₦airaland Forum

nigeriagospel:
As young boy I lost my mum at the age of six, put up with my grandma, lost contact with my father for close to19 years until I have to go look for him myself.

Growing up with my grandmum was not easy at all, I will have to hawk beans cake popularly knowns as akara in the morning before going to school hence I was a perpetual late comer all through my primary and secondary school days until I stopped while in SS 1,

Its took the effort of my grandma for me to have secondary school education as I was abandoned and look down on by my uncles and auties.

So attaining university education was totally out of the plan.

I grew up without love as a one man mopol or something worse which is really affecting my relationship, lest I forgot my sister fell sick and due to lack of support from family I lost her and we were just two our mum had.

Am a grown up man now and my relationship with people is being affected, thanks to my rugged upbringing, I have this strong feeling there is nobody I cannot do without, it makes me so unemotional towards opposite sex and many issues of life.

My ex call to tell me its over between us, my response was OK I have heard you without asking any question and I felt nothing, not as if I don't love her, immediately she said so, one spirit in me just whispered to me , hey there is nobody you can't live without, you have lost the most important people in your life who is she?

A months later she call to rant on how am not human, how am suppose to ask why she said so and blablabla.

I don't seems to take this serious at all.

I approach a lady we got talking but she was forming hard to get, I just delete her from my mind we still bump on each on the road, I joke with her, we laugh but I never ask her out again. After some months she call to tell me I was not serious about it at the first place that I would have persist in asking her out that she likes me already the first day I ask her out. The problem I have is that I lose interest in things so easily.

Can I ever change or fall in love and remain in love for a long time?

Happiness comes with a price and the price us relating with people

Change your mind set before you get married

Start now to have human feelings and a good loving heart towards people

If you don't treat people with love and care, if you open a business nobody will come there twice because you don't know how to keep customers

If you have a girl friend with this attitude of solo life, you will keep remaining sad because non will stay long with you

your forming hard man will lead you to lonely part both in your youth and old age

Your wife and children will not relate with you as expected

Whatever that happens to your upbringing is over now

Don't use your past to frustrate your future

If you think you can make a forest then you will be cut off for the land to be use for cultivation because one tree can't make a forest

hearttolove:
It's being a big struggle and challenging to love each other as siblings. As it stands, we may never stand as one except God intervene, I really mean this, only God can bring us together. My parent created a poor background for us, particularly my self n my sister grow up to become defensive due to how we were maltreated.

My younger siblings and my mum want to continue in that old way, they never believed those of us who grew up from the village can make it.

Am from a family of 8, for over 3 years now, I have not related with my mum and my other siblings (long story - just better I cut off, I still don't see myself going back to them, I actually never wanted to but I discovered they get angry with me whenever I have a major breakthrough). whenever I achieved a new feat, I would never discuss it if I want peace.

Why did I ask if they are jealous? My sister said this and I was amazed '' you will not be the only one to have money, all of us will have money so that all the family members will love us too''. This statement is so deep to me, not only this but so many other statements pointing to the fact that they are jealous.

I'm not the selfish type, I remembered my first salary, I shared it among all my family members, especially the elderly ones and all my siblings. I told them to use it to pray for me. I did not stop there, I don't limit my giving to my siblings and parent, I grew up with my grandma so I'm close to my uncles and cousins, so I give to those of them who don't have, I think with this my gesture, it is natural to get them to love me more. I wasn't and am not doing that to make them love me, I can't be eating and someone in my family isn't eating or drop out of school due to lack of school fees. God forbid it.

My family and extended family don't joke with me and all of my siblings know this. Now, ask if my siblings aren't doing well, they do (not as much as me), they don't give, one of them prefers to be seen as poor self, she was earning little and when she got a better job, she never announced it, she wanted everyone to see her the same as she was.

I'm my siblings enemy, in fact, my mum told them I used their destiny and that they should stay away from me, my elder sister believes I did something evil to have money (their belief of me eeeh, it is crazy, how can a salary earner be seen as a ritualist?) I don't own a business, I'm not a politician - am just a salary earner. My mum started this whole thing of I'm a ritualist. when I delayed before having kids she told me my hubby used his manhood for money ritual, I told my hubby and we both laughed at her ignorance. My response to her was, 'How much is he earning? don't you know some earns more in his industry'? Her response was ehnnn, that's those who did money rituals like him.

My hubby doesn't take people seriously, he relates with you in your estate, he never took it personal when I told him, he just pitied her and said she may never move up because she has limited.

Now, their attitude has made me keep working harder n harder and praying to God for protection.

I'm never free with my siblings before we parted ways, I can't make a joke so the won't read a different meaning to it. Right now, I do not have their numbers because I discovered they blocked me on Whatsapp, unfriend me on all social media platforms so I just deleted their numbers.

At times I wonder how this hatred for ourselves degenerated to this, for over 13 years we've not lived together, so how come we never still agree from distance? We left our homes 13 years ago and things only got worst in our relationship. I was told one is out of reach for over 2 years now.

How far can siblings go with much hatred for themselves? I can go on and go, I will only bore you all. So tiring.

Relax, what did I say ❓
I said relax

In every family, God chooses whom he will bless on behalf of the family


It could be a girl or a boy

God has blessed you, there is nothing any man can do to stop you

Even if you sell fried akara, you will sell a bag for 3days

You have been destined for success and anything others do you will succeed more

Whatever money you have will be multipling, that means you will solve financial problems and still have reserves

Your siblings are doing what they are expected to do, their reason's are, why you instead of another person in the family

It's call envy and fighting them will make you get pained

Best way to handle it is, just keep quiet and be looking at them

They will gather against you but will be failing in their plans

Thank God that you are married, focus on your marriage and start planning for your home

Buy lands with the consent of your husband and start developing the land for your future residence

They have not seen the best in your progess, more are still coming

If they come to you for help, don't give them cash, ask for their account details and send the money to them if it's convenient for you

As for your mum, make sure you send money to her for her monthly upkeep, it's a must you have to do that but don't give her cash

If she doesn't have an account open one for her

But you must do one thing and that thing is keep your mouth close and seeled

Let the result of your success speak for you

If you don't take time, hubby will start suspecting your success, so don't tell him all what your family says, unless he is the type that can take bullet for you

Try hard and establish hubby incase he is not standing well

You must not be stingy because if you spend and assist people, there will be vacancies in your purse and the money will come and fill it

But if you are stingy, your money will not go out and the one coming will not see space to enter

Don't call them for peace talk, it won't work

But if they call you for peace talk tell them that you don't have any issues with anyone

All they want is your downfall and when they don't get it, their secrets will be open

As for your mum, you are owing her, her up keep and don't be too far or too close to her

She is just biased and she has compromised with your siblings, breaking away from them will be difficult unless she is ready to confess and ask for your forgiveness

Silent is the best form of attitude in your own case

Good luck and keep souring

Die hard supporters dying for someone cooling off somewhere

My question is, how many lives do we need to lose to free this man ❓

This guy just like looking for trouble

You will soon make prison your transit camp

He should marry her, their marriage and that child will remind him of his stupidity

This thing called love is very sweet only if you can get the right partner

Family is everything for this guy, that's how it should be and there will be peace at home

Committed man

Tamasaba:
The woman go fit born pikin so? Ordinary dick wey no big pass baby thighs?

Baby head comes out once

Dick goes there uncountable times

gracegrace668:
Hello everyone. Please, I'm not a newbie on NL. I opened this account to protect my identity.

I never thought I'd use this word to ever describe myself. Sadly, I am an alcoholic. It has taken me a great deal of embarrassment and pain to finally come to this conclusion.

I'm a female in my early 20's. One of the first things people comment on when we have a conversation is how intelligent I am. Good enough, I fair well academically and have done so for as long as I can remember. There is this dark side of me however. I am an alcohol addict.

I've read about my condition, especially at times when I swear I would never indulge in excessive drinking anymore. A person like me is called a functioning alcoholic. I started drinking as a way to forget some emotional and troubles but as I see, this in no way helps especially longterm.

I drink everything from wine, spirits to liquor. I go out with friends that drink. I go out to drink alone. I buy some alcohol to drink at home. I go from laying on the bed to walking out to buy alcohol. I just drink, drink and drink. I'm very ashamed of this. Sincerely, I want to stop. I want to make more meaningful decisions and relationships.

Please, how do I go about this? What can I do? Is there someone/a Group that helps with this kind of condition? Please help me.

Lalasticlala please help me move this to the permanent site. I'll be reading for suggestions.

Happiness is supposed to come free not with a price

Have you asked yourself what makes you depressed ❓

Is it relationship,
work stress,
failure in life,
family rejection or family problems
Bad friends or bad companies

You are too young to find yourself where you are

Talk to yourself

If you don't take time, you will start smoking all kinds of stuff because it goes together with drinks

Meet anyone you respect so much or considered a mentor to mentor you

jess2019:
I've been a guest here, just opened an account to get some other people's opinion.

I am married with children, my last child will be 9yrs in a few months and we live outside Nigeria. End of last year I found out I was pregnant. Since then I was having mixed emotional feeling about the pregnancy and starting the journey again after almost 9yrs. Everybody at my work place that knew I was pregnant all kept commenting how my life will change as if i don't already know, some asking what have I done to myself as I was almost done with childcare. Throughout my pregnancy I avoided meeting people and not wanting people talking about my pregnancy. My husband couldn't drive for one year and all my pregnancy I was the one joggling work, kids activities and doing Uber for the whole family, it was a challenging period for me and I questioned why the pregnancy came now my hubby could not even help me run errands . All I can say is that hormone also played its role. I couldn't tell my siblings I was pregnant though I ended up informing my mum and my sister two weeks before I had a baby.
We have some few Nigerian friends here. My husband has a friend and when they wanted to relocate here 18months ago we accommodated them until they rented a house, we are also new here, but came few months before them. So we introduced them to our church and all the Nigerian friends we already have. Though we moved house and stopped attending that church but our friend continued worshipping there.
So when I had my baby my husband sent out messages to everyone. Everyone texted back and some called back, some of the ladies saying they didn't know I was pregnant, some saying they knew all along but ONLY this our family friend and husband that never texted back or called. After a day, my husband call the husband and it rang but he didn't pick so we were thinking they went on vacation. So finally my hubby got the wife on the phone and informed her of the arrival of the baby, she claimed they both didn't see the text, and she stated she didn't know I was pregnant. My husband mentioned she should speak to me, she ignored and kept saying how she saw me at someone's party months ago and was asking me if I was pregnant but I said no, she never asked if I was feeling okay or the hospital we are. To be honest I never told her I wasn't pregnant, she was saying where people were at the party oh you've gained weight, I didn't know u were pregnant and I replied its xmas food, don't worry I will lose it with sarcasm and she said its a lie and we switched topic. It's been 3weeks now both the lady and husband have never congratulated us on the baby or called. It's not like this lady calls me, since February this year, she has never called me or texted me. I was the one that called her few weeks before my delivery and its not like she's more busier than me as she doesn't work at the moment; going through exams before she can start looking for work. So if she didn't even see me at the party in March I wonder what she will hold in saying she asked me if I was pregnant at the party.

This is what I think happened; she must have discussed me with another friend as only these two families are giving us attitude. Funny thing is that we introduced them both as their kids go to the same school. Because this lady is also giving me cold shoulder, since I gave birth it took her one week to call me although she replied my husband's baby delivery text. When she called she was saying I was wrong for not informing people that I was pregnant, that people knew I was pregnant all along. I told her I don't have to call people to inform them I was pregnant that if people come to my house they would have seen me with pregnancy or if our kids attended the same school they would have known. Besides, I was not feeling too excited about the pregnancy so I avoided every discussion relating to it. She mentioned she asked me if I was pregnant a while ago and I responded that pregnancy doesn't hide that she will know if i am, she continued saying since I'm married that it's not a shameful thing- I should have shared the news. I replied her that I cant determine how I feel during pregnancy. She ended with that they will come and visit baby. Though her husband called my husband immediately he got the text and till today they've not visited or followed up.

These two families are closest to us or should I say to my husband. Now my husband is very disappointed with these men (his friends), saying its very petty of them to join their wives in whatever is going on.

Going back to the first friend we accommodated, I still cant believe that people can have this mind after everything we did for them. we were the only people they knew when they were came here. We introduced them to our friends which they kept saying how grateful they were then. We are so hurt that they will go this extreme and just ghost on us. The man has been friends with my hubby since 2014, they both worked in the same place and when we moved here, the husband showed interest and my husband spoke to his manager and also got him a job here.
I only got to relate with the wife when they came here though we all moved from the same country but lived in different state and relationship was between our hubbies. What kind of friend will not talk to you if they feel you have wronged them? I dont see how my decision of not disclosing my pregnancy affected their lives. At least even if you are mad that will not stop you from calling another woman that went into labour and discussing whatever you are not happy with later.
It's not like we told some people and left them out. Other friends here are happy, some saying they knew all along. They've been visiting, bringing food, gifts and calling regularly. All our family members are happy including my mother in-law that got to know on the day baby was born which are even the people that have rights to be angry.
Thanks for reading through the long epistle. Sorry typing with one hand.

This was too lengthy

Forget about them and focus on your family

The way they chooses to behave shouldn't be a concern to you because you are not their priority

Zenithsblog:
University Of Abuja Governing Council reinstated their former SUG President Igwe Ude Umanta.

He was unjustly expelled 12 years ago for leading a protest due to lack of water.

He has been recalled to complete his 400 level exam.

See more:
https://zenithnaija.com/uniabuja-recalls-expelled-sug-president-ude-umanta-after-12-years/

He should be given free masters course, before then employ him with his first degree after graduation

He should be given free masters course, before then employ him with his first degree after graduation

omooba969:
I get your drift... good morning to you

Good morning and have a lovely week

omooba969:
This is a lovely comment & I hope you will be in the same frame of mind if it's the other way next time.

Tables do turn...

Lol,

The truth is most baby mama took in fir a guy even without his permission

Once there are continuous sex in a relationship, expect pregnancy

But its only a man that knows who he wants to marry

Pregnancy can't really trap a man

But if you like eating yam, you will have to accept it when pounded

omooba969:
This is a lovely comment & I hope you will be in the same frame of mind if it's the other way next time.

Tables do turn...

Lol,

The truth is most baby mama took in fir a guy even without his permission

Once there are continuous sex in a relationship, expect pregnancy

But its only a man that knows who he wants to marry

Pregnancy can't really trap a man

But if you like eating yam, you will have to accept it when pounded

Catbabie:
We got married married early this year,our wedding is not up to 6months then my husband is being cheating on me with his female colleagues.
He introduced the lady to me,we becomes friends,eat together,play together, gist together. she will visit me and I will also visit her family.
Mind you the lady is legally married with 2 kids.
So how do you except me to know she is dating my husband. she came to my weddings with her kids despite the long distance to the village for the wedding.
How I caught them?
My husband has been keeping his phone away from me since we got married but it never occur to me that he his cheating on me.
So on a faithful Friday night I do a vigil watching holy ghost Congress on dove TV which I slept late.I saw my hubby phone playing candy crush with light on,I checked his phone saw his chat with other girls found nothing so I decided to check my friend chat with my hubby only to receive shock of my life.
They had sex yes,everywhere,even in my matrimonial home,offices,the lady matrimonial house e.t.c
My hubby will told me that they sent him to ekiti from work only to find from their chats that he used to go with the lady to ekiti with the lady to have nice weekend.
To caught the long story short...my hubby beg me and the lady after being caught but they didn't stop.They continue their love affair's, always online at the same time chatting and my hubby still hides his phone from me.I even caught them on the road together while going to flex they were shock to see me and they claim they are not seeing each other anymore.
Have forgiven both of them but its hurt me that I haven't enjoy my husband to myself for a day after our wedding. Have been sharing him and they are not ready to stop.
Now my questions is,should I tell the lady husband? So she can leave my hubby alone bcs they believe is only me that sha know that the lady hubby didn't know.
Please advice me...am hurt,depress and frustrated

If you know that you can survive without your husband, inform the lady's husband and send a screen grab if one of the charts the had

If you know that you want to protect your marriage, don't inform her husband, call her to your house tell her thst you are going to pray that she will never find peace for distracting your husband from you

Then bear in mind, men don't have the kind of deep feelings women have, that's why they cheat without feeling for women

Harden your heart and be focused, when you get your stability, you won't feel bad about it

But if he continues, there is this tendency thst you will cheat on him, it's always the case, just to get back on him

This is one of the signs that your brain is not working as expected

Pls go and visit a psychiatrist to evaluate you before it get to another stage

Stop being anxious in everything you do, just calm down and calculate before taking off or taking decisions or doing things

Saveme27:
I'm sinking into depression right now, I don't know for how long I can keep holding on as I have no one to talk to.
5years ago I gained admission into UI but I dropped out few months later due to lack of funds and no support from family, so I decided to join the military and was hoping I could use the money to train myself through school but it didn't work out as I was posted to North East and I've been busy trying to survive first, so I decided to start saving and use the money to travel out in the nearest future.
It took me 4 years to save 1.1m, so I decided to use the money to travel into a country I can work and have a little peace of mind, so after processing everything and I got visa last week, only to realise the money i had wasn't enough to go through with the journey with the type of visa I applied for. Now I'm soliciting for hell please if anyone can help, I have no one to call upon, the visa is expiring by next month August. I'm sinking into depression and feel like ending my life

You were so much in a hurry in life

You would have considered the cost implications before processing the visa

You already have a permanent job, why do you think it's wise yo leave the job, what if the place you plan to travel to doesn't favour you, will you come back home ❓

If you come back home, where will you fix yourself ❓

You know that you font have people helping you, why are you over tasking yourself

Your first visa is six months and you are expected to go and come back before it expires, now its too short for you go and come back before expiration

Next time plan well, meanwhile you have wasted thst money

You would have gotten a woman of your choice and settle down here and enjoy that joy that comes with happy marriage

Pls don't be a bug on people because the economy is too hard and every one has his own challenges

Face your work and study part-time studies so that you can upgrade yourself

Get a wife and start planning early

farous:
The sexual life of the marriage of years has been fantastic but started collapsing since 2 to 3 years now

There was an issue that lead to some 5 to 6 months of separation before we re united again and I'm those months of separation both of us messed up by having extra marital affair which we confessed and forgiven each other

But right from the day we reconciled till date, the fantastic sexual life has gone bad as I am the only one that initiates sex till today,unlike those years before the separation either she or I do initiate it and make love on frequent basis,but never the same, she don't even care or have sexual feelings to me again unlike those time

There was a statement she used to make within the fist month we re united most time I made love with her and I quote" All these your small boy love make self.... Bla bla"
The statement do get me annoyed and I warned her never go make such statement again as its an insult to me because over the years we have been living together, you never make such, and now we re united such statements keep voicing out with boldness, she stopped it.

I have sat her down severally and asked her why all these non initiation of sex from her again or feeling to have sex with me anymore the way it used to be, that I am now the one that initiates sex and feels having sex with you and many times u turn me down or giving one complain or the other and even if we lie on the bed you turn your face the other side and all these changes started when we re united after 5 months separation.The only answer she give me was that I don't use to talk romantic sweet words to her. I objected it and told her that if for the past years we have been staying and our sexual life was fantastic and enjoyable, was I not the same person of no romantic sweet words(as you claimed)those years?,how come it's after this little separation and reuniting that all these excuse started manifesting? ,I even went to the extent of asking her to open up with me if I don't satisfy to compare with the ones both of us put hand on during separation,or should I increase even my manhood etc, in fact I was confused, I don't know what to do,but she did not say any further thing

To cut the story short,this weekend, I got annoyed and sat her down that since for close to 3 years now, I am the one that initiates almost 98 percent of love making,and her lack of sexual feelings on me anymore as well as all time facing the other side anytime we lie on bed, that henceforth, that we should be sleeping separately as there is no need sleeping together as husband and wife and no need disturbing her anymore to make love, that I feel I am being rejected and I am forcing myself on her, that I can't continue,sex is enjoyable tru the role and cooperation of feelings from both partners and very boring when it's always one partner making and having the feeling,that I know what I am passing tru, that I have tried and I feel she is getting satisfaction and joy elsewhere and should continue the way as it pleases her.

She said she is not having affairs outside and that God is the one to judge and that if I am no longer interested in the marriage why can't I take her back to his father's house and rightful quit

Please kindly advise, I am fed up for three years is not three months and till date she refuse to tell me the cause of her act. Thank you

You have a lot of work to do

She has tasted another guy during your separation and that must have changed her mind set with you

That same experience exposed her to the real act of love making and women love hearing romantic and sweet words that will turn the on

You have to calm down and sit her down and ask her how she wants you to put it wright

Your relationship is now like a sticker, once removed, might not stick well again

Sex is what women enjoys in a relationship with guys who does it better

If you thinks she is giving up, no way, once you can't turn her on to to make the move, her mind is reflecting on the other one

It's either you work on yourself or deal with it

Natoski5:
23 year old second house!?? Work of the Almighty konji

But you read where she says she thanked her husband ❓

You would have just married her as she Has a child for you instead of keeping her to be a baby mama

Probably she felt you ar not going to marry her and someone else is willing to marry her

Just deal with it pls, I don't want to blame her

No big do, better than flirting around town

Anger has done so much distruction to human beings

Haba ❗❗❗

How many in a week ❓

Every world best is in china

For that man to be abandoned by his family, shows that he abandoned his family when he was himself

inoki247:
New methods to deal with Rapist

Castration

This is one of the challenges thier women are going through and their people are complacent with it

Their tradition in marriage of their daughters has made so many of them to marry outside the state because their men can't afford the requirement

Even their men marries outside their state for same reasons

Watch it, most ibo people married to the yorubas are mainly form Imo state, because the yorubas doesn't know the difference

Is not as if their daughter's makes good wife, they are good at having their husbands alone to themselves

They have this domineering treath of not wanting anybody from the husband families close to their husbands except her.

And the worst is, if you don't finish that marriage rites, if anything happens to her and she dies, you must complete it before the family will permit you to go ahead with the burial

Most single ladies you see all over check it, they are from there and its affecting them because no one is fighting against it

It's a community or family thing, if you refuse your own intending inlaws to have such list, then you won't attend others and probably you will be ostracised

He is destined to be in prison

donprinyo:
Cement wahala

No at all


The iron rod meant for a storey building capacity is not the same as that of three storey building

The cement misture for pillars carrying the building is different for the one meant for ordinary linted in a bungalow

But they will just mouble up everything to be the same

They should be made blind to remind them of their stupid act

Rest in peace and pls don't relent, go after your killers

Haunt them down