₦airaland Forum

Brokeness:
Maybe due to some financial constraints or some bad economic policy in the country. Would you still stay with him?

Every matured or reasonable woman is expected stay behind

But if the man had that money and never played his role at home

Whatever he sees, let him deal with it

Killbillz:
But he's not wrong. Menstruation is no excuse to misbehave and manipulate anyone. I guess it's her nature and she sees it as an avenue to maltreat the guy. I have been around girlfriends in their periods and I have never experienced anything close to that shiid. It's not pregnancy

When they say women are drama queens

Do you think they it's a joke

If a woman want to be funny while with you

She will start a drama that will keep you in suspense

Real men that understands that don't have issues with that

PureFace1:
yeah dey play because most women don't want to take responsibility for their shitty behaviors.

It may be normal to get occasional mood swings here and there but excessive and crazy behavior like that is not normal and acceptable, not all women act crazy and treat their guys like shit during their menstrual period so what make her think the guy would keep taking that treatment from her?

It is just like guys that got drunk and started beating their women or maltreat her whenever they are drunk then apologize later , is it every guys that get drunk that beat their women and maltreat her ? many guys can drink and still put themselves in check.

The emotional torture the woman is putting her boyfriend through every menstual period is like her physically beating her boyfriend and you say it is normal. There are so many women out there that won't act crazy when they are on their mentrual period so why should the Op keep taking that kind of treatment from his girlfriend ?

Dey play

Testiebobo:
Most tribes in Nigeria demands that a man should be older than is spouse(wife), in order for d man to gain respect from his wife. But in my own case, am seriously in love with a very pretty lady that is 5years older than me, and am ready to spend the rest of life with her. But my culture does not support dat even my family. And dis lady is very loving, beautiful, sexy and a great cook etc. And I can't afford to lose her. Pls what can I do?

If you are real and both of you are set for settling down, get her pregnant and refuse abortion

Case will settle it's self

Most ladies who are senior to their husband's have more sense of maturity to handle issues of marriage crisis

The Psquare duo,
Peter married Lola who is 5yrs his senior, no one have ever heard of negative news from both of them

Paul married his junior, now they are divorced, they can't handle their affairs

So follow your heart, what a man wants in a relationship is respect not even love

Brokeness:
It's a she. I don't have. I want to borrow from my mum

You can get her a bottle of Amarula cream, it's a drink that ladies love taking, it's about 5/6k

If you can't afford it, go with your mum to give her a verbal thank you

Your mum will pray for her and she will appreciate that prayer more than anything

PureFace1:
It is not normal.

Period or Pregnancy shouldn't be an excuse for women to be controlling and manipulative.

Dey play

GEJDHERO:
PLS I NEED ADVICE .Am on a crossroad..i know i have to settle down soonest but i also desperately need to buy a new car.I HAVE BEEN USING MY OLD CAR FOR 10YRS NOW

If the car is so important that you uses it to run your work or business, get a car, sell the old one use the money to marry

LittleBigDick:
I love my gf. But when shes having her period she becomes completely unreasonable. Everything i say is suddenly wrong, she gets skeptical of everything and she demands i make her feel better because she feels bad. Then a week later she apologizes for being like that.
Is this normal?

Its normal
You will experience more when she becomes pregnant

Abemy:
My husband came back home last week while I and the kids were in the living room watching a movie, he quickly sent them to bed

He then called me inside and knelt to start explaining that he had impregnated a woman who is threatening to ruin our marriage unless he agrees to send her abroad.

Upon calculating the cost involved, he felt we could use the money for ourselves and was therefore asking me to forgive him for cheating on me.

Now my problem is I don't know how to tell my husband that the woman is just a chronic liar. I am that confident because I know my husband is medically impotent. However, I am scared I'll lose my marriage if he gets to know that the kids at home are also not his.

Advising him for a DNA test may also affect me too.


How do I stop this woman from destroying our marriage?

Copied

I think you should just leave that issue for the woman to have the child

Convince him to invest the abroad money into your own family

He knows he is impotent so when the real time comes that other woman will later take her child to the real biological father

I think the money your husband have, is what the woman is after

IntelligentGoat:
Greetings to all nairalanders
A quick one.
Is it wrong for a husband to live in his wife community while she works there?
I have a property in her community before getting married to her and she is the only heir to her parents. And I lost my both parents since 2006 before marriage. The community is rapidly developing and have every other ethnicity as land and property owners which I'm prevelage to be a property owner here too.
Her parents are caring and supportive too to us.
Is it safe to raise my children here or I should move out completely to avoid future stories that touches.
I need your sincere and honest advise on this matter.
No insult please.

Well as long as you are making progress, I don't think that's an issue

So far you know that you are not interested in her what she will inherit from her family, just don't relax, stay where you are and establish more

Forget about what people are saying, unless you are a gold digger

Lucky you, her parents are supportive to your family and her parents even appreciate the fact that their only child lives within their reach, that too makes them happy having you around

I know your father's family will not like it, but the fact is that you are making progress there and non of them will assist you better than her family

Smokeybrain:
Happy workers day. Since am at home I decided to voice out what is bordering me. First let me give a preamble about myself. I'm an introvert, I don't take alcohol and I have never been to the club. I work with a commercial bank as an ABO and from Niger Delta. I leave in Lagos. I have two ladies in my life and I kind of confused.
The first lady is base in Abuja, 30 years old and an extrovert. She's unemployed and I have knw her for sometime now. This lady is the type that was perfection in everything. I have told her about my intention that I want committed relationship. She didn't say yes and she didn't say no. All what she did was ask me series of questions and I answered. She hardly calls and check on me. I do the most calls and initiate conversations. She can comfortably stay for days without hearing from me. I invited her to Lagos, she came spent few days and left. When she got home, she sent me a text that she didn't get the vibes she was expecting. I was confused. Vibes! What do u mean? She said connections and vibes was not there. Maybe she expects me to be gisting with her till midnight I don't really know. Sometimes I come back from work late, I will talk little, eat and sleep. I don't really know the vibes and I connections she's talking about. This is the lady I spent on, the her flight ticket I paid for it...am still confused.
The second lady, a Fulani Christian from the north, 24 years base in Lagos. A graduate and a fashion designer. She's just the opposite of the first lady. I don't give her much attention like the first lady but no day will pass without her checking on me. I spend little on her unlike the first lady and she doesn't complain. I will like to get married next year. I'm financially okay. Which of these two ladies should I go for am 31yrs.

I think if you can convince yourself that the fulani lady will be willing to accept your marriage intension then she is the one for you

Hope your family will accept and welcome her base on her tribe without discrimination on her
She on her on side, hope her family will approve her to marry outside her tribe and religion
Would you allow her to practice her religion or both of you will decide on that before marriage

You see that other first lady, you can't handle her life style both of you are opposite and you will spend more on her instead of savings

You dont even have the vibes she needs to be in the relationship

Let her search for her match else where

Trulydude:
All offers are at hand

A. A Federal Polytechnic Assistant Lecturer job that offers around 150k Monthly Gross. (High job security, more relaxing time to run one or two things)

B. A full time job at A Multi National Company that offers 350k Monthly Gross. (Less job security, tight schedule)

All offers are at hand ✋

I will go for B

He is a youth he will adjust himself, make money and plan with it, if he is the serious type

A will give you hope that you will make it
Meanwhile you are delaying while waiting on hope that nay not even increase your salary to meet up with the economy

MetalJigsaw:
So you would advice your own son to get rid of his own daughter, his only offspring for the sake of a wicked step-mother whom has not even given birth for him?

Honestly you have problem with reading and comprehension

Go back and read that post and this time around

High light where I said get rid of her

illicit:
Nothing and I mean nothing


But if she slap me I will also slap her

😂 Lol

goodman41:
I don't know if it is normal. My wife like to watch porn before we have sex

Well some women does that especially if she needs to be turned on and your presence or your ability to turn her on us weak

She will use the porn to turn her self on then you take it up from there

It also shows that your fore play is very low or even absent

You need to understand how to wet her or turn her on for sexto occur

NotAMan:
This marriage is shaking and life-threatening at the same time.

The last employed job I had was in a private firm which I got affected by downsizing.

Pending when I will land a good job, these days, I do house and property agent. I also do menial jobs sometimes just to eck a living. Sometimes it takes long before I seal a deal. The last money I made was just something above 50k which I handed over 80% of the money to her for family upkeep and other expenses. She's pregnant with our first child and misbehave a lot.

And now her mother is sick and she wants to travel and as I don't have the 30k to give to her, only to come back yesterday and saw my boxers burnt in anger. Over 10 boxers? And she's even telling me this is just to warn me against the future and I'm becoming very afraid of her. If I have the money, would I want her not to travel to see her sick mother when i know health issue is a matter of life and death?

Also, she's teaching in a private school and complaining of the school owing salary.

This woman is making me shed tears and becoming afraid of her at the same time. I have never beaten, talk bad or hurt her in anyway and she shouldn't push me.

Now that she has burnt my boxers, who knows what next? I am even afraid of my life.

What should I do?

Pls if you have half of the money let her go and see her mum

When she comes back you guys can talk about the boxer and let her know that she is becoming toxic

Then keep eyes on her, if she is remores about it, counsel her

Pregnancy can make a woman behave in a naughty way

Cutehector:
Now na baby'm dem dey call us..


The sheepish men will be smiling foolishly.

That's a let name and every one loves to have a pet name

MetalJigsaw:
Bullshit. he should send her away ASAP. who is of more value to him, the stranger or his daughter?

It doesn't work that way, marriage is different from friendship

One have to apply wisdom when it comes to marriages

Blupen969:
When i was jobless i applied for work at 4 different hotels, i waited and waited but none called me for an interview, so i went and learn barbing and that is what i do now after 3months into barbing today i got a call from one of the hotels to come for an interview today by 2pm i don't even know what to do anymore because i quite enjoy the freedom that comes with barbing and my peace of mind but money the hotel work pass
so what should i do nairalanders? should i leave my barbing work for a hotel job?

Go for the interview

Pray and get the job, then adjust yourself by getting some one of your apprentise to run your shop for you while you monitor the progress when you come back from work

You need to work as you will not remain a barber forever

JackDaAlienz:
I had an injury during football match last week. I hit my hips on the bar while defefending a shot.

My right hip is in pains, I have taken injections and done x Ray they said everything is fine.

But last nightz when my girl wanted to give me BJ to release the stressful.
To my utmost dissapoinment my manhood refused to rise up.
As in she tried everything possible
Still my manhood no gree rise

This morning I decided to try again, I watch porn but still nothing rise.
I'm getting very scared that I injured something in my hips that has affected my sexual organs. .

Please Doctors what could be the cause of this issue. Please I'm getting very scared. It dosent even move or rise at all since after the football accident

Please help me

You could be having one of the sude effect of the drugs your ate Taking to treat yourself

AyamGod23:
who told you i haven't approached, i didn't just approached i chatted and after all and got a "no" so im searching online now.

Dont listen to anyone

Just listen to yourself and follow your mind

AyamGod23:
bros i have nothing to lose, I have not dated before so i want to experience it, good or bad anyhow it turns out it is well.

Just follow your mind, every relationship leaves one with an experience which will lead you to a better relationship

Its a game of no looser no winner

Its supposed to be a win win experience

Even the married ones are still getting experience daily

So go on and try your luck

Life it's self is a risk

Anndju:
What's stopping u from approaching a lady? Na fear of rejection? Just walk up to her..what could possibly go wrong than no...and then u approach another u get ba....

Some men are not as crazy as you guys

Some were brought up in a discipline way and it makes them feel shy when it comes to opposite sex communication, probably because they were not in the street to experience what you did

I was glad reading his request and am happy a lady is responding

That's how it works for others

Ihateheadslamer:
This one punna don dey scratch you

You wan know his location

Honestly you are not a kid
Learn to be matured when it involve other people's private issues

Your are not them and you can't be in them to know how they feel about their own issues

Just respect yourself

Joyrider404:
Where do you reside

I love your courage, ride on but be very sure it's real

AyamGod23:
please don't mind him, can i pm you

I admire your way if you are real and genuine

Testiebobo:
GOLD DIGGERS are everywhere may God save our ladies. My elder sister is planning to marry a man who is very indolent and jobless. However, I noticed that my sister was the one doing the man's job. They would go for shopping and outing and it is my sister that will pay for all the bills. It has even come to d extence that my sister pays for his house rent. This is ridiculous, and i have to save my sister from getting married to that GOLD DIGGER b4 it is too late. What can i do?

I think you will have to discuss with your sister the observations you have made and also inform your family of tbe danger ahead

But bear the following in mind

If your sister is desperate for marriage, she may not listen to you

If she is madly in love maybe the guys understands how to make her happy in the inner room, she will not listen to you

If the guy has sweet mouth and have succeded in getting your sister attention, she will not listen to you

If that's the case, just advice her and leave her to decide

Before she will claim that you spoilt her marriage plans

Realistt:
My wife left our home for the past 1 week to her parents house. She told me she just wanna pay them a visit unknown that she has another plan. I called to ask why she is taking long than expected in her parents but she didn't give a valid reason for staying. What is surprising to me is that her parents who gave her out during marriage condole her persistent staying with them for over one week. This is the 3rd time such is happening and her parents sees nothing wrong with their married daughter spending close to 2 weeks with them without finding out what is wrong from me. My wife's parents BIASED attitude is one of the major reason why I stopped talking to them because they have this habit of believing and accepting everything their daughter says without asking my own side of the issue. Interestingly, My wife is fighting me that I am not close to her parents! Abeg, how on earth will a person be close to parents who are notorious for taking SIDE and always supporting their daughter at any given occasion?. In summary, I told my wife today to come home to pack her stuff back to her parents house since she has been staying with them for close to 2 weeks without given any valid reason. In her response, she said she will will be home next week to pack her luggages and I told her never to come back if she attempts to move her stuff to her parents house. Plz note that our marriage is less than 2 years and we have a SON together. Abeg, ya all should let me know if I have done wrong ignoring her EXTREMELY BIASED PARENTS by not calling them and also telling my wife to come pack her stuff back to her parents house since she left me at home to reside with them?
PS: We had no quarrel before she left the house. She took her drama to the next level LESS THAN A MONTH THAT SHE GOT A JOB.

You said you guys have no quarrel before, so what really made her to bear such plans of packing out since and decided to hatch it now that she got a job

I can see that you are not even in close talk with your in laws, that means there is a cold war among you guys, your wife and your in law

See let me bring this to your notice

Women can hurt you and still report the story to her parents that you are the one that is hurting her
Now her parents will start feeling bad about it not knowing that you can't even breath in your marriage
And untill you speak out, the whole fault will be on you

I want you to calm down and cool your temper so that it will not lead to I don't care marriage after all

Both of you are going through what young couples in marriage goes through, because you're yet to understand your selves, couple with economic situation

There are some issues that are unattended to in you guys marriage and those issues are the cause of all this problems

While you snob those issues without looking into it
She is pilling those issues up to fight you in a cold war

So I will suggest you drop your anger

Take a visit to your in law's house, when you get there tell them you came to collect your family back home

Then if there are issues, they will bring it up and you too will speak out if you know that you are not at fault

Speak out to redeem your image which she has damaged in your in law's house and after that, tell them that on no condition will she come to them without your consent or permission, stop at that point ask her to follow you home

Now at this point all of you will settle whatever the problem is

But if her parents doesn't want to listen to you, maintain your ground that you are going with your family

If they refuse or she refuses to follow you
Just walk away home

If they later invite you for settlement, tell them you are busy and they will be the one begging you

But if you are at fault, then when you get there talk peace and carry your family home

If you really feel that you can't look for your family, then that means you lack the ability to manage your home affairs in the marriage and it also means that you no send any body

Meaning you are ready for nonsense

Look there are no sweet marriages

Every married couple are in one situation or another

In the aspect of not being close with her parents, well that's her own way of reasoning, just respect her parents even if you don't call them often of which am sure is part of the issues

Kanixt:
"I recently snooped in my wife’s phone and discovered dozens of texts to her co-workers and some of our mutual friends — all saying awful things about me and airing petty grievances from our personal life. Among the topics of the texts was my unemployment. I recently gave up my nearly 10-year successful career in real estate to move to a new city and state so our daughter can go to a better school. I haven’t figured out my next move yet, but I’ve been actively applying and interviewing for jobs. I’ve received multiple offers, but none have been the right fit. My wife’s texts portray me as a deadbeat loser, and she questions why she’s stayed with me, lamenting what a burden it has been for her. I’ll note that our mortgage and our mutual bills have been paid for the last six months from the proceeds of selling our house when we moved, so my unemployment has caused her zero financial burden. I can’t get past the things she said and the betrayal I feel, and I am considering asking for a separation. But I am scared to bring it up because of the invasion of her privacy that led to me discovering the text messages. What is the ethical path forward?"

I don't think separation is what you need now

Just find your bearing while she keeps talk silly things

One day you will get yourself to the level that she will shut up her tales

Then you take full charge

Money corrects nonsense

greatopec:
Good day Nairalanders
I will be 40 on Oct 19 this year and I am scared the kind of life I have always desired may not be
achievable. Let me list these things that worries me so that you can probably advise me or assist me in achieving any of them.
1) By 40 I had wished I will be living in my house with cars in my garage
Current situation- I am a salary earner who eagerly waits for the salary to drop before my family can eat conveniently every month.
2)I love cars and driving. Was thinking of getting a good car for Uber business.
Current situation- I have not been able to gather enough money to buy a car for Uber or personal use.
3)Seeking greener pasture abroad.
Current situation- I have not been able to have enough disposable income to even get a passport to start with in the first place.
4)Self development. I had interest in programming so I decided to learn coding and all that. I started with free code camp and also this thread by iyenimofe on nairaland has been so helpful https://www.nairaland.com/1383359/learn-web-design-live-nairaland/6#17571611
The issue I have progressing is that of enough data subscription to watch more tutorials.
5)Acquisition of at least Masters.
I have a passion for learning and self development but I struggled to have my HND with distinction. Gathering enough funds to start my masters program has been an uphill task.

Little about my background
I am an HND graduate
I have a sister who am responsible for also.
I have a wife and two kids.
I work 8-5weekdays

The only problem you have is financial problems

Nothing limits one's plan like lack of finance

You will still achieve them if God opens your financial break through

PulaPower:
So long it’s a Nigeria number, it will scan if real or fake and it will detect..

Wherever you coming from or going to isn’t significant..

Not really, just for vehicles registered with Lagos state license office

You dont expect a vehicle registered with Anambra state government to appear in Lagos state data

Unless the owner renewed his motor license in Lagos