₦airaland Forum

naice:
I find myself facing a difficult situation in my marriage and would greatly appreciate your insights and advice. The issue at hand revolves around my wife's unwillingness to listen to me. I'm at a loss as to why she behaves this way, and it's starting to take a toll on our relationship.

To provide some context, my wife has a strong-headed personality, which often leads to conflicts between us. No matter how gently I communicate my concerns or requests, she seems to disregard them and even does the opposite. This behavior frustrates me and leaves me questioning our compatibility.

One possible explanation I've considered is her background as an orphan. She lost her parents at a young age and had to take on the responsibility of caring for herself and her siblings. While I understand the challenges she faced, it seems like her self-reliance has translated into a resistance to accepting input or guidance from others, including me.

At this point, I have contemplated divorce, but there's a significant factor holding me back: our children. I love them deeply and cannot bear the thought of being separated from them. As much as her strong-headedness affects me, I firmly believe that domestic violence is never an option.

I'm reaching out to this community for reasonable opinions and advice on how to navigate this situation. Have any of you experienced a similar dynamic in your relationships? How did you cope with a spouse who doesn't listen? Are there effective strategies to foster better communication and understanding in such circumstances?

Thank you in advance for your support and guidance. Your insights will be invaluable in helping me make an informed decision about the future of my marriage."

Change your mindset.
A strongwilled spouse could be an asset.
Change the way you see her
God didn't create a duplicate of any human
Explore your differences, enjoy your similarities
You are lucky not to have a yes, lazy, aparthetic and passionless partner
Pray her into your ideas
And pray for her to embrace your ideas, without force.

Flame333:
His wife will still help on this one..

He is not the only one, Odili of Rivers go understand but we should all understand that this country has been destroyed by this generation of old men to the tune of no repair..


God save us, I'm tired of this country

Nigeria has hope of repair. Mark my words!

TemplarLandry:

Give it to a man with a fear of God, not the highest bidder. Please and please, give your life to Christ first, anyway. I beg of you. Don't waste it on an undeserving person.

MeNmyfamily:
If you criticize government now, you're tagged "Igbo" or "Ipob"

Critize Tinubu's only-the-masses-will-sacrifice policies or not, his supporters may still pick on you directly or indirectly.

Let's criticize in any way, but let's criticize maturely and constructively.

Prismprecious:
As a Christian, you're never going to get more from life until you learn how to use your faith. I lost my job sometime last year and God took on a journey of faith to depend on him and trust.

At first, I had lots of doubts, fear almost crippled me. But then I resolved in my mind, if God's word is true why not bank on it?

The result? I have lived the best life since them. You too can experience the best of God only if you'll believe and trust the report of the Lord. But how do you have faith? And how can you grow your faith?


Hearing the word.
Romans 10:17 So then faith [comes] by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.

This is where faith begins. The words are seeds and when planted in our hearts begin to germinate. If you need faith, spend time listening and understanding the word. Dig into what the bible says about your current situation. Go to church with the heart of a receiver and the humility to learn.

Do the word.
James 1:22 But don't just listen to God's word. You must do what it says. Otherwise, you are only fooling yourselves.

You'll get no result being just a hearer. Get out and put the word of God into action. The woman with the issue of blood heard about Jesus, but she didn't sit at home expecting a miracle in her lap. For a woman in her condition to step out and walk through the crowd to see Jesus, it was a lot.

Do you need a job? The seed has already been planted by listening to the word. Step out and send the job applications. When I lost my Job, I sent out tons of pitches to companies and organizations. Yes, that's faith! You gotta act and take initiative.

Speak it
Challenges will come your way. The devil is going to tell you you're deceiving yourself. I have a word for you though it tarries, wait for it- Habbakuk 2:3. In Exodus 13, God took the Israelites through a long road why? They needed strength and courage for the journey ahead. God wanted to build them into a strong nation and the easy route won't do.

Likewise sometimes, what you desire is going to take a while. What do you do while waiting? Hold fast to your confession of faith without wavering, for God can be trusted to keep his promise- Hebrews 10:22.

Use this moment to also give thanks to God for his word. His word is the guarantee and through faith, you have what you desire.

Receive and tell it
And when the opportunity manifests, receive it. When the idea comes, receive it. When the miracle comes, receive it. Jesus prepared you and now you have it, Glory to God! When your desire manifests, also use the opportunity to testify.

Your words will encourage and strengthen someone to also trust God for theirs. Your testimony can also win souls into the kingdom. Don't be silent about what God has done for you.


Build on your most holy faith
As long as you remain on Earth, you'll need lots of faith. The world is unpredictable. Every day things are thrown at us, but the one who will survive is he who is built on the Word God.

Never stop listening, never stop using your faith to get bigger things because with God you can achieve the impossible. And never stop praying in the holy ghost to strengthen your faith.

Happy Sunday 🤗😊

Keep it up. I'm really blessed. God bless you real good in return.

ThompsonJoo:
Is it wrong for a Christian to obtain a chieftaincy title?
If yes why?

Were there rituals in the process of making you the chief? Would becoming a chief help you to serve God more. If the answers are yes, then go ahead.

OluwaLina1:
Happy sunday nairalanders.
I moved to a new area(Student area) and decided to attend a nearby church.

These are what I noticed.

-- I was the only one that used scarf.Even the choristers and the female ministers didn't use scarf.

--Almost all the female members are putting on trousers,ladies that put on gowns/skirt are not up to 20%.
I was even surprised that the two female ministers and the female choristers also put on trouser to climb the church alter.

--During prayer intersection,I noticed everybody were praying in tongues and it seems am the only person not filled with the holy spirit to speak in tongues.
Even when we were asked to pray on our offering,people still prayed in tongues.

And it just seems I'm odd among them or is it that am not modernized?

If you feel in your spirit that the place is not where you should worship, please forget every advice, follow your spirit. May God lead you aright in Jesus name.

If you ask me though, I may not worship there, but I can't say 100% if it is okay or not to worship in that kind of church, I must confess to you my dear sincere seeker.


If you are a sincere seeker, may God guide you in Jesus name.

DaddyFreeze2020:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/punchng.com/retirement-windfall-ex-service-chiefs-get-four-bulletproof-suvs-20-domestic-aides-36-soldiers/%3famp

It's a gross understatement to call these severance/retirement benefits a waste. It's simply indescribable!

taylor89:
Even if I’m a billionaire I’ll still do it

I no fit allow waste

.


Not a bad idea. I think I will do it even if I am rich.

Wealth is good! Hmmmmmmmmm! True absolutely. Riches can also be bad, depending on whose hand the riches or the "wealth" is. God, give me wealth also.

No matter your belief, may God show you mercy and give you a man with a real fear of God ( and not a heart breaker) very soon in the name of Jesus.

Jennyclay:
Indeed men are white stainers, look at how banky W stained Adesua’s white despite having the perfect wedding. Shame!!!

But on a serious note, Nigerian men are wicked, evil and heartless. Honestly, I have nothing good to write about Nigerian men.

Nigerian men are randy, stingy, rape apologist, women beater, murderer etc. I can’t even list them all, the list is long

Just avoid them! Shikena!!

If you and your husband know how to farm, and the husband is not abusive, if he is generally loving, but just having a bad time, if he is generally reasonable, God-fearing, loves farming, please go with him. Let him get his own land by begging, on credit, or in any legal means, and begin to plant perennial crops like coconut, palm-tree, cashew, cocoa, etc. Hope this helps. As for the children's school, you and your husband should join the school effort with home schooling, using your little knowledge to teach them

Na him post am here?

helinues:
Oya go and represent the aggrieved party in court with your evidence.

Abi seh court don dey online ni?

Physical exercise is not a medicine for a heart defect. A person having a heart problem should do mild exercises, not high-impact one like playing football.

chigoziri2403:
Why do the physically active collapse
I thought exercises are good for the health

A old man Sadhguru (YouTube him) claims, eating once a day is one of the surefire ways of eliminating 90% of all diseases from your body. So, you are not that worse off.

yellowgarri2:
Once.

I never chop today sef.

Don't know what can happen before night.

TELL HER TO RETURN ALL THE MONEY TO YOU FAST. DON'T BEEEEEEEEEE STUPID, PLEEEEEEEEESE.

Tell her to return all the money fast fast. Please, don't be stupid.

This is the same mindset I have when I read the story.

prepresh:
Please I need the connection to teach in the UK I believe I can do it

Choose a course to study based on PASSION, NOT BASED ON LABOR MARKET, NOT BASED ON ABROAD. WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE? AFTER 10 YEARS DOWN THE LANE, WOULD YOU STILL LIKE THE COURSE? JOB OR NO JOB, WOULD YOU STILL BE FULFILLED WITH YOUR COURSE, CAN YOU USE THE KNOWLEDGE GAINED FROM THE COURSE TO CREATE EMPLOYMENT FOR YOURSELF? WOULD YOU HAVE FUN READING THIS COURSE? GO OFFLINE THINK ABOUT THESE!

Lexiskillz09:
Good evening guys. I'm sorry for the long story. But it's serious Please
Please I need ur opinions on this issue bothering me. I am a Industrial chemistry graduate. I graduated last year and just completed my NYSC. I want to go for postgraduate studies but I am having difficulties in making a decision on what to do.

Someone advised me to switch to Chemical engineering, (this will require a 1 year postgraduate diploma course) though I wouldn't mind if there's a guarantee I stand a very good chance in the labour market after the PGD and MSC. On the other hand, 2 bros in my area I respect so much discouraged me about switching. Both of them were of the opinion that it would rather keep me confused instead of helping me. That recruiters will consider a candidate with B.Eng Chemical engineering without a masters over me, while chemistry field will consider a chemistry msc holder over me also.
Bottom line, it's almost a waste of time especially here in Nigeria that I should just do msc in industrial chemistry.

I'm still young though. I Will be 22 on 27th of this month.

Choose a course to study based on PASSION, NOT BASED ON LABOR MARKET, NOT BASED ON ABROAD. WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF LIFE? AFTER 10 YEARS DOWN THE LANE, WOULD YOU STILL LIKE THE COURSE? JOB OR NO JOB, WOULD STILL BE FULFILLED WITH YOUR COURSE, CAN YOU USE THE KNOWLEDGE GAINED FROM THE COURSE CREATE EMPLOYMENT FOR YOURSELF? WOULD YOU HAVE FUN READING THIS COURSE? GO OFFLINE THINK ABOUT THESE!

I think Kayode should discuss his feelings with the manager and do same with Peter. Let Peter know that whatever we sow in this life, we are going to reap, that he does not like Peter's behaviour. He should know not sound to Peter as if he's talking to a subordinate, but as a human being and not just as a subordinate. He should speak sense to Peter and see if there will be a change from Peter and a change also from the boss, after his discussion with him. Hope with prayer, politeness and openness, this will help. I wish you the best of God's favor, there.

IyaTola:
Following a performance review exercise at organization XYZ, the HoD informed a unit supervisor (Kayode) that he would not be promoted because he had not managed his team member (Peter) well enough. Essentially, according to the HoD, Peter’s misbehavior was the responsibility of Kayode to fix and make him better.

Meanwhile, Peter is a choir member in the HoD’s church and they have a bond beyond work. Peter sometimes gets to the HoD ahead of any team member to give update on the team or report things that are going on within the team to the HoD. Despite knowing this, Kayode was not deterred. He took up the assignment of developing Peter with a personal determination to get the most out of him and make him a better person. This, Kayode did, dedicatedly.

However, Peter continued to misbehave but Kayode accommodated his excesses and tried not to make an issue out of the bad attitude and behaviour he continued to get from Peter who saw Kayode as a toothless dog. This had gone on for a while, and a few months down the line, Kayode had issues with his own direct Manager which they resolved and work went on without any major disruption or escalations.

Surprisingly, it came back during the next appraisal cycle and the HoD again denied Kayode’s promotion because, according to the HoD, “Kayode could not manage his Manager well enough”. At this point, Kayode was distraught because he felt confused. How come his Manager was not getting the same hard knock as he got in dealing with Peter? What is he missing?

Kayode was about dropping his letter of resignation and taking a pay-cut to join another organization.

What advice should I give Kayode?
How can he move past this?
What options are available to him?
What developmental areas would you recommend him to work on, if any.
Looking forward to receiving your comments and suggestions.
Thank you.

As someone has rightly said that you should satisfy your curiosity, please do so by asking your mother or her friends or relations about the whereabout of your dad, and make sure you find out about your dad. I also want you to be ready for any result that comes up, in case your mum is not supportive or any of the people you contact are not supportive, be ready for any result that comes out at the end of the day. Again, if you meet your father, and he does not want to meet you or even disown you please, prepare for anything that comes up. Make sure you are not expecting success, work on your mind, believe in Jesus Christ, read good books, read the Bible, make friends, don't hide it from people when opportunity comes to share it. I have discovered that when you keep something that is bothering you as a secret, it continues to bother you and torture you, but when you throw it to the open, not to every Tom Dick and Harry anyway, but to the people that matter in your life, then the fear, the shame, the embarrassment or whatever is over, but please, as I round off, I want you not to expect success. If you succeed, fine and if you don't succeed,fine. Prepare your mind for said whatever happens. you Find help in Bible, find help in God, find help in friendships, fellowship with people of the world God, find them in books. The lord help you in Jesus name amen.






(quote author=Prechgold1180 post=119106982]Good evening house

Sorry to bore you with my issues


My mum and dad separated 24 years ago

Reason for separation
My only biological bro died from malaria
My dad was unable to come up with money for treatment

My mum moved out took me with her
She remarried 2 years after
Gave birth to 4 leaving me with 4 step sibling
Some years back I heard my mum saying my dad has other children ( I don’t even know them ) I don’t even know my dad

I am a graduate now

So comfortable in life
Got lands houses and cars to my name

My problem now is I feel empty whenever I think of my dad
More like I don’t know my root

I plan on visiting mums home for Christmas
The problem is she hates my dad so much
any thing about that topic gets her angry

I don’t know how to convince to go show me my dads house

I don’t know possible ways to get her to show me my dad hus

Don’t even know if my dad is good
Don’t even know his family
Don’t even know my village
Everything I call family is just from my mother side

Zero from my dad side
I wish I can know them[/quote]

It's not cultural differences or divergent values abroad that separate marriages. Rather, it's lack of godly values or principles. There are marriages that last a lifetime and those that didn't last 5 years both hear and abroad. The rate of divorce or staying together depends on the number of sound Christians or sound persons in both societies.

Repent, you have been indulging in pre-marital sex and it's illicit, and therefore, sinful in God's sight. Repent and wait for marriage. Seek pastoral counseling before it is too late

Eleyigidgan:
what are thesolutions

I really envy you, I have three trees of coconut in my house:I pray they all fruits like yours. Cheers!

ytdivine:
The biggest asset one can get is land. Nigeria is blessed with this but unfortunately this potential is under utilized. I converted every space within my compound to garden with variety of vegetables, fruits, crops and tubers.

I can't remember when last I buy oranges, pears, banana, plantain, sour sops, pawpaw, ugu, oha etc from market as I have all this within my home some in commercial quantity.

This thread is to encourage everyone to go back to agriculture in small available space within your disposal.
I will be posting pictures to support my claims.
Please share your opinion on this

I can be your partner on full time, depending on how big your land is. Let me know if you are interested.

greenermodels:
land is very costly in Akure/Ondo compared to Oyo but what if I get about 5 acres of good fertile land in Akure, can you help me to set it up for vegetables and fruits? Target is the market in Onitsha.

Plant cash crops like banana, plantain, coconut, orange, cocoa etc. All or a combination of a few of these is great. If you are looking for a partner, I don't mind to join you.

greenermodels:
If you have 50 acres of fertile farm land in the southwest, what would you do with it?

Thanks. I will let you know when I have done it. Thanks for your time. .


Your password is your responsibility. So long as it's correct, please go and sign in again. You'll receive a message telling you to go to your e-mail to verify your IP address. Login to your e-mail, open the message sent to you and click the box saying "Verify IP". Once you do that, it opens your dashboard and you can update your info and do anything you want on their website. You will have to repeat this login Processes everytime you login. It's for security purposes.

Please do and let me know how it goes.

Cheers.[/quote]

Thanks very much for the quick response. I have signed up on the website but I have been unable to sign in. Please, is there anything I am doing wrong?





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easypee:
@verminnel
@mansoor093
@ADEBAYO327
@fridbalo
@roteamee
@Godmind2022



Sorry for the late reply.
Please check your e-mails. The Grant application procedure has been sent to you all.

Good luck.

gbengaaroniyo42@gmail.com

please I'm interested. Someone should please send me(gbengaaroniyo42@gmail.com) the grant application too. I God bless

Politics of personal interests (stomach politics) everywhere. What a shame!