₦airaland Forum

riverbird:
But the truth is that am not even read for the settling down cos as a man there are alot things that needs to be taking care of before thinking about settling down .

You can discuss it with her so that she will know that you are not ready and can't wait for you

So that tomorrow she will not say that you delayed her

Kingsley123456:
I will go straight to the point.....

I've not dated a faithful lady since I started dating and I've dated up to 6 different ladies aside from Shop and clean mouth).
My girlfriend which I thought I will at least manage to settle down with was cooking for me 2days ago and I took her phone went straight to WhatsApp and telegram to see chats, one was wooing her and she's responding normally, no iota of restrain in the chats and another was inviting her over and she said, sure, she will come, I dropped the phone immediately , I was still thinking of where to start with her when I received a call from work and I had to leave, I message her while I was at work and asked her while she's doing all these to me, as usual she claimed they are platonic friends and nothing more, I blocked her immediately she mention there is nothing wrong in visiting Platonic friends in open places and even at home....this is isn't the type of woman i want, ,that wasn't her first time but she always accuse me of not wanting her to have good male friends.....I'm tired of things like these, I will be 35 by September, initially I thought I'm getting older and I should settle down, but, will I ever meet a Woman of my choice?? Someone I can at least trust?? someone who won't be going round visiting Platonic friends, ano wan loseguard, I need a woman in my life but I think I'm giving up......I don't want to die young...
Lastly Nairalanders

Do I have to look for another relationship again or
Take her back and give her last chance?? Or,
concentrate on money making for another 5yr And forget about getting married,
Pls advice.

You see, these days, you may not likely get what you want from what we have out there

But I think you can seat her down and talk sense to her that you don't want her to keep make friends
Platonic or not

Once a woman is in a relationship and sees nothing in having male friends whom she claims are platonic

Such a woman may not be faithful and commited to your relationship with her

They will always believe that if you drop them, there is another guy waiting in queue

But that one that is totally committed with your relationship, won't even involve herself with any chat with another guy because she wants to focus on the guy she already have and her phone is always accessible

You will even see that she is prepared to settle down in her attitude

Oyerinde16:
This guy, (Guy A) did a lavished traditional marriage (wedding) paid bride price and other traditional rights... The community told him that was it for them and he can go with his wife, they also told him if he wanted to do white wedding or any other wedding, he could always invited them...

Guy A took his wife and went on with life, things became hard for him and his family and wife packs out...

Wife meets Guy B and refused to disclose she was once traditionally married, Guy B did Court wedding on the insistence of the lady...
Lady now Wife vehemently refused taking Guy B home for traditional, with the help of sisters and friends, they pulled through the court wedding...
Wife has not given any issues to both guys...

Guy A arrest Guy B with police few months later for taking his Wife... On investigations, the who issue was unraveled...

Even at police station, some police said Guy A is the husband since he paid the bride price... Some others say in the eyes of the law, Guy B is the husband...

Who owns the Wife kindly state clearly with valid points...

Every marriage starts from tradition where the family will give you the consent to start marriage preparation and finally hand over the wife to her husband with the witness of other family members, that's just what Mr A did

Then because Mr B was not using his head properly, the manipulated him and got her wedded in the registry, who then give him the approval to marry his daughter,
Nobody because he evaded that part

So Mr B, was just a snatcher and Mr A is the rightful husband who is recognized by the girl's family

riverbird:
E be like say na only me get gf wey hardly ask me of any financial favors but keeps disturbing me with marriage talks

In her own case, she wants to settle down which is more important to her and you

Than asking you for money yet no plans for the relationship and no focus on it

iInjureHerYansh:
Told this girl I have been seeing lately to stop asking me for money if she really care about me and I haven't heard from her since then Where are the people that say women can date if money isn't involved?
Well not all women are after money but majority of our girls are doing this dating thing for survival.

Relationship has to be transactional or she moves. The earlier you realize all the sweet name calling and things she's been doing for you is cos you have money to give her the earlier you will know how to stand.


I always see every lady as someone who doesn't love me for me but for my assets, until she proves otherwise. It has saved me a lot.
This lady I just talked about is another point of reference.

You can also try it with the girl you are seeing now and see for yourself if you doubt me.

There is a great difference between dating a girl and dating a woman

One is inexperience and not really matured to understand that loving a man is different from making him her 🏧, she doesn't want to understand that you struggle to make money and you are not expected to spend it anyhow

The other is very matured and understanding
Knows that loving a man is not making him her 🏧 but loving him for who he is
She equally struggles to get or make money and depends less on him

Fineman2:
My name is Funsho. I am 35 years old. My husband and I have been married for six years and we have a son together. Two years ago, my job transferred me to Abuja. Since my husband and son are in Lagos, I come home at the end of every month.

My husband was in total support because the transfer came with a better salary and a senior position. I love and trust my husband so much, however I really don't know what he thinks of me. I was able to save up last year, and since we are still in a rented apartment

I sent him the money to get us a landed property so we can start building our home. Since, I trusted him so much, I didn't even ask him for the evidence of payment, he only sent me the pictures. I recently came home as usual and while I was arranging the house, I stumbled on the documents and deeds of agreement for the land. I got the shock of my life when I discovered that it was only my husband's name that was written.

He didn't deem it fit to include my name or simply buy it in our son’s name, he bought the land in his name with my hard earned money. I couldn't hide my disappointment, so I asked him. In his defence, he said he bought it in his name because he is the man and he didn't think I would read so much meaning to it since we are married. This has given me a lot of sleepless nights and I find it really hard to believe he could do this to me.

Please, is this something I should be worried about or am I just overreacting? Advise me.

Insist that he changed it to detailed your name and his name

If he refuse, then just your son name alone, when you have other children, you change it to bear the children names

I don't like what he did, if he wants a land in his name let him get one and write his name

He should have asked you what name will be there instead this disappointment and embarrassment

promisedwealth:
Good morning Great people and wonderful family, please just like the saying a problem shared it's a problem half solved.

I have been married to my wife for over 6years now we have been through all together we have two kids 4 and a year old .

my business since late 2021 has been rough I lost some money trying out a different business I'm based in the eastern part of the country.

Early last year my mother in law told my wife to come stay with her in Lagos till I can find my self again, they left imo to Lagos on feb. 2022 I have been I contact with them ever since sending money across also it happen that my wife started bringing the idea of myself joining over there in Lagos ( my in law has a little school in Lagos that has been where my wife has been teaching since she left) .

Concerning the relocation I told her it's not easy as I have to look for money to get accommodation, shop to start a business also the money will be much which I can't afford for now during someday last year I told her to come back during one of our discussion she told me she it's not coming to east again I got angry.

I noticed the mother will never allow her leave her school so I kept mute about coming back since I was neither ready yet do we kept on going no issues.

Just this april she changed, hardly pick my call,stop calling me by the pet name she does.

I tried to find out what happened, she told me she wanted a break. I was confused I tried to guess why she came up with that. she needs to seek and know if it's the will of God for our union that's after two kids .

I was lost also I have tried to restore this woman sanity since then till now I have spoken to the mother she it's not saying anything than what ever she decides it's best for her the only once telling me not to worry at the brothers but I'm worried honestly .

I don't want my kids to grow in different homes.

I also tried to make her see this same reason she told me the kids will be fine she's not looking at anything making her decision please I need advise it's my wife under a spell or what.

I don't want to raise ny kids this way please advice please....

I think her mum is behind her guts

You need to visit them all and let them know that you want uoir family back so that you can plan along with her

But if she or your owfe refuses

Just inform your family about their intents

Then start seeing your self as a single parents who have no access to his family

What next
Start planning on how to bounce back to life and when you think you can afford to handle uoir family, you go back to request fir them to come back again

If they refuse this second time, just follow your heart, you can't kill yourself

Savechild23:
Yesterday I cooked rice and stew, this morning I am cooking vegetable soup while she is watching tiktok but she will still eat or chop her normal short bread

Dey play
Time still dey

Bossfash75:
[color=#770077][/color] even if you refuse to be corrupt in Nigeria, you can be assassinated.
JUSTICE FOR ISAH

nlfpmod:
https://saharareporters.com/2023/05/14/efcc-cadet-beaten-death-superior-officers-refusing-engage-corruption-buried-amid-tears

This small young boy was murdered
His sin was that he refused to be corrupt by the corrupt system

Too bad
Rest in Peace

Fineman2:
Are you sure she knows who impregnated her?

Honestly women knows, even if they were two men on the same day
She understands her cycle

Fineman2:
What do you think about this situation that she has found herself in? What would you advice?

Hello Omajuwa. I am a 28-year-old orphan who got married about a year ago. I had to resign my job so as to relocate to Ibadan after our wedding. 5months into our marriage, my husband was laid off his job. His family has since been there for us. Even his best-friend who was not in support of our union before we got married has been helpful.

Since my husband lost his job, he gets angry at the slightest provocation and we fight almost everyday of the week. The fight we had few weeks ago was the most heated we have ever had. He slapped me and said a lot of hurtful things such as calling me bad luck, then locked me outside. I had nowhere to go.

So I called his best-friend to plead with him. It was futile. His friend who is single took me to his home. My tears were uncontrollable. While trying to be supportive, one thing led to another, and we had sex. Since then, we have all been living like that night never happened. My husband never apologized and things are still the same.


However, a few days ago, I found out that I am pregnant. How do I tell my husband who does not have a job that we are about to have a child in our condition? How do I know who the child belongs to between them? Do I get rid of it? Could the pregnancy be a chance at a better life with his friend who is financially bouyant? Is this marriage still worth saving? What do I do? Please help me.

How is she sure the best friend will marry her or keep her as a mistress

Well she should just take the pregnancy to who owns the child

She knows who pregnanted her among the two men

lovediehatelive:
I met this pretty homely girl sometimes ago.

She was reluctant the first time I toasted her and won't want to date me. However, I persisted till she succumbed.

She's everything I want in a lady. She didn't want to visit me when we started dating until one day I promised that I won't touch her.

She visited and was so graceful that I thanked the heavens for sending my soul mate to me.

We discussed a bit and I made her feel comfortable because she was really uneasy.

As promised, I didn't touch her. She felt so free that she rested her head on my chest.

The urge to kiss her became so strong, but I resisted.

What's the use of spoiling things now when she can be mine forever?

She later left and we became really close from then.

I was happy because she's madly beautiful yet so down to earth.

I was thinking she is a virgin but I needed to clarify.

So one day, I used talk to bring talk and stylishly told her a bit about some rough life of my past for her to feel uncomfortable.

She later opened up to me about her first kiss and how the guy went on to have sex with her even though he promised her nothing will happen.

She was 19 years then.

Since then she stopped visiting guys and is no longer in contact with the guy.

She swore that she hasn't kissed or had sex since then.

Now she's 23.

The thing is I really deeply love this girl because she's just exactly what I needed. But I promise myself that I will marry a virgin and nothing else.

My love for this girl is beginning to affect my thinking.

Should I ditch her and keep looking for a virgin?

Or should I continue with her?

I'm planning to see her people this December.

You are not concerned about her attitude but just want a virgin

Ok if you get a virgin and break her virginity then her character is bad as you didn't observe that on time because you were after a virgin

Will you seal back the broken virgin

Anyway forget about virginity or no virgin

Some women can still claim to be a virgin, after using that local white thing to wash her virgin which makes it too tight to penetrate

Now tell me, who is smarter

I think you should go for her and hope she makes a good wife that will give you peace at home, respect and be supportive

That's what a man needs from a woman

Fuckernizer:
So, I've been single for 2 years plus now... I'm not scared of approaching a lady whatsoever.

Anytime i meet a lady i like, i approach her, we get along and vibe so well, but then with time i kinda lose interest in asking them out.

What do you think is wrong with me?

Till you make up your mind to go into love relationship, you may remain this way and it will affect you on the long run

Preciousgirl:
For about a month now, my boss does not talk to me
She doesn't want to see me
And I am worried
Please wgat should I do?

Take someone close to her and go to her

If you pretend that you don't know what you did,
She will explain to you

Dont take her silence for granted

joeargy:
Hi everyone, I will appreciate ur advice...

My son is 2yrs old , when he was born I and my wife named him Charles but my wife's mother and father can't stop calling him Daniel, when ever my son is at their place for holidays or visits, they call him Daniel and all their neighbors and friends now call my son Daniel.

I remembered I told my wife about it and her mother heard and felt bad, he is my son and not theirs, I understand grandparents give their grand children names too, I have a name from my grandparents but they call me by the one my parents gave me...

What do I do house?

I think you don't need to drag this with them because they are not collecting your child from you

Just make sure you register him in school with the name you ans your wife approve of

Once he starts schooling, he will have less visit to them and gradually they will not see him all the time to mix up his names

This is one of the disadvantages of a tribe collecting names to present on the Naming ceremony day of which Daniel was what your parent inlaws write as their own name

Subsequent births just write his or her two names for naming and that will not give room for external name contribution

GboyegaD:
Well I know a few and their end stories are not so encouraging.

Well, some people may be brilliant but just one subject may which not made in the first attempt is enough to delay his admission

So in this case, I will go for it to compliment it

But not being brilliant ans wants a special center, that's where I will not support

Unless just to get the papers and the go for trading or hand work

They are still better than fake certificate

GboyegaD:
Lies from the pit of hell. Except you didn't know a few of such people during your undergraduate days. This is a big part of our societal menace today, we shouldn't allow it continue.

I guess we sometimes mistake such acts as act of love but it is not love in its real sense. Loving will be guiding the child to learn to follow process so that the child can take pride in their success.

That's not true

Bodydiialect57:
Wrong footing, wrong foundation.
Even if he ended up coping well afterwards, the thought that he cheated at his basic level will haunt the person for life, except if the conscience is seared with iron.

I don't think so

That's not cheating is survival of the fittest

cazchi:
I no too send am before, but once I showed interest, she started talking long term. I think she does want it in her head, but doesn't truly understand what it means.
This attitude she has shown me isn't one that shows she's willing to allow a man lead. Merely thinking about it makes me uncomfortable.

That's the reason why I asked those questions

Tekahashi:
oh no, the recipient received the money but the receipt for the transaction is needed for another issue
apologies for addressing you as sir earlier, didn't notice the F in the mker

Ok am, I saw that but felt you didn't actually took notice of it

Well till you get to the bank, then your fears and worries will be handled

But am sure they will have a prove for you to go home with

Tekahashi:
thank you sir and no it's not a false transaction, I already collected the receipt when I did the transfer but I lost it, so I'm told to get a new receipt

What I mean by false transaction is that, the recipient may have received the money yet denies it

cazchi:
In your opinion, is she simply being a religious, virtuous person or an unreasonable, uncompromising woman?

How are you sure this lady in question is prepared for marriage

Are you sure she loves you or you are just the one in the relationship

Her type has her own principles, can you cope with it because she is the type that is not really willing to bend

I think you need more time

Tekahashi:
I apologize for I know this is not the right section for this but I needed quick response because it's urgent

please guys, I need help , I transferred money to someone
directly at the bank, they gave me a receipt which I lost, my
question is that Can I be able to get that receipt again from
the bank if I go to their cc?

The transaction is permanently recorded in the system
So go therw and make your complain and remember the date you made the transaction

You will be sorted out

But make sure that the recipient is not giving you false information because the computer record will prove that the transaction went successful or not

tocin44:
I am planning to start a small poultry behind my house and would appreciate suggestions from people with experience here on the best breeds to go with.

What I'm looking for;

1. Easy to care for and not requiring too much attention.

2. Breed that is resilient.

3. Breed that can possibly produce small amounts of eggs for family consumption.

4. Can be fed with anything, leftovers, basically not requiring spending much on feed, even if I'll have to.

5. Can grow to a reasonable size for consumption (at least bigger than our regular local breeds)

Suggestions please.
Hoping I and others can learn from the experienced nairalanders. Thank you. 🙏 🙂

In my own case, I have a mini poultry at the back yard and I don't regret having them, it's just for family consumptions

I have turkey which I bought from one month, feed them strictly on new hope feed up till five months then start adding maize to their feed

They grow very big and that's what I usually slaughter in December for Christmas and new year celebration

Then I have Noiler which I cross with native and I like the outcome of the chicks they hatch

officialwdhtv:
Man brings home his 11yr old secret son to his wife of 13yrs.

She couldnt believe her eyes. Take a listen!!!

📺👇
https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsCwoikgrs4/?igshid=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEquOceQfWA

Meaning that he got married to his wife and just two years of marriage he has another woman who had a baby for him outside his legitimate marriage
🙄🙄🙄
Let me just be silent

victory36:
Pls, help me, I don't know what to do . I have been failing all my courses in University despite the fact that I put in all the efforts and do my best. Now I am even too scared to write my exams and have missed several papers . I have tried telling my parents that I am frustrated and want to drop out but they don't seem to understand and are threatening to disown me. I feel so useless, hopeless and I am even thinking about killing myself since I am a disgrace to my family. I don't know who to talk to, pls help.

You are yet to tell us the exact problem with you

Is it that you are not serious with your studies

Or you are tired of reading and schooling

Or you have joined bad gang

Or you don't have any future plans for yourself

Let us know where the problem is so that we can suggest positive ways of dealing with it

Meaning she don't put your family to shame

Fanparker:
My distant brother has been living with us from childhood. His mother died immediately she gave birth to him and his dad has been dead when his wife was pregnant. So he’s just like a son to my mother. He’s dating a girl which I know. The problem here is that the guy always beat the girl to the point of injuring the girl. And the girl family must not know otherwise he’ll be beaten Or arrested .They’re not married yet oo. Anytime he’s broke or they have issues he results to beating the girl. We’ve advised the girl to leave this guy but she’s still with him. When they’ve settled their issue they’ll forget about everything that happened . I don’t know what to do concerning this issue. I’m like a younger brother to him. What can we do in our family to curb this issue of him beating a girl . What of if he’s married, he can’t continue like this .

He will never take any advice from you guys and the girl is not willing to leave him

Just leave both of them untill he finds himself in Prison

Fabulozz:
As titled above. I made the worst mistake in my life impregnating my baby mama for the second time. She and her mother had given me so much trouble in the past. I don't even know what came out of me to start sleeping with her again. Boom she is pregnant and has refused to abort. She want me to pay her brideprice or else she will tell my wife. If only I had control my manhood I would have not found myself in this terrible situation. What should I do now mature advice please?

Dey play

Your are bigger than the trouble you are in

DestinedForGrea:
Thanks.

But I think I'll prefer to let her be (for now at least), so she can heal.

I desperately want to change, not just for her, but for myself.

Ok that's a good idea she need a break

You will change if you are will to drop pride and ego

Then be humble if you can accept that fact

Thirdly go closer to God in your closet and read your Bible if you have
If you don't have buy one that's the first step

Start midnight prayers for it works like magic

RoyalBlu:
It's been over three weeks now I lost my younger sister to death. I'm still finding it really difficult to get myself together.

The pain of losing her so untimely has shaken me to my roots. The tears won't stop coming.

I've been told to try and move on and be strong. But how

Sorry about the loss, just mourn her till the pains fades away

Sirchiboy:
If a man comes to marry you now, how much are you willing to use and support him? Or you think it is the responsibility of a man alone to foot all the wedding bills?
Do you have one kobo to support him with or you're looking for who to borrow money from people just to impress you, your friends and your family members? You better calm down oh. Time dey go! Most men are no longer interested in ỌRỊAKU now. They want someone whose mindset is on multiplying the money the money they met before and after marriage. Except there are unseen forces fighting you or him. If not, you should be a blessing to each other and not office or money spender.

Women have been supporting their husband's during the marriage plans

As for me, i will first listen to his plans after meeting my family

If he has any financial support to my family side, I will find out how much he is bringing and if I can afford to handle my family cooking, I will ask him to leave that for me, while he arrange for drinks and water

At least I want to be sure that he has my side in his plans

But if he doesn't have any plans for my side, I will know that him no send me, i will not ask him but I will start planning till the marriage comes and go

DestinedForGrea:
Yes, you're right.

She loved me, and she endured so much but my toxicity was too much.

I think I've lost her already. I've offered for us to have a conversation, but she seems uninterested. She's been very rude and unresponsive to me lately.

I understand, the damage has been done already. It hurts so much, because she's a good woman. I wish I had known I had this problem before the relationship, I wouldn't have subjected her to this.

I don't like to hurt people, and it kills me that it took too long for me to realize I had hurt her so much.

There's no point in seeing her again. I need to let her be and focus on getting better.

Thank you so much, Frozen.

Well sorry for that loss and learn from that, it will help you prepare yourself very well for another relationship

But I think all she needs from you is to assure her that you are now a changed person, she could give you another chance

Once in a while just drop message to her even if she doesn't respond, still drop

Unless she blocks your contact and that's the final end