ambr055i: Please, I need your advice because right now I'm confused about where to go, it's a lifelong decision.
I just turned 34 last month, still living with my uncle, but no pressure on his part is a big house. Currently, I teach in a school where my net salary and my home lesson inclusive are approx. N 100000 a month. I have a master's degree in engineering, so I haven't put that certificate to use. I have a saving of 900k, it will be higher by December. Although it would have been more than that, I lost 400,000 to the detriment of a bad investment. Last two years, I had an illness that struck (ENT related), which doesn't have a cure. One of the symptoms is vertigo (a sensation of feeling off-balance). This made me change my mind about travelling. For a few months now, I haven't had the experience.
I have three thoughts, but I can only do one at a time.
Firstly, leave my uncle's house, get an apartment. Use the rest of the money to start a business as a side hustle while working with the school.
Secondly, leave my uncle's house, get an apartment. Next, I invest my time in a tech skill (web dev, programming or data science).
Thirdly, travel to the US for my PhD program. I have already been preparing for my GRE before now.
Thank you.
Travel out and go for your PhD, you never can tell where you will be after that program and how happy you will be staying abroad
It's with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.
Now they're both in different states.
How did I know?
I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.
All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.
The only thing remaining is the sexual part.
We've been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I'm 100% sure they have not met since we got married.
But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.
When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he's just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).
Some months later they didn't stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.
Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won't see it.
Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.
I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won't say it's cos I'm not always around.
We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn't like sex. She doesn't mind if we stay 1 year without sex.
But me I'm a man with sexual needs.
Now when I see the way she doesn't like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.
Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge? I don't want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I'll dash them the bride price.
Do I go and get a side chick? But that won't solve my problem.
Guys come to my aid.
Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we're talking about same issue and same guy.
Sorry wasn't brief
This one weak me, I do t want to say what's in my mind
udoakwa: OP follow this advise, and afterwards cut some bitter cola into pieces and put them inside the toilet, it scares snakes a lot. I wonder those always thinking there's no God or miracle doesn't exist as what happened isn't coincidence but pure miracle...May God never shame us... Amen
ikezuora4689: Mehn you guys should fellow me thank God oo,I just wake up not quite long, feeling the urge to ease myself, I went to my toilet with sleepy eyes wanting to ease my self without disturbing my sleep. This is when the miracle happened, their was lights but I normally sleep with lights off,so the toilet and my room lights was off, but I on the room lights to plug in my phone to electricity before going to the toilet. So immediately I opened the toilet seat to ease myself my toilet curtain moved,I don't know if it's breeze that blow it or it's just miracle, immediately the curtain moved, lights from the room flashed inside the toilet.i jump up, a black snake wrapped itself around my toilet seat and the funny thing is that I have already started easing myself I don't know wether to stop or to run I went to the parlor and called my brother , luckily the snake is still there,it didn't even change a spot. We hit a very big stick on its head and it stop moving,on the process of removing it from the toilet seat,it fall in to the toilet and disappeared,I don't know if it's swim away or it's really dead. So please guys how do I prevent snake in my house, am so scared of entering that toilet now. Imagine if their is no lights and normal I don't enter my toilet with light.
Drain the toilet by using a mopping stick to dry it Pour enough quantities of fuel into it, it will flush out any breathing thing there by suffocating it to death
SimpleGuy001: Beginning to feel somehow this days, and it’s majorly because of my height.
So I just turned 21 this year July and then I discovered I’m 5”5 in height.
I’m not really into girls for now, but then when I’m ready for the relationship stuffs I don’t think I can approach ladies cause I think I might be at a disadvantage because of my height.
I do get ladies that are attracted to me in school, I believe that’s because I’m fair and intelligent. Top 1% of my class, just graduated with a very good result too.
But I think it just ends there, I kind of feel bad about my height.
For those who will say I should go make money, that isn’t my problem now because I’m doing quite good financially for a 21 year old. The issue now is how to improve my confidence because I feel I’m at a disadvantage when I’m ready to go into a relationship.
Is it even possible to add a couple of inches before 25?
You are not a dwarf, yet your height is a thing of worries to you
Since you said that you have good brain and good result, use that talent to cover up for your height
You should be more concerned on how to love a woman and be good on bed, not about a height that has no impact in love affair
ADAMUdaCOWBOY: Not true for all women. As a matter of fact, it 8s not true for most women. It is like saying because you stood by and encouraged a man when he was down, he will never fail you.
If some one you have been good to neglects you when you are down Then be rest assured that your happiness has no business with the person
BlizEmmy: [color=#000099][/color] Good evening all, this is my first time posting on this platform. Though have been a regular reader. Please I'm lost and am in need of honest and truthful comments pls. Have been married for the past 5year now. All through my years of marriage, have been opened to my husband in everything even down to how much I was paid and even when I spend 1naira out of d money, that's hw open and plain have been to my husband, but I noticed my husband likes keeping secrets, especially when it comes to income. It got so bad to the extent that my husband went and open a new bank account that I wasn't aware off, Just because he knows that I dnt go through his phone. On one faithful day, we were at the seating room when am alert message pops up on his phone then I saw it, at first he denied it but when he saw that the liers weren't working he had to come clean because his full name was on the new fidelity Bank alert. That aside, fast forward to this year, after the COVID my husband lost his Job, so all the weight of the house fell on me, as I was the sole provider. of which I was doing gracely to the point that not even my family members were aware that my husband had lost his job. I even went out of my way to make sure he changes all his old shoes down to sowing new natives and plain wears since he said he wants to go into Car business and property. I did all these without complaining, even when he said he wants to be selling male shoes, I still supported him with that which he later neglected barely two months into it. I was till joining my faith with him in prayers and not giving up. But what really got me feed up now was that just last month I called my husband And told him that since out rent is due in three months time and since my mom's money that she kept with me after selling her house is in my bank account, that why not we invest it in his car business, let him use it to buy a very neat car that we can quickly sell and make our profits so we can save for our house rent as I have just finish paying my shop rent so what I have is only for my business, since my profits is for the up keep of the house, coupled with the facts that things are way too expensive so I needed the extra help. After we had the discussion, I went early to the bank to transfer all the cash in my possession to my husband company account. Barely after two days I did the transfer my husband started spending the cash, all in a bit to make his formal colleagues jealous that is his doing well in his new property business not caring for the facts that we re about to lose our home in 3months times, frm the bank statement I saw he even transferred some money to his own private account to spend. Help I dnt knw what to do as I was so pissed i had to leave the house so as to not cause a seen since I have noisey neighbours. Could u believe my husband didn't bother to call to even knw where I was, until I came back home till now we ain't talking. Pls all I need now is serious advise on what to do as I'm very confused right now. Thank you
How come you made use of the money your mum saved in your account without even permission from your mum
Well find a way to ask him to return the money as your mum called you to inform you that she wants you to meet her at your bank to transact with the money in your care
Meanwhile you made a mistake giving him access to the money then coming her for advice
You would have allowed the rest to expire on him and if he makes no move that will be the best time for you to take best decision on him
My concern is not about the rent that will soon expire, is about a man that have proved that he will be lazy since you are struggling for the family
Forget about what people will say about you and the whole scenario on your marriage
There will always be show to display
If you don't find a way to get back that money. You will loose the money and disappoint your mother
Virtplus: please my fellow nairalander,i hv been passing through an issue,of wish i'm becoming worried.i have been dating my girl for the past 4yrs plus now but any time i tried getting close to any other girl, my mind will be beating fast,jst want to knw if it is normal or na juju lol...pls a matured answer
You are just loyal to your partner in the relationship and so, you will find it difficult to cheat on her, besides she has not treated you bad to warrant such
starz100: Between man and woman who is more committed to the stability and success of a marriage relationship. Among the two, who will be more affected in the case of a break up. For instance, a break up that happens at later years of a marriage should likely affect the man more than the woman. What is your take on this?
Responsible married women, are more committed and works more for their marriage
They understand family values and home front because of their bond with children
However, men suffer more during divorce especially at the later stage of marriage because, women will always find their ways into their children heart
At Early stages of marriage men decides
When you start having children men and women decides
At later stage women and children decides, that's the stage where you find most men to be very calm
mbahdi: Please doctors in the house what do we call this? My friend couldn't contain his joy,I can remember the night he broke the news to me,he was so excited,he took me to a joint where we opened alot of bottles in celebration of him meeting his wife a virgin, despite he was a bad guy. The problem now is that each time the wife is pregnant she will have miscarriage,this has happened about two times cant endure it anylonger he took the wife for a test,and it was discovered that the wife have an infection which has been in her body for a long time. Please how possible can someone you meet a virgin have infection.although before the guy married her she lives in face me I slap you apartment with the parents,it was out of the joy the guy have marrying her a virgin that he rented a 3bed room apartment for the parents.please what could be the cause of the infection?
An untreated infection from the public toilet could eat deep into the cervix, womb and the rest
Yes, one can be a virgin and still be infected
Not all female infections are gotten from sex
In all, its a minor thing and it can be treated so far it's not related to STD
Xman12345goat: Good evening all, I am a medical doctor who just graduated about 5 years ago. I have completed my mandatory one year internship and NYSC program. I now work in a Federal medical Center in the East.
The reason why I created this topic is to seek advice on the risk of getting married into a very poor family. I love my girlfriend Chioma very well. I have been dating her for more than 8 years now and would like to settle down with her. I have met her family and paid her bride price.
The problem here is that she comes from a very poor family. Her dad is late and her mum is a petty trader. She is the first child and has six siblings. She is very beautiful, hardworking, God fearing but not educated. She only completed secondary school. Immediately after introduction, I kind of became the bread winner of her family and had to support in training her younger siblings in school not forgetting that am the first son/child of my own family and I have to cater for my own siblings too.
My mum is now bothered and wants me to call off the wedding and marry someone from a middle income family, at least some one with a degree certificate, am beginning to reason with her because of the nature of our economy, but I love chioma very much and I don't want to disappoint her.
Be a man at this point
She has passed all the qualities you want in a woman remaining education
She can get education if you are willing to put her through its never too late
She has not done anything wrong to warrant you dropping the marriage
You already know that she is from a poor home and you were willing to help
Someone must hold the lather for someone to climb to the top
You may marry that educated woman that will put you in a hot seat for life yet you will regret why you dropped her
Build chioma to the taste of what you want from her
She can be trained as auxiliary nurse
She can be trained in other areas of women life
She is not a disabled woman so she is capable of doing what you guys desire
Her star could help brighten your light
That you are a Doc doesn't mean she has no value
But if you want to follow the advice of your mum, go ahead but when it's time to regret you alone will feel the pains not your mother
She is a treasure hold her tight because she loves you and has remained loyal to you
SuS124: You want to make it sound as if I'm rude. People have been dragging me here calling me all sought of names. Some people that understands the situation helped me Anonymously. Stop giving people impression that I'm rude.
You're a woman. How will you feel if you come back next week on your business account and find a thread like this that can never be deleted on your account of 6years. Think of this. Honestly this is the first time I'm coming online to beg. And you saying I should go to a shop and beg for credit. Me doing this is more better than go to a shop and ask for credit. What if they say no they will not sell. I can commit suicide because of that. I'm a very shameful person that's shy. You should understand this
Keep trying your luck just simple statements After all, you may hit your target
Malibe: Are you OK? What are you saying? How could you advice that he suggest to his Family members that he want to kill his father, that he is seeking their support to kill his father. Habaaa! Mr. Advicer fear God! And to whom that is seeking advice, the thought of killing your father is evil, demonic and unGodly. No matter how difficult things is for you and ur family, just do the little you can and present the once you can't to God. The thought of you killing him or ur Mum abandoning him doesn't sound nice to the ear. Let me remind you; You are fulfilling your essence as a Child, just set your mind straight and take care of the unfortunate man. I'm not even sure if this story is true or not.
You need to live and attend to his sick dad for at least a year then come back and tell us your thoughts about it
SuS124: Even you that's a woman like me that's suppose to understand me better is saying this. I mention I use my main account for posting wigs via drop shipping. That's why.
I know I will pass over this face.
You even have time to pick back on people's comments
ExploreFeelings: I don’t think I have been lucky in love and I’m thinking of giving up already. All the people have fallen in love with have hurt me in one way or another. And I can’t keep up with the pain. I just want to stay on my own. Now this new guy is telling me he has fallen in love with me just after two weeks of meeting me. I think he wants to use me! I don’t know! I can’t trust anyone anymore! Maybe he loves me! I don’t know! My heart isn’t capable of love anymore. But since I closed my heart to love: I feel rather empty, depressed and I find it hard to associate with people. And now that someone has fallen in love with me, I don’t know if I am capable of loving him back. Should I keep my heart closed to love? Source: https://www.xplorefeelings.com/should-i-give-up-on-love-5-reasons-you-shouldnt/
Heart breaks teaches us so many things
The more heart break the more we learn
The more heart break the harder the heart gets
So stand and face it then adjust where needed
Loneliness and depression are worst than heart breaks
Teespeaks: 3 Reasons Marriages Don't Last These Days
We all know that marriages today don't last long anymore. Some relationships last longer than many marriages as at today. Some marriages don't even make it to the first year anniversary.
Funnily enough, these marriages are usually the ones with expensive weddings. What's the essence of having a big wedding when the marriage didn't last? Below are some reasons most marriages don't last anymore:
1. The first reason marriages don't last anymore is because everyone now sees divorce as an option. In some years ago, divorce was not this common. As at today, many court are filled with several divorce cases. If you hear the reason some people want to get divorced, you will wonder what this generation has become. People should only go for divorce if they have tangible reasons.
2. Most married couples these days are not ready to persevere! As we know, perseverance is a very important quality every marriage must have. This is because it will take several years before both of you get used to each other. Please note that perseverance doesn't mean one should stay in an abusive relationship/ marriage. You both come from different houses and sometimes different tribes, it will take a while to adapt. However, most newly married couples only envy successful marriages, they are not ready to give it what it takes.
3. Many relationships don't last because both parties are not mature enough for marriage. It's always obvious if the husband is not mature.
You see them blaming their spouse for everything. A mature man should be ready to admit he is wrong sometimes and not blame the innocent wife. There are some cases where your maturity will be needed. A man who is not mature shouldn't get married. When you see kids go into marriage, they break up in few months. Some Men too are not mature enough to make decisions themselves. They run to their mothers. Most women don't like it when the marriage is controlled by the mother-in-law I believe my readers have more to add, I will like to hear them out. Read more at relguide.com
kenzysmith: Good day Nairalander I have a friend in my street whose father is very rich he owns 2 huge hotels and plenty of cars, my friend is about 29yrs old I met him doing sales boy at a boutique I was shock when I saw him there I was like what going on has your Dad disown you? Because he was the ist son of his father , he told me that is father don't want him to work in his hotels or touch any of his cars , he give him 2k per week , as he was narrating his story to me he was shedding tears he still leaves at his father house , so I ask him how much was he earning at d boutique he told me 15k . I was touch and angry in my spirt I told him to go and learn hand work that I will pay is for the apprenticeship. I have to ask him again if he is adopted he said no though he had an HND certificate . this guy is looking haggard and wearing a very old palm. I keep on wondering what might has been his offence that is father don't want his ist son is heir after not work in his company or teach him is business. People are wicked to their own
Only the father can answer your questions on him
Only the mum can tell if he is really his biological father
Finesse1st: Pardon my grammatical errors, I'm a guy of 26 , handsome, 5'9inch tall, soft lips, gud voice, abs, cute stature but yet av being living a miserable life, I'm always indoor I don't have a life, I'm still living with my parents I can't even wear a decent cloth, pls how can I make money with my looks? Lalasticlala
I don't think you are serious, because, you are concerned more about your looks and not what to engage yourself with some things to make money
I need your candid advise on these matters that touch the heart. I got married last year to the mother of my beautiful daughter sometime in August last year during the COVID lock down. The marriage was against my wishes and due to parental pressure. Prior to marrying my wife, I was doing a good job by making sure I take good care of my daughter and the mom. My daughter just turned 2 in July and has already started going to school. My wife and I met online and started dating immediately after our first sexual encounter. Along the line she got pregnant and we started having misunderstandings. We both decided we will keep the baby because I made a vow with God not to abort any child with any woman I impregnate.
However, to cut the story short we both agreed we won't get married and her parents were cool with it as long as I take care of their daughter and my child. Then came COVID and during the events of the lockdown, I entered into a relationship with a Chemical Engineer that earns a 7 figure monthly salary. The relationship lasted for months but my mom never supported the relationship and did everything to make sure I break up with this lovely lady in a bid to marry my baby mama. I was against it knowing fully well that she is very quarrelsome and dramatic. I had inner peace with my lockdown girlfriend. Till now I still miss her and want to be with her despite being married to my wife who is always looking for ways to suspect me for one thing or the other. She has even threatened that if she catch me cheating, she will cheat back.
My marriage for the past 1 year has been full of problems, drama, and even attempted violence. My wife just graduated from Uni and is about to go in for her NYSC. I am even praying she gets posted out of Lagos preferably the North. This marriage has drained me of all my resources and has taken away a lot from me. My wife doesn't appreciate the good I do for her and my daughter. She is always quick to judge me and criticize for every small mistake I make. She nags all the time and always want to pick a fight for bullshit reasons. I don't find my wife attractive anymore and I have lost every desire to have sex with her from the first day we married in August last year.
She gets upset when female colleagues at work call me. I had considered resigning because we had an issue over my boss at work who always calls me for work related stuff. I am not on good terms with my mom because she engineered this marriage against my own wishes. My wife and I don't have a good relationship. It has gotten so bad that we don't sleep in the same room anymore. I had to leave the house for some time to stay in an accommodation provided by my work place so I can have inner peace and regain my sanity.
I am so pained because of my relationship that ended abruptly. I tried getting back with my Ex whom I still love but now she doesn't want to have anything to do with me despite how much I still love her. My question is, should I still try to win my ex over or find another woman? As for my marriage, I consider it dead and over. I don't care what my parents particularly my mom will do. I don't bleeping care anymore. All I want is my love to come back to my life and end this toxic marriage.
Don't you think that you should inform your wife family officially that you are not finding peace and happiness in the marriage and you want her dowry returned to you, if at all you paid any
Then promise them that you will take are of the child
The next step is to find a way to reconnect with your ex and let her know that your heart is with her and still with her and you will appreciate your relationship with her to spark up again
Give her time she will think over it
As for your marriage, there is nothing as painful as staying in a bitter marriage
Life is too short to be in a stranded relationship
Unless you are ready to go on , on the conditions that she change her bad attitude
Which I know can not be achieved because "a mad man will never stop mormoring"
insidenaijasblog: An unidentified Nigerian man has explained his decision to use his parents for money ritual, Newspremises reports.
The man who was questioned on his intention, said that even if his mother begs while he's about to carry out the act, he won't stop as her plea would only push him into killing her faster.
When the man was asked if I could also use his father for money rituals, he said that his father is the easiest option as he doesn’t ''give a f*ck'' about him.
When asked if he would go ahead with the ritual if he was told he has only 3 months to enjoy the money, the man responded and said, he is okay with such arrangement.
He however, reiterated that if his parents gave a f*ck about him, they would have hustled to make him comfortable.
Diligent1: I managed to buy data so that I can search for better jobs. The one I am doing now cannot sustain me talkless of my children. I believe that things will still get better if I did not relent.
Career › Re: URGENT - In State Of Delimma by frozen70(f): 3:17pm On Oct 06, 2021
