₦airaland Forum

Afodot0022:
Good day my fellow nairalanders. Pls pardon my typo errors and will just make this brief as i can. I need your inputs in this scenerio that is giving me some sort of concern.

I have been married for close to five years now and have two kids to it. My marriage to my wife has been ups and down but have always tried my best to be a responsible husband and also father. I ensure I take care of my home financially to my capabilities.

My wife happens to be a good wife though with her own flaws as she is not perfect. She always has the notion that am cheating on her and have a side chick. But to be honest to you guys, i have never had sex with any other woman except my wife ever since i married her. Though at times the temptation might come to catch some flings out there but will later decline such thought and abort any action have made to do it on the long run.. At times my wife will read chats I do have with some random girls and have the notion that am cheating. I know i have been wrong in this but attimes a man will want to be a man but as i said earlier, have never had sex with those girls. Just random chats that all and it doesnt go further or lead anywhere.

So it happened that me and my wife had a very serious misunderstanding recently that resulted to verbal abuse and also almost physical violence from the two of us. The last time i intended to have sex with my wife, she denied me and this had been in my mind and got me so angry towards her. So it happend that she needed my help for something and did not help, she started shouting and nagging and this got me angry and i almost hit her but i didn't. During those heated moment she started saying things about my cheating and so on. She said if am not cheating that i should swear with bible but i refuse to swear that night. Upon the following day i decided to even swear with bible that i have never had sex with any woman ever sinced i married her. I know i was innocent and i truely swear that very day to make her change her mindset and perception about me.

After the swear, something happened that makes me confused till this very day, I ask my wife to also use the Bible to swear that she had not cheated or slept with any man ever since she got married to me. Could you imagine that despite all my efforts to make my wife to swear using the bible, she refused bluntly that she will never do such. I asked her why but she insisted she is not going to swear.

This got me concerned and was asking myself why is this woman refusing to do this if truely she is innocent and doesnt have any skeleton in her compound. Her excuse was that she cant use the world of God to swear but mind you she is the one that prompted me to do such at first. I even seized her phone that if she doesnt swear i wont return the phone to her but despite my threat, my wife didn't not.

This lasted for hours and I later gave up on the quest. Ever since then have not being myself and have been thinking alot. My wife doesnt look like someone that can cheat on me cos have not seen any traces as such but with this her action, its making me to have a rethink about her.

Pls house i dont know what step to take as i need your mature advice on way forward on this issues troubling me. Every input will be well appreciated especially from married and experienced people.

Never allow any one to out you through difficult and unprepared actions it doesn't pay at the end

Your wife is a drama queen and she realy got your mumu button

Now back to the issue

Whether she swears or not, would that make you to keep her as a wife or chase her away

Next time don't and never allow arguments to put you beyond your boundaries

Forger about those swears because she wants to be sure you dint date out now that you have cleared yourself she will prepare another gambling to tackle you

Pls be rest assured that she doesn't flirt so that you can have peace and be rest assured that there is nothing like that

So far you don't engage in to such

Women are drama queen's she is warming up for a not prove that your are faithful and loyal to her as time goes on, until you stop giving her time to nag you out of your peaceful heart

McProspero:
Wow. Thanks. I just hope I get one

Definitely you will, but get your match so that it will be a smooth ride


Don't be surprise, you will greatly fall in love to experience love

val56:
The said kins are not actually interested in anything bout my late uncle. We have a WhatsApp group for the family, no one is actually interested bcus they know nothing bout the kind of life the man lived over there and regarding the costing of bringing his remains

If that's the case, you and the rest have to forget about it since no one is interested about him and what he has

It's considered a gone issue for the whole family

val56:
Good day everyone, I will go straight to the point on this, apologies for my errors in typo. I just lost one of my good uncles in US and I have this cousin of mine he believes that my late uncle used his name as next of kin in some of his assets. The problem now is how can he go about it with some vital informations at his disposal. Not forgetting my now late uncle had apparently no one before his demise last week. His wife left him 28yrs ago and he is in loggerheads with my uncles here in Nigeria even my own dad not exemption reasons because none of them gave account of every penny he sent down over 41yrs he’s been abroad. So my concern now how my cousin can get an attorney either from here or in US to help write to his bank for claims. He has a lot of evident my late uncle left with him before demise.

He needs to bring this issue to the notice of the kins men

He can't do all that alone, else his kins men will have issues with him

From there a Lawyer will be contacted by the kins men and they will take it up from there

It's a very sensitive issue and he will need wisdom to handle it

Mybrotheralso:
You're not a man so shut up and allow us to answer. Virginity and good attitude aren't mutually exclusive, so shut up

You don't need to show how untrained you are in a public forum

Simple self respect and discipline is all you need

Try and work on that

BrendanJo:
I think you are very right and on point.

You are welcome

awesonjr:
good morning nairaland

I'll make it quickly as I can and I really need advice on what to do about it,
there is this my cousin my mum bring from village in 2018 she lost her mum and her dad is always busy don't have too much time for her and her junior once, and she's the first born after her mum burial she decided to follow my mum to the city and my elder sister in the city help her register for senior WAEC after her Senior WAEC her result was good so she applied for school of Nurse she gained admission there letter on my mum take her to where she can learn sowing after school while me am a art printer it all started if she have an assignment in school about Drawing Of Women Private Part Illustrations & Clip Art cause I'm good in drawing cause is my job from there she'll start telling me about women Virginia how women give birth, how sperm from babies I was lyk because u dey go school of Nurse now we no go here word again, so recently in 2021 anytime my mum is on night duty at her working place me & this my cousin sister are the only one left home, (note I also lost my dad in 2016) if I came back from work I use to branch my guys place gist play PS and come home late lyk 10:30pm some times to 12 anytime I came I always meet her sleepless and if I ask way u never sleep by this time she tell me I'm the one she's waiting for before she can sleep I was lyk are you a babe. so recently my mum travel for her senior sister's son wedding since last 2 week, anytime am sleeping I notice that my cousin will start touching my dick, I'll quickly remove her hand and turn on light she well now pretend as if she is sleeping sometimes she well come to where I'm sleeping that she can't sleep alone in her room that she lyk to join me I thought she's joking until she climb my bed I now went to sleep in the parlour that is day before yesterday this happen so yesterday she was watching TV I'm also eating around 8:30pm after I finish eating I tell her I wanted to see my friend that I'll be back 11:00 or 12 she now say OK she'll be waiting for me I say no go and sleep but leave the door open so I leave after gist charts with my friend I went back home I meet my cousin necked I shouted at her that what's wrong with her are u OK at all before she now went nd put on her Nyt wear so I went to my room around 2:45 or 3:00 she came start robbing my dick I weak up immediately and see her half necked she now say why I'm I behalving as if I don't what to do she can't take this my behavior I must sex her this Nyt I was confused throughout yesterday Nyt can't even sleep I don't now what to do should I report her to my mum if she comes back or I should tell my elder sister
I really need ur advice pls
and she's just 22 year old while I'm 25 pls help

You have to report her to your family members in her presence

You may sleep with her and get her pregnant, what will be your fate

By then, people will start blaming you instead if blaming her

Your tradition may not allow you to marry her, so in this case, what will you do with the pregnancy

She need to be cautioned by your family before things go wrong

From the look of things, it's possible she is no longer a virgin

Candidlady:
What is your favourite radio station and location?

for me

radio station>95.1 nigeria info
location>abuja

Classic FM, Lagos

BrendanJo:
Just being curious to know, because a lot of people now emphasis mostly on once virginity before marriage, while ignoring good decorum. Should girl's virginity be the major emphasis towards a successful marriage or behavior?
I know of someone that the only advice she gives to girls is remain a virgin, which I believe is not bad, but while advising while not talk about the general behaviour and how it will also help in the success of marriage.

Every girl was once a virgin and must be broken

Character and good attitude is what a man should be looking for in a woman

McProspero:
I am a programmer. A nerd,. I create games and am a tech enthusiast but I don't know why I fail to get a girls attention. Help. What do I do. I need a lover

You don't need a lover, what you need is a female friend

You must he willing to give a woman attention

You have to give her a listing ear

You have to be patience with women

If you can apply all these, then you are romantic

You also have to be ready and willing to keep her warm

BornToSucced:
Thanks. I am not married.

The reason I want to move to Sangotedo is that, I took a loan to buy the 2 units of 3 bedroom apartment and I want to reduce my expense on rent by moving into the apartment. Beside, the estate is a good estate with Mobile Police security and I drive too.

Fantastic, that's a good plan

Keep it up, in that case, you can be there for the time being and finish your plans then move into your new house after you must have done the finishing

Congratulations, you deserve an applause

CountVersailles:
Ladies, can you marry someone who does uber full time? No other source of income besides uber every week. He earns well though and invests his money. But has no other source of income.

The lady in question is a top executive at a venture capital. They met in his uber car.

A lady is willing to marry any man that has a source of income, no matter how little

So far the man is not lazy,
So far he us focus

BornToSucced:
Hello, I need your advice on this situation.

I currently stay in a 3 bedroom apartment in Ogudu, and work in Ikoyi axis. My current rent is 1m and the landlord is about to increase it to 1.2m from next year.

However, I just deposited 30% payment for a 3 bedroom flat Sangotedo and the owner said I can move in while I spread the balance.

My concern is, I want to relocate to the new apartment in Sangotedo but the traffic going to work borders me. Is it better to rent it out? How is security and light in Sangotedo axis?

I am really confused on what to do as my current rent is coming to an end.

Please I need your suggestions.

If you are ready to leave home by 4am daily, including the risk, and you will save some money from the rent in sango
Calculate all together. If you are not saving up to 200k by relocating to Sango.
Just remain in Ogudu and look for houses around the neighborhoods

Living in a cheap house or area, paying more on transport is not a good idea

Besides, you didn't mention if you are a family man with children or not

Gandollar:
What happened? Why did you change your heart madam?

My dear I work with my heart and mind and if one can come out here for just little assistance and the person wants a private chat, I don't normally do that, and such may give me a very low spirit to carry on

What's there if I want an evidence here and someone wants it private.

bigjackass:
Someone wants to dash you the money you are begging for but you still want to stress her. Just to upload something and remove it later. You can't post your details on public forum where you are seeking help. Keep on doing yourself

I still don't understand why people feel ok, looking for help in a public forum, but wants a prove sent to me privately

Anyway, I have already closed his case

Most little helps I offer here are done publicly not privately and its out of charity

There was a particular guy that needed help as he was stranded in school, I asked for his documents with 1hr, he provided all and I helped him

If we should come out publicly to ask for help, let's remove pride and submit whatever proves, after all, I don't even know any one in person here in this forum

There was a guy that had an accident in May with broken bones in three places I posted that I will do a video call to be sure

He quickly accepted and I had a video call to be sure he has those injuries

I quickly gave him what I promised him

I don't have much, I believe in giving and I also give because I know how bad it can be when you are in distress especially now that things have gone high

May God give us wisdom

bruno30:
Good morning ma Frozen70

You asked me to provide my details which am ready to but i can't just post it on a public forum.
Please should i mention you in a dead thread so i can get your whatsapp number
My phone camera quality is poor but it's still manageable to do video call and provide all my details for you ma.

Please help me as i will be starting exams soon

Thanks as i await for your feedback

May God make ways for you, Amen

Exactly ❗
If the family doesn't have money to renovate it, why jot sell it and share the procced
Now they have lost all to the state government

Bryankentwood11:
Okay guys, I will make it short and simple, I have done everything possible for her, like I spoilt her with food and possibly money too, now she just feels comfortable at home , sleeping all day, then wakes up and demand money, I have been paying for one thing or the other every week of this relationship, I give her money for food and all, and she has parent, I feel like I’m suffocating, I can’t even save anymore, and she has a handwork but just too lazy or relentless to even work, guys advice me on this please

Since you have discovered that she is a potential liability

Isn't it time you let her go so that she will start planning for herself because she has depended so much on you and she may become a problem to her future

But come to think of it, why did you keep her in your house, just to be sleeping with her. If she became pregnant what will you do with the pregnancy ?

GraciousGod190:
Am hurt, 4 years relationship about to go down the drain.first time meeting her parents was last week Sunday, they did welcome me with a smiling face.
After all the introductions and making my intentions known to them I like to marry their daughter.

my girlfriend called me on phone yesterday that she's coming over, which she did and start saying that her elder bro and her mum is kicking against our marriage. i asked why? she said because am an Ssce holder.

yes I might be an Ssce holder, but am self employed doing well for myself (I noi de beg to chop) isn't that enough.

can't an Ssce holder marries a bsc, msc or a phd holder.
why the discrimination towards a brother because of a white man education?
because of a white sheet of paper.

It's left fir her to fight for you in her family

If she cant do that, leave her for her family

Vickho:
Hello ma'am. God bless you.
I've seen the alert ma'am. God shall increase you and bless you and your family in Jesus name. Amen

Thanks and Amen to your prayers

Lordofalmajiri:
So Owerri and Onitsha is not on the list??

Those states already have their weekly Monday wahala

code9:
My female cousin narrated to me how she ended her 3 month relationship with a guy she found very attracted to initially. She met the guy and every thing was progressing smoothly until they tried to have sexual intercourse.
She narrated that she cringed at the sight of an uncircumcised phallus which she had never seen in her life and it was a very huge turn off for her. Secondly, because she is a Christain, she believes that the purity of a male starts with circumcision as instructed in the holy bible.

She has curved the guy so much that the guy has read the handwriting on the wall and kind of moved on.

I really didn't know what to tell her as i haven't given it a thought before. Was she foolish to have ended the relationship with the guy? what wuld you do if you where in here shoes?

Seun, lalasticlala

What makes you think she was foolish to end the relationship

If you are served a bad food, will you pretend and it

Experience285:
A girl of about 14 just entered my room without knocking. I was dressing up, I thought she will say oh sorry
Rather she kept kept and be looking. I said are u not afraid? She replied how can I be afraid of that pencil. Up till now am still dumbfounded

A girl that have seen a big dick, will never have regards for a normal size dick

Irijosa777:
I work at a catering services at Benin City, I'm the store keeper. I leaves in the staffs quarter with our manager and the gate man and it happened to be where our office is also located.
Few months ago, one of our worker came to stay with us, before she came we were running a communal system of living at the kitchen level, we hardly cook because of the the nuture of our job, food is always available in the freezer and all things in freezer belongs to we all. This colleague of our had issue in her relationship and relating with people but that is not my concern at the moment. The issue here at hand is that tomorrow she will be traveling to Lagos to see her people. Meeen! You need to see the things the babe took from the freezer... Yes! she told us she will be taking somethings to her people in Lagos which we agreed but we only approved fried chicken and fish...This evening this babe package things from the freezer for tomorrow journey when nobody was there but after she finished, we were to go outing with our boss this evening but I decided not to go but she went after she left I decided to go to the freezer and check what she took because I don't trust her. Lo and behold I was shocked to see what this babe took. She took the fill things:
Fried chicken
Fried fish
Row beef
Sauce beef/hides
Fried puff puff, samosa, swing roll
Row samosa and swing roll
I am not happy about it so I'm thinking what to do tomorrow because this night I'm not going to bother her. I'm just thinking what to do, should I allow her to go with the all the stuff and then take action when she return or I should report to our manager. I don't understand this girl for real. We had never had issue because of food but this girl I just don't understand her.

Well, if the management and the whole system has been good to you, you already have enough evidence to nail her

Let the manager see all she took from the evidence she has with you, then, you may suggest to them to inform her not to come back to the business again

But make sure you come with a clean hand, so that you don't do anything close to that in that organization

More so, make sure that, they keep your information secret from others do that your colleagues won't see you as informant

In other words, don't confront her but you can report her to the manager

theInterpreter:
thats not humility

humility is coming down to people lower than you

not going up to meet people you're far lower than

Every gamer knows how to be humble to those that have already made their fortune

You and knows that he wants to fix himself up and he needs their approval

If you are an up coming celebrity, be ready to respect your seniors in the system

Niece:
https://.com/pastor-caught-sleeping-with-married-woman-on-church-altar/

I put the blame on the woman, for bringing down her self to be used on a bare floor

Whereas another person is dying to use her on a bed

As for the man, I don't have anything to say, because some men are randy, once they are galvernised, they Start reasoning in a revers form

googlepikins:
But on a more serious note, white money need to go and sit down and eat his money

I like what he is doing, going round to greet the rich and famous Igbo guys

That's Humbleness

bjprodint1:
For d love of my kids,am ready to sell sex for cash,d hardship is too much 4 dem.pls contact me if intrested or link me up.pls nobody should judge me,i thought living with their father would make d kids happy and stable,but i was wrong.pls contact me,i am in Abuja

If its advice you want, we can advise you but if it's real sex for cash that you want, it's your personal decision and we can't stop you from doing it

So do it the way you want to do jit without putting it on display, non of your intending clients will leave Lagos to come and visit you there in Abuja for the fun

But it's not advisable to leave with the father of your children and do such, you can move away from his house and hustle the kind of hustles you ha e planned

Alternatively, why not seek for financial help and start a trade

You can be roasting yam or plantain by the road side

You can be cooking indomies or prepare tea early morning for breakfast at a make shift shops

Anything food is a business that have ready customers

But that which you think will give you a better deal has its own challenges and have higher risk.

milann:
thank you very much. Your advice have been very helpful for me. God bless you

Thanks my dear

Unigrad:
I have made inquiries about this in my state, the rules are, I must have not less than 3 bikes, buying and registration of one bike with the state government cost about #500k.

Whatever you want to go for, do it within your state of residence so that you can be checking on them

This time around, any one that wants to invest must do so with strict carefulness

afombc:
Infact, we will be doing the somersaulting together now, so that I can watch them well....

And all three of them are boys oooh.... I think I have a long way to stay calm

Waooo, now I understand why they play around, boys are like that

It's time you involve them in kitchen and home affairs

Like sweeping
Washing plates
Washing clothes
Dressing rooms

Just keep them busy with house chores and it will make them to be busy

Though they will still play under your supervision

milann:
hello remember me. Need your help. I've got three job offers, one as brand promoter, two as male secretary and three as factory worker. Which should i go for? Mind you am a graduate. Thanks in advance

Hello, how are you doing

I think the factory worker should be put aside because, they end up using and over using people in this category without job securities or safety

The brand promoter, you need to create awareness on the product, which means putting you on the go and taking you to all corners of the markets

For the secretary, it depends on how success if the company or establishment, it looks more official, but what's the pay value and the benefits

Well base on these three options, you are a graduate but you have to pick one to keep body and soul moving

Go for the one with a higher pay, so far there is less job Hazard

Good luck in whichever one you chose