Matrix137: Dear Nairalanders, so I was born in Nigeria and have lived all my life in this country till this moment ( I'm 22 now). However, my aunt based in United States has offered to bring me to the country. Processing my documents already.
However I'm scared I may put me or her family in trouble when I get there cos America is a civilized country and I'm used to the crude ways and behaviors here which is already part of me and will likely replicate them in America which will surely put me in trouble with the law.
Behaviors like urination on the streets, throwing garbage on the road and many uncivilized behaviors too numerous to mention. So please how do I Behave myself over there. Thanks for reading.
Its up to you to behave decently or behave in an unruly manner
Start now to adjust so that you can adopt to your new life style when you get there
They don't tolerate nonsense there and especially abuses on women
UyaiIncomparabl: What’s with women and this “Saviour mentality”? It’s very hard to drop smoking or drinking habits let alone sodomy. Do you think these guys care about who you report to?
Am optimistic that he will change, you don't underestimate the power of God and prayers
Fineman2: My name is John. I am 35 years old. I lost my first wife in 2020, so I remarried in 2021 so that my daughter can grow up with a motherly love. However, my new wife has made it a point of duty to always maltreat my daughter. Each time, I want to interfere, she tells me to stay out of it. I know I should stand up for my daughter but I am in love with this woman because she came into my life when I needed someone the most. I reached out to the family of my late wife last month to allow my daughter to stay with them while I send money for her upkeep, but they refused. They said my daughter cannot grow up without a mother and still grow up without the presence of a father in her life. I have had several conversations with my wife and I have begged her to accommodate my daughter since she is yet to conceive but she told me to get rid of her from the house. She practically complains about everything my daughter does. I am unhappy about this but at the moment, I am caught in between the woman I love and my beloved daughter.
Please what should I do?
Sorry about being in a tight corner
If your daughter is if secondary school age, make plans to put her in a boarding school
Plan B Take her to your parents if they will accept her and let bee be rqisedyby your mum and make sure you do the needful
Plan C Take her to any of your sister who can accommodate her and start living with her Also be ready to do the needful to avoid insults and disrespect
Lastly, your wife, hmmm How are you sure that woman came for good How can someone snow ball into your life when you needed a woman, so what happened now that you needed her motherly care for that child or was she not aware you had a child
Was that child not supposed to be her own daughter to be loved and cared by her
Its obvious she doesn't want her in that house and she is not hiding it So relocate her to a safer place and let it be just two of you alone
Before she will blame her for not being pregnant of her own child
Even if she is the one providing for the family, you are about loosing your authority at home
whyteteeth: It's draining dealing with my mom everytime she comes to the city to stay in the same house with me. I live in my elder sister's house but she (my sister) stays abroad with her family. I am the last child and I am not married. I work from home though. My mum visits here once in a while. Anytime she comes around she does a lot of things that spoils my mood. For instance, she doesn't like taking her children's advice no matter how important it is to them. She likes having her way all the time. And when we try to stop her, she guilt trips us and emotionally blackmails us.
I have other siblings who do not live with me but they used to come around with their children anytime mom is around. My father is back home and hardly visits. She doesn't listen to my dad if he advices her.
Mom will first and foremost get someone upset, and when the person complains, she will watch out for one negative word that will slip out from your mouth and use it to emotionally blackmail you. She will cry because of what you said to her until you feel guilty and beg her to forgive you. She also likes reporting her child to another of her child without minding if it would damage their relationship.
She likes making her child feel bad so long as she has her way and she is happy. She pays no attention to the feelings of her children anytime she wants anything. For instance, My mom can make you spend money on something that she already has. Sometimes she will drag for something that she doesn't even need. She feels as a mother all her children must make her happy else they don't like her.
Also, She is terrible with conversations both on phone and physically. If you try to have a one on one talk with her, she will make the conversation very unpleasant because she will keep interrupting, next thing she will cry or she will get up and leave you.
She never sees her fault. Even if she apologies, she would do the same thing again and blame you for making her do it.
If she comes around and everywhere is peaceful, after a short while argument will begin which may lead to a fight.
This is because she likes jamming one person with another person and eventually make them quarel. She enjoys adding words that was never in the conversation when she is reporting somebody to another perosn. Most times those words are very hurting and will lead to a fight. And when the fight begins, she will start crying. Sometimes she would intentionally fall on the ground while trying to separate a fight, just to make sure everybody runs helter-skelter trying to get her up on her feet.
She has blood pressure issues, hence she uses that as a weapon to guilt-trip her children so they can succumb to her demands. For instance, if she says things that are not true about her child to another of her child and the person finds out, once you confront her, she would say " don't query me oh, shey you know my blood pressure would soon go up. I didn't kill my mother, don't kill me oh." Or she will just start crying and say the person hates her and what was said isn't true, and that she never said anything like that. She denies the things she says that are bad soon after she says them.
Gosh, I am just tired of my mom. I feel like packing out of this house, blocking her and not letting her come close to me because of how emotionally draining it is everytime she comes around.
Lol, Your mum is the real drama queen, honestly
I praise your dad for being able to cope with her all these periods
Now back to her attitude among the whole members of the family
If you all sees her just the way you saw her, read her attitude and understand her, then she can't be using you guys head
I swear she will never trip you guys off
If what she does to you is what she does to others, then you guys should understand that she is a real drama
If you pack out and get another place to live, she must come and if you refuses her coming, she will tell the whole world that you don't want her to come and visit you and that the her BP is now beyond control, then every one will blame you
So I think you just have to manage that her attitude just the same way your dad has wore it as a cloth
That's the power of being patient with crazy people
Marvellsmart: I just found out last night that my husbandto be is gay. Like he is into men. I stumbled upon his phone yesterday night and saw his chats with his best friend, the supposed best friend that returned from South Africa because of our wedding next week.
We have planned our wedding next Saturday, everything is set. We have dated for four years and never for once did I suspect that he was into men.
In the chat, he was professing love to his best friend. Telling him how he has missed him and his pen!s.
How he had enjoyed last night with him, I even saw my fiance nπdes in their Whatsapp.
I am losing it, please help me. I went to his house for the weekend, on Saturday, he had left me and returned late at night without knowing he was going to have s.ex with his best friend. I just left the house this morning without him knowing cause he is a banker and he leaves home early. I left his door open, packed all my properties and haven't talked to him
He has been calling me since but I am not taking his calls. I couldn't concentrate at work today.
What should I do?
Please help me love this man so much, he has been a blessing, and I am pregnant for him, but then, why this??
Should I cancel the wedding? Should I confront him? I'm confused I want to run mad.
No need to cancel the wedding as you are already pregnant and you love him
Seat him down and let him know that you are aware of his dirty life
Counsel him and draw him close God
Gradually he will come out of its especially if it's just one gay partner
Obavoh: My wife’s elder sister’s kids came to spend the holiday at my house.
The 2 boys are 9 and 7 years old. All they do all day is eat, play and watch tv.
I hate idleness so I suggested to my wife that we should send them to hawk fruits. We have a lot of fruit trees in my compound which are wasting away on the trees.
My wife refused and said they are too small. I told her I began hawking for my mum when I clocked 6 years and I expect my children to do the same. This caused a big quarrel between us.
My village is safe, the boys even go as far as the next village to play ball so I don’t know what is bad if they use their playing time to trade.
Hawking made me the smart, hardworking and responsible man I am today. All my life I have never begged or borrowed. I believe as long as one is not disabled or sick, you can easily make money. I want to teach my children this but my wife thinks differently.
Tell me why you want your children to suffer before they make it
What makes you think those your sisters children will be smart to hawk
Are you comparing your time to this present generation
Or you just like to deal with people all in the name for them to struggle
Well, you are not expected to do so to any child, so just respect yourself to avoid problems
You can put them in school if you can afford their education or send them back to their parents
SpaceXR: Good evening everyone. Trust your day was great. Please I need advice or suggestions. Got my brothers two daughters living with me and my wife. They are gonna stay awhile. We are living a very private life here. We don't go outside gate. After work, me and my wife stays in. This kids got to play a lot when they were with my brother but that not happening here. Like right now, after dinner, they are just sitting down folding their hands, just sitting, doing nothing. So I'm thinking of what I can get for them to play with till they goes to bed. Please someone should suggest for me. Can't watch them just sitting for three hours, just sitting because we eat our dinner by 6:30, goes to bed by 9:30. Thanks everyone.
You can get an iPad with home internet connection for them to browse about educational things
They can link up on U-lesson for online teaching
You can subscribe on pay TV for them to watch stations if there is steady light
You can get bicycle for them to drive round the compound if there is space
When you register them for schooling, let them join lessons in school that will carry them till 5pm when you guys will be back home
By the time they get home had their dinner, the next thing is sleeping straight to bed
Please for someone with a budget of 4m which of this cars would you advice one to buy. Note the car is one that should be able to serve for atleast 4years.
Belgium 2010 Pontiac Vibe Belgium 2011 Hyundai Sonata Belgium 2010 Hyundai Santafe Nigerian used Honda Crv which I know there will be change at the end of the day.
Please help with reliability and maintenance of this vehicles..
Please note I don't want anything outside this vehicles I mentioned...
Thanks for your contribution
You can try foreign used Honda CRV for peace of mind
Karen2024: Seriously speaking, I will accept to marry any man who will take care of the kids while I hustle to feed the family. He will be a full-time husband while I work. I will still play my role as the house wife and let him dominate me.
[quote author= post=122742738]Dear Romancelanders, Please advice this young lady below...
"I lost my husband last year, finally found a man to marry but wants my children to bare his name instead of my late husband
Am so happy, at last i finally found someone who accepts I and my children, he is richer and provides I and my kids every need and also shows me so much love even more than my late husband did, the truth is, I feel more comfortable with this man. He even open up a supermarket for me..
He asked to marry me in which I have accepted, the problem now is, am disturbed on the fact that he has asked to marry me on the condition that we remove my late husband's name from my children's names and replace it with his own name..
I have tried talking to him to wait so that, I consult my people first because my late husband had fully paid my dowry. But, he insist we shouldn't inform them and that he has people in the government who can quickly switch the names without any delays or complications. Actually, I don't know what else to do because am afraid to loose him. I'm a 33year-old woman with 3kids. Age 4 a girl and 2year-old twin boys. I fear i might not find another man to marry me. I'm still a young woman whom also deserves a sweet love life. I also see that, changing the names is of no big deal since we are getting married to make one big family.
Pls kindly advice me on this. She wrote.. From ChiChi's Blo....[/quote]If he is actually a good man with a good intentions for you and your children,
Then he should do the proper thing by getting married to you accordingly and there after, inform your family about his intension over those children surname
Your family will refer him to your late husband family
If your late husband family gives him the authority to go on and change their surname, he will take it up with the ministry of women and children affairs where the process of adoption will start, both families will be involve and documents will be signed by government and lawyer to seal the adoption process
The essence of the above is because of any nonsense
But you are scared of loosing him instead of protecting your children
You alone doesn't have the right to authorize him to go ahead Those children belongs to another man's family by tradition and customs
Alternatively have a child for him if you think he desires a child
But pls be very careful with him because I doubt his intensions especially where he said you should not inform any one of your family about the change of surname
IyaebeTheGreat: My Dad's friend and his family are in a mess now as the second wife (now ex) sued him over willing more than 90% of his properties and other valuable possessions to his first and second daughter.
It started long ago when he got married to his first wife(now ex) who had two daughters for him, they were childhood lovers and they lived perfectly.
However trouble started when he got a job in portharcourt and he met this other woman who came for IT , he discovered this woman is from our home town and he got more attracted and decided to keep her as a mistress, but the woman wanted more.
So, the affairs started over there and she was practically living with him while the wife stayed back home. Soon information started reaching his wife about this other woman but the wife always discard such information saying her husband isn't such type of person.
When the same information keeps reaching her, she decided to pay him an impromptu visit and boom she met this other woman there already acting as a wife, she confronted the husband and he told her he intends marrying her as his wife, she got angry and left back to base(home town).
When this other woman came home, she informed this man that she was beaten up by his wife's mother and siblings when she was passing by their house ( it was all lies) and the husband came home and arrested his wife (her 1yr old baby was in the cell with her as well), her mother and all her siblings and further went ahead to marry the other woman.
It was so messy that divorce was the only option they had left, he also forcefully took her two daughters from her and they were now under the care of the new wife. That was how the other woman became his wife and had three children for him( a boy and two girls).
After several years, the children are all grown, he gave them the best training and he endured so much bad behavior from this second wife to save face not until he caught her with charms inside a sack of garri that was sent to her by her mother and that was the last action that led to their separation. He married another woman making it the third one.
The third woman came and couldn't conceive because the second woman made a vow that as long as she remained married to her husband, she'll never bear children. Till today the third woman never had any child but she remained in her marriage childless.
Now, this man has come of age and decided to have a will on all his properties and other possessions. Surprisingly he willed over 90% of his properties and all other possessions to his first two daughters from his first wife leaving his only son from the second wife with only a landed property.
The second wife got hint of this and vow to deal with him by all means. She has sued him to court and involved his kinsmen but this man insists that that's the only compensation he can give to the first wife who never offended him in any way and maintained that he's not going back on his decision.
As at now family and friends are on his neck to have a change of decision considering the fact that his only son is very responsible and does not portray any form of threat or irresponsibility but he's obviously not listening and maintained that nothing can make him change his decision.
Please is he right with such drastic decision?
Is there sense in willing almost all you posses to a female child who will take such inheritance to another family?
How best will you handle such type of situation?
You guys forgot that the first wife was his success story until the second wife snatched him from her
The second wife lied against the first wife and he married her forgetting that karma has more memories than we humans
So he has decided to compensate the first wife through her children, he has done that favor for the first wife but on her children's name
So let it be, he has decided it the way he wants and nothing can make him change
In another words the first wife git her own share from what she laboured with him
saweide: Good afternoon romancelanders . My name is segun am 39 years old in relationship with a 34 year old lady living far from me in another state in South West here She is a single mother of 2 and she is a widow ,she lost her husband 4 years ago and am a single father of two as well so I met her on Facebook and she told me all about her and we both accepted to date each other since I met this lady she has been so caring and romantic and all that but what is giving me concern is that there is this her particular neighbour leaving In her flat in the Same compound. The neignor is a married man with 2 kids and living with his wife but he live upstairs while she stay downstairs so whenever I visited this lady and the neighbour Is around she will shut me up and tell me to be talking silently and moreso if i want to make calls at times and am talking she will run to where I am and cover my mouth with her hand that she don't want her neighbour to hear me that she does not want them to know that she harbour a man in the house . I felt so worried and concerned so one day I sat her down and ask her if there is something BTW her and the man she said no that even the man is a pastor that she just don't want then to see her with any man now and I ask her why she said if I Bleep up later that to bring another man again to the house will be a shame for her and that is the only reason but I find it hard to believe and it kept me wondering. Because sometimes ladies might be funny and what amazed me most is that the people beside her shop around that area already knows me with her as her fiancee but just this only one neighbour she is hiding me from and this last weekend I went there ,we both hold our hands and strolling out on the street when she sighted her neighbour car coming towards us she immediately drop my hand left me and run to hide beside a tree .I was like what's the meaning of all these that are they the one feeding you..she said no that she just don't want them to see her with any man for now and she have vowed to me that there is no relationship BTW her .am tired and am suspecting something funny but I need advice should I stop this relationship for now till I found out or I should continue am so tired and disgusted about this attitude please give me good advise and no insult plsss
At times women don't like publicity especially if she is not sure where the relationship is heading to
You may be the first man she is bringing into that house since the death of her husband and she may be shy about it
I think you may stop going and you guys can meet in your house or a guest house pending when you are satisfied with the relationship and do proper marriage introduction to her family then she will announce to her neighbors that you guys are getting married soon
dboY1123: I lost my brother early last month and I have been unsettled and paranoid. He visited us a day before and he was healthy and hearty only for us to hear of his death the next day which was on Sunday. He was admitted in the Hospital, on the bases that he was short of blood. He took 4/5 pants of blood and stayed 1/2 weeks before he was discharged and that only made him live for a month or so. I want to know more about his death, exactly what happened. His wife is someone who didn't relate well with us(in laws) and she distanced my brother from us, while he objectively did as well. This wife didn't visit my mum throughout her stay in the hospital for more than 3 months before my mum passed on a year ago. When I visited the hospital where my brother was rushed to being the same place he was admitted, they told me that he must have been bothered about somethings, and that the drugs he was given parts were hypertensive, that he stopped taking the drugs and all those excuses. I was informed by the nurses that my brother has been suffering from insomnia, he hardly sleeps in nights and if he does, it's just few hours. All these things, the wife didn't tell us anything. Now, I want to take the fight to her. I need her to tell me exactly what transpired, how did it happen! She's been in 40days mandatory sit-at-home stuff and I can't wait to sit her ass down and interrogate her. Should I get her arrested for questioning by the police? Modified
This is a sensitive issue
First of all, you have to conduct an autopsy to be sure of what killed him, do you have the money
Secondly, the lack of relationship that exists between her and your family, irrespective of who's fault it is, is part of what lead to your brother's death
I think the best you can do on the presence of the rest members of the family is to let her know that she distance your brother from the rest of his family and other things you can mention are part of what traumatized your brother to death. In this case, you won't be the only one talking have a meeting with other members of your family and you guys will speak with one voice, lead by the most senior of the family.
At least she will know that you guys have an idea of what went on before his death
Its now left with you people to relate with her or not after his burial
Family matters are very sensitive because as a case like this, your brother never said any she did to him, probably he was enduring the pains till death
So judging her will be difficult as the other party is not there to defend or prove any allegations
Who knows if your brother was the problem she had Who knows what your brother passed through in her hand, with secret tears in the marriage
EriMma1: Where's fouani? Never heard or come it before. Will ask around though. And yeah, anything within that 250k range will be fine so I can pick a good Air fryer along with it.
Thanks .
Google fouani They are the white people that ows company that produces and imports and sells original LG products by themselves
Biglol008: Good afternoon nairalanders pls I need your advice I’m married 28 years no children yet . Newly wedded I have a problem I don’t last long on bed , I cum very quickly and it takes a long time like 4 hours for me to get another erection and most times it’s not very hard like my first erection . I was told the nitric oxide in my body is be low . Pls I need help , how do I boost my nitric oxide in my body or if there any supplements let me buy . I’m afraid if I don’t do anything now my wife might eventually cheat in the future . What can I do to remedy my situation. Pls no talk of hospital health wise I’m very okay . No diabetics or anything no infection pls help me so I can save my marriage and my myself
You know about the issue you have and you didn't work on it till you now need to work on it now that you are married
Get your wife involve so that she will give you the needed support to achieve your efforts in bed
Do more of romance to delay your own system
Check the strength of your sperm count if it's ok too
But you still need to do some comprehensive test if you know that you are ready to find solutions
Earthstorms: Please don't come and kill yourself, just do the much you can do and leave the rest.
It is not supposed to be competition and it is not supposed to last for hours.
Baby harder harder has sent many men to the grave after dying in active service.
Let me give you one advice, in the bedroom once you cum, even if it is after 10 seconds of service just turn and face up, let your wife come on top and hustle for her cum. If she succeed fine, if she does not succeed, then she can try another day.
So when he cums, his wife will climb on him to ride on a flacid dick or still tugged dick 🙄🙄
Then she will struggle for her own efforts to reach orgasm, but he used her to cum
This your advice go help the woman look for another man wey go complete him work
EriMma1: I just moved into a room and parlor self con and didn't move with some of my old appliances like fridge stab and some other minor gadgets.
Please I need a good recommendation on the best fridge for my kitchen. Someone suggested the silver fridge, that it's the rave out there but Im kinda skeptical as I don't know how strong and durable it is. I'm not after what's raving. Just want something strong I can use for a very long time. Business in view with it also because my co tenants are big happening guys that entertain visitors and buy drinks a lot.
Anyone here using it or has an idea of a very good one they can recommend?
Budget is 400k something good. Please.
Just walk into any fouani stores near you and pick a freezer base on your budget, you will get a quality freezer and you will still save upto 150k left with you
If you buy anything from their stores, you have bought peace of mind for the next 10/20yrs
I am talking from experience because I shop from them and I will do so again and again
This girl and I have been dating for approximately a year. We were staying apart untill early this year, she left her family friend's house where she was staying and decided to come over to live with me. Her parents don't live within the same state with us but they seem to be in support of our staying together though she did not inform then about the decision until after she had left them to live with me. We have been living fine, until she lost her job. She is semi educated (secondarian) and in her early 20's. I'm 27. Working and studying. I don't earn that much enough to take care of the both of us. Now she's out of job. Being a secondarian there are only a few opportunities for her working as an employee. I have a list of jobs I do not want for her which include, working as a sales girl, Pos agent, waitress and teacher. I told her to think of what she would like to do outside the list. Seems that was the first time she would subject her brain to such thinking process. It wasn't easy. I insisted she keeps thinking and she did. She later came up with an idea and it was to work as a cleaner. The reason being that she is experienced in it, Lowkey cleaner she said which am certainly not in support of expect if we can start a company of cleaning business where we would employ people and lease to target customers. I haven't told her my opinion about it yet. I really don't want her to work under someone because she certainly wouldn't earn a good pay considering her educational qualifications. I would have enrolled her for a skill acquisition program but am not financially buoyant enough yet. She seems to love me alot and I don't want to take that for granted.
Please suggest a low capital business or give an advise that can make things better.
The most important thing I think you should do is to know where her parents are living and let them know that she is under your roof, that's some one daughter and you have to account of here where about incase the need arises
Being your girlfriend, she can become pregnant any careless time and you actually know what goes with that
Now back to your question, a cleaner has no job challenge, so considering her age, I don't think she should go for that
Assuming is possible for you, let her learn tailoring, it's a skill that will benefit her
Makakween: My dad family were just making promises upon promises after his demise, nothing came forth leaving us to fend for ourselves,I never got the privilege of learning a trade cos of momsy health while my momsy side only wanted us to work for them telling us we would never be greater than their kids and enslaving us theirs was worse. I have siblings but they are still struggling as well,and the others are my junior...My dad's cash was collected by his family leaving us with nothing to hold onto, it's just God oh.
What a pathetic situation No wonder they hurriedly made an arrangy marriage
Car Talk › Re: Lagos State Number-Plate Recognition Camera Caught Man Driving With Expired Pape by frozen70(f): 3:40am On Apr 29, 2023
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