₦airaland Forum

cococandy:
Don’t be sucked into the trap. Feminist advice is always good advice. Unless it’s not feminist advice.

If a woman give you bad advice, it doesn’t mean it’s feminist advice. That’s what folks who dislike gender equality want you to believe.

.

She was given the women liberation advice. Advice that would only incite rebellion and strong headedness in her husband, making her life difficult.

There are ways to get a husband to do things for his wife, bend to her will, etc. Being stubborn is not part of iy.

bukatyne:
I did not know her either till my friend told me the story and I read her up.

So she was 'independent' successful single woman who told ladies that they could do without a man bla bla bla.

She told them not to take trash, or compromise bla bla bla

Mwanwhile, madam was secretly married to her business partner.

She seemed to have built an image as one of these popular women speakers like Invictus kind of thingy.

There are so many people like this. And ladies will listen to them and start living their lives that way not knowing she's a scam.

My colleague just gisted me today of a friend that almost ruined her marriage because of feminist advice from her friends. And so she refused to wash her husband's plates when he finished eating. She used to tell him to go wash his plate and a whole lot of other things.

Long story short, an older and wiser woman advised her, she dropped those friends and things changed at home. The truth is that most of those advisers do the opposite of what they say you should do.

saucecode:
You disarmed me wit ur response honestly

It's not my style to throw insults and shades. I would rather have a sane conversation.

saucecode:
I'm sorry

I

saucecode:
This lazy broad with pomo lips has come again. Is it not u dat was saying women should not do exclusive breastfeeding becos it weakens dem? Now becos u give birth, u won't be able to lift finger to wash plate and clean abi.
Why are u so lazy? Please tell me, i want to direct Yu to see someone.

Women dat don't have mother or mother is too far away like in another continent. Who will help
Talk like someone dat have more dan 7 brain cells i beg u

I'm flattered at the stalking.

I didn't have a mother. My mum inlaw came. I did all the work including going to the market, cooking, serving, cleaning even if I had a CS less than two weeks before. So I am not talking in amiss. Though it doesn't mean all MILs are that way.

About breastfeeding, I never advise people to do or not to do. You decided to read your own meaning into what I said. I am only responsible for what I say and not how you choose to interpret it.

And you should learn to communicate objectively and without prejudice instead of talking like you have a score to settle with me or like I don't have a right to my opinion.

If she comes for omugwo, that is expected. That's why it's better for the wife to have her mum come over for omugwo to avoid "your wife insulted me"

computergeek:
Oh God... How will his parents be feeling now? I pray he is found safe and sound. There's nothing as horrifying as someone you know being lost, let alone your child.



Uncles please remove all your clothes and go have sex with a transformer. Make sure to record tapes, ndi oponu.

Had it been that it was a girl now, it's people like you that will start screaming she is in her boyfriend's house.

Exactly! One way thinkers

Yinibixema:
As i am. I’m still your head even though you’re older than me. That’s my point

Keep telling yourself that.

Yinibixema:
You don’t talk to a man anyhow lol. It’s not easy to be a man

Same here

Yinibixema:
[s][/s]
That’s a man you’re talking to. Shut up on his behalf

What do you mean by he's a man?So men have the right to disrespect women.

Please you boys should not crack me up this afternoon.

Harrison4adam:
Example is Magdala Nigeria.. located at Opening Ikeja... They start by lecturing you on how your mates are making millions and after 6hours of talks, they will ask you to pay #30k.
Scammer

Ikeja is their depot. Most of these scam companies are in Ikeja

DenreleDave:
I like you but u shud keep shut. Imalma dear, he knows what he is facing, it's his marriage.. U av yours, he has his..

Notin about washing linen in the public, it's anonymous stuff.. Let him. Vent his anger dear


That you are not experiencing this in ur marriage doesn't mean another person is not experiencing it...


I love you imalma

Whatever you do or say, don't ever tell me to shut up.

Enjoy your day

Yinibixema:
[s][/s]
Shut up my friend. You’re also talking to someone’s husband(op)

Oh shut up and move along. And point of correction, I am not your friend.

I didn't suck. My daughter didn't suck. Thank God!! Because I can't deal. My body is always just scratching me and doing me somehow when kids suck around me.


I have always felt that sucking makes the child a little duller than other children(it may not necessarily be true). Instead of going to play or participating in stuff with other kids, they will find one corner and be sucking away.

I just thank God in advance that my other children won't suck also.

sagaxity:
The north aren't known to be philanthropical, with the exception of a certain Dangote..

Reno just do the little you can and move on.

They give alms to beggars. They probably think that is enough.

genq:
Oh else what?

Are you femcels capable of doing more than typing lengthy epistles on nairaland and insulting men?

myang500, don't let her incoherent rants silence you o.

I don't insult men or people. Neither do I go around throwing insultive words at will.

Show your solidarity with him in another way.

myang500:
Kindly shut the hell up, i am posting anonymously, if words arent penned down with details and out of anger, I might not be understood,whats with the washing dirty linen when nobody knows who is being talked about.

I should shut the hell up? Is that how you talk to your wife? You are here wailing and whining about her being disrespectful yet you cannot even keep your emotions in check and act like an adult.

Were you tied and dragged to the altar? You decided to marry someone after 2 weeks of dating. You decided to taste what you were not ready to eat. Be careful how you use your tongue on me. I am not your wife and I am not the type of woman that you can bully or suppress.

Be guided!

dukeprince50:
Good day nairalanders.

I am in my final year and about to defend my project and would likely have a lecturing job after graduation.

My CGPA was good so I was not really surprised but the problem is that for the past three years I have bin thinking of starting my own business and grow my wealth, I have bin thinking of becoming financially independed and has decided that I'll not need a Job.

I somehow fancy the lifestyle of doing whatever I want to, going to work when I want to, closing from work when i want to, going for vacation when I want to and do not really like the idea of doing what others want me to.

But there is no capital right now and I have told my dad to raise me something which he said he doesn't have, though I have little savings which I could use to start something very small.

So my question is, should I accept the Job knowing that immediately I start seeing salary, I could forget my dreams, that fear keeps ringing or should I just start with the little knowing that it won't be enough for me at the moment but there is 100% hope I'll grow.

The fear is I am 26now, plan on getting married at 30(This is a must and cannot be compromised) cos I want to marry and just rest so I could chase my goal which from my own calculations could take another 25-30yrs of my life.

so I'll need to feed more mouth, but I can't tell if I'll be able to add one more mouth at my 30 but if I become a lecturer, I'll not have a problem.
I do not want to do the both. I just want to focus on my goals or the Job. Just humble opinion.

I advise that you work in an organized setting first and see how things work instead of just jumping from school to business. Get educated on a job!

Richy4:
I might be wrong on this assertion but I have to voice out what I think.

The more I read all what op is writing, the more I think that this story might be fictitious.. it lacks nuclear family originality, orientations and flavour.. let it not be that he is just leading the readers on..

Reading between the lines, the write up has the quality of someone that is still single, no children involved, unlike someone that was married for 7yrs with kids.. Anyone that studied a bit of literature and understands it will agree with me that most of the time, it's not about what was written but what wasn't.. and I won't say more of what wasn't.. just leaving it for the reader to make their choice.

Lastly No sane respectable responsible married man would graphically describe his wife's sexual dealings like that. Even some that were into boyfriend and girlfriend relationship that respects their partners cannot even go into details when talking about the 'place' his supposed children were incubated before coming to this world. That's pure disrespectful to the children if this guy is truly married.. Maybe I'm being old fashioned but anyways
I apologise if this is real. I'm done here.

His utter lack of respect for his wife shows in his uncouth words. No discretion at all.

I might actually start to think the story is fake because no responsible married man can just bare it all including mentioning "honeypot", etc.

crackhaus:
Someone is expressing himself regarding suspicions of his wife's infidelity and this viral infection is typing total nonsense about respect & strangers.
What's the connection?

You must definitely be a cheat as well for that comment to be causing you discomfort.

But that's the truth. The OP lacks discretion and maturity even in his words. Just completely washing his dirty linens outside without no caution whatsoever.

pocohantas:
Na their way. They thrive in numbers.

Like a pride of lions trying to take down a buffalo or elephant gaan.

Always calling for back up

They have arrived. Pairing up and fighting everyone.

AstroG:
Point of correction,it was a typo error,secondly ah can never call u "Dear" in this Life and beyond, lastly,don't say what you can't do.


Take care

*Yawns

AstroG:
Yes,ah dear you to mention names ??

Nice try.

And it's "dare".

For a minute there, i thought you were actually calling me "dear" which I know it's impossible.

AstroG:
Mention their names please ??

Hmmm AstroG are you sure you want me to mention names?

ednut1:
So ubunja might be a woman wrapper

He might be another Linda Ikeji; doing the opposite of what he preaches

joyberry:
lol����But she said the truth, many people online are forming what they all not.

So many...lol...red pillers especially. I don't wanna mention names.

tosyne2much:
Most guys on this platform see women as slaves not as soul mate and the more reason why they're always on the front page making mouths about what they can't take from women.

The thing is this, unless a woman has proven she doesn't deserve to be treated nicely and respectfully, I don't think the whole idea of treating every woman like crap is worth it

True that

Opzyyy:
Hello! Please what did your colleague say about the interview? Is it spm professionals for real?

He didn't go.

myang500:
You are sexist or is it a feminist or whatever they call your type. You dont see anything wrong in the woman, its always the man. Am not a domineering man neither do I see my wife as though she should be beneath me. She is just a typical modern day disrespectful type, no respect, nothing whatsoever, i wont be surprised if you fall into the same category as her. Going to a counselor is not part of my plan, as every-time we go , instead of trying to reach a solution, shes trying to make herself feel like am the cause of the problem, and shes the saint. Infact the last session showed she had more work to do per the counselors assessment, she was told to come back for more..but she never did

You conveniently removed the last paragraph to drive home your point of my being a sexist. See the full post

You spoke well.

I think he is the type that feels his wife his is beneath him and he is the lord, master and king. Marriage is really not about proclaiming your position and rights or demanding slave-like submission. It should more about having consideration for your partner and working together as a team.

I agree that the first one or two years in marriage could be tough, but throwing insultive words around... that one is a personal trait and a result of character flaws. Because 4yrs and counting, "we" never utter even the basic abusive words to each other.

To see these words they throw at each other is disturbing. That's why I don't think the marriage had a good foundation. And he as a man needs to know how to keep things sane. He is getting these reactions from her because of his abuse words. She also needs to learn not to react but be quiet.

They need to see a counselor


You don't know me. So you can't even say what category I fall in. So don't commit a fallacy.

You complain about your wife being disrespectful, yet you have not noticed the log in your eye. Or do you think it's only the man that should be shown respect?

Both of you are not ready to live in peace. Whatever you are complaining about in your wife, if you are honest with yourself, you are also guilty of it. Or it's ok for you to insult her right?

I am not into gender wars or feminist or "masculinist" theories. I only believe that each person should be treated with respect and consideration.

Richy4:
Most Marriages has passed through this kind of phase my brother. Anyone telling you that it will be rosy from start to finish is not being realistic. Getting married is easy but staying married is where the whole thing gets complicated.

Those argument to me is so origin except the part of cheating.. I have heard that line of insult about ugly and small Penis before but from much older couple that got married about 40 something yrs..

The only problem I have seen with your marriage is how to strike a balance between modern day living and traditional style of marriage. U don't know where to draw the line. U wanted a Morden marriage at the same time traditional lifestyle kinda marriage and u couldn't balance it..

U were splitting the bills bro. And she is trying to do her part to come up with her own share. So her business will do that part and running a business is time consuming and that to me is Morden.. But then, u still want her to come back home on time and do the cooking while u were at home.(traditional )

Assuming the arrangements was for her to stay @home while u provide everything, then if she was neglecting your breakfast by watching movies or painting her nails, I will have said oh! what a woman. But in this case, what she was doing was for the best interest of the family. So if I were you, I will arrange my own breakfast once in a while even lunch knowing that it's modernised style of marriage...where her contribution to the upkeep of the family is crucial/ important.

My final opinion is that don't take what she said about bringing a man home seriously. U attacked her were it hurts.. saying a woman was ugly even when she was can make a her say so many unprintable things just to get back @u.. Just to make it look like if u don't appreciate, someone else would.

So the bottom line here is to define the style of marriage that u wanted or that is suitable for you two from now on...Morden, traditional or combination of both. Then research on what you can do to make it work..

You spoke well.

I think he is the type that feels his wife his is beneath him and he is the lord, master and king. Marriage is really not about proclaiming your position and rights or demanding slave-like submission. It should more about having consideration for your partner and working together as a team.

I agree that the first one or two years in marriage could be tough, but throwing insultive words around... that one is a personal trait and a result of character flaws. Because 4yrs and counting, "we" never utter even the basic abusive words to each other.

To see these words they throw at each other is disturbing. That's why I don't think the marriage had a good foundation. And he as a man needs to know how to keep things sane. He is getting these reactions from her because of his abuse words. She also needs to learn not to react but be quiet.

They need to see a counselor

They are not wicked because they are poor. They are poor because they are wicked


Words on marble.