₦airaland Forum

Supreme145:
Good day folks,I have been a visitor on nairaland for a while now so far I have really learnt a lot from here,I had to register so as to share my worries here because I know that I can get useful contributions. Please ignore my grammatical blunders,I'm not really good at writing.

I graduated from secondary school in 2010 at the age of 18 and 10 years later I seem to be moving around in circles. After secondary school I was given two options of going to the university or doing business, I chose business without thinking twice I needed money so school can wait.
Two of my uncles raised the sum of 150,000 for me after I was done learning a trade with the condition that I will pay back at the end of the year without interest. Then the ports were closed so I would travel to cotonu to buy male jeans and sold in Nigeria in wholesale. Business was moving well,I tripled my capital that same year by the age of 20 I had already counted my first million,I felt on top of the world,I spent on my family helped in paying house rent and my siblings school fees(I'm the first child),then tragedy struck.

After the second year my uncle whom I was staying with and contributed majority of my capital asked for an account of how I had been running the business which I gave him,I had already returned the other uncle's money by then. After the audit my uncle said he's going to add another money to my capital then after four years he would settle me,I refused citing that apprenticeship wasn't our agreement initially, the mother caused a big issue to the extent it had to be settled in the village. I had to leave my uncle's house to my parents since we couldn't reach a compromise, as for his capital over the years I had borrowed him money on several occasions which was already more than what he gave me as my capital, I forgot the balance and left.

Three months after I left my uncle, my goods was intercepted by customs in Benin, my agent which coincidentally happened to be that my uncle put my goods ( and that of others) in a vehicle carrying second hand tyres from Lagos to the east and everything in the vehicle was confiscated. We spent 5months trying to get the goods back spending the remaining savings I had,it was released after six months but most of the goods was either stolen or sold by customs, I got only around 10% of my seized goods back. I was back to square one.

After all my attempts to raise another capital proved abortive I gave up and started doing menial jobs to survive,my mom would always encourage me that I'm still young and would rise again. Two years after nothing tangible was fort coming, I was dead broke and depressed, I started feeling pressure at home when I couldn't bear it I relocated to port Harcourt in search of greener pastures. I slept in parks and slums till I managed to get a security job with a 15k salary then,I worked for some years and discovered that I wasn't making any progress in life,I wasn't saving anything and was still stagnant. I decided to venture into education, even though it wasn't my first choice at least I would have a certificate to be proud of after some years.

I got admission in the federal university in Benue in 2017 at the age of 25 to study statistics/computer science (bsc ed) it wasn't my choice but time was not on my side , most of my mates then had graduated and even working. My year one was hell, I resumed school with just my bag of cloths, no accommodation nor food stuffs, I slept in lecture halls and sometimes went for lectures without bathing,one time I called my dad and he said if I can't bear it I should abandon the school and come back,I later managed to get someone to squat me in the hostel, I got home during nuga break to meet the news that my dad just bought a land,so this man had money to buy land and allowed me to suffer in school ( he mind sha ).

Fast forward 3 years later and I'm stuck in 300 level not knowing what to do with my life,just being in school is not enough for me, I need to earn money because I became independent at a young age and depending on my parents now is serious giving me a cause for concern. I stayed back in school during the lockdown so I could think about my life, after reading some threads on nairaland I decided to go into programming since I had a semi abacus laptop on it's last legs,I got links to free courses on udemy and also enrolled for free courses on Alison and pirple.

Learning programming brought my joy back,I loved the critical thinking involved and realized I hated it before because of the way it was taught by our lecturers,I started with web development (HTML and CSS) and I observed I was grabbing it quit fast. Data was a problem but I managed the mid night subscription each time I manage to get airtime. I was happy once more cause I could code for hours on an empty stomach and I wouldn't care then tragedy struck again.

My system developed a fault, vertical lines appeared on the screen and it started having difficulty in booting,it finally gave up the ghost a few days later. I tried to improvise by using my phone to code but it was a horrible experience and I gave up. back to square one again,I had to go home and I haven't gotten myself ever since.

How do I break free from this poverty since I came back I have looked for job without luck, I haven't earned a dime since this year since I parted ways with my boss whom I learnt interlocking and concrete stamping under,the man was using me like a slave. Motivational speakers would say there's light at the end of the tunnel but mine looks like a maze/roundabout tunnel. I got home and yahoo is the trending stuff in the area even my younger ones has joined, my younger brother nearly picked 7million before the aza was killed in the dying minute (whatever he means by that), I seem to be the only one among my set that's still broke, I can't even remember the last time I got anything for my self, now I wear my younger brothers cloths and they recharge my phone for me,how long will I continue like this?? ..... I don't want to follow the yahoo band wagon, I'm beginning to lose hope.

Pls I need your comments and advice

This is too lengthy, but the key to stay away from poverty is to get some thing doing and stay away from laziness

AFONJAPIG:
a friend of mine needs advice , and I think I should bring it here for you guys to give ur advices, here it goes

My girlfriend got preg for me 8yrs ago, it wasn't smooth because she's still a young girl of 18 and I in my early 20s, we later had issue during that time because I Invited her to my place so we can have face to face chat on a way forward , she refused to come because we are not living in the same state and she thought my Sole motive of the invitation is to force her to abort the baby but that wasn't my intention, her mother and people were on my neck then, steady calls from her people got me more confused because am still a boy then in my earlier 20s still living with parents and without job, we lost contact after one serious arguments , she stopped calling and I as well see is as excuses to stay afar since am not ready for any of this , in the cause of it I lost my phone and all my contacts gone, fast forward to present day after that incident 6months after I traveled Abroad and was there for 4yrs , I found out 2yrs after, that she kept the baby, after I saw one of her newly unused Facebook account, I chatted her up but no response after months, I tried cousin sister who happens to be her friend because I knew her through my cousin sis , I tried all I could to establish contact but my cousin , her friends didn't help at all , she refused to give me her number claiming she didn't have it ,, I came back home after 4yrs I went to my cousin and I found out the girl is now married, I tried to get her number from my cousin but she equally don't have it. I tried Facebook, I created another account with my cousin's name and pictures and I tagged the girl
old Facebook account uploaded her picture with caption (looking for an old friend) within 2days one lady inbox me , she said she knw her, that she married one of her cousin, I begged her to give me her number pretending to be my cousin because I knw she won't give it to me if I said am a man, she later gave me the number after 2 days , the first day I made the first call I used another name but I was surprised how she knw it was me after so many years of not in contact with me, well our talk was smooth ... I asked her to give me her address which she did, the following week I went to see her place , I drove her somewhere quiet and we had a nice conversation , I told her it wasn't totally my fault that I tried to established contact after I left Nigeria and was financially ok to take care of her and the baby, but she told me she just married 2yr after giving birth and the man took the boy as his , because he was a pastor, I told her I took part of the blame for not trying to tell anyone even my parents or my eldest sister whom I knw will take care of the girl and baby without me stressing over it , my mother heard it from his brother's mouth as in form of rumour and which they didn't gave her the full details because when she pressure them they said it's a lie, to cut it short, I want to settle down by December and I think it's right to tell my wife to be about a son I had outside to avoid future issues, I asked the girl if am permitted to tell my wife to be the truth or should I burry it forever, she said I am free to tell her , but the boy is the only person to decide where to go when he come up of age , and am planing to relocated with my wife to be to my base along with the boy, now my problem , do you think it's right to tell the child that a man he used to knw throughout his lifetime is no longer his father and that a stranger is now his real father , I don't want to be selfish on this or to hurt anyone feeling, both the mother , the boy young 9yrs and the good man who was taking care of him since birth , I accepted to pay all the damages and all the money they spent on him and am not in a hurry to take the boy but atleast let me stamp my presence in his life instead of answering uncle... Is it right to tell him now or should I wait until he come up on age... Please your advices are need on this

This a sensitive issue and must be handled with caution to avoid heart break

You have to inform your wife to be so that she will be aware that she has a step son

It's now left for her to continue or pull out

You will have to meet your son step dad, introduce yourself to him in a most polite manner and let him know that, you didn't come to take the child away but to let him know that you ate back to his life and circumstances beyond you made you not to be there all these while

Meanwhile, thank him for being there in your gap and ask him what to pay him as compensation for bringing up the child

You see, you can't really pay all because it was not written but if you have up to 500k / 1m to give to that family, pls do give to him and his wife to appreciate them

Then gradually, he can visit you over there and bond with your family and after his primary or secondary school, he can relocate

Honestly, his exist will create a vacum in that family that's why you withdraw him gradually

He still have a lot with that family because that's the family he knows and he will continue to have alot with them

While that is going on, make sure you keep in touch with his step dad and pay for his school fees and upkeep to him

Be the family friend you have to be and when the child sees how you bond he will be glad to know that he has two families

Try to find out his current surname and if its not your surname, discuss with the step dad to change to your name

Lastly, maintain good relationships with the man especially and communicate more with him than the wife

It's best his wife gets information from him than him getting information from his wife about you

Trust is important at this stage

Johnnyjohnnyman:
Good evening all
I posted my first story here back in January about how my job was ended and my wife maltreated me because I was duped by my sister anyway you can go to my profile to read more. I came back to share the good news with you all and for advice too.
So far my sister that duped me has repaid me back money money with an extra 200k so far I had received 400k from her on the 26th of July which I am very grateful to the almighty God I am planning to start up business very soon.
Where I need advice is
I left my wife back in February and went back to my mother house I have been here for six months now. My wife has never bothered calling me unless I called her sometimes she picked it up and sometimes she never which I understood her she was angry for what I did . But after I left the house she started dating her colleague from work which I got proofs with me but I never confronted her because I had no money so confronting her would have make matters worse. She stopped me from visiting my own children for six months I haven’t seen them apart from speaking to them on the phone. I had never bothered her and let her be to do as she pleases. But I was surprised yesterday being Sunday she visited me with the children and knelt down to beg for my forgiveness that she is sorry for everything the way she treated me that she wanted me back home with her and the kids . I was a bit confused and couldn’t believe my eyes . I was wondering if someone had told her about me receiving the money back from my sister maybe that was why she has deceived to have me back but I doubts because apart from my mother nobody else knows that I had received the money and my mother had no contact with her for a very long time now . Well I haven’t told her anything about the money I told her I haven’t gotten a job yet so it wouldn’t be possible for me to go back home with her to avoid adding more burden to her but she was adamant that I should come home that she will take care of everything. But I ask her to give me sometimes to think about that . She bombarded me with loves messages on WhatsApp she is really trying to win me back . But I don’t know if I should go back to her honestly because she cheated on me in my absence only God knows how long the relationship had been going on maybe it started even before I lost my job because the guy in question is slyer colleague from work she spend most time with him at work and outside work and she was bringing him home to my children when I left the house. I don’t really know what had happened between them that she is now wanting me back . I have lots of things going on in my mind right I don’t think I want her back in my life . My only mistakes was not telling her about the money but apart from that I had never cheated on my wife never ever. Even after leaving the house I have never slept with any other woman but she cheated on me which is worse than what I did to her . I love my children I want to be a part in their life I will provide all their needs . I want to confront and tell her that I don’t want her back because she cheated on me but I will be there for my children anytime .Kindly need your advice.

For now, the most important thing is for you to find your bearing

May be, her head is correct now and she has realised how important you are to her before the break up

What she did has threatened your love, trust and peace over her, so you need time to be sure that you are reconciling for good and not to separate again

Meanwhile, your priority is to think of what to do to get yourself back besides don't tell her about the money yet and if she gives you anything like money, don't collect it ask her to add it to the children upkeep

You guys can't even just reconcile without your individual families because it has affected both families indirectly

For now, I suggest you still stay with your mother and let her really feel your absence and when she does, she knows those to contact for you to come back

As for her relationship with the so called colleague, if you want to reconcile with her, she has to promise you that she is done with him and make a call in your presence on a speaker to denounce her relationship with him as she wants to go back to her marriage

Having done that, it's now left for you to forgive her

Women, especially married women are not good to he left unattended, forget about pretense but its a fact

mardis:
Good day nairalanders,
Please i want your views on this issue. My husband and i are from different tribes so we speak different language. Our communication language at home is English. We had our first child, so we all speak English to her, aside English she doesn't understand any language, she is 3+. So i decided that i will speak my language to our second child from infancy. In that way the elder one can pick up. The problem now is that, my husband is trying to go against it saying, the child will not be able to speak English fluently in future which i disagreed. All efforts to make him understand proved abortive. I even gave example of my niece in the village whose parent don't speak English also in the environment they only speak native language. This my niece can speak and read English fluently. She loves reading story books. I even told my husband to speak his dialect to the younger so the elder one and i can learn. He only does that once in a blue moon.

Note, the children in my compound communicate in English when they come out to play.


I will appreciate your input because i will share the link with him so he can see. He isn't a nairalander. Thanks

Couple who married from different tribes, are at advantage for the children to speak both tribes because the child surname has already identified the child, the child's ability to speak the mothers tribe is an added advantage

A child will always speak English, unless those born in remote villages, but for a city, no matter the native tongue, that child must speak in English without even being thought

It's even easier for the child to speak English to the native language

There is nothing wrong with teaching her your language and you have to learn his language too so that you can as well teach the children his own dialect

But the issue now is that he doesn't speak his language often so how then will you learn his language

Let him allow you teach the child your language

In some marriages I saw, children speak more of mother language than dad because she imbibe it into them and as they grow the brings in dad language too

xynerise:
I have heard some women say " I am still in this marriage because of the children" when they complain about how terrible their husbands are.

Domestic violence is now common in many marriages and I am not specific to any sex as both are victims of it. Apart from domestic violence, there are other reasons one may become fed up in a marriage..

Inasmuch as some religious folks will speak against separation in marriage, there is still a point one can draw the line to let go.

My question now is, would you rather remain in a psychologically uncomfortable marriage because of your children or let go irrespective of how it affects the children?

Mothers will find it difficult to leave their marriage because of the children needs her attention and support

Most women are in abusive marriage because they can't leave the children for another woman to look after, besides those children are the real reason she is still living in a situation her husband starts frustrating her

The good thing is that after all her suffering the children never leaves her even up till old age

That's why a sensible man trys to avoid issues with the wife as its difficult to separate children from their mothers

olaajilaran:
Hello doctors in the house, for a while now, my sister has been complaining of pain in her toe,
Initially I suspected it was "Athlete foot disease", she applied Some topical creams and the pain disappeared.

Not long ago, she started complaining of the pain again and it was worse than before. The pain was excruciating, most times, my sister wakes up crying

Doctors and pharmacists in the house, kindly help me check this out, pictures are attached below. The toe is also swollen. Help me diagnosis and effective medications please.

(PS: I still suspect it's Athlete foot disease or Onychomycosis, but I need better knowledge from the doctors in the house. Thank you)

That toes looks infected by bacteria and it looks dirty even at this point

It's nothing much to worry about but still needs some drugs

She should be washing that particular toes with hot water and detol and keeps the entire feet neat

The nails growing in the toes need to be cut out especially the one by the corner

A pharmacist can prescribe drugs which is an antibiotics

She will be fine but must keep the leg neat always, because it doesn't look neat

ennyj01:
They are school she applied for, they don't do post utme. What they do is screening. They will calculate your result and your jamb result to get 100.

So the better your waec and jamb result, the higher your score..

That's why

Ohh really, pls name the schools for me and the courses they offer

Mastakija:
nawa o
d person won deactivate in account
e no talk say e won deactivate in lyf na

OK, thanks

ikechukwu150:
Is this what you're going to tell the poor Dude. You are not a good person at alllll.

Just tell me what's wrong with this

lifenija:
already having pussy all d way like urs, wat else u offering him apart from ur wahala of give me give me give men in return i love u baby lets bang finish

Am done with you

ennyj01:
Those that have uploaded result before, I mean those that have done GCE in the past and then uploaded it because they thought they won't be able to pick awaiting result. What will happen to them now? Because my sister is among those that will start waec on the 17th of this month and she uploaded her past result because of fear they won't be admitted since waec won't be ready. And the result ain't that excellent, it is mostly filled with "C" and I am sure the WAEC she wanna do now, she is gonna ace her papers at least "B's" and "A's"


Will they be allowed to remove their old result and pick awaiting result?

What's wrong with Cs in waec, that's OK naw, unless she wants to do another course that requires As and Bs

Onyeigbo10000:
thanks

God will see you through

Maxymilliano:
https://dailynigerian.com/kano-court-sentences-singer-to-death-for-blasphemy-against-prophet-muhammad/

Can you imagine these people with their religion

Let them come and see how Christians are tolerating theirs

Acidosis:
Hmmmn

Lol

plessis:
[s][/s]

Fallacy of hasty generalization.

Speak for your father and brothers.

Some of us have great respect for our bodies.

In did

xynerise:
Funny enough, I have heard people especially married men say they love their wives but they have side chics. I begin to wonder what power does love has towards infidelity?

Does it mean one can hurt the person he/she loves intentionally and still profess love for that person?

You reading this should ask yourself when you cheated (if you have), were you still in love with your partner?

If yes, then what is this LOVE we are talking about if it involves hurting the one we love?

Does it mean we love verbally and not practically, or Love is not enough to stop one from cheating?

Love is absolutely enough to prevent one form cheating especially women

But for men, they are serial cheaters and can love their wives and love their girlfriend and still have a lover

I don't know why they where wired so

They just don't want to stay one place

Yet don't want a woman to do same as if they don't like varieties

thorpido:
Wetin we go call this now?

LOVE

dre11:
Love at isolation centre: Discharged patient ignores father, goes home with soldier



SOURCE

They should be left alone now, non of them is a minor

The most important thing is for them to be happy with themselves

Vidodino:
There is this friend of my she Ignored me. But leter come back to me now, I just accepted her, and give her another chance but still the same stories like some time if I called her on phone she will not reply even though I noticed that she is on line she will not pick my calls or called back. Now after a month now she is calling me back, despite we're are far distant. Pls I don't want delay. I need advice please

You don't want delay on what?

No hurry in love

Atolu01:
They won't. Stick to age mates.

Don't mind him, he wants to die quick

Nuttella:
Why can't he look for ladies in the age bracket of 30+?

Leave him, he wants to die quick

Nicepoker:
Because you people give room to be used as element of merchandise. Una too like money.

Because you guys are ready to give it to them
Stop giving them and they will stop requesting for money

lifenija:
b4 ko, wat else apart from pussy are u offering

Wipe that off your brain, else you have more issues with women

Goodplace:
A man of 42 wants a pretty lady, young, to marry. But he thinks he might be to old for her... What can he do... Pls advice.

He will even get a lesser age if he wants

But he should be ready to be taking BP drugs

diasporaman:
A Nigerian man The Media Apostle has advised wives to equally submit their full salary to their husbands just the same way the Bible admonishes them to submit themselves to their own husbands.

This is what he posted on Facebook:

It is written "Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands"
Submitting your full SALARY is also welcomed

Men should I increase the volume?� � �

He will wait tire until he gets frustrated

Any man that marries his wife for the sake of what she earns wants to hate himself

Mumben:
Gd morning nlders, this is a family issue.
In a family where one amongst all is more privileged than the others as a result of exposure to opportunities, is it adviceable to not show your siblings the way for fear they might become rude and ungrateful in the long run?
Worthy of note is that this privileged one doesn't Dole out money anyhow whether to siblings or parents and even gets angry when his not so buoyant junior does things that involves money for d family. He sees d gesture as trying to compete with him.
Pls nlders, what is ur take on this? Honest replys

Some members of the family who are buoyant may not tell you how far and may now want to give cash depending on his source of wealth

Just try on your own to stand up like wise everyone

Your struggle is not to compete with him but to fe d for yourself

Though you didn't mention what help he refuse to offer

He has lost his job and will loose his life too

Stupidity personified

jmdw02:
Thank you ma for this response

Thanks too

jmdw02:
yes the girl aint interested in relationship stuff....though 1k and tp aint bad and she is calm and smelt so nice but it seems she is codedly into hook up

Congratulations

Oluromantic:
I like your sensibility

Thanks

jmdw02:
she is not my gf just a hook up

What's the difference, no wonder you have to pay

jmdw02:
I had before but i was happy she left bcus she was so boring...she doesnt kiss nor romance all she does is to lie down while i masturbate myself to be in mood and penetrate her and then i started having weak erection and it seems she aint attractive to me....so the girl i met is just friend with no strings and she did good job for me in fact mere seeing her alone i am already hard and the last time we had it i didnt last long on first round but second round i spent close to 30 minutes without cumming ,she gave me hand job yet i didnt cum though i enjoyed it and i just gave her a token

That's a good one then learn to keep her for the time being

The moment she understands your position in her life, the better for both of you

Give her a place in your heart and you don't have to be paying per game