₦airaland Forum

In as much as I dont think any of these your reasons make sense (except the one that had to do with a cat), I sggest you use these fool proof methods;

1. When next she comes visiting you, open the door, look at square in the face, hiss and slam the door in her face.

2. She'll feel bad and leave, but that might not be all. She would definitely call you to know why the sudden change in your behavior. Pick up the phone and ask "who is this?", if she responds by telling you her name, hiss again and slam the phone.

3. If all these does not work, then go get a restraining order against her cos you might just have a stalker on your hands. And Cat woman at that. (Big/wide catwoman). Damn!

I've got more

Continues

10. The most unnecessary scenes are shown in slow motion. e.g like ramsey noah slapping his driver.

11. Everytime a deity is about to strike a victim, the same effect are used with the cameras shaking unnecessarily.

12. The blood looks like ribenna or Zobo.

13. A son and his father look the same age. e.g. Nkem Owoh (son), Sam Loco (father).

Can you imagine the bullshit, I only ofered you an advice and you start to dey mis-yarn. As you been already know say God dey your side y you come dey waste thread space for Nairaland for us??

Your first class degree for accounting no teach you how to account for unwanted preganancy without job abi?? Mumu pikin. Na only you get first class for Naija sef?? Abi you think say to get job na beans? O! b'cos say u skool for jand you think say na so e go easy to get work? Even people sef with ICAN neva get employment. If to say i no be born again I for say make Amadi-oha barber your head with lighting for calling my papa for this matter. Atleast ehn no born me wen ehn neva fit feed ehnself.

My father took everything into "account" b4 ehn born me you hear. If to say ehn born me into suffer head, na curse I for curse am till ehn poof.

No child should have to suffer as a result of the parents foolishness na ehn be my own. Save both you and the pikins the stress now by deleting dem now b4 you start to feed the garri 3 time a day. Alot of children today were born in similar situations with their parents saying GOD DEY, today na dem dey hawk gala for traffic light.

Sin Ko, Sin Ni, all sin is sin, murder, adultery, fornication, illegal chooking, lying, yahoo-yahoo, 419, ashewo, akunakuna all of them are the same thing, SIN. So which one come be cover sin with sin? as at the first sin you don already go hell fire, so why not just summarise all your sins then go pray for forgiveness.

If you don get job already, then keep the pikins, but if you still dey ask ur papa for transport and pocket money, go help urself out now.

No dull yourself. Na advice I advice you so O!

Anu Ofia.

Muhahahah

@ Ceebee

Also pray God forgives him for comitting the sin of fornication or is it adultery or immorality, whicheva. And while you are still on bended knees also pray society forgives him for adding two more mouths to an already collapsing economy. O and and also pray that those kids dont end up like those poor little ones who are presently running around on the streets hawking and begging a living. Also commit their future into the Hands of God that they do not end up as robbers or militants that are currently terrorising the nation. Infact also hand over their father and mother to God that God should enrich, bless and favour them times 4 b'cos if they both decide to drop anoda double CD album (b'cos they were idle), the first blessing fit no reach o!

I don't mince words when it come to matters of abortion. If you can't handle the task, don't take up the responsibility. Abortion might be a sin, but atimes it is a necessary sin. Why bring a child/children into this cruel world to suffer just because you could'nt afford a bloody condom or b'cos you were Hot.

I'm not judging the guy o, but the truth be say ehn don Bleep up. We are here offering tangible solutions to his problem and all you can come up with is "I pray God enlarges and bless you". What if God no gree enlarge and bless am (I pray he does though), wetin go come happen. What if ehn no get job just like thousands of Nigerian graduates out their today nko?? No use those pikins their future play ludo, delete dem now and when you don hammer you fit download dem again.

My opinion still stands, Oboy IF IT"S NOT TOO LATE NOW, GO DEPORT THAT PREGNANCY B4 IT'S TOO LATE O!! Advice no be curse. But I repeat this decision must be executed only with the girls consent. If you born those children's and you no fit train dem come use this ur suffer man lyf damage their future, even God no go forgive you.

My papa born me wen things hard o, but atleast we dey fit chop 2.5 semi-square meals a day, we get shelter (for one-bedroom face-me-I-face you) and ehn been don already apply for work for plenty companies.


He who has an ear, _{(u know the rest)}

@4Him

were are those figures comin from??

If 4Him is now a man of peace, then I'm now the UN peace Ambassador to Sudan.

Ladies please.

First of all, I have nothing against talking bout sex or sex related subjects.

But before the dissesstart coming in, let me sound it that this is AFRICA. Such openess is yet to be allowed. Imagine talking bout size and styles and your grandmother or your mother and her friends should happen to overhear such conversations.

Don't blame the peeps and saints who resort to name-calling, they are only products of their environment. Can you actually blame them??

Garri is and still remains the bomb.

Yam too cost abeg, plus i no get strenght to dey go through such stress just to feed.

Huh!

Even her juju will not lead me to fall for her let alone marry her.

@ Poster

I'll keep my own as plain and simple as I can. I no send wetin any body wan yarn, this na my own opinion. wetn u mean by abortion is not on your agenda? Abortion should be on every guys agenda that plans on impreganting a girl without a job, a house, a car or even a stand.

In case you've not noticed, pure water is now 10 naira for one, meaning lyf is hard.

If it is not too late now, Oboy go delete those babies kia kia. Na beans to train twins.

In present day naija na ehn you wan raise twins without pay and without job. Oboy no dull yourself O! I know that abortion is not cool and all worth not, but if and only if you can get the consent of your girlfriend, I suggest you eject those pikins now before garri soak all the water.

There are already too much pikins suffering on the streets of naija as it is already without you adding your own. And twins for that matter.

Just make sure say na for better hospital wey dem go do am, with qualified doctor so you no go kill anoda man daughter join. Then afta the waka make una two go church go pray for forgiveness b'cos una sin full bucket, from illegal intercourse to double murder.

And which kind naija boi u be sef?? u neva hear of GOLD CIRCLE b4? Next tym wey e hungry u like that again, contact your nearest mallam or aboki or visit your nearest chemist, before you do am.

Keep searching for a job O! just in case the babe no gree backspace the pregnancy.

i wish you all the best & congratulations, twins is not easy. You are truly a man with double barrel.

The problems with Nigerian Hospitals starts with the government and ends with the masses.

In Paris, the bills I incure from every visit to the hospital is not friendly at all when you convert it to Naira.

The thing is that every government in trying to please the populace brings in this stupid and unproductive concept of Free-health care, and my brother nothing good is cheap or free.

These Doctors are under-paid when you compare their payslips to that of their european counterparts. How do you expect quality healthcare service when even the schools that produces our nurses and doctors are riddled with corruption and filled with non-chalant teachers/lecturers who graduate half-baked Nurses that cannot even make correct sentences in english every year. Some nurses do not even know how to administer an injection let alone set up an I.V.

Government hospitals still remain one of the best hospitals in the country, but that only when you have money.

Everybody is looking our for themselves only. Starting with the contractors who built the facilities who cut corner and build funny looking structures and call them hospitals, to the the janitors that clean the hospitals that do not have any job satisfaction so they just come to work when they like and do their jobs as they seem fit and go, leaving the entire clinic reeking of locally manufactured IZAL disinfectant. Or should we talk about the person who delivers hospital supplies and stocks them with fake and sub-standard products and drugs from illegal traders in Onitsha, lagos and Aba. Please dont let me talk about hospital maintainance. Cos most government hospitals look like abandoned properties with broken windows, broken down, non fucntional & out-dated vehicles and ambulances. The environment in which the hospital is situated is not even encouraging.

Who buys hospital equipments?? In all federal and state hospitals they are still using old and outdated equipments and tools. You can barely find hospitals with standby generators, no blood banks not even pharmacies.

The doctors atimes are not the problem, but rather the environment in which they work.

Also when you add the fact that most of these clinics are over crowded, with some pateints even having to receive treatments in the hallways due to non avaliability of space.

I beg even you sef are bound to be frustrated with your job if you be Nigerian doctor

The way out is for the government to remove their hands from healthcare. Instead of free they should subsidise the health sector. The insurance companies should come up with good affordable health insurance policies that could help cater for the bills of the people. And all gorvernment hospitals should be setup in such a way that every clinic would have a board of directors made up of good upright citizens, whose jobs will be to make sure that the hospitals stay on point, the doctors and nurses behave as they should, and that the clinic makes some money. New and mordern equipments should be imported and installed at these clinics.

Too much Awoof dey kill.

When my spouse starts getting fat, the thing to do is to go buy a new bigger bed and matress.

i'll only talk to her and encourage her to start a weight loss program which I'll join her in as my means of supporting her.

But weight or or no weight, I'll still love her all the same.

I'm not suprised.

Coming from a war torn country like ivory coast, na the only thing the mumu pikin sabi.

What a beautiful way to make his exit from Chelsea.

unix4real1:
Nwayanwu FC and Eyinmba FC will open talk with chelsea over DROGBA and ANELKA for transfer this summer. the amount involved is N500,000 for both dudes. i think it`s great offer for useless players like that.

Na Abiola Babes and Rangers of Enugu na ehn go buy dem.

@ Topic

HELLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ NO .

Did u get that??

I said,

HELLZ NO

You also forgot:

1. An actor can wear the same dress in four different non related movies.

2. All ghosts and spirits wear the same white rode with gloves and a face covered with calamine lotion.

3. All movies and sold at the same places. 51/52 Iweka road onitsha, 11 ebinpeju lane, idumota, lagos, 1/2 pound road Aba.

4. All movies must end with any of these phrases; To God be the Glory, In God we trust, or You'll reap what you sow.

5. The title of the movie must be mentioned at one point during the movie.

Example

Movie title; The boy is mine.

Scene; Stephanie Okereke arguing with Genevieve on the phone;

STEPHANIE; You had better stay away from my boyfriend. this is the last time I'm going to warn you. The Boy is mine, do you hear me. I said the Boy is mine.

6. All Scenes showing off a celebration of any kind containing alot of food and drinks be it a club, birthday party, traditional and white wedding or burial, must last for atleast 10 to 15minutes.

7. When a man is about to throw his wife out of the house, her bags are always already packed and ready to go.

8. All movies must have a minimum of two parts and a maximum of (no limit)

9. And weneva whoeva returns from the U.S, they wear a dress with either the american flag on it, I love NY, or some hip-hop git up and then they start speaking this outrageous phonetics.



TO GOD BE THE GLORY

Partor Chidipupay

I bring you greetins in the name of Jah.

I'm humbly applying for the post of Events organiser in ur new organisation/company (thats spanish for church).

I'm vastly experienced in the business of crusades, retreats, surrenders, beleivers confrences, Total experience e.t.c.

I have worked with numerous pastors, reverends, Doctors, bishops, Arch bishops and even Pastr. Rev arch. Bishops.

I have worked for great ministries such as, No be God Ministries, God punish satan evangelical mission, Give and it shall be given unto you interdenominational Assembly, Tithe and offering gospel church, e.t.c.

I believe that you'll find my services very helpful as you build your new church and spread ur gospel to all the mugu's (thats french for sinners and heathen).

Remain blessed

Thanks

Yours Sincerey

Rev. Dr. Past. Evang. Engr. Esss.

Na wah o!

Even pure water no cheap again sef, 1 na 10Naira now.

I'll refrain from cursing at ur sisters nor ur mother. But if you had a respect for them you'd tender an apology as soon as possible to all the ladies and even urself.

Listen to the topic you posted "Why Are Nigerian Girls[color=#990000][/color] So Cheap Like Pure Water". I believe that you are a Nigerian, born of a Nigerian mother probably with Nigerian sisters. Are you also calling your mother and ur sister(s) cheap?

Being mature is more than just a matter of height and age, I suggest that the next time you decide to make a public show of your ignorance, you should choose your words wisely.


Cheap indeed!!

obviously another dumb arguement.

The chick with the goodies, CICI

@ poster

Oboy ur own na small, I went through the same in the hands of my current girlfriend. I was at it for 3years. Infact I still remember the first time I asked her out, I received the shocker of my life. It was so bad that I stood there trying to punder what just happened that she just left me and walked away.


If shes worth it, then keep trying. You never know you just might get lucky. atleast I did.

@ topic

I'm very skeptical. I love my girlfriend to death, but she has never once told me she loves me. I'm really worried.

@ Poster

I can't despute any of the situations you've described.

I'm a regular flyer too, and I must say that it is a case of if you cant beat them you simply join them. My passport has been witheld once on a flight to Paris simply because the Immigrations officer said I dont look like the person in my International passport even with over 6 visas on it to different countries. I brought out all the documents on me which had my name and picture on it, still to no avail. I had to pass the guy 5k before he stamped my passport. Or is it the ones that check your luggage for food stuffs and drugs?? or the airline officials that check in your luggage?? o and not forgeting my EFCC friends at the airport.

Our airports are filled with rogues and thieves, no news there. IT's Naija.

Very soon we might have to start bribing the host/hostesses and even the pilot to get a seat on board the plane.

Ask for the local airport, I've never bought a ticket at the official ticket price. Those touts even have the tickets on them. They can even check you in without you going to the counter.

Aero contractors and Chachangi are the worst culprits. Even the new MMA 2 is no better.

It's simply 9ja, You either love it or use Chisco or ABC transport. Not that it's any better.