student, I showed Chi around, helped with her courses etc. Chi started liking me, I didn’t like her back because I liked someone else. One day she decided to express her feelings towards me, she then asked “why don’t you love me? Is it because I was raped? I didn’t understand, raped? How? Where? When? She replied “by your friends Deola and Dammy. Lol that was not rape I retorted, we went back and forth all day as to whether she was raped or not.

I have a feeling she will one day “come out” with her story about Deola and Dammy.

Ishilove:

You still did not answer my question. Let's say I'm tired of tasting your preek and I want to taste another man's own for a change, can I go ahead? I love you o, but I need a change of preek to relieve tension. Can I go ahead?

Ishi, since when do women need permission to cheat? Women cheat just as much as men do. Atleast men own up to cheating, women cheat then accuse the man for been the reason for her infidelity.

Having friends of the opposite gender.

She’s tested marriage and it didn’t work, she knows it would end in tears again. Casual relationships are the easiest. No fights, no boredom and total freedom. Simple, women want to eat their cakes and have it. I will suggest you stop shagging her.

The first time I heard women had issues with a man hanging his mum picture on the wall was on a Chris rock show.

He said “The only man that owns something is a single man. When you get married you own nothing, Absolutely nothing. Men if you think you own your house, hang your mama’s picture on the wall. It will disappear so fast, the next time you see it will be on your mums funeral. Your wife wife will be like babe see what I found cleaning out the room. You can use it for the obituary”

Except your MIL looks scary and is capable of inducing nightmares in kids, I see no reason why anyone should get mad about a picture.

Na lie. NDLEA just added the school children part to make the story sweet. How many school children can afford 1500 for three pieces of cookies?

I’m sure some guy/lady bought the cookies, took it home and left it carelessly, younger sister saw it and thought they were just cookies.

Most people who buy brownies know exactly what they are buying. A crime is a crime anyway since weed is still illegal in naija.

You are doing exactly the same thing you are accusing them of doing. Asking where you live does not mean I’m coming to nack you.

You are misinterpreting an act of care.

It’s women nature to worry, that’s why they age four times faster than men. If he makes more than her she will worry he may be cheating. There’s always a reason to worry with women. Afishe ni.

Ahan, kilode? Why are all the comments deleted?

My answer will be yes.

A relationship where the man earns 40k and the woman earns nothing is more likely to last than one where the husband earns 500k and the woman earns 1m.

A relationship where the man is the sole or major bread winner has more chances of survival than if the tables were turned.

Bad bitches are Independent women. Girls in a relationship because they want to, not because they need to.

Sammmyyyy:


You have really valid points, actually, and I am sure she sees from your POV too.

Well, no one is pressuring you to marry. My stance is just that, while you wait, remember not to tie down a lady who isn't ready to wait with you with vain promises. Let her know from the scratch that you aren't ready, not at least in the next so so so years. Not that after 5 years of taking her through servitude, you'll now come out to tell her you aren't ready. That's what my post seeks to achieve.

Well, when i ask a girl out, i say would you be my girlfriend, I state my desire and leave it to her to agree or not. I do not tell her after two years of dating we would then get married. It is a girls prerogative to leave a relationship when her timeline for marriage does not fit the guys timeline. My point is marriage isn't the ultimate.

Do you know there was a study by durex that showed Nigerian women were the most unfaithful in the world? I think a big part of that report stems from the fact that Nigerian women will secure the bag of marriage before thinking of happiness. They end up pursuing happiness while married. The likes of Oprah and her partner have being together since 1986, as partners. Will Primadonna see an issue with that? Let me just state clearly that I would rather date a woman who has been in one relationship for 5 years than be with someone who has been in 10 relationships in 5 years because she keeps quitting after few months because the men aren't ready as Primadonna suggested women should do.

bottom line is when a woman finds the right man she should stick with him, have kids if she wants to. An unmarried baby mama and a divorced baby mama are both baby mamas. Marriage can end the exact same way a relationship can end.

Sammmyyyy:



You have valid points up there, honestly, and thank you for your honest submissions. Your last point there is what I will have to disprove, all the same . Me? Other people's relationships? You're mistaken alot. I have more than enough mangoes to fill my basket, talk more of ther people's issues. The only bond I mentioned in the write-up was mine, not anybody's.

Secondly, your notion of life, as that "... will count as a lesson to her in future." is ludicrously archaic. Some sacrifices are too weighty to bear, bro. Some lessons are best left unlearnt in life. For a naive lady who get deceived into commiting several abortions for her lover, and in the end, the young man jilts her when he discovers she cannot give birth anymore. Pray tell, what lesson can she learn there? And don't even say adoption or come with the rhetoric of "childlesness means nothing." Let's stop trying to sound western than the westerners themselves.

Well Sammmy, do you know there are women who never had an abortion in the past yet are childless? bottom line is life fvcks us all. You can do all the right things and still get knocked out by life. An example will be someone who mistakenly takes a lantern to pour fuel in the generator and get burnt vs someone strolling along the road innocently a tanker explodes and he get burnt. I also do not think any grown up lady can be deceived into getting an abortion, if a lady decides to get an abortion it is because she knows she isn't ready to have a child or she knows she can't afford to support the child alone. She chose to get an abortion for herself.

She can share her experiences with younger girls towing her path, that is the lesson. The same way women who didn't commit abortion yet are childless find children is the same way she would find children too. This isn't about been western, what else would she do? kill herself? she has to keep on living, learn from her mistakes and make better choices in future.

Primadonna,

Not every guy who isn’t ready for marriage goes clubbing every night, turn their heads at boobs or spend money like teenagers. There are upright guys who aren’t ready to marry. Let me use myself as an example;

When I started working, there was an opportunity open for assistant managers, the firm was opening a branch in India, an A.M would be offered 35% raise to go start up the Branch and be there for 6 - 18 months. The Person will earn Canadian dollars in India, accommodation provided etc it looked like a great opportunity to me, no A.M took the role. The major reason was they had families. That wasn’t a role I would have passed on even if I had a 2weeks baby or my marriage was just 3 weeks old.

The essence of my story is in Nigeria once a guy is working and a woman gets to her mid twenties they think they are ready to marry.

Three questions people should ask to determine readiness are;
1) Are you willing to sleep with only person for the rest of your life?
2) Are you ready to put someone else’s happiness over yours for the rest of your life?
3) Are you ready to forgive everything and anything?

Number 1 answer for me is yes. 2&3 are hell no. That’s why I’m not ready for marriage.

Sammmy,

1) You said you and the chick who came to spend the weekend at your place ‘will do all sort of things’ I interpret that to be making out, smooching? But you didn’t have sex with her because you didn’t want to hurt her boyfriend?

2) I thought only women pressured women into getting married, men are now joining the pressure gang? I think you should leave women matters for women.

3) You talk like women have an array of choices, they can just go to the market, point at a man who is ready to marry and take him home. The reason why women stay with men who are not ready to marry is the same reason men stay in dead end jobs, lack of options. If a better offer shows up they would leave.

4) There are lot of relationships far better than many marriages you see, is marriage the ultimate or happiness? A girl should leave a guy who cares about her, doesn’t cheat, great career, never hits her all in the name of searching for marriage? 90% of the time she won’t get such good deal elsewhere and after marrying someone else she will run back to his bed.

5) Lastly, learn to remove eye from other people’s relationships, you don’t know the half of it. Girls have the ability to weigh the pros and cons of their relationships, if the pro outweighs the cons they decide to stay but you only see the cons. Even if she’s being treated unfairly as you stated, it will count as a lesson to her in future. She knows what bad looks like now and she can do better with her next guy.

1) Self esteem boost. Screwing a married woman gives you the feeling that you are better than the woman’s husband. Women hardly cheat with someone beneath their partners standard.

2) No commitment relationship- eating your cake and having it. She’s married, not looking for a boyfriend, regular calls etc. You don’t easily get fwb situations with single girls, even if it starts she soon begin to want something more.

The message is if you don't want sex, stop wasting my time with chats and calls, i have other girls who wants sex.

Otiwaikuku:



Pls can you place their hits side by side,let's see how Timaya take have more hit tracks

All the songs on Timaya’s first album was a hit. By hit I mean the song made wave across the country. I don’t know of 5 Duncan’s song that were not collaborations. His songs also did not bang across Nigeria.

Some of Timaya’s hits Dem mama, cutlass, ogologoma, plantain seller, wata bam bam etc. Duncan’s PH first son, Dance for me.

Timaya has more hits but Duncan is a better, well rounded artiste.

Jeboy:
If you have treated her fairly, then you don’t have anything to worry about.
She will begin to appreciate you better if for any reason she didn’t do so in the past.

On the contrary if you haven’t been nice to her, fasten your seatbelt, the ride is about to get pretty bumpy.

Who is the judge of whether she’s been treated fairly or unfairly? Let me guess! She. One of the beauties of marriage is that it isn’t cast in stone, there’s an exit option. Your midlife crisis isn’t for me to manage.

If I marry a submissive woman and she does a 360 on me, the foundation on which the marriage was built is collapsed and the building can not survive.

Ngozi law is the female version of Okafor’s law, it states; A man once nacked can be reknacked at anytime, as long as he was nacked well. Scratch that, even if wasn’t nacked well. Even if he’s in a relationship or married because men are cheap.

They think they are champs but we just need someone to fulfil our desires without adding to our body count. The used thinking they are the user. Sisi Yewande at Mannabbq told me this.

Yes the law works because;

1) Women prefer sleeping with someone they have slept with before, that way there’s no increase in body count.

2) Women knows every guy wants the same thing, so instead of meeting someone new, going through the rollercoaster of loving and getting heartbroken, they rather go back to a known person.

At the end of the day it’s a win-win situation, you get excited you got to hit again (Okafor law), she’s glad her body count is still single digit (Ngozi law).

If you don’t marry her, she will tell her next boyfriend that she lost her virginity to rape. That will be her story and she will stick to it.

Find a way to chat with her, talk about what happened, make sure she agrees to the fact that she gave her consent then keep the chat for posterity sake.

Depends on what caused their issues. Most guys like to test their partners with space, break or breakup to see how their partners react. Maybe he wants her to apologize or show remorse for something she did.

He could also be done with her for real and just looking for an excuse to break up. So depends on how much she likes him, she can fight for the relationship or move it’s up to her.

The easiest way to get over a man is to get under another man. Enjoy the freedom singleness brings.

Why do you keep saying everybody knows? I heard about Tunde, Nuhu and Moyo for the first time three weeks ago when the story made it to social media.

From the initial accusations released by Tunde’s friends and Moyo’s counter there was nothing pointing to the fact that Tunde worked in FCMB, or that Nuhu gave them a duplex or that she was working in the bank before they got married not to talk of dating openly.

Except you know something we don’t know Tunde was a director of a micro finance bank.

Informing your mum is only courtesy. You are grown and you can do what ever you like. Tell her about the man like you are sure about what you want not like you are seeking her permission.

Just because Tunde died and was a victim of the story doesn’t mean he was a saint. There’s no way to know if Tunde slept with other married women or how many guys girlfriends he slept with.

There was a post about sleeping with married women created by one Skales, on that thread many guys indicated interest in doing same, many men praised him and called him Alpha.

I do wish Tunde rests in peace but this generation men and women we no dey try at all

Neither Moyo nor the bank MD committed a crime. If Moyo isn’t already a US citizen, this is her time to file for asylum. They won’t extradite her because extra marital affairs has never been a crime.

emorse:

Did you just say maternity test?

Yes I just did.

I thought about this too. Paternity and maternity test should be carried out on children at birth, this should be backed by law.

Just as routine test like genotype, blood group test, breathing test, hearing tests are carried out. This will stop child swap issues and paternity fraud.

Till this is passed into law every man has the sole responsibility to carry out the test as soon as the child is birthed.