₦airaland Forum

One day we will have a discussion about how someone can love you but isn’t willing or ready to settle down. These things aren’t mutually exclusive. Now you are looking for a sperm donor to just have kids and be happy, did you offer him this option? he’s not good enough to have kids and still be single?

You will never understand why a man would not want to settle down as the average man would never understand why a woman is always ‘desperate’ to get married.

To you what you have asked for is very simple, to him it’s not, it’s too much of a sacrifice and he chose his happiness over yours. You don’t have to worry about him, he’s definitely in a better space, nobody to nag him to death over getting married anymore.

Good on you that you made the decision to leave because your goals did not align. He will miss you too but the decision you made is best for the both of you.

Money is everything, all the values you mentioned can be bought with money. There will never be a shortage of poor people, so there’s no fear that there won’t be bricklayers and plumbers when you need to build a house.

You think people in low income jobs do what they do out of passion? for the value they provide? they wouldn’t leave if something better came up?

I don’t support shaming poor people but let’s not deceive ourselves, money is basically everything. Even the bible says money answereth all things.

Well, someone else did all the work for you. All you have to do now is play. You are a lucky bastard.

How can you say you are protecting the girl? 13 years from now, she’s dating someone, having sex maybe get pregnant then discovers she’s been dating her brother or cousin or worse her father.

We saw the news of how one nollywood actor was fighting for custody of his step daughter, who says that won’t be the same in this case? You are doing a disservice to the little girl and the two men involved in this case.

Of the four party involved only one person benefits from the continuous lies and that is the woman.

NothingDoMe:
You can always travel to meet people. Lol.

North is extremely dangerous now. They can't say they are continuing the program while excluding those states.

Lol not every graduate has the freedom and resources or luxury of time to travel to meet people. I do believe it should be optional. Even though most people would still opt to serve.

Majority of the people calling for the scheme to be scrapped are people who already served.

The prospect of meeting several graduates from different universities, the allure of being in a new place with new people and most importantly the promise of unrestricted socialization sex is just too enticing for people who haven’t served to want it canceled.

It should not be made mandatory, it should not be a prerequisite to get a job or government appointments. Let the people who want to serve do so and the ones who don’t forge ahead with their lives.

What’s a good wife to you? If your question is would she stop sleeping with people for money? The answer is NO, she won’t.

Marriage won’t change her, if she was a retired prostitute that would be a different thing as she would have voluntarily left the profession.

She will continue sleeping with people for money and she will continue catching feelings for her clients.

silverr:
One thing would keep leading to the other, it won't stop after sex. Many people even married their friends but any woman entering this arrangement is dumb, very dumb.

This is prostitution without payment A prostitute is a woman who engages in S*x or s*xual activities for payment in cash or in kind.
This op now is looking for a very high class prostitute but he has nothing to pay her with because everything he has, she has also... So he can't pay with cash and has stated that there won't be any payment in kind either.

Let's be realistic, a lady who ticks all these boxes will only have sex with you and not expect money or gifts because she's not thinking logically but emotionally. He obviously wants no mention of emotions here. What kind of sexual relationship thrives without an emotional influence if not prostitution?

Are you saying only prostitutes have sex? Are you saying girls don’t crave sex when they are single? Are you saying the ones who do are prostitutes? You know a girl can be waiting for mr right but having sex with someone because she wants to?

Just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean it’s not getting done. People have different needs at different points in their lives. If a no commitment relationship meets a persons need at the moment, that isn’t prostitution. It’s two people enjoying a friendship and sex.

silverr:
How do you know that this prostitution arrangement is what she wants?

Lol prostitution arrangement. There’s no prostitution here.

What’s the difference between a girl who has a crush on a friend and one thing is leading to the other? I think you don’t like the idea that a guy would approach you directly for such. You think it demeans you but many people in the world today are sleeping with their friends.

Ishilove:
He wants the benefits of a full relationship without the commitment. Talk about having your cake and eating it.

Are you saying there are no women who would want an arrangement like this? What is bad if two people who share interest in this arrangement go for it? They would both be eating their cakes and having it.

cococandy:
You’d be surprised
True. But off topic always strap up.
again you’d be surprised

meaning he would really want all that in exchange for nothing. So that would make me correct



Respect is foundational. In any kind of relationship. Casual, transactional, intimate, etc. respect should be mutual and is non-negotiable.

He said it himself, not gonna be more than fwb

You are very correct on the always strap up. Definitely respect is foundational, he would respect her decision, her choices. Your use of respect here I figured it to be, respect you give a committed partner not the basic respect for humans in general.

People choose to go into such relationships for many reasons, one of them is frequent breakups, you don’t have what it takes to just love anymore. There may be a trigger causing him to want this arrangement and there are girls who want the exact same thing. Sometimes people want to give their heart a break from heartbreaks.

cococandy:
@ bold, it may sound that way on paper.
But when and if OP meets the person who fits the bill, she won’t be qualified because

1)sHe doEsn’t hAve LOw boDy Count (insert clown emoji).
2) He will want her to not have any sexual interactions with other men but him. Yet he feels going into a committee relationship is too much.
3)Even with all the intelligence he requires, he still won’t respect her

Lol how did you deduce this from his post? Nairaland is not real life o.

1. If he’s looking for fwb, I doubt body count is a concern to him.
2. If I was in a casual relationship, I would want to know if my partner sleeps with other people, that’s material information in deciding whether to strap up or not. I don’t think he has the power to dictate to such woman what she does or doesn’t. At worst he would leave.
3. Lol she doesn’t necessarily need his respect, she’s there for a good time.

Many relationships like this has led to the real relationship. From his requirements he’s looking for more than just a casual lay. Maybe he’s looking to start slowly.

cococandy:
All this requirement to get what in return?

Your peniis?

He’s seeking someone who’s like minded, she gets to be in the kind of relationship she wants. Just like in traditional relationships where two people want to date and then date!

It’s not what you seek, it’s from where you seek and how you seek.

The kind of woman you described are big consumers of the casual relationship market. Many of them are single and for obvious reasons; she’s too busy to hold a meaningful relationship, she’s too selective of the kind of people she dates, she’s unlucky in love as her success repels some men, she’s comfortable and does not need any relationship drama. With all these she’s still human and has sexual needs and she would have them met.

Nairaland is a wrong place to seek something like this, not because they don’t exist here but it’s an anonymous platform for a reason. You could put them on blast in future over a disagreement.

You would have more success with what you seek if you asked for friendship, when they see ‘how you roll’ the benefits portion would work itself out. When girls want such relationships they just sleep with their friends or their exes, they are usually not looking for someone new for that purpose, if it happens with a new guy it’s usually spontaneous.

Your requirements for just knacks are a little over the top though, are you seeking a potential relationship but aren’t ready to be serious right now? why do you require intelligence for knacks?

They can’t accuse him of collecting 30k, they can’t ask him ‘suffer no dey tire you’? So they say it’s for his business interest. What business man will openly support a politician who isn’t guaranteed to win? One day we will all learn that the ‘best candidate’ is subjective.

What kind of precedence would we be setting if a Northerner is allowed to take over after 8 years of Northern rule? after Atiku’s 8 years, the northerners in APC would say only a northerner can defeat the PDP and we would continue to have Northerners in power until they are kind enough to take pity on the southerners.

Atiku himself left the PDP in 2015 because he thought it was the turn of a Northerner to complete Yaradua’s tenure. The same Atiku now feels zoning doesn’t matter anymore. Every sensible southerner and every just northerner should leave the PDP, maybe then they would understand the value of the south in winning elections.

Well some men like dependent women and some women like being dependent. At the end of the day people should go with who they are compatible with.

Personally, I have never been in the unfortunate situation of having a girlfriend who thought I was duty bound to provide for her, either partly of fully. I believe in generosity, I believe one of the ways to show your love to someone is through material resources but I do not believe in doing it because it’s obligatory and that’s one of the ways to keep your relationship.

The way I see it, if a lady thinks it is a guy’s responsibility to fund her, there’s the motivation to have more than one guy because more guys mean more sources of funding. Who would say no to more money?

Chris Okotie is typing.

If you and your girlfriend are willing to settle down, you can. You just need financial planning. How much does she earn? How much will it take both of you to feed if you buy food items in bulk? Will you live rent free if you stay in your family house? Can you get a cheaper accommodation closer to work? In what ways can you reduce your current expenses?

Your girlfriend wouldn’t wait forever, I’m sure she’s looking and will leave if she finds someone ready. Is there a guarantee that things will be better soonest? You need to make a plan with what you have right now or let her go.

It is refreshing to see this coming from a woman. A man opens a thread like this and the comment section becomes a war zone, ladies will tell him to marry a man, or the throw jibes at his parents marriage, they call him damaged or too broke to get married and all other forms of attacks.

I do hope to get married and have all my children in a traditional family setting but I respect the decision of anyone, male or female who chooses to do it differently.

You have an invitation to eat your cake and have it, be friends with benefits. She likes you but she wants to keep her boyfriend.

You already let her know you are attracted to her, at this point just make the moves to have something casual. if she declines, you already had your mind made about letting her go anyway, so no loss on your part.

I think desires here should be classified as needs and wants. While wants are easy to get over with the passage of time, because we want different things at different stages of our lives.

The things you need would always matter to you until you get them. The blind man who desires to see one day won’t get over the desire until he sees, the lady on a wheel chair who desires to walk again won’t get over it until she walks, it will always be a desire as long as they live.

Same with the homeless who desires a home, the couple who desires children, the poor who desires to afford a decent living etc.

Reno is on Nairaland. With all these primary 2 permutations.

three southerners defeated the only Northern candidate in the party primaries . This just a foretaste of what is to come in the national election.

PaChukwudi44:
If the APC candidate is from the SW, Peter Obi will even score more votes than him

How so? The ruling party? With so many governors? It’s beyond the candidate now. If a pencil is candidate of the APC come 2023, the pencil will defeat Peter Obi. You know how many people just vote for a party even if they don’t know the candidate?

The election is between PDP and APC. In 2019 the Moghalu’s, Fela, Sowore’s got support from the youth too, till the tune changed at the last minute.

Atiku will win Obi in the SE. When elections draw closer, people will realize the fact that the election is between APC and PDP. The people of the SE will change their tune to “a vote against PDP is a vote for APC”. You all will leave Peter Obi high and dry.

The SE has always been and will forever be PDP.

Lionize:
Interesting. You a man cheating is not betrayal to his partner?

I didn’t say that. I don’t know how but I interpreted this post to be why do men get mad when a woman cheat, hence my response. Cheating isn’t good on both sides. Betrayal is betrayal regardless of the gender of the cheat.

Like Jovial said, women cheating has come to stay. Most men now put in more time and effort into getting other peoples girls than getting theirs. It’s win win for the woman and the cheating man. The only loser is the ‘owner’ of the woman.

Who wants to buy a car, repair it, fuel it, service it diligently only for the neighbour to borrow it every weekend when he needs it? This is the reason for the decline in relationships and the rise in hookup culture among millennials.

Keep in mind it is the ladies who chase committed relationships, give a man a stable gigana and he has no incentive to commit. So you get the relationship and then sleep with someone else casually. That is betrayal. All ye Judas’ with boobs.

The reason why men get hurt from cheating is one word betrayal. The coolest man to ever walk the earth Jesus was so forgiving, he forgave everybody. From the adulterous woman to the robber at his side on the cross, to the people who killed him, to Thomas who doubted him. Everybody got forgiven except Judas the betrayer.

Usually when a man chooses to claim a woman he has expectations that she is the faithful kind, that’s why we ask questions about your body count and if you ever cheated in past relationships etc.

Men do not care about what women do with their privates, if you present yourself as someone who is up for fun, most men will take their share and give your number to their friends, some will ask for a three way with their friends. Men are very sharing and generous with women. The hurt stem from thinking a woman is ‘good’ then discovering you didn’t have to do all this work to sleep with her.

If you got married from 2010 to date, the chances that your partner has cheated or is cheating on you are in the high 80 percent. I get surprised at the people that get surprised that someone cheated.

Given the right person and the right opportunity, most people will step out on their partners.

baby124:
What a dry joke. LMAO. You are the one in family section crying as no MAN has deemed you fit to play with his P. So you came to bash women and marriage with your wild delusions and imaginations. You are obsessed with my husband. He’s a straight man, not interested in you dear. He likes to sleep by my side and has refused your uncompleted building offer, you razz street urchin with low taste in men . Upgrade your tastes if uncompleted building is where they pump you! Maybe yoU can find a boyfriend that will stay. Eyah . I know it’s hard for an undercover gay.

Your gay friends are only your friends because they want your husband. Nobody in their right mind would be friends with the village lunatic. Keep getting passed around like the offering basket by your husband’s friends. One day the mangina you have at home will gather the courage to leave before the stench of the tampon socket you call a vagina kills him.

baby124:
Is that what you do with yams? This guy your sexual appetite and practices is alarming! My gay friends are shaking as I send them your messages. You are a sexual pervert and predator for sure . No wonder you no see even gay man to marry you

Your gay friends or your husband boyfriends? Married woman where is your husband? He would rather spend the night in the uncompleted building of the street lunatic than be by your side.

I am sure he’s very excited I had your attention for the last couple of hours. Tell him I said he’s welcome, he shouldn’t mention.

Shey you see front page topic about women wey Dey pray for husband? You still no believe say many men don Comot hand for marriage eh. If your husband could turn back the hand of the clock you sef for dey prayer meeting now. Go sleep bush baby. I don tire for you.

baby124:
You are very sick sha. LMAO. Thank you for showing everybody you are a MAD pervert . Get yourself a boyfriend that will propose to you first, then we can talk. You no get anybody for this life that will not die a miserable death especially your mother and including you! Which is coming. Just get a man to propose to you first. I see Kamoru is your spec. Make you try toast am and pretend to be his 6th wife, since you want a MAN so bad

That action you described with Penis though!!! It comes with serious experience! I hail! You de suck P sha! Even I learnt something! I hear gay men have strong jaws, true?

What have you not heard about gay men? Are you investigating your husband? Your clitoris is bigger than your husband penis, is that the source of your bitterness?

When you have sex it feels like scissoring? Is that why you have chosen to masturbate with a tuber of yam with kerosene as lubricant every night?